For You I Would: Chapter Eleven: To Live Is To Die

By Mira Ruskin

Notes: I know, I know, bad me. Slap on the wrist. This is not enough to count as a crossover, I just used a setting. That's all, you'll be alright. If after reading this you have no idea what I'm talking about, that's probably good. So, this was meant to be serious, but it turned out with more points of humor than meant. Hope it still maintains its somberness. And, I'll be in Canada, my loves, for two weeks so here's a going away present from me to you. If anyone out there resides in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia: I'll see 'ya soon!

Najilia opened her eyes with a small gasp, feeling as if she had been deprived of some amount of oxygen. It was dark at first. She was frightened. She felt cold, as cold she had been when she had accepted the darkness into her heart. It was a move that often she regretted, and wondered how much things would have been different if she had made a different decision. She had learned later that she was lied to. Her choice brought her no closer to Riku, only pushed them farther away from each other.

It took her a moment of staring, shaking in the darkness for her eyes to adjust. She noticed, eyes narrowing, that she was in a sort of grotto. She was sitting, waist deep in a refreshingly cold pool of crystal clear water. The bottom of the pool seemed to be granite. It was an array of beautiful colors, ranging from deep purples to light teals and soft cherry pinks.

She jumped slightly as a small ball of light danced across the air in front of her face. It was a pale yellow orb, emitting a soft glow. Trailing behind it was an aurora of colors. Pale oranges and sherbet pinks and lavenders lingered in the air before Najilia's very eyes. She felt out of breath watching it. It was like a floating sunrise.

"Riku," Najilia breathed, feeling an overwhelming sorrow wash over her.

"Those are pyreflies," said a soft, male voice from beside her. Najilia turned her head around quickly, but for some reason didn't feel afraid. A handsome young man was sitting, just like Naj, waist deep in the water. She wondered briefly why she hadn't seen him before. She turned her head slightly to the side, curious.

"You're wearing an Organization XIII cloak," Naj whispered, her confusion passing over into her voice. The man smiled and nodded.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Why? Am I still in the mansion?"

"The time for all these questions will come. First, I'll need to explain some things. In answer to your previous two questions, however, I'm a member of the Organization." Naj furrowed her brow, but the man continued. "I was, at least. I was killed a long time ago, in Castle Oblivion. And no, you're not in the mansion anymore. You're in a place called the Farplane." Naj narrowed her eyes in confusion. The man just smiled warmly, as if he knew the meaning of all of it.

"It's where people go when they die," he said softly. Nag's eyes widened in extreme. The man chuckled lightly. His voice was smooth, and very soft. It was already calming Naj down. She bit her lip for a moment, afraid that if she spoke she would burst into tears. Finally, she felt herself calm a little.

"Am I-" she stopped herself, she couldn't ask. The man shook his head from side to side, silently telling her 'no'. She breathed a sigh of relief, and then the confusion came back to her hazel eyes.

"Then why am I here?" she asked.

"You might die. It's all up to a certain someone."

"Riku?" Instantly the man's expression changed. He turned away from Najilia, angry and irritated all of a sudden. A low growl emitted from his throat. Najilia was a little freaked out now.

"That boy is ridiculous. First he throws away his friends and his lover like they're old toys, next he literally opens the door to darkness, and finally destroys the very island he and his friends grew up on!" The man cried out, simply irate. Najilia watched him, leaning slightly back. The man looked over to her, and instantly shook his head, apologizing over and over.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. He just," he clenched his teeth again. Najilia put her hand on his arm, quickly. She didn't want another outburst.

"Don't think about him," she offered. The man looked to her for a moment, and then nodded, "Alright."

"What's your name?" Naj asked.

"Zexion," he replied. Zexion was the Cloaked Schemer. His hoary-blue hair covered the entire right side of his face, and was cut to slightly below his chin in the front, and choppy at the nape of his neck. His eyes were deep and dark, his mouth turned up in a slightly crooked smile. His nose was sharp, but not big. "Or, Ienzo. Though that life is long past."

Najilia nodded, "I've heard stories of you." Zexion was not a fighter. He waged psychological wars more than he liked getting his hands dirty in a physical battle. Ruthless and cunning, he was a member holding a rather high position. Najilia never heard how he died, she just knew of a member named Zexion who had passed on somehow. Whenever she had brought it up, mostly everyone got quiet. Axel would always get up and leave the room.

"Something you said is bothering me," Najilia added.

"About you being almost dead? I do suppose I owe an explanation," Zexion sighed, standing up. His motions were fluid-like; he seemed graceful. He reminded Najilia very much of a cat. After a long pause, he turned and faced her.

"At this very moment, Riku is bargaining for your life. Should he make a certain decision, you'll remain here with me. As Nobodies, we don't have a soul. Technically, that's already departed. We can die, but we cannot pass over. Stuck in limbo, I suppose. If Riku," Zexion cringed at the name, "chooses the other option, you'll wake up and be all 'Agh! I've had an otherworldly experience!'" Zexion was smooth, and slightly funny, although Najilia didn't laugh. She was not in the mood for jokes after being told her life was in someone else's hands.

Najilia stared dumbstruck at Zexion. He opened his palm and a Rubix cube formed in it. He had it solved in seconds. He set it on a nearby rock, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So, I was informed by a higher authority to ask you some questions. They're deep, and I want you to take as long as you want to answer. Sound good?"

Naj nodded. As long as it was apparently going to take Riku a while to decide what to do with her life, she might as well play twenty questions. Her previous thought stung a little. Did she trust Riku? Of course, but how would he fare in a bargain with such a high price? And what were the conditions? Naj's head was spinning. She brought some water from the pool beneath her into her hands, and gently splashed it on her face. She licked her lips, the water tasted sweet and cool.

"Naj?" Zexion said, waving his hands in front of her face. She looked up to him with vacant eyes, "Huh?"

"I asked you a question."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I did. You here?"

Naj nodded, she supposed she was as alert as she was going to get with her current thoughts still clouding most of her senses. Zexion sighed.

"You're zoning, aren't you?" Naj looked up to Zexion, eyes still not entirely focused on him. Her lip started quivering, and Zexion sighed. He stepped toward her, and offered his hand. She took it, and he pulled her to her feet. She expected him to leave it at that, but he kept pulling until she was in his arms. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders, the other slowly petting her hair.

"Go ahead, let it out," he whispered. Naj was slightly embarrassed, but cried a little none-the-less. Small tears crawled down her cheeks, dropping onto Zexion's cloak. She rested her forehead against his chest, and inhaled deeply, letting it out in a long sigh.

Zexion held her for a while, just letting her cry. When she seemed done, and he no longer heard light sniffling, he moved his hands to her shoulders and pushed her gently off his chest.

"We need to talk. Or, you do at least. I'll be asking some questions. Answer honestly, and as I said before take as long as you need," Zexion said, his eyes looking straight at Naj. She nodded, and wiped the last traces of her tears from her face on the sleeve of her cloak. She nodded at Zexion, letting him silently know she'd comply.

"Alright, first off, what do you wish for?" Zexion asked, his eyes looking at her, but in a sense through her. Najilia lowered her head, her thoughts clearing and focusing more on the question. They reached the entire way back to Destiny Islands, in front of that forsaken door.

"Another chance," she whispered.

"What are you?" Zexion asked quickly, committing her answers to memory.

"Lost," Naj sighed, her gaze toward the ceiling of the grotto, eyes lingering over smooth stone, but seeing memories and not the granite.

"What do you live for?"

"Riku," Naj answered quickly. But wasn't that what had gotten her into this mess to begin with?

"What would you die for?"

"Riku." She had already taken her own heart to save him. Wasn't that technically dying? Her soul was gone, but her body was trapped in slavery until it was released, which at the current moment had a chance of happening.

"What do you lack?" was the next question. Najilia paused for a moment, unsure of how to answer. She knew what she wanted. She wanted the truth, from everyone. From Riku, from Xemnas, from every single person she knew. She wanted it; didn't this mean she didn't have it?

"Truth," she answered, this time sure of herself.

"What do you fear?" Zexion's gaze never faltered from Najilia's own irises. Najilia paused, this time for quite a while. She watched the water swirl around her legs. She stared into the reflection below her. Who was she? Who had she become? More importantly, what had she become?

"Truth," she finally said, slowly and quietly. What was stopping her from asking Riku the questions for which she longed answers? After all, she would soon see him again if he chose for her to live, would she not? Then, she could ask the things she'd been afraid of. Why did they have to leave the island anyway? Was Najilia not good enough for Riku, the boy who always wanted more? Najilia was afraid of how he may react to her questions, her doubt.

Zexion nodded, taking in all her answers. His nod was understanding, as if he expected her answers to be something deep and philosophical in a sense. Najilia went to ask him what the purpose of all these questions were, but suddenly he turned his head to the side, looking toward the wall but not seeing it. He narrowed his eyes next, and turned to Najilia.

"Good news," he whispered, "Riku's made his decision." Najilia's eyes lit up, anticipation evident on her face. She went to ask questions, but suddenly lost her breath. Placing a hand to her throat, she looked to Zexion with fear in her hazel irises. He merely turned away, not wanting to see her anymore.

"Goodbye, Naj," he said softly, walking away. Najilia fell backward, back into the water. A darkness surrounded her, and clouded her vision. She heard the splash of her body being swallowed in the water of the grotto, and she felt it close over her chest, her face. Everything was black now, and she felt an odd pressure on her lungs. Soon, she felt nothing. She was unconscious again, lost in darkness.

"Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." -William Jennings Bryan