Recap-

"Jasper," she whispered my name, "I want you and I need you. I understand that what we have is kinda messed up to everyone involved even if they don't know they are involved, but it just feels right too," Bella said.

That was all I needed, then Bells kissed me before we made love. It was different this time, I put the love I felt for her in it, I didn't hold anything back, I hope she could feel it too. God, how I love this girl, no, woman.

I kissed her forehead and we fell asleep holding on to each other like we were supposed to be, a perfect fit.

Chapter 11: Finding time

(Jasper POV)

I woke up today and Bella was still in my arms, 'I could get used to this,' I thought to myself.

"Morning, angel," I said to her as I kissed her forehead.

"Morning, Jazzy," Bells said back smiling at me.

"This Friday, are you going to ask Edward to be your date tonight to the party?" I asked Bells, already knowing the answer.

"You are going to be Ali's date right? Well then I guess I should invite him to be mine, he'll be there anyway and if I have to watch you and Ali all night together kissing and such, I might not behave like a lady and that would be a really bad thing," Bells said.

I moved to get up and she grabbed my arm and shook her head no. "Jazzy, we have time wanna start the day off right and have something to think about me all day?" Bells asked with a sly smile.

"Yes, let's just brush our teeth first angel," I told her.

We brushed our teeth and I picked Bells up and carried her to the bed kissing her all the way. This time was fun but not as full of passion as last night. We kissed one last time before we went down to Emmett cooking breakfast.

"What movie were you two watching last night? Sounded like some love story crap." Emmett said as Rose slapped him in the back of the head.

I lied, I have been doing that a lot lately. "It was the same one that I brought the other day, Ghost of Girlfriends Past, Bells loves that movie," I said winking at her. Bells blushed and smiled back at me.

Rose threw me a look that said, don't-push-it-this morning and I let it go. We all rode together in Emmett's car again. Bella made sure not to sit too close to me today so I didn't smell like her.

Not that that was a bad thing, I loved the way she smells, I love everything about her. I probably smell more like her today anyways, because of our pre-breakfast fun.

We held hands under her book bag so Em wouldn't know and I hated to let her go. Today was going to be harder than yesterday, she'll be with Edward and this time it'll be in front of me.

Bells must have read my mind as she squeezed me hand and mouthed, "It'll be alright Jazzy, we have the night." I smiled at her and we were at school. I swallowed hard and let her go, watching her walk away from me is getting harder each time she does it.

Ali and Edward were waiting for us by the lockers again and Bella was already talking to him and smiling her breathe taking smile. 'That's my smile, I love that smile,' I thought to myself.

Edward reached down, took Bella's hand, and kissed the back of it as they left for their first class.

"Jasper, Jasper, are you in there somewhere? Where's my boyfriend and what have you done with him?" I heard Ali saying but it didn't register. My heart was walking down the hall with my best guy friend Edward.

"I'm sorry Ali, I was lost in thought," I said but I really wasn't sorry, I like her but I'm in love with Bella and I have to speak up, I'm not strong enough to stand by and watch her with Edward and me be with Ali when I can't give myself to her because I don't own my heart or my soul, Bella Swan owns them both.

The day was passing by kinda fast and I was glad because lunch was soon and I would be able to talk to everyone, which means Bella, and Ali won't be too jealous because her brother will be there with Bells.

"Hey guys, mine and Bells' parents are out of town so there'll be a football bonfire and party at our house tonight," Emmett yelled in the cafeteria, everyone cheered at that. We all love the parties the Swan children threw.

Then he stood back up and said that it was a lingerie party and for all the girls to wear something hot. Rose, of course, slapped him again and he earned that one I said.

I smiled at Bella thinking about the purple one she wore for me last night and then I thought she can't wear that or any other one for anyone but me. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Emmett? You know Rose and Bells will be at that party too, do you want them walking around in lingerie?" I asked.

Ali shot me a look sideways, and then I adjusted what I said to add her name too. She smiled at me and kissed me in front of everyone. "I'm only wearing it for one guy, you, Jasper," Ali added with a wink.

I looked across the table to see if Bells was watching and she was, out of the corner of her eye. Then I heard it and my heart almost broke. "Edward, would you like to be my date tonight? Rose and I are going shopping after school today, what color lingerie would you like me to get for you tonight?"

"Bella, love, I don't want to wear it, but you should get blue. I just love the way blue looks on you," Edward said back to her. Then she stood up after Ali kissed me and Bells sat down on Edward's lap and she kissed him.

It was one of those hot kisses that would set any guy's mind and body on fire for her. Edward's hands found their way to her body, one on the small of her back and the other in her hair.

I thought Emmett was going to come pull them apart.

"Emmy honey, can we go to your car for a lunch time quickie?" Rose asked saving Edward's life, at least from Emmett.

"I need to go get something out of my locker, I'll be right back," I said. If I didn't get out of here, it would hit the fan and I knew how Bella feels about that.

"Want me to come Jasper?" Ali asked with big eyes. I think she knows that I'm in love with Bella.

I smiled at her, held my hand out for her, and she followed me out of the cafeteria and into the hall. I looked back and Edward was still holding my Bells and kissing her like she was his.

"Listen Jasper, if there's something you need to tell me, now would be a good time," Ali said.

"What do you mean, Ali?" I asked. She looked at me then at Bella and Edward.

"Guess," she said.

"No, nothing, we're just best friends and we're really close. She can kiss who ever she wants, as long as they don't hurt her," I lied again.

"Are you sure Jasper, I like you and I want you, but I don't want to get hurt and I don't want my brother to get hurt either," She said.

I closed my eyes and I pulled her close to me thinking about Bella the whole time and I put my lips on hers and kissed her roughly. More roughly than I would have ever kissed Bells, I needed her right now, I wanted her, but I couldn't have her, not here like this.

"Wow, Jasper, you've never kissed me like that before. I could feel the passion in it; you must really be falling in love with me," I heard Ali say. She was looking up at me waiting for me to say something to say anything.

I couldn't, it'd come out wrong and she'd see right through me, so what did I do? I kissed her again.

"Jasper, can we be together tonight?" Ali asked.

"If that's what you want, we can talk about it," I said, knowing that I couldn't, it would hurt all of us too much.

I looked up and saw Bells and Edward standing there and the look in Bells eyes said it all. She had heard what Ali and I had said to each other.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute, please? Alone?!" I asked.

She just closed her eyes, shook her head, and said, "It's alright, I understand." Then she walked off, not even waiting for Edward.

"What was that all about Jasper?" Edward and Ali asked.

"Nothing!" I said and I slammed my locker shut and went off to my next class.

(Bella POV)

After last night, I was almost ready to say screw it all, I wanted and needed Jasper. We'd have to hurt; who we had to hurt because we are perfect for each other. We were two pieces to the same puzzle and now it was finished when we came together.

We brushed our teeth and made love again before school and I didn't think anything could ruin this day for me. I was walking on cloud nine, with no one else there but Jasper and I.

At breakfast Em asked what movie we watch last night, we must've been kinda loud, but thinking back at the way he made me feel, I wasn't sorry.

Jasper said the same movie we had already kinda watched so if Em asked about it we could tell him. Over protective big brother (eye roll).

Jasper and I held hands in the back of Emmett's car on the way to school; I didn't want to cause the same scene as yesterday so I stayed as far away from as I could.

Although, I could still smell him on me after this morning events. I liked the way he smelled and I would walk around all day thinking about him and his hands on me and his lips kissing me and– wait stop Bella or you'll be on top of him in this car and Emmett would freak.

I looked over at Jasper and he must've been thinking about the same thing and I squeezed his hand and told him we had tonight after the party and everyone left. He smiled at me and I saw that we were at school so I climbed out and went to find Edward to ask him if he wanted to be my "date " for tonight's party.

I found him with his sister waiting by the lockers. I walked over and started talking to him and her a little. 'Play nice Bella,' I kept saying over and over in my head.

I watched the way she threw herself at Jasper and Edward grabbed my hand and we walked away

"Does she bother you that much?" Edward asked.

"Bother me about what?" Like I was fooling anyone.

"The way she's with Jasper? She's jealous of how close the two of you are, you know? And she doesn't even know that you and he had struggled at first after the break up with left over feeling, but that's over now, right?" Edward asked as he kissed my hand.

The day was going by pretty good, I had gotten all A's so far in all my classes and lunch was coming up and I would get to talk to Jasper and Rose and everyone.

At lunch, Emmett told everyone, and I mean everyone, about the party at our house, I better call and order some food. The whole football team could eat but the whole school we will need a lot more.

Edward sat beside me and then Emmett and Rosie and then Jasper was across from me with Ali almost on his lap. Tramp, be nice Bella.

Jasper said something to Emmett about the lingerie that Rose and I would be wearing in front of other people and Ali acted like a child and got mad till he included her.

I had almost forgotten that I hadn't asked Edward to be my date for tonight's party, so I did. "Edward, would you like to be my date tonight? Rose and I are going shopping after school today, what color lingerie would you like me to get for you tonight?"

He said something about blue, but I was watching Jasper out of the corner of my eye. "Bella, love, I don't want to wear it, but you should get blue, I just love the way blue looks on you, "Edward said laughing at the joke he had just made about him wearing the lingerie.

'Enough!' I said to myself, Ali was really pissing me off and I had to do something or I was going to go and kick her in her head. "I'm only wearing it for one guy, you, Jasper," with her fake laugh and her wink; puck!

So what did I do? I climbed onto Edward's lap and kissed him like I kiss Jasper every chance I got. A kiss that I knew what it would say and at this point I didn't care.

Edward put one of his hands on my lower back and the other in my hair, pulling me closer to him. I wish this guy couldn't kiss or make me feel all tingling and stuff.

He made me feel good, not in the same way Jasper does, but my body called out to him too. But I would not follow through with it because my heart is in Jasper's.

I heard Rose pull Em away to go and have sex in the car so he wouldn't hit Edward and I heard Jasper get up and say he had to get something. Ali asked to follow and he offered her his hand and they left the room.

Edward and I kept kissing till the teacher told us to knock it off or we would have after school detention. So we stopped. We got up and headed to our lockers to finish the day so we could all have a great time tonight.

We walked up and they didn't see us but we heard them.

"No, nothing, we're just best friends and we're really close and she can kiss who ever she wants as long as they don't hurt her," Jasper said to Ali, I don't know what she asked first but I don't think I would've like it.

They talked a little more then he kissed her, it was a hot kiss that said he wanted her, he was hungry for her then she said it, I heard it and I wished I didn't.

"Jasper can we be together tonight?" Ali asked.

"If that's what you want, we can talk about it," he said back to her. Jasper wanted to be with her that way, our way. He wanted to touch her like he touches me.

I'm not sure when my heart stopped beating but it must have, it couldn't possibly be beating when it's broken. He saw that we were there and he asked to talk to me.

I just closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath and I told him I understood. We had talked about this; I just didn't think it would be so soon.

I guess that it's better before I fall too deeply for him, if I could fall any deeper. I just walked away not waiting for Edward or nothing, I had to run and I needed to do it now. I always ran to sort things out and there was a lot to sort out.

"No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."(Francois Mocuriac) This kept coming to my mind as I was changing to go running.

I had already talked to the head soccer coach and was given the alright to skip out the rest of the day to train for the next game. I ran for miles and miles, the woods just stretched out in front of me and trailed behind.

I needed to get a grip, Jasper and I had talked about this; Ali and he are a couple and I knew that she would want to be with him sooner or later, but by then, I was hoping that he and I would have worked out all of this.

If that was even possible. I heard someone calling my name and I turned and there stood Rose, I hated to cry, crying is for the weak but as soon as she got to me and wrapped her arms around me, I was crying like a little baby on her shoulder.

"It's alright Bella, I'm here for you. Cry it all out, sweetie, I know you are hurting," Rose said. Then she lifted my chin up to look into my eyes, "Bella don't you think you should admit that you're in love with my brother?" Rose asked.

I looked at her and shook my head. "Why Bella, you love him and he loves you, any fool can see it. Ali can see it, that's why she's trying so hard with him. Edward knows this too, but he's falling in love with you so he won't push it, hoping you'll choose him."

"Bella, I'm going to tell you something that my mom used to tell me before I met my Emmy bear, she said that everyone is going to hurt you sooner or later, you have to choose who is worth the pain, do you understand?"

I looked at her, blinked a few times, and told her that I did. "Bella, do you have feelings for Edward, too?" Rosalie asked.

Did I? I think I might, but can it be what my heart feels for Jasper? I needed to choose now. "I don't know Rosie, my heart hurts every time I see Jasper and Ali together but I know that when I helped her with him it was right at the time. But now, it doesn't feel right. It feels like part of me is gone and Edward makes me feel better. He makes me feel like I'm important," I said.

"Bella, Jasper doesn't make you feel that way? He'd hang the stars in the sky for you, you have to know that. Jasper has loved you for years, you had to have known that," Rose said.

"I guess I kinda did, but I didn't return it till now. Rose, I do love your brother, but I don't know if that's enough. Maybe I should do right and set him free, for real this time. Be the best friend he needs me to be and that's all."

"That's not what I was trying to get you to do Bella, you should be with him, you two fit just like Emmy and I do. You do what's best for you, I'm here for you, you're my best friend, my sister," Rose said as she hugged me tighter to her.

She was crying now too. "So, maybe we should go shopping, that always makes things better," Rose said and I smiled and we ran back to school.

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Thanks for reading. Thanks to my beta Strawberry9212. Please review if you like it and want more.