A/N: Thanks for sticking with me so far and for all the reviews and favourites, they mean the world!
As soon as Merlin reached one of the guest chambers, he locked himself inside and leaned back against the door. Closing his eyes, he let out a shaking breath and waited for the visions to subside. They were still plaguing him, even though Morgause's torture had been hours ago and he couldn't get the images out of his head.
Every bad thing that had happened to him played out, over and over, before his eyes.
Finding out his mother had died.
Catching Will as he fell, a crossbow bolt through his chest.
The day he'd gone out by himself and Cenred's men had ambushed him, wanting to take revenge on the boy who had so easily risen through the ranks of Cenred's army.
The months he'd spent in captivity, his magic bound by chains and Morgause hadn't come. You have to learn to protect yourself, Emrys. She'd said it was a punishment for being foolish enough to get caught.
The moment he'd been on the pyre and he'd seized up in fright, too terrified to use his magic. Morgause had only just answered his pleas for help in time.
He bent over and let out a scream. Somewhere in the room, a vase exploded. A shriek of surprise followed and Merlin jerked his head up, not realising he hadn't been alone.
From around a corner, Gwen appeared, stopping short as she spotted Merlin.
He'd never actually spoken to Gwen, only knew who she was because of her connection to Arthur. She seemed sweet, honest. She reminded him of her mother.
"Sire! My lord, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise anyone was in here. I was just changing the sheets. Although, you probably didn't need to know that. I'll ... I'll just be going now my lord."
Merlin couldn't help the smile at her stumbling response and it eased the ache in his chest.
"It's alright," he broke through her ramblings. "I didn't mean to surprise you. I didn't know you were in here either." Otherwise I wouldn't have come in here. Otherwise I wouldn't have let you see me breakdown.
"You can go now, Guinevere."
He unlocked the door with a wave of his and and she hurried to it, clutching her basket of dirty sheet too her and seeming to shield herself with it as she walked past him.
She's afraid of me.
It was a bitter thought.
Gwen stopped, however, in the doorway, chewing her lower lip as if making a decision.
"Is there something you wanted to say, Guinevere?"
"I ... I just wanted to ask if you were alright, my lord? You were screaming."
Merlin felt his stomach roll and forced a lid down on his emotions.
"I was merely upset by something, nothing to worry about."
She opened her mouth, then seemed to think better of it. Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure how he would have responded, or if he would just have broken down and confessed everything.
What was he thinking? She was a serving girl in his conquered kingdom. He didn't need to answer her questions. Didn't need her sympathy. Didn't need her care or Arthur's or any one else' for that matter.
"I know what you did, yesterday," she blurted out. "You saved, Arthur."
Merlin blinked.
"I'm sorry for speaking out of place sire, but I think you should know - Arthur's a good man. Uther may be a tyrant, but Arthur isn't like him. And you saved him. I thought someone should thank you for that."
A thousand responses came to Merlin's tongue at that. I didn't save him. It's all part of the plan. He's more use to me dead than alive. I don't need your thanks.
Lies, lies, all of them and none of his words made it past his lips.
"You should go now, Guinevere," he forced out, resisting the urge to simply slam the door in her face. I thought someone should thank you for that.
"As you wish sire."
She was gone, off down the corridor, and Merlin closed the door once more, resting his forehead against the wood.
He was a mess.
Arthur woke with a gasp, his chest seizing up in pain and his fists clenching on the covers. It was past dawn, cool sunshine bathing the courtyard beyond the window and Arthur lay in the bed for a moment, his head spinning a little from pain, before he realised he was in his bed. His own bed. Sighing, he leaned back on the pillows, debating getting up before his mind reasonably pointed out that that was impossible in his current state.
He'd been a fool. A fool to say those things to Emrys. He knew Emrys was more powerful than he was, knew that with a snap of his fingers Emrys could end his life. And yet ... he hadn't ... yet.
Perhaps that was all part of their plan. Lull him into a false sense of security. Make him believe they were close to breaking, because, after the previous night where he'd seen Emrys crying, he'd say the man was already broken.
Why couldn't his enemies be easy to understand?
Mogause seemed pretty obvious in her intent, but why was she so comfortable with sitting back and letting Emrys take the throne? And Emrys he just couldn't fathom out. One moment he was cold as stone, the next, weeping on Arthur's floor and then lashing out. And Morgana? He didn't even know where to start.
He found himself guessing at what they had planned. How they planned to hold onto power. What they planned to do with him.
His thoughts going in circles, he didn't hear the knock on the door and only looked up when he heard a small cough.
"Gwen," he croaked out, annoyed at how feeble he sounded.
"Arthur." She sounded relieved - he wondered how far the sound of his screams must have traveled last night. "How are you?"
She came and sat on the end of the bed and Arthur watched her closely. She seemed more tired than when he last saw her and her hands shook slightly as she smoothed down the covers.
"I shouldn't be here, they'll beat me if they catch me and some of the soldiers are simply horrible but ..." She trailed off into silence, chewing her lip and twisting a loose thread from the blankets between her fingers. "Arthur, you have to keep fighting."
Arhtur looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"The people, they're growing restless. Morgause and Emrys care little for them and there are murmurings, rumours ... When you beat Cenred the other day, it gave them hope. Of course, you didn't beat him all by yourself but every time they see you, every time they see you still fighting, it helps them to keep fighting too."
"Wait ... but I did beat Cenred on my own, didn't I?"
Gwen's head shot up, her eyes round. "You didn't know?"
"Didn't know what?"
"Well ... he, Emrys, he helped you. He moved the sword so you could reach it."
"He what?!"
"Guinevere, do you have any particular reason to be in here other than palace gossip?"
Neither of them had noticed Emrys enter the room and Gwen went pale as she got hastily to her feet. Arthur's chest twinged in pain.
"No, my lord. I'm sorry, my lord. I'll be leaving now."
She hurried from the room without a backwards glance. A silence settled over the room after she'd gone.
"Is it true?" Arthur didn't know if he would dare say it until the words were out of his mouth.
"Does it matter?" came Emrys' cryptic response.
Arthur swallowed hard. Despite his thoughts the previous night, the memory of Emrys' torture and the residual pain he was still feeling, made him more than a little afraid at what Emrys might do.
"You can rest for today, I'll have Gaius bring you something to recover. Then you're to work on the training fields, aid my soldiers."
"That's servants work," Arthur said, then realised the joke his words were.
Emrys raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think you are anything more than a servant?"
Play the game, let them think they've won. Bide your time. More than ever now, Gaius' words were important.
"Nothing," Arthur said and added hastily, "Sire."
"Very good." A small smirk was on Emrys' face. "I'll see you tomorrow, I expect you to serve me for dinner."
"Yes, Sire."
With that, Emrys was gone.
