Sorry about the slow update; since March break is over, I have less time (and much more homework), so updates will be spaced out a little. Sorry, guys! I'll try to write most of the next chapter tomorrow, but no guarantees I'll finish it, alright? :)


11: Butterflies and Hurricanes (Muse)

Music pulsed around them so loud it was disconcerting, and Kurt found himself almost wishing he had said no when Ryan had invited him to this shindig. Apparently, Ryan's friend Kyle from Modern Dance had just moved into his own apartment, and decided to have a house-warming party; the small space was crammed with hot bodies, grinding and swaying to the music that was really too loud to distinguish. The smell of college students and cheep beer was everywhere, but in it was a sense of freedom that seemed to emanate from all around. Freedom to party like there was no tomorrow, though Kurt hadn't even touched the plastic cup of warm alcohol clutched loosely in one hand.

"Can't hold your liquor?" one party-goer had asked him extremely loudly not long after they had arrived, looking at his full cup. "Or are you the designated driver?" Kurt had mumbled something in the affirmative, and the young man had rushed off to join in the drunken dancing of a few of the other partiers. Ryan was one of them, having a blast after Kurt had told him to go and enjoy himself. Just because Kurt wasn't overly fond of parties didn't mean that Ryan couldn't have a good time.

Ryan weaved his way out of the crowded living room and back to Kurt after someone turned on a slow song. His clothes were mussed and his face sweaty, his breath coming in short bursts. He took a seat next to Kurt in the breakfast nook, his eyes sweeping Kurt's face quickly. "Are you okay?" he asked him seriously, his voice straining to be heard over the music even though it had calmed down a little when the slow song started. He reached out a hand to brush Kurt's hair off his forehead and smiled. Even that simple gesture had Kurt reeling, wishing that they were somewhere more private.

"I'm fine," Kurt said, putting down his beer and pushing it away from him, "I just don't like crowds much." Ryan frowned, and glanced at the crowded house. When he looked back at Kurt, his eyes held a look of concern.

"Are you feeling claustrophobic? Because we can leave, if you want; Kyle won't mind if we duck out early."

"That's sweet, but I don't want to take you away from your friends..." Kurt was surprised at how shy he seemed to be around Ryan all the time. His usual bitchiness seemed subdued around the handsome blond. Perhaps it was his nerves that were doing it.

Ryan frowned. "I've had my dancing-fix. C'mon, let's get out of here," he said, taking Kurt's hand and standing up. They abandoned the nook and meandered through the crowd, Ryan pushing drunken Juilliard students out of his way and gently pulling Kurt behind him. They left the apartment and got into Ryan's car, a shiny black Cadillac that had been a late graduation present from his parents. Ryan insisted Kurt drive them back to campus as had been drinking and wouldn't even touch his keys, even if he still felt completely sober.

They drove in a comfortable silence, the lights and the noise of New York fading into the background. Ryan turned on the radio, but kept the music to a low hum; both of their ears were strained from listening to the music at Kyle's apartment. After the short drive, Kurt parked carefully just outside of the residence building and handed Ryan's keys back to him. They didn't exchange any words as they crossed the expanse of lawn together, their fingers intertwined.

When they reached Kurt's dorm room, there was a certain air of anticipation. Ryan let go of Kurt's hand and instead reached up to cup Kurt's chin, his thumb brushing across his cheek softly. "I'm sorry you didn't have a good time tonight," he mumbled, looking into Kurt's eyes and blushing slightly. "I thought you'd like going out and stuff."

When Kurt thought about his first two weeks of seeing Ryan regularly, he would smile fondly and remember times like these. Their outings began to be more frequent and more intimate after their shopping trip, the pair often meeting up to practice for Ryan's upcoming open-house performance or just to sit over a cup of coffee and talk. Ryan was always the gentleman, and even asked for Kurt's permission to kiss him goodnight when they returned to campus after Kyle's party.

When Kurt's answer was, "Absolutely," Ryan leaned down and lightly brushed his lips to Kurt's. It was a moment that was just so sweet and genuine that neither wanted it to end, the pleasant peacefulness it brought begging to be savoured. There was no hurry, no passion; it was just a simple, chaste kiss that left both boys breathless when they pulled away.

There was no name for this moment, no label on their relationship that defined what exactly they were; and both boys were surprisingly okay with that arrangement. They said their goodbyes quietly, neither really wanting to leave the other's company, but knowing that it was too late to visit their favourite coffee shop together.

Kurt fell asleep quickly after changing into his pyjamas, his mind wandering to a certain blue-eyed young man with a gentle touch and soft lips. His cheek still tingled where Ryan's thumb had caressed it, and Kurt thought he must be going crazy because of how nice this felt, how right. Life was perfect.


Lillian, who was still avoiding Ryan like the plague outside of their one class together, was the first to notice the shift in their relationship from platonic to romantic— Ryan came to class smiling the next day, a special new glint in his eyes. She felt instantly jealous over the individual who was causing Ryan his happiness, and vowed to sabotage the relationship and convince Ryan that he wasn't gay, per se; he just needed the right woman to make him happy. (And that she was that woman, of course.)

Kurt and Ryan were blissfully unaware of this plot, opting to ignore most of the world around them and focus on nothing else but their schoolwork and each other.

"Was I sharp on the second verse?"

"A little," Kurt concluded that sunny afternoon, a little awed by how the light from the open window was lighting up Ryan's face. "But you've pretty much got it except for that part." Ryan grinned.

"I should hope so. The open-house is next week!"

"You'll be fine," Kurt assured him, trying to ease the sudden look of worry that had etched itself into Ryan's features. "You've practically got it already. You'll be perfect by the open-house."

Ryan removed his hat, a white and blue striped newsboy, and rung it loosely in his hands. "My parents have decided to postpone their trip to the Bahamas to come see me perform," he announced almost sullenly, his gaze focussed on the hat in his hands. Kurt didn't know what to say. Ryan rarely mentioned his family.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" he asked after a moment, watching Ryan's actions anxiously.

"Good, I mean... I guess it means they love me, right? So it can't be a bad thing..." He paused, putting his hat back on and putting his hands together in his lap. "But my dad hasn't been to see me perform in ages, and I guess I'm just... nervous." He sighed, lamely tapping a few keys on the piano in a nonsensical tune. "And I haven't seen any of my family in a while, which is weird, you know? I've had a twin for the first eighteen years of my life, and now suddenly we've been separated for college— and it kind of just hit me how much I miss home."

Kurt stared at him, his mouth open slightly. "You have a twin?" he asked, his eyes wide. Ryan had forgotten to mention that fact. "There's another guy out there who looks just like you?" Kurt couldn't fathom there being more than one of Ryan. He was just so special, it seemed almost wrong for there to be someone else who was just like him.

Ryan chuckled at the astonished look of Kurt's face. "Not exactly. My sister and I are fraternal twins— I told you about Sharpay, remember?"

Kurt remembered her being mentioned maybe once in the weeks that they'd known each other. "Vaguely," he said, his eyes locked on Ryan's. "I bet she's not anywhere near as awesome as you are, though." He blushed. "I mean—" Ryan laughed at his floundering.

"She's the better singer of us, but I can dance circles around her." He put and arm around Kurt's shoulder, his worry gone for the moment. "If I can hit that note, though, I'm sure it'll impress her."

"Then we'd better get practicing!" Kurt decided, his fingers finding the now-familiar notes and his voice easily slipping into the lyrics of Ryan's female partner. They practiced for a while longer, until their voices were tired and their eyes drooping. But Ryan had hit the note he was supposed to, and that had been their goal.

"Want to go for coffee?" Ryan suggested, a brilliant white smile on his face. Kurt nodded eagerly, and they set off toward Mocha Rocha, their favourite coffee shop, together.


Her eyes burned into the backs of their heads as they sat at the counter, drinking sugary lattés and laughing together. Her heart was beating so hard it might just pop out of her chest, and her gaze was filled with such malice one might wonder why Ryan's hat had yet to be set on fire by it. Her low-fat mochachino sat untouched on the table in front of her, her appetite gone after seeing them together. How dare they do such despicable thing like holding hands in public? It made her feel sick to her stomach.

"He'll come around," she quietly assured herself, slowly tearing a napkin into tiny pieces. "He just needs a little coaxing, that's all." Her eyes were wild as she gaze fixed on Ryan's face, his eyes smiling as he told Kurt something she couldn't hear. Kurt laughed and touched Ryan's shoulder. Lillian almost threw her drink at him, but resisted. She couldn't go and make a scene, or else Ryan might hate her. And she couldn't have that, now could she?