Hey guys!

Are you still with me?

First of all let me appologize for that infinitely long delay. I´m so sorry I couldn´t update earlier. There were some really crazy things going on in my life and there was a tragic incident in my family that almost made me stop writing alltogether. But now finally I am back. And I am back with the longest chapter ever (approx. 24 k words^^).

I really hope some of those scenes included will make up for that awefully long wait.

I won´t bother you with any stupid blabla this time.

Here´s the next chap.

Now just read;)

And oh yes...

Please enjoy.


(Vitaliy Zavadskyy - Biutiful Soundtrack)

CHAPTER X: ENDLESS SKIES

Hearts are wild creatures.

Untameable.

Savage.

That´s why our ribs are cages.

- Elalusz (altered)


They got back to an early autumn morning, the air brisk and the sky cloudy.

To a cool autumn breeze softly blowing in the waist high culms of grass.

To the first autumn dew, glistening on the dying leaves of some nearby trees.

Back to the Archylte Steppe.

Back to the small hunter´s village.

Back again to where everything had started.

Where everything had once begun.

To Lightning it was torture.

Hadn´t she decided to leave this place behind once and forever barely longer than a week ago?

Hadn´t she glimpsed back at that place from one of the Steppe´s gentle slopes with the parting glance of a silent good bye?

Hadn´t she been planning to never, ever, under any circumstances, return again?

She had...

And now she was here.

Was right here again.

Was passing the huge wooden gates once more.

Was walking down the main road and past those many tiny huts, sitting in exactly the same position she had left them, watching her as if their dark wooden fronts had eyes.

Was studying the main building rising up in front of her. Looking exactly the same way as when she had last seen it. With it´s huge wooden platform and it´s dark dingy windows.

Standing there in exactly the same place.

Staring back at her completely unaffected.

As if nothing had happened.

As if nothing had changed.

Ignorant to the way her world had just crumbled, had just been turned upside down.

And it was as if walking in a daze, that almost automatically, the pink haired warrior took down one of those less trodden paths that led away to the more secluded parts of the settlement and down to that hut she knew so well, had shared with her companion´s sister for all those previous weeks, those months.

And although everything looked exactly like it had before, although everything in the village was still exactly like she´d left it, to her, suddenly nothing was the same anymore.

Nothing seemed to be in order anymore.

That place once a safe haven for her, a place of peace, of relaxation...

Suddenly it just felt dreary and bleak.

Empty.

Although full of people.

Dead.

Although so full of life.

Dead.

Just like Serah.

And Snow.

And Hope and Sazh and Dajh and Fang and Vanille.

Dead.

They were all dead...

All gone...

Sure, they weren´t even born yet.

Not in this time at least.

Lightning knew that much of course.

The thing was just...

They weren´t alive either.

And what difference was there technically?

In a world like this...

She was alone.

Wasn´t she?

They all were.

They were born alone, and they died alone.

And surely everything they did there...

In between...

The journey...

Their path...

They walked it alone either...

„Lightning?"

It was Caius´ voice.

It somehow sounded as if from far away, muffled, as if he were talking to her from the other side of a thick heavy veil.

She had almost forgotten he was there.

Well, she actually had.

„Are you sure you want to be alone right now?" the guardian asked, his low calming voice dripping with concern, as coming to a halt next to her, he extended one of his hands to gently touch her arm.

„I can stay with you if you want me to..."

Looking up to meet his eyes, Lightning realised they had reached the battered old front door that would lead her into Cara Ballad´s hut.

Already.

She hadn´t even noticed they had walked that far.

„No... Thank you." She managed in a raspy voice.

Her throat was dry and her vocal cords still hoarse from crying.

Hours of crying, actually.

„I´ll be alright." She added somewhat reassuringly.

Worried amethyst eyes carefully scanning her face, her features, taking in every inch of her again carefully controlled expression, the pink haired warrior knew her companion wasn´t eager to let her go inside alone.

She wasn´t sure she wanted him to leave her either...

But well.

She needed time to think.

Time to be alone.

Some time to herself.

The purple haired hunter only hesitantly letting go from her arm, she knew he didn´t like it.

The thought of leaving her side even for one single tiny minute.

Not after everything that he had seen.

Not after he had seen her weakness.

Not after he had seen her break.

But Caius Ballad did respect her wishes.

And somehow the once fierce ex-soldier was thankful for that.


Emotions are supposed to be raw.

Ugly.

Brutal.

You don´t want someone to ´sorta´ love you.

You want that love to be a raging fire.

- Origin Unknown


The sun was standing low and there were scattered rays of sunlight twinkling through the cracked dirty glass of Cara´s backroom window.

It was a nice sunny afternoon. One of those last warm days reminding of the summer, with the usual autum breeze taking a time out and a clear blue sky watching from above instead of that blanket of thick dark clouds the inhabitants of the small hunter´s village had already gotten themselves used to over those past few weeks. But instead of enjoying the last few warm days before the winter like the others, Etro´s fallen champion was still inside, sitting on her bunk and facing the wooden boards that made the opposite wall.

The withering leaves of the trees outside throwing dancing shadows on the blank dark wood, it was almost completely motionless that she wached the silent spectacle of light.

No...

She certainly had no intention of going outside.

No intention of seeing other people, of being in a crowd.

No intention of leaving the peaceful silence of that small crammed room.

No...

She had successfully locked herself away from the world outside behind that heavy wooden door that seperated Cara´s backroom from the rest of the nurse´s hut.

The world outside...

She just didn´t want to be part of it anymore.

Didn´t belong into it anymore.

Had no place in it anymore.

Was now redundant in this world she so carelessly had sentenced to death.

Whose death warrant she had signed the day she had failed to defeat Caius Ballad back there in the timeless realms.

And now that finally she knew the truth, had finally accepted it, and everyting that truth implied, suddenly Etro´s fallen champion wanted nothing more than to just fade, to just melt away, to disappear into nothingness.

Just like she had done there in the void beyond.

Yes...

There was nothing out there for her on the other side of that blasted door anymore.

Nothing.

Only pain.

Her gaze trailing back to her lap where she had that mysterious six shooter she had somehow come to carry on her when she was born into this godforsaken place glasped in her tiny pale hands, Lightning couldn´t help but sigh.

The fingers of her right hand tracing the shiny surface of the cool polished barrel, wandering upwards to carefully open the cylinder to check the chambers, her movements, they were steady, calm, precise.

There was only one bullet left inside.

Only one...

One bullet.

Turning the revolver muzzle-up, she let the single bullet drop into her waiting palm, before turning it over between the tips of her fingers, she brought it up, inspecting it from every angle.

That piece of lead...

She couldn´t help but think it had her name on it.

Her purpose here was served...

She was no longer needed.

There was nothing she could do anymore.

Nothing she could change.

The only thing she´d do by staying here was creating even more Chaos...

Making the world die faster.

A little faster every day...

With every single beat of her heart.

With every tiny twitch of her eyelids.

Was this last bullet meant for her?

Carefully putting the tiny deadly piece of metal back into it´s rightful place, she carefully closed the cylinder and making sure it was properly aligned with the barrel, she slowly cocked the hammer.

Maybe she should just end it.

Every breath she took here would only serve to prolong her suffering...

Would only serve to feed the Chaos.

Those self destructive thoughts chasing themselves inside her head, pensively turning the gun over and over in her hands, the pink haired female had a hard time contemplating what to do, had a hard time formulating even a single clear thought.

The pain...

Maybe it was just too much...

Too much to bear...

After everything she had been going through...

Maybe she just couldn´t bear it anymore.

Or maybe she just didn´t want to.

Didn´t want to fight there any longer.

Yes maybe it was just that...

And it was with her eyes fluttering shut that she brought the gun up to her head.

Just to try the feeling...

Constants and variables.

Could she do it?

Could she really do it?

Would she be able to just end her life?

Right here?

Right now?

The feeling of the deadly weapon´s muzzle pressing against the side of her head, the end of the six shooter´s barrel against the soft skin of her skull, it felt hard and final.

Cool.

But reassuring.

She had made so many mistakes...

Had taken the wrong turns, had made the wrong decisions.

Looking back at her life now she realised there were so many.

So many things she had done wrong.

So many of them...

Maybe, finally, this was the right thing to do.

Maybe, if she just put her finger on that fucking trigger...

She was ripped out of her miserable thoughts by a sudden knock on the door.

„Lightning?"

It was Caius Ballad´s voice.

Shit.

The pink haired warrior looking up with a start, she let the ancient gun drop back into her lap almost instantly.

What was HE doing here?

Why did he have to come here in the first place?!

Why now?

She didn´t need him there, didn´t need anybody.

Not ever and certainly not now.

And it was holding her breath that silently she waited for her companion´s next move, praying for him to just turn around and leave, as closing her eyes tightly, she wished the annoying male away.

She wasn´t going to be lucky this time though.

There were a few moments of silence, before carefully he tried again.

„Light?" she heard his voice again, reaching out to her from the other side of the door, his tone now soft and full of concern.

Please just leave...

It took only a few more seconds before the door was slowly opened with an ancient sounding creak and the tall slender frame of the man who would become the seeress´guardian appeared in the dimly lit doorway.

There was no sign of any kind of greeting whatsoever coming from her side.

No indication that actually she even acknowledged his presence, as her gaze clued to the floor, the pink haired soldier watched the approaching hunter´s feet from the topmost corner of her eyes.

She didn´t even bother to look up at his face, missed the way his amethyst eyes scanned her lost expression, worried, then aghast, as slowly he allowed them to take in the scene.

„Hey..." the guardian to be started carefully, his eyes darting down to the weapon in her lap, then back to look into her face again.

„How are you?"

A futile attempt at starting a conversation, he knew.

It didn´t matter.

He needed to try anyway.

Etro´s fallen champion, she just continued staring at the floor apathetically in response.

Caius hadn´t exactly expected anything else.

She´d been like this for almost three days now.

Hadn´t come out of her room.

Hadn´t talked to anybody.

Shit, she probably hadn´t even eaten anything...

He wasn´t sure.

He shouldn´t have left her out of his sight...

He understood that now.

Shouldn´t have left her here all on her own.

Yes, of course she wanted it.

Had asked for it.

But still.

He shouldn´t have complied.

Sadly enough it had taken him finding her hiding away in her room playing around with that gun loaded in her lap to grasp that fact.

What had she been planning to do with that thing anyway?!

„Here … I brought you some lunch." he offered after another few moments of silence.

There was movement and the sound of a wodden tray carrying a plate with food and a jug of water being set down on the bedside table.

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t bother to even glimpse at it.

No way was she going to eat.

No. Fucking. Way.

She wasn´t going to get anything down anyway.

„Come on. Have some." the guardian to be encouraged though, leaning down to pour some water into a glass for her.

But the devastated female next to him, she didn´t answer, didn´t show the slightest inclination to move even her little finger.

Following her empty stare, Caius Ballad´s eyes trailed down to the revolver, innocently sitting in her lap again.

There was a long drawn sigh and a certain purple haired man shaking his head, before carefully approaching the woman sitting on the bed, he silently made to crouch down right in front of her.

That gun of her´s...

Carefully reaching out to disentangle it from his companion´s small cool fingers, the fact that for some strange reason the weapon had been brought to full cock, it didn´t escape the attentive hunter´s notice.

Wait...

What had she been doing in here exactly?!

What had she cocked that revolver for?!

If Caius Ballad knew what kind of thoughts had been running through that pretty head of her´s only seconds before he had knocked on the door to her room...

Well, the pink haired time traveller would probably never have heard the end of it.

His forehead wrinkled in confusion, Caius Ballad didn´t waste much time with thinking, but carefully taking the gun away he put it on the bedside table where it savely rested next to the food tray, before slowly he turned back to the woman sitting there in front of him.

That woman that had so unexpectedly stepped into his life...

That woman that had so suddenly turned his whole world upside down...

Somehow he´d never understand what was going on behind those pools of icy blue, what was going on inside her mind...

Or would he?

There were a few minutes spent in silence where he just sat there in front of her doing nothing besides breathing and looking at her, studying her pretty features, now completely expressionless...

Trying to look into those haunted pale blue eyes, puffy now from crying...

Those dark circles underneath said eyes telling him she wasn´t getting any sleep...

Not enough at least.

Those rosy lips once soft and so utterly kissable, now chapped and dry, the small breaths she took from the tiny gap between them, they where ragged and shallow.

Yes.

Claire Farron really was a mess.

Seeing her in this condition, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but feel his heart ache.

What had happened to the once so fearless warrior?

What had happened there, back at Paddra, back at the temple of the seeress?

How could the words of a single little girl have such an impact on a woman once so determined, so tough, as she had been?

How could a few stupid words just break her, break someone as strong as her?

Break her.

Just like that.

Caius Ballad didn´t understand.

He couldn´t.

Couldn´t even fathom.

Leaning closer to the girl in front of him, he carefully brought up his hands before moving in to gently cup her cheeks he slowly made to push some of those stray pinkish strands out of her face to savely tuck them behind her ears.

„I know you´re hurting..." he started carefully, his voice soft, gentle, soothing. The hand that had been occupied with her hair finding it´s way back to her face, mirroring the other he let it come to rest at her other cheek.

It finally made her lift her gaze to slowly, cautiously look up into his eyes.

„I know..." the guardian affirmed, worried amethyst eyes boring into pale pained blue ones.

The pink haired warrior in front of him, she had no clue on what to think, to say, to feel...

No idea on what to do.

There where just those eyes...

Those deep dark pools of mesmerizing purple...

How come that all that time she had been forced to spent with him there in Valhalla, she hadn´t bothered to properly look at them, had failed to glimpse their beauty?

How?

How had she even been able to fight this man, to step into his way?

How had she been able to defy him?

How was she supposed to do so now...

With the rest of the world suddenly drifting to the background, Etro´s fallen champion completely lost in thought, she allowed herself to drown in them just for a little longer.

It was the guardian´s voice that made her snap back to reality.

„But Lightning, please..." the man in front of her insisted almost pleadingly.

„You´ve got to eat something!"

The mouthwatering scent of freshly roasted meat wafting over from the food tray on the bed side table, the timetraveller´s stomach giving a desperate hungry growl, begging her to finally get herself something to eat, Lightning suddenly realised that she was starving.

Had been starving now for days...

When had been the last time she had properly eaten again?

She couldn´t even remember anymore.

The concerned male in front of her giving her a pleading look, he unceremoniously pushed the plate into her lap, forced fork and knife into her open palms.

„Please Lightning... Just eat. Okay?" he added somewhat imploringly.

The slender female sitting on her bunk, she only presented the man in front of her with an incredulous stare.

What would he do next?

Start feeding her tiny spoonfulls?

It was ridiculous...

„Don´t make me force you." the guardian warned as he watched the stubborn female take a tentative first bite.

Deciding it would do no good to defy him this time, Etro´s fallen champion deciding to for once heed his advice, she just complied.

Although she had no idea how he was going to implement his threat, she had a feeling she´d rather not find out.

Not today...

Slowly chewing on her piece of well done meet, the pink haired time traveller´s body thankful for every tiny bite she swallowed, relieved to finally receive some food, Lightning couldn´t resist the impuls to reach out for the next load eagerly.

That piece of roasted deer, garnished with what had to be the last fresh vegetables of the season, although she had eaten that same dish so many times since she had gotten here, although she had been planning not to eat at all, now that finally she had tried it, she couldn´t help but admit it tasted delishiously, could´t find it in her to stop.

Caius Ballad didn´t interfere.

He just sat there on the floor in front of her, wordlessly waited until she was done, until the dark brown wooden plate was cleared and she had even the tiniest crumbs picked up with the tips of her delicate slender fingers.

It took her a surprisingly short time actually.

It was the second she laid down her fork that he got up to take away her plate and placed it on the bedside table to then hand her that glass of water he had poured for her before.

She accepted it without resistance, downed it in a few fast thirsty gulps, before handing it back to her purple haired companion, she couldn´t help but give a tiny content sigh.

Now that she had been fed and watered, suddenly she felt so infinitely better.

How come she hadn´t realised she´d been that hungry...

The purple haired guardian studying his companion´s features carefully, he slowly made to get up, before picking up the tray again, he made his way back into the front room.

Etro´s fallen champion, her hands now neatly folded in her lap, she couldn´t help but wonder, as pensively she watched his retreating back.

Why was Caius Ballad doing this?

Why was he watching out for her?

Why did he care so much?

What could happen in a thousand years that would turn this man so nice to her into her mortal enemy? That would make him her nemesis, and brand her as his target?

What would make him want to hurt her, even kill her...

It couldn´t all be just because of Yeul, or could it?

Would he really want to kill her, kill all those million people, just for the sake of a tiny little girl?

Somehow it felt hard to believe.

No, not him.

Not that man who had just made her eat what felt like only seconds ago.

No way.

It couldn´t be.

Or could it?

Somehow Lightning wasn´t even sure she wanted to find out.

Well, there certainly was no use thinking about it now.

For this reason or another...

It would happen anyway...

Hearing the clinking sound of dishes being washed in the large bucket of water Cara always had set up somewhere in the front room, using it as some kind of a sink, it didn´t take long until the subject of her musings returned to join her in her room.

The sight of his companion still sitting in the exact same position as he had left her, giving him something to think about, Caius Ballad caught the stubborn female eying that still cocked gun on the nightstand again.

The way her eyes trailed it´s barrel from the muzzle to the trigger, contemplatively, almost longingly, silently watching from a few feet away, Caius Ballad knew it was no use.

Whatever she´d been planning to do with it, it certainly hadn´t been anything good.

Oh, how much he wished the blasted thing away.

Wished she had never found it, never brought it in the first place.

The only thing it would ever cause was pain.

Death and pain.

The fallen champion´s eyes stopping somewhere at the weapon´s trigger, she listlessly reached out to touch it´s steely cool surface.

Serah...

Oh how much she missed Serah...

How much she missed all of them...

What would happen once she died?

Would she just be swept away in another whirl of Chaos, ready to be born anew?

Ready to face her fate once more?

Would she just be born in that world up in the sky a thousand years into the future with not even the glimpse of a memory of what had happened since she got here, of what was going to happen in her adult life?

Wouldn´t it be nice to just start anew.

To make the same mistakes, the same experiences.

To just live her life without the shadows of the truth lurking there somewhere at the back of her head, waiting to jump on her whenever she dared not to control her thoughts?

There hadn´t only been bad times then, had there?

There had been good ones too.

Somewhere, burried deep under the debries of her broken heart, there they still were.

All those happy memories.

All those sunny afternoons spent with her sister and her mother and her father, down at the sandy beaches of Bodhum.

Back when she had still been a kid.

Back when everything had still been alright.

Yes. They were still there.

Waiting for her, ready to be pulled out again.

If only she dug deep enough.

And surely, if what Yeul had said was true, she´d be ready to live through them again.

To be there again...

If only she had the courage to just pull that fucking trigger.

The index finger of her right hand caressing the weapon´s mentioned part, it was after about another minute of quiet staring that suddenly she felt the gentle touch of Caius´ fingers on her forearm, making her look up at him.

„Come on. Let´s go outside." He said.

It wasn´t a question.

She knew.

Staring down into her tortured pale blue eyes, Caius Ballad didn´t wait for her to fabricate some kind of answer, but just grabbed her hand and pulled her up instead.

„You´ve been sitting inside here long enough." he insisted, as ignorant to his companion´s silent protests, he unceremoniously dragged her back outside.


And in the end we´re all just humans.

Drunk on the idea that love,

and only love,

could heal our brokenness.

- Christopher Poindexter


„Where are we going?"

Following the motivated male back towards the main building and then to the other side of the village, taking down yet another of those well trodden paths, Lightning had a hard time keeping up with him.

What was he planning for them this time?

Oh, she was so not in the mood for one of his stupidly running around sessions.

She. So. Wasn´t.

If he had anything like this in mind, he could very well go on his own, thank you very much.

„My place." came the promt response.

„Huh?"

The unexpected answer taking the pink haired female by surprise, it made her stop dead in her tracks and stare at the man walking in front of her in what could only be discribed as a completely perplexed manner.

What the hell were they supposed to be doing at his place?!

„I gotta go and fetch something." the guardian offered as some kind of explanation.

It made the pink haired woman shake her head in irritation.

„Oh... Uhm... Okay." was all she managed to get out.

Etro´s fallen champion just following in silence, it didn´t take long for the two of them to reach their destination.

Passing yet another set of those ordinary wooden shacks, the dark clad hunter finally stopped in front of an unimpressive small one.

The window in the front was broken and the wooden boards neglected, brittle, starting to come apart already, but there was a welcoming tiny porch with a cozy looking seating arrangement and a tiny fire place in front of it to make up for the uninviting first glance.

Walking up the two small steps to reach the front door, Lightning couldn´t help but risk a glimpse inside as the man in front of her slowly pulled it open to instanly go for a large dark cupboard leaning against the opposite wall, where he started rummaging inside it´s many drawers at once.

He had the room crossed in only a few fast strides.

Etro´s fallen champion, she gave the purple haired man a few moments before hesitantly she made to go inside.

Yes.

There was only a single room.

And it was very simple.

A bed.

A cupboard.

A small assortment of weapons and other hunting utensils spread on a tiny wooden table...

Taking a look around, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the semi darkness of the room, letting them glide over the guardian to be´s few personal belongings, Lightning couldn´t help but feel she instantly liked everything she saw.

There was a fluffy blanket made of sheepwhool draped over the cozy looking bed and what seemed to be a dark thick buffalo hide spread out on the floor to serve as some kind of carpet. And the wooden chair there, leaning in a corner with one of it´s legs broken from whatever incident had caused this misfortune to happen, there was one of Caius´ dark cotton shirts resting on it´s backrest.

Yes the interior was very basic.

Simple...

The complete opposite of Caius...

The probably most complex character she had ever met in her entire life.

„So this is where you live, huh?" the pink haired female stated somewhat dreamily, as letting her eyes flit around the room, she made the purple haired man look up from searching his belongings for whatever it was he was actually searching for almost immediately.

„It isn´t much, I know..." he replied somewhat shyly, quickly averting his gaze again the second that he met her eyes. Yes, he was aware his accommodations were by no means something to be proud of, was aware she was probably used to so much better.

„I think it´s great..." the pink haired woman replied reassuringly.

The guardian to be, he only grimaced, before giving a nonchalant shrug, he went back to rummaging through the cupboard until finally, from the dephts of one of it´s many drawers, he retrieved a battered looking wicker basket.

Making her way over to the last free wall in the meantime, Etro´s fallen champion let her eyes glide over the contents of an old dusty shelf, leaning against the wooden boards as if it was about to crumble any second.

She was curious.

What would a man like Caius Ballad bring back home to put there on display?

Leaning a little closer, there wasn´t exactly much to see.

A Behemoth´s claw.

A piece of flint.

A weird shaped stone...

Her gaze getting caught by something refletive, something solid, seethrough, almost as if made of glass, no crystal...

That object attracting her attention, the soft rays of the sunlight making their way through the open door reflecting on it´s shiny surface, the way it sat there merrely twinkling back at her, it suddenly seemed strangely familiar.

„Come on, lets go." the guardian said, as passing by her slightly bent down form, he headed for the exit.

The pink haired warrior though, she didn´t move, didn´t even move one inch.

Completely mesmerized by the way the sunlight got refracted by the shiny surface´s many prisms, braking it up into million different colours, Etro´s former champion, she couldn´t bring herself to look away.

Yes.

It was crystal.

Undoubtedly crystal.

Sitting there on this rocky old shelf, if it weren´t for it´s random shardlike shape, that piece of crystal, it would have looked exactly like the tiny crystal tear, Serah had given to Snow just after she had been transformed.

What was it doing here waiting on a shelf right inside Caius Ballad´s hut?

The patient male stopping somewhere in the doorway, turning around to wait for his pink haired companion to finally tear herself away from staring at his things, Lightning couldn´t help but stay behind completely mesmerized.

„Caius... What is this?" she asked somewhat tentatively.

It was a stupid question to ask of course.

She knew exactly what it was.

But how did it get here?

Lightning didn´t know.

The purple haired guardian walking back inside, coming to stand there right behind her, he carefully reached out to take it in his hands and show her.

„It´s a crystal shard." He explained, holding the mysterious object up for her to see between his thumb and index finger.

There was the familiar note of nostalgia creeping into his slightly husky voice.

„It was my mother´s." he continued.

„She gave it just a second after she completed her focus and was turned to crystal..."

The pink haired warrior, she only gave him a quizzial look.

„Your parents were L´Cie?! I thought they died..." she whispered somewhat pensively.

Yes.

Caius had definitely told her they had died.

Back then at Imani´s wedding.

She remembered it.

Remembered it as if it were only yesterday.

„They did." was his cryptic response.

Curious blue eyes searching his amethyst sad one´s, Caius Ballad instantly averted his gaze again.

„Their crystals where destroyed the second they transformed." he added, carefully putting the piece of crystal back to it´s place where it had rested on the shelf before.

The pink haired warrior, she didn´t miss the saddened untertone leaking into her companion´s steady voice.

„I thought crystal was indestructable..." she admitted softly, as shyly looking up at her companion´s face she made to check on his carefully composed features.

„Appearently it isn´t." he just stated dryly.

The words tasting bitter on his tongue, Caius Ballad gave a small pained sigh, before offering a small sad smile, he just turned and made to walk back outside.

Remaining inside for a second longer, Etro´s fallen champion, she gave the shard another look.

Sure.

It was possible.

Crystal could be destroyed.

Hadn´t she seen it?

Hadn´t she seen it up there from her place in Valhalla?

How the crystal pillar Fang and Vanille had sacrificed themselves to create had crumbled, one piece after the other, a tiny little bit every single day...

That crystal shard...

That piece of Caius Ballad´s mother...

Sitting there on the topmost shelf of the dark clad hunter´s room, it reflected the light entering through the wodden door, reflected it in many brilliant clours.

Reflected it exacly the way Serah´s tear had.

Serah...

Oh, what had she done?

What had she done to deserve this?!

„Come on. Let´s just get going." the attentive male called over from the porch outside, his voice indicating that slowly he was loosing his patience.

She didn´t let him tell her twice.

There was no need to dwell there any longer.


There was a bit of silence.

The pink haired warrior following her male companion´s lead, she wordlessly took down the small path he created walking through the knee high grass growing right behind his hut.

The usually cheerful hunter now suddenly gloomy and pensive, no matter how hard she tried to rack her brain, Lightning couldn´t think of any way to lift the mood..

Why did she have to ask him about that stupid crystal shard?

Reminding the man of his parent´s tragic deaths, it might not have been the best way to repay him for his gentle care.

Maybe she shouldn´t have brought it up at all...

No...

Seeing Caius Ballad sad, it definitely wasn´t something she was hoping to get used to.

Making their way down a gentle slope and back into the wilderness, the glorious play of colours of the nearby tree´s leaves and the sound of closeby flowing water mixed with the happy chirps of birds, soothing to their aching souls, it was breathing in the fresh cool air carried over to them by a gentle breeze, that seemed to lift a weight from them, carrying their worries away with it´s pleasant draught and scattering them into all directions of the winds.

„Where are we going anyway?" the pink haired female asked after what felt like almost half an hour of walking there in complete silence.

„Where do you wanna go?" was the guardian´s prompt counter question, as he turned around to look at her, he curiously quirked an eyebrow.

Where did she want to go...

It was easy really.

The easiest question to answer yet.

The pink haired woman coming to a halt only a few steps away from him, she couldn´t bear to look into his eyes as she felt those words there leave her lips.

„Home..." she breathed, her voice barely a whisper.

She still couldn´t grasp it.

The fact that she wasn´t going to return.

That she was never going to see her family again.

Never going to see her friends again.

Ever...

It was the tickle of the guardians fingers on the sensitive skin of her jawline that made her look up into his eyes again.

„Maybe you are already there..."

Those deep dark pools of purple darting all over her face and down to her pinkish lips, although he was so damn close again, this time Lightning didn´t even feel the urge to pull away.

Could he be right?

Could this godforsaken place, lost in a long forgotten past, really become something even remotely like a home to her?

Could she just stay here, somehow settle in in that small hunter´s village?

With Cara and Caine and Caius?

Caius...

„I thought we´d get ourselves some fish..." the tall man in front of her admitted, as slowly he let his hand drop back to his side.

„Fish?" the timetraveller uttered sceptically, giving him one of her incredulous stares again.

„Yeah... Fish." her purple haired companion replied somewhat mockingly, as he took in the warrior´s befuddled look.

„Don´t you like fish?"

The pink haired female, she just shrugged her shoulders.

„Sure..." she replied stupidly.

She couldn´t believe it.

Had he really dragged her all the way out here to go and get some fish?

Maybe she really should have stayed inside...

„I thought we could bring them down to the market. You know change them in for something else..." the guardian suggested, in hope to lift her mood.

Another „Sure..." was all the answer that he got.

Oh dear...

Was she going to be like this all day?!

No way...

He wouldn´t have it.

„Oh come on... Don´t do this." he told the sulky woman somewhat pleadingly, as turning around to look at her again, he stopped to safely set his wicker basket somewhere on the ground.

„Do what?" she retorted angrily.

„Pull that grumpy face on me all day..." the guardian contered knowingly as slightly cocking his head to the side, he allowed a small mocking grin to spread upon his lips.

„I´m not grumpy..." the woman said defiantly, her eyes narrowing dangerously at that stupid male so insolently smiling now.

„Sure..." the hunter teased.

That smile of his intensified.

The once fierce ex soldier only gave him one of her venomous glares.

They seemed to have become a speciality of her´s already.

„Proof it." the man just said, staring into those irritated icy eyes.

Her gaze darting to the ground, the guardian´s female companion, she only had time for a small frustrated snort before suddenly she felt the irritating male´s hands at her sides, as taking a step closer, he came to a halt directly in front of her.

It made her gaze snap back up to his face in the bat of an eyelid.

They where close now...

So very close.

Their chests only an inch apart, Lightning felt the dark cotton fabric of her companion´s shirt softly brush against her washed out brown one with every tiny breath she took.

It still felt strange...

To be so close to him...

So close to the man she knew would one day become her enemy...

Would one day become her coldblooded killer.

Strange...

But somehow nice and soothing all the same.

Wait, since when did she allow that man to come that close to her?!

„You still look grumpy." the guardian informed, his beautiful amethyst eyes smiling down at her as he gave her sides a gentle reassuring squeeze.

She only gave him an angry scowl in return.

The most hostile one that she could muster...

It only caused his smirk to widen, to turn into another handsome halfsmile.

She took her time to study it, to memorize it, every tiny inch of it, to somehow try and capture it, to keep and store it somewhere in her heart for later, until suddenly feeling one of his hands drop away from her side the enigmatic male brought it up to gently brush away some of her stray pinkish strands again.

The spot his hand had rested only seconds ago now empty, she couldn´t help but miss the warmth of his touch there on one side of her upper body.

His hand now lingering somewhere at her temple instead, the stubborn pink haired woman, she fought hard to maintain her hostile scowl.

„You know you´re beautiful when you do that, right?" the guardian offered lightheartedly.

Taking in her ensuing shocked expression, for a short moment there, Caius could have sworn he made her blush.

The timetraveller´s pretty pale blue eyes giving a dangerous flash, they were the last thing he remembered, before her fist impacting with his injured shoulder, he felt his world light up in pain, making him cringe away and gasp in shock, his hand darting to his still healing wound as fighting for air he beat reatret, nearly stumbling over the basket he had dropped to the ground only a few minutes ago.

„Hey what was that for?" he managed between sharp intakes of breath, once he found his voice again.

Looking up at his companion from his slightly bent down posture, he couldn´t help but throw her a hurt reproachful stare.

„Being the insufferable jerk you are..." the inconsiderate female threw at him, as not wasting him another glance, she made to continue on their path down to the river.

„Um...thanks?!" the guardian choked out as slowly recovering from the warrior´s vicious punch, staring at his companion´s retreating back in disblieve, he carefully made to pick up the basket to finally follow to the bank below.


„Come on." the guardian encouraged about five minutes later, his voice cheerful and his mood lifted once again, as carefully he held out his hand for her to guide her down the rocky slope that lead to what was probably the clearest river Etro´s fallen champion had seen in her entire life.

The sight of the cool dark waters stretching out in front of them making him recover from that setback from before in seemingly no time at all, Caius Ballad couldn´t wait to finally get something to do.

The small stream gently winding it´s path from it´s origin somewhere in the the Yaschas Massif and throught the Vallis Media, all the way though the Archylte Steppe and past the peaceful hunter´s village, accepting her companion´s help, the pink haired warrior let herself slide down until she reached it´s rocky bank.

Her purple haired companion, busy setting his wicker basket down on the ground somewhere behind them, Lightning only watched him as he eagerly bent down to take off his shoes and started to turn up his trousers.

„Come on." he said again, squinting up at her through his long dark purple bangs, the woman next to him, she gave a small defeated sigh before hesitantly she bent down to follow his example.

„Have you ever gone out fishing before?" the guardian asked, slowly making his way into the bubbling waters of the river once he finally was done.

„No." was his companion´s brief reply.

It was true of course.

She had never bothered to try and catch a fish before.

Not in this life at least.

Why should she have bothered?

She had been provided with food by the Fal´Cie for almost her entire life...

„It´s easy really." the man now ankledeep into the waters assured her instantly.

„Don´t worry, I´ll show you how it´s done."

It was only a second later that he moved to take off his shirt, unbuttoning the first few inches of it´s front, then impatiently pulling it over his head to get rid of the clingy fabric.

The pink haired warrior standing a few feet away from him completely stunned, she could do little else but stare at the sight of those few square inches of naked skin.

Her eyes roaming her male companion´s exposed chest almost instantly, she had them dart up to that gunshot wound of his still prominently sitting on his shoulder.

Ouch...

Yeah sure...

It was getting better.

But still, it was a nasty wound to nurse.

The skin around the entrance wound still bruised and swolled, surely sensitive as hell, for a tiny moment there, Etro´s fallen champion regretted having hit him in exactly that same place just about ten minutes ago.

Maybe it had been a tiny bit too much...

He certainly hadn´t deserved it.

Any of it...

How come she always felt the pull to hurt him?

He hadn´d done her any harm ever since she had gotten here, or had he?

Was this something she had brought with her from Valhalla?

Something that had gotten some kind of strange habit, something that after fighting him for such a long time had been beaten into her head until it had become natural to her, had almost become routine for her, something that after all this time she couldn´t let go, even now that there was no need to fight, to hurt him anymore?

Her gaze still clued to the wound in her companion´s shoulder, for a brief moment there Lightning wondered how Caius had actually managed to forgive her.

How?!

She had tried to kill him.

She almost had...

She had betrayed his trust.

She had hurt him.

Had terribly injured him.

He had to have been in horrible pain.

Even now she could see that wound still hurt him.

Could see it in the way he moved.

And she couldn´t help but sense the nagging feeling of guilt, of regret there, gnawing at her insides...

Why had she done this to him again?!

The subject of her musing motioning for her to follow him into the clear cool waters, Lightning shook her head in an attempt to clear her head.

„What are you waiting for?" the guardian asked somewhat encouragingly.

„I hope it´s okay for you if I decide to leave my shirt on..." the still slightly grumpy female offered dryly.

The man in front of her just gave her an incredulous snort.

No...

There was no way she was going to undress herself in front of him.

She did make to remove her top shirt though, stripping down to the washed out borrowed tank top she wore underneath, earth coloured, like almost every piece of clothing she had come to wear here in this godforsaken place.

There...

At least she wouldn´t wet all of her precious borrowed clothes now, she thought as taking one tiny step towards the waterline, she probingly dipped her left foot´s toes inside to test the waters.

It was chilly cold.

Shit.

Looking up at her companion, standing in the knee deep water only a few feet away from her, she couldn´t help but grimace.

How could he just stand in there as if it were nothing but a pleasant cooling?!

Anyway, she wasn´t one to chicken out that easily.

And so it was gritting her teeth that she waded into the waters, the icy liquid reaching up above her knees attacking her skin like a million tiny needles, it was when she had almost reached the man patiently waiting for her to catch up with him, that she slipped there on the slimey surface of a smooth wet stone.

„Careful now!" the guardian warned, ready and there to steady her with one of his strong arms.

It wasn´t the first time that she was thankful he was there to catch her when she needed him, to hold her.

The purple haired hunter´s arm sneaking it´s way around her waist, he made sure to maintain a safe firm hold on her as he steered her over to what he thought had to be the perfect place for catching someting.

„Shit, it´s fucking cold!" the pink haired female choked out between gritted teeth, when he released her, the icy waters almost reaching up to her hips now, if it weren´t for the warm rays of the early autumn sun, surely she would have succombed to violent shivers already.

„Yeah. I know!" the guardian chuckled, gesturing at his own legs immersed in the freezing floods.

„But believe me it´s the best place for catching something. It really is." he added raising his eyebrows at her reassuringly.

The pink haired female seriously doubting his last words, she impatiently waded over to where her companion made to carefully study the icy water´s murky dephts.

„Don´t move now." he ordered, making her stop dead in her tracks with a gesture of his hand as he prepared himsef for his first catch.

„I´ll show you how it´s done."

The concentrated male, staring to the bottom of the river, his forehead creased in concentration, carefully following his gaze, Lightning found a single dark gray fish curiously gliding around the hunter´s legs.

What was he going to do?

Grab that thing with his bare hands or what?

No... Seriously?

Her pinkish eyebrows riding up her forehead, Ligthning could only watch in bewilderment as the purple haired man in front of her readyed himself for the catch, standing there in the tigh deep water slightly bent down and completely motionless, until all of a sudden, he just darted foreward and attacked.

The unsuspecting fish though, a big slimey one, it didn´t seem to be in the mood to get caught and grilled anytime soon it seemed as wriggling itself from the guardian´s grip easily, with a few strong hasty movements, it managed to escape again, splashing the completely baffled hunter with icy cold water and almost making him fall over in the process.

The pink haired female watching the spectacle from her position a safe distance away, she couldn´t help but burst with laughter.

What the fuck had just happened?

Had our incredibly talented hunter Caius Ballad really just failed in showing off some of his incredibly well mastered skills?!

Etro´s fallen warrior, suddenly shaking with laughter, unable to control it, any of it, she almost couldn´t believe her eyes.

Did that fish really just almost make him topple over?!

The purple haired hunter obviously hurt in his pride, he only gave her an accusing glare.

That face he pulled on her, it did nothing to ease her laughting fit it seemed.

„I´m sorry!" the cocky female choked, trying to supress her giggles and covering her mouth with both her hands in an attempt to try and get herself together, her eyes twinkling at him with mirth, it was no use.

With those front strands of purple hair framing her companion´s handsome features now wet and sticking to his cheeks and forhead, the reproachful look he gave her, it was only making her laugh even harder.

It was crazy really.

She couldn´t even remember when she had last had a laugh like that.

„S-Sorry..." she forced out between some bursts of laughter.

„It´s just... It´s just... `I´ll show you how it´s done...´" she managed, doing a surprisingly good job imitating the irritated hunter´s voice before involuntarily she erupted in giggles again.

It was only a second later that her laughter stopped abruptly as suddenly she found the front of her shirt, her hair, her face drenched in icy cold water as well.

„Hey! Stop that!" she snapped at the insolent male who had had the audacity to splash her too.

„I don´t talk like that!" Caius Ballad contered playfully, the sun reflecting off those tiny droplets of water, it made them shimmer like a million tiny diamonds as they made their way over his chest and down to his abdomen to vanish somewhere beneath the belt holding up his trousers.

„You do!" the pink haired female snarled, splashing water back at him.

„I don´t!" he contered, a big bright smile managing to force it´s way onto his handsome features.

She didn´t give him the opportunity to say some more before striking again, she showered the guardian to be in another fountain of freezing cold liquid.

„No... Stop it!" he pleaded, the icy water stinging like a thousand needles, it was making the poor hunter shiver and his skin errupt in goosebumps.

„Please!"

The pitiful male completely drenched in water now, Etro´s fallen champion, she showed no mercy, as splashing him again and again in a relentless assault, surely she had no intention of going easy on him any time soon.

How dare he attack her like that?!

That water, it was colder than the frost on a champagne glass...

„Hey! I said stop it!" the usually goodnatured male ordered, as finally making a move to defend himself he instinctively lunged foreward to catch both of his companion´s wrists in a strong but gentle grip, his final resort to finally try and make her stop, to try and save himself from freezing to death, or being drowned maybe.

Whatever would occur first...

The pink haired warrior completely perplexed, she instantly froze under his touch.

„You´re going to kill me." the guardian whispered, carefully lowering his hands as slowly letting go of her arms, he took a tentive step closer, just to look into her eyes, a shy happy smile making it´s way onto his now wet features.

The pink haired female, she only gave him a quizzical stare.

His now completely wettened chest only a foot from her´s, with his dark hair sticking to his face and shoulders and his lower lip slightly trembling from the cold, Lightning suddenly felt the inexplicable urge to just lean in and close the distance between their bodies.

To just be close to him.

To maybe feel his arms around her body, just like when he´d held her back there in the Yaschas Massif.

Yes.

He´d been her anchor then.

Her only shore.

Had been the one to save her from the raging tides of Chaos, lurking right inside of her, ready to drown her.

The one to protect her from her desperate thoughts.

The one to keep the pain at bay.

The one who had been there for her.

Right when she had needed him most.

Why couldn´t he just become her personal safe haven again?!

Her safe haven forever...

„If it is that easy... Why don´t you have a go yourself?" the male in front of her just broke the silence. Motioning over at the clear dephts of the icy waters, he challengingly lifted one of his eyebrows.

„I...I don´t know." The pink haired female replied sounding somewhat insecure.

Caius only gave her one of his satified smirks telling her that this was exactly the kind of answer that he had expected.

„Okay. I´ll do it." She announced without thinking, instantly wiping that stupid smug expression from her companion´s face, before arrogantly raising her nose she stalked off to find herself a calmer area of the river were spotting her first unexpecting victim, she instantly moved in for an attack.

Her fingers slipping on the fish´s polished scales, the bright red speciman, it was gone again in the blink of an eye.

Damn.

The guardian to be only watching in amusement, it took the pink haired warrior another five retries before finally she gave up.

Her last unsucessful attempt at a catch sending her tumbling into the tigh deep water face first, causing her to be completely soaked now as well, it was with the stinging feeling of shattered pride that the timetraveller looked up again.

„You are doing it all wrong." the dark haired hunter said stifling a laugh, as offering her a hand to help her up, he somehow came to stand behind her.

„Here... you need to hold your hands like this..." he adviced, moving in to readjust her arms from right behind her, he bent down to push her open hands closer together.

„Take your time... Don´t hurry."

His palms resting somewhere on the back of her slightly shaking hands to keep them in proper position, Lightning felt the touch of his chest pressing against her back, felt the gentle tickle of his breath against the back of her neck. And she couldn´t help but feel a tiny shiver making it´s way up and down her spine as she felt the touch of her companion´s chin against the soft skin of her shoulder as he chose to gently rest his head on it.

The icy waters stinging her skin, making her toes and finger´s go numb already, it was the soothing touch of her companion´s palms resting on the back of her hands, slightly warming her, that made her keep herself together.

„You´ve got to be patient." he adviced, guiding her hands in order for the opening to face the current.

And really, there, a few tiny feet upstream, was another medium sized grey fish fighting it´s way against the current.

„You need to approach it from downstreams so you can catch it from behind." the guardian explained.

His calming low voice coming from somewhere next to her ear, for a brief tiny moment there Lightning almost thought she felt the touch of his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of her neck, softly, barely there, as he so carefully instructed her.

But no...

She was imagining things again.

Or was she?

The thought of it alone was making her heart beat significantly faster in her chest.

„Okay now... On the count of three... Together."

Their hands were only inches from the poor small fish now.

But somehow Lightning had a hard time focusing on the task at hand.

„One."

The guardian´s upper body pressing into her back, with his face resting somewhere next to her head, she fought hard to not just give in to the almost overwhelming urge to just lean back and relax against his chest.

What was wrong with her today?!

She really needed to get herself together.

Bathing in those icy floods...

It was doing her no good it seemed.

„Two."

„Are you ready?"

The pink haired female only gave a small affirmative nod as excitedly holding her breath, she forced herself to focus on her poor gray prey, merrily swimming in the tigh deep waters right in front of her.

„Three!" the hunter yelled, and it was with united force that their hands just darted forward, readyly grabbing the unsuspecting specimen and successfully pulling it out of those icy waters.

The animal panickingly winding it´s slippery muscular body, if it weren´t for the guardian´s hands around her´s holding on tightly, it most likely would have managed to escape the second she had caught it.

„There you see?" the guardian said, as carefully letting go of her hands he made to take the thing by it´s tail and threw it out into the waiting basket before turning back to her to flash her a triumphant smile.

„That was close." he offered with a tiny chuckle.

„It almost managed to escape again!"

„Yeah." was the only answer the pink haired female managed, as her eyes now clued to her companion´s face once more, she made to intendly study his handsome features again.

Happy handsome features.

With tiny wrinkles forming at the corners of his lips and that tiny spot right underneath his eyes.

Yes...

This way she just liked him best.

Happy...

He looked nothing like the Caius Ballad she had once known.

Nothing like him at all...

„Okay. Next one." the dedicated male just said, turning his attention back to the tigh deep waters, and another fish that he had spied somewhere in it´s murky dephts.

Happy...

If only she could be happy too.


The only way to survive eternity is to be able to appreciate each moment.

- Lauren Kate


It was only about half an hour later that they returned to the crowded streets of the small hunter´s village, the sun doing a good job at drying their clothes and hair, their moods were significantly better now then when they had begun their trip down to the river. And it was with cheerful expressions on both their faces that finally they entered the best visited part of the main road, right behind the main building, where always bursting full of people, the street turned into that small market place Lightning had visited on her first stroll around the village, back when Caius had first shown her around.

The purple haired hunter eagerly making his way over to a group of elderly men busily smoking their pipes, shoving that battered wicker basket now filled to the brim with fish right under their waiting noses, the pink haired warrior took her time making past the many stands, looking at the different goods offered on display.

Yes, the market square of the small hunter´s village, it was nothing compared to the busy streets of Paddra, but still, it had a fair smorgasbord of colours and smells, a wide assortment of things to choose from.

It was crazy really, the thought that she hadn´t come here to look at stuff more often.

Just to take a look around.

She had been so preoccupied with her own mission of returning to the future, that she somehow had completely forgotten to live her life here in the past, the present.

With the urge to try and find a way back home, to save the world she knew, somehow she hadn´t found the time to enjoy the world she was in now.

Weird how now that she had failed, suddenly she had all the time in the world.

More than she actually felt comfortable with.

Yes. She had failed...

That persistent thought stirring something painful somewhere shoved deep down her broken heart persistently fighting it´s way back to the surface, she had a hard time pushing it back down to where surely it belonged.

Far away and out of sight.

No. She couldn´t risk to think about this now.

Couldn´t allow those memories to resurface.

Not here.

Where everybody else could see her.

Not here, where everyone would see her break.

Again.

Because yes. She wasn´t sure whether she´d be able to manage yet.

Couldn´t tell whether she was ready to confront her fate again.

Whether she was ready to face the truth again.

To even think of it.

No.

She probably wasn´t.

Swallowing her thoughts away, forcing herself to concentrate on the presence, to focus on the world around her, the pink haired warrior made her way over to one of the booths bursting with strange looking multicoloured fruit. Her attention snatching to a weird shaped pink one she´d actually never seen before even after her stay of several weeks in the Archylte Steppe, curiously she stepped nearer, just to take a closer look.

Picking it up in both her hands, she held the plump soft fruit, a gift of mutter nature, up to study it´s weird velvety surface.

Strange...

Although back in Cara´s back room she had been thinking about finally eding her journey only a few hours ago, although so utterly convinced that there was nothing out there anymore for her, now that she was here, she was suddenly amazed to see that somehow life went on, continued.

That although she had thought there was nothing left for her to do here anymore in the huge vastness of Gran Pulse, there were still so many things she hadn´t seen.

So many things she didn´t know.

So many things there to explore.

Just like that piece of fruit.

Yes.

Suddenly there were so many things she still wanted to do...

Wanted to experience.

Whether it was tasting a new to her unknown fruit, or travel Gran Pulse to visist the city of Haeri, or finding out what lay beyond the endless plains of the Archylte Steppe, beyond the Yaschas Massif and the Vallis Media.

Surely she could find something to pass her time here, right?

Surely there were still a lot of things to come...

She still had to find out how it felt like to grow old for example.

Or become a mother.

Or to fall in love...

Maybe she wasn´t ready to leave this world yet after all.

Maybe there was still something for her to do...

Still some good times waiting for her out there...

Maybe...

The sudden presence of another person´s chest bumping against her shoulderblades, it only took a tiny moment for her shock to pass, as slowly exhaling a deep drawn breath, Etro´s fallen champion relaxed her back against the sneaky male´s athletic thorso.

Yes, maybe there was still some reason for her to keep on breathing..

Some reason to stay...

Caius...

It was the touch of an uncharacteristically rough hand sneaking it´s way under her shirt and all the way up to her chest, combined with the unexpected low growl of a voice that made her jump and pull away with a start.

And it were those few simple words so arrogantly thrown at her that forced a shudder down her spine:

„Now... Who do we have here..."

It was Caine Ballad´s voice.

It made the pink haired woman´s yaw drop and her hand release the plump pink fruit to undampedly smash into the ground.

And it was with utmost horror that she spun around to look into those familiar features, those cold purple eyes a few shades lighter, that chiseled jaw just a little more angular, so much like her companion´s but yet so different, it looked as if Caius were the softer version of his older brother, just like Serah might have seemed to be to her.

„Caine!" was all she managed, her voice coming out as a tiny whisper and her hands trembling in trepidation.

The ruthless male taking a step closer, he made the pink haired girl retreat backwards until she felt the solid surface of the fruit booth´s tabletop press into the small of her back in what could only be described as a very uncomfortable way.

Squeezed in between the tall man´s body and the table of the market stand, there really was nowhere for her to go.

Caine Ballad sucessfully had her cornered.

And it was with a devilish smirk on his face that he reached out to not so gently grab her chin, to force her to look up at him.

„Stop it!" the pink haired warrior spat at him, her still slightly puffy eyes narrowing dangerously as violently she shoved his hand away.

„Take your hands off me!"

It was no use.

It took only an instant for the stubborn male to take control of her again.

His hands wandering back to her body, to not exactly in a nice way take hold of both her sides, the sturdy man leaned closer to her face, his breath puffing against her skin, as probingly he stared into his newest victim´s eyes.

„Nobody´s telling me what to do... Especially not a… `Misfit´ like you..."

It was the last thing that he said before he felt the slap of the feisty ex soldier´s hand stinging on his sun burnt cheek.

It probably hadn´t been the best idea.

The angered male, he had her delicate tiny wrists brutally pinned to her sides in almost no time at all.

„You..." the older Ballad growled at her, his voice lowering threateningly, there was a soft pained whimper escaping from between her half closed lips as almost crushing the pink haired woman´s tiny wrists under his vicelike grip, Caine´s smirk twisted into a nasty smile.

Feeling the weak small female helplessly squirming underneath his fingers, he almost felt the urge to laugh.

Her attempts to wriggle free, they were pathetic at best.

Yes.

It was true.

With the powers of the Godess gone, there was only very little Lightning could have done to defend herself against the bulky hunter, as her heart pounding away fast in terror, she felt her fingers turn numb from her circulation cut off almost immediately.

Shit.

And it was only for a few short moments that the pain getting the better of her, thrashing around violently she tried to free herself from the hunter´s leader´s steely grip.

Please just release me...

Please just let me go...

She screamed at him inside her head.

But those were only thougts.

Silent prayers that she sent out into the ether, skywards.

Words she would certainly never allow herself to mutter, not even if her life depended on it.

Not in front of somebody like Caine.

No.

She´d rather die.

Or loose both her hands that was.

It took a few moments of struggle until finally her body went still again.

„So what now, huh?" the cruel male leaned forward to whisper into her ear once she managed to come down again.

„Going to defeat me with those tiny hands of yours?"

He gave a nasty chuckle.

„I don´t think so..."

Etro´s fallen champion, finding herself so utterly vulnurable and defenseless, with the hunter´s leader´s body pressing her against the booth, with his strong hands restraining her movements and his face so close to her´s, Lightning couldn´t help but feel another panic attack rising inside her small lean chest.

She needed to get herself out of this!

Needed to get away from him!

And fast!

Oh, how was she going to make it this time?

Her eyes panically darting all around the crowd, desperately searching for aid, for support, she couldn´t find a single spark of hope out there.

There were all those people.

All those faces.

All those eyes.

Watching.

Watching her.

Watching her predicament.

Her torment.

With their eyes darting up to Caine´s, they only for a tiny moment lingered on her tortured features, before seemingly completely unaffected, they made to continue with their business, with running their errands.

Not wasting her another glimpse.

Not even thinking about coming to her aid.

And it took her a few moments to realise, to understand why nobody out there would raise even a tiny finger to help her out, a few moments before finally she grasped the fact that of course, here Caine was the boss.

That he could do to her whatever he wanted.

And that this time she was screwed...

„What? The untameable beast suddenly lost it´s speach?" the burly hunter teased as brutally twisting the warrior´s already tortured wrists, he forced a stiffled cry of pain out of the female´s raspy throat.

„CAINE!"

It was Caius´ completely enraged voice that saved Etro´s former champion the excruciating pain of having her wrists crushed to bone meal.

Caius...

She never had felt more relieved to hear his voice.

„Ah... My dear brother..." The older Ballad replied somewhat irritatedly as turning around to face the newcomer, he thankfully let go from the timetraveller´s aching forearms.

„Long time no see." Caine´s voice threateningly increasing in volume at the last part, he turned his head back to look at the pink haired woman now cowering right next to him, his lavender eyes sitting a tad bit more together than his brother´s did, they gave her a malicious twinkle, telling her that obviously he wasn´t done with her, before slowly he made to turn back to his younger sibling standing a few meters away, the basked with the fish he still had clutched in his now shaking hands, it was half empty.

„I heard she shot you." Lightning heard the purple haired leader of the hunters chuckle, as taking a few small steps into the guardian´s direction, he finally granted her a little space to breathe – Thanks Etro.

„What did you do Caius? Ask her to become your wife?" Caine teased, giving the guardian an evil smile, before turning back to the pink haired warrior, he let his eyes roam every inch of her slender body, eying her as if she were prey, before finally reaching her eyes, he opened his mouth to speak again.

„What are we going to do with him if not even a Cocoon whore like you will have him, huh?!" he said, mockingly raising his eyebrows at the pitifull excuse for a huntress next to him.

There was deadly silence from the crowd around and a soft shocked gasp coming from the pink haired warrior´s slightly parted lips.

Constants and variables.

No...

It wasn´t the fact that he had dared to insult her there in front of everybody.

It really wasn´t.

This was just stupid brabble.

And it wasn´t the way he had dared to look at her, crudely roaming her body as if she were his.

No, it was the fact that he had implied she was from Cocoon that made her blood turn to ice inside her very veins.

How could he have fathomed?!

How could he have found out?!

Caius must have talked!

Right?

Right?!

Or maybe...

Maybe it was just obvious...

„What?! You think I´m dumb or something? Everyone can see you don´t belong here!" Caine spat at her, confirming her assumptions the moment he took in her completely perplexed expression, the way her eyes widened in unpleasent surprise.

„What are you here to do anyway... Are you sent here as a spy or did they just kick you out?!"

Those words thrown at her with utmost hate, with vengeance, Lightning´s heart terrifyedly skipped a beat as the sturdy man turned back to walk straight up to her again.

„Well.. it doesn´t matter. You are here now, right?" he just said mockingly, his hands coming up to caress her face, the way his calloused fingers made to trace her cheek, her jawline, she couldn´t find the words in her to describe how much she hated it.

The way he touched her.

The way he looked at her.

It made her stomach turn and her body cringe away until she felt her back bump into the wooden table of the booth again, her only way of escape blocked by a load of plump fresh fruit.

„I think it´s time we find a way for you to earn your place here..." The older Ballad said, raising one of his eyebrows suggestively as she felt his hands sneak downwards, ready to go for her backside again.

„CAINE!" Caius suddenly yelled over from his place in the middle of the street again, the fingers of his free hand curling into a fist, the other one gripping the basket so hard his knuckles were turning white, his temper rising with the speed of a intercontinental ballistic missile, he knew he wouldn´t be able to watch this much longer, wasn´t sure how long he´d be able to resist the urge to just rip his stupid brother´s face to pieces.

How was he supposed to watch this?!

The older Ballad rewarding his brother with another derogatory glance, he had his attention back on the woman trembling there in front of him in almost no time at all.

The way those savage lavender eyes now piercied her own, menacingly, threateningly, like those of a killer would, right before he pounced...

Lightning had seen it.

Had seen it so often already.

That dangerous, predator glare...

Had seen it in his younger brother´s eyes about a gazillion times already.

Seeing it in Caine Ballad´s eyes, it was like flashback to the timeless realms.

Valhalla...

Etro...

Caius Ballad...

The pain.

The fight.

The torment.

It only lasted for a few moments though, as a murderous smirk spreading on his face again, Caine Ballad transformed back into the leader of the hunters again.

„Clever little slut! Even she can tell that you are good for nothing!" he offered with a stupid laugh as not even bothering to turn back to look at his brother, his left hand closed around the pink haired female´s butt to squeeze.

„Right?"

It happened in the blink of an eye.

There was the low thud of a basket half filled with fish dropping to the ground and an unexpected grunt of pain as all of a sudden Caius Ballad had the older man seized by his shirt, pushing Caine away from his pink haired companion and landing a nasty hit square at his brother´s face.

Damn.

The gathered bystanders only staring in bewilderment, it took only a moment for the leader of the hunter´s to switch from startled into fighting mode. And only the fraction of a second for the both of them to land on the ground.

With a well aimed blow to his solar plexus, the older Ballad had his younger brother tumble to the ground in no time at all, the significantly stronger male crawling on top of him already, straddled beween his brother´s muscular tighs, Caius Ballad had no chance of escapse as one of his older sibling´s hands finding it´s way to his throat, readily cutting off his air supply, he felt the other ready to descend upon his face again and again in a vicious attack of fists he was going to have a hard time dodging there with both his arms.

It was only a few seconds into the fight, that Caine landed his second hit, this time to his brother´s unprotected cheek.

There was a low murmur running through the crowd and a shocked gasp coming from the pink haired warrior´s lips as her back still pressed against the table of the fruit booth, somehow completely rooted to the spot, she watched their brawl with huge blue eyes.

The purple haired guardian, he didn´t seem to care at all.

With the burning rage inside him fuelling his hasty actions, he used both of his still free hands to brutally attack his brother´s stupid face, hitting wherever he managed to land a blow, as regardless of the consequences, he violently lashed out at he man on top of him.

The crowd around them screaming and shouting, some of them excitingly leading them on, other´s begging for the two of them to stop, the precious fish lying scattered on the ground, abandoned now, Caius Ballad didn´t notice any of it as his fists lashing out into every direction he finally allowed his rage free reign.

And it felt good to finally let out his anger.

Felt good to finally make Caine pay.

And every time his fist impacted with his brother´s body, it felt like a weight was lifted from his heart, his soul, felt like finally after all this time he´d receive his hard earned revanche.

Yes...

Maybe he should have done this ages ago.

Slowly running out breath, beginning to feel light headed, with his brother´s left hand so determined to choke him, his vision blurring and his pulse now deafeningly pounding in his ears, the purple haired hunter with his back pressed to the stony ground of the main road, he didn´t seem to care at all.

Letting out the rage pent up inside of him for ages the infuriated male continued to hit his older brother as best and as hard as he could.

„Stop it you fool you can never beat me!" Caine spat at him from the bloody pulp that was his mouth, the older Ballad´s blood dripping down onto his cheek, his forehead, Caius Ballad didn´t even think about giving in, not even for a tiny second.

This time it was just too much.

This time Caine had gone too far.

This time Caine would pay.

There was a limit for the bullshit he was able to take from him, and this limit, well it had been crossed quite a while ago now.

No way was he going to let him win this.

No way was he going to give up.

Not until he´d pass out or die.

That much was for sure!

He didn´t have to keep it up much longer though.

Landing a final brutal hit at his older brother´s nose, it finally made the bigger man release his grip on his tortured neck, and seizing his opportunity, the guardian to be pushed himself up from the ground in an attempt to throw the other off, but with his still injured shoulder complaining painfully, it was only a second before Caine had him pinned back to the ground almost effortlessly.

Caius Ballad was not to be discouraged though, as gasping for breath, he continued to lash out at him, continued to struggle to free himself.

„Give up little brother! There is nothing you can do!" Caine advised, sounding out of breath himself.

His jaw hurting vehemently and nursing a heavy nosebleed himself, the leader of the hunters, he instantly received an angry growl and another hit to his face as his brother´s only answer.

It only served to aggravate him further.

Only served to make him snap.

„Fuck, what will it take for you to learn your place, Caius?!" Lightning heard the older Ballad bark, and she felt her heart skip a beat the second that he moved to pull out his long curved hunter´s knife, the second that he readied it for his attack.

„CAIUS!" the pink haired woman yelled in warning as darting forwards, her hand instinctively shooting to the grip of her gun, she found it meeting only thin air, as reaching down to check again she realised that of course it wasn´t there.

That of course it was still inside Cara´s hut.

Still fully cocked and safely resting on her bedside table.

Shit.

What was she going to do?!

Her hand darting down to free her own slightly smaller and less vicious looking hunting knife, she almost instantly had it out and ready to come to her companion´s defence.

No matter how she was going to fight Caine off with that small knife of her´s, there was simply no way she was going to watch him cut the guardian into pieces!

No matter what might happen in the future, how much they´d fight there in Valhalla, he had been ready to start a fight to save her, now it was her turn to get him out of there.

And it was charging forward that she freed her knife, that she brought it up then, ready to attack.

There was no need to do so though.

The dark clad hunter managing to knock the weapon right out of his brother´s grip, the deadly piece of metal landing in the dirt a few meters away with a stealy clatter, it was only a second before the two of them got pulled apart.

Three of Caine´s faithful hunters pulling him away and up to his feet, Lightning watched the bloody mess of his face in disdain as spitting out some blood, he gave her what she took as a contemptious sneer and it was wiping the blood from his mashed up face that he shook off his three strong cronies to pick up his knife from the ground, before he turned back to his younger brother still lying on the ground.

„Pathetic." he spat at him.

„Maybe the two of you deserve each other."

His eyes darting over to the pink haired warrior, he gave her a final nasty smirk before turning around on his heels, the leader of the Archylte Steppe´s hunters turned to vanish in the crowd.

Finally...

Breathing a sigh of releave, Lightning watched the man´s retreating back. Returning her knife back to where surely it belonged, back to the save spot of it´s leather holster, she slowly ran her hand over it´s ancient wooden grip, before finally she let her hand drop back to her side.

It was a good thing she didn´t have to use it there.

The thought of what they would have done to her, had she dared to raise her weapon against their precious leader, it was making the tiny hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

Turning her attention back to the purple haired guardian slowly managing to sit up on the ground, panting for air as he drew fast shallow breaths, Lightning was down on her knees right next to him in a matter of seconds.

„Caius!"

Her beautiful eyes huge with concern, with worry, those light pale pools of blue, they instantly darted to her companion´s face, where she could tell he had received a few nasty hits, a few scratches on his cheeks and forehead the first marks of the fight to show, his lower lip bleeding form a tiny cut, there were a few drops of blood slowly making their way down his temple and his chin.

Whether they were Caine´s or his, well, it wasn´t exactly easy to tell.

„Shit! Caius are you okay?!" she blurted. One of her hands darting up instinctively to touch his shoulder in what was meant as a comforting gesture, the purple haired guardian pulling away instantly, it only made his right hand come up to clutch his injured shoulder in pain again.

„Damn! I´m sorry! I didn´t mean..." the woman stammered, mentally facepalming herself for her stupidity, her carelessness, as fighting for words she tried to find the right ones to appologize.

Her helpless stutter, it only made the hunter withdraw further.

„Caius..."

The purple haired man in front of her still trembling uncontrollably, still seething with rage, his hands balled into fists and his breathing ragged, seeming completely beside himself with fury, giving her best to put on a soothing voice, Lightning started another attempt at calming him.

„Shh.. It´s okay. It´s over... Calm down." she told him.

Reaching out for him again, she carfully started tracing soothing patterns on his upper arm as trying to establish eye contact, she used her other hand to gently brush some hair out of his face.

His face...

The man trying so hard now to control his anger, althought so enraged, so utterly infuriated, he still was nothing compared to the man she had met there in Valhalla, only a shadow of the monster that she knew he one day would become.

And it was for a brief moment there, that not for the first time, she wondered what would happen to transform him, what would happen to break this friendly caring individual she had come to get to know here in this long forgotten past.

What would happen to turn this man she´d come to call her companion, her friend even, into her worst of enemies.

Was it something she had done?

Something she would do?

Maybe...

Or maybe it were just those thousands of years of pain and grief and lonelyness that made him the monster she had met.

Anyway...

She wasn´t eager to find out.

Or was she?

„Caius breathe... Calm down, it´s over..." she whispered into his ear, as inching closer, she made to wipe off some of the blood with the tips of her right hand´s index finger.

„Just breathe..."

It helped.

A lot.

Her soothing voice and her gentle touches working wonders, although it did take him some time and some effort, after several minutes of deep relaxing breathing and with the remainders of the crowd that had gathered around them during the fight finally scattering, the purple haired guardian managed to come down again.

And it was accepting his companion´s waiting hand that slowly he managed to get up on his feet.

The both of them coming to stand facing each other, now that finally the rage was ebbing away, the purple haired guardian suddenly felt the pain delayed now coming back to hit him full force.

„Are you okay?" the pink haired warrior tried after granting him some time.

The purple haired man standing next to her, still slightly leaning on his companion´s arm for support, he just nodded slowly, unable to look into her eyes.

„Good... Because Caius... Shit... What have you been thinking!?" the pink haired woman´s voice suddenly raising in both pitch and volume, the concerned look on her face replaced by that irritated stern expression, the guardian to be completely perplexed, for the first few seconds into her rant, the poor male didn´t even realise what was going on.

„Caine was trying to provoke you! That reaction of yours was exactly what he had been going for! Attacking him like that, you did exactly what he wanted!" she just threw at him.

Now that she had made sure he was going to be okay, finally she felt her own anger bubbling over.

How could he be so stupid?!

Attacking the tribe´s leader like that, Caine, albeit his brother, he could have done Etro knows what to him, to the both of them!

„I really thought you were smarter than that!" she almost yelled at him.

Her choleric outburst, it shooed even the most persistent onlookers away.

„You can´t always let him provoke you like that!" she scolded him, before realising she was still standing in the middle of the market place, finally, she gave a resignated sigh.

She really needed to get herself together.

„You could have gotten injured..." she added much more quietly.

Her voice suddenly soft, almost fragile, it finally made the guardian to be look up at her with curious amethyst eyes.

The skin underneath his left eye already starting to bruise, Lightning could tell it was going to make for a nasty mark sometime soon.

A souvenir from his fight with Caine.

His only brother...

Maybe it wasn´t exactly something to be proud of...

The dark clad hunter he just shook his head.

„What should I have done then!? Nothing?! Let him harass you?! Let him hurt you?!" he suddenly blurted out of nowhere, his dark narrowed eyes accusing, or justifying maybe, the purple haired man felt his own anger returning with the speed of a train.

Lightning only stared.

She didn´t know what to say exactly.

Of course she had been thankful for this torture to end!

But still...

„You think I could have just watched this?! You really think that?!" the guardiant to be suddenly snapped.

The words coming out much more aggressive than he had intended, Caius Ballad instantly made to look away again.

No.

He wouldn´t let anybody treat her like that.

Not her.

No way.

„I can´t let him treat you like that... I just can´t! I don´t care what he was playing at. I just won´t have it..." he almost barked at her.

The pink haired warrior staring up at him with huge blue eyes, his gaze wandering down to her injured wrists, Caius hesitantly reached down to bring up both her arms, to take a closer look at the damage his brother had inflicted there.

The skin on her forearms and hands looking irritated and starting to turn nasty colours already, the dark clad hunter gave another angry sounding growl.

With the back of her hands resting in his palms and the tips of his thumbs coming up to caress the ultra sensitve skin of the insides of her brutally bruised wrists, it didn´t hurt, not even for a second.

The gentle touch only leaving behind a warm tingling sensation, soothing even, Lightning had to stifle a wistful whimper, the second he pulled away with a pained shake of his head.

„I should have intervened much earlier..." the man in front spoke up again. The way his voice was dripping with regret, it was making the pink haired female meet his gaze once more.

„I´ll never let anybody hurt you again. Ever. I promise." he told her, his right hand coming up to cup her cheek as for what had to be the hundredth time that day, Caius Ballad invaded her private space.

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t exactly mind him there.

Not even for a tiny second.

With his thumb caressing the skin right underneath her eye, looking up at the man in front of her through her thick dark lashes, Etro´s fallen champion wondered what was going through that crazy head of his.

Did he really care for her that much?

Had he really developed feelings for her?

He...

Caius Ballad?!

Yes he had.

She knew the answer.

Had known for quite some time now.

Still, the fact that the man who had one day been so eager to kill her, had just sworn to protect her...

Somehow it was hard to grasp.

Because yes.

She knew him.

Knew the monster.

The madman.

The abyss lurking there inside of him.

Knew who one day he would become.

What he would become...

Still the Caius of this time, he somehow had managed to sneak right past her guards, past her defenses, had managed to get under her skin and somehow overcome those walls she had erected there around her, had managed to sneak right into her heart.

Her thoughts.

Her dreams.

Somehow, now that he had forced his way inside, Lightning had a hard time locking him out again.

It was rather irksome to say the very least.

And so where his huge amethyst eyes now boring into her´s, and so was the gentle touch of his hand still resting at her cheek.

Irksome but also mesmerizing.

Mesmerising, just like those lips of his only inches from her own now.

Those lips slightly moving now as they gently formed her name.

Lightning...

And suddenly she couldn´t help but to feel drawn to them, felt her heart give a hopeful tiny flutter and her eyes dart up to lock with his as slowly she felt the man in front of her lean in to close the distance between them once again.

And this time it was no surprise.

This time she knew exactly what was about to happen.

This time she came prepared.

And still, it was only the last second before their lips connected that Etro´s fallen champion managed to avert disaster.

Taking a tiny reluctant step backwards, it was only with utmost effort, that she managed to turn her face away from his, that somehow against all odds she managed to resist this devilish temptation.

No...

It couldn´t be.

It was wrong.

They were supposed to be enemies – as that tiny voice inside her head constantly reminded her.

Mortal enemies.

And nothing else.

No.

It just couldn´t be...

There was just no way this was going to happen.

Ever.

She needed to stay strong.

She needed to carry on.

Carry on with her mission.

Whatever her mission was these days...

Well, it definitely didn´t include making out with her arch enemy.

The guardian´s hand slowly letting go of her face, dropping down to uselessly dangle at his side, Caius Ballad let his head hang in deafeat, gave a hurt resignated sigh.

„I just don´t have any chance with you, do I?" he just said sadly.

It wasn´t really a question, more like a statement, a realisation.

His eyes still clued to her icy blue one´s, Etro´s fallen champion, completely rooted to the spot, she didn´t say a thing, just watched, as giving yet another soft defeated sigh, the man in front of her slowly let his gaze wander down to his feet.

She just didn´t know what to say.

Maybe there wasn´t anything to say anyway...

The dark clad hunter in front of her, tearing himself away from her with a disheartened look on his face, the pink haired timetraveller only watched his retreating back as bending down to pick up the scattered fish to put them back into their basket, without looking back at her even once, he made to take down main street.

And it was weird.

That strange feeling suddenly so unexpectedly stirring in her stomach.

That same foreign feeling suddenly rising in her chest and pulling at her heartstrings, making her chest constrict in a funny kind of pain.

And she knew that it was crazy.

But somehow letting him go hurt.

Somehow rejecting him stung.

Somehow turning him down felt wrong and twisted and bad.

Somehow hurting his feelings again, this time, it felt worse than ever.

Because yes.

It was not fair.

She was not being fair.

Caius deserved better.

He was a decent guy, a good person, who´d surely make a caring lover, a loving husband.

To someone.

Someday.

Not to her.

Not now.

Never.

Because no, no matter how much she wanted to the deny it, it just couldn´t, wouldn´t be.

How was it even possible Caius Ballad felt for her?

Hadn´t he always encountered her with utmost hate, with loathing?

Lightning still remembered it, remembered it as plain as day, what had happened in the future.

What had hapened in the past.

All those memories from Valhalla.

They were still there, were etched into her memory, were carved into her heart.

She still felt it.

The pain of having his sword thrust deep into her insides.

The feeling of that blade cutting her throat, still burning on her neck.

All those memories there from Valhalla.

They hadn´t changed.

Not even a tiny bit.

And Caius Ballad knew.

Knew they would be fighting.

Knew they would be enemies...

What in the whole large vastness of Gran Pulse made him think that they could be something else?!

Something else then just opponents.

Something more than just companions, something more than friends even.

How could he even for one second think that she´d be stupid enough to let this happen?

Stupid enough to just give in?!

Stupid...

Yeah she was so fucking stupid.

Letting things come that far...

Who knew how much Chaos she had created already?

Created with her reckless deeds.

How much more Chaos would her actions breed, should she choose to just remain here?

How much more Chaos was she going to release, trying to deny her feelings, trying to defy her destiny?

And more importantly...

How was she going to defy it in the first place?

How was she going to resist that pull mercilessly drawing them together?

How was she going to severe that bond fated to form between the two of them?

How was she going to resist Caius Ballad?

Well...

There were constants and variables.

Right?!

Or maybe she was just a fool.

A fool to even try...


Meeting you was fate.

Becoming your friend was a choice.

But falling in love with you was beyond my control.

- Origin Unknown


It was already late afternoon, evening even, as letting her gaze glide over the sea of dry high grass, Etro´s fallen champion wandered the Archylte Steppe in search for her purple haired companion.

She hadn´t seen a glimpse of Caius ever since they had parted after the incidence at the market place and the fact of not having him around, of not knowing where he was and whether he was actually okay, it made her feel uneasy, queasy, anxious even, especially after a day like this, especially after everything that had happened.

It wasn´t exactly that she missed him...

No of course not!

It was just that...

Damn.

Alright she missed him.

Didn´t like him leaving her like that.

Didn´t like them parting like that.

Didn´t like the way he was evading her again.

It almost felt like back when she had shot him.

Back when they hadn´t been on speaking terms.

Thinking about it, she wasn´t exactly sure they were now.

Not after she had turned him down again.

Maybe finally he had enough from her?

Well, this way or the other...

She definitely felt that it was her turn to make the first move this time, her turn to appologize again.

And she would gladly do so, if only she would find him, in this vast plain open land.

Well, she didn´t have to search for long it seemed as making her way up that familiar gentle slope, that single ancient oak tree towering somewhere on the top, she already had a feeling she would find him there up on that blasted hill he loved so much.

His sanctuary, as she knew he called it.

Of course he was there, she should have guessed all along.

Where else would he be...

„There you are." she greeted once she reached him, slightly out of breath from walking.

It was leaning with his back against one of those smooth small rocks, with their surface still warm from the last rays of the sun, that he sat there on the ground, pensively staring into the distance, watching the sun go down, a giant ball of fire, melting into the tops of the Yaschas Massif in the distance and dipping those high plateaus and mountain tops into a burning sea of liquid gold.

The voice of the woman he had come to love, ripping him out of his musings, slowly turning his head to face her, the purple haired guardian, he didn´t look surprised to see her.

Well...

He had probably heard her approaching from miles away with those bad dear stalking skills of hers.

„I already guessed I´d find you here." she said as tentatively crouching down in the grass beside him she made her first attempt at starting a conversation.

There was no response from his side whatsoever.

Well, she had already expected this.

It was just so him...

„How are you feeling?" she added carefully, her voice sounding slightly concerned.

It finally made him look up at her.

Look at her, but not say anything.

Anything at all.

He didn´t need to.

Lightning knew exactly what he felt.

His beautiful amethyst eyes speaking volumes, she could see pain and confusion there in those raging depths of purple.

Yes Caius Ballad was confused.

Confused to say the very least.

What was she doing here with him?

Why had she come out to look for him?

Why did she pretend to care in the first place?

Yes. Pretend to care.

Because surely she didn´t really care for him.

Didn´t care for him at all.

Or she wouldn´t have treated him like she had.

Would never have treated him the way she been treating him form the beginning.

Wouldn´t have shot him, wouldn´t have hit him, wouldn´t have hurt him, like she somehow seemed to enjoy doing so much.

Yes.

Maybe she had been merely playing with him.

Had been playing with his feelings.

Had used him to help her out whenever she had needed him as her protector, as her teacher, as her guide.

Her friend.

Had abused his hospitality, his kindness, his compassion, his sympathy, his feelings...

No, this woman from Cocoon, this woman from the future, she didn´t care for him even a tiny bit, or did she?

Why was she here then?

What could it possibly be that she needed from him this time?

Caius couldn´t fathom.

Could it really be?

Was there even the tiniest possibility that maybe she really had just come to look after him?

Somehow Caius couldn´t tell.

The sky above on fire with a brilliant sunset, a dark satturated blue, streaked with bursts of oranges and magentas and purples, and the songs of the birds sitting in the nearby oak tree, balm for their tortured souls, the pink haired warrior´s face looming about a foot away from his, continuing to just look up at her, unblinking, completely motionless, Caius Ballad waited for an explanation, waited for at least some kind of appology.

It never came.

„Let me have a look..." she said instead and it was only a second later that he felt the fingers of her right hand somewhere at his jaw, felt the touch of her thumb gently brushing against his slightly swollen lower lip as torturingly slowly she ran her small delicate finger over to the tiny cut he had received there in the fight that afternoon.

The tip of her finger lingering there for a few tiny precious moments, Caius Ballad, suddenly unable to draw even a single tiny breath, he couldn´t help but close his eyes.

Oh, why was she doing this to him...

Why was she teasing him like that?

If she didn´t want him anyway, why couldn´t she just let him go?

With his forehead wrinkled in confusion, his charismatic eyes shut for once, Lightning took her time admiring the way those bursts of sunlight blinking throught the nearby leaves painted the marble skin of his face in soft alluring shadows.

Why did he have to be so fucking handsome...

Why did she have to feel so drawn to him...

Him?!

Her thumb lingering at his lips a little longer, finally after what seemed like half an eternity, she slowly made to pull away.

Those dark armethyst eyes curiously blinking up at her the moment that she drew away, a turmoil of confusion, of pain, of hope, raging there inside of them, feeling the almost irresistable urge to lean in and kiss him, Lightning gave a small sad smile before finally she turned away again.

What was wrong with her today?

She really had to get herself together.

This was getting ridiculous.

Dangerous even.

She needn´t loose control like this...

Needn´t give in to that fluttery warm sensation stirring there inside her chest, threatening to spread into her entire body whenever she felt that insufferable male´s touch somewhere on her alabaster skin.

The purple haired guardian´s brow furrowing in confusion, not offering him even a single tiny word of explanation, the pink haired female let her body drop down into the grass right next to him, settled down to watch the sundown, just like he had done before, staring off into the distance, deeply lost in thought.

Caius Ballad didn´t know what to think.

The way she looked at him, the way she touched him, the way she behaved around him, it made him feel as if she cared.

Yes.

He could tell the pink haired female from the future felt something for him.

She really did.

But for some strange kind of reason she didn´t want to let it show.

The dark clad hunter mentally shook his head.

What purpose was there in hiding one´s feelings?

He couldn´t understand.

There was no reason for her to hide them, to ban them.

To act as if she didn´t have them.

She knew he liked her.

She had to.

He had made that more than obvious on plenty of occasions.

She knew he wouldn´t reject her.

Not in a million years.

What was she afraid of then?

Why couldn´t she allow them?

Why couldn´t she allow herself to be happy?

Why couldn´t she just let him in...

The pink haired female readjusting her legs to settle into a more comfortable position, her arm brushing against his for a tiny moment, she only gave a resignated huff.

„Caius... Thank you." she said, finally turning her head to face him.

„Huh?" Those unexpected words of hers, hitting him completely out of the blue, they made him look up again at once.

„Thank you for saving me from Caine... I... The way I treated you... It... It wasn´t right... I´m sorry..." she continued somewhat shyly.

The dark clad male right next to her, he could do nothing but stare at her in bewilderment.

It took him a few moments to find his speech again, before briefly shaking his head to clear his mind, he opened his mouth to speak again.

„It´s okay." he said, unable to keep the surprise from leaking into his voice.

„You´re probably right. I shouldn´t let myself get worked up that easily."

„Of course you shouldn´t." she agreed. Her eyes narrowing slightly, for a tiny moment there it was again, that stern expression, creeping back into her pretty features.

It was gone in the blink of an eye though.

„Still... I actually was glad you where there to get me out of there..." she admitted somewhat reluctantly.

„I just... When Caine pulled out that knife..." her words trailing off at the last part, the pink haired female shaking her head, she instantly made to look away again.

Caius Ballad only raised his eyebrows.

„What...?! You were worried about me?" he asked somewhat incredulously, staring holes now into the side of his companion´s pretty head.

„Uhm... Yes..." she finally confessed.

The guardian to be, he only gave a tiny snort.

„Strange words coming from the woman who tried to kill me with her future weapon..." he mused somewhat reproachfully, his eyes readily burning into her´s the moment she chose to turn her face back towards him.

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t find it in herself to say something in return, feeling guilty and somehow caught, she chose to just avert her gaze again instead.

„Caine´s my brother, Lightning. He wouldn´t have me killed or anything. He just likes showing that he´s still the boss." the pensive hunter said after some time of silence.

Well, Etro´s former champion, she didn´t feel so sure.

„Maybe..." was all she felt fit to say.

Feeling her companion´s gaze burning holes somewhere into the sensitive skin of the side of her face, for some strange reason she couldn´t bring herself to look up at him this time.

Maybe Caius was right after all.

Maybe she had been overreacting there.

Maybe there had been no need to yell at him, to scold him.

Maybe there had been no need for her to even take out that blasted knife of her´s.

Or maybe there had...

„I was more worried about your wrists than about Caine´s knife actually..." the guardian suddenly said as curiously raising one of his eybrows he reached over to gently take her hands again, to bring them closer to his face, just to take a proper look at them.

The gentle touch of his fingertips warm and soothing on her badly bruised skin making her look up once more, she instantly found her gaze darting up to her companion´s eyes once again.

„He´s such a stupid jerk! I can´t believe he actually did all that to you" the hunter added somewhat angrily.

Sensing her companion´s temper rise again, Lightning felt the sudden urge to get him to calm down again.

„It´s nothing really. They are alright." she assured him. Her beautiful pule blue eyes twinkling up at him sincere, he could only stare at her in disbelieve.

The way he furrowed his eyebrows, making his forehead crease in tiny wrinkles, it instantly told her he didn´t agree with what she had just said there.

Not even a tiny bt.

„Okay... They might be a little sore now..." she admitted. „But he did no lasting damage there, I guess."

„He´d better not..." The man next to her growled. His eyes narrowing dangerously, his expression turned to one of anger once again.

She watched the transformation with a strange weak smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

It was cute the way he acted all protective around her...

„Hey, don´t you dare pull that grumpy face on me all day." she said somewhat mockingly, making the guardian to be look up in surprise.

„It doesn´t suit you." she informed, the small weak smile turning into something bigger, something more sincere, something that lit her haunted features and made her eyes twinkle beautifully in the last rays of the autumn sun.

It came unexpected.

That smile of hers.

But was a pleasant surprise for a change.

Something he definitely needed to see more often.

That smile...

Caius Ballad returned it eagerly, the handsome smile he gave her instantly chasing the menacing shadows from Valhalla off his friendly face, taking with it every memory of their battle that had been threatening to resurface again.

„I´m sorry." he said giving a tiny snort.

In only made her smile intensify.

Looking down at her companion´s hands, she realised he was still holding her injured wrists, was still caressing their insides with his thumbs, the touch of his hands already familiar, comforting on her now bruised skin.

It was crazy, the way she liked them there.

Crazy, the way she wanted them to stay like that.

„You know the first time I saw you in that clearing, I never would have thought I was going to get myself a beating from my own brother because of you." the purple haired hunter chuckled.

„I never would have dreamed that you would become that important to me." he admitted, finally letting go of her hands.

For some strange reason, that statement of his, it was making her blush.

„For anybody to become that important to me actually..."

There was a bit of silence.

Pleasant silence.

Not that dreaded awkward one.

A few minutes of peace inmidst those raging storms that somehow had become their realities.

„You should let Cara take a look at that." the caring male adviced when he realised she wasn´t going to say anything.

„I´m sure she could get you something to at least mend the pain."

Etro´s fallen champion gave an appreciative nod.

Somehow she was glad he had just changed the topic.

Still.

That pensive gaze now clued on her´s...

Those deep dark depths of purple staring back at her...

Yes.

Lightning knew Caius had developed feelings for her.

Like really deep feelings.

And she had seen the signs.

Dangerous signs.

The way he looked at her as if the world stood still, as if for the short few moments their eyes locked nothing around them existed, nothing around them mattered, counted.

It made her pulse speed up, it made her forget how to breathe, made her heart burn with ache, with longing, whenever he turned that dark amethyst eyes on her.

Yes it was true.

Caius Ballad was falling in love with her.

Or maybe he already had.

Maybe this was partly her fault.

Maybe she had been sending out the wrong signals all along.

Staying at the village, she might have given him false hopes.

Maybe she should have left right from the beginning...

Should have left a long time ago.

Shouldn´t have stayed here with him in that small hunter´s village somehwere in the no man´s land of the Archylte Steppe...

Why wasn´t she leaving now?

She could be up and ready to go in a matter of hours, could reach the city of Haerii in a matter of days, for sure.

Why didn´t she just pack her things and leave.

Leave before it was too late?

Leaving...

Looking up into the guardian´s warm kind eyes, somehow she wasn´t sure she wanted to anymore.

Wasn´t sure she would be able to, even if she tried.

Because maybe...

Just maybe...

She was falling for him too.


Those eyes of yours could swallow stars

galaxies

and universes.

What hope did I ever have?

- Origin Unknown


The sun was going down in a breathtaking spectacle of light and colours and it was only a few minutes after the glowing ball of fire had sunken beneath the tops of it´s mountainous sea, that the night arrived, claiming every inch of the now darkening sky, a few hollow streaks of pink and purple gracing the horizon, they were the last reminders of the once bright autumn day.

With the pale light radiating off Cocoon, tinging the world around them in it´s eery silver sheen again, the plains of the Archylte Steppe cooling down immediately, the second the last ray of sunlight vanished behind the towering tops of the Yaschas Massif, our two hunters there, they didn´t really seem to care, as still sitting in the dry high grass in their place on the top of the hill, they worldlessly enjoyed the way the world around them went quiet.

The way the birds stopped chirping in the nearby tree...

The way the rustling of those waist high culms just seemed to cease...

The way even the gentle breeze that constantly seemed to be blowing out there on those endless grasslands seemed to ease, just as if it was about to go off to sleep with the rest of the Steppe around them.

The darkness of the night immersing the vast grassy plains into it´s cool dark shadows, with the sun now gone, and the earth underneath her body turning cold already, Etro´s fallen champion, still sitting in the grass right next to him, it was almost instinctively that she moved closer to her male companion.

Their arms and legs touching now, the dark clad hunter didn´t seem to mind her there, didn´t seem to mind the body contact.

Yes it was getting cold out there.

But somehow Lightning didn´t care.

With her companion´s body next to her to warm her, feeling his body heat bleeding into her through their gently touching arms and legs, somehow she wasn´t feeling cold at all as she let her gaze wander those amazing nightskies, those many tiny stars, merrily twinkling back at her.

How long had they been out there already?

Lightning couldn´t remember.

But well.

It didn´t really matter.

Not as long as they were there together.

„Look a shooting star!" her purple haired comrade suddenly exclaimed, one of his hands shooting up to point it at the sky above, Lightning only wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion.

„There! Another!" he said, excitedly staring up at the spectacle above.

„Make a wish!" he encouraged as carefully shifting his weight he turned his head to look at her.

„Huh?" the pink haired female only contered stupidly as obviously confused, she made to sit up straight, presenting her male companion with a rather bewildered stare of her´s.

What was he talking about?

„What, you´ve never seen a shooting star?!" the guardian realised, somewhat taken aback.

Lightning only shook her head.

No.

Of course she hadn´t.

Had never even heard of it in fact.

How was she supposed to know?

The once dutiful member of the Guardian Corps had spent almost all of her life in Cocoon after all.

Locked inside a golden cage, there had been no stars to gaze, no nightskies and no sundowns. Only the lights of far away cities, only the silhuette of Eden looming in the distance.

„Look! There are even more of them!"

The pink haired female, curiousity taking the better of her, following her companion´s gaze upwards, this time she could see it too.

A bursting streak of light, blazing across the sky, it lasted only briefly before finally it´d fade away.

Just like Lightning.

Her namesake.

They existed only for a short amount of time.

Flaring up brightly, just to burn down just as quickly.

Gone in a matter of milliseconds.

To Etro´s fallen champion, they were both beautiful and somehow sad alike.

„They are nice but... What are they...?" she murmured pensively.

The guardian to be relaxing his back against the smooth hard surface of the rock again, he slowly drew a deep contemplative breath.

„The legends say that occassionally, the Godess Etro, out of curiousity, even boredom maybe, peers down at Gran Pulse from between the spheres above. And sometimes, if you are lucky, a star slips out of the gap she creates, becoming visible as those falling, shooting starts." he explained somewhat dreamily.

It only made the pink haired warrior emit one of her incredulous snorts.

Yeah... Sure.

She had already expected something like that.

„Since the goddess is already looking at us at such a time, she tends to be more receptive to any wishes that we make." the guardian went on, ignoring his companion´s disbelieving glances.

„So anytime you see a shooting star, it´s the best opportunity to have your wish come true." he reveiled, flashing his pink haired companion a small insecure smile.

„And you believe that?!" Lightning only shook her head.

Yes.

It was true of course.

Sometimes Etro did watch, and when she did, her gate would open.

But what would come there from the other side...

It would be nothing like those pretty stars up there.

Nothing good and certainly no dreams fulfilled.

No.

Nothing of that kind would ever come from it.

Nothing but war and destruction and pain.

Nothing but Chaos.

Caius Ballad, completely oblivious to the path the pretty female´s thoughts had wandered off to, he only shrugged his broad lean shoulders.

„Maybe..." he answered pensively, his dark armethyst gaze wandering back to his companion´s face, he gave her one of those adorable half smiles before finally he chose to speak again.

„Hey... A guy´s allowed to dream right?" he contered playfully once he took in her completely baffled expression.

„Yeah... Sure..." she gave in.

Well, he could believe in whatever he wanted she guessed.

It was none of her buisness after all.

„Why don´t you try it yourself?" the guardian suggested.

„Uhm... Okay... So what am I supposed to wish for?" she asked when she caught the purple haired male continuing to look at her expectantly.

„Whatever you want." he was ready to encourage.

Hmm...

Racking her mind to come up with something useful, something that didn´t include her time travel, the future, Serah or her journey, trying hard to find something even remotely realistic, something a little more related to the present actually, Lightning couldn´t help but come up empty.

It was crazy really, the fact that she couldn´t come up with a single realistic wish...

It was weird somehow.

And sad.

But somehow there was nothing she actually wanted for herself.

The only thing she dearly wished for was for this nightmare to finally end.

For this torment to be over.

For her to just wake up with a normal life and figure out that all of this was nothing but some kind of strange comatic dream.

Well, it wouldn´t come true anytime soon it seemed.

„What is your wish?" she suddnely inquired curiously.

She didn´t know what made her say it.

Somehow the words had left her mouth without her even realising.

The purple haired male right next to her throwing her a contemplative glance, instead of giving any answer, he tentatively reached down to take her hand once more, to carefully interlace their fingers.

That sudden gesture of affection making her heart give another tiny flutter, this time, miraculously, Lightning didn´t even feel the urge to pull away.

Looking up into those dark amethyst eyes, glistening like jewels under the pale shimmer of Cocoon, loosing herself in those mesmerizing dephts of purple, the soldier form the future, for some strange inexplicable reason she just agreed to let him hold her hand.

The guardian looking down at their fingers now entwined, he only gave a soft tentative sigh.

„One ´s not supposed to tell... Or otherwise the wish won´t come true." he said somewhat pensively, rewarding her with one of his weak smiles.

The way his thumb was tracing tiny patterns on the back of her hand, the meaningful look he gave her, suddenly the intensity of his stare it was so much more than she could take.

And it was averting her gaze for a tiny little minute that finally she inched a little closer, that she allowed her upper body to lean against his upper arm and relaxed her head against his waiting shoulder, making the guardian´s heart suddenly beat significantly faster, and his breathing stop for just a few tiny seconds.

Her slender delicate fingers giving his a tiny squeeze, blinking up at him from underneath her pinkish bangs, her cool blue eyes, two pale blue crystals, mysteriously glinting in the darkness, they were like galaxies of their own to him, twinkling with a million tiny stars.


Damn, your eyes.


It was already late into the night when the two of them made their way back to the village.

With the later hours of the night there also came a cool breeze, blowing in the dry high culms of grass and tousling their hair, bringing with it a handfull of dark thick clouds, the first heralds to announce the storm that surely was about to come.

The two of them slipping back through the huge wooden gates and quietly taking down the main street, with the rest of the village already sound asleep, there were only the glowing embers of the nearby fires burnt down already, that indicated the existence of people living there in the small hunter´s village.

Making their way down to the main building, with their fingers still entwined, Lightning followed her companion past the market place now abandoned and over to that small path that led down to where she knew now lay Caius Ballad´s hut.

She didn´t mind the detour.

She didn´t feel like returning to Cara´s hut at all.

Her hand...

Caius Ballad hadn´t let go of it.

Not even for a second.

Had held on to it ever since he´d found the courage to interlace his fingers with her´s and somehow Lightning didn´t mind, found that she enjoyed it even, the feeling of his skin on her´s, the way his strong hand looked around her´s giving her a feeling of protection, of safety.

It was strange...

The tought of feeling protected by the only person that would really cause her harm.

By that person who´d become her killer.

If he could only protect her from himself...

Hastily shoving those disturbing thoughts away, Lightning forced herself to focus on the presence once again.

Following her companion down the small pebbly path, the fact that they weren´t going back to Cara´s hut not bothering her in the slightest, she just focused on the feeling of his warm strong hand around her´s.

Was there still a spark of hope for them?

Could she allow herself to stay here with Caius...

Just for a little while.

Stay here with him in the Archylte Steppe...

The two of them.

Together?

How would it feel like to be more than just his companion, just his friend?

How would it feel like to just lean in and kiss him?

How would it feel like to share a bed with him, to wake up next to him, to fall asleep beside him?

How would it feel like if she gave all this a chance?

Could she allow herself to even think about this?

Could she allow herself to even consider this?

What kind of consequences would await her, if she really had the guts to give this a try?

What exactly would happen to the timeline?

Yeul had said there was no way she could possibly change the outcome.

That actually, no matter what she did, things would eventually lead right back to where they had started...

Back to where everything had once begun.

But where was this exactly.

And how was this even possible?

Her and Caius being friends, being more than friends even...

These were things that clearly interfered with history as she knew it.

If Caius Ballad was in love with her, what reason was there for him to fight her, to even kill her in the future?

No that definitely sounded nothing like the timeline she once knew...

Oh what kind of horrors would await her should she dare to give in to this?

What kind of paradoxes would she create?

Constants and variables...

Lightning didn´t know.

Was it even worth a try?

Maybe...

Or maybe not.

Somehow she wasn´t sure.

Reaching the tiny clearing right infront the guardian´s hut, with the glowing embers of a burnt down fire, the remainders from last dinner, offering their cozy warmth, the two of them silently settled down in front of it.

Something didn´t feel quite right.

The awkward way her purple haired companion was playing with her fingers now, the fact that ever since they had returned to the village, Caius´ mood had seemed to darken considerabely, the fact that the naturally rather talkative male was being uncharacteristically quiet, it didn´t escape the pink haired warrior´s notice.

She could´t help but wonder what was on his mind.

Now that she even let him hold her hand, she thought that it would make him happy.

At least a tiny bit.

But somehow her actions seemed to have provoked the opposite instead.

His behaviour, it made no sense.

No sense at all.

Unsure of what to say, the pink haired warrior, she just patiently watched him, let him play with her fingers until finally she couldn´t bear it anymore.

„Caius... What is it?" she just broke the silence.

The quiet man right next to her, he only gave a tiny shrug.

„Come on. I can tell there´s something bothering you..." she tried persistently.

She really had no idea what this could be about.

Whatever it was though, she dearly hoped it wasn´t about that stupid kiss again.

The purple haired guardian giving a devastated sigh, taking his time tracing the knuckles of every single of her fingers with his slightly larger thumb, it took quite a while until finally he felt ready to look up at her again.

„Yeul..." he finally revealed.

That single name there coming from his lips, for Lightning it came like a blow, suddenly and unexpected, made her emit a tiny barely audible gasp.

She had been prepared for a lot of things...

Anything, but certainly not this.

„Back there at Paddra... Back after you pushed me away and vanished in the crowd, I went back inside to talk to her..." the guardian continued.

His voice was soft and his eyes suddenly insecure.

That revelation of his, it only made his companion´s eyes dilate and her mouth gape open in some sort of weird apprehension.

Yes...

It was already there.

That bad taste of foreboding somewhere at the back of her tongue.

Yeul...

Caius Ballad had been talking to Yeul.

Of course.

How could she have been so preoccupied she hadn´t noticed...

Suddenly there were a million questions, racing through her tortured mind.

What had the seeress told him?

What did Caius Ballad know?!

And more importantly: Why hadn´t he brought this up earlier?

Was he keeping something from her?

Something important?

„It was weird really." the guardian went on.

„She didn´t tell me anything I came to ask. Nothing at all. She said she had been `dying´ to speak to me instead... She... She asked me to become her guardian..." his voice trailing off at the last part, those last few words made him look up, his handsome face suddenly haunted, indecisive.

The pink haired warrior´s eyes going huge, to an extend that one might fear that they´d be popping out of their soccets - that underlying sadness creeping it´s way onto her features, it didn´t go unnoticed by the attentive hunter.

Already?

Yeul had asked him to become her guardian already?!

Etro´s fallen champion, she didn´t know what she had been thinking exactly.

Of course she knew it had to happen someday.

Knew there was no way around.

Still, she somehow had figured there would still be time, that it wouldn´t happen until some far away time in the future, a safe long distance of years away.

Not today.

Not tomorrow.

And definitely not several days ago!

Why in Etro´s name did it have to happen already?!

„Are you going to accept?"

It was a stupid question, really.

She already knew the answer of course.

Knew what was about to happen.

Knew what inevitably would ensue.

Her eyes trained downwars to the ground, she didn´t find it in her to even look at him.

„It´s not that easy..." the guardian explained, releasing an exhausted tiny huff.

„I would have to proove myself worthy in a duel... Assuming I´d win... Well it´s actually an honour."

Yes an honour.

And what an honour it was.

To become the one destined to destroy the world...

It would be an honour indeed.

„I guess.." the pink haired woman managed to choke out, her gaze still trained to her feet, her hand still resting safely inside his, the purple haired guardian, he settled back on tracing tiny circles on the sensitive back of her hand.

Risking a glimpse into his companion´s pale blue eyes he found them drowning in a sea of sadness.

„You already know what will happen." he suddenly said.

It wasn´t a question.

Felt more like stating a fact.

And the realisation of it, the realisation that it was true and the understanding of what that truth implied, it instantly sent a cold shiver running down Caius Ballad´s spine, made the blood in his veins turn to ice.

„Yes." the timetraveller admitted.

Mustering the courage to briefly look at him, she only gave a tiny nod, before hastily she made to look away again.

He wouldn´t let her.

Extending his hand to gently cup her face, he carefully let his fingers trace her jawline, all the way down to her chin, where careful not to hurt her, he made her look up again.

The tiny intimate gesture making her skin erupt in goosebumps, Etro´s fallen champion had no choice but to obediently meet his gaze.

„Why is this saddening you so much?" the purple haired hunter asked tentatively. His dark armethyst eyes clued to her´s, Lighning only gave a frustrated tiny shake of her head.

„Why can´t you tell me?!" the confused male pressed. The words coming out maybe a tad bit more aggressive than he had intended, that behaviour of his, it only made her turn away from him, made her remove her hand from inside his, breaking the hard earned body contact.

„I can´t tell you, Caius Ballad, because if I did, it would unmistakebaly alter the timeline! And I can´t risk that..." she almost snapped at him.

It was a lie of course.

She knew that it would happen anyway.

Still there was no way she was going to tell him.

No way she was going to fill him in.

The dark clad hunter´s eyes studying the mystery of a woman in front of him, he only watched as her almost desperate expression shifted into one of her carefully controlled masks again.

It had no effect on him though.

He could see right through it now, right through that marble facade she always tried to put up, could see the underlying pain beneath it, could see that even talking about this pained her, pained her a lot.

And he saw how much effort it took her, how hard she had to fight to not break down in tears again just like she had that night back in the Yaschas Massif.

And he couldn´t bear to look at her.

To watch this any longer.

No.

A decision had to be made...

Now.

„I´ll go straight back to Yeul and quit." the guardian suddenly said out of the blue.

Making to get up, he was on his feet in no time and ready to take down the main road again.

„NO!"

The pink haired female up on her legs as well in the blink of an eye, she caught up with him in what could have been only seconds. Reaching out with one of her hands to quickly catch his shoulder, it was a little out of breath, that she made him turn around to face her.

„No..." she said again in a much more gentle tone. Fighting to control her voice this time, it was looking up at him with big pleading eyes that grabbing his right hand in both of her´s, she pulled him back towards her.

„Please..." she breathed, giving his hand a desperate tiny squeeze.

Caius didn´t get it, didn´t understand.

Not even in the slightest.

„There´s no way I´m going to leave you here!" he just insisted.

And it was true.

There was no way he was going to join the seeress, no way he was going to move to Paddra.

No way he was going to leave her behind here.

Her...

The only one who mattered.

No way was he going to leave her for a silly little girl, spiritual leader of the Farseers or not.

But the pink haired warrier in front of him, she only shook her head.

„You have to become her guardian Caius. You have to!" she suddenly urged.

„You will..."

The indecisive male sighing in frustration, he somehow couldn´t think of anything to say.

What was it that she wanted him to do exactly?!

That woman standing right in front of him, why was she telling him to leave when everything else, her eyes, her facial expression, her gestures were begging him to stay?

Because yes.

She wanted him to stay.

He could sense it, clearly see it.

Why was she trying to push him away like that?

„Caius promise me!" she was almost begging now, or maybe she was, as she panickingly tugged on his hand to try and make him look at her.

„Promise me you will become Yeul´s guardian!"

Her voice suddenly rising in pitch, her breathing suddenly irregular and panicky, Caius Ballad still couldn´t bring himself to look at her.

She didn´t care.

Lunging forward she suddenly grabbed his face, forcing him to meet her gaze.

„Promise me!" she almost yelled at him.

Her beautiful pale blue eyes fearful now, Caius Ballad had a hard time resisting the urge to just wrap her in his arms again.

She was loosing control again...

Was dangerously close again.

Felt those raging tides of Chaos reaching out for her again.

„Lightning... I..."

She had the front of his shirt grabbed threateningly and her eyes narrowed at him dangerously in the blink of an eye. Had the dark soft fabric clutched inside her fists, was giving it a violent rather brutal yank.

„Promise me!" the ex soldier growled, her eyes narrowed into tiny menacing slits, Caius Ballad completely perplexed at her sudden outburst, he couldn´t do much else but give in.

„Alright! Alright... I promise." he said in a somewhat timid voice, as taking a tiny step away from her, he brought up both his hands in an universal gesture of surrender.

The feisty female though, she didn´t seem eager to give him a break yet.

„Say it!" She urged, as ignoring his capitulation, she gave his shirt another sudden tug.

„Say what?!" the guardian contered in confusion.

„That you will become Yeul´s guardian!" She spat at him.

„Okay... Okay..." He said appeacingly, as trying to difuse the situation, he carefully made to disentangle his shirt from the woman´s clawing fingers.

„I promise you, that I will become Yeul´s guardian..." he finally whispered somewhat defeatedly.

The pink haired female mercifully letting go from his shirt, looking up at him for a tiny moment longer, the dark clad hunter found those beautiful pale blue eyes swimming in tears again.

Seeing her like this once more, it instantly made him want to hug her, made him want to protect her, made him wish he somehow could take that pain away, away from the pretty female´s features.

Reaching out to put his arms on both her shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting way, Caius Ballad couldn´t help but try and press some further.

„Lightning... What is going to happen?! Why does this sadden you so much?!"

He needed to ask her.

Needed to know.

He had a right to know after all.

She just had to tell him.

She couldn´t leave him in the dark forever.

And certainly not now that finally they had this conversation...

The pink haired time traveller though, she didn´t seem to share his opinion.

Not even in the slightest.

Shaking her head in denial, she just made to avert her gaze.

Yes.

Of course she wanted him to stay.

Wanted him to quit.

To just stay here in the Archylte Steppe.

To just not become the seeress´ guardian.

She wanted it.

Wanted it badly.

She knew exactly how it would destroy him.

How it would destroy everything.

But it was no use.

She just had to let him go.

He had to become Yeul´s guardian.

He would.

It had already happened.

Or she wouldn´t be here in the first place.

She knew that.

Knew all of that.

Knew that there was no way to prevent any of it.

But why...

Why did it have to happen this early?!

Why did it have to happen so soon?!

Their eyes locked in one of those intense stares again, the pink haired warrior´s eyes unwavering, narrowing just the slightest, looking at his confused face, she realised she felt pity there.

Pity for him.

Pity for the purple haired male standing there in front of her.

Yes...

Whatever he would do in the future, whatever he had done in her past, he didn´t deserve to become what she knew he was about to become.

The monster she had encountered in Valhalla...

There had been nothing left of the Caius she had met here, had come to get to know here in this godforsaken place.

The man she had met there in the future, only little more that a shadow, there had been nothing left inside of him, nothing but hatred and pain and grief.

He had been nothing but an empty shell...

How in Etro´s name was she supposed to watch?!

Watch him become that monster?

Watch him descend the path that would lead him all the way to Valhalla, would lead to the both of them becoming mortal enemies?

How was she supposed to just let it happen?

How was she supposed to let him become the man that one day would destroy the world?

She couldn´t.

She just couldn´t.

And the second that that thought occured to her, she instantly knew that it was true.

She couldnt.

Wouldn´t be able to, not in a thousand years.

She knew this was bad.

Really bad.

And what made it even worse was the fact that he didn´t even want to.

He didn´t want to become Yeul´s guardian in the first place.

He had said it.

And she could see it, sense it, feel it, in almost everything he did.

In the way talked, in the way he moved, in the way he fucking looked at her!

He wanted to stay.

Wanted to stay here with her.

And it was her...

Had been her all along.

She was the one who had to do it.

She was the one to give him that final push, to send him down that path that would inevitable lead to the destruction of the world.

Of space and time.

Of all things.

It was her...

Her who made him the man he would become.

Her who had to set everything into motion.

Her who had to put her signature at the bottom of the whole world´s death warrant.

Of Serah´s.

Of Snow´s.

Of everyone´s.

And the realisation of it was killing her.

Was kiling her inside.

Shattering her already broken heart into a thousand tiny pieces, a million tiny fragments, shards, a little more with every single breath she took.

No she couldn´t watch this.

Couldn´t do this any longer.

It was her presence here that had triggered all those horrible events and she shuddered to think about what would happen should she stay there any longer.

Shuddered to think of how much further her actions would corrupt the timeline.

Of how much further she would twist it.

Yes.

She needed a way out of this.

A way to escape this...

This nightmare she had gotten herself lost inside.

„Lightning?"

The guardian´s voice making her snap out of her desperate thoughts, the once fierce ex soldier, she instantly had her gaze dart upwards to meet those worried amethyst eyes again.

Her icy pools of blue, suddenly panicky, desperate again, Caius Ballad felt his heart give a painful tiny twinge.

He didn´t like the way this topic had upset her.

Not at all.

The way his words affected her.

Why did she want him to become the seeress´guardian?

Why was this so important to her?

Why was it making her so terribly sad?

Caius Ballad couldn´t fathom.

Looking at the pretty female´s pained sad features, for a tiny moment there, the purple haired guardian contemplated hugging her again, but thinking twice, he finally decided against it.

She might not want him to.

Especially not now that he had gotten her worked up again.

No...

He´d rather not risk it.

Slowly letting go of her shoulders, he carefully made to take her hand instead.

She had allowed him to hold it before...

„It´s okay... We don´t have to talk about it." he whispered, giving the small limp hand inside his a soothing squeeze.

„I won´t push you." he promised in his low calming voice, before giving her a tiny gentle tug, he brought both their hands up to take a look at them.

The pink haired woman staring up at him with huge blue eyes, Caius Ballad´s gaze wandering to their interwoven fingers, his companion´s hand so much smaller compared to his, he couldn´t help but think it looked so good, the way it rested there inside his own.

„If you think you shouldn´t tell me, than maybe I´m really better off not knowing..."

The understanding male giving his opposite a small assuring smile, it was only a moment later that Lightning felt to soft touch of his lips pressing against the back of her hand, felt them brush against her knuckles as he was tracing tiny kisses there, every single one of them leaving a warm tingling sensation behind, his eyes never ever left hers, not even for a tiny second.

Lightning didn´t move.

Couldn´t move it fact.

Yes sure...

There was something inside of her telling her, screaming at her, to pull away, but somehow...

With her heart suddenly beating wildly in her ribcage and that strange fluttery sensation spreading in her chest again, with the soft touch of her companion´s lips against her skin so infinitely pleasant, soothing...

Somehow she just couldn´t bring herself to draw away.

„I trust you." she felt the guardian whisper against the back of her hand, his lips lingering on her skin for just a little longer, she instantly knew the same applied to her.

Knew that she trusted him as well...

Trusted him with her life even.

Him...

Caius Ballad...

The man who´d kill her.

Had killed her there so many times...

Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to be with him.

To just be close to him.

To feel his skin underneath her fingers, to feel his lips there on her own.

And she knew it was crazy and selfish and insane...

And she didn´t even want to begin to think about how much that would actually affect the timeline...

But still...

If it didn´t matter what she did...

Why shouldn´t she just give in?

Give in to her emotions?

Her longings?

Her needs?

Give in to that invisible cord, inevitable drawing them towards each other.

Why couldn´t she allow herself a few moments of bliss, of paradise...

Their gazes locked in anticipation, in some weird kind of crazy stare, their faces only inches from another, Etro´s fallen champion, engaged in rough internal battle, feeling so infinitely torn, suddenly so infinitely tired of fighting, of trying to control her thoughts, it was exhaling a small exhausted sigh, that she just chose to close her eyes.

Who was this man?!

This man she had met here in this long forgotten past...

The man from Valhalla, the guardian?

Or just Caius?

Some random hunter.

Just an ordinary man.

Some guy.

Her´s...

Suddenly she didn´t know anymore.

Wasn´t sure anymore.

It was there inside of him, that madman, that monster, slumbering inside of him somewhere deep down his still mortal heart.

She had seen it.

Had seen glimpses of it.

Had been on the receiving end of his wrath more often than she could remember...

Why was he going to do all this to her...

How could he possibly do all those terrible things to her...

How could he fight her and hurt her and kill her...

How ?!

Oh Serah... What am I doing?!

She needed this to stop.

Needed to get out of there.

To leave.

She should never have come back here to the village in the first place.

Ever!

She knew that now.

Understood it now.

Saw it now.

And it was with a soft pained whimper that she tore herself away, pulling her hand free from inside her companion´s gentle grasp, before just brushing past him, she darted off into the wilderness.


You don´t understand what I am doing now,

but someday you will.

- John 13:7


Just breathe.


So guys... Finally you reached the end of this terribly long chap. I hope you liked at least some part of it.

I´m really sorry if there are a lot of spelling/grammar errors in the last few scenes. I really got incredibly tired when doing my final proofread. Don´t worry I will come back to read through this later. I just didn´t want to keep this chapter from you any longer.

So about support...

I received a lot of nice reviews on the last chap. Thank you guys! It really meant a lot to me!

I really appreciate every single one of them and I keep reading through them everytime I feel discouraged writing on a tricky part of the next chap.

Always!

At this point I have to give special thanks again to my two most faithful readers:

XxShyxX again of course. You can thank her for the fishing scene;)

And Alju who helped me out a lot those past few days.

Huge thanks to the both of you!

I don´t think I would have been able to write this chap without any of you.

You really keep me going.

I really hope to receive some feedback on this chap as well, although I can understand if you guys are some kind of angry with me for putting you on wait so long. Please forgive me!

It would make me so happy to read from you.

Also, I actually have good news concerning update Intervalls becauuuuse... I have most parts of the remaining chapters already finished^^

So fortunately there won´t be any awfully long waits out there for you anymore;)

You can expect an update about every two weeks now.

And yes... we are nearing the ending with big fast strides.

So please stay tuned for the next part.


HUGE THANKS FOR READING! YOU ARE AWESOME!