Hi guys! yeah it is me! i'm so sorry i havent updated in a while...i didn't use my laptop so much so...anyway i don't know about this chapter...anyway i'll see you down there :)
Disclaimer: i don't own the characters just the plot!
Chapter 10
BPOV
Time flies when you grieve. It may seem like it doesn't but it does. Even if you feel like you're the one that died inside.
When I saw Edward at my threshold I thought it was one of my dreams again. I couldn't believe my eyes. And when he told me he was real I was ecstatic. All these weeks that we didn't talk and that I was a wreck didn't matter anymore because he was here. My angel had come to see me.
So I ran to him and I hugged him, locking my legs around his waist, keeping him prisoner to me. But then the tears started to fall and I couldn't help myself from screaming at him for all these weeks that he kept himself from me.
But Edward being Edward, he managed to calm me in no time and he held me in his arms. We spent the evening catching up. It was heaven again, just the two of us, in my room, like there was no world outside.
But then, he just had to ask the one thing that could destroy my heaven.
"Oh hey, my mom mentioned a Black boy? Who's he?"
"Jacob? Oh, I haven't had the time to tell you about him have I? Jacob is kinda…one of my friends. We're close. He's the only one that can make me feel nice when I miss you." I said trying to be nonchalant.
In reality, Jacob was like a brother to me. When we were little, we used to play together but then we stopped. So when I saw him again I was happy and we got talking and we just bonded again. So every time that I would feel like shit, Jacob would help me get through it. We were inseparable. But then, one night everything had to change.
I was in Jacob's garage, helping him with his car. He liked fixing cars and he was building his own.
"Bella, I have something I want to tell you…" Jacob had said.
Oh no…nothing good comes out of those words.
"Yeah Jake, what is it?"
"Well, I know that you think of me as a friend and you are my best friend too. All this time we've been hanging out, it was the best time of my life. But I have to tell you this. I love you Bella." he said, looking me in the eyes.
I didn't think anything out of it. I loved Jacob too.
"I love you too Jake."
"No, you don't understand. I'm in love with you Bella." he said and he came closer to kiss me.
My brain began working and just before he leaned I pushed him away.
"I'm sorry Jake I….I can't do this…I'm sorry." I said and I run.
So I had left things with Jake a little awkward. I should talk to him again, he's my best friend here after all.
But I couldn't tell Edward yet. He would be mad. I think.
I saw the look on Edward's face so I continued.
"You haven't been here for months Edward. I was a rack, I still am. But when I'm with Jacob, I'm okay. Not healed, just okay. He helps me and I love him for that. He's the best friend I have after you, of course." I explained.
"Oh really? Well then, I'm glad someone is here to take care of you when I'm not." He said fake smiling. Could he be jealous?
"Yeah, well, you have Tanya there and she helps you. I'm just lucky I found Jacob." I said.
"I guess you are." He said through greeted teeth. I could see he was trying to hold something back but I couldn't put my finger on it so when he changed the subject to our meadow I was glad.
So I spent the rest of the days with Edward, doing whatever came to our minds and I didn't even notice when the days passed. But then, it happened.
"I kissed Tanya" Edward blurted out as we were in my room sitting on my bed.
Wait, what? He did what? I was so shocked I couldn't even move. Of course he would like Tanya. I was so stupid to think just for a second, that he might be interested in me, plain old Bella. That maybe our kiss meant to him what it meant to me. Silly Bella for thinking that.
"She was on the plane with me and I went to say goodbye to her and she hugged me and then kissed me. I don't know how it happened Bella, everything happened so quick. I didn't even have time to push her away. I was frozen. She said that she loved me and that she was sorry and she left." He continued.
I didn't want to hear anymore. But I had to be strong.
"Well, do you love her?" I said on the verge of tears.
"Well, yeah I love her. But only as a friend. Nothing more Bella, I promise."
Yeah, as friends. He loved her. She would throw herself at him when they were alone and he wouldn't be able to resist and then….then it's all over.
As it was time for confessions I decided to tell Edward about Jacob.
"Jacob told me he loved me. And not as a friend." I said.
"What?" he said angrily. Well, that ticked him off.
"And to think I was so fucking stupid because I felt guilty about this. You're such a hypocrite Edward! You can go and fucking kiss this Tanya and then you get angry when I tell you what Jacob said!" I shouted, letting my tears fall.
"It's not the same Bella! Can't you see? You're just…"
"What Edward? What? I'm not good enough for someone to love me? I'm too young? Just for once Edward tell me what the fuck you're thinking!"
He was pissing me off right now and I couldn't think anything besides that.
"No Bella! you are not good enough! You are perfect and this guy doesn't deserve you! And yes, you are too young! Is that what you want to hear?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. After all this time…his opinion about me was this? That I'm too young to be with someone and too immature?
"Geez, thanks Edward. I'm glad to know that's how you feel. Well then, maybe I don't want to be friends with someone that feels that way!" The words were out of my mouth before I was able to control myself and I regretted it instantly. I was ready to apologize when he spoke.
"I was thinking the same thing. Goodbye Bella." he said and he left. He just fucking left.
Edward didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I had ruined our relationship and now he's gone. He's really gone.
I didn't even realize when I started sobbing and I was crying so hard my body was having spasms. I eventually cried myself to sleep and I had a nightmare about Edward leaving and I woke up screaming and found Alice next to me, trying to calm me.
Christmas came and passed and Edward didn't even come home for the holidays. I had tried to call him but each time I picked up the phone, tears would come and I wouldn't be able to go through with it. Who knows if I'll see him again after I graduate. I had found my soul mate and I had lost him because of a silly fight. Every passing day I regret the things I said and I wonder if Edward feels the same.
My chest felt empty. Like there was a huge hole in it that couldn't be mended no matter how hard I tried. At nights, Alice slept with me so I wouldn't have nightmares but they always came. Everyone at school thought I was even weirder now but surprisingly my grades didn't drop. I overheard Alice talking to Esme on the phone one night and she told her that I wasn't myself anymore and that everything I did, I did it mechanically. Everyone was so worried about me but I couldn't think about that right now. I couldn't think about anything. I didn't even went to see Esme, not because I didn't want to or I was mad but because I just couldn't.
About six months after Ed….Edward…left I found myself in Jacob's house, hanging out with him like nothing at all happened between us. No awkwardness. Of course, he could see I wasn't myself and he tried talking to me about it but every time he did I would be on the verge of tears and he would change the subject.
When I was with him it was like I was ok. Not like I was before but just okay. I didn't think about him when I was with Jacob and I guess it was a good think. Every day I would spend it with him and I even met his friends. I considered him my best friend in the world but I guess he had other ideas.
"Bella, I know we're best friends and I love it but I every day, I feel like my love for you grows and I can't stand just being friends with you. I want something more Bella. I told you before and I'm gonna say it again…I love you." He said one day when we were out at a diner. He then reached for my hand while looking at me in the eyes.
I just stood there, not knowing what to say. After many moments of silence Jacob said "So? Say something, please."
I didn't know what to say to him. Did I feel that way for Jacob? Do I love him? Well, yeah of course I love him, but do I love him enough for that? If I didn't know Edward I'm sure he would be the one I would be with. And I know that maybe it wasn't the right choice but I said "I love you too Jacob. And I want to…be..more than friends with you too." I didn't know why I decided this. I think I did it because I thought I would never see Edward again. He was gone.
The look on Jacob's face was priceless. His whole face light up and he picked me up in the tightest hug. I just stood there unmoving and let him hug me.
When I went home my whole family knew what happened. So Jacob was so excited huh? My sister didn't seem so happy about that but she didn't say anything and I didn't talk when my father asked me about it. I just went straight to my bed and thought about what happened tonight and what I'm going to do next. Survive I guess, and try to make Jacob happy. He deserves it. He has always been there for me and I can be the right girl for him.
Everything continued as it is. I was with Jacob and everyone knew. He would kiss me and I would kiss him back but each time Edward's face came to my mind and I stopped. From the outside we would seem like the perfect couple and I really fell in love with Jacob in the long run but I always felt like something was missing.
Time went by so quickly. Two years. I have been with Jacob for two whole years now and my senior year was beginning. I would be seventeen in a few days. Nothing had changed. Alice went to college with jasper and Emmett was with Rosalie. He proposed a couple of months back and she said yes. Everything in my life went smoothly. You could say I had the perfect life. A boyfriend and a family who loved me, good grades, perfect friends…what else could I ask for, right? Yeah right…
It's been two years since I last saw Edward.
oook that was it...i'm sorry to those of you who didn't want bella to be with jacob but i promise i have a reason for it..and also i knew i went forward two years but we need to see edward and bella together soon, don't we? ;) please review and tell me what you think about this chapter cause i don't think it's any good...:p
