LAST
There was a pause and then
Shuichi looked right at his mother.
"I'm such a stupid son."
LAST
ELEVEN
"What's on your mind Shuichi?"
The red head turned to face his mother and smiled politely. "Nothing of any importance mother. Why do you ask?"
Shiori smiled at her son and went back to fixing the tea. Shuichi had managed to pull off an interesting meal for lunch. It hadn't escaped her eyes on how different her son was on his return—and not just his skills of preparing new dishes.
She could see his eyes wandering with his thoughts, a very relaxed look for Shuichi. Then as if realizing something, his emerald eyes would snap to attention and immediately glance to the calendar. Was it possible this was the new tone she caught in his voice? He called, giving her brief assurances he was fine over in the States. His tone had changed and she could only fully hear it now when her son sat before her.
"You sound at ease before falling into a sense of unease."
Shuichi tilted his emerald eyes up to see his mother better. "Please don't be troubled mother; I'm not anxious at all. Why would I be anxious coming home to see you?"
"Hm." She set down the cup of tea before Shuichi, sitting down with her own. She smiled. "I think you are more anxious about leaving someone behind."
He froze and forced out a laugh. "Mother, what makes you say that?"
She smiled across the table and reached out to hold his hand. "The tone of your voice carries a new affection and tenderness to it. Your eyes are looking outside and dreaming of some other place. Sweetie, who ever this person is, it is a good thing. You have always been so independent that I feared you would never fall in love. You're such a sweet boy and as my son I want to see you happy. You've always seemed so…forlorn."
Shuichi smiled gently at his mother. "I'm not in love mother. It's just…I promised someone that I would stay there."
He tore his eyes away from his mother, remembering how Kennedy told him she needed to go. Her sad tone when stating she should always be fine, her lack of hope in life. How his arms had followed the instructions of his head and how chilly his chest had felt as she stood up, walking away. He couldn't tell his mother the guilt he felt visiting back home. The remorse he had for leaving the new Malone household. The sorrow for especially Kennedy, who was very possibly hurt at a young age for taking on too much responsibility and he wanted…
"It's not complicated as people make it seem Shuichi. Love is natural."
"No, we're both far too independent for that. Friends, perhaps."
His mother smiled and drew back to take a sip of her tea. Her Shuichi was too independent. He hadn't even realized he had already fallen for this other person. They were obviously close, despite his note on the independence from both. And she doubted her oblivious son had realized the longing laced inside his last words.
Not to mention that Pocky Shuichi had stashed inside his traveling bag. Shuichi was not a Pocky person.
"Mother?"
"Yes Shuichi?"
Shuichi eyed his cup of tea, still untouched since his mother set it down for him. As far as mothers went, he rather thought his mother was an incredible woman. She was very patient with him. Amazingly, she was never one to become angry but rather to worry over him. She always found the smallest of ways to take care of him, such as making him tea. He looked up to see her wonderful smile, that calm and soothing smile. Of course, Shuichi was biased when it came to his mother, but she was an incredible woman.
"Mother, what if I wasn't born so independent? How would you have raised me? I would have to be independent at some time in my life after all."
"I'd raise you just the same. With care and patience as you learned from your mistakes, becoming who you would become. You're my Shuichi, my son."
Shuichi finally reached down to finger his cup of tea and then drew his hand back. There was a pause as he looked at the cup. On the other side of the table, his mother frowned and set her own cup of tea down. Something else was clearly bothering him. Was he troubled or filled with some sort of regret at how independent he was in his childhood? It wasn't something he should be so concerned about at this age.
"Your independence is part of you Shuichi. You are too young to regret how I may have been hurt by your independence. I cannot be hurt by how you preferred doing things yourself; it is part of what makes you my son and why I love you so much."
The red head jerked his head up; anxious at how his mother took his questions.
"No, no. I've long since worried about that mother."
Shuichi trailed off and glanced down to his mother's scared hands.
"It's strange though," he pondered out loud. "You fear that my falling in love would not happen due to how independent I've always been. I have not fallen if love, so I suppose your fear is still there, but… Well, I've been looking back lately and can see how over time I opened up to people. I think you're to blame for that mother."
"Oh?" Shiori drew back as a smile of embarrassment fell on her lips. "Well, that's a nice thing to be blamed for."
Shuichi chuckled and picked up his cup of tea. After a sip, he set the cup down thoughtfully.
"I just think I am anxious about someone because of that very reason. It brings me to focus on it, pondering why. If when I was younger, you had forced independence onto me, would I be open to people like I am today?"
A soft look fell onto her face and she covered Shuichi's hand gently with her own. "You can't do anything about how this person was raised. The most you can do is be there, be patient and don't force them to open up to people."
There was a pause and then Shuichi looked right at his mother. "I'm such a stupid son."
"Shuichi! You are not a stupid son!"
The red head sighed. "Yes I am. With all my over thinking this lately, I should have realized how you dealt with my independence. I should have followed what I was raised with. Instead, I do the exact opposite. I lose patience and order 'open up around people'. Then I think I finally do the right thing and then leave. I should have followed the feeling of staying there so she couldn't keep the fear of becoming close to people. I should have stayed instead of keeping my promise of visiting back home."
Shuichi froze, alarm on his face. "Not to say I didn't miss you mother, it's just I did promise someone to stay there."
His mother laughed. "You haven't caught on yet, have you Shuichi?"
He appeared puzzled at her question. However, she was pleased over the matter. Shuichi was independent and very oblivious. She distinctly heard 'she' and his guilt over leaving the girl was obvious. There must be some attraction between her son and this girl if he was worried about her. He at least cared about her, even if he did not love her or look at her in that way.
"I'm glad you came home Shuichi, but I'm not going to be the reason you aren't where you want to be right now. Go ahead, go back. Collect your things from the hotel, go back and keep your word, and make sure you keep calling your dear old mother." Shuichi shook his head with a smile when she said 'old'. "Just make sure you write down that meal you made for lunch before you go."
"I will." He set the empty tea cup down and rose from his chair. "Thanks for making me the tea mother."
Somehow, Shiori got the distinct idea he was actually thanking her. She finished her tea, glad her permission for him to continue being independent went well. Shuichi always had been dependent on what his mother thought, even if he never recognized it. He'd always be her son after all.
But if he'd become someone's husband too, she would be ecstatic.
To be continued…
