Chapter Ten: Lose Control

Shinji sat on the bed, his legs pulled up and under him despite the dull pain that continued to pound his fragile body. He had lost consciousness soon after Jian went into the apartment block and did not know what had happened. He had woke here and hadn't been told anything by the two men guarding the door. 'Here' was a small room in an apartment in the Chinese part of the city. Outside Shinji could hear the noise from the traffic and foreign voices calling to each other. He was on the second floor and the room he was in only contained a bed. The mattress was hard and there was only a fleece throw on top of it, and no pillows. A tray sat on the floor near the door and contained some kind of noodle dish and a glass of water. Shinji had drank from the glass but had refused the food. His stomach turned over each time he thought of Sho and what had happened. His words from before were said in anger and Shinji was still angry.

He wanted Kei gone. He wanted the vampire to leave them to get on with their lives. Why couldn't Sho see that he was a poison to them? Kei was holding Sho back and Sho let him. Shinji knew why, he knew that Sho loved Kei but it was a misguided love. Vampires weren't capable of such an emotion, Shinji tried telling himself but in reality he was terrified that Kei would one day return Sho's feelings. All his life Shinji had wanted to protect Sho and Sho couldn't see that. Then there had been the drugs and Shinji's addiction had pretty much destroyed any relationship he might have had with Sho. His brother was virtually a stranger to him now and this pained Shinji more than anything.

The withdrawal was hitting him now, too. He craved the release that the drugs offered him and at the same time he fought it more than ever. He had to clean up his act, for Sho's sake more than his own. It was Shinji's fault that they were in this mess to start with and, as much as Shinji hated Kei, he hoped that the vampire had been able to save Sho at least.

A shout from outside the door snapped Shinji's attention back to reality and he looked up as gunshots followed. Seconds later the door burst open. Standing on the other side was the last person he expected to see.

"Son?" Shinji didn't know the Taiwanese man that well but he could tell from Son's expression that he had hoped to find Sho here.

He hid his almost disappointment quickly and crossed the room to help Shinji to his feet. As much as he hated to depend on anyone, Shinji accepted the help although he was unsure how his rescue had come to be.

Son did not say a word until they had cleared the building. There had been four men in total and Son had killed them all. His car was parked a few streets away and Shinji was stunned to see Yi-Che waiting in the passenger seat.

"You brought your sister here?" He asked in disbelief.

"I didn't have any choice," Son answered defensively. "We're all in danger. Toshi's gone over to Sho and Kei's. He's going to meet us back at mine. It's safer there."

Shinji nodded, wincing as more pain shot through his body. "How did you find me?"

"I have a couple of contacts who are unhappy with Chan's gang. They told me that they had seen you dragged up there," Son replied as he started the car. "Do you know where they took Sho?"

Shinji shook his head, again feeling guilty.

Son frowned with worry but masked this quickly with: "We'll get back to our apartment and Yi-Che can take a look at your wounds. As I said, Toshi's gone to see Kei."

"Kei's alive?" Shinji asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

"Yeah," Son confirmed, seemingly unsure of what to say next. Shinji also didn't want to comment on the vampire further. It seemed that neither of them knew of his part in this and Shinji wanted to keep it that way. He silently cursed Kei for escaping whilst Sho suffered in his place. The hatred that Shinji felt towards the vampire magnified now. If anything happened to Sho then Shinji would make sure that Kei suffered for it.


"Don't you ever grow tired?"

Kei flinched a little as Luka's posture straightened, becoming tense somehow as he considered this question. Yokohama winters were cold, even for them, and they had been walking for hours in the snow. Neither needed to feed and they were just out due to force of habit, or this was what Kei decided upon anyway. He didn't really mind. He enjoyed their night time strolls. Rarely were these devoid of the killing, of the need for blood and Kei enjoyed every moment. It was nights such as these that he could truly benefit from for there was an innocence about them somehow. It was after 2 in the morning, the snow lay undisturbed and there was no one else around. It was almost perfect, Kei had thought to himself. Almost perfect… until he had to ask that fated question.

Kei was very young for a vampire and would have just entered his thirties had he still been human. Like any youngster he was aware that he often made mistakes and said things that perhaps should remain unspoken of. He was still learning and, so Luka often hinted at, his innocence was meant to be appealing. Of course, when his mentor gave him a soft sigh and a heavy smile, Kei worried that he had spoken out of term or perhaps put his foot in it again. Luka rarely spoke of his past and Kei didn't know exactly what he was meant to be avoid, only that it hurt Luka and so should remain an unspoken memory.

"Tired of what?" Luka did choose to grant him a reply and Kei took this as permission to carry on.

"Of living. How many centuries can you see come and pass before you grow weary of it all?"

Luka smiled again, a half smile that was as much as he tended to permit himself to give away, showing his amusement but at the same time his fondness for the younger vampire and Kei sometimes wished he wouldn't. It made him feel like a child again.

Kei's question wasn't so much out of the blue. He had been contemplating for a while now, and the recent turn of the century had left him all the more curious.

"The twentieth century will see many changes," Luka was fond of his predictions, accurate or not, and Kei liked to humour him, even if he wasn't so sure himself. "Don't you want to see what humans can accomplish? Neither of us would ever see such things had we lived out our natural life spans. We wouldn't have even known each other."

Kei had often, when he was still human, wondered what the future would bring. A future that he himself had no hope of ever seeing, until now that was.

Instead of replying, Kei lit a cigarette and the two of them walked in silence for a few minutes until Luka spoke again.

"I expect I will grow tired one day," he said in answering to Kei's previous question. "And when that time comes…"

"What?" Kei asked when Luka left the sentence unfinished.

The older vampire shook his head, refusing to elaborate, "Nothing. Come on, we should head back soon."

Kei nodded, feeling a little unsettled at the words unspoken. This feeling, however, was not to last when Luka leaned over and plucked the cigarette from his fingertips.

"That was my last one," he complained as Luka placed it between his own lips. This protest was light-hearted, as Kei didn't mind really. He would have given Luka anything he wanted, not that he would tell the older man that – there was still so much that was left unspoken between them.

Kei smiled, feeling at ease again as the conversation once more became light-hearted. Yet he was to eventually discover what it would mean when a vampire grew tired of living and what it would mean for both of them when that day came.

When Kei woke he was disorientated as a result of his dream. Dreaming of Luka was always painful and, considering his current situation, the pain was magnified until a point when it was almost unbearable. He had not even realised that he had drifted off until he was snapped back into reality with the realisation that there was someone in his room.

He bolted up, a low growl working its way up from his throat before he had a chance to stop it. His fangs extended themselves and it was only upon hearing a familiar voice that he was drawn back into reality.

"Kei, sorry to startle you. I still had the spare key and let myself in, I hope that was okay?"

Toshi… it was Toshi…

Kei exhaled, feeling weak at the sound of his friend's voice and the vampire nature quietened once more. Although Toshi had intended his tone to be relaxed, Kei was aware that he had been speaking a little too quickly. Kei's reaction had scared him.

"No…" Kei placed a hand to his forehead, silently cursing himself and hating what he was even more so now. Had Toshi not spoken when he did then Kei might have gone for him. Gods what was wrong with him?

"No… it's fine," he elaborated quietly as he looked up to meet Toshi's concerned gaze. "Is everything okay?"

It was clear that Toshi was still uneasy and Kei remained seated, hoping to try and put him at ease somehow by staying where he was.

"Everything's fine but… Son and I were worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," Toshi ventured a little further into the room. "Look, Kei… I know we're not as strong as you but it doesn't mean that you have to fight alone. We want to help Sho, too."

Kei inwardly groaned at this. He didn't have the strength for this at the moment. "I know. Toshi--"

"I mean it. Sho and Shinji are my family. Don't keep me in the dark, Kei. I know that something's up."

Unfortunately, Toshi tended to be like a dog with a bone in the sense that once he got an idea into his head it was very difficult to get him to drop it and Kei couldn't afford to have him involved. They were not dealing with Chan's cronies any longer; these were the big boys now and Kei knew that Toshi would only get himself and the others killed if Kei allowed him to become involved.

"I know as little as you--" he started to say but Toshi hurriedly cut him off in a harried tone that Kei had never heard him use before.

"You're lying. Why did you leave Sho? You were with him when I left you. Why did you abandon him like that?"

"I didn't abandon him," Kei replied sharply.

"Then where is he, Kei?"

"I…" Kei trailed off, feeling the vampire growing restless once more. It tired of the conversation with Toshi and Kei could feel its irritation just below the surface once more. If Toshi didn't leave soon then Kei didn't know what would happen.

"I made a deal with Jian," he admitted finally, knowing that only the truth would quieten his friend. "If I do him a favour then he'll let Sho live."

"And what is this 'favour'?"

Kei shook his head, "I can't tell you, it would only put Sho further at risk."

Toshi was quiet, considering this for a moment and when he finally replied, Kei could tell that his friend was angry with him. "Okay, but if you need any help…"

"I'll be fine," Kei assured him.

Toshi left rather hurriedly after this and Kei was glad. He was finding it increasingly difficult to focus and when he heard the apartment door click shut he released a breath that he didn't realise that he had been holding.

What is wrong with me?

Kei honestly felt as though he was teetering on the edge and at any moment he would plunge right over it. He didn't know if Toshi had noted the change in him but he felt sure that his friend had been in little doubt that Kei had not been in control of himself for a couple of seconds when he had first woken up.

He had tried to rationalise the change in balance between the vampire and what remained of his humanity. He had tried crushing the vampire before, back when he was still relatively young but Luka had always been at his side and had helped him to get a feed so there was no question of him starving himself and, in those days, he hadn't really wanted to, not deep down. Kei understood that the vampire was not a separate entity but his instincts and was as much as a part of him as his human side. The two sides needed each other but right now his vampire side was trying to gain control over his human side. Perhaps going for so long without a feed had done something, something to tip the balance? It was the only explanation that Kei could think of but he was fast becoming out of control. He had fed and yet the vampire inside of him wanted more, it wanted to kill, to drink from a live victim and, with growing horror, Kei realised that it wanted Sho. The vampire loved Sho just as much as his human side did but the vampire's motives were selfish ones. It wanted to bind Sho to him, to make him stay with Kei forever. The vampire wanted to take Sho's humanity.

Kei felt sickened at this realisation and this, coupled with fear, was making him weak.

"I'm still in control," he whispered out loud, more to reassure himself than anything. He had to hold himself together long enough to kill Chan and then… then he would do whatever it took to protect Sho from himself.


For the rest of the day, Sho feigned sleep. He could tell that Dr Huang was still present and he had no wish to try and make conversation with the man who was forcing him to stay here. A couple of times there were others present, too. The men were part of Jian's gang, Sho supposed, come to check up on him no doubt. He kept his back to the doctor, thinking that perhaps the man could tell that he was awake had he been facing him. Sho had tried feigning sleep around Kei before but the vampire could always tell and thus Sho wasn't sure how good an actor he was. It paid to be cautious, especially at the moment when he was waiting for an opportunity to escape.

So far there hadn't been one. Dr Huang rarely left the room and Sho was undecided about the course of action that he should take. He wanted to escape, to try and find a way to help Kei but he could very well endanger Shinji if he wasn't careful. There was so much that he didn't know and this not knowing frightened him more almost. After all Kei had been so weak… what if he had…

Sho mentally winced, firmly crushing such a thought from his mind. Kei wouldn't let anything like that happen, not when Sho was in danger and needed him. Had circumstances been different, Sho's pride would not have allowed him to think that he needed Kei to save him, for he was more than capable of escape, but at present he needed something to cling to, to convince himself that Kei was fine.

The sound of the door opening once again broke through Sho's thoughts and he felt himself tense slightly, and thankfully this small movement went unnoticed.

"Is he still asleep?" came a voice, different from Dr Huang's.

A pause followed and then "Yes."

"I've had word from Jian. It is to happen tonight."

"Tonight? You are sure of this?"

"Jian seemed to think that he'd want to get the job done as soon as possible, considering what's at stake."

"I see. Have there been any instructions for the handover?"

"Not yet. Jian wants to make sure that he does the job properly before agreeing any terms."

Dr Huang was silent for a moment before replying, "And if things don't go according to plan?"

"Our instructions are to kill one of them."

They moved further away, to the door, and Sho stopped listening as panic began to set in. They were talking about Kei that he was sure of. They were using him and Shinji to force Kei into something and Sho intended on finding out what this was.

He forced himself to remain still, to wait until Dr Huang shut the door and silence followed, indicating that the man was alone again.

Sho was still unsure of whether or not his strength had returned but there was only one way to find out, he thought grimly. Taking Dr Huang by surprise, he sat up, moving as quickly as he could to get off the bed and slam the doctor up against the wall. This movement so quickly was not the best idea but Sho had the momentum and he was several heads taller than Dr Huang and this proved to be to his advantage now.

In a low voice, he demanded to know what was going on. Dr Huang shook his head at first and stubbornly refused to elaborate on the conversation that Sho had overheard, however, some carefully applied pressure to the doctor's neck forced him to reconsider.

Sho's blood ran cold at Dr Huang's words; that Kei was going to kill Chan in order to keep himself and Shinji from harm. His thoughts flashed back to the Kei of the passed couple of weeks and how unwell he was. In his normal state, Sho could not have doubted that Kei would kill Chan but things had changed. Kei was weaker and if he was caught… Sho didn't know what would happen. Kei said often enough, and somewhat bitterly, that he couldn't die from gunshot wounds but if he was too weak to heal himself…

His mind already made up Sho struck Dr Huang hard enough to render him unconscious. Thankfully there were no more guards and even if there had been, Sho wouldn't have allowed them to stop him. The moon was already rising and Sho knew that he was running out of time.

Kei…

All his thoughts were for the vampire and Sho ran from the hospital, not even acknowledging his body's requirement for him to take things easy for a little longer; only Kei mattered now.


Kei parked the car away from the Chinese District and, despite reservations; he decided to walk the rest of the way. Jian had supplied him with details of the hospital where Xiong was and various addresses that Chan could be residing at. He had already been to the hospital and now he was heading towards Chan's home.

Unlike their usual jobs, Kei felt apprehension for there was a lot more at stake than simply money and feeding. Sho's life depended on Kei now and he didn't intend on failing him.

Also unlike the usual jobs, Kei had come prepared. Whilst his fangs were the most deadly weapons he possessed, he did not want a trail leading back to him so he had also armed himself with mortal weapons. The guns that he had strapped to his waist had been taken from Sho's array of weaponry. He had also taken extra clips and hidden a knife in a strap on his left ankle. Not wanting to take the chance of standing out, Kei wore only black and kept to the shadows as he walked as well as choosing the back alleys were possible. It had been a long time since he had hunted, and had never set out to kill a man in cold-blood. Despite Chan being evil, Kei couldn't help but wonder if whether what he was doing was evil also. No, he shook his head as though to further convince himself. He was doing this for Sho; nothing else mattered.

His vampire nature had quietened since he set out. Satisfied with the prospect of a kill, the vampire was content to allow the human side of Kei to have control for now.

He lit a cigarette as he walked, the nicotine taking the edge off his anxiety. Kei hated feeling so out of control and had worried himself with the reasoning behind this for hours now. It had to be something to do with his refusal to feed. Luka had often warned him of such things, but Kei had not heeded his dead mentor's advice. Before Luka died, Kei felt the years to be more bearable. He and Luka had travelled together and then when they parted ways for a number of years, Kei was able to manage on his own. It was because he had known that he wasn't alone, that Luka was out there also. Then, when they finally met each other again, Kei had found that Luka had changed. Eternal life no longer held an interest for him and so he ended it, and tore Kei's heart out from his chest in the process.

Even with Sho he found it so difficult to muster the will to live. Living alone after Luka had died had been intolerable and Kei had welcomed how Sho made him feel. However, this was a double-edged sword for Sho was human and one day his life would come to an end.

In Mallepa lives tended to run their course much more quickly owing to the dangerous lifestyle that most of its population led. Kei had accepted this also, or so he thought, but he could not accept that this would include Sho, too. Kei had vowed long ago to protect him and that was what he would do now.

Chan's home was not how Kei had imagined it to be. It was a rather normal looking apartment block in one of the better parts of town. Still, despite this, there was graffiti on the brickwork and somewhere in the distance police sirens wailed. Trying to uphold the law in Mallepa was next to impossible and Kei never envied the ones who tried.

He double-checked the address against the one that Jian had given him; it was correct. Tossing down his cigarette, Kei scanned the building, looking for the best approach. Two men, both of whom were armed, guarded the front entrance. Quietly, Kei moved around to the rear of the building and saw that it also was guarded. He hadn't been foolish enough to think that Chan wouldn't take such precautions; in fact it made his job easier for now he knew for certain that Chan was inside.

Surveying the building, Kei saw that there was a fire escape on the first floor and a metal ladder leading down from it. Both doors, he would guess, would be protected by a number system and, even when threatened, Kei doubted that the guards would be willing to give him the code. The other problem was that Kei wasn't sure if he could kill both the guards without making any noise.

Keeping well within the shadows, Kei forced himself to observe them for a few minutes. They weren't exactly taking their job too seriously. One was engrossed in reading a paper whilst the other was smoking a cigarette and listen to music on a MP3 player and not looking in Kei's direction.

Returning his attention to the fire escape, Kei debated his next move. It was only a few metres from his hiding place and it might be possible to… he had not tested his stealth much since he met Sho for the younger man was not one for subtlety and tended to rush into things. Still, Kei was pretty confident he could make it there without being seen. The lights from the apartment lit the ladder and the part nearest the guards and so Kei was forced to move round to the other side. He could jump higher than a normal human but to jump straight up from the ground floor was something that not even he could accomplish.

Uneasily, Kei eyed the guards and they were both now turned away from him. He had to risk it, he thought to himself. Even if they did spot him he could get inside and find Chan first, it would just mean more blood spilt that was all. If he tried to get in through the door then the men guarding the front would come running and the carnage would alert Chan to Kei's presence.

Nodding to himself, Kei cast one more look in their direction before moving from the safety of the shadows. The run up to the fire escape gave him the added lift he needed. Grasping hold of the railings, Kei pulled himself over quickly and dropped the floor as he heard the men's comments from below. Whereas he had been moving too fast for a human eye to see, they had sensed some kind of movement and were now shining a flashlight in his general direction. Of course, neither suspected that anyone could have scaled the fire escape without being seen and so they did not think to shine the light up there. Kei laid still and after a few moments they dismissed what they had 'seen'.

He slowly got to his feet, keeping as close to the building as possible; Kei discovered that the fire door was also coded for outside entrance. Cursing under his breath, he moved further round to the window beside it. It was an old wooden style frame with a lock but it gave easily under the vampire's strength. Sliding it open carefully, Kei climbed inside.

Instantly, he scented humans and he froze whilst trying to ascertain just where they were in the building. Thankfully there were none in his direct vicinity. They were on the next floor; two or three, Kei estimated. There was no one else apart from them.

The door to the room that he was in was unlocked and Kei slipped out into the hallway, scanning it up and down just to assure himself that everything was okay. The hallway was lit but some of the lights had died and others flickered every so often. The flickering was bothering Kei slightly and he was glad when he reached the stairs.

As he started his ascent he felt a momentary pang of guilt at what he was going to do. Chan's death he could almost justify but the other scent that he had picked up was female.

This is for Sho, he told himself firmly. The only way that Sho would be safe would be if he did this. He had to do this; he didn't have another choice.

Kei reached the second floor far quicker than he would have liked. He could now hear talking coming from a room at the end of the corridor and he could see light under the door. His initial assumption had been correct – there were three people inside. This complicated matters, as Kei would have liked to have the element of surprise but in this case it would appear that he would have to forgo this luxury.

He un-holstered one the guns clipped to his belt and moved quickly down the corridor. Once he reached the door, Kei felt another momentary doubt. However, he hurriedly crushed this and grabbed the door handle. The door was locked but the lock easily buckled with the force that he applied to it.

Kei wasted no time in pushing the door open and stepping into the room. There were two men seated on the sofa; Chan and another man, this one younger. The woman must have been asleep in one of the adjacent bedrooms.

Without hesitation, Kei shot the younger man. The bullet struck him just below his ribcage and he slid off the sofa and onto the floor, his blood rapidly soaking the carpet. At that moment the bedroom door opened and the woman came out. As soon as their eyes locked she opened her mouth to scream. In a flash, Kei raced over to her, moving as though he were nothing more than a blur. He struck her over the head with the barrel of the gun, rendering her unconscious. A shot fired at that same moment that she fell down and Kei grunted in pain as a bullet struck the right upper side of his back, lodging itself in his lung. He gasped out as he felt it collapse and his legs gave way beneath him under the unexpected pain. His gun fell from his grasp as he hit the floor and he lay there momentarily stunned as he felt his body repairing itself. Chan evidently thought that Kei was dead and went to his wife's side, trying to rouse her. Seeing he was distracted, Kei grabbed his knife and plunged it into Chan's calf. The Chinese man let out a scream and fell to the floor as Kei twisted the blade before pulling it free. Blood gushed from the wound and Kei felt some splashes land on his face. He got to his feet and reached for another gun.

As he did this, he was suddenly tackled from behind. The younger man was not dead after all. They both crashed into the small coffee table, the glass shattering upon the impact. Kei let out a snarl as some glass embedded itself in his shoulder and he felt his fangs descending at the scent of blood. The younger man had a gun also and fired three shots in quick succession. This time, Kei managed to dodge them and lunged at the terrified man. He growled as he made contact with the younger man, his second gun was discarded as instinct came into play. He pinned the man down on the broken table and went for his throat.

Instantly his senses exploded ten fold as warm blood poured from the gash in the man's artery and into Kei's mouth. His eyes snapped open as a part of him realised what he had done but by then it was too late to stop. The man screamed as Kei tore away from him, his deadliest weapons tearing through flesh as he did so.

Another growl escaped him as his eyes locked onto Chan's. The gang leader had even forgotten his wife and was crawling towards the door, screaming for help as he did so. For a brief second, Kei wondered why the men outside had not yet come to Chan's aid. However, this was soon forgotten as he felt his vampire side flare up again as Chan reached the door; his prey was escaping.

No…

Somewhere in the back of Kei's mind, he felt the human side protest as he pounced on Chan, grabbing him by his shirt and slammed him up against the corridor wall. Tears poured down the man's face as he begged for mercy. Chan's pleas fell upon deaf ears as the vampire struck. Kei's fist connected with Chan's chest and his screams reached a new pitch as Kei's hand shattered bone. Then, as suddenly as they began, he fell silent. Chan's legs collapsed and Kei withdrew, allowing him to fall to the floor.

Blood… all around him, coupled with the scent of other humans. Kei could smell the unconscious woman inside the apartment and he took a step towards the door. He was almost there when he detected another scent. Snarling, Kei whirled around at the sound of someone calling his name.

The human who dared approached him did not flinch as they locked gazes and somewhere deep down Kei recognised him, even though he could not awaken enough of his humanity to recall the man's name.

"What have you done?" The human cried out, visibly sickened at the carnage.

What have I done?

At these words, Kei sprang away, slamming the younger man into the wall before taking flight. He raced along the corridor until he came to a window at the end. The glass shattered around him as he jumped and sirens wailed in the distance, having been alerted by frightened neighbours.

However, Kei remained oblivious to this. As soon as his feet touched solid ground again, he broke into a run; even failing to notice the four dead bodies slumped outside the apartment block.

Somewhere deep down inside of him, the humanity was screaming in protest at his actions but for now the vampire was fully in control.