14 years ago
The whole of the wolfblood camp had descended into a dark and solemn mood that seemed to stretch on forever. Even the flowers that were usually so vibrant during the summer had begun to decay and rot. The wind had picked up and the air had a chill to it. It was as if the whole of the forest was coming out in sympathy for the wild pack's loss.
Jana sat in her tent sobbing. She hadn't done much apart from that for a good few days. She still couldn't believe that her mother was dead. Her father had tried to explain to her where her Mama was now- off in the wolfblood heaven where there was endless meat and no one ever needed to hunt and the Gods would watch over her forever. Jana was glad her Mama was happy and safe, but it didn't take any of the pain away, she just wanted her Mama to be there with her.
The pack had been fasting in preparation for the rite of Freaghard, where the pack would guide Arianne's soul into the afterlife. It was one of the few rites that a young cub was allowed to attend. However many choose to keep their cubs away from it, feeling they were too young to see such a thing. When it came to alphas and enaid cymar alffas, the pack had no choice in the matter, tradition stated that all members must attend, unless severely ill, of course.
Jana felt severely ill. Severely ill with grief. Not only had she lost her Mama but she'd also lost Rhydian. The pack had refused to go out again after Arianne's death, not only would it have inappropriate and considered disrespectful, but everyone was afraid, afraid that the metal beetles would come for them too. If it wasn't for tradition stating that they must stay at their camp for another two full moons, they would have left instantly.
Jana was pretending to be asleep when Ceri walked into her tent. Unlike the rest of the pack, healers were permitted to enter the alpha's quarters whenever they felt it necessary. Given that Jana hadn't eaten anything for the past four days and had barely drunk any water, Ceri must have felt that it was more than necessary.
Jana refused to acknowledge her aunt, instead she just stared at her furs as if somehow doing that might make everything right and might make Rhydian and her Mama come back.
Ceri placed a bowl of meat close to her niece, worry evident on her face. Jana was already a skinny little thing, and she'd been so sickly as a baby, that had caused her to grow a lot more slowly than the other cubs. She also took long to recover from illnesses. Ceri worried immensely about the young cub, the last thing she needed was for Jana to get sick, Alric had enough to worry about without worrying that his heir, and only child, might end up dead too.
"Eat!" Ceri commanded forcefully, "Eat else your father will bring hell down on the both of us."
Jana sniffed at the meat before looking away disinterested, "I don't want to. I don't feel hungry. Anyway, we're supposed to be fasting for the rite."
Ceri sighed, "Not cubs, Jana. Cubs under the age of ten never fast. It's the rules."
Jana rubbed her eyes, "Mama never cared about the rules."
Ceri sighed again, looking away so that Jana couldn't see how she struggled to hold back her tears.
"Your Mama wouldn't want you to get ill," Ceri reminded the young girl in a pleading tone, "She'd want you to be happy and well. Will you at least try to eat something?"
Jana sat up, but her face wore a stubborn expression and she shook her head.
"Jana," Ceri said, "We all miss your Mama, but doing this won't help anything."
"Where's Nia?" Jana mumbled, "I asked to see her."
Ceri looked away from the cub again. She couldn't tell her... If Jana was already a mess, then surely this would just make everything so much worse.
"Nia's been exiled," Ceri told her, pain clear in her voice, "I tried everything. Your Uncle Gerwyn tried everything. But your father... He was already adamant about exiling Alais... He'd been wanting to for months... He said he'd let us look after Nia... That he's make Nia and Rhydian siblings by rite."
"Well that's never going to happen now is it," Jana replied grumpily, "I never want to go anyway."
"What do you mean, carriad?" Ceri asked.
"I didn't want to leave camp," Jana began, sobbing, "It's all my fault, isn't it? If I hadn't left with Nia, Mama would still be alive."
"Oh, carriad," Ceri said, hugging the young girl, "Don't ever think that. Don't ever say that."
"Well then whose fault was it?!" Jana yelled in anguish.
Alric entered the tent. Whilst he had not been so distraught with grief as his daughter, or rather he'd been more careful not to show it, he still felt torn up inside, lost. Arianne had been his enaid cymar alffa, and whilst they'd argued more often than they'd said I love you to one another, he still love her more than anything in the world, except for his daughter of course.
And that was why he had to do it, because it was the only safe thing to say, and if he didn't say, it well- he might lose Jana too. If Jana truly believed she was responsible, she wouldn't be able to live with that guilt. He couldn't lose Jana too...
"It's like you said, Jana," Alric said in a grave tone, "You never wanted to leave. It was Nia who talked you into it."
"So it was Nia's fault?" Jana asked, confused.
Alric nodded. Hoping that this would help Jana find peace.
Of course, it never really did.
Jana never truthfully believed Nia was responsible.
BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK
Present Day
"What do you think, TJ?" Matei asked, holding up a baby Darth Vader costume, "Not for this Halloween of course? But next year, this should be great, don't you think?"
TJ shook his head, "One it's a boy's costume and two that's just so wrong. In so many ways. You know, you need to buy 'normal' clothing for Ari, right?"
Jana turned to face TJ, placing a frilly pink dress back on the shelf next to her, "Why do clothes have to be boy's clothes or girl's clothes? And I like it, although though not as much as the baby pumpkin costume. Just look at the hat, TJ! Look at the little stalk!"
Meinir gave Jana a tired look, holding her coffee cup tightly, "It's not even passed Lughnasadh and you're already buying things for Samhain. Not even this year's Samhain! And I could sworn I saw Yule decorations a moment ago. These humans have no respect for the Gods and the passing of the year."
Jana laughed, "It's just human tradition. Christmas puds in September. Hot cross buns all year round."
"Hot cross what?" Meinir yelled.
Jana shook her head, "Never mind. Look, we need to find ten more dresses, five tops, two pairs of jeggings, some socks... Oh and a singing wolf."
"A singing wolf?" Rhydian asked, appearing with a few plain white baby-grows in hand and throwing them into the basket.
"Yeah," Jana began exuberantly, "Because you know how babies can hear their parents before they're born, right? Well, you know how babies are also calmed by lullabies. I was thinking, I can't sing to her on full moons so what if I had it all set up so that whilst I was wolfing out, she had a toy wolf singing to her to calm her down."
"And I'm assuming," Matei added with a grin, "That this wolf would look like you and sound like you, too?"
Jana nodded.
"So we're not just looking for a singing wolf?" Rhydian said, trying to hold back laughter, "We're looking for a red Welsh singing wolf."
"And we're also assuming that Ari will think it looks like Jana," TJ added.
Jana sighed, "I can't expect you to understand! Ok, I am willing to accept that we might have to get one that looks like Matei instead."
"No we're bloody not buying one!" Matei yelled.
"Matei!" Jana yelled, "Not around Ari! She can hear you!"
Rhydian and Maddy shared a concerned look. They hoped that whenever they became parents they wouldn't end up like Jana.
Matei looked through the dresses and tops that were already in the basket.
"Matei! Stop panicking!" Jana reassured them, placing a hand over his, "I saved up loads of my tips over the past few weeks just so I could go on big shopping trip."
"No Jana, it's not-,"Matei began.
"And we'll still have a lot of stuff to buy later," Jana said, "So I'm so going to need your help a lot then."
"I know, it's just-," Matei tried to continue.
"So, you see everything will be fine!" Jana said with a grin.
"No, it's- do all of these have wolves on them?!" Matei yelled in disbelief.
"No," Jana replied indignantly, "This top only have one wolf on it."
Matei rolled his eyes, "Maybe we should just make Ari wear a sign with 'wolfblood baby' on it. Just to make sure that everyone knows that she's one. You know, just in case they don't get it from the, er, 'wolfblood jeggings'."
"It was only a matter of time before they had wolfblood themed clothing lines," Maddy replied, "Especially around this time of year."
Rhydian shook his head, "And of course, Jana just had to buy wolfblood themed clothes."
"It's cute!" Jana said, "I can't wait to show Nia!"
Matei shared a concerned look with Rhydian. They'd left Nia with Katrina, Katrina had to work at the Kafe, Gods could only guess what Nia was up to. They just hoped that Katrina wasn't letting Nia actually work at the Kafe. Jana v.s. Pannini toaster was a saga that didn't need repeating.
"Come on!" Jana said, "Let's get this shopping done and then go to that little café to get some chocolate cake."
"She's been craving chocolate so much recently," Rhydian complained.
"Oh, so that's where all the Terry's chocolate orange went," Maddy concluded.
"Well, er most of it," Rhydian replied apologetically.
"I should have known," Maddy said, shaking her head.
"It feels good to be back here, doesn't it?" Rhydian said, "Though not much as changed."
Maddy nodded, "Yeah, it is good to be back. Though I think everything has changed. Not only with the secret, I mean... I think life has changed for all of us."
"Not that much," Rhydian argued.
"No," Maddy answered, "I think this is only the beginning of something much bigger."
