I'm back from my holiday hiatus! Hope you all had a joyous holiday season. Thanks to all of you for being so supportive of my crazy, angst riddled tale! And lots of love to you all as well, cheers.
Chapter Eleven: Strength
The next morning…
Lauren has arrived to her office earlier than usual. Having spent the night before tossing and turning instead of sleeping restfully, she just decided to head to the office early. The brilliant doctor hasn't been able to stop her thoughts of a certain brunette, frustratingly trying to decipher the intense interaction between her and Bo. She really hopes Bo will call the office to explain her behavior from the previous day. Lauren has a strong sense that Bo has potential to succeed and accomplish great things in her life. She is committed the woman with the dark past they she is capable of what ever she sets her mind to.
Time slowly ticks by as the doctor eagerly anticipates being in Bo's presence again, as she has certainly peeked her interest. From a professional standpoint, Lauren understands that Bo is probably just feeling nervous and apprehensive with so many adjustments and life changes all happening at once. From a personal standpoint, Lauren is consumed with an increasing desire to hold Bo in her arms and soothe away all of her worries and concerns.
Sylvia sits at her desk, wondering about Lauren. She has noticed Lauren's response to the new client. During her time as Lauren's receptionist, the doctor has always been strictly professional with her clients. Lauren has never allowed the boundaries with her clients to blur. However, Sylvia started witnessing the boundaries blur before her eyes from the moment Bo Dennis first waltzed into the office. Sylvia and Lauren have struck an interesting kinship and she wants to talk to her boss about Bo but decides not to for now. Before proceeding to complete her usual tasks of preparing the office for the day, Sylvia stops by Lauren's office to check on her. Lauren's office door is open and Sylvia announces her presence in her doorway with a chipper morning greeting.
"Good morning Dr. Lewis! How's it going?" Sylvia says flashes a bright, genuine smile.
Lauren really isn't in the mood for Sylvia's chipper inquiries. She especially does not want to reveal her full thoughts and growing feelings about Bo so she replies with a simple "It's going, just getting prepared for the day."
Sylvia can sense Lauren's apprehension to chat so she just gives her a small smile and heads back towards the waiting area.
"I'm always here for you if you want to talk." Sylvia says stopping mid stride and speaking over her shoulder.
A part of Lauren wants to lie down on her own futon and share her innermost thoughts with Sylvia but instead she utters "Thanks Sylvia."
Lauren immediately slips back into her reveries of Bo but is startled from them rather quickly by the telephone ringing at Sylvia's desk. Her heart rate increases while hoping the caller is Bo.
Lauren casually walks out of her office towards the receptionist desk, very curious to find out the identity of the caller. She stares at Sylvia inquisitively as she provides confirmation to the caller for a late morning appointment.
After Sylvia hangs up the phone, Lauren continues standing in front of Sylvia's desk waiting for her to reveal the identity of the caller.
"She'll be here at 11:00 today."
Lauren's feels slightly panicked that Bo will be coming back today. Mostly because she is becoming a bit alarmed about the effect the mysterious brunette is having on her.
Lauren gulps before responding to Sylvia.
"Bo? Will Bo be coming in at 11:00 today?"
"She certainly will. She apologized profusely, on the brink of begging actually."
Lauren feels both excited and terrified that Bo will be returning to the office. Lauren busies herself by taking the elevator to the research floor, which serves as a much needed distraction to her thoughts of Bo. The closer it gets to 11:00, the more Lauren's mind floods with thoughts of the lovely brunette.
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Bo tip toes around her room, quietly getting ready and hoping not to wake Kenzi. She has taken great care to piece together her outfit. Even more than her initial meeting with Lauren, Bo wants to make an impression. She wants to erase any thoughts from the doctor's mind that she is flaky or not worthy of the generous services her organization is providing her with.
She is successful at getting dressed and ready to go without waking Kenzi. Bo peeks in on her best friend before exiting the apartment. Kenzi is deep in slumber.
During the train ride to Tabula Rasa, Bo replays the interaction between her and the doctor in her mind. She also daydreams about the many dreams she had of Lauren last night. Bo makes a silent promise to herself that she will not allow self destructive night with Dane ruin her chances of truly working towards turning her life around.
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11:00 approaches…
After spending time in her research lab, Lauren returns to her desk and is reviewing data from the company's latest psychotropic drug trial research study. The usually focused doctor is still struggling to focus, concentrate and feels tense. Her mind keeps shifting back to thoughts of her 11:00 appointment.
Attempting to ground herself, Lauren stretches her muscles by doing basic chair yoga. She imagines Sylvia walking in and catching her in the silly poses and positions but continues them anyway. As Lauren continues to attempt to calm herself, Bo anxiously walks inside of Lewis Enterprises. She checks out her image in the mirrored elevator doors before pressing the number 5 button on the elevator keypad. The elevator quickly arrives and once inside Bo's chest begins to tighten and her heart beat ramps up. The impending encounter with Dr. Lewis launches Bo into quite a panic. And when the elevator door opens onto the 5th floor, Bo feels an overwhelming impulse to quickly press the button for the ground floor and make a quick dash out of the building. She conjures up the strength to step out of the elevator and walks towards Sylvia's desk.
Sylvia greets Bo as she approaches her desk.
Bo casts her eyes downward, feeling embarrassed remembering how she rushed out of the Tabula Rasa office last time she was there.
"Thank you for giving me another chance. I really am so sorry about the last time I was here."
Sylvia's eyes are filled with empathy and understanding.
"Like I told you last time you were here, I understand. It's rough in the beginning but it gets better. I'll let Dr. Lewis know you are here."
Bo is becoming increasingly phone of Lauren's lovely receptionist. She is even entertaining the thought of how well Kenzi and Sylvia would get along and would likely become fast friends. Bo's reveries are cut short when Sylvia directs her to be seated.
Sylvia goes to Lauren's office. The doctor doesn't notice Sylvia standing at her door and is startled when she hears "Hey Dr. Lewis, your 11:00 is here."
Lauren takes a couple quick, deep breaths in anticipation of seeing Bo again. This doesn't go unnoticed by Sylvia but she merely smiles and heads back to the waiting area, wowing to herself to broach the subject with her boss soon.
After taking a few more moments, Lauren emerges from her office. Her shiny blonde locks are loosely curled, swirling around her shoulders and swaying from side to side as she walks out into the waiting area. As if on target, Bo's senses perk up and she hones in on Lauren walking towards her direction. Their eyes meet and they each feel as if the earth stands still. Bo flashes a smile and maintains eye contact with Lauren.
Lauren can not take her eyes off of her new client. With each step, Lauren's heart beats faster just as Bo's had when she first entered the building earlier. And as Lauren gets closer, Bo becomes more and more enamored with Dr. Lewis. Taken by the beautiful spectacle before her, Bo searches for her voice and rather quickly finds it.
Bo's eyes are sparkling as she begins to speak.
"My sincerest apologies for the last time I was here. I was prepared to drop down on my knees and beg you to take me back. And still will if you want me to." Bo says, attempting to lessen the impact of her behavior.
The mere thought of Bo dropping to her knees and the very cute manner in which she apologizes causes the composed doctor to have a really hard time maintaining composure.
She simply says, "That won't be necessary. I'm just glad you came back."
"So am I." Bo says with a wide grin.
Lauren motions for Bo to follow her into her office. Bo follows immediately, checking out the rear view of Dr. Lewis. Lauren's aura tickles her senses and Bo welcomes the feelings.
Bo walks into the office and sits down on the legless lounger this time. Lauren opts for sitting on the futon. Initially the two women sit in comfortable silence, staring at each other.
Although Lauren welcomes the feelings that come with being lost in Bo's eyes, she is the first to break the silence allowing the doctor within her to explode back to the surface.
"So Bo, I feel like I should review the ground rules again. I'm not sure what happened yesterday that caused you to bolt out of here but these weekly sessions are mandatory. If you don't complete them weekly, I'll be forced to report you to Judge Ash." Lauren utters with authority, staying focused so not to allow her mind to wander to thoughts of how completely breathtaking Bo looks.
"I'm sorry." Bo apologizes for the second time while dropping her eyes, still embarrassed by the behavior she showed yesterday by running out of the office.
With one look at those sad, apologetic eyes, Lauren wants to drop the topic. But she wouldn't let any other client avoid responsibility so she knows she cannot allow Bo to do so either. Lauren acknowledges Bo's apology before she continues.
"Your weekly session with me is totally driven by what you desire to gain out of the services we offer. It's your opportunity to share what ever you'd like with me. It's your chance to tell me all about how you ended up here." Lauren says, her voice laced with professionalism and authority.
Although Dr. Lewis' tone is very matter of fact, Bo is aroused by Lauren's assertive tone. She imagines throwing herself onto Lauren's lap and kissing her passionately. She imagines laying her head on her shoulder and telling her everything. She imagines unloading all of her life's misery and peril. She imagines Lauren telling her everything will be okay as she lovingly cradles her in her arms.
But in reality Bo ends up saying…"I'm afraid there's not enough time in one lifetime to fill you in on how I ended up here."
Lauren relaxingly leans back into the futon, her posture communicating an openness to listen to what Bo has to tell her. Lauren doesn't want to appear too intrusive or pushy so she just sits back and waits for Bo to continue, at her own pace.
Although Bo feels very at ease with the doctor, she doesn't want to divulge too much too quickly. On some level she feels ashamed to tell Lauren about her life even though she knows the stunning blonde in front of her has probably heard all sorts of wild and outlandish stories considering her profession.
The doctor senses Bo's apprehension to talk. She leans forward and places a hand on Bo's knee.
"It's okay Bo. This is a safe space. What you say here isn't shared with anyone. What happens in this room stays in this room, remember."
Bo replays the last remark in her head while marinating in the pulsating sensation of Lauren's hand on her knee. When Lauren removes her hand from her knee, Bo struggles to hide her look of disappointment over the absence of the doctor's hand.
Deciding that a humorous comment is necessary at this moment to mask her disappointed feelings Bo chuckles and says "So, it's kind of like Vegas then."
"That's one to look at it." Lauren says, smiling.
"I really do want to explain more about why I ran out of here the last time."
"Please go on."
"When I walked into your office the first time, the furniture and decorations reminded me of someone from my not so distant past. I guess I was scared because here I was sitting in here, supposedly looking towards the future while surrounded by the past."
"What you're describing is a common response to a trigger inducing visual stimulus."
Bo stares at Lauren, slight confusion scrawled across her face.
"This office triggered a variation of a flight or fight response. You responded to the triggered memory of the person from your past by fleeing instead of fighting the urge to flee and exploring the trigger further."
Bo continues to stare at Lauren, lost in her intellectual exposition. Lauren's evident brilliance further lights a spark within Bo.
Lauren encourages Bo to continue exploring her thoughts and feelings about the person of her past she mentioned. When Bo doesn't say anything further, Lauren pulls back so she doesn't feel pressure to discuss anything she's not ready to.
"When and if you're ready Bo, we can explore this subject again sometime. It could help you gain some insight into how and why you react to things."
Bo nods her head and closes her eyes, not ready to talk to Lauren about Raku today. Instead she gives Lauren a summary of the last few years of her life as a thief, drug smuggler, and drug user. She tells her about her friendship with Kenzi and how she has grown accustomed to having a positive constant in her life. Bo feels relieved that she has finally told the doctor more about herself.
Throughout Bo's self-disclosure, Lauren listens without judgment which had served as motivation for Bo to continue. Lauren had given Bo her full attention, raking her eyes over Bo's face and examining her subtle facial expressions which constantly changed to match the tone of the life events she was describing.
Lauren processes Bo's back story in her mind, impressed with the resilience and strength she must possess to overcome such harsh life experiences.
"You are so beautiful. I just want to take you in my arms and release you from your torment. You deserve peace and a good life. I can give you that." Lauren thoughts trail off.
Bo senses Lauren's distant expression and says "I know I've given you a lot of information. I'll slow down because I know I can ramble sometimes."
"You're not rambling. I appreciate you being open and telling me your story. It can be hard to share such intimate details with someone you've just met."
Bo is surprised to have told Lauren so much of her history but she feels a sense of safety with her along with growing attraction. Lauren is attuned to her own growing emotions towards Bo and begins to fidget with her pen clicker in an attempt to shift her focus away from the unethical thoughts she is having about the brunette beauty.
Lauren glances at the wall clock, noting that an hour has passed. She is relieved that their time is up, not because she wants Bo to leave but because she is in a heated battle to control her feelings for this beautiful woman with the dark past.
"We are out of time for today." Lauren says, eyes locked with Bo's.
"Gosh, that seemed so fast." Bo says, disappointed.
"You've done a lot of work today. I can tell you want to change your life and I can help you with that."
Lauren's expression is warm and compassionate, causing Bo to feel another surge of powerful emotions.
As if on cue, Bo and Lauren both stand up. They stand face to face with each other, quietly enjoying the closeness and warmth of their proximity. They both feel the pull towards each other, the intensity is so overwhelming.
Lauren takes a step back and nervously smoothes her hair, afraid of what her next action would be if she remained that close to Bo.
"Sylvia will confirm your appointment for next week. By the way, did you sign up for classes yet at the community college?"
The doctor decides inquiring about these things would definitely help keep her mind on track.
"Yes, I decided to take some criminal justice classes. I'm thinking about working on the right side of the law for a change." Bo says chuckling yet serious about her career path.
Lauren can sense the sincerity in Bo's response.
"Well, that sounds like a wonderful plan."
The doctor gestures for Bo to follow her to Sylvia's desk. Bo happily follows Lauren, enjoying the doctor's sensual stride and fragrant scent. Lauren doesn't leave her side until Sylvia confirms her appointment for next week.
Bo places a hand on Lauren's shoulder before saying, "See you next week Lauren."
Bo drags her hand down Lauren's shoulder and then extends her hand to Lauren for a handshake. They both feel the usual spark ignited by their touch.
"See you next time Bo." Lauren says unclasping hands with Bo, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Bo turns to leave, feeling happier and lighter than she has in quite a while.
After leaving Tabula Rasa, Bo attends afternoon classes at the community college. She doesn't feel as awkward or out of place as she had anticipated. It also helped that the younger students eagerly accepted her presence and enjoyed being around her. Feelings of hopefulness and motivation surge through her and Bo welcomes it.
