A/N: Now we get to the fun part. I hope everyone is keeping up. Its meant to be all confusing now and it'll get worse before it gets better but all will be explained in the end. Now I know people have their traditional views on how Gallifrey should be etc and the Doctor's legacy (no pun intended) and my opinions even differ from this story but it works for what I need. Please regard the story as a whole and how it works if you review rather than against any established (or otherwise) theories on the Doctor's past. Many thanks.
By the way, some sad news from the world of Nova. My baby cat, called the Doctor, is very sick at the moment and has to have a very expensive operation (so glad we have insurance!) If therefore I disappear for a few days please bear with me as it will be for his sake. I'll keep you all posted.
Home at Last
"Take your time Rose, don't rush. Open your eyes when you're ready."
Rose could hear a strangely familiar voice above her and felt the cool material on her brow, quelling the fever she still felt burning there. The voice kept talking to her, deep and calm; wrapping around her like a warm blanket on a cold day. She felt the brush of fingers against her palm and flexed her own instinctively.
"That's it, good girl. Can you feel that? Squeeze my fingers if you can hear me."
She did as she was told, closing her fingers around the familiar hand and feeling the strength flow from him to her. The cloth was replaced by warm lips against her forehead and she was once again told to open her eyes. She fought against the tonne weights on her eyelashes, only managing to flutter them enough to let in a crack of bright light. She winced and screwed her eyes shut.
"Too bright," she said, finding her throat raspy and dry.
"Easily fixed," said the voice beside her. She heard the sound of leather brushing against the bed sheets and caught a the familiar scent that flew to her. Calvin Klein and something wonderfully alien. Heavy footfalls crossed the room and even without opening her eyes she felt the lights dim. The figure returned to her side.
"Ok, try it now."
Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks before her eyes opened fully, drinking in the deep blue pools above her. She smiled, taking in the strongly angled features she loved so well. He smiled back, that familiar manic grin that she missed. She frowned, why did she miss it? Something brushed at her consciousness but she pushed it back down, smiling once more as two strong arms reached beneath her shoulders to heave her up into a warm embrace.
"God I thought I'd lost you there," came the warm, northern tones in her ear, "Don't you ever frighten me like that again."
Rose hugged him back, burying her face in the leather at his shoulder as her hand gently caressed the short, black hair at the back of his neck, "What happened to me?"
"Don't you remember?"
Rose pulled back to look at him and shook her head, "I don't remember anything," she said as he seemed to grow very interested in his Doctor Martins, "Doctor, what happened?"
"It was my fault," he muttered, "We'd just got back from saving your Dad and I got a bit ahead of myself, showing off for the new guest and all. The TARDIS gave a jolt when we were flying and you fell against one of the guide rails in the control room, you hit your head pretty hard. You've …you've been unconscious for nearly a month. I thought I was going to lose you."
"A month," said Rose, reaching up to feel the bandage wrapped round the back of her head. She winced as she reached a tender point, "Oww."
"I can give you some more pain killers if you need them," said the Doctor, gently lowering her back against the bed.
"Nah," said Rose, glancing round the med room, feeling as if something was amiss but not able to put her finger on it, "I'll be fine. Have you been sitting here all the time?"
The Doctor subconsciously traced the noticeable stubble on his chin and his eyes showed how dishevelled he knew he must look, "Sort of, your Dad's been here too obviously. Actually, I'd better go tell him you're awake. First time in ages he's given up your side to rest and you wake up without him."
"Wait," said Rose, grabbing his sleeve as he made to get up, "Did you just say my Dad? My Dad's dead Doctor."
"Course he's not, he was but he isn't now," said the Doctor peering down at her in concern, "Can't you remember what happened?"
Rose shook her head, her head pounding as she tried to recollect the events that lead to her dead father being on board, "I remember we went back to 1987 and he was there and I saved him from the car. The Reapers came and we hid in the Church. You tried to get the TARDIS back but I touched the baby me and you got eaten. Dad killed himself so we could go back to normal."
The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "That bang on the head has effected you more than I thought. We went to 1987 yes and you, bad little ape that you are, saved your Dad from the car that should have killed him. The Reapers came but you found the TARDIS key in my pocket. We waited for the TARDIS to appear and then I went back to fix the time line. Your Dad wasn't meant to be alive so we staged the crash and then he came with us in the TARDIS, to travel with us. Then you had your accident."
"Oh…" said Rose, her brow creasing in confusion, "I don't remember it that way."
"You're memory will come back with time," said the Doctor pressing a kiss to her forehead, "Give it a chance. I'd better get your Dad."
"Will you tell Jack that I'm ok too?" asked Rose, pushing up to sitting.
"Whose Jack?" said the Doctor, leaning on the door frame.
"Our companion…at least, I think he was…we met him in World War Two…then he…he died, didn't he?"
"There's never been a Jack onboard Rose, you were probably dreaming," said the Doctor with a smile, "Just you, me and your Dad, proper team. Give us a mo."
Rose watched his back as he disappeared out of the room. Something wasn't right but she couldn't place what. She flopped back on the pillows and patted herself down, finding herself in jeans and a blue t-shirt. She slipped her hand into her pocket and felt two things there. She pulled out a cylindrical device with a blue bulb on the end. She didn't know what it was but she knew it was something useful. She put it back into her pocket before taking out another item. It was a simple black wallet. She opened it, finding it empty aside from several pictures. One was of her Mum, drunk one New Years and wearing sparkly antennae. The second was of Mickey standing beside the first car he had ever bought, beaming with pride. Rose wondered why a slight twinge of sadness hit her when she looked at his smile. The third was of a man she didn't recognize. He was handsome in a geeky sort of way, black rimmed glasses perched on his nose as he peered over them at her, giving her a cheeky grin. She found herself smiling back, her heart rate increasing slightly as she looked at him. No name came to her and she struggled to remember who he was. She blushed as a wave of lust hit her as an image of him wrapped around her came to mind. She shook her head and quickly stuffed the photo back in the wallet and returning it to her pocket. Something was definitely wrong.
XXXX
The Doctor knew he was in a very different place to where he should be when he awoke to the sound of birds singing. He tried to open his eyes but the sunlight forced him to scrunch them closed. He fidgeted in the bed he lay in, feeling the soft sheets and warm pillow coaxing him back to sleep. He wanted to succumb but something told him to open his eyes. He squinted in the bright light, peering round the room and finding himself in familiar surroundings. He looked up as he heard the door ahead of him open and a face he thought he'd never see again popped round.
"Susan?" he managed to growl out, his throat raw.
"By Rassilon!" she cried, "You're awake! Great-Grandfather hurry! Grandfather's woken up."
In a flurry of movement she was beside him on the bed, hugging him close as if he might disappear in any instant. The Doctor returned her embrace, too overwhelmed at being reunited with her to question her outburst.
"How are you here?" he asked pulling back, "You…you died, in the Time War."
"I was missing for a while," said Susan, patting down his hair, "But they found me. We thought we'd lost you until the TARDIS crashed, you regenerated but it went a bit wrong; you've been sleeping for nearly seven hundred and twenty-two hours."
The Doctor didn't have any more time to speak as another figure ran into the room. The elderly white haired man hurried in as best he could, rushing to the opposite side of the bed and taking the Doctor's hand in his own.
"You woke up!" he said, tears forming in his eyes, "By Rassilon I thought you weren't going to make it. I've been begging your mother to watch over you, rest her soul, and she has answered my prayers at last."
"Father?" said the Doctor, "But you…"
"Hush now. I know things are a little confusing right now. Last time you were awake we were on the brink of destruction but here we are thanks to you. You have been honoured by the Senate for your bravery, you managed to wipe out the entire Dalek fleet single handed with that plan of yours. Rassilon as my witness I thought that blast will destroy us still but then you installed those shields and the planet and our sun were protected. I always knew you would do great things my boy."
"But…" said the Doctor, looking between the two smiling faces, "You died, everyone died, the planet was destroyed. I was left on my own."
"If we died," said Susan, "How are we here now? Can't you remember what happened?"
"I…I released the Eye of Harmony and the planet died. I went travelling alone and…there was this girl…a pretty, blonde girl and we travelled…she…I loved her, I think," said the Doctor, his brow creasing in confusion, "Everything is a little muddled."
"You have everything there," said Susan, "Just the wrong way round. You were travelling with a blonde girl, you married her and then the war came."
"I…got married? Me?"
"Of course, Reinette wouldn't have it any other way," said the man beside him, "Knew it would take a special kind of lady to tame you and bring you home, never thought it would be a French Lady of Court though."
"Reinette?" said the Doctor, "I married Reinette?"
"Well who else could you marry, you were besotted with her the second we met her. Begged her to come with us and nearly buggered up the timeline, the Council was not happy with you!" said Susan, adjusting the blankets around him, "I think we'd better leave you to sleep for a while, you'll feel better after a nap. I'll call Reinette home. I don't know, she doesn't leave your side for the whole time you're here and the one day she decides to venture into the Capitol you decide to wake up. You're stubborn as ever!"
The Doctor was too bemused to speak as goodbyes were said and he was ordered to sleep once more. When the bedroom door finally closed he sat up, seeing a pinstripe suit and long fawn jacket strewn at the foot of the bed. He glanced around the room, recognizing it as a chamber he had once stayed in as a guest of his father but it looked more lived in, feminine influences scattered here and there. He looked over to a vase taking pride of place on top of a bureau and frowned at the flowers he saw there. They weren't from Gallifrey, they were Earth flowers but he could not remember their name. He got to his feet, realising with some horror that he was dressed in silken, night robes favoured by his people that he found far too disturbing. He stumbled across to the bureau and traced his hands over the intricate red petals, feeling something stir in his chest as he felt their velvet. He pulled one from the vase and inhaled, the heady scent sending waves of pleasure to areas not entirely appropriate. He blushed, glad the room was empty and hastily returned the rose to its place. Rose. The word filled him with a warmth like never before but he had no idea why.
XXXX
Rose stared at her reflection in her bedrooms full length mirror, seemingly examining her clothes but secretly wondering why it no longer felt like home. She heard someone stop in her doorway and felt the pleasurable shudders as she felt his eyes trace her figure. She turned and smiled, beckoning the Doctor over. He obeyed and perched on the end of her bed, still watching her as she fastened her hair up on her head before pulling on a heavy winter coat. She turned to him with a grin.
"Will I do?" she asked, holding her arms out and turning in a circle.
"Perfect," he said standing and taking her hands, deftly slipping warm woolly gloves onto her fingers, "Are you sure you're up to this?"
"You've been stuck here for a month," said Rose, watching her hand as it intertwined with his, "God knows you must be going dotty with just my Dad for company, Mister 'I Don't Do Domestic'!"
"I would have waited an age longer if I had to for you," said the Doctor, pulling her to his leather clad chest and hugging her tight, "I'm so glad I got you back."
Rose didn't answer, content just to feel his warm body against hers. She remembered him feeling cooler to the touch but that didn't matter so long as she was in his arms, where she belonged. He had promised to take her to a planet called Woman Wept, shaped like a lamenting woman he had said. The atmosphere was such that at night the sea would freeze. She was intrigued, glad to be adventuring again after so long. She still couldn't shake the fact though that something was amiss. It was almost as if she knew what happened on the planet, that she had seen it before but the Doctor assured her they had been nowhere near that part of the universe.
"You fallen asleep down there?" came the voice above her, his lips moving the hair on top of her head.
She looked up at him but didn't pull back, "Just thinking," she said softly, hoping her smile concealed the turmoil in her mind. She watched a strange look pass over the Doctor's countenance, a look she had seen before; one that always sent sparks of electricity to her fingertips. The gaze usually only lasted a few seconds but this time it lingered, augmented in its power when his hand came up to brush back a few loose tendrils of hair from her forehead.
"Rose, how far back do you remember?" he asked, his voice slightly gruffer than usual.
"I'm not sure," she said, unable to tear her eyes away from his, "Everything is still a bit fuzzy."
"Do you remember what happened the night before we met your Dad?"
Rose shook her head, "I'm not sure, all round that period is hazy."
The Doctor looked crest fallen and Rose immediately missed the loss of his fingers in her hair. She held onto him a little tighter before he got a chance to pull away.
"What's wrong?" she asked, "What happened before we met my Dad?"
"Doesn't matter."
"It does matter," said Rose, reaching up a hand to turn his face back to hers, "It matters enough for you to have asked me what I remembered."
"I…we…" said the Doctor, "I kissed you and you told me you loved me."
"Oh."
"See, told you it didn't matter. You can't remember, spur of the moment thing. I kiss you, you spare my feelings by pretending you feel the same," said the Doctor, pulling a little more forcefully out of her embrace.
"No!" cried Rose, grabbing his hand as he made to leave, "No, its not that. I honestly can't remember but if you did kiss me then I know whatever I said afterwards to you would have been the truth."
"Really?" said the Doctor, his eyes more animated than she had ever seen them, "Could I…"
"What?"
"Kiss you again?"
Rose felt a small smile touch her lips as he pulled her a little closer. She nodded and it was all the encouragement he needed. Lips pressed to hers with a confidence she hadn't been expecting. Her mind told her that their first kiss should be tender and unsure but she rationalised that this was their second kiss to him and he was probably more sure of their feelings than she was. She closed her eyes, trying to find the place where everything gave over to sensation but it didn't come. Her mind flashed images of gold to her but they made no sense, the only thought that was clear that this felt wrong. His lips didn't fit hers as they should, he didn't hold her like he had done before, his tongue didn't taste like she remembered. She fought the sudden urge to pull away as the image of the stranger in the photograph jumped into her consciousness.
The Doctor slowly released her, not noticing the look of bewilderment on her face but then Rose prided herself on being able to hide when she hadn't enjoyed a kiss; her last months with both Jimmy and Mickey had taught her that. She allowed herself to be pulled back in to another, smaller kiss before a cough at the door caught her attention. She had been shocked by her father's presence on the ship, seemingly the Doctor's best friend and fitting right into the time travelling life she shared with the Doctor. Now, dressed in jeans and a white scarf she was sure she had seen someone else in, he stood in her bedroom doorway, not even flinching as a nine hundred year old alien kissed his only daughter.
"When you two love birds have quite finished I suggest we get down onto this planet the Doctor's been raving about," said Pete, clapping his gloved hands together, "Think you can spare him for long enough love?"
"Sure," said Rose looking between the alien in her arms and the man in the doorway, "After all, frozen seas are much more interesting than this one!"
With a giggle and a yell she bolted from the room, only allowing herself to frown as she reached the console room first. Laying a hand on the control panel she felt her heart sink as no vibration came to her.
XXXX
The Doctor wanted to scream, not only had he been forced out of clearly a favoured outfit of pinstripes into long, dark robes insisted on by his people but he also had a woman hanging off his arm who could not seem to be quiet for a second. If he heard one more time how spectacular his planet was he was going to do someone some damage. The only problem was that the someone currently prattling on as to how she had never seen green that vibrant before was meant to be his wife. When his father had told him he was married to Reinette he had figured it wasn't such a difficult concept to grasp. He remembered her as elegant, beautiful, charming, entertaining but that had seemed to fade when she had barrelled into his bedroom, proclaiming him her lost angel returned and covering him with kisses he found more irritating than fulfilling.
She had dragged him from the house soon after, insisting that his recovery could only be aided by fresh air and exercise in the freezing snow of Gallifrey's winter. He was intending to disagree. His recovery in his opinion centred around him sitting very quietly, alone, for many hours until he pieced back together his mismatched memory. Something was amiss, his father was too warm, his grandchild too sweet and his wife not even igniting a single spark of affection inside him.
"Don't you think my darling?"
The Doctor returned from his musings as he felt something tug on his arm. He looked up into his wife's eyes, shocked to find them free of mascara and wondering why.
"Sorry…dear…I was miles away. What were you saying?" he asked, feigning interest.
"I was saying its amazing how the trees remain in leaf even when the snows come," said Reinette, "This place is truly wonderful, the beauty of Versailles has nothing on the wonders of these gardens. Oh what bliss to be on this world and with you, my darling angel. I am so glad you are come back to us."
The Doctor managed a weak smile before returning his attentions to the scenery around him. He blinked as he saw something out of place on the snowy field below where they walked but the image remained. There in the snow was a girl, dancing happily as it cascaded down onto her. Opening her arms wide and admiring the snow flakes as they settled on her gloved hands. Her blonde hair fanned out around her like a halo as she span on one leg, laughing playfully. The Doctor thought he'd never seen anything more beautiful in his whole life. Her entire countenance portrayed innocence and purity, a wide eyed view on the universe and everything in it.
The Doctor let loose the arm holding his and walked slowly down the slope never taking his eyes off the dancing girl. When he was no more than five feet away she looked up, her gaze penetrating right into his soul. An expression of confusion and then vague recognition came to her face before she smiled warmly at him and raised her hand to wave. He waved back, wanting for some reason the ground beneath him to carry him downwards whilst all the time wanting to stay beside her.
"Angel!" came the call, "Angel?"
The Doctor turned to see Reinette struggling down the hill, holding her heavy Time Lady robes up above her ankles. He resisted the frown at how odd she looked in them.
"What are you doing down there?" she said, "And ignoring me too?"
"I came to see…" the Doctor trailed off as he looked back to where the girl had been to see nothing but virgin snow on the ground, "…girl. There was a girl here just a second ago, she was dancing."
"There wasn't a girl," said Reinette, "That head injury has hurt you more than I thought, we should go back."
"But I saw her. She was right there, she looked right at me," said the Doctor, squinting as the sunlight bounced off the snow, "She was beautiful."
His hand was roughly grabbed and he was dragged back up the hill, all the time looking over his shoulder for the mystery girl with the sunlight smile.
XXXX
Rose thought she had been mad to find anything out of place in her life with the Doctor. Here they all were beneath hundred foot frozen waves, skating and laughing as the snow came down around them in the still night. Her father was busying himself with a snowman whilst the Doctor was examining some aquatic life that froze with the sea, completely shutting down their bodies until the thaw when they would come back to life. She wandered along the snowy beach, the fresh snow crunching beneath her boots. She looked back over her shoulder, taking in the pretty picture of the beach; her father alive and well, playful as she'd hoped for and the Doctor, brighter than she ever remembered him and openly in love with her.
The snow began to fall a little heavier and she examined the delicate flakes in the split second before they melted against her gloved hands. She span around, catching as much snow as possible. Casting her eyes to the heavens she giggled at the hand fate had dealt her, giving her the adventure and the beauties of the universe. She stopped as a figure appeared at her side and she turned fully to face him. He was shockingly handsome, dressed in clothes she didn't recognise, his hair too contemporary for the fashions he wore. She frowned, recognition touching her senses before she remembered the photograph in her pocket. Something stirred in her chest as he smiled at her and she smiled back just as warmly. She raised a hand to wave at him, seeing him wave back. She went to speak to him but a voice behind her caught her attention.
"Rose come and look at this!"
"What?" she said turning to see the Doctor beckoning her over to the water front, "Sorry I've got to…"
She stopped explaining to the man beside her that she had to go as he faded from view. She peered around her, looking for the figure and feeling a lump rise in her throat that he was no longer there. She took the wallet from her pocket and looked at his photograph once again. Something in his eyes seemed so familiar, their deep brown so warming and filled with an emotion she had never seen before. The Doctor's call came to her again and she quickly returned the picture before jogging back to his side.
"You okay?" said the Doctor taking her hand, "You look a little off."
"I'm fine," said Rose smiling up at him, "Just over done it a bit today."
"We can go back to the TARDIS," said the Doctor, "Curl up in front of the fire with a movie or something."
Rose frowned, "Isn't that a little domestic for you?"
"Course not, what we always do."
"Course," said Rose, smiling at his back as he went over to Pete, before muttering to herself, "You hate watching films."
XXXX
The Doctor thanked whatever gods could hear him that he had been able to pass off illness as an excuse for avoiding his marital duties. After his return to his father's house he had managed to escape to the library for a while, enjoying the silence and the chance it gave him to think on the events that had led him home. He should be happy, his family lived, he had a beautiful wife, the TARDIS was ready to fly in an instant but something was dreadfully amiss. He remembered sadness but didn't know why. He remembered love, tentative even now, not as open as the practiced courtesan currently by his side. Reinette had been on his heels the second he announced he was retiring to bed and he had seen the well practised ritual of seduction she had used to win favour with Louis in France but even Madame Du Pompadour's talents did not spark any passion in him. He had protested he was still too ill and she had grudgingly fallen to sleep beside him, a gulf of mattress between them.
When the Doctor had been sure she was sleeping he had climbed out of bed and changed into his brown pinstripe suit and long fawn jacket. He ran a hand over the delicate rose petals by the mirror before silently leaving the bedroom and returning to the sanctuary of the library, something about books and an open fire reminding him of happier times. Closing the heavy door behind him he slid the bolt home, praying that none of his family would wake and disturb him. He lit the fire and slumped into the high back chair, casting his mind over his disjointed memories in the hope of finding the root of his discomfort.
A/N: Please review.
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