Adam: Oh! Sexy men! You know how I love sexy men!

Allison: (annoyed) Yeah, I know…

Adam: So who is it? Brad Pitt? Leonardo Di Caprio? That hot delivery guy from Pizza Hut?

Allison: No, Adam. It's not Brad Pitt, Leonardo Di Caprio, or that hot delivery guy from Pizza Hut… (sighs dreamily) He has the prettiest brown eyes…

Adam: Oh, I just wanna know already! TELL ME BITCH!!!

Allison: Fine…Okay, you'll NEVER guess who I ran into at Hot Topic yesterday!

Adam: (excited) The hot Pizza Hut delivery guy?

Allison: No, I only wish… Keep guessing…

Adam: Jesse McCartney? Zac Efron? The hot Pizza Hut delivery guy?

Allison: NO, YOU DUMBASS! I DIDN'T SEE THE HOT PIZZA HUT DELIVERY GUY!!! Guess again…

Adam: Robert Pattinson? Taylor Lautner? Nick Jonas? George Lopez?

Allison: Oh, I love George Lopez! But no. I'll give you one more guess…

Adam: The Hot Pizza Hut delivery guy?

Allison: Oh, you're hopeless! Fine, I guess I'll just have to tell you…

Adam: Finally!

Allison: Tom Felton!

(Adam gasps in excitement.)

Adam: OMFG…

(Tom Felton walks in.)

Adam: OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! I'm a BIG fan of yours!

Tom: Same here. I love the show. I even voted for you a few times…

Adam: EEP!

(Angel walks in with her bat, Scott, and Amy.)

Angel: OMG! When did Tom Felton get here?

Amy: Who's Tom Felton?

(Angel and Adam gasp.)

Adam: How do you NOT know who Tom Felton is?

Angel: He played Draco Malfoy in all of the Harry Potter movies! (to Tom) Do you have Rupert Grint's phone number?

Scott: Oh come on, Angel, you know he's not going to give it to any crazed fan girl…

Angel: I AM NOT A CRAZED FAN GIRL!

(silence.)

Angel: I'm an obsessed fan girl…there's a difference…

Tom: Well, actually I don't have it…

Amy: Ugh! I can't believe we had to bring HER along! Hey, wait a sec, where's Caylee?

Adam: Katy killed her!

Scott/Amy/Tom: WHAT!?

Tom: Oh, crap… Allie? How long is this gonna take? Can we go somewhere else? I DON'T WANNA GET KILLED BY A VAMPIRE!!!

Allison: Don't worry, Tom, she's gone now…

(Katy runs in.)

Katy: Hey, can I borrow a hammer?

Tom: *screams* HIDE ME! (Jumps into Adam's arms.)

Katy: HOLY CRAP! WHEN DID TOM FELTON GET HERE?

Tom: Expecto Patronum! Oh, shit. I don't have my wand…I left it in the limo…

Scott: Why do you need a hammer?

Katy: Kris is acting up, I need to punish him, and the iron maiden disappeared…

Scott: That's so mean!

Angel: Why would you do that to Kris? He never did anything to you! He's high, give him some SPACE…

Amy: Do you need help? I'm bored…

Tom: OMG I'M SCARED OF AMY, TOO!

Allison: Amy! You bitch! You made Tom Felton scared of you!

Katy: Is he scared of you, or your face? It's actually quite ugly…

Amy: WHORE!

(Amy grabs Angel's baseball bat and runs after Katy, who runs away from Amy, screaming, and obviously forgetting that she could kill Amy because she's a vampire…)

Adam: Well that was weird…

Tom: Adam? You know what?

Adam: What?

Tom: You have nice skin!

Adam: Uh, thanks…You too?

Tom: And you hair is really shiny and soft…

Allison: Is it just me or is Tom Felton hitting on Adam?

Adam: I don't care! He can continue!

Tom: With pleasure…

Angel: OMG TOM FELTON IS GAY!!!

Allison: He seemed fine in Hot Topic the other day…*gasps* Adam? DID YOU GIVE HIM CRACK?

Adam: (lying badly) No…

Allison: Yeah, right!

Adam: Okay I did!

Tom: COOKIES!

Angel: It's official…

Allison: Hey! How do you know that yelling random things is an effect of crack?

Angel: (lying very badly) I don't randomly stalk you people…What are you talking about? STOP ACCUSING ME OF THINGS I DIDN'T DO!!!

(Amy and Caylee run past everyone chasing Katy with bats and hammers…)

Amy: COME BACK HERE BITCH!

Caylee: REVENGE WILL BE MINE!

(They all run away.)

Angel: Hey, I thought she was dead…

Allison: Me too…

Tom: I think the crack made me delusional…

(Caylee stops and walks back into the room.)

Caylee: Whoa, chasing after vampires is HARD WORK!

(Danny walks into the room wearing Adam-like clothes, eyeliner, nail polish, and earrings.)

Allison: Oh, Adam, is this your new boyfriend?

Adam: No it's Danny!

Allison: (to Danny) Oh, I have a friend named Danny, he…LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU! But without all of the goth crap…OH MY GOD, IT'S DANNY!

Angel: OMG ADAM WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!

Adam: I improved him! He's my clone!

(Caylee slaps Adam.)

Adam: Hey! What was that for?

Caylee: YOU DID NOT IMPROVE HIM!

Angel: I miss the old Danny, the sexy one!

Danny: This is NOT going to end well…