Adam: Oh! Sexy men! You know how I love sexy men!
Allison: (annoyed) Yeah, I know…
Adam: So who is it? Brad Pitt? Leonardo Di Caprio? That hot delivery guy from Pizza Hut?
Allison: No, Adam. It's not Brad Pitt, Leonardo Di Caprio, or that hot delivery guy from Pizza Hut… (sighs dreamily) He has the prettiest brown eyes…
Adam: Oh, I just wanna know already! TELL ME BITCH!!!
Allison: Fine…Okay, you'll NEVER guess who I ran into at Hot Topic yesterday!
Adam: (excited) The hot Pizza Hut delivery guy?
Allison: No, I only wish… Keep guessing…
Adam: Jesse McCartney? Zac Efron? The hot Pizza Hut delivery guy?
Allison: NO, YOU DUMBASS! I DIDN'T SEE THE HOT PIZZA HUT DELIVERY GUY!!! Guess again…
Adam: Robert Pattinson? Taylor Lautner? Nick Jonas? George Lopez?
Allison: Oh, I love George Lopez! But no. I'll give you one more guess…
Adam: The Hot Pizza Hut delivery guy?
Allison: Oh, you're hopeless! Fine, I guess I'll just have to tell you…
Adam: Finally!
Allison: Tom Felton!
(Adam gasps in excitement.)
Adam: OMFG…
(Tom Felton walks in.)
Adam: OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! I'm a BIG fan of yours!
Tom: Same here. I love the show. I even voted for you a few times…
Adam: EEP!
(Angel walks in with her bat, Scott, and Amy.)
Angel: OMG! When did Tom Felton get here?
Amy: Who's Tom Felton?
(Angel and Adam gasp.)
Adam: How do you NOT know who Tom Felton is?
Angel: He played Draco Malfoy in all of the Harry Potter movies! (to Tom) Do you have Rupert Grint's phone number?
Scott: Oh come on, Angel, you know he's not going to give it to any crazed fan girl…
Angel: I AM NOT A CRAZED FAN GIRL!
(silence.)
Angel: I'm an obsessed fan girl…there's a difference…
Tom: Well, actually I don't have it…
Amy: Ugh! I can't believe we had to bring HER along! Hey, wait a sec, where's Caylee?
Adam: Katy killed her!
Scott/Amy/Tom: WHAT!?
Tom: Oh, crap… Allie? How long is this gonna take? Can we go somewhere else? I DON'T WANNA GET KILLED BY A VAMPIRE!!!
Allison: Don't worry, Tom, she's gone now…
(Katy runs in.)
Katy: Hey, can I borrow a hammer?
Tom: *screams* HIDE ME! (Jumps into Adam's arms.)
Katy: HOLY CRAP! WHEN DID TOM FELTON GET HERE?
Tom: Expecto Patronum! Oh, shit. I don't have my wand…I left it in the limo…
Scott: Why do you need a hammer?
Katy: Kris is acting up, I need to punish him, and the iron maiden disappeared…
Scott: That's so mean!
Angel: Why would you do that to Kris? He never did anything to you! He's high, give him some SPACE…
Amy: Do you need help? I'm bored…
Tom: OMG I'M SCARED OF AMY, TOO!
Allison: Amy! You bitch! You made Tom Felton scared of you!
Katy: Is he scared of you, or your face? It's actually quite ugly…
Amy: WHORE!
(Amy grabs Angel's baseball bat and runs after Katy, who runs away from Amy, screaming, and obviously forgetting that she could kill Amy because she's a vampire…)
Adam: Well that was weird…
Tom: Adam? You know what?
Adam: What?
Tom: You have nice skin!
Adam: Uh, thanks…You too?
Tom: And you hair is really shiny and soft…
Allison: Is it just me or is Tom Felton hitting on Adam?
Adam: I don't care! He can continue!
Tom: With pleasure…
Angel: OMG TOM FELTON IS GAY!!!
Allison: He seemed fine in Hot Topic the other day…*gasps* Adam? DID YOU GIVE HIM CRACK?
Adam: (lying badly) No…
Allison: Yeah, right!
Adam: Okay I did!
Tom: COOKIES!
Angel: It's official…
Allison: Hey! How do you know that yelling random things is an effect of crack?
Angel: (lying very badly) I don't randomly stalk you people…What are you talking about? STOP ACCUSING ME OF THINGS I DIDN'T DO!!!
(Amy and Caylee run past everyone chasing Katy with bats and hammers…)
Amy: COME BACK HERE BITCH!
Caylee: REVENGE WILL BE MINE!
(They all run away.)
Angel: Hey, I thought she was dead…
Allison: Me too…
Tom: I think the crack made me delusional…
(Caylee stops and walks back into the room.)
Caylee: Whoa, chasing after vampires is HARD WORK!
(Danny walks into the room wearing Adam-like clothes, eyeliner, nail polish, and earrings.)
Allison: Oh, Adam, is this your new boyfriend?
Adam: No it's Danny!
Allison: (to Danny) Oh, I have a friend named Danny, he…LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU! But without all of the goth crap…OH MY GOD, IT'S DANNY!
Angel: OMG ADAM WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!
Adam: I improved him! He's my clone!
(Caylee slaps Adam.)
Adam: Hey! What was that for?
Caylee: YOU DID NOT IMPROVE HIM!
Angel: I miss the old Danny, the sexy one!
Danny: This is NOT going to end well…
