LIGHTER THAN LIFE CHAPTER ELEVEN

By Sue and Craig

DISCLAIMER: We don't own NCIS or CBS. This is just a fan fiction from our warped minds.

A/N Another chapter that shows how things are with Tony away from work too. This is three weeks into the story, just to let you know. Again we thank you for all your reviews, which we love and it helps keep the story going.

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TONY'S APARTMENT

Over the past two weeks since Abby and Tony had talked about their friendship with benefits, they had been seeing a lot of one another. They still would go out or stay at his apartment, eat and watch a movie, one of them lying on the other's lap. The only thing that changed was they'd end up in bed together, exploring each other in many different ways. They enjoyed all the time they spent together. Enjoyed the way they used what they'd learned over the years about each other's sexual tastes and then discovered new things. Every time, both would be amazed at how well they complimented one another in the bedroom. Abby had stayed at Tony's many nights over the years, sharing the same bed only to cuddle and sleep. Now, she stayed after both had a work out and would cuddle up, pleased and sated. They had made sure nothing changed at work so no one would ask any questions. After all it was their business and no one else's.

Tony couldn't believe how great things were going with their deal. He had always enjoyed spending time with the young forensic scientist over the years. He didn't have to worry about his commitment issues and it seemed that their friendship was holding up just fine. He wondered if this was one of the reasons he was feeling so good these days. He had more energy and was happy. His co-workers were another story, making comments about some of his actions. Maybe they were just jealous, maybe curious about the unknown woman in his life that Ziva had brought up? She'd also been nagging him about not eating that much, which was unusual for the senior field agent. He would always eat several times a day. He just figured it was due to him and Abby and that part would wear off soon, though he knew Ziva was right about one thing, his low blood sugar. He figured the low blood sugar thing had something to do with his actions. Figured that was what made his team mates remark about those actions. He shrugged it off, knowing that it would fix its self in time and would try to remember to eat; only he wasn't very hungry lately.

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Abby lay in Tony's bed with a sheet loosely around her late on a Saturday night, more accurately, morning. She glanced at the clock to see it read 1:15 a.m. as her body still felt the satisfaction of the hours they had played. She sighed with physical contentment, yet her mind was working overtime and had been the past week or so. Abby had known Tony for sometime, they shared secrets they'd never tell anyone else. Matter of fact, Abby knew more about Tony than anyone else did. She was happy with their arrangement albeit it took her a few days to get Tim away from his questions. Questions about that incredible night that Tony and she had fallen into bed together. Still, she'd seen a difference in Tony, a difference that her colleagues had also noticed. He was more hyper-active than usual, which didn't bother her since she could be too. Only she knew Tony. Knew that it wasn't just what they were doing and how the secrecy added to the excitement of their fling that caused the change or had it? She hoped it was the reason.

There were times he couldn't sit still, times when he'd usually comment on movies which now, if he even followed them, were a miracle in its self. She'd been wondering like the rest of the team what was going on with Tony. Any little questions on the subject he'd wave off, saying he thought it was just the newness of what they were up to or the blood sugar that Ziva pointed out. And at first Abby bought that reason, but after tonight she didn't. He'd dragged her to a club both wanted to go to. And then, had out danced her in the mosh pit, jumping around and having so much energy that she finally had to drag him out, promising sex. But as great as the sex had been, his energy was over the top and even tired her out.

Well, there was only one thing to do, she thought. When Tony came back with their drinks she'd have a talk with him. She was wondering if it were drugs albeit he had told her over the years he had never done any, unless in the hospital. Most of the time, once he came home from the hospital he'd flush them. But her curiosity wouldn't stop. She had to ask him, again.

Tony came through the bedroom door, in his boxers. He carried a Red Bull for Abby and a large mug that Tony had bought since his others were too small, of coffee. His eyes shone as he smiled brightly at Abby and handed over the beverage. He then carefully got into bed along side of her and sipped more of his coffee.

Abby wondered if Tony was trying to be like Gibbs, or if like he said, really enjoyed the new flavor he'd found. She couldn't say anything about caffeine not letting you sleep because her body was soaked with it. She'd sleep, though not as many hours as most and knew that was from the caffeine. Even thought Tony was an early riser and ran before work, he slept less now as well. She sighed loudly catching Tony's attention.

Tony sat against the headboard, cocked his head and turned slightly at hearing Abby's sigh.

"Abs, what's wrong?" His voice filled with gentle concern, "Did I do something?" the voice came out quickly.

Abby didn't know how to start this conversation. They were so close that she figured just spitting it out would be the best way. After all that was what she usually did when she needed to talk to him about something that was bothering her.

"Tony?"

"Yeeeesssss?" His voice was teasing with a light smile. He knew something was up but couldn't bring himself to be totally serious. He'd have to really try, if something was bothering her.

"Um, we've been friends for a long time and tell each other everything. You know like what we've been up to, latest partners, past secrets and so many other things. We just confide and dump it all out and trust the other person to not judge and are there for each other. I mean that's what good friends do, not that we don't do that 'cause like I said we do and all. And…….." Abby was cut off from her rambling, rambling that the whole team was so used to, it was, Abby.

"Abs, you trying to tell me something? Maybe about our arrangement?" he didn't even want to think that she wanted to stop sleeping with him. He felt his heart racing more at the thought.

"Oh no Tony, that's not it at all." Her hand fell lightly on his bicep in order to reassure him, "it's just that I've noticed a difference in you and so has the team. I really saw it tonight at the club and then you were more, um, how can I say this, energetic? Not that that's a bad thing 'cause it's not, it's great but I know you and you are energetic just not as energetic……" Again she was cut off.

"ABBY!" Tony forced out sternly to stop the continual circle of words.

"Right, sorry. Well, I know we've discussed this before but I wanna bring it up again," She bit her lip, worried about how he'd take what she was going to say, "are you by any chance taking drugs, or maybe a doctor has prescribed you drugs for something?" There, it was out in the open. And, she could feel herself almost wincing at the way he might take her question.

"What?" He chuckled, put his coffee down and then had a hardy laugh.

"Tony, this isn't funny, I'm worried about you." Sincere worry and care tumbled out.

"Noooooo, no way!" he continued to laugh, "You thi ……you think……I'm using…..drugs?" came out in between gulping breaths and the laughter that still filled his voice.

"Really?" the question came out shyly.

"Yes, really. I told you so many times that I've never had the desire to do drugs, never tried anything unless in the hospital and had to take them. I've seen too many junkies and what happens to them when I was on the force to want that." his voice became quieter, softer as he stared straight at the wall, almost as if he were watching a movie on it. He wrung his hands on his lap before he continued, "Before that, my damn mother drank and, she took pills to escape my father and probably me too. But that doesn't matter, she took them to escape and I don't want that either, plus that's what caused her car accident and death." He swiped a shaky hand through his hair and looked at her incredulously.

"I'm sorry, Tony. It's just like I said and now I've got you all upset." Her eyes glanced at the shaking hand, "Why are you shaking?"

"Maybe because of my mother, maybe because of what you and now I find out the team might be thinking? Christ Abs, I'd never do that to myself, never. Please tell them that, ok? I don't wanna bring it up." Tony told her while he tried to pull himself back together.

The subject hadn't shaken him up at first, until he thought about his mother, and how things had changed in his life due to her use of drugs and alcohol. How things got even worse for him with his father after she died. Not that things with his father were ever great, but they tumbled in a downward spiral after his mother had died. And now the team thought what Abby asked was possible? He jumped out of the bed and started pacing. He couldn't sit still or even cuddle with her, or do anything, not with his mind racing at warp speed.

"Tony, calm down. Please." she begged him, "I'm sorry. I just needed to know and I'll tell the team. I'm just worried and so are they. Tony, please?" Abby explained and then tried to beg more for him to calm down. She felt so badly now. His mother and father was always a touchy topic and you never knew which way Tony's emotions would swing with that subject.

Tony felt like a caged animal, heart racing with fear and memories that played movies in his head. He had to get out, had to move, do something. Tony grabbed sweats, socks, sneakers and a T-shirt before starting to change.

"Abs, it's not you, really. I just need to run, I calm down and think better on the move. I just need to run far away from …..from…..these feelings. Back in 30 minutes, don't worry," He came over to the other side of the bed fully dressed in his running clothes, bent down and kissed her, "I'll be back" His eyes locked with hers.

Abby felt so horrible. Their eyes locked. Tony's showed the sometimes irrational fears he had and, she knew he saw sadness in hers. "Promise you'll come back in 30 minutes?" a child like voice came out.

"Promise, really." Eye contact torn away, a hand brushed black hair away from her face and then he left the room.

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Abby heard the front door close and looked at the clock to time him, 2:00 a.m. He better be back soon and I hope his mood changes. Maybe I'll join him in the shower, she began to plan. That would also make him and me feel better, get our minds in a different place, Abby contemplated.

Abby paced around in one of Tony's Ohio State shirts waiting for him. She looked at the clock again, forty five minutes and he wasn't back yet and it was so late to be running. She knew Tony ran to clear his head and that he was running from his demons. Still she worried until there was a click of the lock and the door opened. Abby ran over to Tony while he closed the door and locked it. She jumped into his unexpected arms, hugging him tightly.

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Tony unlocked the door. He'd run longer than he expected but he needed to chase away the dark thoughts in his head, needed to erase them. All he wanted was a drink and a shower. He walked in, closed and locked the front door. He turned around and was hit by a ball of fury. A body jumped into his arms, wrapped legs around his waist and was holding him so tight, strangling him. Abby. He knew she'd be worried when he had checked his watch on his way up to his floor.

"Abby, can't breathe." He crocked out.

"Oh my God, oh my God, I'm so sorry, but I was so worried about you." The words all came out in one breath. Her arms loosened from around his neck.

"Sorry, lost track of time." He held her backside and ran his hands to her thighs, loosening them and then slid her down his body.

She cocked her head. "You alright?"

Tony walked into the kitchen, took a paper towel and ran it over his brow to catch the sweat. "Yeah." He breathed out.

Abby followed him in and wrapped her arms around his waist from the back. She laid her head on his back and didn't mind the sweat soaked shirt. The wetness seeped into her face, and the smell surprisingly turned her on. Pheromones, she wondered? Well, whatever it was, it was Tony and she was glad he allowed her to hold him this way. She then felt his hands caress the top of hers.

"I need something to drink and a shower," he told her while he loosened her hands along with her arms before he turned to the fridge. He took out a bottle of water and downed the whole thing before throwing it out, "Going to take a shower now." He told her with a tired and weary voice.

"Hey, you mind if I come with you? I could wash your back and I could really clean your front. You know I do my best cleaning when I kneel." She eyed him with a sly teasing smile.

For the first time since the darkness of his past brought him down, a smile teased his face. "Oh yeah? Gonna show me?"

"You bet, mister." Abby took his hand and happily led him to the shower.

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AUTOPSY

Ducky sat at his desk filing out a file. He knew it was almost time to leave and go take care of his mother. God he hoped he didn't have to re-play the same episode of Jeopardy tonight. He had sent Mr. Palmer home a while ago after an autopsy and all the instruments were cleaned. He leaned over the file and signed his name before he sat up and sighed out of relief that it was done. He started to put the form in the file when he heard the shish of the doors open. He looked up to see the forensic scientist standing in the doorway, biting her lip and looking unsure if she should come in any further, This got a reaction from the ME, Abby never had trouble coming in to see him. He only remembered one time when a dream had kept her out for awhile until she was able to get over her phobia. She then ended up sleeping in autopsy and hadn't had a problem with the room since.

"Abigail?" Ducky questioned as he glanced up.

"Hey Duckman. Do you have a few minutes to talk?" She asked pensively.

Ducky pushed the form into the file and then slid it into his desk and locked it up.

"Of course I do, my dear. I've just finished. Come, have a seat." Ducky motioned to the other chair on wheels.

Abby smiled, sat down and then pushed the chair closer to her friend.

"Now what can I do for you?" Ducky asked and gave her all of his attention.

"Well I know you wouldn't tell anyone about this. I also know that people come to you all the time and you don't go and tell what they've said. I hope you don't, you won't, right?" She cocked her head before hurrying on, "of course you'd never tell anyone what I've said to you, you never do……." Abby was cut off by a look from Ducky.

"Ok, rambling, I had a lot of Caf-Pows today. I just don't know who else to talk to because I can't talk to Gibbs, and defiantly not Timmy, he'd freak on me. And Ziva, well she, I don't think she'd just talk to me without saying something about this." Her pig tails bobbed as she spoke, her face showed how nervous she was.

"Abigail, I can assure you I always keep a confidence. You know I have in our past conversations. Now, what is it that I can do for you?" Ducky assured her before he pushed for the reason she needed to speak to him.

"Well, it's Tony. I know that the team has seen some differences in him and I know you probably have too. Have you?" She stared, her eyebrow raised in question.

"I can say that I have seen a bit of a difference in Anthony over the past few weeks but nothing I saw was rash. I shall say he seems not to be taking care of himself. Why do you ask?" Now it was Ducky's turn to hear what Abby had seen. He had this conversation with Gibbs, Ziva and Timothy, but told no one, not even each other. Now seeing Abby he wondered how long before Jethro came back down to have this talk again.

"Ok, Tony's been doing some strange things. He isn't as focused as he usually is on a case or on outside things. Ducky you can't tell Gibbs, he'd kill us both. But you know that Tony and I have been friends for such a long time. I know more about him than anyone here. We talk and tell each other everything and now we crossed that line, you know, rule number 12. But it's not serious, we spoke about it and we aren't serious and keep our friendship separate from, well, um, other things. But I've noticed that he is distracted easily, hasn't been eating right. I mean we had pizza last night and he usually eats five slices and only had one. We also went to a club Saturday night and he dance more than me. And you know I'm the queen of the mosh pit. His energy level is higher than normal. He's so energetic he can tire me out and that's pretty hard to do. He did in the mosh pit. Oh, a mosh pit, you know what that is right?" She asked curiously

"My dear girl, you have explained that to me but I'll never understand how young people can jump around, bump into each other and basically hurt one another. I don't see the enjoyment of this said, mosh pit. But do go on." Ducky cut himself off and encouraged Abby to finish.

Abby giggled at how Ducky went on with his thoughts and how he described the mosh pit. She then took her cue to continue. "I had to drag him out and promise him sex. Oops, sorry, Ducky." Abby looked down, ashamed at mentioning sex in such a causal way.

"No apologies necessary, my girl. Now please finish."

"I don't know Duckman, but Tony is so sweet, a gentleman, he isn't what he shows everyone, you know?" She looked up to see Ducky's reaction.

"Yes, I do know and I know a bit of the reason for this. Of course I'd never say anything to young Anthony unless he came and spoke to me about it. But there are things in his file that are a mystery, so I called in a few favors to find out I'm afraid." Ducky's face heated in a blush.

"No, I understand, really. His childhood was horrible and he freaked out Saturday night, well maybe it was morning because it was after 1 A.M. when we spoke. Anyway, when I asked him if he were taking drugs, you know, or if he'd gone to the doctors and was given any. I can't believe that he just laughed, I mean really laughed. And then he told me what he's always told me, that he has no desire to take drugs what so ever. Especially after seeing junkies on the job over the years and when he was young how his mother died from drugs and alcohol." She trailed off and thought about the other night.

"How did Anthony, as you said, freak out?" This interested Ducky since he had investigated Tony's past the first year or two that he was at NCIS. He had found out the sad truth of the lads visits to the hospitals and the absence of visits to make sure he was healing right, or that his stitches had been removed. He had found out later that Mr. DiNozzo had a private doctor that would do this and then reasoned there had been more so called accidents that this doctor took care of in order to keep Anthony out of the hospital.

"Well, his mood changed and his moods can change fast these days, but that's what I've heard, he hasn't really been that way with me though. But instead of explaining and trying to figure out a movie we're watching like we used to, well, he doesn't anymore. He gets distracted and I'm lucky if we finish the movie, but that only happened a few times." Abby sighed.

"Abigail, how did Anthony get out of control? Did he hit you?" Ducky asked in concern.

"Oh no, no, nothing like that. He was sweet, but it was like his demons were after him. He went running at two in the morning, you know, to clear his head. He does that all the time. And also I think to try and out run those demons from his past. One thing I've learned is that I have to watch what I say about his past and if we talk about it I have to make sure he's either drunk or able to handle it, which he isn't really. And he'll tell me and then either get angry or sob and I have to hold him. He feels like it's weak to cry, his father always told him that DiNozzo's don't cry it's weak…..I think that's crap. But anyway, no he's never hurt me and won't. He treats me and always has treated me like a princess, or makes me feel special and I make sure I do the same for him. You know he is a very tactile person and I touch him a lot and caress his hair, he loves that, calms him right down. I think it's probably 'cause no one ever touched him as a child or as a teen, not even his mother who was a lot nicer than his father. And now I'm way off what I came down to talk to you about." Abby realized that she had been so worried about her friend that she had spilled things to Ducky that she had promised she would never tell a soul. That wasn't her. She always kept her promises, never telling anyone.

Ducky lifted Abby's chin. "I know you've told me more than Anthony would want me to know. Believe me I will not say a word. It would only embarrassed the poor boy and I'd never hurt him. He's been hurt too much already and I believe that is why he is afraid of commitments with his lady friends."

"Yeah, me too. But I just want to know if you see anything different about him."

"I have noticed he's lost some weight and now that you mention it he has been a bit distracted and at times seems to have more energy than usual. Some of this could be from his low blood sugar he usually eats many times a day, gives the vending machine a work out. And if he isn't eating right that would explain the distractions and also when he eats how it seems like he has more energy." Ducky stood up and motioned for Abby to do the same, "I'll keep my eye on him and see if there is anything else. If there is something then we will run tests and see if maybe his sugar is worse. And some of this maybe from the extra activities you both have been up to?" Ducky smiled.

Abby felt better now that she has spoken to Ducky. She sighed and then let her thoughts out. "You maybe right, Ducky. Tony goes on these pink clouds when he first meets a woman but not like this so maybe it's a bit of both…..Thanks Ducky for keeping an eye on him and you'll tell me if you see anything that isn't right? I mean he may be back to normal soon and it might be like you said, a couple of things mixed together."

"Yes, but of course I'd tell you if I think something is wrong. I'll watch to see if it's just more on his mind and his sugar. I will remind him to eat and I think you should make sure he eats when he is with you." Ducky knew he would get a hug from Abby. He planted his feet firmly when she wrapped herself around him.

"Thanks again Ducky. I do feel a whole lot better. And I know you won't tell anyone, especially Tony about what I said about now and his past. And that you won't tell Gibbs about rule twelve." She released the ME with a huge smile on her face.

"You can count on me, not a word will escape these lips." Ducky promised and watched the lab tech bounce out of autopsy feeling more like herself.

He smiled at how the whole team was worried about Tony and wondered if Tony realized how much they were friends as much as team mates. Ducky would watch Anthony to see if something more than his sugar and his sex life was what had him acting a bit oddly. The boy had been hurt too much by his so called parents and he hoped that there wasn't anything more wrong with the lad. He also hoped that Abby and Tony wouldn't hurt each other with this new addition to their friendship. He didn't understand it and wondered whatever happened to the old days as he put on his coat and hat and then turned off the lights to leave.