Persephone
It was early when I awoke, though it was hard to say just how I knew since no light ever came through these windows.
My mind was foggy with sleep, filled with the dusty cobwebs of dreams. Still, I knew immediately where I was and what had woken me.
The bed gave another creak as the man shifted. He was sitting up, his back to me, leaning over for something on the floor. Several strands of my hair hid my face as I watched him through half closed eyes, pretending to still be asleep.
The smooth skin of his back moved over the bumpy ridge of his spine, the triangular shape of his shoulder blades, the edges of his ribs. I couldn't keep all the blush out of my face when I spotted the eight parallel lines from my fingernails, faded from bright pink to silver on his fast healing skin.
Grabbing his tunic up off the floor, Hades stood, tugging it over his head. I watched him through my eyelashes, taking in his form. I'd already known he was a tall man-standing up I reached his shoulder- and I'd had a good notion of his strength after he'd pinned me against his side. Now I could see the muscles themselves rippling under his fair skin. He wasn't as bulky as I had expected. He had a runner's body, long and lanky with ropey muscles. He reminded me of a hound, designed for the chase.
I didn't blush quite as much as some might expect as I watched him dress. After all, I had lived a thousand years in a hot climate belonging to a society with rather loose ideas concerning modesty, especially the male sort. Sheltered as I was, Hades was hardly the first naked man I had ever seen.
Still, looking at his skin brought back memories from the night before. I didn't shy away from what had taken place. It was hardly unexpected. We were married, whether I had wanted it or not and married people slept together, or at least they did on their wedding night. I had spent the entire day before mentally preparing myself for what would happen and had come to terms with my lot. Or so I kept saying.
In reality I had just been trying to protect myself. I'd know what the god of the Underworld would expect and surrendering myself willingly seemed a better choice than angering him and being raped.
Though he had stopped me when I had been about to take off my gown. He'd said that we could wait until I was ready, which had struck me as odd. As he continued to speak, telling me those things he believed I wanted to hear I'd relaxed just the tiniest bit. Why bother taking the time to tell me that if he was going to take what he wanted anyway? And when he'd kissed me, I felt the same thing I had when I touched the strange flower in the meadow, the fire that burned low in my belly.
Now I just felt hollow inside, the fire grown cold with only the dingy ashes remaining.
Hades stretched, joints popping as he raised his arms above his head. His black hair was as tangled as a briar bush. Looking at him, I grudgingly admitted that if nothing else, at least I had been given to a handsome man. His beard was shorter than many I'd seen, trimmed so that it didn't hide the pair of full lips underneath. His straight nose and high cheekbones balanced out the somber gray eyes above them. Those eyes reminded me of my sister Athena's in their color. That, however, was where all resemblance ended. Athena's eyes were like storm clouds over the sea, beautiful in their intensity, yet they would soften in her laughter. Hades eyes were the color of iron and just as hard. It was difficult to imagine him laughing.
Dressed now, I saw his head turn in my direction. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on my breathing. Slow deep breath in...I could feel those eyes on me now, moving over my face, the exposed skin of my back where the sheet had fallen away during the night...and slow, gentle exhale. He looked at me for quite some time, making my skin prickle under his gaze. After awhile he made his way across the room, away from the bed, trying to be quiet so not to wake me. Slow deep breath in...I heard the door open...slow, gentle exhale...and close.
As soon as I was sure he was gone, I rolled onto my back, pulling the sheet up to cover me. Staring at the high ceiling, I thought about my strange predicament.
I was married, officially married now, to a god I barely knew. I was no longer a maiden, no longer my mother's Little Kore. Now I was Persephone, bride of Hades, queen of the Underworld.
My brow furrowed as I considered that. Queen of the Underworld. It sounded so foreign, ludicrous. I wasn't a queen, I was a flower goddess, a girl whose nose was usually sunburned and whose feet were toughened to leather from walking barefoot all her life. Two days ago being a queen had been about the furthest thing from my mind.
Stretching out my limbs, I winced. I ached all over, especially the place between my legs. As I again recalled the reason why, the hollow feeling seemed to expand inside me. Last night hadn't been anything like I had expected. Having only had my conversations with my mother and Artemis to go off of, I honestly had very little idea what to prepare myself for. Given the scenarios leading up to the occasion however, I had foreseen little of the enjoyment Momma had hinted at, and all of the alleged brutality of my sister's stories.
What I had not been prepared for was the heat. I'd never felt anything like it. Everywhere he touched, even if it was only a brush of his lips was like being branded. The heat burned away my reason, made me momentarily forget my hatred. And it had made me want more.
The whole experience had felt...strange. Sometimes it was very good, while other times I had to bite my tongue because of the pain. Through it all there seemed to be something missing, some quality that my subconscious must have been waiting for. In my lust clouded mind I hadn't been able to put my finger on it but now as I lay there clear headed I understood.
When Momma had told me about physical love, it had been just that, love. To say I didn't love Hades was an understatement. The man had taken everything away from me, my home. My family. My virginity. Everything I'd taken for granted two days ago was now lost to me forever.
Whenever I'd considered marriage, which admittedly hadn't been very often, I'd always thought my wedding night would be like a dream. A beautiful dream where I willingly gave everything to the man who held me in his arms, whispering that he loved me. In my imaginings I would love him back and rejoice in our union. I'd wake up the next morning still in his embrace, feeling like the happiest creature in the world.
Instead I woke up to him stealing out of my bedchamber without even a kiss goodbye, relief blooming in my chest as I watched him go. Instead of happiness I felt only confusion and more homesickness than I 'd known was possible.
A timid rap on the door made me start.
"Who is it?" I called warily.
"Daeira, Your Grace." came the muffled reply.
"Come in." I kept my eyes on the ceiling as the door creaked open.
"How are you feeling this morning Your Highness?" Daeira came into view, her golden head floating over the tray she held in her hand. I smelled fish. I stared at her for a moment more before I answered.
"I'm fine." My eyes moved back to the ceiling. I heard her feet shuffle as she shifted her weight.
"I-I've brought you some food."
"Thank-you, but I'm not hungry."
"You should eat milady. You need to keep your strength up." She coaxed.
"Deathless Ones eat because we like to, not because it is necessary for our survival. I'm not hungry." Internally I made a vow never to eat a crumb from the king's table. If he wanted a queen for his dreary realm he would get one just as dreary. Gods eat when we are happy and I was positive that no form of happiness was any longer within my reach. Daeira sighed.
"As you say milady." She walked away from the bed. I heard the clink of dishes as she placed the tray on a nearby table.
"What would you like to do today, Your Highness?" She asked brightly, coming back to my side. I blinked at her uncomprehendingly.
"I could run you a bath." I snorted.
"What is it with you and baths?" She'd made that same offer at least four times since I'd met her. She smiled, pleased to finally get an answer out of me.
"The king put special water chutes above the tubs. Now water falls straight into the basin without us having to haul it anymore. No one else has such things."
"Seems rather ridiculous to me." But I had to admit that Momma's maidservants would have killed for such a luxury. Thinking about them sent another stab of homesickness through me.
"With all due respect milady, that's only because you've never steeped in a truly hot bath. Would you like me to run you one? It would help with all the soreness." She averted her eyes as she said that. In spite of everything I felt my cheeks growing warm.
"Oh if you really want to." I huffed. In all honesty though, I did feel in desperate need of some soap and hot water. Sitting up, I made a face at the pain in my waist area. Moments later I heard the rush of water in the other room.
Sliding into the bathtub, my breath hitched at the warmth. I sank up to me neck in the hot water, pulling up my knees so that they poked up through the soap suds. Daeira had gone into the other room, leaving me alone with my thoughts for a moment. Closing my eyes, I tried not to think at all, letting the wonderful water do it's work.
She came back, a bundle of fabric in her arms. I caught a hint of gold.
"What is that?" I asked. Smiling prettily, Daeira let the fabric hang free, revealing a gorgeous white peplos spangled with gold embroidery and tiny beads all up and down the front with a gold fringed shawl to match.
"Isn't it wonderful Your Highness? The king had it made just for -"
"Take it back." I said quietly, shutting her down.
"Milady?" The girl asked in confusion.
"I said take it back. Bring me something gray, or black if there is none."
"But Your Ladyship-"
"Do it Daeira." I ordered her, voice hard. Biting her lip, Daeira meekly ducked her head and did as she was told, coming back with a black chiton hemmed in crimson with a belt to match.
"It's the only one there was milady." Taking it in, I nodded in approval. Though finer than what I usually wore, the chiton was a far cry from the beautiful peplos.
"It's perfect. Thank you Daeira." I closed my eyes again.
After I was dressed, Daeira repeated her earlier inquiry about what I wanted to do that day. I wasn't sure what she meant.
"What is there to do?" I couldn't fathom anything even slightly entertaining in this dismal place. Yet the idea of sitting curled up in my corner again didn't sound like a very good option either.
"Oh, plenty of things. There is an entire palace to explore, lots of beautiful rooms. The king designed it all himself when he came here you know. And there is the rest of the city. The market and Judgement Hall and the dream trees,"
"Dream Trees?" I asked incredulously. Daeira nodded excitedly.
"Oh, yes, that's the place where dreams are made. It's a whole thicket of...Well you have to see it to understand." I raised my eyebrows. As much as I hated to admit it, I was a bit curious. I had been introduced to the god of dreams, Morpheus, the night before. I shuddered. In comparison to some of the other daemons, Morpheus had been downright ordinary. A thought occurred to me.
"Where is the dog?" Daeira paused.
"Dog?"
"Cerberus, the three headed monster who guards the gates of Hades. Where is he?"
"Oh, he wanders around the edge of the kingdom, keeping intruders out. But you don't want to go anywhere near that beast milady. He'd as soon rip you apart as look at you."
"What? But I thought he only did that to intruders!"
"He does...usually. But with you're aura he probably mistake you for one."
"My what?" We had moved out onto the balcony. I was leaning with my hands on the rail looking out over the misty plateau. It looked exactly the same as the first time I'd seen it. I wondered how the Underworld marked the passage of time without the sun. Then I felt stupid. This was the Eternal Realm. No one aged here and no one died. Time was irrelevant.
"Your aura. It's the light inside all living things, their soul. You have the brightest aura I've ever seen, brighter even than the king's. It's actually very difficult to look at you if I concentrate on it very much." I watched in amazement as her eyes scrunched up around the edges, as if she were staring at a very bright light. After only a few moments she had to look away.
I felt a sinking in my chest."Is it really that hard to be around me?" Why had no one ever told me about this? I'd heard mentions of auras before, but never anything concerning my own. Daeira looked surprised.
"No, of course not milady. I just have to not look at your aura is all. I think it's because you lived in the Upperworld so long. The king lived there for a few years and his soul is brighter than most people's. Or maybe you're just special." She grinned encouragingly. I gave a small smile in return though my thoughts were elsewhere.
"Is that why everyone was staring at me last night?" Remembering the startled looks I'd been given, they made slightly more sense after what she'd just told me. Daeira nodded.
"Probably. Of course it's not every day we get a new queen. Especially as pretty a one as you." She peered at me.
"You really are incredibly beautiful, if I may say so milady. I can see why the king picked you." I wrinkled my nose.
"I'm no more beautiful than anyone else in my family." My thoughts went to elegant Hera and gorgeous Aphrodite."In fact, compared to some of them I'm hardly anything at all." Daeira shook her head.
"I doubt that Your Highness." Was all she said. She strolled back into the chamber, leaving me alone on the balcony. As usual my thoughts immediately drifted to Momma. What was she doing right now? Looking for me no doubt. Sadness choked me as I thought of her, out of her mind with worry. Would I ever be allowed to see her again? I longed to go to her, to wrap my arms around her and say everything was alright.
Glancing back into my bedchamber I saw Daeira strip the bedclothes off my bed. There were traces of dried blood on the sheets. Turning a brilliant shade of red, I turned my back to the scene. How would I explain what had happened to Momma, that I had willingly given my body to a man I did not love? And worse, that I had enjoyed it? What would she say? What could she say?
"Do you still wish to see the dream trees milady?" Daeira called from behind me. Taking a deep breath I shoved those thoughts to the corner of my mind. There was nothing to be done about it now.
"If you still wish to take me." I feigned cheerfulness. Forcing myself away from the railing, I walked back into the room.
"Of course." She smiled. Daeira was so pretty when she smiled. Unlike the daemons and monsters running around the place, Daeira looked like any nymph from home, perfectly normal. It was a relief to have her by my side. Without taking a moment to think about it, I hooked her arm in mine so we could walk together. Her look of surprise was fleeting. She was growing used to my ways, so different from the cold and demanding nobility she was used to.
She led me through the palace. Sometimes it was hard to remember that this place was carved into the mountainside. The ceilings were so high and the rooms so vast it gave the place a feeling of airiness. I was glad, never being one to like enclosed spaces.
I was also surprised by all the colors used in the decorating. I'd always assumed Hades' palace would be a mosaic of black and gray. Instead the place was full of deep reds and polished bronze, cerulean, mahogany, cream and jade. Walking down one especially scenic corridor, I paused beside a painted mural of the brothers Prometheus and Epimetheus in a forest. Prometheus knelt on one knee, a stick in his hand. He was drawing something in the dirt as Epimetheus hunkered down next to him, hand held to his chin in a pose of concentration. The brothers were startlingly life-like and painted in full color. Prometheus' long scarlet braid stood out from the more subdued hues of the hushed forest. It was stunning.
"Who did this?" I asked, gesturing to the artwork. Daeira considered the portrait as if she hadn't really noticed it before.
"I'm not sure exactly who. The king hired dozens of artisans to work on this place." As we continued on we passed more and more of the wall paintings. Some were scenes I recognized, the Creation, epic battles scenes from the Titanochamy, the division of the cosmos. Most however I didn't remember from any of the stories Momma had told. Ranging in emotion from horrific to cheerful, the artwork often portrayed candid moments of the immortals.
In one saw Hypnos and Thanatos standing close to one another, heads tilted towards each other in earnest conversation. Hypnos looked like he was attempting to persuade the other god of something.
In another it was a young woman with startling gray eyes staring out of her beautiful face. Her hair and clothes whipped in the wind as she glowered up at an invisible giant behind me. Her lips were pulled back in a snarl, a spear grasped in her right hand. I recognized her by description as Metis, Athena's mother.
The goddess Hestia was displayed in multiple murals, usually near a campfire. Her orange hair seemed to gleam in the torchlight, a smirk on her face as she held a red apple in her hands, thoughts elsewhere.
On and on we went through the palace, our going slow as I paused every few minutes to look at the pictures. Growing up a nomad, drawings of any kind were a novelty, and these were splendid. In the guttering light of the torches the subjects almost seemed to be breathing, waiting for me to pass by so that they could continue their hushed conversations. It was riveting.
At last I came to the one face I knew better than any other. It was bizarre, seeing her in this dark place. Momma sat on a log bridging over a narrow stream, head tilted back, eyes closed as she dipped her feet in the water. Her hair was unbound, framing her face and falling down to her waist like a curly dark waterfall. She was smiling a little, as if she knew I was watching her.
"Come sit with me Persephone. The water feels so good." I could hear her voice in my mind as clearly as if she had really called to me from the painting. Trembling, I turned away from picture and ran down the hall, back the way we had come. My throat felt like I had tried to swallow a stone and tears traced their way down my cheeks. How dare he? How dare he have a picture of her here on his stone wall as if he owned any part of her? Hadn't he done enough? Wasn't it bad enough that he had separated her from me forever? Now he had to mock me, tease me with memories I was forbidden to remember.
What had taken us ten minutes to travel at my slow pace I ran in only half a minute. Coming to my bedroom door, I slammed it shut behind me, throwing myself on the bed.
Pressing my face into the pillow I screamed out my frustration. I was so tired of being sad, so tired of feeling afraid, so tired of feeling ashamed and confused and miserable. So so tired of it all. There was a rap at the door.
"Milady?"
"Go away!" I screeched. I bawled into the pillow, kicking my feet like a spoiled child. I didn't care. I hated this place, hated everything about it. I was ashamed that I had been going to go see the dream trees. I should have never left my room, never shown the slightest interest in the Underworld. It was my prison, and any love I felt for it would be a betrayal to the mother who had always given me everything I could ever need. Standing to my feet, rage finally boiling inside me, I stalked over to where Daeira had set my breakfast on the table. Taking it, tray and all, I went out and hurled it over the side of the balcony, watching as the fine dishes shattered in the courtyard far below.
Still crying, but with hatred now instead of fear, I hurried back into the chamber, bringing out every fine thing I could carry. Over the side went the golden peplos, wadded into a ball. Dainty crockery, a painted wooden box, the silver pitcher, it was all flung to the earth.
"Trying to impress me was he?" I spat. "Thinking he could shut me up with these pretty baubles and I'd be as tame as a little lost kitten. Well the jokes on you Hades!" I raised my voice for the last part, heaving a rather heavy carved wooden chest, the top inlaid with ivory. It smashed with a deafening crack on the stones below. A few figures stirred, drawn by the noise. One looked up to where the broken objects had come from. Drawing quickly back from the balustrade I closed the balcony doors. Now that some of my rage was fading, I felt a bit uneasy. How would my husband react when he heard about this? Gritting my teeth I decided I didn't care.
I passed the next few hours alone, restlessly pacing the floor or lying sprawled out on the bed, thinking about Momma and the grassy hills of Nysa and wondering if I would ever see either of them again.
Daeira came in with my meals which were tossed out the window as soon as she left. In my boredom I went to the chest at the end of my bed and sorted through the clothes- my clothes. They were all richly made and in a variety of colors. Shutting the lid in disgust I moved away. I could see what Hades was doing. He had told me so himself last night when he'd said I would lack for nothing. These clothes, this room, the jewelry and delectable food. It was his passive aggressive way of bribing me into docility, of making me his happy little flower wife who lived to spread her legs for him. Well I wasn't going to have it.
I would be good, more or less. As we were married, I would allow him his rights as my husband, access to my bed for one. And for his end of the bargain I would take him up on his promise of protection and the freedom to go from place to place through his empire. That however, was where it ended. I was not a doll to be dressed in fancy clothes. I was in mourning, mourning the life I had lost. I suppose I was like the dead that way, being taken from the Land of the Living where I belonged and dragged down here to rot.
A rap on the door. I frowned. Surely that wasn't Daeira with more food?
"Yes?"
"It's me." The muffled voice was masculine. Despite everything I'd told myself a tingle of fear went down my spine, as well as a hint of...anticipation? No. It was just the nervousness of what he would say to all the broken furniture.
"Come in." I called, hopping off the bed, smoothing out my chiton. Hades poked his head through the door, as if to see if I was really there. Coming the rest of the way in, he gently shut the door behind him. His eyes darted around the room before resting on me. I swallowed hard.
"Did you not like the decorations?" He asked gruffly. I bit my lip, then caught myself and stopped. Steady.
"They didn't suit me, no." I answered politely. He tilted his head to the side. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and I wished I knew if it was from anger.
"I can get you some more. Or you can pick them out this time." He offered. I shook my head. I didn't want any more of his 'gifts'.
"I'm fine. I like it as it is thank you." I could see he was about to object but thought better of it. He was dressed quite well, the black himation over his tunic edged in scarlet. With an uneasy feeling, I realized we matched.
"Did you have an important meeting today?" I asked to distract him. He looked startled by the question, glancing down at himself as if he'd forgotten he was dressed up.
"Er, yes. Just a council session." He waved his hand dismissively. He came closer to me, uncrossing his arms. I looked at him calmly, though my heart increased in speed with every step he took. He lightly touched the edge of my chiton, raising goosebumps on my arms. "How was your day?" He asked conversationally. Or it would have been a conversational tone for other people. Hades' voice was so low that everything he said sounded like he was telling a secret.
"Um, fine." I said lamely.
"Did your maid pick this out for you?" He asked, rubbing the black material between his fingers.
"Yes. Well, no. Daeira chose another dress but I liked this one better." I explained. His eyebrows drew together.
"You liked the black?"
"Yes." I said firmly. His eyes moved away from his fingers to meet my own. He had very long eyes lashes that brushed against his cheek bones when he blinked. His eyes were as opaque as a steel wall, hiding everything he was thinking.
"Have you looked at the other gowns? I know I asked for-" I'd had enough. I didn't want to talk any more about clothes or furniture or any other offensive thing. Unsure where I found the courage, I took the step separating us. Placing my hands on either side of his face, I rose on tip toe to kiss him. It only took a startled second for him to respond, snaking his arm around my waist, using the other to push down the sleeve of my chiton. I shrugged out of the sleeve where it was pinned together, going for his belt. The fire reignited in my belly, a phoenix rising out of the ashes just like in the Egyptian tales.
Tonight was slightly different than the last. I was still angry with him and that irritation came through in my actions. Bringing his face away from my throat which he had been in the middle of kissing, I recaptured his mouth, pressing hard against him. I caught his bottom lip between my teeth, making him gasp and lean me back against the wall.
I cringed away from the cold, pushing myself into him. His himation was in a puddle around his feet, his belt untied. Hurriedly, Hades unclasped the brooch holding the remaining sleeve of my chiton together, letting the fabric fall away. Those gray eyes took me in, glittering like mica in the lamplight. His hands skimmed up my sides, brushing over my chest like I was a fragile thing. My heart pounded an uneven rhythm and I was quickly loosing my ability to think. Returning to my waist his hands dipped underneath the remaining fabric of my chiton, pushing it down past my hips and onto the floor.
I stood there bare as a newborn babe, fighting self conciousness. Our breathing ragged, he bent to kiss me again, holding his body to mine. Unable to stop myself, I melted against him, blindly trying to unfasten the clasps of his tunic. Quickly giving up, I slid my hands up under the fabric, pushing it up his body to his stomach where he assisted me by yanking it over his head.
Then I'm in his arms again, heat coursing through me and into him. The bed is mere feet away from us, yet we barely make it there. The two of us are twined so close together it's hard to tell what skin is mine and what is his. His hands ran up and down my body, followed by his mouth, his lips, his tongue. I touched him back, telling myself that I shouldn't be feeling like this. That I should be dreading this return of sensation. As much as I told myself though, I couldn't hold back the sound I made when it all came to an end. Nor could he.
"Ahh, Persephone!" he growled into my skin. I could feel the reverberations of his voice in my bones as I lay with my eyes closed, holding him to me. My ears were ringing.
And that was the end of it. Hades mumbled goodnight before he fell asleep, not waiting for the answer I wasn't going to give. Just as I had early that morning I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. As my breathing evened out and my skin cooled, clarity returned to my mind, and despite the man beside me I felt completely alone.
Authors Note: Wow it's only been three days and I'm already updating? That has to be a new record for me! I really wish I could tell you to get used to it but I can't. This was just a really easy chapter to write while the last two just took a lot out of me. But enough about me, I just want to thank you all for sticking with this story and writing your reviews! I hope the make-out sessions in the last couple chapters didn't make you cringe to badly, they are the first ones I've ever done and I was trying to keep within the confines of the letter T. -Emaline
