Arnold set a mug down in front of Helga and walked slowly to the opposite end of the kitchen table. Her eyes stayed fixated on the mug and the rising steam that disappeared a few inches above. The entire cab ride home was silent, the tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. Married?! He cleared his throat.
"I know, okay? I'm trying to find the best place to start my story," she said.
"You could try the beginning," he shrugged. "Always works for me."
"Smart ass," she smirked. "Okay. When I left Hillwood, I was angry. My dad sent me first to Exeter Academy in New Hampshire, but I got kicked out for hitting my roommate because she snored so fucking loudly. Then I got sent to St. Paul's School when I was eleven, where I was also kicked out for sewing a bag of dog crap into my English teacher's mattress… it took her weeks to find where the smell was coming from," she smiled at the memory.
"Helga!"
"What? Oh, she deserved it. She would hit our hands with a ruler every time we used the word 'um' during a presentation. Anyway, my dad sent me to California to the Thacher School when I was fourteen… and I hated it," she made a face.
"Sounds like you hated everything."
"Yeah, well, remember what I was like at 9? It was so much worse going through puberty! But my mom flew down to California to get me settled and she said 'I know it's hard, but your dad and I really need this time alone to fix everything that's broken. If you could find one thing, just one, that you enjoy here—focus on that & everything else will fall into place." Helga swirled the teabag around in her mug thoughtfully. "I felt really selfish then because I had only seen boarding schools as a punishment… but my parents really needed this."
"So… Adam?"
"Right… Adam. The thing I found that I enjoyed in California was actually a horse. Every spare minute I had, I was down at the stable brushing her, feeding her, talking to her… but I didn't ride her. There was always a boy in the stables when I was there, cleaning out the stalls or riding the horses. He would always try to talk to me and none of my mean tricks kept him away… it was annoying, really. I just wanted him to go away so I could talk to my horse!" She paused to take a sip of her tea.
"Was it him?"
Helga nodded. "It was a bad day, I can't even remember why anymore. I know it was raining because I was soaked by the time I got to the stables. And there he was… brushing MY horse. I was livid. I shouted at him and cursed at him, hurling insult after insult. He rushed towards me and kissed me, and I tried to fight it but I just melted. He taught me how to ride a horse, we spent holidays together checked into lousy motels, we saw movies and free concerts… we'd sneak out to the stables at midnight. I was…"
"I get it, Helga," Arnold interrupted. "You were in love with him."
"Yeah, Arnold. I was."
"When senior year rolled around, my parents' finances came to a grinding halt. I didn't qualify for financial aid at school based on their taxes from the previous year and my parents couldn't afford to keep me at Thacher. Adam had just turned 18 and gained control of his trust fund and offered to pay for my tuition… if we got married. My dad thought I had hit the motherlode, and gave his consent for me to marry at 17. So we did it… we got married in a courthouse in Ojai, California. We moved out of the dorms and into a beautiful house. He bought me a car and also my horse from the school so I could have her all to myself… for a few months it was perfect."
"Months?"
"It started out with simple rules he disguised as concerns for my well-being. I couldn't drive at night because we lived at the end of a winding road that could be dangerous. I couldn't have friends over because he wanted to spend time alone with just me. Then it got a little more controlling… he would calculate the mileage in my car every time I drove it to make sure I wasn't going anywhere he didn't know of. He blocked numbers on my phone without my knowledge so I lost contact with people. Then, it got scary. He decided one day that I needed to quit my job but when I refused, he smashed every window of my car while I was in it. When he saw me talking to a guy friend on campus, I came home to him polishing a gun I had never even seen before. He took me out back, to the stables… and he killed my horse right in front of me." Tears began to cascade down her cheeks by the dozens.
Arnold immediately pushed his chair back and knelt in front of her, resting his hands on her thighs. "You don't have to finish, Helga," he said.
She nodded fiercely and replied, "I can't stop now." She continued after a few deep breaths. "A neighbor heard the gunshots and called the cops. They found him aiming the gun at the back of my head while I cried over my horse. I filed charges against him as well as an annulment of the marriage all in the same day," she sniffled. "He spent a few years in jail but when he got out, he went right back to terrorizing me."
"How?"
"Big Bob is broke, Arnold. He's been trying to sell his emporium for years, but he hasn't been able to. Adam put in an offer to buy from my dad… but only if I marry him again."
"The merger," Arnold recalled the message Adam had left for Helga last week.
She nodded. "I can't marry him again. He'll kill me this time."
Arnold stared up at his ceiling, going through the night's events. After Helga finished her story, they both agreed that they both had a lot to think about separately. They had said goodnight in front of Arnold's door and he watched as she climbed the attic stairs to her room. I wonder what she's doing right now…
He rolled over onto his stomach and reached for the TV remote on his bedside table. He sat up and flipped through the channels trying to find something to take his mind off of Helga G. Pataki. When nothing appealed to him, Arnold threw himself back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling once again. She's right up there, you know…
He grabbed a pillow, pushed it onto his face, and groaned loudly. Stop it, he scolded himself. You'll see her in the morning. He was on his feet at once, tugging the long sleeve black shirt over his head. As the fabric caressed his face, he smelled mangoes. He licked his lips, remembering the feel of her breath on his face and the taste of her kiss. His body ached, longing to feel her skin instead of the phantom of a memory.
Arnold shook his head to clear his thoughts of Helga and pulled on a white shirt and gray sweatpants before climbing back into bed. When he closed his eyes, he saw her in front of him on the dance floor. He felt her arms around his waist and heard her whisper again, "Do it." It had seemed a good idea earlier to part ways, but now he was wondering what the hell he was thinking. She probably is sound asleep not even thinking about you, you big idiot.
"Fuck this," he said aloud, rolling out of bed. Before he could control himself, Arnold found himself in the hall then taking the attic stairs two steps at a time. He reached forward to knock on the closed but fell forward as it began to open.
"Arnold!" Helga gasped. "What are you doing?"
"I, uh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Our conversation earlier was pretty heavy," he lied.
"Oh… I'm okay. It felt good to get some of that stuff off my chest," she said as she leaned her tilted head on the door. "Was that all?"
"Yeah. I mean that's—wait a second. Where were you going just now?"
"Come again?"
"You opened the door before I could knock… so where were you going?" he smiled in satisfaction upon seeing her squirm.
"I was hungry," she said quickly.
They looked at each other for a second and blurted out in unison, "Are you lying?!" They laughed a little before Helga stepped back into her room and opened the door wider for Arnold to enter.
"So… what do you feel like doing?" she asked as she closed the door behind him.
"I just… wanted to talk to you a little bit more."
Helga's grin brightened the room and she excitedly asked if they could do talk on the roof. Arnold nodded and grabbed the blanket off her bed. When the blanket had been laid out and they sat comfortably under the stars, Helga leaned over. "Can I hear part two of your San Lorenzo adventure?"
"We'll be out here for hours!" Arnold laughed.
"I'm good with that," she replied.
So am I, he thought. So am I.
