The Boy Who Loved Tweek Tweak
XI. Lemonade Stand Part III: Choking on Embers

When I sit up in my bed the next morning, I groan and fall back into my mattress. Fuck, I don't feel good. I nearly doze back asleep when I hear someone open my bedroom door. Forcing myself back up to look at the person who entered my room I feel a shoulder push me down. Prying open my eyes I look up at my mom who looks back down at me with concern.

"Are you feelin' any better Kenny?" She asks.

When I attempt to answer I cough loud and long, so hard that when I'm done I'm exhausted.

"Your cough sounds better," she says to me as she leans over me to touch my cheeks and forehead. "And your fever isn't gettin' any worse. I'm gonna have you take yer medicine okay, please don't fight me on it this time."

Before she can stick some odd colored pills down my throat I block her with a moan.

"Kenny, what'd I just say?" She asks me gently, letting her arm rest on my bed.

"Wait…" I croak out and gather some energy before going on. "Medicine? Doct-" I'm interrupted by a few coughs before I can continue. "I don't remember… what's going on with me?"

She looks a little worried before answering, "yer sick. You don't remember? You woke up last week with a really bad fever, sweatin and everything. I took you to the hospital. You haven't been to school in a week."

"A week?" I spit out in surprise.

My mom nods, "now take your pills please."

I allow her to help my take the three pills with water that's she's brought with her. She runs a hand through my hair, brushing the hair that's in my face aside, something I'm grateful for. It's starting to piss me off, I should cut it…

When she leaves I fall back into a sick sleep and am woken up again by voices outside my window. I turn my head slowly and see the fire red hair of Kyle outside the glass panes. I can sorta hear the conversation he's obviously having with Stan. I try to call them in, but nothing gets out, I'm just too tired. Instead I listen to their conversation.

"We shouldn't be doing this Stan! If Kenny's mom catches us, or worse his dad…"

Stan cuts him off, "well what are we supposed to Kyle? They wont let us see him, what if he's really, really sick?"

"What if he's asleep!"

On cue my body erupts in a coughing fit, as if to alert them I'm awake. At once I see both their heads shoot up and look through the window making eye contact with me.

"Kenny!" They both exclaim and work together to force open my window, not that it's hard. It is a piece of shit after all. It takes them awhile to get through the window though, since it's higher off the ground than most people realize. They make a lot of noise getting in, banging the outside exterior of the house and seconds after they've gotten in they dive under my bed when they hear my mom knock on the door and walk in. She looks around.

"What're you doing in here, what was that banging?" She asks suspiciously.

I give her my most sick and pathetic look and I watch as her face softens. "My poor baby- is yer window open?" Her eyes avert to the window that Stan and Kyle didn't have the time to close.

"Did you open it Kenny? Yer not supposed to be gettin out of bed," she chastises me as she walks over and closes it.

"It was open when I woke up," I say quietly so I don't risk coughing. This fucking cough hurts like hell.

My mom frowns as she walks back over to the door, "it was probably those kids across the way. They were probably the one's bangin." She sighs and looks at me, "I gotta go to the store and get a few things. Yer dads still at work, will be for a long while, but Kevin's here." Which translates to I'm on my own.

I give her a small smile and she gives me one back before kissing me on the head and leaving. After a few moments of silence, and hearing her leave the house entirely, Kyle and Stan spill out from under my bed.

"What the fuck is under your bed!" Stan asks as he emerges. "I'm wet!"

I shrug at him amused and watch as he grumbles to himself, adjusting the bag that's thrown over his chest. Kyle is ignoring him and his eyes are on me.

"Are you feeling any better? What's wrong with you, your parents wouldn't let us see you all week so Stan had the idea of just sneaking in to see you."

I smile at the both of them. "I don't…," I stop to cough a few times, noticing that they're exchanging looks before I talk. "…know, or remember really. I just remember waking up today. I have this cough from hell, my throats sore, and my body feels like a sauna."

My stomach rumbles, "and I'm hungry and thirsty too." I say in the same quiet voice so I don't overuse it.

"I figured that much," Stan says as he rummages through his bag extracting a large burger, and a bottle of water handing them over to me.

"A burger!" Kyle protests as I start an unbelievable slow process of unwrapping the burger after muttering my thanks to Stan.

"What's wrong with that?" Stan asks Kyle.

"Yeah," I say into the burger as I take my first bite. I want to say its delicious… but I cant really taste it.

"He should be having things like soup and water, not greasy junk food."

"That's why I brought water instead of root beer." Stan says confused and Kyle just sighs in exasperation. "Oh and," Stan goes back to his bag and takes out a baggie filled with green apple slices. "Apple slices instead of French fries." He places them next to the water bottle. "My mom cut those," he adds in with a nod.

"The apple slices and water don't count out the triple deluxe burger with extra mayo and everything on it." Kyle tells Stan.

"Kenny won't eat any other burger, will you Kenny?"

I shake my head as I continue to eat hungrily.

"Fine, whatever." Kyle says in slight annoyance.

"Don't mind Kyle Kenny. He's just in a pissy mood because the guy he likes won't give him the time of day," Stan smirks, starting to laugh; laughter that is quickly extinguished when Kyle gives him a very hard icy glare.

Now curious, I want to ask questions on this guy but Kyle is sure to give me the same glare before I can even try. I quickly finish the burger, inhale the apple pieces and down the water. Having finished eating I feel much better and my cough becomes clearer.

"What's been happening at school?" I ask when I'm done. Kyle at once sits on the edge of my bed and Stan pulls a chair up to my side, they quickly get comfortable.

"Enough," Kyle begins, "but only a few know. Cartman's stalker struck again for one."

I try to sit up at the mention of that, but Stan pushes me back down gently shaking his head at me, as Kyle continues.

"He got a dozen red roses the other day. Six of them were dead, one was dying and the other five were still alive."

"And there was a note too," Stan pipes up. "That one said 'You shall be my seventh greatest sin.'"

"There were five additional names on that revenge list too," Kyle concludes.

I let out a long cough before replying, "cops?"

"Nope," Stan shakes his head. "No ones called them. I think half because no one wants to get added to the list, but the real reason is probably because every name on it is the biggest 12 assholes in school."

"So everyone's thinking it's like fate and that these guys are getting what they reaped to other people." Kyle says.

"I heard people think its some old disgruntled geek who got teased a lot." Stan puts.

"I've heard it's a ghost." Kyle states thoughtfully. Stan and I stare at him. "It's just something else I heard," he tells us when he notices the looks of disbelief from us. "The point is, whoever this dude is, he is pissed."

"I'll say," I tell them, clearing my throat. Suddenly my eyes widen.

"What is it?" Stan asks me.

"That fucking project," I gasp out.

Kyle nods, "yeah it was due yesterday, but don't worry about it, you're excused from it and Tweek finished it anyway."

"Oh." I respond.

"Speaking of which, he's the other thing that's been off since you've been sick." Stan mentions as he adjusts himself in the small chair. "Hasn't he Kyle?" Stan looks to Kyle who nods in agreement.

"Every day he's asked us where you were, and since we didn't know at first we told him the truth. That we didn't know and then when we did find out that you were sick we told him. I even think he tried to visit here once," Kyle looks to Stan for assurance.

"Yeah, your mom had mentioned some blonde twitcher had been by asking about you as well. She didn't let him see you either. He's freaking out over you," Stan says.

"How can you tell?" I ask them, taking another sip of my water realizing its empty.

"Because he's not twitching." Kyle answers me. "Which in turn is freaking everyone else out. I've never seen him like this, he just walks around like a zombie unless he sees Stan and I. Then he rushes over, starts tweaking again and asks about you. Everyone is really, I mean, dude, you haven't gotten this sick since you were nine and you died then, but no one asks more than he does. I guess he does love you."

"He didn't mean it," I have to stop for a minute as another coughing fit over comes me, one that gets deep down in my chest. When I'm done I feel shit again. "He took it back," I finish. "Could one of you grab me a cigarette? I should have some in my first dresser drawer."

"We're not giving you a cigarette when you're sick, in fact," Stan stands. "Thanks for reminding me to take them away from you." I groan. When he gets back to his seat, my cigs in his bag he looks at me curiously. "I thought you said he meant it though?"

I shrug and then pause before saying anything more. "Does he eat alone?"

"Who Tweek?" Stan questions and I nod. "Yeah, like always."

I pause again.

You can't really ask them what I think you want to ask.

I told him we were friends, friends don't let friends eat alone.

You were just being polite about the friends thing.

No I wasn't, I meant it.

"We can ask him to eat with us if you want," I look up at Kyle as he asks me this. There's something in those green eyes and I nod.

"Why are we being good Samaritans?" Stan asks, looking back and forth at Kyle and I. He knows something passed between us and he doesn't know what, not that I really know either.

"Because we don't want to get on that list. We're not saints that's for sure," Kyle says standing. "Come on Stan, we'd better get going. I think I heard the front door open."

Stan bolts up and starts to open the window "hurry up and get better Kenny okay?" He asks me, and I nod as I watch him jump out the window. Kyle lingers as I knew he would.

I talk before he gets the chance. "Kyle who is the guy?" I ask referring to the guy he's attempting to go after that's not taking the bait.

"Okay, I'll tell you, just promise not to tell Stan. I don't know if he could handle it yet."

"Promise."

Kyle sighs and rubs the back of his neck, looking up to avoid my eyes. "Butters."

"Butters?" I ask questioning, as it can't be the Butters I know.

"Yes Butters," Kyle rolls his eyes and looks down at me. "Also known as Leopold Stotch?"

My jaw drops, Kyle likes Butters! Fuck… if I haven't heard and seen it all yet I have now. He's looking at me apprehensively. I can see it took a lot out of him just to tell me.

I take a moment to absorb this information, "what's with us and blonde misfits?"

He laughs and I join him, which only ends in me coughing and gasping for air, causing Kyle to laugh more. "If it helps any," I start again. "Don't let the shy bullshit stop you; he's crazy in the sack."

"Dude! Kyle, hurry the hell up, she's definitely here!" Stan hisses at him through the window.

Kyle gives me the finger, but he's grinning. "Stan's right, hurry up and get better." He says before he hops through the window, closing it behind him. They both wave once before running off in the direction of the good part of South Park.

Dear Journal,

Kenny still isn't back in school yet. But when I asked Stan and Kyle about him today they said that they had seen him yesterday. Apparently he's just really sick, like cant get out of bed sick. Kyle was telling me all about it when Stan had to go off and take an early test. And then Kyle said if I wanted to check on him myself that I ought to just go and do it, but to go through his window and not bother asking his mom. He just stared at me for awhile and then… oh Jesus, I- then he asked me if I really didn't love Kenny anymore.

And then I just froze. How did he know! Journal, I should have thought of that. Kenny tells Kyle and Stan everything. They are his best friends. But it was so embarrassing, I couldn't answer that! I didn't want to lie a second time but I didn't want to admit the truth in the middle of the hallway. Anyone could have been listening.

After awhile though, Kyle smirked and said "that's what I thought," then he walked off. What did he mean by that! Does he know! I can't can't can't can't can't won't be able to handle this if he knows. But he probably does, Kyle is really smart, he must know.

I just… I will not think about that. Okay, I'm not anymore.

I'm thinking about visiting Kenny. Would that be too weird? Probably. But he said we were friends and he didn't look like he lied. I don't know what to do, I want to see how he's doing but I can't just go. Maybe, maybe if I ask Kyle, he'll go with me. Yes! I'll try asking Kyle or Stan… or, maybe I should just ask Kyle. I don't think Stan likes me that much, but Kyle seems to be okay with me now… for some reason.

Your friend, Tweek

It's been two more days and I feel considerably better, yet not better enough to go to school. Okay, hell, I'm milking this a bit. I could have gone to school today but a few extra days off couldn't hurt. Stan came by earlier to bring me more food. It was soup, when I gave him a look, he said Kyle made him.

Dear Journal,

Okay. Kyle wont go with me. He said I should go by myself. Why do I have to go by myself! I don't want to go by myself, I mean I do… but. Oh never mind.

I'll go after this entry. I don't think I ever told you but that day after Kyle and Stan had visited Kenny, Kyle invited me to have lunch with them again. Stan agreed with him too. It was weird, the way they were being so nice to me. I mean, I've always thought they were nice when they weren't around Cartman. Kyle more than Stan but I guess Stan has a reputation to keep being in football and all. But… Kyle's in basketball so… oh well. I guess it doesn't matter, the point is they invited me.

I was a little worried about Cartman, and Stan saw that. He told me Cartman, well he called Cartman a name but I wont repeat it, was going to be tutored at home for awhile. That's nice for me, I wont have to worry about anything for awhile.

So, the real reason for this entry. When I was walking home from school, Kyle caught up with me. He asked if I was going to go see Kenny today and I told him at the time that I wasn't, I changed my mind, anyway you're not going to believe what he said.

He told me that if I did go see him I was going to have to stop being wishy washy. I didn't get understand what he meant but then he cleared it up for me. He said, that as much as Kenny doesn't show it, that he's really fragile, and that he chose who he associated with carefully. He said that I shouldn't have taken back what I said to Kenny when I told him I loved him.

I wish I hadn't either.

Well… I guess I should get going before dinner. Mom and Dad aren't home so this is the only time I can go without them offering to drive me. If they drove me I couldn't very well sneak in through a window now could I?

Dang, its raining out now.

Your friend, Tweek

Just when I fall into a comfortable nap, there's a tapping on my window, which is weird. Kyle and Stan never tap, they've gotten in the habit of just barging in, like it's their own room. I sit up and look out. What the hell is Tweek doing here? After staring for awhile I wave him in and watch as he struggles with the window and then getting in.

He's soaked to the bone, I hadn't noticed that its raining outside.

"There's a clean towel in there," I point to the bottom drawer of my dresser.

Shivering and jumping around even more because he's cold he opens my drawer and pulls out the towel, wrapping himself inside it.

"Do you want a change of clothes?" I ask, but he shakes his head, so I stare at him waiting for him to explain why he has come by. When he doesn't I sigh. "Why'd you come by?" I ask him.

"Oh Jesus," I hear him mutter to himself. "Ju-just to see how you were, erg, um, to see how you were doing. Because you, you said we were," he starts to hyperventilate. "You said we were friends and friends check up on each other right? We're still friends right?" He suddenly asks, stopping his jittering slightly.

"We are," I tell him. "And I'm fine now. I can probably go back to school tomorrow." I say half heartedly. "What about you, you look like…" I restrain myself from saying shit when he looks like he's preparing himself to flinch. I'm starting to notice that, he flinches when I swear. "You don't look well," I mutter out.

"Er, yeah, there's…" he looks around and twists his fingers. It looks like he's about to break them off, but he does remind me of something.

"There's filter face masks and rubber gloves on that shelf," I point to the top of my desk shelf.

Tweek's eyes light up and he all but races over and opens the boxes pulling on the gloves and the face mask over his mouth and nose. He looks like a complete dumb ass, but I have to repress laughter anyway. Kyle had said something to me before that Tweek may be coming over so I had asked him if he could bring me some boxes of stuff that would enable Tweek to calm the fuck down, with the germ problem he has and all.

"Thanks!" He says happily and walks back over to the end of my bed.

"Whatever," I respond. "Why are you here again? To see how I am, that's right. Anything else?"

Tweek looks around nervously, "I- I guess not. But I brought you, ergh, umm," he stops trying to talk and pulls out a thermos and hands it to me.

"What is it?" I ask taking it and opening the cap; sniffing the contents before taking a sip.

"Its lemonade… you never had any, and, you, you said that you would so I… brought some over…" he trails off, having whispered the last part so I could barely hear him.

He brought over…lemonade. Is that it?

"It's good Tweek," I say when I realize he's staring at me intensely, having been waiting for my response.

"It is?" He squeaks out, as if he doesn't believe me, and I nod to reassure him, and then I finish it off, handing it back to him when I'm done.

I watch him screw the cap back on and as he does, I remember something, "Tweek?"

He jumps at the sound of my voice but I ignore his immediate response and follow through with my question. "Have your wrists healed yet, from when Sparky cut you?" I've just now realized that he's been wearing long sleeved shirts since he got whispered about it so much.

"Um," he sets the thermos down and pulls up his sleeves for me to see. I sit up slightly and look; the cuts have mostly healed but its looking like he'll end up with some harsh scarring.

"Didn't you ever put any of that healing ointment on the scratches so you don't scar?" I ask him and he shakes his head. I sigh and lean over the side of my bed. "You should have." I say, realizing he may not be able to hear me with my head under the bed. "It can reduce the permanent scarring. Lucky for you your cuts aren't completely healed. If they were," when I come back up I'm holding a small tube of ointment. "You'd be fucked." I watch as he winches.

"Sorry." I tell him. "Come here," I command, patting a hand on my bed. He looks a little unsure but he sits at the side of my bed. I grab a hold of his wrist and study the cuts, holding tight as he wiggles about. Setting the ointment down, I reach over to my side table and pull out a few swabs.

Opening the ointment, squeezing some of it out I place a bit on the swab and am about to put it on his wrist when he jerks his hand away. I look at him.

"Are you sure, you, um, ergh, do you know what you're doing?" He asks me.

"Of course I do, I get cuts and bruises all the time."

"From what?" he asks curiously and I ignore him, grabbing a hold of his wrist again.

"Just trust me alright?" I ask exasperatedly.

He says nothing and as I get closer to the scratches he tenses and I look back up at his slightly frightened face and I feel the annoyance I felt for him earlier leave. "It's not going to hurt okay, I promise." He meets my eyes and nods, my own go back to his wrist. I slowly put on the ointment when I hear him wince I glance at him, but he shakes his head.

When I'm done I toss the swab in a garbage can and hand the ointment to Tweek. "Three times a day." I tell him and he nods. When I nod back I feel a wave of nausea pass through my head and I try to shake it off but it remains for a little while before ceasing. I close my eyes and rest my head against my pillow swallowing some gulps of air. I have a feeling that my sickness isn't through with me afterall. I hate when that happens.

When I feel Tweek shift on my bed I reopen my eyes to see that he's looking closer at me.

"Are you okay?" He asks and I nod.

"Some nausea is all." I turn my head to the side. "You should go, my mom should be checking on me soon and no one is supposed to be visiting me."

Tweek nods and stands back up, looking around as if he's lost something. "What're you looking for?" I ask him.

"N-nothing, its just… if, if you're not f-feeling, ergh, um, can I visit you again if you're not back in…uhn, in school tomorrow?" He manages out.

I loll my head back to his face. He's biting his lip and twisting his hair again. Averting my eyes for a moment I think about something I've really been meaning to ask him before looking back. "Why do you want to be my friend Tweek?"

"W-what?" He squeaks out.

"Why do you want to be my friend?" I ask again. "I've been wondering that since you've asked me. I mean, why me, there are tons of better options I'd choose for you to become friends with. I'm not exactly a model anything, I have a shitty home life. I swear tons, something you clearly don't like me doing and I'm the sort of guy people cross the street when they see. So, yeah I want to know why you want in, in my small circle of friends so badly; especially given the fact that I've teased you since we were little kids."

Tweek doesn't blink for a long time and when he finally does he looks down at my floor, wringing his hands together. "Be-because… well- because you're, you're so calm and that's something I could never be. And you do things at your own pace, and, and you have two really good friends. I wish I had friends like Kyle and Stan. And even if you did tease me it isn't how like Cartman ever did. And you were the only one to ask me about my cuts without assuming that I cut."

I notice his voice gets stronger and firmer as he talks on, a trait I haven't seen in him before.

"And you, you were my partner with the project and you didn't say anything mean about it. You never gave me dirty looks like a lot of others did, you bought me that lunch the one time and saved me from Cartman and you invited me to lunch too. And you helped me clean up when I had all that food all over me, even getting my PE clothes when my lockers a bad combination and I know how you hate the number 13 and it was a Friday that day too. I really didn't think you'd even come back. I know you're not the most patient person with me when I stutter and mess up, but you don't walk away from me either… not really anyway and I just, I just-" He stops for a moment. "I just want to be like you." He finishes.

I reflect for a moment. It's a lot of pointless little reasons and I'm dumbfounded that he said it all, and so quickly. I never realized that me doing all those small things added up to a liking toward me. Even being rendered speechless for a moment, I did catch the last thing he said.

"You're the kid who wrote that in the bathroom stall aren't you?" I realize and he nods.

"A-and K-Kenny?"

I wait for him to continue.

"I don't- I didn't mean to say that I didn't… I still…" he stops and sighs dejectedly.

"Like me, like me?" I ask him, for him, and he nods, looking ashamed for some reason.

Do you feel better knowing he still feels that way about you?

Yeah… I do.

"You know," I start and he looks up. "Even if I'm not sick tomorrow, you can still come over… if you want."

"I can?"

"Yeah."

He smiles at me, "okay."

"You really should go," I point out when he continues to just smile and stare at me after a time.

His eyes widen, "oh yeah. I think I've been here too long too. My mom and dad are probably wondering where I am. Okay, well… ummm," he starts to stutter again.

"Bye?" I ask amused.

"Ye-yeah. Bye Kenny," he says and starts to climb out of my window only he stops when he remembers to grab the thermos, and then he leaves after several more goodbyes.

Dear Journal,

Kenny now knows how I feel about him again. He said it really, but I didn't deny it. I was a little nervous about what he would say about it but he didn't really. He did ask me why I wanted to be his friend which caught me off guard, and I rambled some answer that I don't really remember.

He looked better when I saw him and he said that he'd probably be back in school tomorrow and that even if he wasn't he said I could visit him. Sick or not too! So I think its okay to love him and just be his friend. At least I can still hang around him, and he didn't seem disgusted or anything that I felt this way about him. I'm really thankful for that, if he did, and if he really didn't like me at all I wouldn't feel that great. I don't think I'd even want to go to school much.

I should go shower. When I went over to visit him he had gloves and a mask for me! I really didn't expect that, it was really considerate of him. Even so, germs were floating everywhere and I did get really close to him. I don't mind the germs as much because they're Kenny's germs, but he's sick right now so I should still shower. Part of me hopes he isn't in school tomorrow just so I can go visit him again while he's sick and bring him more lemonade, which he loved! But I think I'd rather see him healthy at school. Also that way I won't have to wear the mask and gloves. I'm glad they were there but I don't like having to wear them. They're really tight and could cut off my circulation, which could kill me if I wasn't careful.

Anyway, shower time!

Your friend, Tweek

The next day when I wake up my symptoms have returned though not as severe, so I don't go to school. When I hear the sound of someone opening my window I expect to see Stan and Kyle or even Tweek. I'm not expecting or wanting to see Craig. I cough and frown as he makes his way into my bedroom.

"So you really are sick," he says looking around, his eyes landing back on me. "Shame. I really wanted a fuck from you."

"Sweet of you," I croak out. "About that-" I pause to cough hard a few times. The coughing sends my head spinning and I grab the water glass that's on my side table, inhaling a bit before talking more. "I think we should call it quits. It was fun and all but you're sort of a bastard Craig."

I watch his grin fall. "What?"

I nod, not really understanding what he doesn't understand about it. I've thought about it a little during this sick episode and Craig has to go. He's been the worst one. Sure Butters was crazy and wild, Clyde a little dominant at times when he got the courage and even Token demanded taking charge, but none of them have been as vicious as Craig. I remember our first time, I could barely walk for that entire week, it hurt like hell. And there's the fact that I don't even like him.

"Are you joking?" He asks me slowly.

"No."

I imagine a few different reactions from Craig. I imagine him to maybe flip me off, tell me I wasn't that great anyway. Maybe for him to even agree, I don't imagine a disappointed even hurt look.

"But I-" He stops to take a minute to think. "What about how I feel?"

"What do you mean?" I ask after a few coughs.

"The only reason I ever come to you is you're the only one I feel that thing for."

"What thing?"

"That thing. You know, the tingly thing people sometimes feel for each other. I figured that was the only reason you kept coming back for me too."

I'm confused. I think I know what he means but it couldn't possibly be what I'm thinking. "I thought we were just fuck buddies." I tell him, and even that's technically wrong since we're most definitely not buddies.

"Fuck buddies?" He scrunches his eyebrows together. "Well, yeah that's what we mostly do but we talk and stuff."

We do?

I guess there were those few times… but I was thinking about other things when he was talking.

A look of realization comes over Craig's face as mine stays confused and lost. "Oh. It's only one sided isn't it?" I nod slowly. "I'm not the only one you fuck, am I?" He asks.

I shake my head, "am I the only one you-" I'm cut off when he nods. "Oh." I state and cough. "I figured there were others, given the way you talk sometimes."

"That was supposed to make you jealous."

"Oh. Why not just say something?" I ask him

"I was going to, ugh, what a fucking mess. I think I'm going to leave," he turns back to start heading out of my window.

"Are you, er, going to be okay?" I call and cough after him. He pokes his head back through my window and looks at me for a second.

"Yeah, we wouldn't have worked anyway. I always felt like I was breaking you every time we did it."

"You were."

Craig laughs but for once it doesn't make me cringe in disgust. "Later Kenny, get better too, you sound like shit." He isn't gone for even five minutes when another person climbs their way through my window. Tweek.

"Hi," he says and I say it back, watching him get settled sitting at the end of my bed. "Was um, was that Craig? I di-didn't know you guys talked… much."

My ears perk, "that's just the thing Tweek, we don't." Before I know it I've told Tweek everything Craig and I just talked about, without bothering to sugar coat it for his ears. By the time I'm done I'm stuck in a laughing, coughing, wheezing fit. To relay it all to a third person makes it sound surreal. I don't mean to sound aloof about it, but who knew Craig could feel, and for me of all people. I always thought he'd fair better with… anyone else.

As I glance at Tweek's reaction I notice him sigh in relief. "What was that for?" I ask him, reaching over to grab my water.

"N-nothing," he says as he looks off and twitches a few times. I eye him as he avoids my look.

"He wasn't ever competition for you. It's odd seeing you jealous." I tell him and he turns back to face me, his face flushed. I cant help it, I laugh at his embarrassed face. When he smiles back at me in return my laughter starts to fade. I've only just recognized that Tweek has a nice smile, a really nice one. I don't know why I never noticed before.

"That night at the school dance," I start, changing the subject slightly. "You saw us didn't you? Outside by the dumpsters, you saw Craig and me?"

When Tweek nods I decide to leave it at that. We chat for a little bit more, well I talk and heave while he stutters and squirms, it seems to work for us. Throughout that week Tweek comes everyday. I'm surprised at how easily conversation comes for the two of us. Kyle and Stan come by a few times; giving me Kyle approved food and updates on the stalker situation at school. Barbrady along with our incompetent detectives have finally been brought in on the list. They don't have any suspects and Cartman's under close surveillance, as well as all the others on the revenge list.

"Maybe," Kyle starts one afternoon that they're visiting me. "You should let the police know you put Cartman on the list Kenny."

I haven't looked at Stan but I know we're both looking at him with disbelief. "Kyle if he does that he'll be blamed for the whole thing." Stan says.

"No he won't, he's been sick for two weeks and the incidents keep happening. It clearly isn't Kenny."

"I'm not saying anything Kyle," I say sitting up, for the first time in days my health feels back to normal. "Even if I don't get into any sort of trouble Cartman'll massacre me."

"You did send some crazed dude after him."

"Are you defending Cartman?" I ask in pure awe.

Kyle folds his arms in annoyance, "I'm just saying he'd have a right to be pissed off at you."

I look at Stan who was also staring at Kyle as if he hadn't ever seen him before. "He's been like this ever since getting the hots for his mystery guy. He's like a changed person." Stan says to me and Kyle stands angry.

"It's got nothing to do with him okay! Fuck, you guys!" Kyle, I'm sure if he could have, would have stormed out of my bedroom, but since he couldn't leave through the doorway he hopped out through the window; pushing his hands firmly in his jacket swearing to himself as he walked off in the distance.

"It has everything to do with him." Stan and I both say.

"You know I don't even know who it is either. He won't tell me, as if I'll judge him. I mean I think I've been acting pretty well for a guy who just discovered his other best friend is gay. I haven't said anything condescending and I've been completely supportive but he just refuses to let me in on who he has this thing for." Stan tells me, sounding frustrated. "I tell him everything, we tell each other everything, we always have."

"Yeah but this is probably a little different." It's definitely not the time to tell Stan, Kyle confided in me.

"I know it is…" Stan sighs and lays down next to me, taking up more space than I would have liked. "Where's your mom?"

"Out, doing something. I don't know, she said she wouldn't be back for hours."

"And… your dad?"

"Don't know that either. I haven't seen him since the day I woke up sick."

"You should get sick more often it sounds."

"That's what I was thinking too."

"Ugh," Stan rolls over on his side. "Do you mind if I crash here for awhile then? Shelly's home for a few days. The less time I'm in the house, the better."

Sometimes I forget Stan has a sister. "Sure." I tell him and he mutters a thanks.

"Tweeks getting more comfortable around Kyle and I," Stan continues.

"That so?" I ask nonchalantly as I pull out a textbook and a few blank sheets of lined paper. Naturally when Stan and Kyle bring me food, Kyle's kind enough to bring me my homework assignments and explain a few things for me. Bastard. Being sick is supposed to come with a few rare perks, no homework is included in those perks. He didn't seem to understand that as Stan and I tried to explain it to him last week.

"Yeah, he still shakes as fuck, but I'm getting used to it. It was weird the other day too, because when Kyle and I were going to see that new movie Lockdown, I had the urge to ask Tweek if he wanted to go along without realizing it, like it was natural."

I pause in turning a page in my textbook, "did you invite him?"

"I caught myself before I did."

I frown at the wording in my pages. "Would it have been so bad if you had?"

"I already sit with him at lunch, I shouldn't feel obligated to invite him to outside social events."

My frown deepens, "he's not a bad guy Stan, once you get past the twitching."

Stan rears his head around to look at me, "I don't believe it." He mutters.

"What?"

"You like him."

"Yeah, so what? I can't be friends with people beside you and Kyle all of a sudden?"

"Kenny you know goddamn well that, that is not what I meant." Stan turns his entire body to face me and I keep my head down at my book, jotting down a few notes just to distract myself from his eyes.

You know exactly what he meant, and you're not denying it.

"I don't like him like that." I say. There, I denied it.

Stan sits himself up on his elbows, keeping his eyes on me the whole time as he readjusts himself. "No, you do. I thought you were just trying to get points for being a nice guy so you don't end up on that list. But… this is explains why you wanted him to sit with us at lunch and why you distracted Cartman from teasing him by putting Butters back in his line of fire." A look of realization is coming over Stan's face.

"Craig even told me you two stopped doing… well, you know. And I know Tweek comes here everyday, he's mentioned it, he seemed so ecstatic that all I could think was poor you having to deal with Tweek every single day, but you like it when he comes over. You actually have a thing for Tweek Tweak."

Stan jumps when I slam my textbook shut and glare at him.

"Stan you're pissing me off. I do not have a thing or anything for Tweek. I would never lower myself even further than I already am. How could anyone ever have a thing for someone who twitches so much and stutters in such an annoying manner? It'd drive a guy insane. Tweek is the last person I'd ever consider being with. He's slow witted, he's scared of germs for fucks sake, he cries over the stupidest shit, he has no friends, no social skills. I hate his stutter, his voice, the way he fucking squirms over everything, the way he twists his hair, the way he dresses considering his parents have plenty of money and I hate that he always hangs around me now, and most of all I hate that fucking lemonade he always brings me."

Stan looks at me slightly appalled as I catch my breath and when I do I swear. Stan turns and swears softly under his breath. Of course, like these things are Tweeks standing outside my window that's partly cracked open. He looks lost and he glances around slightly before I watch a few tears stream down his cheeks.

"Tweek," I start softly but he interrupts.

"Sorry, I won't bother you anymore." He says and drops something that was in his hand on the ground before running away.

I can hear the sound of silence and my eyes stay down as I hear Stan stand and walk over to my window. When I feel him sit back down on my bed he's holding a thermos.

"What's in it?" I ask quietly, still looking down.

I hear Stan screw open the top, "lemonade."

I nod to myself.

"There's a note too." He tells me, and I look up and brush my hair out of my face.

"What's it say?"

"You don't want to open it yourself?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Alright," he says and I watch as he opens the small note. Looking through the slight transparent paper I can see Tweeks handwriting. When Stan makes a small noise I don't understand, I stare hard at him.

"What's it say?" I ask him.

He starts to hand it to me, "I really think you should read it yourself Kenny."

"What does it say?" I ask him again firmly and loudly, pushing the note back toward him. I don't know why I want him to read it out loud rather than read it myself, but that's what I want and after a long sigh and a pause from him, he reads it to me.

"I love you Kenny, and I hope one day you can love me too."

My head drops in one of my hands, and I try not to wish myself dead.

Dear Journal,

Sorry if I get any tears on you, but, today was going to be a really good day. It started out good too. I did good in all my classes, I was getting along with Stan and Kyle again at lunch and I had planned out a way how to tell Kenny again, how I really felt without actually telling him. I wrote a note instead and I was going to give it to him.

But when I walked to his house I saw that Stan was inside and I didn't want to give him the note when Stan was there, that would have been too embarrassing, so I waited awhile hoping he would leave. Well, it was cold outside and it looked like Stan wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon, so I gathered up all my courage, which you know isn't a lot, and I was going to knock on the window and just give him the note. I had also made him more lemonade since he liked it so much…

But it turns out he doesn't really like it. In fact, he doesn't even really like me either. I heard him say that when he was talking to Stan. He said a lot more too. He doesn't like anything about me and he hates that I always hang around him. But I don't get it Journal. He said we were friends, if he didn't want to be friends then why would he say we were? Why did he have to lie? You know, people had started to notice that I would go over to Kenny's house a lot and some people told me not to do that because he wasn't any good but I just figured they didn't know Kenny like I did.

But I guess I don't know him either, do I?

I don't feel very good; I think I'm going to take a nap.

Tweek

I open the front door of my house the next morning and see Stan and Kyle there.

"Let me grab my bag," I tell them and they both nod. I turn to head back to my room and when I get in I stop when I see the thermos and note still on my desk. I haven't drank the lemonade.

I grab my stuff and close the door, heading back out to the living room, yelling a bye to my mom before leaving to school.

The three of us head into Stan's car, I sit in the back and lean against the door looking out the window. Stan told Kyle what happened, and instead of a lecture from him, he just looked at me for a moment before patting my chest and giving me a half hug. I have no idea what that meant, but I'll take that over being yelled at by him.

I start to feel knots form in my stomach when we get closer to the school.

"Did you call him?" Kyle asks from the front seat.

"Yeah. The first few times no one answered, then his mom did and tried to get him on the phone but she said he didn't want to. She's worried about him. I guess he didn't tell her what happened." I say in a deadpanned voice.

Stan pulls into the parking lot of the school and we all get out. I look at the school; it looks bigger than it did before. Right away a few people yell hellos in my direction and a few people stop to ask how I am.

I didn't know I'd be missed so much.

My first class of the day I share with Tweek. The majority of my classes are with Tweek. I look to Kyle who I also have first period with, he gives me a tight smile. He has a student council meeting first thing and wont be in class.

When the warning bell sounds we make our way into the school, like we normally do. Chatting with a few people, myself more than usual since I had been gone for so long, and plenty of people tell me about the stalker thing even though I already know all about it. Some are laughing about it, others look genuinely worried. Mostly those are people who could be potentially added to the list. I make my way through the hoards of people, eventually parting ways from both Kyle and Stan heading to first period. I step into the door just as the bell rings. The teacher looks up at me with a smile.

"Good to see you back in class Kenny."

I nod and glance around at the classroom, at once spotting the two empty seats that are beside each other. Mine and Kyle's, I dare to look over at Tweek's seat. He's looking down and he's completely still. It's eerie. I head to my seat, placing my bag on the ground.

"Creepy huh?" I look over at Token who was the one to talk. I had to do a double take. Token hasn't talked to me in two years since I got him drunk, so I don't say anything, assuming he must be talking out loud and yet he keeps talking. "He's been like this for two and a half weeks now. No one knows what's wrong with him, but who knew a day would come when people would start to miss the old Tweek. He's just not himself."

Token goes back to facing the front of the classroom when our teacher starts to go over the day's assignment. I watch Tweek for a little while longer, as long as I can before I have to face the front with the rest of my peers. Once I do I immediately feel his eyes on my back.

The time goes by slowly and I don't hear a thing the teacher is saying, fuck I wish Kyle was here, so someone could be paying attention. All I can think of is Tweek. I don't feel like his eyes have ever wandered from my back. Who would stare that long! He's making me nervous as fuck, obviously I have to talk to him. But how should I approach this, I really hurt him.

Ever thought of not approaching it?

Not approach it?

Yeah okay, you're friends with Tweek. That's been established, but he should have known what he was getting himself into by befriending you.

If anything I've always been loyal to my friends, they're all I have.

I told you not to get involved with him, now look at the mess you created.

Me! You're in this too! We're one in the same!

And now you've screwed us. Want my opinion? You go on like nothing ever happened. You pissed him off, oh well. This is what you get for not evening out your days like you used to.

I cant go on like I didn't do anything.

Then suffer.

I cross my arms and look up when I hear my voice being called by the teacher. "What was that?" I ask.

"I said do you have the answer to the question on the board?"

I glance at the question. I have no idea.

"It's the 18th century," Tweek says in a quiet un-Tweek like voice.

"Very good Tweek," our teacher says and continues with the lecture.

I look behind me at Tweek, he meets my eye finally. I feel like I should try to relay something, some sort of apology, anything. Instead I can feel my eyebrows raise and I feel my head turn back to the front of the class. I'm the one in the wrong, and yet I'm the one that dismissed him.

As I begin to chastise and curse myself for being such an asshole I feel someone sit down in Kyle's seat. I nearly jump a mile when I find the new calm blonde sitting beside me.

"What are you doing?" I ask icily. Shit, that wasn't supposed to come out sounding so mean.

"We're supposed to get with our partners," Tweek says.

"Partners?" I ask confused looking around as everyone else has divided into groups of two. "For what?"

"To finish answering the questions on the board." He replies as he pulls out a few pieces of notebook paper from his backpack. Placing the paper on the desk he looks up at the questions and studies them, while I study him in astonishment.

How can he just sit here like this? I'm being driven insane and he should be pissed at me, or sad, whatever strikes him. He's not supposed to be calm; he's supposed to be tweeking. Not acting like nothing has ever happened, like I never said anything.

"Tweek," I start but he cuts me off with the tightest smile I have ever seen.

"Oh, do you know the answer for question two?"

I can't speak, what the fuck is he doing? I do manage to shake my head and not just stare like an open mouthed twit. We go through the questions, and turn them in when the bell rings. Tweek gets slightly ahead of me out of the door and just as I'm about to reach out and grab his shoulder I stop, and instead let him go.

"Well?" Both Stan and Kyle ask me come lunch time.

"Well, what?" I ask, deciding what I want to eat from the selection in the lunch line.

"What happened with Tweek, have you talked to him?" Kyle asks me, grabbing his tray and making his way to our table, with both me and Stan beside him.

I pause, "no, and I don't think he wants to right now."

"What makes you think that?" Stan asks, setting down his tray on our table. He looks up as we all see Tweek enter the room. Tweek eyes the three of us and we eye him back. Rather than sit with us, he chooses a seat on the other side of the cafeteria. It's where he used to sit alone, but instead of sitting alone I watch puzzled as Butters, Clyde, Token and even Craig join him. His old friends.

"That's weird," Stan points out, chewing with his mouth open.

"Damn it Stan would you chew with your mouth closed?" Kyle asks exasperatedly.

"Since when are they all friends again?" I ask, ignoring Kyle's comment toward Stan.

"Guess you haven't noticed then," Kyle responds as he starts to peel an orange. "Most everyone's been nice to Tweek since he's stopped tweeking. People like him more now that he's acting normal."

But normal is weird for him. I don't say it out loud, but its what I think. While half paying attention to Stan and Kyle as the conversation drifts to something else, I'm half paying attention to watching Tweek in his new environment. I notice that in the entire duration of the lunch period its Clyde, Token, Craig and Butters talking. He never opens his mouth. He just sits there, silently, still, keeping his head on his tray.

It goes on like this for days. He never changes and he never talks to me more than he has to. When he does he's so civil and nice that I want to choke him. I try more times than I would have for any other person to get him to talk. To make him talk to me, but he always manages to get around it. It's all I can think about, he's in my mind 24/7. All I can see is that look on his face, and his back as he ran off that day.

By the end of the week I'm pacing in Stan's living room. Him and Kyle are sitting on the couch watching me, both with forlorn looks

"I understand what you said is chewing you up inside, but you're going to fuck up the carpet if you keep pacing." Stan says with a sigh.

I plop down in-between them. "Why the fuck, do I care so much about this?" I suddenly ask them. "I wouldn't care if say… Cartman had overheard me saying that."

"But you don't like Cartman," Kyle points out.

"I wouldn't care if it were…" I try to think of someone I don't hate. "Butters."

Kyle frowns, but catches himself before Stan notices, "well… you said it yourself, that you were friends with Tweek. Since when are you friends with Butters?" Stan points out.

"Just give Tweek some more time Kenny and then you can apologize." Kyle tells me.

"And in the meantime I what?" I ask Kyle, looking at him for guidance I suddenly want. "Because, for some reason, I cant get over this."

"This is so unlike you," Stan mutters quietly. "I never thought I'd say this, but why don't you go out and… enjoy yourself. It might take your mind off all this."

I stare at Stan and I know Kyle is too.

Was he suggesting you go off and fuck someone?

That's… what is sounded like. But Stan disapproves of things like that. Shit, he must be worried. But… maybe that's what I need. Maybe that's what I should do.

I've mentioned that before ass. You didn't listen when I suggested it.

Piss off. I stand, knocking both Stan and Kyle slightly. My face is determined and I give him a smile. "Good idea Stan." I say and leave at once, not bothering to look back at their faces.

Instinctively I head to Craig's, but halfway there I remember that situation. No, I have to go to someone else. I try to think of all the possibilities. There's quite a few, but not many won't ask questions I don't feel like answering. I choose an old friend from middle school. As we're going at it, my mind finally lets all thoughts of Tweek slip away. Finally. Just as I climax into the guy, the thoughts return ten fold, and I groan inwardly.

It seems a fuck is only a quick fix. But quick enough. Everyday after school I meet with someone, and for a few moments I can forget. It works for me and after a time I start to feel like things are returning back to normal with me.

Dear Journal,

I have friends again. Isn't that great. People talk to me more at school too, and no one calls me names. I'm finally being given a break, it's nice, it's all very… nice. Oh, have I mentioned I stopped shaking too? Yeah, I have. This is what I've always wanted.

Journal, is it bad, that even after Kenny said he hated me that I still really really like him? Is it bad that I still love him? He had lied to me and what I overheard him saying was so mean, that I still hurt, I should be so mad at him. But I cant be, because I knew this would happen. I miss him, but he hasn't even gone anywhere.

Your friend, Tweek

My life has been methodical for 18 years. And I've been fine with it. I don't mind change, but I don't think it's necessary. Everything is pretty much the same. I've been doing everything in moderation. Evening out my days; Sleeping, eating, drinking, smoking and fucking. Perfect.

Fuck. Things are not fucking perfect anymore. He ruined it, he messed it all up. That stupid, fucking, twitching, blonde freak.

I lay silently next to girl beside me. It's a different girl than yesterday and its her bed, her house and she's sleeping soundly, glad someone is. Her breath is coming in slowly. She satisfied me in that short moment. The way everyone has been, but the moment has past, and I still know what I knew after all these fuck fests. These aren't me anymore, I cant keep doing this. The thought somewhat startles me because I am Kenny McCormick. I hate commitment, love no one, but my two friends and I definitely am not supposed to crave someone else's attention, touches, looks, scent...

And of all people it definitely isn't supposed to be Tweek. I just want to apologize to the fucker and he won't let me!

I cant believe my thoughts are fixated on a kid that cant be still for a second. I used to be amused at the idea of taunting him, now I practically want to throw myself down in front of his feet and beg for forgiveness. Well… I don't quite want to do that. I face the ceiling, remembering for the nth time when this...this, thing with Tweek had appeared. When did I start caring what he thought of me? It hasn't been sudden, so I don't know why I didn't see it coming. First he was an annoying thorn, then he was tolerable and now… I don't even know.

I think back to my behavior when he used to act the way he did before he got all reserved and calm. I remember when I started to smile at the way he twitched instead of smirking. Sure I was still annoyed, but I smiled inside. I made sure Cartman stopped teasing him and of course Cartman doesn't care who he teases as long as he gets someone.

I turn to my side away from the girl. What I said to Stan the day Tweek overheard replays in my head over and over again. I exhale a shaky breath when I admit it to myself. Everything I said I hated about Tweek, is everything I like about him.

Not love about him?

I don't love Tweek Tweak. I don't.

I try to sleep but after hours of rolling around and tossing I give in and climb out of bed. I pull my pants back on and toss my shirt back around myself. Tweek and I are talking, right now. Never mind that it's three in the morning. He can sleep when I have a clear conscious.

Dear Journal,

I can't sleep. I had a really bad dream about clowns trying to eat me. I hate that dream, especially since it was different this time. This time the clown took off his mask, and behind it was Kenny. I have to stop thinking about him, he hates me. I need to accept that.

Oh Jesus! Journal! I heard a noise!

I heard it again! It's coming from my window! Maybe it's the clown! I'll be right back!

.o.

I went to go peek around my curtain. It's not the clown, but the person who was behind the mask. Kenny's outside, throwing rocks at my window. I was going to ignore him, but he saw me! Now what should I do? It's three in the morning and if he keeps up that noise he'll wake up my parents!

Okay, I'll go down just to tell him to go away and that's all.

Your friend, Tweek

End of chapter 11leven


AN: And so ends the Lemonade vignettes. This chapter has far too much to comment on so, you do that for me. Hope everyone had a good holiday season! I did! Think of this 26 pg chapter as a late Christmas day present from me! (:

Faery Goddyss :D