My alarm went off at 5:30 am and I sluggishly pulled myself out of bed.
My first class didn't start for another four hours but I thought with having to share the shower with several other people I would have a better chance at actually getting a shower in if I woke up this early.
Grabbing a towel I made my way downstairs as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.
Shower first, then coffee.
Descending the stairs I peeked around the corner. There was noise indicating people were up but the bathroom was clear.
Quietly and quickly I made my way to the bathroom and shut the door and turned on the water.
Climbing in I went over my mental to-do list in my head as I let the hot water wash over me.
If George could get me this job I would be more grateful to him than before.
Suddenly I heard the door to the bathroom open.
In an instant I froze.
A familiar deep dread churned in my stomach.
The snide voice in my head spoke.
And you thought you had nothing to fear here.
"Lexie hurry your ass up. I called the shower next."
It was Dr. Karev.
And he didn't close the door and walk out.
From the frosted glass of the shower door I could tell that he continued to walk into the bathroom and use the sink from his outline.
Panic overtook me.
"Get out." Meekly speaking.
"What? Lexie come on hurry up." His voice rose.
"Get out!" My voice hoarse.
"Alex why are you shouting my name?" I heard Lexie speak from the doorway.
"Wait you're not in the shower?" He questioned as he walked forward to the shower door.
"Get out now!" Screaming as I shrunk back into the corner of the shower.
"Alex that's Charlie!" She yelled at him.
"Oh shit!" His outline quickly retreated from the sliding shower door.
Trembling I slid down onto the tub floor and covered my mouth with my hands to keep my cries from escaping.
"Charlie! Charlie are you okay?" Lexie sounded worried.
"Please just get out!" Crying as I wrapped my arms around myself wanting to hide away.
After what felt like an eternity I finally heard the door close.
Dropping my head into my knees I began to sob as dark memories washed over me.
Through the sound of the shower I heard noise outside in the hallway.
You're safe. You're safe. You're safe.
Repeating to myself as I gently rocked back and forth.
There was a knock on the door.
"I'll be out in a few minutes!" Shouting out.
"Charlie its Meredith. Are you okay?" She asked.
"For fuck's sake will you people stop asking me that and let me finish my damn shower in peace!" Snapping.
There was silence.
"Okay. We'll talk about this later." Meredith's voice had a quiet undertone.
When I was sure she had gone I slowly began to stand, supporting myself on the tiled wall because my legs still shook.
"Come on Charlie pull it together. You don't have time for this. Suck it up and keep moving." Harshly speaking out loud as I willed myself to pull it together.
Roughly wiping the rest of the tears from my eyes I forced myself to stop crying and finish my shower.
Four minutes later I turned off the water and grabbed my towel.
Quickly drying myself off I wrapped myself as tight as I could.
My eyes caught my reflection.
"There isn't time for weakness." Giving myself a cold stare.
Turning around I grabbed the doorknob and yanked the door open.
Lexie, George and April were standing by the door.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you guys not to stare?" Walking away from them.
"Charlie." George spoke behind me.
"Not now George." Growling as I ran up the stairs as fast I could, not stopping till the door was locked behind me.
Leaning against the door I took deep breaths.
It's only four weeks.
Come on you need to get ready.
Getting ready I tried not to think. Tried to push the past as deep as I could. It worked for a little while until it was time to go downstairs.
Normally I would screw it and try to make a break for the front door but I promised Derek I would post my schedule on the fridge.
Looking down at the piece of paper in my hand I scowled.
Stupid thing.
Checking the time, my phone said 7:39.
I could try to wait it out till everyone left but I wanted to get to school early to get good parking and get a jump start on all of my missed work.
Clicking on my phone the time said 7:40.
I mean they're all doctors so I assumed they would have left by now to get to the hospital and see patients and do whatever they did.
Sighing I bent down, picked up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. Grabbing my keys I took one last inhale before opening my door and making my way downstairs.
When I reached downstairs everything was quiet.
Quickly I made my way into the kitchen. Lightning fast I posted my schedule on the fridge and was determined to get the hell out of there.
But the universe was not on my side today.
Then again it rarely was.
"Ah!" Jumping out of my skin as I nearly collided with George.
"Jesus!" Scolding him "A little warning would have been nice."
"Sorry." He blushed "I didn't mean to scare you."
We were quiet for a few beats.
"Not that this conversation isn't thrilling and all but I need to get to class." Laying on the sarcasm heavy.
I expected him to be offended or annoyed with me but all that happened was this large smirk appeared on his face.
Putting my hands on hips I stared at him "What?" Questioning.
His smirk only grew wider into a smile "Nothing."
My eyes narrowed into slits as I still held my stance but the smile was still on his face.
"Well you might not have anything better to do today than stand there staring at me like a dope, but I have class." Rolling my eyes.
"What are you doing later?" George asked.
"I have my class until 11:30 then I need to make the rounds to two of my professors and catch up on what I missed. Then tonight at six I need to meet up with some of my friends to do work for our performance class, why?"
"Well I just got off the phone with my friend Joe who owns the Emerald City Bar across the street from the hospital. He is very skeptical but he is willing to meet with you today. The bar doesn't open until 3, can you do two this afternoon? I know it's tight." He asked.
"No, no I'll make it work!" Raising my voice and my hopes.
Anything to get a job.
"Great well I can give you the address. We can meet there. I'll make sure to make time in my schedule today to be there."
"George if I can get this job I will be forever in your debt more than I already am." Smiling at him to which he just laughed.
Then his smiled faded.
"Charlotte about this morning." George began but I cut him off.
"There is nothing to talk about. It's over and done. I overreacted." Looking at my phone "I really need to get going" Pulling out a pen I scribbled my number on a napkin.
"Text me with the address." Pushing it into his hands before I walked out the kitchen "I'll see you at two." Calling out as I hurried to the door, grabbing it open and shutting before he could speak and hobbled to my car.
"There she is!" Sam called out as I made my way to my friends "She's alive." He did a Frankenstein voice as he grabbed me and wrapped me in a hug.
"Yup still kicking the last time I checked." Giggling out as I allowed myself to be enveloped in his warmth.
Sam released me only for me to be hugged by Mo and Ellie.
"Hey love." Mo pulled back and smiled before waving a coffee cup in my face.
"Oh I love you." Groaning as I greedily took it from her "I didn't have time to have coffee this morning." Taking a sip, my taste buds swimming in the familiar flavor.
Ellie raised an eyebrow at me.
"It's nothing." Shaking my head communicating I didn't want to talk about it any further.
"So how are things at the new place?" Sam slung an arm around me as we began walking towards the class I shared with him.
"They're going okay." Shrugging "So far so good and I might be getting me a job. I have to go in today for an informal interview. George helped set it up."
"You mean Dr. Cutie?" Ellie wiggled her eyebrows.
"Ellie." Chastising her as I lightly blushed "Like I said the other day it's not like that, and I'm seventeen."
"So what's the job?" Mo inquired as she saved me from Ellie's antics.
"Well if I can swing it and actually convince the guy to hire me I'd be working at a bar."
"Charlie you're not 18." Sam stated in confusion.
"Yeah I know." Taking a sip of my coffee "I'd be paid under the table until I turned 18. That is if I get it. The interview is at two."
"Hmmm." He made a sound of discontent but I knew that it wasn't annoyance. In the time I had known Sam he had become like the brother I had always wanted. He kept an eye on me, always making sure I was okay and I had grown to love him for it.
"Hey a job is a job and I need money." Countering back "Plus you all know me. No need to worry about me drinking on the job."
"Yeah leave her alone. Like she said a job is a job, plus it'd be only four weeks of being paid under the table till her birthday." Ellie came to my defense and I shot her a smile.
"Sam we know Charlie can handle it. She can handle anything. Hell she is the most mature out of all us and she's the youngest." Mo winked at me.
"Yes. Remember who got you home the night you got plastered at Lincoln's Bar because of your ex Shelley?" Raising my eyebrows at him.
"Okay, okay point taken." Sam held up his hands in defeat "If you think this what is best for you then we'll support it."
"Thank you." Pecking his cheek and watched a blush tint his cheeks as I internally laughing at his uncomfortableness.
"So we still on for our performance meeting/dinner at Wally's Diner tonight." He asked trying to shift attention.
"Six on the dot." As we reached the classroom and everyone dispersed.
"Come on kid time for some higher learning." Sam joked as we walked in.
It was currently 1:55 and I was waiting outside of the Emerald City Bar waiting on George to show up.
After class I said a quick goodbye to Sam and sprinted, well hobbled, damn boot, to my two professors. Explaining the craziness of the past week and why I wasn't in class. Luckily they were understanding as I promised to get all of my missed work done.
When all that was said and done I barely had enough time to eat a hurried lunch with Mo and drive back to the address that George had texted me.
So here I was waiting now for George.
Speak of the devil.
As I was thinking about George he shows up.
He was like some less-creepy, more likeable version of Beetlejuice.
"Hey." He jogged up to me "Sorry I was with a patient. Were you waiting long?"
Shaking my head "Nope just got here. It's all good." Awkwardly saying.
George gestured to the door. We walked forward and he opened the door and held it open for me.
"Thank you." Fighting a small blush, but I didn't understand why I was blushing in the first place.
The inside of the Emerald City Bar was my kind of scene.
It had a timeless aesthetic.
Not a trashy dive bar, but it wasn't the Ritz either.
It was comfortable, cozy. It felt like this was another home away from for most people.
Maybe it would be for me too.
The bar was empty as it before opening hours. It didn't have an eerie feeling though. It was calm.
A man who was standing behind the bar polishing glasses put his task aside and came forward to us.
"Hey George." The man, who I assumed was the owner, shook his hand.
"Hi Joe, thank you so much for seeing us today." George returned the handshake.
"No problem but like I said I'm not making any promises." Their hands dropped.
Joe extended his hand towards me and I met him halfway "Nice to meet you sir I'm Charlotte Barton but everyone calls me Charlie."
"Please call me Joe none of this sir business." He chuckled. "Pleasure to meet you Charlie." He gestured to a table "Let's take a seat."
George pulled out a chair for me and again I bit my tongue to keep the blush, I didn't know why I kept getting, from spreading on my face.
Once I sat down I opened my folder and pulled out my resume and handed it to him.
"Here is my resume. As you can see I have experience in a little bit of everything. I have done restaurant work, so a bar would be no problem. I am very personable. I can handle people good or bad and I am excellent under pressure." Trying by best to sound confident and secure and not give off the impression I was shaking on the inside.
Silently Joe looked over the paper before coming back to me.
"Well it does look like you do have a lot of experience but I'm sorry I can't hire a seventeen year old to tend the bar."
My heart sank but I wasn't giving up that easily.
"Look Joe if I was able to find another job where they would take a minor I would be there, not here. Unfortunately the options are slim picking at the moment. I understand you don't want to break the law by hiring a minor but technically you would only be paying me under the table for four weeks, just until I turn eighteen."
"I know all about discretion Joe so I won't be blabbing to anyone. I am a straight-edge person. No smoking, drinking, drugs. I am completely clean. Normally I don't beg but I need this job if I am going to you know, eat, that important thing we all need to do." Smirking at him which he smirked back.
"Plus if it make you feel any better you can put down all of the information from my fake ID on all of the paperwork and then pay me in cash for the next four weeks."
This little bit of information shocked the both of them.
"You have a fake ID?" George's voice rose.
Reaching into my wallet I pulled out my fake ID from its secret pocket and gave it to Joe "I'm a seventeen year old sophomore in college. All of my friends are older than me. Ellie actually helped me get it so I could join them out at the bars."
George still looked at me all slack-jawed.
"Don't give me that look!" Chastising him "The ID only says that I'm nineteen and when we go out I still don't drink. I make sure that wherever we go they mark my hand so the bartenders know not to serve me alcohol."
Turning back to Joe I gave him my full attention "Joe I know you don't know me but I really, really need this job. If you give me a chance I will work my ass off and I promise you won't regret hiring me. I know that all of the doctors come in here and drink but everyone I know will keep their mouths shut. Just please give me a shot." Pleading to him.
Joe pursed his lips for a few seconds as he looked me over.
Please. Please. Please. Please.
Sighing he pinched his nose "Oh I hope I won't come to regret this."
Hope stirred slightly inside me.
"You mean?" Optimistically inquiring.
"Can you come in tomorrow to start training?"
"Yes! Yes I can! Oh thank you so much!" Jumping up and hugging him across the table.
"You won't regret this I promise!" Releasing him "You will get professionalism all the way I promise!"
"That's what I expect." Joe gave me a weary smile.
Still hopping up and down with excitement that I had found a job I launched myself at George.
"Congratulations." He laughed as he returned my hug.
"Thank you for this." Pulling back with a smile.
For a few beats we stared into each other's eyes smiling like idiots.
It made my skin prickle.
Joe coughed and we stepped apart.
Instantly I was embarrassed with myself.
"Tomorrow at one can you come?" Joe asked me.
"Yes." Nodding.
"Good I'll give you a quick tour and let you jump in when the bar opens. I keep it pretty casual here so jeans are fine but don't wear your best shoes because stuff will get spilled."
"Got it." Reaching out I shook his hand again "Thank you again, thank you so much."
We said our goodbyes and once again it was just George and me outside.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes." Doing a happy dance.
"I'm glad you're happy Charlotte." He smiled.
"That's another thing I'll forever indebted to you for." Smirking at him.
"You're not indebted to me Charlotte." He chuckled "You just deserved for some good to come your way. I'm happy I could help with that."
Silence filled the air but it wasn't awkward it was actually nice.
Comfortable.
The sound of a pager beeped and our bubble was broken.
Grabbing his pager he glanced at it before looking back to me "I'm sorry I need to go." He apologized.
"No, no it's fine! I have some errands to run anyway." Rushing the words in a nervous tone.
Giving him a wave we parted and I walked back to my car.
For an unknown reason there was a feeling of disappointment in my chest that I couldn't quite pin down.
"Congrats to Charlie for getting a job." Mo raised her glass in a toast that everyone joined in on.
"Thanks guys." Blushing as I joined my glass to theirs.
The business part of our get together was done and now we were enjoying our food.
"So how long do you have to keep the boot on?" Sam asked.
"Two weeks if I don't push it." Scowling down at the damn thing.
"Well make sure not to push it. We need your moves!" Ellie grinned and it made me laugh.
"I'll do my best, especially now that I'm working at a bar."
"I still can't believe you got the job. I mean it is illegal." Sam stated and I shushed him.
"Could you be any louder?" Questioning him "And why? A job is a job and it will only be under the table for four weeks."
"One more thing to thank Dr. Cutie for." Ellie wiggled her eyebrows at me.
"Ellie." Mo and I warned.
"What?" She innocently asked with fake wide eyes.
"Seventeen, illegal, doctor, roommate, gone in four weeks." Rattling off all of the things she already knew about me and George.
"You're already doing one illegal thing by working at a bar, what's one more?" She cheekily inquired.
I rolled my eyes "You have a problem."
"One, we all knew that." Sam smirked "Two, we all know Charlie wouldn't do anything as stupid as getting together with her former doctor." He proudly smiled at me.
"Right." Smiling back but deep down in a place I didn't want to acknowledge, it wasn't a genuine smile, and I didn't want to think about why.
"I just can't wait for these four weeks to fly by." Telling them and meaning every word.
It would be better when I left.
There was a knock on my door.
My laptop read 10:11.
"Who is it?" Tiredly asking as I tried to work on this paper.
"It's Meredith can I come in?"
I really didn't want to talk or see anyone right now but I couldn't say no to her.
"Sure come in." Quickly rubbing my eyes.
The door open and she appeared.
"Hey how was your day?"
"Good." Replying "Went back to school, got all of my missed work, saw my friends, had a meeting and went to dinner. Now I'm just working on a paper that's due next week." Pointing to my laptop.
"How was yours?" Asking her.
"Oh you know, hectic." Meredith chuckled.
"So George told us all about your new job at Joe's." She said in a wary tone.
"Meredith don't worry. I don't smoke, don't drink, I always say no to drugs. This is just a job. Plus I know how to take care of myself." Trying to reassure her.
"But it's illegal Charlie."
"So is abusing your foster child but John still did that anyway." Biting at her and instantly regretting it.
"Sorry, I'm sorry." Lowering my gaze "I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just been a long day." Shyly apologizing.
Great start Charlie. I'm sure you'll be staying those four full weeks.
"It's okay Charlie. I know you didn't have the best morning." Meredith gently approached and inside I was screaming that I did not want to talk about this.
"Yeah." Pausing out as I turned my attention back to my laptop "That won't happen again. I'll make sure to lock the door if Dr. Karev just remembers to knock." Wanting to be done with this conversation.
"Okay."
See she said okay but I knew she wasn't done.
"Charlie can I ask you something?"
It took all I had to stifle my groan.
"Sure." Rubbing my face as I went back to my computer.
"The way you reacted this morning with Alex it's typically a reaction that is seen in people who have been abused."
"Well that's because I have been." Furrowing my face in confusion as I still didn't look at her.
"Yes but I am talking about a different kind of abuse." She said softly.
The rigidity in my body made me stand up straight. My throat felt dry. My stomach flipped upside down making me nauseous.
Still I did not speak for over forty seconds.
"I think that the past is the past for a reason." Speaking with a hard tone of finality as I kept my eyes on my screen.
Meredith didn't respond and after a few seconds I broke the silence.
"I need to get ready for bed." Telling her.
What I was really saying though was get out.
"Okay, have a goodnight." Meredith spoke.
Only when I heard the door close did I let my body go loose and let out a shaky breath.
The past is the past for a reason.
Thinking to myself as I shut my laptop shut.
