I continue to be absolutely gob smacked by the response to this little fic. Thank you seems to be so small, so i give you a longer chapter with a little something extra...ahem
This is going to be a long one, i hope no one objects...and the chaps will be longer from here on out
I hope that is ok (wink)
The quiet in the house was driving everyone insane.
The Doctor and Martha did little more than pass surreptitiously suspicious glances at each other. Dinners became reminiscent of Sunday dinners at the Jones home toward the end.
Amy, having allowed a small inkling into her consciousness about what was going on between the Doctor and Martha, seemed angrier at both of them than she could rationalize.
The mornings of serene placidity had been replaced by three people who went out of their way to avoid each other, and Rory in the role of the despondent offspring watching mom and dad fight. Now, Martha still came down first, but far earlier than before. She fed Gleep and took him for his walk in the back yard. By walk of course, it is understood that he would fly around for about an hour while Martha drank her coffee and 'read' the paper.
Rory still came down second, but just in time to see Martha take Gleep in for his clean up. He missed the silent conversations he and Martha would have while the Doctor made breakfast.
The second week of their residence at the Alien Estates, was a far more silent and subdued affair. Rory found himself hoping that the two of them would figure things out on their own; he had his own troubles to deal with.
The Doctor spent a lot of time in the shed out back, sometimes Rory would watch him walk over to the blue box, put the key in, and curse silently at the locked door. Apparently, his TARDIS had decided his life for him. Rory wondered how much of the box's sudden stasis had to do with the Doctor's relationship with Martha.
Amy had figured it out on the second day of silence. It was as if a light had been switched on over her head. The quartet had sat down to dinner only because no one else wanted to cook and Amy had a real talent for home cooked dinners. The tension between Martha and the Doctor was so obvious even Gleep felt it. The tiny reptile sat between Martha and The Doctor, eyeing the Doctor suspiciously during each meal.
Martha had become more attached to the little beast than she had imagined. In many ways it was like having a child. He expected her to feed him every morning, take him out to play, and give cuddles. Gleep was a wonderful little dragon, though surprisingly quiet. She had expected him to raise a fuss at things, but he simply nudged her hand, or took her blankets in his mouth and pulled to wake her.
"You are a bloody alarm clock." She groused the first morning he woke her up, tail wagging.
Gleep nodded and nudged her head toward the door. Martha wondered how much of what she said he understood. She remembered that the doctor had said that his first bite was a massive psychic bond, but she could not understand him. Could she?
She wanted to ask the Doctor about it, in fact she wanted to ask the Doctor about a lot of things, but they weren't talking.
Well they were, but it was a lot of bitter angry childish remarks. Bitter angry childish remarks from bitter angry childish people who would rather snipe at each other than to attack the real problem, they hid behind their IQ's and fought dirty.
Gleep nudged her hand again as she sat on the stone bench in the yard. It had been a week of tense conversations, and Martha was starting to worry that this was stressful for Amy, and if their childish behaviors would be putting unnecessary upon her. Gleep crawled unto her lap and nuzzled in for a early morning nap.
From her advantage, the lake was behind her, and the house garden was a good distance from her perch. This was Gleep's favorite place to fly. He would twirl and dip and fly just to touch the water with one scaly leg before flying again and spraying her with lake water.
A lone figure moved across the grounds, his stride purposeful and just this side of angry. He didn't seem to notice Martha off in the distance, and his short coat flapped in the gentle warm breeze as he moved. Martha watched the Doctor move to his TARDIS, try the lock, and pound the door once in frustration. He quickly rubbed his hand on the door reverently as if begging for forgiveness. The Doctor slid down the door and landed into a crossed leg sitting position with his back and head against the door, arms folded.
Martha felt bad for him. She knew this had to be killing him. She knew that he needed his freedom, more so than any other person or creature she had ever met. To have his own ship forbid him that freedom must be forcing him to twist a bit. And truthfully, Martha had to believe that was something he needed.
She gathered her charge into her arms and made her way over to him. He seemed to not notice her until she was standing above him. "Come to gloat?" he asked bitterly.
"I have come to be your friend." She smiled, seating herself next to him with her back to the TARDIS
He nodded and scooted over a little, petulantly moving away from her. "I don't need a friend, I need my TARDIS."
She held her free hand out to him. "Do you want me to try?"
The Doctor shook his head and sighed. "She has made her decision Martha. She has decided I am to stay here and make things right. "
"You mean until the baby comes."
"That, and between you and i." he sighed, rubbing his hands over his eyes.
Martha nodded, not wanting to affront him by insisting for more information. She had the feeling that in the early morning fog the Doctor was in the mood for confessing.
"1969 was no accident Martha.' He finally admitted. "It was in a way but it was TARDIS trying to correct what she had screwed up.'
"Ok," Martha encouraged.
He looked at her, really looked at her with those green eyes and different face. "I really liked you Martha. From the moment I met you I really liked you, you were so smart, and made me work for even my own name." he smiled at the memory.
"I felt really honestly proud of myself for a silly thing like you calling me Doctor. She knew." He banged his head up against the blue box. "The ancient old thing knew how I felt about you. And she agreed with it. Thought I needed a break from playing deity."
Martha nodded, but inside she could hear about a billion different silly love songs playing in her head all at the same time. "So is that why she sent us to 1913?"
"It was supposed to be 2013." He shook his head in irritation. "We were supposed to go to America, in 2013, a nice little quiet existence. I think it was her intention to give me another hundred years."
"She has done this before?" she asked.
"No , well sort of it's a long story. Martha it was her intention to send us off to have a life together, set the watch to open automatically on a certain date, long after your death."
"Oh, I see." She didn't not really but anything to keep him talking at this point.
"I think she meant for us to have a life there on Earth Martha, you and I. She assumed you would have stayed with me no matter what."
"True Facts." She grinned.
"Yes, well. Barring blond nurses." He smiled.
Martha shrugged but felt the old familiar pain reside somewhere in her heart. There was always that feeling of being the second choice. He could have been with Rose, if only. He and Rose would have had a life, if only.
"TARDIS would have never left me in Rose's hands." He echoed her unasked question. "She loved Rose, but Rose would have tried to destroy the watch, she was always on about forever. She never understood forever is a matter of perception."
He took her hand in his and leaned into her. "You understand Martha. How fleeting this life is. I know how bad things were when you walked the earth. I know you of all people understand that forever is a concept for fairy stories and Let's Pretend.
Martha tried to smile but somehow it got lodged in her throat. "So she wanted you to what? Take off a century and try a normal life for a while?"
"It's nearly a requirement." He nodded. "No one to love leaves you with a disconnect for life on a whole. How can anyone be expected to save something that they cannot feel for anymore?" he looked at her with all the earnestness of a man telling the truth—finally. "It was the perfect opportunity Martha. The Family was chasing us, I had to hide out, and I needed a reality check. But, something went wrong when I set the controls. She got bumped into something. One little number difference and we were trapped there. She could not risk another flight with the Family on our heels. But she did n=try to make it up to you."
"1969?" Martha asked
The Doctor laughed, "No Martha, that was my attempt to make things up to you. I knew that we would have to go there, remember the woman who stopped us on the way to the migration?"
She nodded, she remembered. She remembered being thoroughly pissed that yet another blond had crossed his path and distracted him.
"Sally Sparrow." She gave me all of the information about our impromptu exile. I knew it was to happen, and I wanted to give you three months of domesticity. It was all I could offer." He shrugged
Martha nodded. "Not exactly intentional if you were avoiding a paradox."
He shook his head. "But we had a good time, I mean we were as if we were married." He smiled.
"Well," Martha corrected with a quirk. "Not quite."
The Doctor smiled and patted her head. "Quite right."
They sat together in the early morning as the second sun rose on the far horizon across the lake. "Its green plasma hull cast crazy light across the sky. "This is really beautiful." Martha said.
The Doctor grabbed her hand again and squeezed tightly. "Not half as much as you."
"Where are we going with all of this Doctor?" she asked, afraid not to ask, but afraid to hear and answer as well.
"Where would you like this to go Martha?" he answered, eyes boring into her skin. "I am sorry for accusing you of being like Rose, but before I go any further here, I need to know, how do you feel about me? I mean this me. Or the last me, or any me you may have met."
"You are rambling." She accused.
He nodded. "I am, but I need to know that there is a chance we could have something, and I realize its tentative at best. I realize that at some point in a long enough time line everyone's survival rate is zero. But I would like the chance to see where we can go. I don't think I could really try this with anyone else"
"Doctor,"
"I just would like the chance to see if we could have that vacation, or maybe something. Oh this is silly. I should just get up now, b=go back to my room and pretend this conversation never happened
But he didn't get up; even when Martha called his name again he continued to prattle on. "The thing is Martha, how could I not have fallen for you? Shakespeare found you irresistible, and who am I to argue with a genius?"
"Doctor." She grabbed his lapels and drew him close to her face. "Shut Up." He did, at least long enough for Martha to place her lips over his. "Well," she smirked after coming up for air. "Now I know how to render you speechless. " she laughed. "Hope that answered your question, or series of questions. "
The Doctor nodded dumbly then moved his face to hers. "Let's check the experiment Dr. Jones, make sure that the results are the same this time."
