Just then a gigantic spaceship came down from the sky and its low-hanging airlock crushed the mammoth tribute like a bug. From the airlock emerged a man dressed like a member of Kraftwerk. "Young puppet, anthropomorphic cricket, come with us!" he said.
"THE STARCRUSHERS!" Pinocchio and Jiminy yelled simultaneously in shock. "We're getting you out of here. Please come now." The Starcrusher said calmly.

Once they had boarded, the ship took off and they quickly left the arena and flew onward. "We examined the security video, and discovered that not only was your cat-and-camel story false, but that you and anthropomorphic cricket were the ones who damaged our ship's reactor." The Kraftwerk man said. Oh crap. Pinocchio though, Now we're gonna get it… "Are you gonna vaporize us?" He asked nervously.
"No." the man replied. "Our ship was forced to make an emergency-landing a little ways from Hadrian's Wall. Our ship has been fixed and is working fine. We don't waste precious energy on pointless grudges."
"Oh… cool." Pinocchio said. "So, why'd you rescue me?" He then asked. "The same reason that we picked you up the first time." The Starcrusher replied. "By the way, care for a Newport?" He said, offering Pinocchio a smoke. "Sweet! Thanks!" Pinoc said, taking it happily and lighting up, forgetting to ask what that original reason was.

On the command deck, they were taken to Commander Forthwith. "I assume that you are curious as to why we picked you up" Forthwith said. "Oh yeah, that... Why?" Pinocchio asked, putting out his cigarette. "Because," the Commander explained, "we know that deep within that wooden cranium of yours, is contained the knowledge that we need to locate the ultimate guitar solo!"

At hearing this, Pinocchio and Jiminy could only stair in utter bewilderment at the possibility that Commander Forthwith as well as the other 100 men who made up the Starcrushers were all completely insane. "Why do you think I know where the ultimate guitar solo is?" He asked. "Because your head is made out of oak—is it not?"
"It is." Pinoc confirmed.
"Oak is a long-lived wood. And anything that lives long is automatically wise. And therefore, your head, which is made of wise wood, knows many things. Hopefully one of those things is the location of the greatest guitar solo in the entire universe."
"Okay…" Pinocchio said, getting increasingly weirded out.
"And now that you're here and cannot escape again," Forthwith continued, "we can finally do exactly what we've been wanting to all along!"
"What are you gonna do to me!" Pinocchio asked, borderline freaking-out.
"This:" Commander Forthwith said, and leaned in closely to the young puppet's face, and spoke in the typical ultra-professional, non-emotive monotone that the Starcrushers almost always spoke in "Where can we find the greatest guitar solo in all of creation?"

Pinocchio was stunned. He had expected something much worse.
"You're just gonna ask me?" He asked. "Did you think that we would cut your head open?" Forthwith asked, "Don't be ridiculous." He said calmly. "Such a move would be incredibly stupid and inefficient. What if we made a mistake and killed you?" Pinoc was relieved, but unsure just how to respond. To the best of his knowledge, he had no clue where they could possibly find the greatest guitar solo in the universe? He had never even technically left Europe, let alone the Earth. "I dunno. I never thought about it before." He replied genuinely. "Think young puppet, think!" Commander Forthwith implored. "You must have the answer!"

Pinocchio wasn't sure what to do. He seriously had no freaking clue where to find the perfect guitar solo. But he had to say something. The Starcrushers would clearly not take no for answer. "Uhhh…" he stalled, "wait a minute!" He said, thankful his nose couldn't give him away. "I'm getting something! I'm getting something! I think… I think… I think the ultimate guitar solo…"
"Yes?"
"Can be found…"
"Yes?"
"On a planet…"
"YES?"
"In a galaxy…"
"TELL US YOUNG PUPPET, WE ARE ON THE EDGE OF OUR SEATS!" Forthwith declared, showing a level of emotion Pinoc and Jiminy previously thought the Starcrushers incapable of.
"Far, far away! On a planet… uh… with… tall trees made of mongoose feathers… and… uh… vast prairies of… linoleum… and… uh… rivers… running with… limeade… and… populated by… birds… with feathers made out of machine guns, and… eyes made out of infrared cameras, and… legs made out of… jetpacks—"

The second he finished, Commander Forthwith rushed back to his commander's chair, swiveled around, and began giving orders to the crew. "We have the location!" He said, once again in his strict, no-nonsense demeanor, "Set course for a planet in a galaxy far, far away. Said planet's topography includes trees comprised of mongoose feathers, linoleum prairies, and limeade rivers. The inhabitances are fowl with machine gun feathers, infrared eyes, and jetpack legs. Go! Go! Go!" The men raced back and forth, passing commands, sitting down to control seats, checking dials and meters. Pinoc was impressed at both how efficient these guys were, as well as how damned passionate they were about their goal. But one thing still worried him: What would they do when they never found such a planet? The description he gave was complete nonsense he had pulled out his rear. And he didn't even specify a star system, or even a galaxy beyond that said galaxy was 'far, far away', and that he'd ripped off from George Lucas. Oh well, he'd figure something out…