Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.
Chuck awoke first the next morning. Blair had shifted in her sleep as she was curled up against him now with her hand resting on his chest right over his heart. She had a serenely peaceful smile on her face as her eyelids fluttered in her sleep. Her skin felt like heaven against him. It had been too long since he'd felt this particular sensation. Even the women he'd forced himself to be with after they'd broken up hadn't felt this good. Then he remembered that he'd kicked them out after he'd come to his senses and realized they weren't Blair.
Their activities from the previous evening had caused him mild discomfort in his stomach, but he wouldn't have given up those moments with her.
It shouldn't have happened. He never should have let it get that far. Not only had the doctors told him bluntly that sex could seriously hinder his recovery, but now Blair might have the idea that she should continue seducing him until she had her way. Their fractured relationship couldn't be repaired with mind-blowing orgasms. They'd always been amazing together when it came to intimacy, but he wanted more than sex out of their relationship. He wanted a life with her. He wanted to be her mate in every sense of the word, certainly more than just a bedmate.
"How long have you been awake?" Blair mumbled as her eyes fluttered open.
He was slightly disappointed when she woke up. He was hoping to have more time to enjoy the closeness of their naked bodies against each other before he had to do what needed to be done, but she looked to be waking for the day, rather than just mumbling before she nodded off again as she tended to do in the early mornings they'd spent together.
"A few minutes," he responded as he kissed her forehead.
"Did last night really happen?" she inquired as she looked him deeply in the eyes. He thought he might find regret and sadness, but there was only love and satisfaction.
He lifted the bed sheet to confirm they were both still gloriously naked as their lower extremities were intertwined. "I believe it really did," he nodded.
"I thought it was just another incredibly realistic and fantastic dream," she replied as she snuggled closer to him.
"This shouldn't have happened," he told her, echoing his sentiments from the previous evening. Just like that the magical spell was broken. Reality was slapping them both in the face.
"Don't expect me to apologize for what happened," she snapped as she sat up suddenly turning her upper body away from him as she swung her feet out of bed. He lunged for her hand just before she pulled it out of reach.
"I'd never dream of asking you to," he assured her as he held her gaze to his. "Whether it should have happened or not, it did and it was amazing, but it complicates things. I'm trying to earn your trust and restore your faith in me. Not even twelve hours ago we discussed getting back together. My terms have not changed, and you cannot tell me that after a few hours and one mind blowing orgasm that you've decided we can wipe the slate clean."
"We had the most amazing sex that we've ever had last night, and you've managed to ruin it," she hissed. "Congratulations."
"Is sex all it was to you, Waldorf," he stared her down. He knew her better than that. They had never had sex. It had always meant so much more than that to both of them than a simple roll in the hay. They had connected last night in a way that had been missing for far too long. "Did you not hope that I would wake up this morning and throw my terms out the window?"
"I'd hope for that whether we had sex last night or not," she scoffed as she slipped into her nightgown and stood up.
She was at the threshold of the room when he called out to her, stopping her from leaving, "I love you. That is why I'm doing this. Think whatever you like about last night, but know that I love you."
She nodded to let him know she heard him before she left the room as quickly as she could.
"B, every time I see you right now, you're in tears," Serena sighed as Blair threw herself onto the guest bed and into Serena's arms. Blair didn't respond other than to cry harder. "I heard you and Chuck last night. Did what I think I heard happen?"
Blair nodded against her best friend's ample bosom.
"Oh, B," Serena sighed in understanding.
"It was the best it's ever been," Blair cried. "There were fireworks. I saw stars. He was so gentle and sweet. When we came it was together. In that moment, it felt as if we'd never been apart, and I never want to be ever again."
"Are you back together?" Serena inquired.
"He won't let us get back together," Blair began to sob harder, if it was even possible.
Serena was speechless. She thought that it was Blair that was keeping him at a distance, not Chuck. "I thought he'd jump at the chance."
"He needs me to forgive him first," she explained as she began trying to reign in her emotions. She didn't want to spend the day trying to explain to Chuck the puffiness under her eyes because she knew he would ask, and she wasn't up for another conversation about why they weren't back together yet.
"I thought you have forgiven him," Serena replied.
"Completely," Blair elaborated, "His definition of forgiveness means that I can never bring up what happened ever again. We both need to have a fresh start. All of past mistakes are in the past."
"And you can't do that," Serena concluded.
"I forgive him," Blair replied, "But in the heat of the moment right now, I cannot guarantee that I won't bring it up again."
"What right does he have to place demands on you getting back together!" Serena scoffed. "He's the one that screwed up in the first place."
"But he's right," Blair shook her head. "If we start arguing, we'll throw out accusations against each other with the intention of hurting each other. It's what we've always done. He doesn't deserve to be hurt like that; neither of us do."
"What are you going to do, B?" Serena asked.
"Figure out how to forgive him, completely," Blair replied. "I love him too much to give up now."
Neither women knew it but Chuck was standing just outside the room listening to every word they said. His heart began to soar with her confession. Until that moment he hadn't believed it would be possible for Blair to totally forgive him. Now he realized if he did things right that it might only be a matter of time.
As silently as possible, Chuck returned to bed. It finally dawned on him that he was going about earning her trust in the wrong way. Rather than pushing her away to give her time to think and heal, he needed to show her that he was capable of being the man that she wanted him to be. He decided that things were going to be different from that moment on.
TBC. . . .
Kind of a short chapter, but I'd love to hear what you have to say anyways.
