I sat on the edge of the bed, looking over at the lump under the blankets that was Ryou. It was mere hours after my hikari-- who I misjudged so badly-- had brutally raped him.... and he'd gotten me involved in it.

"Ryou...." I called softly.

"Don't talk to me!" Was the broken response. "How could you..... how could you let him do that to me? A-All I do is listen to you.... I'm always a good slave, and yet you keep hurting me! You didn't even apologize!" He began to sob uncontrollably. Hearing that sound made a ball of cold guilt settle in my stomach. Carefully, slowly and gently I pulled the covers back and eased Ryou into my lap, holding him.

"Shhh...... Ryou..... I'll apologize now...." I said gently, rocking him back and forth. I thought he'd be angrier than this. I certainly would have been. "I'm sorry.... I'm sorry for how I'm always treating you... and I'm sorry for what my hikari did.... and I'm sorry for what I did...."

Ryou continued crying, burying his face in my chest. I noticed that he kept shifting, as though he couldn't get comfortable.

".......Does it hurt?" I asked.

"Y-Yes..." Ryou whispered. I gently laid him down on his side and got up, going to my bathroom and rummaging through my medicine cabinet for something to help him. I still felt that hot guilt bubbling in my stomach. "I'm.... I'm really a horrible person, aren't I?" I asked my reflection in the mirror. "Ryou's the only one I can trust...."

"Yes you are a horrible person." I was startled that my reflection had answered my question. "You could have easily stopped that from happening. You wanted Ryou to love you. That's why you've kept him this whole time."

My eyes widened. Was that really my true intention? Had I really wanted that, without even knowing? "Malik was the only person you treated civily. Why? Because you loved him. But you wanted more. You didn't want just one love in your life. And when Ryou came stumbling along, battered and bruised and helpless, you seized your chance."

"Sh-shut up!" I said, a bead of sweat running down my face.

"You thought that if you took Ryou in, and treated him like a slave, then he'd be forced to love you. And you hoped that if he was forced to love you that he'd grow to love you on his own."

"Shut up I said!" My fists clenched, my sanity starting to crack.

"And now you've blown it." My reflection was raving now, the same insane look on its face as was on my own. "You let Malik take his innocence, cause him pain, and used him to your advantage. And you know now that there's NO way in Heaven or Hell that Ryou would EVER love you!"

"SILENCE, FOOL!" I screamed, grabbing the mirror off the wall and throwing it as hard as I could against the door. The mirror shattered, and I swore I could hear my own insane laughter ringing through the bathroom.

"You can't escape yourself, Marik! You can't escape me!" A shadow of myself appeared before me; he was the one who was laughing. "You can't escape! Can't escape! Can't escape!" He grabbed my throat, and I suddenly was paralyzed, violent images flashing through my mind. "Can't escape the anger! Can't escape the hatred! Can't escape the violence of your own desires!" The images turned into wants and desires, embedding themselves deep into my subconscious. I started slipping away.... away from the light, away from the shadow holding me.... away from..... Ryou.......