Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
Sorry this chapter took a while. It's another long one. I hope you enjoy :)
Thank you EdwardsEternal!
Edward held my hand tightly as we walked down the icy front path to my truck. I pulled the keys from my pocket and held them out. Edward smiled, surprised.
"You're offering to let me drive?" he asked and I nodded.
"It's easier than having the argument."
"I wasn't going to argue," he smiled and opened the passenger door for me.
He climbed into the drivers' seat but stilled, staring, when he saw the dashboard.
"What happened to your stereo?" He was incredulous as he reached out slowly to trace the deep gouges around the hole where the stereo had been. He gently fingered the wires which hung loose in the otherwise empty space.
My cheeks reddened and I shifted awkwardly in my seat as I remembered what I did to Emmett and Rosalie's birthday gift
"It was about a week after you left. I ...I got angry. At everything. I kind of took it out on the stereo."
Edward's expression clouded and he nodded slowly - he seemed to understand. But now as I looked at the gaping hole, a heaviness settled deep in my stomach.
"They'd be hurt if they knew, wouldn't they?"
Edward nodded, still staring at the place where the stereo wasn't.
"I'll get a replacement," I said.
The corner of his mouth lifted in a sad smile.
"No. I'll buy it," he said softly.
"But I'm the one who destroyed it."
"Because of me."
I was about to protest but his eyes met mine and I could see he wanted to do this.
"Okay. Thank you."
I looked back at the hole. It had been a very fancy stereo.
"I probably couldn't afford a replacement anyway, could I?"
Edward shook his head as backed out of the driveway.
"Probably not."
The tyres crunched over the ground as we drove along the Cullens' driveway. There were advantages to having Edward drive my truck. I could sit right up close to him, curled into his side with his arm around me while his other hand steered. Just two fingers on the steering wheel, as usual. I thought of Tanya's comments about driving lessons and tensed. Edward turned to me.
"You alright?"
I nodded, pushing thoughts of the gorgeous strawberry blonde vampire out of my mind. Not yet - I'd deal with that part of the story later. And I wondered how Edward would react when he found out I'd deliberately gone looking for a vampire coven. Mm, yeah...later.
oo0oo
The house was dark and musty.
The windows were shuttered, the air was still and heavy and the shapes of the sheeted furniture loomed, strange and alien, in the darkness.
I shivered a little as we stood in the doorway and Edward rubbed his hands over my arms, trying to create warmth from the friction.
"Just give me a moment," he murmured and disappeared towards the kitchen.
A second later the metal window shutters began to lift. The glass wall at the back of the house let the light flood in and suddenly the room seemed warmer, the atmosphere more welcoming. I could almost feel the house sigh with relief.
Edward re-appeared, smiling.
"I've turned the thermostat up, too," he said. "The place should start warming up soon."
I nodded and looked around.
"So," I said. "Where do we start?"
Edward strode over to the sofa, grabbed the corner of the dust sheet and flicked it. The sheet lifted gracefully into the air, rising and ballooning and looking like a parachute. Then Edward twisted and jerked his wrist, there was a sound like a whip crack and the sheet flattened and snapped back towards him. Grinning, he caught it and bundled it up.
"Esme hates it when I do that inside," he looked slightly abashed but it didn't stop his smile. "It spreads the dust everywhere."
And he was right. There was a hazy cloud falling slowly to the floor and I could feel my nose twitching.
"But it's fun, right?"
He nodded, still smiling and I smiled back before I started sneezing. His smile faded.
"Sorry, I didn't think...,"
"It's okay," I sniffed and wrinkled my nose. "Really, it is. Come on, lets do the rest."
We spent the next few minutes uncovering the downstairs furniture.
Edward moved swiftly and easily, carefully removing sheets from the dining room furniture. Then he uncovered his piano, the coffee table and the living room cabinet.
And while he did all that I struggled with the two lounge chairs. The covers were awkward and unwieldy.
"These are heavy," I murmured, dragging the first sheet off, surprised by its thickness.
"They need to last a long time," Edward explained as he helped me. "We never know how long we'll be gone. It's usually decades."
We dumped the sheet on the floor and then, while I wasn't really looking, Edward picked up a scatter cushion from the sofa and threw it at me, frisbee style.
The cushion glanced off my shoulder and fell to the floor. I looked up, surprised, and Edward was smirking at me from across the room. My vampire was obviously feeling playful this morning.
Okay then...
"Surely you can do better than that, Cullen." I snarked, dusting off my shoulder. "It barely touched me."
He just shrugged and shoved his hands in his pocket.
I stooped to pick up the cushion and was immediately hit, square on the back of the head, by another.
"Hey!"
He was grinning now and I threw both cushions back at him, hard.
Edward ducked neatly, laughing, as one went completely wide and the other sailed over his head. While he scooped them up from the floor I ran to the other lounge chair, grabbed a new cushion and hurled it across the room at him. He caught it neatly, of course, and then I was squealing as all three cushions came flying at me, hard and fast, one after the other, bouncing off my arms that I'd crossed in front of my face.
"Not fair!" I yelled. "You've got super powers!"
He was chuckling as he came towards me. His hair was a mess and his eyes were bright and playful.
He looked gorgeous.
And he was going down.
The cushions had pooled at my feet and I smiled sweetly as I drew back my foot and kicked at them. Two went nowhere, they just sort of turned over, but the third one, surprisingly, arced through the air and hit Edward right in the stomach.
"Yes!" I punched the air. "Yes!"
Edward was trying not to laugh as he clutched his middle and dropped to his knees, face contorted in mock pain.
"I'm...hit," he gasped and rolled on the floor, holding himself, groaning dramatically.
I rolled my eyes, grinning, and went to him, kneeling by his side and pushing his hair out of his face. He blinked up at me, eyes wide and shining, beaming at me with a smile that would light up Seattle.
"You'll survive," I quipped and rested my hand over his on his stomach.
"Good," he smiled. "Because we've still got more to do."
I smiled back - I had the feeling he wasn't just talking about housework.
Edward bundled up all the dust sheets and carried them outside. He stood on the porch and shook them, one at a time, snapping and cracking, creating dust clouds.
When he was done he brought them inside and began folding them.
I helped, but by the time I'd folded one sheet Edward had a pile of neat, flat rectangles stacked on the coffee table. He gathered them up and took them to store in the linen closet on the first floor landing.
It was obviously a well-rehearsed routine.
"You've done this before."
"A few times," he smirked.
"Do you always leave the furniture behind when you move?"
"Yes." He came down the stairs, two at a time, and I giggled as he caught my hand and pulled me into the dining room with him.
"So, do you buy new furniture wherever you go?"
He let go of my hand and walked over to the low, dark-wood dresser.
"Not exactly. Only if we're moving somewhere new."
He bent down and opened the cupboard underneath.
"The family owns several houses. They're all furnished. The place in Ithaca is just one of them."
He stood up, holding Esme's stunning crystal vase, and he set it in the centre of the table. Esme always had fresh flowers around the place.
"How many houses do you have?"
"Apart from Ithaca we have a house in Denali, one in Rochester and one near Vancouver."
Edward began unstacking the chairs from the corner and setting them around the table. I followed, straightening the chairs as we went.
"And I still own my family home in Chicago."
I stopped and stared at him.
"Really?"
For some reason that surprised me.
"Yes," Edward answered, setting another chair on the floor. "And, er, Esme and Carlisle own an island off South America," he added quietly.
For a second I wondered if I'd heard right, but judging by the wary look on Edward's face, I had.
"An island?"
"Yes."
"A real tropical island?"
"Yes."
"Wow." I let that sink in. "Have you been there?"
"Just twice." He gave me that shy, crooked smile as he leant on the back of a chair. "It's like a private getaway for Esme and Carlisle, not really intended for family holidays." Then he gave just the subtlest arch of his eyebrow.
"Oh." I felt my face flush and warm and I stared down at the oak table.
"That's a lot of real estate," I murmured.
"We have to move around a lot," Edward dragged the final chair over from the corner. "We don't always use those houses, sometimes we just buy and sell as we need to, but it's good to have a familiar place to go, sometimes. Especially if we're making a quick getaway." He gave a wry smile and then looked around. His nose wrinkled and he frowned and I knew what he was thinking - the house still smelt musty.
"Maybe you should open some windows," I said but he seemed uncertain. "I'll be okay," I smiled. "This jacket's really warm."
He rolled his eyes then held up his finger, asking me to wait. Then he disappeared.
A second later he returned holding a purple cashmere blanket and he draped it around me.
"Here." He smoothed it over my shoulders. "If you get cold, tell me," he ordered.
He smiled and moved to the window, opening it wide. Then he walked into the living room and opened the glass doors that led out behind the house, and the windows that faced the front.
I looked around and the house seemed more itself now, with the light coming in and the furniture back in place and fresh air flowing through.
I ran my hand over the table. It was smooth, like glass, but my fingers found a rough spot, just near the edge.
There was a deep scratch marring the highly polished surface - a reminder of that night when the glass plates shattered and broke around me. I ran my fingers back and forth, feeling the rough edges against my skin.
"You were afraid." Edward's voice startled me and I looked up. He was very still, watching me closely from across the room. "I could see it in your face," he said. "I could smell it."
His voice was flat, almost detached. The light, playful mood from earlier had gone.
I swallowed, remembering my disastrous party.
"Yes." I admitted. "I was afraid."
My stomach twisted and I wondered what Edward would say because this was the first time I'd ever acknowledged the fear.
To either of us.
But my admission brought no reaction. Edward didn't speak or move. His face was impassive, but his fingers told the story when I saw them curl into his palms.
I hated that our morning was taking this direction now, but I also knew this was probably a conversation we needed to have.
"When I cut my finger and you were all staring at me…for just a second I thought…," My voice shook slightly as I remembered the eyes of seven vampires as they zeroed in on the blood that had beaded on the tip of my finger. "But then I remembered that you would never let anything happen to me." And those words were stronger.
Edward stayed very still and I wondered what he was thinking. His eyes stayed on mine, intense and deep. And then he shook his head.
"No," he said softly and a tenderness had crept into his words. "I would never let anything happen to you."
I smiled and he took a step towards me. Just one. His hands were loose at his sides as he regarded me carefully. I wondered if he was worried that I was afraid now - I knew the memory had spiked my heart rate a little. My mouth was dry and I licked my lips.
"Even when Jasper came at me, it was so fast I didn't have time to be scared…but I still knew you'd keep me safe."
Edward moved again. Slowly, smoothly, he came to the table, silently pulled out a chair and sat. He folded his arms in front of him, his long fingers clasped together and it reminded of that night in the restaurant in Port Angeles, when he'd saved me and we started to really talk.
I copied him, pulling out the chair opposite. In the silence the chair legs scraped over the floor and I curled one leg under me awkwardly as I sat.
"Everyone was so upset," I went on and Edward listened. "And it was because of me, and I wanted you all to know it was okay...that I was okay. I wasn't angry or scared, and I didn't blame anyone."
"You blamed yourself."
"I did," I sighed. "And I can see now how stupid that must have seemed. But at the time "
"You didn't want anyone to feel bad."
"No."
Edward nodded. His expression gave nothing away.
"Do you still blame yourself?" he asked.
I thought for a moment.
"I did blame myself for a long time. You know, if I hadn't been so clumsy and got a paper cut then none of this would have happened...that sort of thing." I tucked my hair behind my ears and then pulled the blanket tight around me. Those feelings still stung.
"I felt frail and weak and unworthy."
I heard Edward's soft gasp and watched his eyes narrow and darken.
"But no, I don't blame myself now," I added quickly. "It wasn't my fault, I realised that a while ago."
There was silence and Edward's eyes were still on me, searching, almost speculative, and with every second that passed my heart beat a little harder. I wondered where this was headed.
"I'd been letting myself hope," he said quietly after a moment, surprising me. His mask faded and he looked sad.
"The summer had been so good, and I started to think that maybe, somehow, things would work out for us, that maybe we could be a part of each other's lives. I wasn't sure how exactly, but I thought it was something we could work on and build together."
"The locket," I whispered and reached up to touch it. Edward nodded.
"It was a way of declaring my intentions, I suppose." He gave me a soft smile. "But I had to find a way of giving it to you that wouldn't be...upsetting."
I felt slightly sick as I imagined what my reaction would have been if he'd pulled out the Tiffany box in the car park of Forks High School.
"And ," he paused. "I still wasn't sure of your feelings. I couldn't really believe you'd want to be with someone like me."
"Edward ... ,"
"But at the party, all that hope vanished." I could hear the defeat in his voice, even now. He looked down at his hands.
"When did you decide to leave?"
He hesitated but lifted his eyes and met mine full on.
"When I carried you into the kitchen so Carlisle could treat you."
I felt that heaviness in my stomach again.
"So soon."
Edward exhaled sharply and shook his head.
"At the time it seemed like the only way," he said. "And I tried to console myself with the thought that you were so young,, this was a first love, a crush, and your feelings couldn't have been serious. I knew you'd never actually forget, but I believed you'd get over me." He dropped his eyes. "While I was gone I would imagine your future without me in it...college, career, marriage, children, grandchildren. It was supposed to make me feel better about my decision, thinking of the things I thought I was giving you, but the images tore at me."
His hands clawed into fists.
"I was consumed by jealousy and longing, but I thought it was what was best for you." His fists relaxed and he lifted one hand to pull through his hair. He shrugged a shoulder as he did so.
"Like I said yesterday...arrogant."
"You thought you were doing the right thing," I said. "You were being selfless."
"No," he shook his head firmly. "No. Selfless would have been giving you the opportunity to decide, knowing that you might not choose me."
He leant forward, folding his arms on the table and resting his chin on them. He looked up at me through his lashes and gave me an apologetic smile.
"I should have talked to you. I handled the whole situation appallingly."
I smiled back. "Yeah, it was pretty bad."
He nodded and unfolded his arms, stretching them out and letting his head flop with a heavy thunk on the table as he sighed deeply.
"I know," he muttered into the mahogany. "I know."
I smiled. The cool, speculative, controlled vampire from a few minutes ago was gone. Now he was a teenage boy, riddled with insecurity and angst. How was I ever going to keep up with him?
The teenager lifted his head.
"If we'd talked, maybe we could have worked things out." He pulled his hands through his hair now as he sat up. "If we'd been more honest with each other, instead of me lying to you and thinking I knew best and you saying what you thought I'd want to hear and trying to keep everyone happy."
I smirked. "That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?"
Edward gave a quick, sharp laugh. "Pretty much."
"So if we'd talked, what would you have said?"
He blew out a breath as his eyebrows lifted and he rubbed his hand over the back of his neck.
"With the benefit of hindsight, I would have told you that I love you, but I was scared." His face creased into a frown. "Gut wrenchingly scared."
He stared down at the table.
"And I'd tell you that I would do everything in my power to keep you safe, but there were no guarantees with someone like me. I'd probably suggest we have a break for a couple of days so you could have space to think and consider and …that if you wanted to end things I would understand. But the decision would be yours."
He lifted his eyes and looked at me - deep, dark pools of amber pain.
"What would you have said?" he whispered.
I leant forward, elbows on the table, and cupped my face in my hands.
"Also with the benefit of hindsight, I'd tell you that I love you, but I was scared, too. I'd tell you that I understood there were no guarantees, that had been made clear to me more than once. But there are no guarantees with anything in life. And I'd probably add something about the greater likelihood of getting hit by a bus."
Edward laughed a little and I smiled.
"And I'd tell you I didn't need a couple of days to think. Instead I'd tell you I understood your concerns, and I'd go along with any reasonable precautions that you thought were necessary, as long as we could be together."
"Really?" His eyes glinted and sparked. "You would?"
"I said reasonable precautions, Edward." I rolled my eyes. "Locking me in my room for the next eighty years doesn't count."
I laughed but Edward didn't. Instead he stared at me, blinking a couple of times.
"Eighty years?"
I waved a hand, dismissing his remark. I didn't want to get into that discussion right now.
"It's just an arbitrary number, for the sake of argument."
He frowned and nodded, but I could see something was going on in that massive brain of his.
I took a deep breath and looked around the room. From where I sat I could see into the living area and I saw something I hadn't noticed before.
"Where's the television?"
The space where the huge flatscreen once hung was empty. I could see the plaster was chipped and cracked.
"It broke."
"Broke? How?"
Edward shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"I broke it."
My eyes shot open.
"How did you do that? When?"
He exhaled sharply, leant his elbows on the table and cradled his head in his hands.
"That night, after I drove you home I came back here. Alice and Jasper were still gone, but I told everyone else we were leaving."
He lifted his eyes to look at me and I could see the regret and remorse. "There were arguments," he said simply. "Carlisle tried to understand but he said I was foolish if I thought leaving was the answer. He said it wouldn't work for either of us and that I was underestimating you."
"Hmm."
"I should have listened, I know, but I was unreachable."
He smiled sadly.
"Esme pleaded with me to change my mind. She was, well, not exactly in tears, but as good as. Emmett thought I was over-reacting. He said the situation was only as bad as I was planning to make it." He was quiet for a moment, frowning. "Emmett can be very perceptive sometimes," he murmured, almost to himself.
"And Rosalie ... ," he hesitated, frowning again and I could see he was debating with himself. It took him a moment before he continued.
"Rosalie told me I should have left you alone in the first place. She said if I was so bent on playing the tragic hero then I should do it without dragging everyone else along with me. She wanted to know why she should pay for my mistakes."
"Oh." Rosalie obviously wasn't one to hold back.
"She said the whole family was being held hostage by my over-inflated ego and erratic, unstable emotions."
"Ouch."
"It was classic Rosalie," he shrugged. "Although there was some truth in what she said, but I was in no mind to hear it."
He was quiet again as he stared at me and I could see the memory of that night in the tight lines of his face.
"So, what happened with the flatscreen?"
"I ripped it off the wall and tore it in half."
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head.
"Ripped...are you serious?"
He nodded slowly.
"I was angry."
"Because of what they said?"
"No. It was everything."
He sighed and shifted, leaning back against his chair now.
"I knew that I was going to leave, and that I would lie to you, and I despised myself for it. And I despised the world and everything in it and I just I just ," he struggled.
"You destroyed the television set," I finished for him.
Edward nodded slowly. "It sounds stupid and lame when you say it like that," he said and then shrugged. "Probably because it was stupid and lame, but at the time...," he trailed off.
"Emmett was furious," he added absently, staring past me out the window. "He was yelling, calling me a fucking drama queen and demanding to know what the flatscreen had ever done to me."
He winced suddenly and looked back down at the table, frowning now and avoiding my eyes.
"I'm very sorry," he muttered. "I shouldn't have said that. Forgive me."
In truth, I was surprised to hear Edward swear, even if he was only quoting, but I wasn't offended. But now as I watched him I could see he'd added mortification to the pain he was reliving and I decided that enough was enough.
"That's okay," I reached for his hand. "I've heard the word before. I know what a drama queen is."
He looked up sharply, almost startled. I winked at him, and smiled.
For a second I thought my joke had fallen flat. Edward just stared at me as if I'd gone mad. I held my breath. He blinked a couple of times, and then I saw it - a flicker of humour danced across his face. I felt a giggle bubbling up inside me, but I bit my lip, trying to hold it back - I wasn't sure enough yet.
I watched the corner of Edward's mouth twitch and he started to smile. My giggle got bolder and it burst out as Edward began to laugh.
And it was real, full-throated, head-thrown-back, eyes-screwed-shut type laughter.
It was beautiful.
"I thought Emmett...was going to rip...my arms off," he gasped between breaths as I laughed along with him. This felt so good.
"You really...do have a...flair for the dramatic...don't you?" I wheezed.
"Perhaps I do...," Edward's shoulders were full-on shaking now. "But tell me, Bella...what condition...is the car stereo in?"
I nearly fell off my chair as the tears rolled down my cheeks.
But these weren't sad tears, they weren't even happy tears...there wasn't anything happy about pain so bad it brought destruction. I didn't really understand why we were laughing, but this felt good, and maybe we needed the laughter as much as we needed the tears.
"I'll have to replace it," Edward gasped after a moment. "Or Emmett will have my head. Literally."
At that point he actually snorted and that set me off again.
I sat, knees pulled up, hugging myself, trying to stop my ribs from hurting. Edward's elbows were on the table, his head in his hands as his whole body shook.
This went on for a while. Our laughs would escalate, reach a painful peak, then start to die down. We'd sigh, thinking we were done, and then one of us would make eye contact with the other and we'd start again.
"Please stop," I gasped after a while. "Please."
It was such sweet, sweet torture. My ribs ached and burned and my throat hurt. My cheeks stung from the salt, but I felt so much lighter.
"Come on," Edward grinned as I wiped the last of the tears off my face. He stood up and came around to my side of the table, pulling my chair back slightly so I could stand up. He was still chuckling.
"Are we going to buy another flatscreen now?" I giggled.
"Not today," he said, taking my hand and kissing each of my knuckles. "That will need to be a special order. But we can do something about your piece of destruction." He leant down and kissed me softly on the lips. "Lets go to Port Angeles and buy your truck a new stereo."
The stereo was even more expensive than I'd expected but I bit my tongue. Instead I went to look at the novelty gear knobs while Edward discussed installation with the sales clerk and handed over his credit card.
"Do you want to go back home?" he asked, appearing behind me and kissing the top of my head. "Or would you like to get something to eat, it's lunchtime."
I was enjoying being out with him and I wasn't ready to go home, so I voted for food.
"And then I want to show you this new store," I said, cringing at a perspex knob with a tarantula set in it. "It's called Books, Beans and Beats. I think you'll really like it and I promised myself that when I found you I'd take you there."
I smiled up at him and as he looked down at me his answering grin was so beautiful, so blinding, it felt like my heart was on fire.
"Sounds good," he whispered softly and kissed the top of my head again. His lips lingered a little longer this time.
Lunch was a quick vegetarian wrap and then we headed for the opposite end of town.
"It's cold," Edward said as we set out. "Do you want me to get the truck?"
"No," I shook my head. "Lets walk."
So we walked. My gloved hand was clasped in Edward's and together they were nestled in the pocket of his jacket. Despite the cold we walked slowly, enjoying being together in this normal, everyday sort of way.
"Boring enough?" he asked suddenly and I laughed.
"Yep."
His hand squeezed around mine and the smile on his face stayed there as we walked from one end of the main street to the other.
Inside Books, Beans and Beats it was warm and I pulled off my scarf and gloves and shoved them in my bag. I took a deep breath, inhaling the aroma of freshly ground coffee.
"Do you like it?" I asked and Edward shrugged.
"I've smelt worse." Then he leant down and nuzzled my neck. "And I've smelt better."
I giggled and swatted him on the shoulder. He grinned and pulled back.
"Come on," he said. "Show me around."
We bypassed the coffee shop and headed for the book section, looking at new releases, browsing through the classics.
We passed the magazine racks on the way to the music section and I explained how I got inspiration for the Vogue subscription from Jessica and her Teen Vogue fascination and Edward laughed. .
He put his arms around me, his hands on the small of my back as he pulled me in close.
"But you weren't satisfied with waiting for the subscription to arrive?"
"No," I shook my head.. "There were too many variables – it could get delayed, or lost in the mail I didn't want all my eggs in one basket." I rested my head against Edward's chest.
"That's why I asked Callum for help," I said shyly. I felt my cheeks redden but Edward's arms squeezed around me and I smiled.
"You were nervous about asking him, I could see it in his thoughts."
"I was. I was terrified he was going to think I was a stalker or a psycho or something," I mumbled into his jacket. "But then I figured you were worth any possible ridicule or restraining orders."
He chuckled again and I felt his cool fingers under my chin. Gently, he tilted my face, bringing his lips down to brush softly over mine. I sighed when he released me.
"We were just looking for your cell number at first," I continued as I snuggled back against him. "I just wanted to call you. That's why I gave him your name, well, names, and your old phone number." I sucked in a breath. "I really am sorry about that."
"Don't be." He bent his head to kiss me again.
"Where's your phone?" he whispered against my lips.
I was still a little fuzzy from the kiss and it took me a second to register what he'd said. Then I reached into my pocket and handed him my cell.
Edward punched at the keypad a few times and then held it up for me to see the screen.
Edward
0419 74X 74X
I bit my lip and nodded, not quite trusting my voice.
He slipped the phone back into my pocket and pulled me into his arms.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered.
"I know," I whispered back as I sniffed against his chest.
We spent the next hour browsing through the music, laughing and teasing about each other's choices and discussing the relevance of bubblegum pop.
"It has no heart or soul," Edward argued. "It's mindless, without any merit."
"I know, I agree with you. to a point. But some of it's okay and I'm just saying it must have some merit or it wouldn't be so popular."
"Lauren Mallory is popular, Bella."
Hmm, he had a point there.
His eyes scanned the song titles on the latest Number One Hits of Summer cd he was holding.
"All you need is a few key words like love, and you, and the obligatory baby…," he actually shuddered. "Some ooohs and aaaahs. Throw in a basic drum beat, some repetitive percussion and out comes the next number one hit." He gave the offending disc a contemptuous look before dropping it back in its slot.
"Edward you're such a music snob."
He shrugged. "I know what I like."
I snickered and wrapped my arms around his waist. I'd missed him.
We finally made our way to the cashier with a courtesy basket full of cd's, making up for the last three months when neither of us could bear to listen to music.
"You've made some really interesting selections, here." The sales clerk smiled and simpered at Edward as she started ringing up the cd's. She was all blonde hair, big eyes and long lashes and seemed completely oblivious to me, standing right in front of her, holding the hand of the man who'd made the interesting selections. I ignored her. I knew this was something I'd have to get used to again.
Edward gave her a bland smile and his fingers tightened around mine.
"Oh, I love this band." She rang up the next cd. "Have you ever seen them play live?"
She leant forward a little. The top buttons of her shirt were open so now she was giving quite the display of cleavage.
I bristled, angry and incredulous. Edward's eyes stayed very deliberately on hers as he wound his arm tightly around me, bringing me into his side.
"No," he said coldly and she was momentarily derailed by his look and his icy tone. After a bit of fluster her eyes slid to me and I glared, staring her down. She straightened up again, turned back to her task and stayed silent.
Edward leant in and kissed my temple.
"I'm sorry," he whispered at my ear and I shrugged.
"It's okay," I whispered back, smiling. Edward studied my face for a second and I could see his relief when he saw that I really was okay. He also seemed a little surprised. I reached up on my toes and he lowered his head, curious, as I whispered.
"She can flirt all she wants...but I know you're mine."
His face broke into a brilliant smile and his eyes lit up with obvious joy at my words.
"Yes," he mouthed. "Yours." Then he leant in close again. "I liked the death-stare," he whispered and his fingers squeezed my waist.
"That'll be two hundred and seventy nine dollars." The sales clerk's voice was sour now.
Edward handed over his card without looking at her and I allowed myself a smug smile as I realised that a few months ago I would have compared myself to the flirtatious blonde and come up wanting.
Not now.
I still didn't think I was beautiful, but it didn't matter. I was what Edward wanted...and I wasn't about to argue with him.
It had started to snow while we were inside.
"Will you wait here while I go and get the truck?" he looked out through the glass front of the shop. "I'll be quick."
I nodded and held the carrier bag while Edward stepped out the door onto the pavement. He stilled for a moment and pulled the collar of his jacket up high around his neck. He grinned and winked at me as he cupped his bare hands to his face and blew into them before rubbing them together briskly and shoving them in his pockets. I knew the action was all for effect and grinned back. Then he turned away and began a human-paced jog down the street towards the truck.
He was only gone a few minutes and then I could hear the rumble of my engine. I stepped through the doors and Edward leapt out of the truck, still grinning. His hair was damp and dusted with snow, just like the day before when he'd appeared in Charlie's back yard. But now his eyes were bright, shining with a happiness that echoed my own as he swept me up and twirled me around before handing me into my seat.
Then strode around to the drivers' side and climbed in.
He'd already turned the heat on and it didn't take too long for the cabin to warm up.
"I think you need new suspension," he said as we began the slow journey home. "And an engine overhaul."
I rolled my eyes and waited for him to criticize and offer to buy me that sporty little Audi he was always talking about, but he didn't.
"Maybe Rosalie could take a look at it for you," he murmured instead as the engine whined and complained.
"Um, maybe."
He let go of my hand so he could tuck me under his arm. He began to sing softly and I closed my eyes, leaning into him, listening, reveling in the warmth and love that came from him. Reveling in his happiness. And mine. I thought again how funny it was that his icy body seemed to emanate such warmth.
"I should speak to Charlie tonight," he said suddenly. My eyes blinked open.
"Er, okay. After dinner? Give me a chance to ease him into things?" My stomach was knotting already at the thought.
Edward's lips pulled tight and he nodded.
I wondered how my dad was going to react and my stomach clenched tighter. Everything was bright and happy right now in our little bubble, here in the cabin of my truck, but there were still some hurdles to jump.
We passed the Forks welcome sign and were about to turn into Charlie's street when Edward tensed.
"What is it?"
His eyes fluttered closed and a look of defeat crossed his features.
"Look behind us," he said and I turned. Through the back window I could see Charlie's cruiser.
"Oh, crap," I muttered and turned back to Edward. This wasn't how I planned things to go. "Did he know? Was he following us?"
"No," Edward shook his head and I could see the concentration on his face now. "He was heading home early to spend some time with you."
"Oh." I felt surprised and guilty all at once.
"And he's wondering who you're with," he added, exhaling sharply and pulling his hand through his hair.
"There's no way I can disappear now without raising questions," he muttered. He grabbed my hand and squeezed as we stopped out the front of the house. The cruiser pulled into the driveway.
"Ready?" Edward asked and his eyes had that defeated look again.
I bit my lip. "No."
Edward gave me a weak smile. "Me neither."
Charlie was waiting, curious, as we got out of the truck.
"Bella? What's …. "
He stopped then, looking like he'd been punched as his disbelieving eyes travelled over Edward.
"Chief Swan," Edward said politely and I could hear the nerves in his voice. I reached for his hand. Charlie saw and his face darkened.
"What's he doing here?" he snapped.
"Dad, we...," But Charlie didn't give me a chance to finish.
"What are you doing here?" he turned on Edward.
"Chief Swan, I …. ,"
"Dad, please …. ,"
"Get in the house Bella."
"Dad, no! Can we just…"
"I said get in the house, Bella! NOW!"
"No! Dad you can't…""BELLA!"
"NO!"
"Did you even go to school today?" Charlie glared at me and suddenly I was stammering.
"I…no. I didn't…I was going to tell you…I needed…I was tired after Jacksonville."
"And it had nothing to do with him, huh?" He jerked his thumb in Edward's direction.
"No! Well, yes, but not entirely, I…,"
"Go inside, Bella! We'll talk about school later."
"Please, Dad…,"
"Bella," Edward said softly. "Perhaps you should go inside like your father asks."
"Don't you tell her what to do!" Charlie shouted and Edward bowed his head. Then Charlie glared at me again.
"I said go inside, Bella." His voice was quieter this time but he shot another murderous look at Edward.
My mouth was dry and my throat was tight. My heart pounded and my stomach was a tight ball of anxiety as I turned and dragged myself into the house.
I hurried up to my room and leant out the window, watching down on them below. I caught the brief flicker of Edward's gaze as he noticed me.
"What exactly is going on?" Charlie's voice was low and frightening and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
The remorse was clear in Edward's expression but he squared his shoulders and prepared to speak.
"Chief Swan, my family is returning to Forks. They'll arrive tomorrow, but I've come ahead to see Bella, to ask her forgiveness for leaving the way I did, and to ask if she'll take me back."
There.
He'd laid it all out in one simple sentence.
Charlie was silent, watching Edward closely. My father's face was turning a dangerous shade of red and his fists were clutched at his sides.
"Just like that?" he ground out. "Your family's coming back and you want to pick up where you left off? Like my daughter is some sort of convenience?" He spat the words at Edward.
"No, not at all," Edward responded quickly. "Bella is why I'm coming back. Being apart didn't work for either of us. But I understand the damage I've done and I know ,"
"Do you?" Charlie snapped.
Edward seemed momentarily surprised and Charlie shook his head.
"You don't understand anything. You know nothing. What are you? Seventeen, eighteen?"
"Eighteen, sir."
"Eighteen, huh?"
"Yes."
"Eighteen." The steel in Charlie's voice was chilling. "Well, Edward, when you have a teenage daughter of your own, and you've listened to her cry and scream in her sleep every night for three months straight, then you come and tell me you understand."
I cringed and dropped my head into my hands. I didn't know what images Edward could see in Charlie's mind but suddenly he took a step back, his face twisted in pain. But Charlie hadn't finished.
"And then you tell me if you'd let the boy who did that to her come back into her life again."
"Dad, stop!" Charlie's head snapped up to look at me.
"I told you to get inside!"
"I am inside! Dad, please stop it. Edward and I are already working all this out. If you let us ,"
"You're working it out? You're not the only one he hurt, Bella!"
Oh.
Charlie's comment pulled me up.
"Dad, I'm sorry."
"Your mother and I have… ," he stopped, trying to hold on to his composure. "We've been out of our minds with worry."
Edward took a deep breath and when he raised his face I saw the grief in his eyes.
"I am so very sorry, Chief Swan."
"Yeah?" Charlie whirled back to Edward. "You should be."
There was silence. Edward's head slumped and he was staring down at the ground now. Charlie was glaring at him and I watched the two of them closely – neither one moved, neither one spoke.
Edward seemed broken, beaten down and my heart twisted and burned for him. But my father was hurt and angry and I couldn't blame him for feeling that way. I was torn and conflicted and didn't know what to do. My fingers clawed at the window sill.
After a moment Charlie let out a sharp breath and rested his hands on his hips. He turned to look up at me and he seemed older somehow. But resigned. We held each other's gaze for a moment.
"I love him, Dad," I said softly.
And suddenly all the air, and all the fight, seemed to go out of Charlie. He bowed his head. Eons passed as I held my breath and then finally my father spoke.
"You'd better come inside," he said to Edward gruffly. "Before Bella falls out the window."
I sat on the stairs trying to listen to the conversation between my father and my boyfriend. I could hear muffled voices coming from the living room and I supposed that was a good thing because it meant no-one was shouting.
Part of me resented being kept out of things, this involved me, too, after all. But part of me also recognized that Charlie needed to do this.
A moment later Edward's shadow moved across the wall of the hall and then he appeared at the foot of the stairs. His face was strained as he walked up the first two steps towards me.
"Your father would like to see us together," he said softly and held out his hand to me.
Charlie was standing by the fireplace, arms crossed tight over his chest as he stared at the carpet. He looked up when we walked in and Edward let go of my hand.
Charlie grimaced and lifted a hand, rubbing his palm along his jaw.
My world had shrunk down to this room, this moment. I stood, anxious and wary, my stomach in tight notes, waiting for my father to speak. I could see he was conflicted and struggling.
"Bella," he started after a moment. "You're eighteen and legally I can't stop you seeing anyone you choose to. And that's unfortunate." His eyes narrowed slightly and he glared at Edward. "But I can control who comes into my house." My throat was dry again. This wasn't going to be good.
"Now Edward here has explained his side of things to me," Charlie continued, folding his arms over his chest again. "It seems he thought he had your best interests at heart, but I've made it clear I didn't like what he did or how he did it." He glowered at Edward. "But he's just about fallen over himself to convince me how much he loves you, and how undeserving he is." Charlie cleared his throat. "And I'd say I have to agree with him on that last part."
The knot in my stomach tightened. My throat got drier.
Charlie rubbed his hand over his face again.
"But you're obviously happy to see him," he said begrudgingly. "You have colour in your cheeks. You haven't looked this good since he left."
I felt Edward wince beside me and reached out to link my fingers with his.
"I am happy. Really happy."
Charlie let out a sigh and nodded. Then he threw his hands up in the air.
"Okay then," he grumbled.
"O...okay? That's it? You're okay with us being together?" I could hear the disbelief in my voice. I took a quick look at Edward.
"No, I'm not okay with it," Charlie snapped. "But I don't want you sneaking around behind my back." He took a deep breath. "Or moving out," he added quietly.
Then Charlie let out a long weary breath. "So, yeah, okay see each other if you have to, but no more missing school." He pointed a finger at me, using it to punctuate his words.
"I won't."
"Not unless you're at death's door, do you hear me?"
Edward flinched at Charlie's choice of words and I squeezed his fingers.
"I hear you, Dad."
"And while you're living here there'll be no visitors after ten o'clock on a school night." He looked pointedly at Edward. "And if you're out you have to be home by ten. Midnight on weekends."
"Okay."
"All your homework has to be up to date."
"Yes."
"Make sure you're getting your college applications in."
"I am."
"And see your other friends, too. Don't just limit yourselves to...each other."
"Um, sure. We can do that."
"Good."
He turned to Edward.
"And if I think you're getting in the way of her schoolwork, I won't be so generous with my hospitality."
"I understand, Chief Swan." Edward's voice was firm and sure.
"Good." Charlie took a step closer, staring Edward straight in the eye. There was just a flicker of sudden apprehension in my father's expression, but then he set his jaw and his eyes hardened as he spoke.
"And while you're understanding things, understand this...if you hurt her again, you're life won't be worth living."
Charlie pulled back slowly.
"I know that," Edward said quietly.
Charlie nodded. Then he picked up the tv remote and I knew we were dismissed.
I grabbed Edward's hand and we headed for the hall. I tried to steer him towards the stairs, and my room, but he resisted and moved instead to the front door.
"I think it's probably best if I leave."
"Are you okay?" I ran my fingers over his cheek.
He nodded and smiled softly. "Yes. You?"
"I'm good, relieved."
Edward nodded.
"You won't be gone long?" I asked.
"Just for a while. I'll be back when Charlie's gone to sleep."
I nodded, my heart already anticipating his absence. I wanted to suggest he just pretend to leave then climb back into my room, but I knew he was right.
"What will you do?"
"I'll install your stereo in the truck, then I'll run home and take the sheets off the upstairs furniture. Make some calls and try and order a replacement flatscreen."
He bent down and kissed me softly.
"It's just a few hours," he whispered.
"I know." But my heart was already anticipating his absence.
He walked back into the living room, said a formal goodnight to my father, and then he was gone.
oo0oo
I climbed upstairs to bed a little after eight o'clock. I'd made dinner and Charlie had actually offered to help. He'd put on the pasta and grated the cheese while I made the sauce for the meat and chopped the vegies. We'd talked a little about general things, the weather, fishing, the new motel being built on the outskirts of town.
We ate quietly, Charlie seemed thoughtful, but he didn't mention Edward and neither did I.
After the washing up was done and the kitchen was cleaned Charlie called Billy to make arrangements for some weekend activity and I headed upstairs.
I sat on my bed and called Angela to find out what I'd missed at school. Two new assignments and a pop quiz, as it turned out.
Then I called Callum - we really needed to talk.
"Swan!" he practically shouted down the phone at me. He was excited and full of questions.
"So how did you end up contacting him?"
"I didn't. He just came back."
I filled him in on Edward's decision to return and Callum was, surprisingly, silent.
"So he was coming back anyway? You could have just sat around doing nothing and still got the same result."
"Um, yeah, looks like it." But really, I wasn't so sure about that. "But listen, thanks for everything you did to help me. I really...,"
"Yeah, it's okay," he cut me off. "But what's with the mind reading thing?" he demanded suddenly. "I can't believe you didn't bother to mention that little bit of information."
I winced. "I know, I'm sorry. I would have got around to it before you met him, I just didn't expect you to turn up like that."
"Yeah, I guess."
There was a beat of silence.
"Apparently your thoughts are very vivid," I said and Callum groaned.
"But Edward's okay with everything, isn't he? He seemed alright when I left yesterday."
"Yeah, he was a bit shocked by the Vigilante Vampire, but he's good." Better than good. "But listen, I want to hear about Leah."
"Leah...," Callum actually sighed and I laughed. "Leah is amazing. The second I saw her...just amazing."
I leant back against the pillows, smiling as Callum talked. He was obviously head over heels.
"And she doesn't mind that you were helping me find Edward? I mean, you know, the whole mortal enemy thing?"
"Yeah, well I think the tribe sees Edward a bit differently since he helped Seth. I don't think they're about to invite him over for Thanksgiving or anything, but he's not the enemy anymore."
That made me smile.
"And they know Edward's back. I didn't say anything, well, just to Leah, but they already knew...the wolves picked up his scent yesterday."
I hadn't really given the pack any thought, but it made sense that they knew.
"Did you know he stinks?" Callum asked.
"What?" Where did that come from?
"I couldn't smell it when I met him, but the wolves all talk about it. It's supposed to be pretty bad."
I rolled my eyes.
"He doesn't stink," I said. "He smells beautiful."
Callum snickered. "I'm sure he does. Okay, I gotta go," he said suddenly.
"Is Leah there?"
"Just arrived." I could hear his grin. "You know it's pretty cool having a girlfriend who can climb through your upstairs window."
I laughed. "Say hi for me."
"I will."
"Goodnight Callum."
"G'night Swan."
I hung up, grabbed my toiletries bag and headed for the bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later I was sitting in my bed reading.
Or trying to.
I was missing Edward and I kept watching the clock and listening out for Charlie's snores from the next room. But even though I was anxious for Edward's return I was kind of glad to have some time alone to think over the last couple of days.
Edward was back.
He was really back.
And he was staying.
I hugged myself, grinning, as joy bubbled through me. Joy, excitement, anticipation...
My feelings had been all over the place, so many emotions in such a short space of time. And today...my heart felt like it had been strapped to a rocket and sent hurtling through space, unchecked and out of control.
I took a few deep breaths.
He was really back.
And he was different.
He seemed more open, not so closed off. I realised that before I'd often felt distant from him, like sometimes he'd been keeping me at arms length...keeping me from knowing him too closely. But it didn't feel that way now.
He was really back.
And I was different.
I thought about Callum's words ...
You could have just sat around and done nothing and still got the same result.
No, it wouldn't have been the same result, because I wouldn't have been who I was now.
I wondered what Edward would have come back to if I hadn't found my birthday gifts, if I hadn't met Tanya and Kate and Callum. If I hadn't known about the Vigilante Vampire.
I understood more now.
And I wasn't the insecure, weak, fragile little human I once thought I was.
For a moment I wondered if Edward's new openness was as much a reflection of my new confidence as it was his own introspection.
I could almost think our time apart had been a good thing.
Almost.
I looked at the clock again.
Ten fifteen.
From the next room I heard the first snuffle of Charlie's snoring.
A second later Edward climbed through my window.
He appeared with a wary smile and windswept hair falling into his eyes.
"Hi," he whispered and sort of pounced onto the bed.
"Hi," I smiled and reached out for him. "How long have you been out there waiting?"
He cocked his head a little, eyes shining now, obviously glad to see me happy.
"About twenty minutes. How are things?"
"Things are good." I grabbed his hands. "You're like ice. Well, icier than usual."
"Just a minute," he said and disappeared through the door. He returned a moment later and cupped my face with his hands.
I grinned.
"The hot water tap?"
He grinned too and nodded as he climbed back onto the bed beside me. I put my arms around him and he curled into me.
"Furniture uncovered?"
"Yes. And floors vacuumed. Kitchen counters and bathroom surfaces wiped down."
"You vacuumed? And wiped?" I snorted and he looked hurt. He stared up at me with big eyes.
"Why does that surprise you?"
"I…I don't know," I shrugged. "I just can't picture it."
"There are always chores when we move back into a house," he said simply.
I supposed there were.
"Flatscreen ordered?" I asked.
"Yes. But it's coming from Korea so it won't arrive for another month."
"What will Emmett do?" I smirked and so did Edward.
"He'll have to wait. Or, I could buy a temporary replacement, the quality just won't be the same." He snickered. "The Super Mario Brothers won't be in quite such high definition."
"Poor Emmett," I chuckled.
"Mm, poor Emmett. What are you reading?"
Edward lifted my book.
"To Kill a Mocking Bird," I answered, even though he could see the title. "It's on our reading list for English this semester."
"Are you enjoying it?" He flicked through a few pages and put it back down on my lap.
"Yeah, it's really a powerful story."
"It is," he agreed. "I'm glad you're doing your homework."
I rolled my eyes. "You and Charlie, both."
He chuckled. "How is Charlie? You said things were good."
I scrunched up my face and shrugged.
"He was pretty quiet over dinner, but that's normal. He's kind of begrudgingly accepted things, I think."
Edward nodded. "I think that's the best we can hope for right now."
"I suppose so," I yawned.
A heavy tiredness was stealing over me now. I yawned again and Edward took my book and set it on the bedside table. He made sure my bookmark was in place.
My eyes started to close and I wriggled further down on my pillow. Edward pulled the quilt up high around my shoulders before he kicked off his shoes and climbed in with me. I snuggled against him as he reached over me and switched off the lamp.
"I think Charlie gets it, though." I mumbled as Edward gently pulled me closer. His fingers trailed along my arms, his bare toes stroked over my feet. Soft, cool touches that sent warmth singing through my veins. His arms wound around me, holding me close.
"He knows you're going to be around." I sighed sleepily.
"Forever," Edward whispered as his lips brushed over the back of my neck.
The next day dragged.
Edward kissed me goodbye and disappeared through my window just after Charlie woke. My father hung around and only left for work when I left for school and I had the feeling this was how things were going to be for a while.
School seemed to last forever. I collected my missed homework assignments and spent the study period actually studying. I talked to my friends, side-stepped Jessica's invitation to go bowling Friday night, wrote notes, listened to lectures and watched the clock, waiting for three thirty.
Edward was there when I got home. He ran through the woods at the back of the house and was knocking on the back door as I came through the front.
He followed me into the living room. He hugged me, told me the day had been long without me, but insisted I do my homework before we got distracted with anything else.
"No kiss?" I pouted and pulled him down onto the sofa with me. He touched my bottom lip with his thumb.
"Later."
"That's not fair."
He leant in close. Very close. I could feel his breath on my cheek, my jaw, the corner of my mouth. I opened my lips as my eyes fluttered closed.
"Think of it as an incentive," he whispered and shifted, giving me a quick peck on the forehead before he let me go.
I grumbled and glared while he lolled on the sofa, looking up at me through long lashes and holding out my Calculus book.
Hmph. I had to admit, Edward had pretty good bargaining power.
"When does your family arrive?" I grumbled as I took the book.
"Around nine o'clock." He held out a pencil.
"At the airport?"
"No, at home."
I smiled now. "So I'll get an hour with them before I have curfew."
Edward nodded, smiling too. "And if you get your homework finished before Charlie gets home, you'll get me, too."
He winked and I gasped, shocked. Yep, fantastic bargaining power.
He stayed until Charlie got in from work.
Edward was polite but Charlie's greeting was gruff and I wondered how long things would be this way.
I cooked dinner and Charlie offered to help again. While he peeled potatoes he asked about school and I told him about my homework and assignments. He nodded and seemed pleased.
I asked him about his day and he told me a funny story about rescuing a cat stuck up a chimney.
After dinner, when the kitchen was clean and Charlie headed for the living room, I let him know I was going over to the Cullen house. He nodded sharply without looking away from the television.
"Ten o'clock, Bella."
"Yes, dad." I grabbed my jacket and keys.
I was excited as I drove along the Cullens' driveway. I couldn't wait to see his family, I'd missed them so much.
The house looked so different when it appeared through the trees. The curtains were open and the lights were on, making everything look warm and welcoming. Edward had swept down the porch and the steps, the snow and slush had been cleared away - he'd obviously been busy.
He came running down the porch steps and swept me out my truck and into his arms.
"Missed you," he murmured as he peppered kisses over my face and neck and I laughed.
"You only saw me two hours ago."
"Mm hm. Missed you."
I laughed again. "I missed you, too."
He hugged me harder.
"And I was worried," he mumbled into my hair.
"Worried?" I pulled back to see his face. Mm, sheepish Edward.
"I've been worried that your truck was going to break down and you'd be stuck. And it's dark and cold and you'd be alone."
"The truck is fine, Edward."
"Mm, I know. And you have your phone if you need to call me." He sighed. "I'm trying," he whispered.
And that surprised me.
"Trying?"
Come on," he said, suddenly, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the house.
He'd put flowers in the vases and hung the paintings and prints back on the wall. The fancy candles that Alice loved were in place around the room and there was, indeed, a flat screen. The purple cashmere blanket was thrown casually over the arm of the sofa and fire burned in the fireplace.
I sighed...it looked fantastic. It looked like home again.
"You've done a great job, Edward."
"It looks okay. Esme and Alice will probably re-arrange things. No doubt I've put the candles in the wrong order."
He rolled his eyes and I laughed, linking my fingers with his.
"Is that the temporary screen?" I asked.
"Yes."
"That was fast."
He shrugged and I knew he'd probably paid a small fortune to get it delivered here today. I looked around me.
"You don't usually do it all yourself, do you? Setting up the house?"
"No," he laughed and started pulling me towards the stairs. "We all have our jobs. I do dust sheets."
"Yeah, I noticed you seemed quite experienced in that department."
"Just a bit," he snickered. "But I thought, since I'm here, I might as well do it all. Especially as it was because of me that we left in the first place."
We were walking up the stairs towards his bedroom. He pushed open the door. Some of the music we'd bought the day before was playing on his stereo. Its sound was soft and rich, warm and welcoming, and the room looked like he'd never left.
The wide black couch. Books, music, all lined up on their shelves. The old globe of the world still sat on the large, wooden desk with the dark green leather inlay. The battered old silver trophy cup that he used to hold his car keys. The photo of us at prom. The baseball bat leaning against the wall in the corner.
"You really didn't take anything with you," I murmured, more to myself, but Edward answered.
"I left as soon as I said goodbye to you," he said quietly.
The thick gold rug was still on the floor and in a graceful move he folded his legs beneath him and sat down. I went to join him.
"You didn't come back here at all?"
"No." He leant back on his hands and stretched his legs out in front of him. I just got back in the car and drove. I went to Denali, to the other vampire family there. I left the car there." His face creased into a frown. "I should decide what to do about that."
I felt my blood heat as it pushed through my veins. Okay, he'd mentioned Alaska and the Denali's, so I guess this was a good opening to tell bring up my visit with Tanya. I took a breath, here we go ...
"I went to Alaska to look for you."
I picked at the wool pile of the rug. His eyes were this colour sometimes.
"You what?"
I gave a half shrug and then launched into my story.
"I looked up Denali on the internet, but it wasn't a town, it was a national park with lots of towns in it. I didn't know which one you'd lived in, so I asked around at school." I kept my eyes down. "Mike said he heard you and Alice and Jasper talking about Anderson when you were in the store one day. So I decided to try there."
Edward was silent. I hazzarded a look and his eyes had widened. I saw him swallow...twice, and I wondered what he was thinking.
"Um, anyway, I knew you'd lived with another vampire family there and I thought even if you weren't there, they might know where you or your family were. Or how to make contact."
I shrugged. "So I cashed in one of the Florida tickets Carlisle and Esme gave me and I flew to Alaska."
When I looked up Edward's eyes were dark and his skin was paler than usual...almost ashen.
His eyes closed slowly. He spoke through clenched teeth.
"Bella, are you telling me that you deliberately went looking for a coven of vampires?"
"Um, yes?"
He dropped his head into his hands.
"Edward...?"
"Do you realise how dangerous that was?"
Oh no...the calm voice.
He was angry.
"Well, yes...and no."
"Yes and no?" His head snapped up."What were you thinking? Seriously, tell me Bella, what were you thinking?"
He eyes blazed. His fury was almost palpable.
"It seemed like the best lead I had to find you and I knew they were vegetarians like you. I knew they wouldn't hurt me."
He stood up, moving so fast I didn't really see, and he started pacing. Dragging one hand through his hair, he made imploring, open-palmed gestures with the other.
"You can't know that," he snapped, glaring at me. "They're vegetarians but they're still vampires. And for as long as you are human, my kind will be a risk to you. When I think of what could have happened... "
He was shaking his head now as he paced and I started to feel angry. I wanted to yell and tell him he was over-reacting, nothing did happen. I wanted to tell him I was an adult and if I wanted to go looking for vampires I could. I'd been confident that the Denali vampires wouldn't hurt me and I'd been right.
Well, that's what old Bella would have done. And now, if I was honest, I had to admit Edward was right. What I had done was dangerous.
"I know, I'm..." I started, but stopped, startled, when he whirled around, his eyes huge, almost frightened.
"Do you realise Laurent was still living with them then?" he hissed. "What if he'd found you?"
"I...I'd forgotten about Laurent," I whispered. I'd only remembered when Tanya mentioned him. Geez, what would have happened if Laurent had found me?
"You forgot?"
He started pacing again, pulling at his hair. "Dear God, give me strength ...,"
"You won't have any hair left in a minute," I muttered.
He stopped suddenly, looked at me and then slowly pulled his hands away from his head, dropping them to his sides.
"Edward, I'm sorry." I stood up and went to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He was rigid, like stone. "Please don't be mad. I realise now it was a stupid, reckless thing to do, but at the time I was just so desperate to find you. I didn't really think about the consequences. And it's done now, I'm here and I'm safe. I won't do something like that again. Promise." I paused a moment. "Reasonable precautions now, remember?"
Slowly his arms curled around me. I looked up and watched the anger slowly fade from his eyes. His jaw relaxed and the tight cords in his neck softened.
"That you would put yourself in such danger, for me ,Bella I can't... ," he paused and I felt his body tense again. I ran my fingers over the back of his neck, playing in the hair that curled there, and waited. After a moment he began to relax, I felt the tension leaving him.
"Do you know what it would do to me, if something happened to you?" he asked softly.
"I think I have an idea."
He nodded.
"Will you try to remember that, please?"
"I will. And I don't think I'll be running off to find more vampires anytime soon. Promise."
"Good."
He kissed the top of my head and gently brought us both back down to the floor. He flopped onto his back and kept me tucked tight into his side. His breathing started to calm and I let out a small sigh of relief. That conversation was out of the way now. He'd been angry, he'd had his moment, but he knew now and we were okay.
Next up...Tanya. And a few questions.
"So, what did you think of Anderson?" he asked, his voice coming from somewhere above my head. I watched his throat move as he spoke.
"Freezing," I said. "And no-one had heard of you."
"We actually did any business in Healy. So, did you come home again then?"
"Yeah. I thought the whole trip had been a waste of time, but then while I was waiting to get the bus back to the airport your Volvo pulled up at the gas station." I'd said it all in a bit of a rush, and then waited.
Edward didn't say anything, but he became very still.
Too still.
My heart reacted and I knew he must have heard it because he squeezed his arms around me and kissed the top of my head again. I shifted slightly so I could see his face.
"You actually found them?" he asked quietly.
I nodded. "They drove me to the airport."
"You got in a car with vampires you didn't know?"
"Um, yeah?"
"Bella ...," he closed his eyes and shook his head again. "Who was it? Eleazar? Carmen?"
"Kate and Tanya."
He tensed and I watched his Adam's Apple move rapidly as he swallowed.
"You met Tanya?"
I nodded, my own lip between my teeth.
"Uh huh."
Then Edward took a deep breath, I felt the movement of his chest beneath my cheek, and then the next words out of his mouth surprised me.
"Ask me anything."
"Er, what?"
I sat up and Edward sat up too. His expression was determined and his voice was strong.
"I don't know what she said to you, but I can imagine you have questions and possibly some doubts. So please, ask me anything."
That really threw me.
"I...I don't have doubts, just questions."
He smiled, a flicker of relief in his eyes. We were facing each other, cross legged, and he reached out and picked up my hand. I moved onto my knees, shuffling towards him and he pulled me into his lap.
I felt secure and safe and loved with his arms around me.
"Ask me," he whispered and I felt his lips caress my temple.
I didn't really know where to start, so I began at the beginning.
"They said they didn't know where you were, but I wasn't sure. I thought maybe they did know but they weren't telling me?"
"They didn't know. I didn't tell them anything. But you're right, they probably wouldn't have told you."
I nodded. "I thought so."
I trailed my fingers over his forearm, following the faint blue line of vein beneath his skin, down to the creases of his wrist.
"You have a really long life line." My fingers traced his palm and he chuckled.
"Show me yours," he said and I turned my hand over.
His finger drew over the crease in my skin. It tickled. I noticed the fingernails that had been jagged and broken yesterday were smooth now, their edges rounded and even.
"Well, judging by this," Edward smiled. "You should be safe for a while."
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my palm.
"Will you tell me more?" he whispered as he linked his fingers through mine.
"Kate was nice. She gave me your jacket."
"Kate is nice," Edward agreed.
"But Tanya... ,"
Edward's arms tightened around me.
"Go on?"
I buried my teeth in my lip.
"It was like she wanted me to think there'd been more between you than there had been." I let out a long breath. "Apparently you are very good on long dark roads at night."
Edward's body froze and, in response, so did I.
"Edward?"
"Mm?"
"Are you okay?" My heart felt like it had stopped.
"I'm fine Bella." He sounded too casual. "I'm just trying to think how to phrase this."
I twisted in his lap. He was smiling but there was a slight tightening around his eyes.
"She said it was a driving lesson," I whispered.
"It was a driving lesson," he said. His head dropped back on his shoulders and I could feel his embarrassment. "She, uh... how do I say this?" He brought his head forward again and he gave me an apologetic smile. "She tried to grab more than just the gear stick."
My eyes shot open and my face was flaming, I could feel my skin tingling.
"She didn't actually ...?"
"No!" Edward was adamant. "No! I'd see her thoughts each time and move out of the way. Didn't stop her from trying though," he frowned. "That was the one and only lesson I gave her."
Jealousy, powerful and raw, surged through me, searing my heart. Part of me hoped I'd get the chance to meet Tanya again, just so I could ... ,
"Bella?"
"Huh? Sorry, what were you saying?"
Edward was staring down at me.
"Are you alright? Your heart is...racing."
"I'm fine." I took a couple of breaths and then my next question came out suddenly, surprising myself as much as Edward.
"Has she seen you naked?"
Edward blanched.
"No! Did she say...oh." He stopped and grimaced. "The hot springs?"
I nodded.
Edward's eyes closed and he bent his head, touching his forehead to mine.
"No, she's not seen me naked." His eyes opened again and stared straight into mine. "She snuck up on me once, but I heard her coming at the last minute. I was already getting dressed when she appeared." He smiled and squeezed his arms around me again. "All the important bits were covered," he said and then looked a bit embarrassed. He ducked his head.
"We met Tanya and her family a long time ago. She expressed some interest, I let her know I didn't return that interest and I think I've been a challenge ever since."
He ran his nose along mine, nuzzling me gently.
"I'm sorry you had to endure her insinuations."
I shrugged. "I knew what she was trying to do. But in a way it kind of gave me a bigger picture of you. They filled in some gaps." I shrugged. " It just irked me, that's all. The way she said things, the way... ." I stopped.
"Bella?"
"It's nothing."
"What?"
I rolled my eyes. "It's stupid."
"Nothing's stupid if it's bothering you. Tell me."
I gave an exaggerated sigh.
"I was annoyed that she'd probably seen more of you than I had."
There. I'd said it.
The blush started at my toes and moved like wildfire along my body. I turned my face away so he couldn't see. Had I really just said that?
We were both still, and quiet. The music rose and fell around us.
Then Edward moved, shifting me gently from his lap. I looked at him, curious, and his eyes had darkened a little. Very slowly, he reached behind him and pulled his sweater off over his head.
Oh!
"Now you've seen more," he whispered.
He seemed nervous, uncertain, but he was smiling softly.
I stared, taking in his shoulders, his chest and torso. He was toned, firm and well-defined. Very well-defined. His chest was moving slowly, up and down, with deep breaths.
To put it simply, he was stunning.
I lifted my hand, wanting to touch and not sure whether I should. Edward linked his fingers with mine, his thumb stroking slowly over my wrist. Even more slowly, he pulled my hand towards his chest. Oh! Maybe I was allowed to touch! He wet his lips and and I thought he was about to say something, but suddenly he stopped. His head snapped towards the window and he grimaced before letting out a heavy sigh.
"My family's here."
"Oh."
I was disappointed and excited all at once.
"And I should probably be dressed when we greet them." He smiled apologetically.
"Probably."
Edward brought my hand to his lips and I wondered if that had always been his intention all along. He kissed my knuckles and let go of my hand. He picked up his sweater and pulled it swiftly over his head.
He helped me to my feet, which was good, because I was still trying to get my head around the last few minutes. I'd just seen Edward half naked.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Um, I think so." I took a deep breath.
He squeezed my hand and we headed downstairs.
We hit the bottom step just as the front door burst open, and then Edward and I were both engulfed by a small, squealing, spiky-haired vampire.
Alice!
A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I appreciate each one and am just blown away by the kind things people have to say. Thank you :)
