'Where exactly have you gone?' Jez's voice loudly crackled down the speaker in the communal phone.
'Falkland Islands.' Iain replied.
'Vague. Why that far, mate?'
'I said, I needed a change. It was the only base where there were openings.' Iain said.
'Right. Thanks a lot for shafting me. I'm now stuck with Sam.' Jez said.
'Sam as in, Sam Nicholls?' Iain asked, shocked.
'You know it.' Jez replied.
'Oh, right. As if she's my replacement after only three weeks! A paramedic as well? She was training to be a doctor!'
'I know. Change of heart I think.'
'Maybe Jez, but pretty big change of heart though.' He said.
'Yeah, I know. Look, I have to go, we have a call-'
'How's Lily?'
'Lily?' Jez asked, confused.
'Yes, Lily. How is she?' Iain asked.
'Uh, good. As far as I know. She's actually just come into the office. I'll get her-'
'No, honestly, there's no need Jez. Just so long as she's okay.' Iain let his words trail off when he heard shouting on the other end of the phone.
'Hello, Dr Chao, Holby ED. Can I help? For emergencies, you really need to ring 999 first and then-'
'Lily. It's me.' Iain sighed.
'Who?' She replied, but her voice quivered unmistakably.
'You know who.' He was unhappy - it felt wrong. A lump had formed in his throat, lodged itself there.
A pause. 'It's bad signal, I can't really hear you. You're breaking up.' Lily gabbled.
'Wait, wait, I need to-'
The call cut off. Iain shut his eyes, full of regret. Everyone had to take it in turns with the phone, and so he wouldn't get another chance to call home for a week.
It felt so far away, too far away.
-x-
A knock at the door made Lily jump. Warily, she tightened her dressing gown and walked to the door, swinging it open before she could stop herself.
'Parcel for Dr Lily Chao.' The courier announced.
'Oh! Thank you. It is late, that is why I was surprised.' She clapped a hand over her mouth in a yawn, while the courier gave an awkward smile. 'Long shift?' She asked.
'Yes, you could say. Not as long as you doctors have though. Guessing this is new equipment?' He made polite conversation.
'Oh yes, my new stethoscope.' Lily nodded.
'Well, you do a great job.' He said. 'Could you just sign here?'
Lily scribbled a signature. 'Thank you.'
'See you later.' He nodded, before turning and walking down the steps. A sigh escaped her lips as she shut the door. There was a little niggle in the back of her mind that just hoped it might have been him. A feeling she didn't recognise, or even wish to have. Friends weren't meant to play on your mind so much.
She jumped again upon hearing the doorbell. Even more cautious, she went to the door, pulling it open.
Iain. Standing with his suitcase and a bag over one shoulder, he shyly held up some flowers.
She looked at them like he'd presented something poisonous. His face fell slightly, but he recovered it quickly. He knew getting discouraged wouldn't help fix anything, and that was why he was back in the first place. To mend and to fix.
He placed them gently on the side, nudging the plastic with his index finger. Helplessly, he turned back round and outstretched his arms. In just a split second for her to process it, Lily's face wobbled. He tilted his head to one side, not missing a chance to play on her hesitation.
'Come on.' He whispered. It wouldn't take much, he just had to tip her over the edge. A pause. One second passed, then two, then she was in his arms before either of them could blink.
He closed his eyes, feeling an ache spread across his chest. He held her to him, she held him back.
When he kissed the top of her head, neither of them flinched. Instead, it happened, and they let it. Finally when their eyes met, hers were swimming. He was quick to dry them with the side of his thumb.
He held her throughout, stayed aware, went slowly. She kept her eyes open and fixed on him, breathed, experienced it. His fingers grazed her skin just enough to heighten her senses while she clung much tighter, fingers curled around his wrists.
In between every shallow breath they took in unison, he would reach again for her hand. Lacing their fingers together, he'd squeeze hard and she would too. It was desperation in its most pure and innocent form. A desire that had spiralled into acute need, finally being fulfilled.
Afterwards, there was silence. A sort of delicate silence, though oddly predictable and familiar. Lying under the covers, Lily felt vulnerable, and it had nothing to do with the state of dress. Ragged breathing had calmed, chaotic minds had been quietened. So far apart, thinking of the prospect of a relationship they both knew would be a constant battle. Despite this, they still laid hand in hand. Their grip had loosened, no longer possessive. The shift had become on being together, being whole. Not letting go, because it hurt too much the last time.
Finally, a mumbled whisper, followed soon fresh tears. 'You're not here to stay, are you?'
He rolled on to his side, taking a strand of hair and playing with it. 'I would never, ever in my wildest dreams have suggested such an arrangement if I could've conjured up this moment.' She sniffed, knowing he didn't want to and wouldn't answer her first question. 'I might go rescue the flowers. Come with me, I need to know where the vases are.' He said.
She begun to climb out of bed and he followed her to the kitchen, feeling the pang of his heart in every step they took.
'Here.' She produced one off the windowsill, nudging it towards Iain.
'They need some water, poor things.' He said.
'They're beautiful, thank you.' She looked up at him. He just nodded, feeling he wasn't worthy of too much credit.
'I... you might not want it, but I bought some wine off the plane too.' He told her, producing it out of the bag on the floor. She just smiled. 'Glass now?'
'Yeah, I'd like that.'
-x-
One glass had turned in to two, had turned into three, had turned into four. Between them, they'd finished the bottle in the space of an hour and a half.
'Dance with me.' Lily had said out the blue. In his state, he had agreed to. Stone cold sober, he probably would have too. They danced clumsily around the kitchen, stepping on each other's toes. Neither cared. She'd wrapped her arms around his neck and they had giggled to each other before winding up asleep on the sofa - even though she had a perfectly good bed. Iain woke up to cover them up in the middle of the night and wondered how things would be in the morning.
