Hearts Unsealed
By: pnaixrose
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura or any of its characters. They all belong to CLAMP.
Summary: Because of that dark, fateful day nine years ago, he had been forced to give up the only thing that had ever made him happy, to resign himself to the guilt of not being able to protect her, to look into dull, distant emerald eyes and know that he had been forgotten forever and would never be remembered. As for her, she has been living with gaps in her memory – in her heart – that have just been waiting to be filled. And with trouble arising with the Cards, a string of circumstances might actually lead her to finally find what she's been missing.
(Note: Continuation of the anime if Void had been able to take what was precious to Sakura's heart)
Chapter 11: Uncovered
Relentless knocks at the door stirred a sleepy Sakura from bed who was all too unwilling to welcome a new day. After all, she'd probably be yet again stuck in this hotel room. She rubbed her emerald eyes with the back of her hands as the knocking continued. The apparent visitor was a first though. Maybe Keiji had forgotten his key? Had he even come back last night? Grudgingly, she started towards the door and opened it, elated at who she saw on the other side.
"Tomoyo-chan!" she exclaimed, relieved to finally see a friend. She wrapped her best friend in a hug that was promptly returned. "What are you doing here?"
Tomoyo smiled against Sakura's hug. "I haven't seen you in a few days so I wanted to check up on how you're doing," she said gently as she entered the apartment. She giggled and took in her best friend's disarrayed appearance and ruffled hair. "I guess you just woke up?" It was already nearing noon. Sakura simply hadn't outgrown her love of sleeping in.
She shrugged sheepishly in reply. "I sure am happy to see you though," Sakura said gratefully.
Tomoyo noted that something was amiss, that Sakura seemed almost too relieved. "Why? What's wrong?" she asked worriedly. Two more days had passed since the incident with Shot had happened and Sakura had left the Li mansion. Although they had spoken on the phone here and there, they hadn't had any time to really talk about things, especially when Tomoyo had been planning the Li ball which was coming up fast. There were only two days left to finalize things before the big event. Tomoyo felt guilty about not coming earlier to check up on her.
Sakura quickly shook her head, a smile on her face. She didn't want to admit how lonely she felt, how Keiji was barely around. She didn't want to remember that awkward tension that had risen some days ago when Keiji had attempted to be intimate and she had stopped things. Since then, things had been strained between her and her fiancé. They had barely talked and barely looked at each other. Then again, he hardly seemed to come back to the hotel room anyway.
She had started to think she was slowly going crazy here, cooped up in this small room. It didn't help that she didn't really have anywhere to go anyway. So ultimately she had been left alone with her thoughts…her horrible thoughts that reminded her again and again of how much she cared for the Li leader…who seemed to have such little care for her in return.
"I'm fine," Sakura assured, a smile plastered on her face. "Just happy to see you."
Tomoyo decided not to push things and simply nodded. "Well, actually, I do have a surprise." With excitement, she rummaged through the bag she had brought and pulled out something that made Sakura gasp.
"Oh my goodness…Tomoyo-chan…" she whispered in awe. It was a beautifully draped long gown that fell to the floor. It was an off-white color and was made up of various fabrics that proved to be move fluidly, as if it was water streaming from a waterfall. There was a high slit that would sit on the wearer's upper right thigh, revealing just enough leg to be seductive, yet the overall effect of the dress was an angelic, goddess-like glow. The dress was constructed into a one shoulder strap dress with the material cinching at the waist to maintain the wearer's curves. The strap was adorned with tiny jewels that caught your eye which dispersed randomly as it reached the body of the dress. It could be mistaken to be a plain dress, however it was overall beautifully made with a very careful eye for detail which made it stand out. In fact, it was the intense detail of it that reminded Sakura of Tomoyo's own style in the clothes she makes for a living. "Did you make this?"
She nodded happily as she held up her creation. "I've been trying to blueprint your wedding dress," she explained, "but I also ended up coming up with this for you."
Sakura's eyes nearly escaped their sockets. "I-It's for me?" she exclaimed in surprise. She couldn't possibly pull off such a beautiful gown. "Tomoyo-chan, it's been years since you've made me something to wear…"
It had been years. Nine years to be exact.
But Eriol's conversation with her some weeks ago while they were alone in the ballroom had sparked something within her. Tomoyo had let go of so many things she had loved for the sake of keeping Sakura sane and safe. She had done so without another thought. But she hadn't realized how much she had missed these small things that made her who she was. Eriol had encouraged her to take them up again, and she realized that she didn't have to give up everything she loved to help a friend anymore.
Tomoyo grinned. "It's a bit different from your costumes, I have to say. I guess my style has matured."
Sakura laughed in return, thinking about the crazy battle costumes that were always vividly colored and designed which Tomoyo used to make her for her Card capturing days. She remembered them vaguely, some more than others. Sakura was slightly surprised that Tomoyo had brought them up in conversation. Tomoyo hadn't mentioned them in a long time. "I love this, Tomoyo-chan," she breathed as she took another look at it again. "I don't have anywhere to wear it to though."
"Are you forgetting, silly? The Li ball is in two days."
The news widened Sakura's emerald eyes. She had totally forgotten about the Li ball. Her chest tightened at the thought of it, knowing that a certain someone would be there. "I-I..." she squeaked, "I-I'm invited?"
"Of course you are," Tomoyo replied, folding the dress carefully. "Is something the matter?"
"I…I just…"
She looked at Sakura carefully and knew exactly where her thoughts lay. "Don't worry about Li-kun. He knows that you'll be there. I'm positive that he doesn't blame you for what happened with the Shot Card. In fact, he recovered quite quickly. He went back to work today actually," she said comfortingly.
Although she was relieved to hear that he had recovered, the issue with the Shot Card wasn't the only thing that was bothering her. She also didn't know how to face him after he had so blatantly rejected her feelings for him. She especially didn't know how to face him now that she had come to terms with herself that she did indeed have feelings for him. The discomfort in her chest didn't disappear, but she attempted to look happy for Tomoyo's sake. After all, her best friend had made this dress for her while planning the ball and planning her wedding on the side. Sakura didn't have the heart to refuse the dress and the ball. "Oh okay…I'm glad."
"You should try the dress on," Tomoyo said excitedly with stars in her eyes. "I have the shoes too," she said as she again started rummaging through her bag. After some time, her eyebrows knitted together and she let out a sigh, unable to find the high heels she had picked out for her. "Ah, I think I might've forgotten them at the house…"
"That's okay, I can try them another time."
Tomoyo gave her a pointed look. "But what if they don't fit? Why don't you come back to the house with me? You can try on the dress there too." She noted that Sakura had stiffened in her spot as a look of uneasiness settled on her face. Tomoyo frowned slightly, realizing that the Li leader's effect on Sakura has seemingly increased. Had something happened between them that no one knew about? "Don't worry, Sakura-chan," she said softly. "Li-kun is at work today. Since it's his first day back, he has a lot of work to do. Plus with the ball and other important business, Meiling said that the entire company is in for a lot of time in the office. He won't come home early today and I'll bring you back before you know it."
Sakura believed her, but still felt uneasy, almost guilty about stepping into his house without him knowing. "Okay," she acquiesced. "Let me take a quick shower and we'll go."
Tomoyo let out a quiet, excited squeal as she dropped her bag on the floor and settled onto the bed while Sakura grabbed some clothes and went into the shower. It was clear that Sakura needed a little bit of "girl time" to get her thoughts off of things for a while and Tomoyo was glad that she seemed willing to spend some relaxing time with just them two. It had been awhile since they had such a time actually.
Tomoyo stretched, feeling the soreness in her back which had been bothering her for the past several days. It was probably all that time hunched over her notes and sketchpad, planning for the ball. At least the plans were almost completely finalized. Now all she really had to do was wait for the day to come and hope everything ran smoothly. Her job as the planner is nearly complete.
As she stretched, she noticed something that seemed out of place from the periphery of her vision wedged behind the lamp on the nightstand table. Curiously, she reached for the small object which could easily be overlooked, and realized that it was a small black tube of lipstick. She uncovered the cap. Red. A very rich, deep red color.
An uncomfortable feeling made its way up Tomoyo's throat as she heard Sakura turn the shower on.
Sakura didn't wear lipstick. In fact, she didn't wear much make up at all.
A tall woman with skin as pale as the moon sipped from her teacup demurely, her posture as straight and proper as a queen's. Her long raven hair being pulled back into a high ponytail by a golden hairpin, her face seemed to shine with radiance as she sat across the reincarnation of Clow Reed.
"It's nice to see you again," Eriol said, his voice an octave deeper. He was drinking his own cup of tea. "Yelan-san."
"It's my pleasure," came the quiet, smooth, feminine voice. "Clow." Her narrow but observant eyes appraised him slightly, her face as stoic as ever. "Tell me, what is the situation that seems to have risen?"
He smiled lightly. Li Yelan was as straight to the point as ever. "Void. The cost of its capture was not met. Sakura-san still somehow holds feelings for the one she held most dear at that time…even after all these years."
"Feelings for my son."
Eriol nodded his confirmation.
She paused as she took a long sip of her own tea. "And now? Is there something going on between Xiao Lang and Sakura-san?"
He hesitated, unsure of what to say. "There's definitely something…She seems to feel comfortable with him, seems to have developed feelings for him…but it doesn't seem like she remembers him." Eriol opened his mouth, about to add something, but promptly closed it. It did not go unnoticed.
"What is it?" Yelan asked.
He drew a breath. "Sakura-san is to be married. To a man who works for your son at the company."
An unsettling silence took over them as Yelan placed her cup down gently. Her expression was almost unreadable and as passive as ever, however Eriol caught the faraway look of sadness hidden behind the woman's dark eyes. A look full of pity.
She must have noticed how lost her son has been throughout these past few years. How Syaoran has been longing after a woman who had forgotten him completely, trying to convince himself to give her up but not willing to do so in the least bit. Eriol briefly wondered how their mother and son relationship was…if this topic had come up before.
He remembered that Tomoyo had told him the Li ball this year had a hidden purpose to introduce Syaoran to his future wife. He couldn't imagine Syaoran to be compliant with this. Maybe their relationship was strained after all.
And it was then that both he and Yelan noticed a familiar aura headed their way. She let out a sad smile, turning to Eriol. "I do hope the Card Mistress has been well." Yelan took another sip of her tea, her eyes distant. Eriol could have sworn he had heard her whisper underneath her breath, "Such a shame... She and my Xiao Lang were so perfect together…" He stayed silent and passive, quite unsure of what to say.
Kero darted out of his room and headed towards the warm aura he could only recognize as his master's. Rounding a sharp turn, he flew straight into her and was immediately buried in an embrace. "Sakuraaa!"
She laughed and held him close. "I've missed you, Kero-chan!"
"Where the heck have you been?" he purred as he perched on her shoulder. Sakura and Tomoyo continued to walk down the hallway towards the sitting room where Tomoyo had apparently left the box of shoes. "I feel cooped up staying here without you."
It was ironic because he described exactly how she felt staying with Keiji. Sakura let out a crooked grin. "I'm sorry. Tell you what, I give you permission to sneak into the Li ball to eat all those delicious food that's going to be there. Just don't reveal yourself."
The idea of sweets filled his head. "WAI!" Kero pulled her arm into a tiny hug. "Thank you, thank you!"
"What's Eriol-kun doing?" Tomoyo asked as she giggled at Kero's antics. "He said he was going to get the rest of the planning done today."
At this, Kero quieted and returned to his spot on Sakura's shoulder. A pensive look crossed his face. "He's actually talking with someone right now."
Sakura had noted a strong presence ever since she had stepped foot in the house. Maybe this was the person Eriol was entertaining? Although she couldn't recognize it exactly, it felt strangely familiar. But nonetheless, it was definitely powerful.
Finally, they reached the sitting room where Tomoyo, Sakura, and Kero stopped in their tracks as they reached the doorway, peering into the room interestedly. "O-Oh," Tomoyo said apologetically. "I'm sorry, Eriol-kun, we didn't know you had a guest."
Sakura looked curiously over to the woman seated in the couch. The woman had her back turned to her as she sat and Sakura couldn't seem to get a good look of her. But judging from her tall frame and the long, beautiful Chinese clothing she wore, she seemed to be of great importance. This was whom the tremendous aura seemed to belong to.
Eriol smiled as he stood. "Actually, we're the guests in her home," he said ironically. "This is Li Yelan."
And then, as if in slow motion, the woman stood, facing them fully. A beautiful, porcelain face. Long, luxurious hair tied into a regal high ponytail. Skin creamy and as light as snow. She was absolutely stunning. Sakura could barely stop herself from staring blankly at her.
Yelan's expression softened as she caught sight of the young girl with the auburn hair. It had been years since she had last seen the Card Mistress. It seemed like it was yesterday when she and her companions had stumbled into Hong Kong and had gotten caught up with the vengeful spirit of Clow Reed's past lover. Yelan had noticed something within Sakura from the day they had met. She had realized that she was strong, full of passion. Kinomoto Sakura was a woman who fully knew herself, was confident in her friends. She was truly the successor of Clow Reed, not because of her magic, but because of her heart. And it was because of her strong, honest, passion-filled heart that her son fell in love with her.
But this young girl standing before her…she seemed different. It was clear that she had experienced a lot of heartache…a lot of loneliness…a lot of confusion.
"It's my pleasure," Yelan said quietly. "Card Mistress."
Sakura was somehow not surprised that Yelan was already familiar with her secret identity. Perhaps it was because all the Li's were in tune with the magical world. But there was something else. She couldn't get this uncanny feeling that they had met before. Her memories were swirling in her mind and foggy scenes were settling within it.
"N-Not at all," Sakura said politely. "Thank you for letting us into your home."
Slowly, Yelan grew closer to her until they were face to face. She placed a light hand on Sakura's shoulder and she lessened the space between their faces. After a brief moment, another sad smile was seen upon her face.
"You've grown up so beautifully, but you've been through a lot haven't you?" she whispered wistfully. "Like I warned you before…Great power may also serve an opportunity for hardship."
Emerald eyes widened at the words. They had a familiar ring to them, as if she had heard them before.
And then, with a start, she realized that she had heard them before. From this exact woman.
"H-Hoee?" She paused. "Have…Have we met-"
And quite suddenly, a panting, strained voice was heard as another person occupied the room. "Mother."
They all looked up to see a tired Syaoran at the doorway, heaving his chest up and down for air. He had rushed home from the office as soon as someone had relayed the message that his mother had returned. Syaoran caught eyes with the Card Mistress who had been face to face with his mother not even moments before. Something lodged in his throat as he looked at her and he forced himself to look away. It was best not to spend too much time looking at her…pining for another man's woman. She had made her choice – a choice which he had fully predicted before – and he wasn't going to interfere with her life anymore.
Sakura, likewise, felt heaviness settle upon her heart as she saw him, clad in his regular business suit. And as he tore his gaze away from her, she felt as if he had torn at her heart too. And then realization set upon her. Did he just say…"Mother"?
Of course. How could she be so stupid? Eriol had said that this was her house after all. It only made sense.
And plus, this woman was so incredibly beautiful. It wasn't a surprise that her son caught some of her good looks. Sakura's face turned red at the thought.
"Xiao Lang," Yelan said, straightening herself and facing him.
He tensed as she regarded him slowly and quietly. "Mother, w-why are you here?" he asked. "The ball isn't for another few da-"
"Your back."
He blinked in confusion. "What?" Without another word, his mother strode towards him fluidly, as if walking on air, and suddenly slipped off the suit jacket before he could protest. She began unbuttoning the front of his shirt before he finally placed his hand on hers. "I-It's nothing, Mother. I'm fine. It's really-"
"Show me," she demanded, her voice short. "Show me then."
His amber eyes skirted to the other occupants of the room, stopping briefly at an emerald eyed girl. "M-Mother, can't we do this another time?" he asked embarrassedly. He really didn't want to strip half naked at his mother's awkward command. Especially not in front of Sakura.
But the look in his mother's eyes sent a shiver down his spine. He sighed. There was no use trying to refuse this woman. In all his life, he had never had the courage to. He would always be reduced to a stuttering fool in front of her.
Sakura felt herself grow pink as she watched him slowly and unwillingly unbutton his dress shirt revealing a white tank top. She got a peek at muscles, showing through the thin cotton. Grudgingly, he then turned so that his back was to his mother who slowly lifted the undershirt. A back riddled with muscular ridges was revealed. However, three large bandages were also seen, covering his wounds. Yelan lifted a slender hand and applied pressure to the one against his shoulder. He winced noticeably, although he had been trying to withhold himself.
"You're not well enough to be working," Yelan stated sharply as she assessed the other two wounds, peering under the bandages. Syaoran visibly winced as she did so.
"I'm fine," he insisted, pulling away abruptly and quickly buttoning up his shirt. "I can't afford not to work. It's been hectic enough already. I'm surprised you left Shanghai as easily as you did," he insisted. "That reminds me, why are you here? The ball isn't for another two days."
She straightened yet again looking up at him pointedly. "Besides the fact that you seem to have forgotten to take proper care of your own wounds, have you also forgotten the purpose of this year's ball."
Amber eyes widened before skirting over to Sakura once more. "Mother, please," he pleaded, converting back his home language. "Not here. Not right now. Don't say anything about-"
"Purpose?" Sakura asked quietly. Tomoyo, Eriol, and Kero quickly grew uncomfortable by her side. She turned to Tomoyo. "What's the purpose? I thought it was for charity."
"Xiao Lang is to meet his future wife at the ball," Yelan explained in clear Japanese. Syaoran visibly sighed and rolled his eyes at his mother. Sakura had grown completely silent and stiff at her words. "His sisters have all been married for years now and he's due for-"
"-I'm only twenty-one," Syaoran interjected boldly. "I'm not due for anything." Gathering his courage, he stared at his mother quietly. If there was one thing he would never let his mother have, it was allowing her to force him to settle on marrying someone he didn't love.
"I just want to ensure your happiness," Yelan said. "You don't deserve to live like this anymore, giving your heart to someone who you can't-"
"Mother, stop it," he said, somehow raising his voice. He was irate that she decided to bring this up in conversation again, despite how many times he tried to stop this topic from arising. It was enough that she had brought it up, it sent him over the edge that Sakura had heard. He quickly switched the conversation to Chinese as he continued, not wanting his friends to understand another word. "If you want to ensure my happiness, then don't force me to do something that will make me unhappy. You can do all that you want. You can have this ball. But I'm not marrying anyone if I don't choose her myself."
He roughly grabbed his suit jacket from her hands before turning on his heel and attempting to stalk out of the room.
"She's getting married. She's moved on. You should too. It's not fair to you."
He stopped at the doorway and glanced at his mother before leaving in a huff.
Thank goodness she had said that in Chinese.
Sakura was silent as she stood in front of the mirror as Tomoyo made minor adjustments to the dress she was wearing. Eriol and Kero were lounging nearby as the girls continued with the dress fitting.
The entire ordeal they had witness between Syaoran and his mother had left Sakura quiet and pensive. Her friends of course had noticed, but were unsure of what to say. Eriol especially was left in an awkward position, having been able to understand the entire context of the dialogue.
Kero attempted to restore some normalcy to the atmosphere. "It looks nice, Sakura," he said, referring to the dress. "Tomoyo, you did a great job."
"I'm glad you decided to start making Sakura-san clothing again," Eriol added.
She gave them both a grateful look and turned to Sakura. "How do you like it, Sakura-chan?"
But she was dazedly staring at herself in the mirror, lost in thought.
"Sakura?"
This broke her reverie, but ended up unleashing an immense amount of emotion. Sakura felt the tears well up in her eyes as she blurted, "Li-kun's going to meet his future wife in two days." And before she could help herself, she continued almost hysterically. "Why didn't any of you tell me? And why does it seem like he's already in love with someone, according to his mother?"
Her rush of questions had left her breathless and she looked at her friends who had all entered a stupor of not knowing what to say. She ran a hand through her short hair in frustration, allowing it to get tangled in her locks. "I-I'm sorry," she said, her voice shaking. The tears were coming quickly. "I-I'm sorry…I…I…"
Tomoyo put her tools down as she gestured for the boys to leave which they did without another word. Finally alone in the room, Tomoyo wrapped her arms around Sakura, pulling her into an embrace. "Is something the matter, Sakura-chan?"
"I love him," she blurted plainly. "I love him, Tomoyo-chan."
It felt surprisingly good to have finally admitted it out loud. It no longer felt trapped, wedged in the inner confines of her heart. But at the same time, saying the words aloud meant that she couldn't turn back. And hearing her own voice say those words…it all felt so terribly hopeless.
Knowing that he was planned to meet someone in two days. Realizing that he already seemed to have another woman in his mind.
How could she be so blind? Why didn't the thought that he already loved another woman cross her thoughts? This must be the reason he had blatantly rejected her all those days ago. This was the reason he would never notice her. And here she was, thinking that her own soon-to-be-marriage was in the way of them being together…when Syaoran already had another woman himself all this time. That was cruel of him. To use her engagement with Keiji as an excuse.
Syaoran's woman was probably beautiful, with a tall, slim frame and a rich renowned family. A perfect match for him.
The tears started to fall.
Tomoyo on the other hand was just as shaken as Sakura was. Hearing this confession of love, which Sakura had never done before…Tomoyo couldn't help but feel some type of joy, some type of hope for the two. After all, Sakura had overcome Void's curse – to have her feelings for Syaoran sealed away forever. But, assessing the situation carefully and realizing all the different variables that made it all so complicated left Tomoyo speechless.
So there she stood in the middle of the room, hugging her sobbing best friend tightly in her arms, dressed in the creation that she had made for her. She was elated that Sakura had finally seemed to understand and feel some kind of passionate love, of which she had been so devoid of before. But it didn't look too bright at the moment…for anyone.
"Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said slowly, hoping with all her heart that the next words she would say would be the right ones. Sakura's auburn head was still buried in Tomoyo's shoulder, soaking it through. "I know it seems difficult…and I myself don't know much about love," she started. "But I do know that you and Li-kun have something special that can't be denied. I don't know how everything will pan out in the end…but you, out of everyone in your life, know what's best for yourself." Tomoyo patted Sakura's back softly as she heard her let out a sob. "I know it's been a long time since you've felt anything like this…it may possibly feel like you have never felt anything like this. But use what you know about your own heart…and follow it. Just as what you've done to lead you to this place."
Sakura's grip on Tomoyo's clothes tightened as the gentle words reached her ears.
Follow her heart. That's right. So far, the choices she's made while following her heart and ignoring everything else had led her here. They had led her to meeting Syaoran that one hot day in front of the Li building. They had led her to stay at his house. They had led her to spend that one special night stuck in his office with him.
Her heart had led her to him. And she had been able to feel emotions that she had never thought she would ever feel. Her heart had sometimes let her down, she admitted. But meeting Syaoran…even with all these complications…was definitely not a letdown.
Having dried her tears and fueled with a new realization of courage thanks to Tomoyo, Sakura made her way down the hallway to Li Syaoran's study. She hid her aura while she did so. He wasn't going to run away before she could talk to him. Not on her watch.
She was going to tell him. Admit to him her feelings. That's what her heart was telling her to do as of right now. And if he refused her, admitted that he loved another, got angry at her because she was betrothed, so be it. She would deal with that if it came. However, she could no longer keep these feelings from him. And even if the world came crashing down on her, she would tell him. She owed it to herself. She had never felt this way about anyone after all. If she continued on with life without telling him, she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life.
As she neared the impending office, she felt Eriol's presence residing inside as well and frustration grew within her. Hopefully if she stayed for a little bit, Eriol would soon leave. Realizing that the door was ajar, she took her place near the entrance and peeped through.
"…didn't realize things were that bad between you two," Eriol was saying, looking apologetically at the amber-eyed man across the desk. "Again…I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything to her about the situation."
"It's fine," came Syaoran's response. He heaved a sigh. "Mother has a strange way of trying to make me happy. She's tired to seeing me like this…I guess she's desperate."
"You've never considered it though? Trying to fall in love with another woman?"
There was a pause. "No," came the smooth, honest reply. "It never crossed my mind." Another pause as a pensive look reached the Li leader's face. "I…never had to try to fall in love with her…I just…did."
Sakura's heart plummeted upon hearing the words. Suddenly, within seconds, she had lost her confidence. Suddenly, she wanted to hide away. She thought she could put aside her fear that he did love another woman. But hearing it being confirmed…
Her heart was wrong. So wrong.
Stifling a sob, she hurried away from the door, wanting to get as far away as she could.
If she had stayed just a few moments more, she would've heard the rest of the conversation.
"If Void had gotten to me, instead of her," Syaoran started quietly, "Do you think…Do you think Sakura would still be loving me too? Even after all this time passed? Or am I just…being pathetic?"
Eriol studied the distant, aching look on the Li leader's face. He let out a sigh before he started towards the door to exit. "To tell you the truth, she still loves you, Li-kun," he said blatantly. "And I think you know it too."
And at that, Syaoran was left alone once again, Eriol's words triggering yet another flashback of a petite auburn-haired girl longing to place her lips on his. Syaoran pushed the thought aside.
Sakura…loving him? Sakura, who has a fiancé?…Sakura, whose school girl crush for Syaoran was stripped away by Void?…Sakura, who might possibly have her Cards stolen if Syaoran acted on his feelings?…Sakura, who was fated to never look at him the same way he looked at her?
Eriol's words were almost cruel. Syaoran didn't let the false hope bubble inside him.
It was a ridiculous notion after all.
It was five o'clock in the morning as a black stuffed bear silently watched its maker sit on the edge on his unmade bed, clad in nothing but a pair of sweatpants and some bandages across his back. The birds were already chirping to greet the hardly risen sun, unaware that the night had not brought everyone such sweet dreams.
Syaoran ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He had gotten only a few minutes' worth of precious sleep. And those few minutes had been full of nightmares. The other hours of the night had been dedicated to Void, ripping and tearing at his body until he could almost pass out from the pain. He would've welcomed unconsciousness actually. But of course, that was too easy. Void wouldn't award him that escape.
He somehow remembered it was the day of the Li ball. That after his few hours at work, he would have to return home, get himself cleaned up for the night, wear yet another stuffy tuxedo, and walk into a room filled with elegance and politics. And on a disgusting side note, there would also be well-brought up women in good families who would be vying for his attention, wanting him to be the one he would "pick" as his future wife.
He sighed. Sakura would be there too, latching on the arm of Shimizu Keiji, no doubt. He hadn't seen her since his mother had arrived two days ago. And even then, the sight of her caused his heart to twist.
How would he be able to get through a night of seeing them together?
The open bar would help, he supposed.
Walking into the ballroom was literally a breath-taking experience. From what she last remembered of the place while it wasn't in use, dust had covered every corner and the room had looked dingy and dark even in the afternoon. Somehow, Meiling felt like it was a completely different room as she was greeted with pristine chandeliers, red velvet curtains adorning the majestic windows, and lights as bright as she could imagine. The various tables were scattered neatly around the dance floor, decorated with a tall, elegant centerpiece that was full of diamonds and crystals. The live string quartet was warming up at one end of the dance floor, its singers prepping their vocal chords. The piano was also going to be used and the pianist was looking over his music sheets one last time. Servers were running around with silver platters perched on their fingers, getting last minute preparations done. And Meiling could practically see herself in the polished marble floors as she looked at her feet.
It was absolutely breathtaking.
Smiling, she spotted the two main contributors to the planning of the party standing in the middle of the dance floor. She neared them, flagging them down. "Tomoyo! Hiiragazawa!" she exclaimed, ruby eyes still wide with astonishment. "How the hell did you accomplish this? It looks absolutely beautiful!"
Tomoyo laughed, nervousness obvious behind her giggles. "Thank you, Meiling-chan," she said. "But there are so many things that should have been done by now. For example, the menus haven't been placed out yet and the cooks haven't-"
Eriol chuckled as he brought a hand to rest on the small of Tomoyo's back. "Meiling-san," he said, "please convince Tomoyo-san that she has done her part to the best of her ability and that there isn't anything else she needs to do other than enjoy her time. She's been fretting all day."
Meiling laughed. "He's right, you know. Your jobs are done! Just have a good time now!" She scanned their attire and smiled, noting how wonderfully perfect the pair seemed to be together. A pair of perfect elegance. "You guys certainly look amazing, too."
Tomoyo was wearing a long silk gown that reached her ankles. It was made of a dark violet colored silk that could easily be mistaken as black and was held together at the top by a single golden band at her neck, creating a halter-like top. The dress hugged her tightly at her chest and torso, and flowed easily to the floor once it reached her waist. Her back was exposed as a long slit plunged from the neck to her lower back. Tomoyo's hair was pulled up into a tight bun on the top of her head, with wisps of hair framing her face. Eriol, on the other hand, was looking dapper in a black tuxedo with a dark violet vest underneath, all accented with a black bowtie. His jacket had the shape of a penguin-tail type back and he had put away his glasses for the night, revealing more of his azure eyes. Somehow, despite the prim and properness of their attire, they seemed extremely comfortable, and Meiling guessed that they were used to looking as elegant as they do now.
"You look quite beautiful yourself, Meiling-san," Eriol commented with a gentlemanly smile. She was wearing a ruby red dress that had a sweetheart, strapless neckline that ran down to her mid-calf, hugging her frame tightly. It was a fiery little number and it matched her to a tee. Her hair was let down and curled at the ends and she was wearing a dark red lipstick that was almost vampire-like.
She flushed at the compliment and brushed it aside as she noticed that Tomoyo was looking anxiously at all the preparations being done. Meiling laughed. "Hiiragazawa, maybe you should take her away from this place," she teased. "She looks like she's about to have a panic attack."
Tomoyo smiled slightly and Eriol took her hands in his. The party hadn't even started yet and they still had about half an hour before it did. But Tomoyo was absolutely frantic. It was actually quite endearing. Eriol noted that the quartet and pianist had begun to practice a song and he winked at Meiling. "I have a better idea actually…" Meiling smirked as she made her way off the dance floor and went to find her cousins who had recently just arrived with their husbands and children.
As the melodious music began, Tomoyo felt his one hand snake to her lower back as he held her close. He was holding her other hand gently as they began to move with the slow beat. She felt his thumb playing with the exposed skin of her back and briefly wondered if his real intention had been to cause her heart to have palpitations. If it was, it was definitely working.
"All your hard work has paid off," he whispered into her ear, making hairs stand at the back of her neck. "It's beautiful. And did I mention that you looked lovely as well?"
Tomoyo smiled modestly. He had actually done so several times already. "Thanks for all your help, Eriol-kun."
He smiled a deep smile as he looked down at her. "It was entirely my pleasure. Did you think about my request that I made a few days ago?"
At this, Tomoyo flushed a deep red, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "I haven't sung in such a long time in front of people though-"
"You sang with me."
"But that was you," she protested lightly.
Azure eyes softened. "And just what is it about me?"
Tomoyo simply smiled, ignoring his question as they continued to dance. "I'll continue to think about it." And suddenly, she felt at ease being here with him, the only couple dancing in the middle of an empty dance floor, even with all the last minute preparations that continued around them.
Nearly all the guests had arrived and it was only an hour after the party started when Syaoran had his third glass of champagne. He was honestly already exhausted, having had various women pushed up to him by his mother who seemed to have no shame. Right now he had taken refuge at the bar, leaning up against the counter as he scanned the crowd for a particular woman who seemed to have not arrived yet.
He stifled a sigh and listened as conversation ensued all around him. The quartet and piano were playing soft melodies throughout the night as the dance floor in front of him filled with various couples dancing. Luckily, his mother hadn't made him dance with a stranger just yet. But it was sure to happen soon, he knew. Hopefully, a couple more hours would pass before she would find him hiding here at the bar.
And then Syaoran spotted her entering the room. An angel.
She looked…radiant. Her short hair had been pulled back away from her face, pinned by a glittering hair pin. Her skin was glowing as she carefully looked around in awe of the setting. The goddess-like dress draped around her perfectly, catching every curve, enticing him with the high slit that revealed soft, supple legs. And her eyes…they were as beautiful as ever. A dazzling spectacle of emerald. The main focus of her entire attire.
He looked on almost stupidly, watching her every move with slightly opened lips. It seemed as if she had come by herself. Other men surely thought she had. Syaoran noted with a spark of jealousy that some men at a table near her were looking at her, talking about her under their breaths. They laughed as one left the group, headed towards her direction.
Oh, hell no.
Syaoran made a move to go towards her, leaving his champagne at the bar. His rational thinking had left. All that he knew was that some guy was trying to make his move on her. And no way was that going to-
And suddenly Shimizu Keiji appeared behind her, catching up to her with quick strides. The other man backed away as Shimizu caught her hand in his. They talked lightly before heading towards a direction.
He felt numbed.
"Xiao Lang," came a voice which he had come to dread tonight. He sighed and turned to his ever-so-elegant mother, bringing a young woman in tow. He had given away his hiding place. Syaoran tried to prepare himself for yet another introduction to yet another woman who simply didn't catch his eye or his heart.
Looking briefly around the room, his eyes settled on Sakura who was being introduced to a group of interns. He felt his heart stop yet again, just settling his sight on her.
No one seemed to compare to that beauty in the angelic dress tonight.
"Sakura!" Meiling fussed, catching sight of her. "There you are!"
Sakura turned to spot her friend dressed in a flattering red dress and smiled. She had been sitting by herself with a group of strangers while Keiji was mingling with some coworkers somewhere. It was nice to see a friend. Especially when for the past few hours she had watched the man she loved be introduced to woman after woman. Some of whom were actually quite touchy as they casually placed their hands on his shoulder or arm, letting out a forced maniacal laugh every time he spoke.
Idiots.
…When had she become so bitter?
"Meiling-chan," she said in relief, putting down her umpteenth glass of wine. Sakura honestly couldn't remember how much she had already by this point. Stuffing her face and drinking in her misery were the only things she could do as she watched Syaoran possibly meet his future bride. Or continue to secretly love someone else despite his mother's pushing. Either way, Sakura didn't like it.
Meiling laughed as she neared her. "Kinda a drag, huh?" she whispered under her breath. She held out her glass of whiskey. "This somewhat helps, doesn't it.?"
Sakura giggled in response, unable to deny it. "Tomoyo-chan and Eriol-kun seem to be enjoying themselves though," she commented happily. Besides keeping a close eye on the amber-eyed Li leader, she had been watching her two friends as well as they went to the dance floor again and again, holding each other close with silly, love-struck smiles on their faces. It brought joy to her heart watching them establish a closer connection with each other, especially when it felt as if it was leading to something more than friendship.
Meiling rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she grinned. "Enjoying themselves? Please, they are ecstatic." She seemed to notice someone passing by and called him over. "Ah! Xiao Lang! Come here!"
Sakura stiffened as he ambled his way through the crowd at Meiling's command. His own body tensed as he saw whom his cousin was speaking with. "K-Kinomoto," he greeted lamely.
"Sakura's sitting here by herself," Meiling announced with a frown. "Why don't you two dance?"
An uneasy look settled within both of their eyes and Syaoran scowled at his cousin. "You're drunk," he pointed out blatantly, giving her a warning glare. Surely she was drunk. Otherwise she wouldn't be recklessly urging them to dance. She knew what the situation was after all.
Meiling let out a long laugh and shrugged. "Doesn't mean you two can't dance." She hoisted Sakura to her feet and nearly pushed her into Syaoran's chest. "Go, go!" Meiling roughly shoved them into the dance floor where they awkwardly looked at each other. She seemed satisfied with herself before she walked away to fetch yet another drink.
Meanwhile, Syaoran and Sakura were standing in front of each other, uncomfortably avoiding each other's eyes. They stood at the edge of the dance floor, their bodies noticeably tense.
"W-We don't have to-"
"Don't listen to her, she's-"
Their words collided. Syaoran looked down at her, realizing that she looked even more gorgeous up close. Maybe it was the drinks in his system. Maybe it was how easily he melted into putty as she looked up at him with those brilliant eyes. Either way, he couldn't help himself. He held out a hand to her.
"Shall we?"
She felt her lips soften into a smile, momentarily forgetting everything else that could complicate things. She even forgot what she had found out two days ago, that Syaoran was already in love with another girl, that he would never feel for her the way she did about him. She forgot that she had come to the party with another man. That was just the effect Syaoran had on her. Allowed her to slip into a world where nothing else mattered.
Sakura took the rough hand in hers and allowed him to lead her in a slow dance, his other hand hesitatingly finding itself on her hip. She noted absentmindedly that he was a fairly good dancer, probably trained in the ways of elegance because of his upbringing. They spent several minutes in silence as they danced, letting their bodies fall into a slow rhythm.
"Y-You look," he started, before getting his voice caught in his throat. "Nice."
Nice? Syaoran mentally kicked himself. Try radiant, stunning, drop dead gorgeous. The best he could come up with was nice?
But nonetheless, she beamed, feeling thrilled. "You too." Now that she saw him up close, she noted how pristine he looked in a fresh tuxedo and black skinny tie, with his chocolate locks as unruly as ever. She was starting to feel lightheaded and wasn't quite sure if it was the drinks she's had or the fact that she was dancing with him.
"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, seeing her mellow expression.
Sakura was sure it was the drinks. Otherwise she wouldn't have said what she had said next. "I'm fine. Just happy I'm here with you." As soon as she had said it, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "I-I mean," she stuttered. "I didn't mean…"
He was silent as he looked down at a flustered Sakura. His heart had skipped a beat at her words. He attempted to not let them affect him. She didn't mean anything by it, surely.
She drew a breath. "I missed you."
Amber eyes widened. This statement was harder to ignore, to brush off. "K-Kinomoto.."
Helplessly, she looked up at him, knowing that it was too late to go back now. The drinks had already led her down this road and she had no choice but to allow them and her heart to continue leading her. She swallowed down her fears. "I…missed you…Li-kun."
The song ended, causing the couples around them to stop dancing and politely clap. They stood there, still entwined, staring speechlessly into each other's eyes.
As the song ended, Tomoyo looked at her dance partner with a grin. "I have a surprise for you."
Eriol looked back at her, drunk in his happiness. The night was moving along splendidly and he couldn't remember the last time his heart had felt so in peace. "What do you mean?"
She simply returned his smile and suddenly went towards the quartet and pianists, who all seemed to be expecting her. Tomoyo took a deep breath and she spoke into the microphone in broken Cantonese. "This is for a dear friend of mine who reminded me of all the things that I am." A pleasant murmur went through the crowd as the quartet and pianist exited from their places. Tomoyo took the pianist's spot as her fingers moved agilely along the keys, her voice ringing out beautifully and gently in a slow-paced Japanese song.
The couples continued with their dancing as Eriol stood there in a stupor, every so often catching her eyes as she sang. The sound of her voice was as soft and striking as ever, reaching the high notes easily. It sounded as if she had been meant to sing this song, as if she had been practicing since the day she had been born. And he stared at her without shame, watching as the woman he had grown to love in the past few weeks belt out a beautiful melody, looking as if she was right at home with a piano under her fingers and a song in her heart.
As Tomoyo's voice radiated charmingly throughout the ballroom, Syaoran looked down at a determined Sakura who was staring meaningfully up at him. His heart was swelling with the melody of the song and with replaying what Sakura had just said in his head.
"I missed you too," he finally blurted. A look of longing crossed his eyes as he saw Sakura's eyes widen in bliss. He opened his mouth to speak and looked as if he decided against it. Several silent seconds passed. Struggling with himself, he finally started, "Kinomoto, I-"
And then his shoulder was roughly pushed away from her as a man came in between them. "I hope you don't mind if I cut in," a sneering voice said.
"K-Keiji-kun," Sakura said, feeling rattled. His hand was wrapped around her wrist tightly, possessively. "Where did you-"
"She is my fiancé after all," Keiji continued, reminding them both of the harsh reality. "Li-taichou."
Syaoran swallowed the burst of anger that was threatening to spill. "Of course," he said shortly. "I was just leaving." Sakura noted that a dark, unreadable look had replaced the desire in his eyes.
"W-Wait, Li-kun-" But Keiji was already dragging her to the other side of the dance floor, his hands rough as she was forced to follow.
Syaoran sighed as he watched them leave, knowing that he had to leave this party before his fury escaped. He grabbed a glass of who-knows-what from the tray of a passing server and downed it in a gulp, relishing the hot alcohol slipping down his throat. He made his way off of the dance floor, leaving the empty cup with a slam against one of the passing tables. Its occupants looked up at him in confusion.
It was then that he heard his mother, yet again. She could not have had worse timing. "Ah, Xiao Lang," she said bringing yet another woman close behind her. "This is Zhang Yan, the daughter of the Kam family. We do close business with them, especially up at the Shanghai branch, but her family is from Hong Kong. She's actually interning at the Li branch here." His mother introduced them and he nodded. But honestly, he had already forgotten her name in his irritation. She looked up with him sensually with red pouty lips and long raven hair that fell in a slight curl. Her dress was a black, slinky number that left no room for imagination of her chest area, as a plummeting neckline greeted him unabashedly.
"It's a pleasure, Master Li," she purred.
"Pleasure's mine," he responded boredly, "I'm sorry, but I have to-"
"Since you're already practically on the dance floor," his mother interjected, "why don't you two finish this song?"
A string of curses ran through his head. Like hell would he return to the dance floor where Sakura and Keji were currently sharing a moment. "Mother," he said insistently, almost scowling at her. "I have to-"
"It's just one dance, Xiao Lang," she stated with a curt smile before leaving them without another word.
He sighed as he felt a hand make its way onto his chest. The girl his mother had left him with had lessened the space between them as she pushed him gently towards the center of the room. "It's just one dance."
Syaoran rolled his eyes, grabbing yet another drink to gulp down before being pulled onto the floor by his jacket front. "Fine."
They settled into the space where Syaoran had just left, her arms snaking around his nape. He limply let his hands lay on her waist and as they danced slowly, he willed Tomoyo's song to finish soon. He could spot Sakura and Keiji dancing too as he peered past several heads.
"Parties aren't your thing, huh?"
"Not really," he said curtly, not wanting to indulge in any type of conversation with this woman. He watched distractedly as Sakura's head of auburn hair bobbed lightly with the music.
His dance partner drew her lips seductively close to his ear, his breath against his cheek. "What is your thing then?" Her red lips drew into a smirk. "I hope to be one of them."
For a brief moment, Sakura caught sight of them, a strange look passing her face as she watched the other woman whisper into his ear, her hands all over Syaoran. Syaoran's eyes widened as he realized what she was seeing. And suddenly, their eye contact was broken as Keiji seemed to understand that Sakura's attention was directed elsewhere. He was whisperingly urgently at her, an unreadable, almost scared expression on her face. And then she was yet again being dragged along by him, this time off of the dance floor, heading towards the exit.
"S-Sakura," Syaoran said, letting the name slip through his teeth in worry. A sickening feeling reached its way into his chest and he made a move to follow them. The woman clung desperately to him, blocking his way.
"You promised me a dance," she said with a pout.
He tore away from her clutches with a scowl. "I made no such promise."
And before another word passed between them, the song had ended and he was striding towards the exit, the sickening feeling not leaving him.
Claps were heard as Tomoyo made her way back to Eriol who was beaming at her, awarding her with his own applause. She somehow found herself wrapped in his embrace and he held her close, relishing the feel of having her in his arms. For Tomoyo, being in his arms felt even better than having expressed herself in music, giving everything that she had in that one song she had just finished.
"Thank you, Eriol-kun," she said, her voice muffled as she spoke into his jacket.
He chuckled. "Why are you thanking me?" he asked. "I should be thanking you for blessing us all with that beautiful song."
She pulled away, the familiar smile which he loved so much playing on her lips. "I mean…thank you. For everything. For teaching me that I don't have to give up who I am for Sakura-chan. For anyone."
Eriol felt warmth stirring inside of him as he pulled her into another warm embrace, this time, her soft cheek against his. He was grinning from ear to ear, elated and numb with everything that had happened tonight. She drew back, blessing him with yet another pure smile.
And it was then, staring down at her radiance that he simply couldn't help himself any longer.
His lips slowly captured hers, drawing a quick inhale of surprise from her. But they quickly melted into each other, their kisses long and drawn out, as if relishing every moment. The dancing couples around them disappeared. So did the decorated ballroom which they had planned themselves. All that they were aware of was each other.
They pulled way momentarily, their foreheads touching as they caught their breaths.
"When the party ends, Eriol-kun," Tomoyo said quietly, breathily. "…Come back to my room."
The implication was enough to stir Eriol, to surprise him. He looked at her with a start, her words ringing in his ears, as a strange yearning for her built itself up within his body. Azure eyes stared at her, its depths starting to be infused with desire. "T-Tomoyo…what are you-"
Her bruised lips returned for yet another breathtaking kiss as they lost themselves in a heap of clashing tongues for another few seconds. She withdrew, panting all the more. She was feeling bold, daring. She had never done this before, had never invited a man back to her room to spend the night with him. She had never been with a man…period. But then again, she had never felt the way she did for Hiiragazawa Eriol for any other a man before. And Tomoyo did realized that she was acting irrationally, acting on instinct, acting on pure emotion, things that she had never done before. But she didn't care. She realized that she wasn't feeling like herself and yet, she had never felt as much as herself as now. Tomoyo looked up at his dazed face, amethyst eyes full of pure longing, looking sure of herself.
"Spend the night with me."
Note: "Great power may also serve an opportunity for hardship" is what Li Yelan told Sakura in the first CCS movie.
Ah, I had to split the chapter up yet again! Don't worry, I'm having such a great time writing this that I already have the next part pretty much set. Expect it within the next week or so while I iron out the details. It's a portion of the fanfic that I've been DYING to write so I'm really trying to get it perfect.
By the way, just to clarify, I've said before that this fic would probably end at 13 chapters. So obviously with some chapters being divided, it'll be a little longer.
