CHAPTER TEN
Not a Rejection
Natsu pressed an ice pack to his face and hissed to himself quietly as he stood in the kitchen away from his friends who crowded around the two brothers in the living room.
The friends expressed their concerns and crowded around the raven who looked overwhelmed by the attention and expressions of worry. Jellal played the mediator as he always did and told his friends to give them space as the brothers stayed close and talked quietly together as their friends continued to fuss over them. Erza ordered the small crowd to disperse and head off to bed, never being one to head to bed late-always the one to rise early and seize the day. A few groans were heard and protests were shut quickly as Erza threatened the crowd.
Natsu sat heavily at the kitchen bar, ice pack to his swollen cheek, listening in to his friends shuffling, wondering if he ruined everything as he recalled the hurt look on Gray's face. He mentally kicked himself, anyone would feel hurt in that situation but Gray had misunderstood his intentions, completely.
Natsu was startled from his thoughts as the shrill ringing of Erza's phone resonated through the shared space. The young woman picked up her phone and exchanged a hurried conversation with another council member, her voice becoming annoyed and clipped by the second. She clicked her tongue in frustration as she ended the call and called out to Jellal and Lyon who followed her out of the room in confusion as she explained some private school matters they needed to attend too.
"This late?" Lyon asked as he frowned, gazing back to the room where his brother was preparing his bedding for the night.
Erza sighed. "Yes, unfortunately trouble makers don't exactly follow rules of curfew. We'll be quick, we just have to bare witness to some vandalism as council members. They want to wash it down before school after the long weekend ends."
"They can't send us a picture? Asking us all the way though this late..."
Jellal smiled patiently. "We might miss something with the picture, plus they feel more assured with us there. We won't be gone long."
Lyon frowned and Erza sighed. "Look, come with us for an hour or two and I'll forget what happened earlier with Natsu. We need another critical eye and Jellal says you have a good critical eye. Gray will be fine, you can trust the rest of us with him. We care for him as much as you as his friends."
Lyon sighed and nodded, stepping away to inform his brother. Gray smiled at him understandingly and they exchanged a look of unspoken words and Lyon joined his friends. They passed the open bar area and Lyon glared at Natsu openly.
Natsu knew that look. It was a look that meant to translate "Stay the hell away from my brother."
The pinkette sighed as he heard the door lock and his friends began shuffling about, eager to continue playing now that Erza was out. The friends played amoung themselves, leaving the captain to his musing in the kitchen.
The hollers of protest from Gajeel were heard, the giggles of Lucy filled the night, the quiet muffled laughs of Levy continued, the snickers of Loke and the snorts of Gray filled the house as the friends played a harmless game of cards.
"Cheat!" Gajeel hollered as Lucy squeaked in mock-horror.
Natsu heard the quiet chuckles of Gray which were a rare occurrence and he smiled softly to himself, relief flooding him. He was glad that his teammate was becoming more like himself and less like that stranger who returned from the woods. The stranger who looked like Gray but yet seemed nothing like him, with dead eyes that flickered softly with suppressed pain. Natsu knew there was a complexity to Gray that he would never understand, he knew that his friend was heavily layered by multiple experiences of pain, pain he would never comprehend. He knew that but what he hated was that he was the cause for the onslaught of pain and fear in his friend by rejecting him.
Natsu hadn't meant that. Hell, he wasn't even rejecting him. He was...he was...
He just went about doing things the wrong way.
Natsu was interrupted from his musing and he looked up in confusion as he saw Gajeel standing across from him, on the other side of the bar counter.
"Too much thinking will hurt you Salamander, hell you barely even have any brain left," the elder teen grumbled.
Natsu glared at him. "Ugh, what do you want?
"Not much, just telling you we're heading to bed and for safety reason Erza instructed we all sleep in the same room."
Natsu nodded, lowering his ice pack and turning it to the colder side. "Go ahead, I'll join you guys in a bit."
"Ey...I know it ain't my business n stuff, but you'll fix the stuff with you and Fullbuster...right?"
Natsu lowered his icepack and stared at Gajeel with a serious expression, silently. The elder shifted on his feet in discomfort and grumbled something about Natsu looking more ugly while serious and stalked off to retire for the night.
Natsu sighed and got up, discarding his bag of ice in the sink. He stalked to the bathroom and washed up for the night, changing into a tank top and loose knee-length shorts. He yawned tiredly, scratching the back of his neck as he made his way into the room where the lights were turned off. The only light omitting was from a small lamp in the corner where Levy and Lucy slept together peacefully. Natsu stopped in his tracks as he saw that his bedding was placed strategically right next to Gray who lay on his side, his back to the entrance of the shared sleeping room.
Natsu glared at his sleeping friends as they so conveniently occupied all the remaining space with their bodies and overnight bags, leaving him no choice but to take the futon next to Gray. He couldn't really blame them too much, he knew that this was their way of making them reconcile.
Natsu hoped that Gray was asleep as he walked quietly to the bedding and pulled the covers down. He paused in his actions as he noticed Gray stiffen at the noise. The pinkette cursed his existence, of course Gray would still be awake.
"I...I'm not going to do anything...there's just nowhere else to sleep so...uhm...yeah" Natsu explained awkwardly as Gray kept his back to him, ever-so-stiff and uncomfortable as Natsu slid under the covers, shuffling away from the raven and putting space between them.
Natsu stared at Gray's back and his uncomfortable demeanour, his body language spoke loudly. The captain found himself resenting himself more for hurting him like this. He had to fix this, he had too. If Gajeel-the least caring member of all their friends-expressed his concern then Natsu knew that this was worse then he thought. And of course it was worse then he thought, a hurtful rejection had escalated into a huge fight, causing Gray to run away and causing him to get punched in the face by Gray's enraged brother. Natsu winced uncomfortably at the memory and he touched his swollen cheek. Lyon really knew how to pack a punch.
"Sorry about my brother," Gray whispered softly.
Natsu's eyes widened. He's talking to him...after what he said? After what he caused?
The captain watched in alarm as Gray shuffled around and turned slowly in his sheets to face him. Natsu gazed at his face, he hadn't looked at his face in nearly an hour and it was like he was punched in the gut. Only an hour and he missed him so much. He was becoming so sappy. Gray looked tired, his eyes were swollen and it made Natsu feel twice as guilty knowing that his friend had cried; it barely showed but the pinkette knew that Gray was more vulnerable then he appeared. Natsu gazed into those tired eyes and watched as they roamed his face and lingered on his swollen cheek. The captain watched as Gray extended a pale hand and hovered it over the bruise, retracting it quickly when he realized what he was doing as he shifted his eyes away guiltily.
"Sorry, you probably don't want me touching you," the raven said in a hurt tone.
Natsu wanted to scream. No, no, you're wrong. It isn't like that at all. He reached forward quickly and seized Gray's pale hand as the raven froze, eyes wide and looking at him in alarm. Natsu pulled his hand and laid it on his swollen cheek carefully, mindful of the bruise, sighing at the cool touch of the other's palm to his heated skin.
"Natsu...I...I don't get you" Gray said weakly as he stared at him with confused and hurt eyes.
"I'm sorry," Natsu whispered. "This is all so messed up but you rushed off before I got to explain myself and Lyon got too angry and my wording was off and you and everyone misunderstood..."
Gray stared at him patiently. "You didn't want to kiss me, right?"
Natsu nodded. "Yes, I didn't."
"Oh. I...I see" Gray tried to retract his hand but Natsu held on firmly and the raven gazed at him blinking in exhaustion.
"Natsu, you..what do you want from me? You don't like me, you looked disgusted at the idea of kissing me...don't touch me like this, it's too confusing. I'm too tired to play any guessing games."
Natsu released his hand with a sigh and shuffled closer as Gray watched him carefully as their futons touched, merging into one large futon.
"It's not that I don't like you, it's quite the opposite actually...it's just..." the pinkette chewed on his bottom lip nervously as his cheeks began to warm up as he averted his gaze. "Uhm...I didn't want to k-kiss you..."
Gray glared at him. "I know, you made that very clear," he said, beginning to turn away from him but Natsu shot out his arm and held onto Gray's shoulder, preventing him from giving his back to him.
Gray pushed at Natsu's arm, "Let go, you asshole," he hissed quietly, mindful of their sleeping friends. "Why are you even touching me? Don't you hate me? You looked damn repulsed, let me go you stupid furnace!"
Natsu struggled with the raven as he pulled him into his body as the other continued cursing him, his voice hurt and pained.
"You...you rejected me in front of everyone! Like I'm gross or something, like...like... I don't know...like I'm hideous or something!"
Natsu held Gray to his chest and allowed the other to vent out as he banged his hands on his chest.
"You made me feel unwanted...I ran away like...like a little kid...it's too humiliating and I worried everyone...screw you Natsu! Screw you! That really hurt! You could've joked or something, you didn't have to be so firm and serious! If you hated me that much..." The raven's voice broke and he hissed in annoyance at his own weakness.
Natsu held him and ran a hand up and down the other's back in a comforting motion. "I know, I know; I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he repeated like a mantra as Gray listed off his grievances against him.
The captain held him in his arms as the other began calming down, his pale hands fisting into the other's tank top as he rested his head on the other's shoulder.
"Gray."
"What?" The raven snapped, his voice tired as he remained slack in the other's arms.
"You're beautiful."
Silence.
"Wha-what?" The other froze in his arms and he pushed away from Natsu and the pinkette loosened his grip so they can look at each other.
"You're beautiful." Natsu repeated honestly and firmly as Gray stared at him with a lost expression.
"Where's this even coming from?" He whispered weakly.
Natsu smiled at him tenderly. "You wondered if I rejected you because you were hideous or something so I wanted to tell you that I think you're beautiful. Very beautiful."
Gray's eyes widened and he flushed deeply, his hands tightening on Natsu's shirt.
"Also you're not gross, you're hmm...pleasant? And kind and caring and just so many wonderful things, you literally encompass all the positive characteristics humans carry."
Gray remained silent as Natsu continued soothing him, his voice soft in the night and hush of the room, his hands gentle as they continued to hold him close but loose enough for him to break away.
"Also I touch you because I like touching you...not to sound creepy or anything...it just ehm feels right? Good? Oh wow, that totally sounds creepy. Uhm oh and I don't hate you, I really really really like you, maybe too much, a little over too much. To be honest, I don't think I can ever hate you really. This is getting embarrassing ah, also I wasn't repulsed, I was actually very elated when the bottle landed on us, I really wanted to just grab you and uhm yeah...but I knew I couldn't...I couldn't do that to you and that thought made me have that look...it wasn't you, it was because I couldn't."
"But why?" Gray asked in a small voice, looking at him with hopeful eyes.
Natsu stared into those lovely eyes and gazed at the beautiful creature before him and smiled at him as if he was the most precious thing in the world.
"Because it felt wrong Gray," he explained in a tender voice. "To just kiss you in a game, in front of everyone like its some show because I'm forced to do it because of a stupid bottle, because you were being forced as well in that situation. And I would never want to force you into anything you don't want to do."
Gray remained silent, eyes wide as he let it all sink in slowly. Natsu chuckled in amusement at his stunned reaction and reached over, touching the swollen skin under his eyes delicately.
"I'm sorry about everything. I should've spoken up sooner, made my thoughts clearer. I really never meant to hurt you...I just didn't want to kiss you in some stupid game, you're worth so much more then that-so much Gray you have no idea-so it isn't your fault; I just wanted to respect you as a person."
Natsu stared at him patiently, waiting for the raven to deliver his judgement.
"Thank you, Natsu." The raven said as he cracked the first smile at him after the evening's event. Natsu felt relief coarse through his body and he grinned happily. "No problem, Gray."
The two stared at each other, Gray smiling timidly and Natsu grinning. Both began to chuckle quietly at themselves for being such idiots and they hushed one another as they glanced at their friends worriedly as they shuffled in their futons nearby.
"Hey Gray, come here," Natsu said quietly as he opened his blanket.
Gray arched an eyebrow. "But it's not that cold." He said as he shuffled out of his sheets.
"It's going to get chilly later. I'm fine because like you said-a furnace-but I'm worried about my ice princess over here," the pinkette said playfully as he took hold of Gray's arm and helped him into his futon.
Gray paused momentarily. "Did you just...princess?"
Natsu chuckled as Gray blinked down at him. "Nope, but if you do want to be my princess, I shall heed your call, my lady."
Gray snorted and smacked the captain on the head as he slid in next to him. The space was tight and little but Gray never felt more comfortable. He had shared sleeping space with Natsu before but this was different, both of them were awake and they were consenting. Even the air around them felt different, something had changed between them. Gray wasn't sure what but he didn't dislike the change.
Natsu shuffled around to make himself more comfortable and turned on his side, facing his sleeping partner.
"Can I hold you?" He asked softly.
Gray nodded in the dark and shuffled closer till he was pressed against his captain's firm body. He needed this. He needed his warmth and his soothing presence. Natsu responded by bringing him closer, wrapping an arm around the raven's waist and encasing him in his warm embrace.
"Come closer" he whispered in his ear as Gray shivered from the touch and complied, moving further into his hold and resting his head between the space where the captain's neck and shoulder met. Natsu hummed in approval as he felt Gray's soft breath against his exposed neck.
"Tell me if this is okay," Natsu warned softly before he shuffled a leg in between Gray's thin ones.
Gray closed his eyes and breathed evenly. This position, the level of intimacy, he was unused to it but he really liked the sensation.
"Okay?" Natsu whispered as he tangled their limbs together, running a hand soothingly across Gray's nape.
The raven closed his eyes and focused on the sensation, the soft whisper of Natsu's voice in his ear, the feeling of his firm legs entwined with his and the feeling of his heated skin under his cheek. It was a sensational overload and he wanted nothing more then to bask in this feeling.
"Yeah," he whispered softly, as he wrapped an arm around Natsu's chest, wanting to hold him as well. He felt Natsu's smile in his voice as he wished him a good night and he reciprocated by tightening his hold further, not wanting to let go of his captain; wanting to keep him close and in his arms.
That night Gray Fullbuster dreamt that he was a prince cursed into a deep slumber and strangely his spell was broken by the kiss of an enchanted furnace...
Author's Note: Wow, it's been so long. Whoops? Hehe, thanks for the support guys, reviews are very much appreciated 3
