Summary: Josie's family has fallen apart and she has to pick up the pieces. Her new brother and sister need her, but she still has some growing up to do. Draco Malfoy has always tormented her, but can she get past that and let him help? Rated M for mature content.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. That's all on J.K. Rowling.
Waking up the next morning was not pleasant. I had a raging headache, screaming babies in need of changing and feeding, and problems out the ass. Last night was a complete catastrophe. As soon as Draco slammed his door, Amanda stomped off mumbling and cursing. Annalise looked on the verge of tears, apologized for being 'stupid' as she said, and ran off before I could say anything. I went to my room to prepare for bed when I heard sounds coming from Draco's room that created knots in my stomach. I wanted to go to him, make sure he was okay, but this whole mess was my fault in the first place.
I was being greedy, wanting to be with my best friends that I had missed so much, but wanting to keep making progress with Draco, also. So I had asked Amanda and Annalise to stay in a house that wasn't even mine and Draco had hesitantly agreed for my sake. Now, Draco and Amanda hate each other, putting Annalise and I in a very uncomfortable situation. I went down to the kitchen rubbing my head and trying to calm the thoughts in my crowded brain. I did my normal routine of bottle making and potion taking before heading back upstairs to my babies.
"I think it will be just us three today, darlins," I said picking both babies up and placing them on the huge bed. "How bout a bath for you munchkins?" Noah chewed on his fist vigorously and Abby kicked and giggled. Despite everything, a huge smile lit up my face and I laughed out loud. My headache subsided as I kissed and played with the most amazing babies on the planet. I put their bath time chairs in the tub and ran warm water that would go up a little past their knees. I washed them up and then got them out and put their diapers on. Changing them into comfy clothes, the bottles became their focus as they each drifted off into a nap. The rest of the day went along about the same way, feed, sleep, play, and change.
I didn't hear nor see the other three inhabitants of the house, so I packed my bags and prepared for bed. Tomorrow would make or break all of my plans. First and foremost, I had to figure out the arrangements for Noah and Abby at Hogwarts, and then there was my father and my friends. I still wasn't sure if Draco would continue to support me at Hogwarts or abandon me for his reputation; only time would tell. I wasn't sure where I stood with Amanda and Annalise, so that would be settled tomorrow, as well. My dad worried me the most. I tried not to think of him. He scared me down to the core of my bones and I didn't know what his next move would be. Despite the overload of thoughts, sleep took me as soon as I laid down. The dream I had that night was not a good one.
Six o'clock came around quickly. I sat up and noticed I had been crying in my sleep. I wasn't sure what about, but I didn't want to try to think about it. Noah wasn't up yet, but Abby was already wide awake. I picked her up and gave her Eskimo kisses before getting a diaper and clothes for her. I pulled out a long sleeved, purple onesie and a flowery purple dress. We had people to impress today, so we would all certainly look our best. I also put on some lavender socks. It was still summer, so I left her legs bare. If she got cold, I could always wrap her up in a blanket. I put a light purple hat in her bag and her pink blanket. The rest of their clothes were going in the suitcase. I pulled out some navy cargo pants for Noah and a short sleeved, grey and navy shirt with a walrus on the front. I thought it looked cute. As soon as I had his clothes laid out on the bed, I heard whimpers coming from his crib, alerting me that he was awake. I put Abby down on her playmate and turned on some Mozart. As I tried to dress his screaming and squirming form, I noticed that he seemed to be rather cranky today. Now was about the time that I wished Libby would just appear to help me out. Poof! The little house elf appeared in the room, making me jump.
"What would you like me to help you with, miss?" Wicked, the house elves respond to thoughts.
"Um, could you feed Noah and Abby while I take a shower?" She smiled affectionately at the babies.
"I would love to. I will miss them very much when you leave." I smiled at her and walked into the bathroom.
I made sure not to take too long in the shower, although it was hard to pull myself away. My bruises were fading nicely. They were still obvious against my pale skin, but they looked better and didn't cause me much pain. I picked out some ripped blue jeans and a button down flannel shirt. Dressing nicer probably would have been smart, but I never claimed to be smart. I like being comfortable.
The clock said eight and I figured we'd leave at nine and be there by ten, so I went to get breakfast. Draco sat at the table looking tired and utterly a mess. He didn't even look up when I walked in the room. The house elves made pancakes, so I coated mine with peanut butter and then syrup. I brought my plate to the table and a house elf set a glass of milk in front of me.
"Thank you," I said softly. He bowed and left the room. Draco looked up at me and my breath hitched in my throat. His eyes were dark, but so deep that I was afraid of falling in. It was obvious he had a lot on his mind. "R-rough night?" I stammered cutting up my pancakes; no smile, not even a smirk.
"Just stressed about school." His voice was weak. I looked down at his hands on the table and noticed the scabs forming on his knuckles.
"Draco, what happened to your hand?" I looked up at him and he shoved his hands under the table.
"Nothing," he muttered tersely.
"Obviously something. Draco, talk to me." I reached out to touch his face and I almost thought he was going to turn away from my touch. Almost. He hesitated before leaning in and putting his warm hand on mine. He took my hand and kissed each knuckle individually before turning it over to kiss the palm. I savored the feeling of his lips on my skin and enjoyed the simplicity of his actions.
"Don't worry about it," he whispered, his breath blowing against my skin. Despite the fact that I wanted him to continue showering my hand and my arm with kisses, his words brought me back down to earth. I yanked my hand away and he looked at me quizzically.
"I trust you even though everything, including my best friends, tell me not to. The least you could do is trust me back."
He sighed and began rubbing the bridge of his nose. He did that a lot when he was frustrated or mad.
"It has nothing to do with trust," he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at me. I knew he would fold even if I pushed him to, so I tried something that I knew was futile and a bad idea. I focused intently and began to attack his mind. I hadn't seen a thing before his walls were up. We were both equally talented, so this would just lead to exhaustion for both of us. I retracted my mind from his meeting his furious gaze.
"I'm sorry…" I began to say before he cut me off.
"Stay out of my head," he muttered through gritted teeth. "That stuff is private and there's a reason I don't tell you things. You wouldn't understand and you wouldn't like what you found."
"Why don't you let me be the judge of that? I would have to resort to attacking your mind if you would just tell me what's going on. I'll find out sooner or later." I shot him a glare before taking another bite of my pancakes.
"I'd rather it be later than sooner. Don't try entering my mind again." He ended the conversation with the tone of his voice and I decided I wouldn't push him. If he was going to tell me, it would be in his own time.
"Ha, so now you know how it feels? Good riddance…" Amanda entered the room and I could feel the sudden tension in the room.
"Why do you talk?" he muttered, exasperated. "Why do you breathe? God knows we'd all be better off if you didn't." I heard his knuckles crack as his hands turned to fists. I scarfed down the rest of my breakfast, trying desperately to figure out what to say to end this.
"What would the devil's spawn know about God?" She glared as she scooped a few pancakes on her plate.
I rubbed my temples in annoyance.
"This is ridiculous." They both looked at me and I just rolled my eyes. "We're all pretty close to being adults here; can we act like it?"
Amanda turned back around and Draco glared down at the table.
"Tell him that," Amanda muttered. Draco stood up so suddenly that his chair toppled backwards causing a loud crash to reverberate through the room.
"The day you start acting like an adult is the day Hogwarts turns into a male strip club." Amanda's eyes turned to fire at Draco's words.
"You are both so immature! At each other's throats everyday, bickering about nothing, can't you guys just put the past behind you and move on?" They both looked away angrily, signifying an obvious no. "Fine! We only have a few hours left so just avoid each other until then. I swear I'll lose the last bits of sanity I have left if you guys keep this up." I left the kitchen quickly, heading back to my room. It was eight thirty by the time I got back up to my room. Noah and Abby were sleeping peacefully and my bags were neatly stacked next to the bed.
"So what are the boys like at Hogwarts?" I smiled as I turned around to see Annalise in the doorway.
"There's a good amount of very attractive boys there; plenty for you to choose from. And I guarantee that you'll have most of them chasing after you." She blushed at my comment and I picked up the baby car seats.
"You give me too much credit. I'm not saying I'm ugly, but I'm really weird, which takes away from the little beauty I do have." Sighing, I picked up Noah and gently set him in one of the car seats. He stirred for a few seconds before drifting back to sleep. Abby didn't seem to notice the movement.
"You don't give yourself enough credit. You're absolutely gorgeous. The guys at Hogwarts will be tripping over themselves when they get a glimpse of you. I give it two and a half to three weeks. By then, I'd be willing to bet that you had found someone." She picked up Noah's car seat as I picked up Abby's.
"We'll see," she whispered as we walked downstairs. The house elves levitated our bags down the stairs to where Draco and Amanda were standing. They had their backs to each other, scowling.
"Is everyone ready to go?" I asked with enthusiasm. Hogwarts was practically calling my name.
"Yeah, the limo is waiting." Draco's mood hadn't improved since this morning. We had the car packed and ready to go in about five minutes and not long later we were getting out of the car in front of the train station.
The house elf that accompanied us shrunk our luggage, including the car seats, since we couldn't do magic until we got on the train. I put on the baby carriers, Noah in his front carrier and Abby in the back, before heading toward platform 9 ¾. All three of my companions offered to carry one of the babies, but I didn't think it was a good idea. First impressions are very important, so I wanted Amanda and Annalise to start off on the right foot; being seen carrying a baby wouldn't help. It was obvious to me that Draco hadn't quite figured out how he was going to incorporate me into his school life. I would let him get adjusted before I asked him about it, but people would most likely notice if we walked in together with two babies. Taking Noah and Abby myself seemed to be the best plan to me.
"Where are you sitting?" I whispered to Draco after we went through the barrier. He looked conflicted and I felt the guilt suddenly well up inside me. "I won't be mad if you sit with your friends. It's not like I'll never see you again."
\He smiled down at me, although his eyes still seemed troubled.
"I'll walk you to the compartment you decide to sit in and stay with you until the train starts moving. We can meet up later at school. I'd like to say goodbye to you in private though." I tried to control the blush on my cheeks, but it was futile. He smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of my head.
"That sounds brilliant." Amanda, Annalise, and I decided to take one of the compartments at the back of the train. Draco put his stuff in the compartment that he usually sat in before joining us. Amanda was less than pleased to be in such a close proximity with him, so Annalise dragged her out to socialize. I would have to thank Annalise later. I unpacked one of the cribs and laid the babies in it. Surprisingly, they were still sound asleep. They're presence was still unknown to most of Hogwarts because we got there so early. I was certain that those who saw would spread the news quickly though. Draco pulled Lord of the Rings Return of the King out of his overcoat before shrugging it off.
"You brought that for me?"
He nodded, smiling and I couldn't help the excitement that bubbled up inside me. He knew exactly what to do to make me melt. He sat down with his back against the wall opposite the crib. He motioned for me to sit with him and I looked at him quizzically. Standing swiftly, he had his arms around my waist, pulling me down to the seat. I tensed, but relaxed after a few seconds. He was leaning on the wall again with me sitting between his legs, leaning on his chest. I opened up the book and began reading, a little too comfortable for my own good. After a minute or so he began twirling my hair between his fingers. I leaned my head back keeping my eyes on the book. He surprised me when he began singing quietly right next to my ear.
She said "I've gotta be honest, All wrong.
You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here."
And I said "you must be mistaken,
I'm not fooling... this feeling is real"
She said "you gotta be crazy,
What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?
"You've got wits, you've got looks,
You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong."
All wrong.
But you got me...
I lowered my book at the sound of his lovely voice. I wouldn't have guessed Draco Malfoy as the singing type. His voice gave me goose bumps and I couldn't get enough. He nuzzled his face in my neck before continuing.
I'll be true, I'll be useful...
I'll be cavalier...I'll be yours my dear.
And I'll belong to you...
If you'll just let me through.
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?
The hand that wasn't playing with my hair was stroking my arm tenderly. He couldn't have picked a better song, or a song that could have made me more nervous. Could I really handle this? I, a social reject, attempting to be with him, a social elite. Impossible.
And I said "I've gotta be honest
I've been waiting for you all my life."
For so long I thought I was asylum bound,
But just seeing you makes me think twice.
And being with you here makes me sane,
I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side.
You've got wits... you've got looks,
You've got passion but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?
Tonight.
Tonight.
But you've got me...
And yet, he had me picturing it, imagining it. He made me think, about the way my hands fit in his, the way his gaze gives me confidence, the way his touch brings out reactions that I didn't know existed from my body, the way his kiss chills me to the bone and yet warms my blood. I wanted so bad to believe it could happen.
I'll be true, I'll be useful...
I'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
And I'll belong to you...
If you'll just let me through.
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
I closed my eyes as he ended the song with a kiss to my neck. He ran his hand down the length of my arm, closing the book that immediately dropped from my hand. The same hand made its way back up my arm, up my neck to turn my face right into Draco's lips. The kiss sent my senses on high alert. He shifted so that he was sitting up on the seat with me, bridal style, in his lap. His arms constricted around my waist in the best way as I held onto him for dear life. The intensity of the kiss grew as he licked my bottom lip. I opened my mouth, letting him explore its interior before doing the same to his. I sucked, hungrily, on his bottom lip. There was a need in the kiss, a desperation for the moment to last forever. Unfortunately, the need for oxygen separated us. Breathless and only focused on one another, we stared into each other's eyes, not sure what to do next. The whistle of the train brought us out of our revere. I reluctantly stood up with Draco following suit.
"I…I don't want you to leave," I whispered looking away. He lifted my chin so that I was looking at him again before touching his lips to mine. I reacted, pushing him against the door before working my arms around his neck. I didn't know if I would ever get enough of the feeling of his lips on mine. He rested his hands on my waist as the kiss continued to deepen. In a desperate attempt to make him stay, I ground my hips against his getting an immediate reaction. He pushed me away gently, eyes closed and breathing irregular. I backed away, worried I had done something wrong, before he worked his arms back around my waist.
"Behave, love. Need I remind you that the kids are present?" I smiled as he hugged me tightly. "I'll see you later tonight. We can talk then." He kissed my head before leaving me in a hurricane of emotions. As if on cue, Abby began crying, which sparked Noah's tears. I turned away from the door, trying not to think about the boy who was working his way into my heart. As for that boy, he sat in the compartment with his friends, silent as the wind. He looked out the window, keeping his face expressionless, thinking about the girl who captivated him.
Author's Notes: I know I'm terrible about updating, but I try. I had about half of this chapter typed up before my lovely sister thought it would be funny to delete it all, so it was back to the drawing board. I started over and I think it turned out pretty well. The song is As Lovers Go by Dashboard Confessional. I thought it fit well. This chapter was longer than I thought it was going to be. I had planned on having them at Hogwarts by the end of the chapter, but obviously that didn't happen. This isn't edited yet, but hopefully it will be soon. R&R I have some of the next chapter typed, so it should be up soon :)
