i typed this whole chapter on my brother's laptop. y'all should be proud of me. it was tough. but it's over now. and i love envy. and roy. now, before i spoil anything...
Chapter 11
forever and always
/He sleeps with his stomach out,/ Envy thought. It was almost endearing - made Ed seem less like an asshole, or an enemy, and more like a human being.
"You should probably wake him up," Envy told Al, who was standing in the bedroom doorway next to him, also looking at Ed sprawled across his bed. "I'd do it, but he'd probably bite. Or something."
After their fight a week days before, Ed seemed to have resigned himself to Envy's presence. The long-haired teenager didn't know where he had gone when he stormed out of the house, but when he walked back in he had, albeit grudgingly, said Envy could stay. And then locked himself in his room.
Envy hadn't seen much of him since then, as he seemed to be doing his best to avoid the teenager - which was fine! As long as Envy had a place to sleep and wasn't getting punched around, or, you know, raped, life was good.
For the most part. It would be better if Kimbley would stop texting him already.
"I'll wake him up in a minute," Al replied, turning away. "It's only ten thirty. He probably stayed up late last night anyway."
Envy followed him back to the kitchen. "You're such a nice brother," he said, only half meaning his sarcastic tone.
Alphonse shrugged and smiled. "He'd do the same for me."
Feeling that he had been exposed to an entirely different side of Ed, Envy wisely kept his mouth shut.
"Today's Thursday," Al declared as he returned to the sink and donned the yellow rubber gloves he used when washing dishes.
The rush of water into the sink almost drowned out Envy's reply. "So?"
"Um, well, we didn't leave last week because Ed didn't want to, um, leave the house..." Al trailed off, letting Envy know that the reason for the interruption in their schedule was an awkward subject. Probably something like, 'We can't leave that bastard alone in the house' or something. "But we'll probably be out for most of the day today." He shrugged and gave Envy an apologetic smile. "You'd probably be bored half to death if you came, anyway."
/And Ed doesn't want me there, I'd bet,/ Envy thought wryly. "That's okay," he said out loud. "I'll be fine here. I'll watch TV or something."
"All right. I'm really sorry that we're leaving you and stuff."
"No, no, it's your life, it's fine." Envy waved a hand. He was a bit surprised at how much Al tried to include him in their family life, as it were - like he was actually a member of the family instead of some kind of leech. He barely even knew the kid, but Al was already apologizing that he were unable to spend the day with them. As if Envy wanted to spend any more time than necessary with Ed. Al - that would be okay, it'd just feel weird.
Their conversation was halted by a slamming door from down the hall. /And here comes Ed,/ Envy thought with an eye roll.
"Al!" the blonde called, rushing into the kitchen and confirming Envy's suspicions. "Al, we've gotta go! It's past ten thirty; we're going to be late! Why didn't you wake me up?" He skidded to a halt, pulling on his shirt and glancing wildly around the room. It was as if he didn't even see Envy. "Come on, come on!"
Sighing, Alphonse turned off the sink, pulled off his gloves, and smoothed his dark blonde hair back from his eyes. "Sorry, big brother. You looked so peaceful... even though you were sleeping with your stomach out again." He grinned.
"Aw, come on, Al, you know we have to get out of the house!" He rummaged through the fridge, grabbed a bottle of Coke, and ran out of the house. "Winry got the car back to us! I'll be waiting for you in the parking lot!"
Al finished straightening the kitchen, then turned to give Envy another apologetic look. "Sorry about this," he said again. "There's food in the fridge - feel free to help yourself for lunch. Um, I don't think Ed would be comfortable if you left, or went in his room, so..." He looked away. "Um, sorry again."
"It's fine," Envy said for what felt like the hundredth time since he had begun staying with the Elrics. "I'll just sit on the couch, watch TV... you know."
"Okay." Grabbing a bottled water for himself, Al headed out the door. "Bye, Envy!"
Envy gave the boy a bemused wave, wondering, not for the first time, why Al cared so much. "See ya."
---
Rose opened the guitar case with an almost reverent care, unlocking the silver clasps with four identical snaps and then lifting the leather lid with a small indrawn breath. It was still there, still beautiful.
Her guitar wasn't one of those tacky electric ones, or even a cheap acoustic - made out of dark, softly shining wood and designed with a female owner in mind, it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. The most beautiful thing she owned, now that Cain was gone.
Cain. Cain.
As she lifted the guitar out of its case, she gripped the neck with probably more vehemence than necessary. But she wouldn't cry. She was done crying. Done crying. Cain wasn't worth another minute of her time. He had broken up with her; it wasn't her fault...
But the fact that he had broken up with her meant that she had done something to make him want to leave. /I love you, let's be together forever, Rose. I love you more than anything./
/Get away from me! I never want to see you again!/
But it wasn't her fault. Winry had said it wasn't her fault.
/It's all your fault./ Cain had said it was all her fault. What did she do? She didn't know who to believe. She didn't know why - didn't understand.
Rose sat down on her bed - her borrowed bed, Winry's bed - and strummed each of the guitar strings in turn - E, A, D, G, B, E - and then back down again - E, B, G, D, A, E. It was out of tune, but she could take care of that.
Deep down, Rose knew why Cain had broken up with her. And even deeper, she knew that crying over it was the most irrational thing she could do - half of the fault lied with him. More than half, probably. Still - she was the one pregnant, she was the one going through all this pain, she was the one who had gotten dropped and dumped and left all alone.
It wasn't any use any more. She choked on a sob, blinked furiously in an effort to clear away her tears, and then strummed several cords in quick succession. A minor, E minor, A Major. And again. And again, pressing her fingers so hard against the steel strings that they began to hurt with the friction.
/It's all your fault./
/It's not your fault./
Whoever was to blame, Cain was gone. After saying he loved her, would do anything for her, would die for her - after they had plannned a future together, planned to get married right out of high school - he was gone.
The closest she had been to him in the past week was when Winry had driven her to his apartment building. It had been a Saturday, and she knew he left to hang out with his friends for the majority of the day. Her fingers had been shaking as she unlocked it with her borrowed key, and Winry's hand on her shoulder was the only thing that kept her from breaking down then and there.
His scent - aftershave and cologne and a certain Cain-ness that was unique to him - filled the apartment, and tears were running down her face as she gathered her clothes, her books and papers, her guitar. On the way back, Winry hadn't spoken at all, and she was glad.
D minor, D Major, G Major.
She had her guitar now, she had her music back, and that was worth more to her than all the clothes in her closet, all the money she had managed to save. But it wasn't worth Cain. Rose would have gladly given up everything if she would have been allowed to stay with him.
The guitar rested against her stomach as she launched into the opening notes of one of her songs. It felt strange to know that there was a baby inside of her - strange and more than a little frightening. And there was no one, no one to help her.
It wasn't fair.
/It's all your fault./
/It isn't your fault./
She didn't understand it. She didn't understand anything. And she hated it. She hated it. Everything.
By the time she finished her song with a slow E minor chord, tears were streaming down her face. And she couldn't do anything to stop them.
---
When the doorbell rang, Envy was sleeping. It brought him out of his half-slumber, and he turned over, kicking his thin sheet to the floor. Someone would answer the door, eventually.
It rang again and he groaned. "Dorchet... get the damn door..." As soon as he had spoken he came awake completely and blinked a few times. Right. He wasn't at home. He was at someone else's house - or rather, someone else's apartment. And it was their doorbell that was ringing, and no one was going to answer it unless he did.
Reluctantly, he hauled himself up and padded to the doorway. He realized as his hand was on the knob that this might be a UPS man, or some other unimportant visitor, or maybe it was someone very important that the Elrics would not want him to see.
Like... a social worker or something.
Envy didn't want to screw Al over, or anything like that, but Ed had been such an ass lately (an arrogant ass now, after their fight) that he let his vindictive streak get the better of him. He cracked open the door.
Roy Mustang was standing there wearing his customary long sleeved, white collared shirt, even though school was out and it was boiling hot outside. "Edward?" he asked, peering inside.
Startled, Envy took a step back and accidentally opened the door all the way. "What. The hell."
"Envy?" Roy asked incredulously at the same time Envy said, "Mustang?"
Without being invited in, the drama teacher stepped into the small apartment. Nervous as he always was around adults he almost respected, Envy took a few steps back and glanced over at the couch in the hope that it wasn't as messy as he thought it was. No such luck.
"Envy?" Roy asked again. "Uh... what are you doing here?"
Envy glanced at Roy, looked out the door behind him (ostensibly checking to see if Ed and Al had returned), then backed up towards the kitchen. "Er, it's a long story," he said. "I don't know if it's allowed but... would you like to come in?"
"Allowed?" Mustang quirked an eyebrow. "Since when are you concerned with whether or not something's allowed?"
Giving a nervous laugh, the long-haired teenager led the way into the kitchen. "I'm not," he said, glaring at the table when he realized he was sounding defensive. "It's just that... they're letting me stay here. So I have to behave."
Mustang frowned, took a seat at the kitchen table, and looked up at Envy, who was still standing. "They're letting you stay here?"
"I told you," Envy replied with an ironic grin. "Long story."
---
"Kicked out of your home, huh?" Mustang asked, leaning his chair back and folding his fingers together over his chest. Envy, amused, thought it was a gesture an old man would make. "That's pretty harsh. And then... Kimbley really did that to you?"
"Uh-huh." Envy nodded. "But you're the only one I'd tell that to, so you had better keep your mouth shut." He glared half-heartedly at Roy. "Got it?"
The drama teacher chuckled. "I appreciate your trust in me, Envy," he said lazily. "And I'm not going to tell anyone. Even if I wanted to, who could I talk to? It's obvious now that your mom doesn't care."
"Yeah, well, that was obvious from the beginning."
"I don't know, Envy," Roy replied. "I'm sure nearly everyone from school would want to have a life like yours. Rich, famous mom and famous dad, living in a mansion with a butler, everything you want handed to you on a silver platter..."
Envy squirmed a little in his seat and turned away from Roy to look out the window. Still hot, still sunny, still Central. "Don't say it like that, Mustang. It sounds insulting."
"Insulting?" Another chuckle. "You really have changed, Envy. A month ago you would have laughed and said something about your innate superiority."
The long-haired teenager sighed and leaned his chin on the table, gazing at Roy through a curtain of dyed green hair. "Would I have?" He paused and thought a moment, but could come up with nothing more than a limp, "That's interesting."
Frowning, the drama teacher straightened and leaned forward to peer at Envy's face. "You sure you're all right? You look kind of, you know..."
"Kind of what?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "Bedraggled? Dull? Depressed?" A pause. "...Horny?"
"Yeah, well, the best thing I've done for two and a half weeks is sleep for the entire day on that couch." He gestured towards the living room. "It's definitely not the greatest way to spend the summer."
Roy snorted. "I can imagine. Still, I'm surprised no one's called you. After all, you might not have been Mr. Personality, but you were sure Mr. Popular."
Envy blinked, sat straight and stared at Roy, then blinked again. "What the hell. Your jokes are worse than Kimbley's."
Ignoring Roy's smug, "I try," he continued. "I got a few texts from girls, but..." He fished his cell phone from the pocket of his shorts. "Take a look."
Raising an eyebrow, the teacher flipped open the phone, taking a few moments to figure out the screen and then browsing through the inbox. When he returned it, both eyebrows were raised and his expression was faintly disgusted. "I see."
"That's how much of a bastard Kimbley is. I don't see why he practically date rapes me and then pretends that we're consensual fuck buddies. The only reason I keep this damn phone on is because... because..." He bit his lip and looked away.
Propping his chin up with one hand, Roy contemplated Envy's face. "Because you're hoping that your mother will call and you'll be able to go back?"
"No!" Envy snapped, and then reconsidered. "Well... yes. A little. I mean, I don't really want her to call but I keep thinking, what if she does and I have my phone off and I miss my one chance? But then, what if she does call to forgive me? I don't know if I can forgive her and I don't want to just go back like it was nothing and I'm totally okay with her abandoning me! But..." His next words were whispered. "I want to go back, a little."
Roy, eyes wide, said nothing, until Envy blushed and shook his head violently. "Shut up! I know I sound like an idiot, okay? Leave me alone." He hunched his shoulders defensively.
His outburst broke the silence, and Mustang shook his head. "Look, it's fine. I'm just glad you're admitting how you feel instead of keeping it all inside. Now that you know what you want, you'll be able to figure out what to do if she does call. And you'll be able to plan where you'll go if she doesn't."
Envy's blush didn't fade. "Stop being all mature," he muttered. "I told you so you could sympathize with me, not so you could be all mature and offer 'adult solutions'." He hmph-ed and glanced away. "You're lucky I trust you."
"And I'm flattered by your trust."
There was another short silence, and Envy fidgeted until he had to ask, "So, really, what are you doing here?"
Mustang laughed. "You mean, why did I come calling to one of my student's houses in the middle of summer for no apparent reason?"
A nod. "Duh."
The teacher shrugged. "I suppose you could say I'm a family friend, more or less. The Elric family is something like... the friends of a friend. And that friend requested that I make a visit to check on the boys, since I already know Ed." He smirked. "To tell the truth, I'm almost glad that the brothers weren't around today. I'm definitely not Edward's favorite person, that's for sure."
"That makes absolutely no sense," Envy muttered. He looked at Mustang, then averted his eyes. "I'm glad you came, though. It's hard living with nothing but blatant hostility, twenty-four/seven, even if Al does try his best."
"So Edward's still angry with you? You told me that you two had a fight; I was under the impression that it had been some kind of a catharsis. You know, after the big fight, archenemies become best friends."
Envy snorted. "Maybe on television. Now things are just really awkward. He's all aloof and stupid and he ignores me. But he still hates me, I think." He rolled his eyes. "Not that I care if he's being an arrogant, ignorant prick. It's just kinda annoying."
"Well," Mustang smiled innocently, "it's a good experience for you."
"What?" Envy asked, his voice flat.
"Being on the receiving end of that kind of treatment." His smile widened and turned into a devilish smirk. "After all, you've given it long enough."
Envy stood and slammed both hands on the table. "Mustang, you bastard! You were waiting to say that the whole time! Asshole!"
The drama teacher raised an eyebrow, still smirking. "And if I was?" he asked nonchalantly. "Regardless, Envy, I had better get going now. No offense to you, or anything, but you're not girly enough that I can miss a hot date for you."
"Good!" Envy said, shoving towards the door. "Get out of here!"
Roy paused on the doorstep, to get out his wallet and hand Envy a business card. His eyes were earnest when they met Envy's. "Look, if you need any help just call my cell phone." He scribbled the number on the back of the square of paper and handed it to Envy. "And," he said, as he was standing at the top of the stairs and preparing to leave for good, "if it's any consolation, you're one of my favorite students because you can act, not because your mother can."
As the womanizing drama instructor disappeared down the stairs, Envy smiled despite himself - a small, genuinely happy smile, the type of smile he hadn't worn in years. So maybe he had one real friend.
It was a start, if nothing else. A good start.
---
"Forever and Always" by Taylor Swift
Sorry if the song doesn't really fit. At the moment, I'm on my brother's laptop and I don't have access to any of my music. This is what I was planning to title the chapter with, and the only song that kinda-sorta-maybe could work.
Anyway, today marks the end of my challenge with Potions for Foxes and... I dunno who wins but at least I updated, right? Sorry I didn't reply to many reviews last chapter; I appreciate them. And sorry about the random Rose section. But I really like her, a lot... and I needed to stick it in somewhere. Heh.
Reviews & con crit appreciated as always.
