A/N: Thank you so much to everyone for their kind words. For a long time there were no reviews and I assumed it was because people felt pervy for reading about a triad/triple/whatever. So to those of you who were brave enough to admit that you both read it AND liked it, thank you. I have no idea where our timeline is…mostly because Rachel wasn't paying close attention to time for awhile. I am now going to attempt to pay attention to the passing of time. (Let's hope that works out for me.)
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T…" Rachel picked up the phone and answered it.
"Yeah, 'Cedes?"
"Do you know what today is?" Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, it's Monday."
"It's February 7th." Rachel suppressed a sigh.
"Okay…it's not your birthday and it's not Kurt's, so what exactly is that supposed to mean to me?" It wasn't that Rachel didn't love Mercedes. It was just that she really needed to finish this paper for her AP English class.
"It's a week until Valentine's Day." Rachel dropped the pen she'd been tapping impatiently against her chin. Valentine's Day. To be completely honest, she had been dreading Valentine's Day. There was a long drawn out build up to the big day. Then all the boys tried to do whatever they could to impress their various girlfriends. Everything was so much harder with two boyfriends, and she figured that all the normal drama of Valentine's Day wouldn't be doubled—it would be squared. They would both be watching her like a hawk to see her reactions to everything. They would each buy her flowers, and watch to see which flowers she sniffed the most. They would buy her candy, and watch to see which candy she liked best. If they bough jewelry—they'd watch her to see which necklace or bracelet she wore. If they bought her stuffed animals—they'd be checking to see which would get the place of honor on her bed. I think I feel a migraine coming on.
"Shut. up!"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean, I didn't realize it was that close…" Oh god, maybe she could become a foreign exchange student in the next seven days? Or perhaps she could be taken hostage in some sort of bank robbery? She might be shot, but she'd get better, right?
"Rachel!"
"Ow! You don't have to yell in my ear!"
"I called your name five times."
"Oh."
"So what are you guys going to do?" Rachel closed her eyes. She hoped nobody was going to put ideas in their heads. She knew she wasn't that lucky, Kurt had probably been bugging them for months. Fuck my life. She'd heard Finn say that once and it seemed appropriate. Vulgar, but it definitely got the point across.
"I don't know. Um, Mercedes, I'd really love to talk to you about this, but if I don't finish this paper I will be in huge trouble."
"Oh. Okay. I'll talk to you later." Great. She could tell that Mercedes' feelings had been hurt. She was trying to avoid that. Now Kurt was going to call her and he was going to press and press until she caved and then her boys would find out she didn't want to touch Valentine's Day with a 30 foot pole and then they'd get all upset and god she was babbling in her head! She sat up. She deliberately shut off her phone. She changed into her exercise clothes and went running.
It was raining. It was getting late…around 7 o' clock…and Rachel had been running for awhile. She didn't want to go home because she knew they'd be sitting there, waiting for her. Damn it! Where could she go? Rachel stopped and looked around. She shook her head. She had no idea where she was. She backtracked. Oh, yeah. She was over by Breadstix. Well…crap. She'd left everything at home. Her phone, her purse. She had her ipod, but that wasn't going to do much. By the time Rachel got home she was absolutely soaked to the bone and extremely pissed off. Her boys weren't there. Thank god. She really could not deal with them right now.
V-Day Countdown 5 days 15 hours 30 minutes
Finn and Puck stood by Rachel's locker until right before the bell. She never showed. The rest of the day she managed to avoid them. She acted like everything was fine, but she seemed slightly strained. What was wrong with her? Finn was baffled. He and Puck hadn't done anything that would normally upset her. He checked with Kurt to make sure. Sometimes, what would upset a girl wasn't obvious to the average guy. He and Puck had occasionally screwed up and gotten their girl angry with them. Not lately, though. They'd both been focused on making Rach's Valentine's Day absolutely wonderful. That sort of thing was super important to chicks…women. They wanted to feel special and important to the men in their life. Finn had always tried to make sure that Valentine's Day was nice for his mom, but this year she had Burt to make her day special.
"What the hell?" Puck was counting to ten, really he was.
Rachel was sitting at a table in the cafeteria eating lunch with Mike and Sam. Mike said something and Rachel laughed, placing her hand on his arm. Finn could feel his blood boil. He tried to breathe slowly, carefully. Rachel had been acting weird all day. What on earth was going on? This was so unlike her.
Puck and Finn walked slowly, calmly over to the table.
"Rachel?" Puck was trying to make his voice calm, relaxed. She turned
and smiled at the both of them. She seemed happy to see them. They sat down on either side of her and she gave each of them a brief kiss on the cheek. Lunch was surreal for both boys, it passed in a strange, almost dream like manner. They knew something was going on, but Rachel appeared to be acting normally. They couldn't ask her what was going on because she wasn't doing anything different or unusual. They just both had a feeling of foreboding.
*glee*
You know, hobbit, when they start to bug me it must be bad. Rachel sighed.
Both of them, or Puck?
Puck.
It's complicated.
Your shit always is.
Nice. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Rachel decided to run again. She wasn't at home very much lately, and she left her phone at home. If her dads figured out what she was doing they would be very unhappy. One of the reasons she had a cell phone was for safety. When she wasn't running, she was at the barre running herself through exercises. Her ballet teacher was happy to give her a couple extra hours of practice. She stopped sneaking off to see the boys after their fight club. She had a lot of time to think, and with her sense of the dramatic she had worked Valentine's Day into some sort of horrific massacre.
Rachel had settled into her running pace and was pounding pavement when she sensed someone behind her. That happened sometimes. She glanced over her shoulder and stopped. She sighed.
"So, you shut your phone off." Santana stood on the sidewalk watching her.
"Yeah. I left it at home, too. I figured if it was shut off people wouldn't assume I was ignoring them."
"Right now, people are freaking out because they assume that for whatever, and I'm quoting here, 'chick batty' reason you are going to dump their collective asses on or around Valentine's Day."
"I'd rather just get shot in the leg or something." Santana's eyes widened in surprise.
"Well, that's an extreme alternative, Rachel. Any particular reason you're hoping to get shot?"
"I'd be able to skip Valentine's Day altogether." Santana's jaw dropped. She was truly schocked.
"What on earth are you talking about?" Rachel was tired of holding everything in. She was tired of pretending that everything was okay. She verbally vomited all over Santana. She told her absolutely everything—all her fears and worries about Valentine's Day. Santana stood there and appeared to be listening to everything Rachel said. She gesticulated wildly. She spoke passionately. Then she stood there staring at Santana.
"You done?" Rachel shrugged.
"Yeah. I guess so."
"You have got to be the Arch-High Queen of the Drama Queens. Do you seriously think all that is going to happen on Valentine's Day?" Rachel's cheeks turned pink.
"It could. It's possible." Santana rolled her eyes. Then she got her evil look.
"How badly do you want to skip out on V-Day?"
"I'm willing to get shot, Santana. I'd say that's pretty bad." She looked hopeful. "Do you have a gun?"
"No! That's ridiculous! Rachel…would you be willing to kiss me? If I could guarantee that you won't have to worry about V-Day at all? It would have to involve tongue to work right." Rachel frowned. She liked having Santana as a friend, but she didn't like Santana in that way. She wasn't attracted to her.
"Yeah. I guess so, but Santana how would that take care of anything? I wouldn't be doing it on purpose to piss off the boys, would I?"
"No! Of course not. Tomorrow, school. See you there." Santana turned and started jogging down the street. Rachel turned and went home.
*glee*
The next day at school Rachel was scattered. She could barely pay attention in class. She kept nervously tapping her foot, or her pen. Finn and Puck definitely noticed, but at this point they were afraid to ask—afraid that her response would be to break up with them or something. They were walking Rachel to lunch when Santana walked out of the nurse's office. She saw Rachel, grabbed her by the arms and kissed her. It was an intense kiss, it went on for several seconds and Puck and Finn could obviously see tongue. Rachel was also obviously kissing her back. Santana pulled back and smiled at Rachel.
"There. Happy Valentine's Day." Rachel blinked at her.
"What?"
"Just…make sure you don't kiss anybody else. You're contagious now."
"What?" Rachel squeaked. Her eyes were huge in her face. She'd turned pale. Santana gave her evil grin.
"You. Are. Contagious. You've got mono." Rachel gave a horrified sort of moan.
Puck and Finn stared at Santana. Then they turned and stared at Rachel who was still pale looking. They moved toward her, but her hand shot out in front of her.
"Wait! If Santana's right, if I'm contagious, you guys have to stay back." She backed away from them carefully and ran to the nurse's office.
*glee*
Finn moped around his house. His mother gave an irritated sigh and called Kurt.
"Kurt, honey, it's me. Look, he's doing it again. Can you talk to him?" Carole always felt a little thrill when Kurt called her mom, but she was slightly uncomfortable calling herself that. She was worried about Finn. She wasn't sure what was wrong exactly, although she was sure it somehow involved Rachel. It always did. Carole would have felt better if she could hate Rachel, but she liked the tiny brunette. She was a good influence on Finn, and it was obvious that Rachel loved her son very much.
"Finn, Mom says you're moping all over the house. Again. What's going on?"
"Oh, nothing. Santana made out with my girlfriend in the hall at school. Full-on tongue and everything. Oh yeah, and my girlfriend was totally kissing her back. No big." Kurt was stunned, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.
"Finn? Sarcasm is not your forte. So, wait…Rachel did what?"
"And now I guess Rachel has mono and is contagious, so we won't be seeing her for the next few weeks. We're probably not even together anymore. She'll probably dump us as soon as she's not contagious."
"Oh my god! What the hell are you people doing down there?"
"I don't know! She's been acting weird for days and now I just don't know!"
"Finn, go talk to Puck. You two need to figure this out together. Call me if you need help, but go talk to him."
"Do I have to? He's in a really pissy mood right now."
"I can only imagine. Yes, you have too."
"Fuck my life."
Puck was drunk. He lay in his bed, surrounded by empty cans. Finn's eyebrow shot up his forehead. There were a lot of cans. Were these all from today? He frowned at Puck who glared back.
"Kurt says we have to talk to each other to figure this out."
Puck grunted at him.
"Puck? I'm not leaving, so you might as well talk to me. Did you drink all of these today?" Puck looked at all the cans around him.
"I'm not sure. Don't think so." Finn sighed and sat on the only chair in Puck's room.
"What exactly are we supposed to figure out, do you suppose?" Puck sighed and stared at the ceiling.
"Dunno. What do we know?" Finn shook his head and grinned to himself. She was really rubbing off on them. When they tackled a task now, they always made a list. It was just something they did. Finn searched on Puck's desk for a notebook and pen or pencil. He found some and sat back down.
"One—she's been acting weird all week long." Finn said as he wrote.
"Not Monday. Monday at school, she was fine." Finn corrected what he'd written.
"So who talked to her Monday?"
"Nobody at school because she was fine. After school." Finn made a notation.
"So we call people?" Puck shrugged. Okay, Finn amended to himself, he would call people. It was a pitifully small list. Rachel didn't have a lot of close friends. Kurt, Mercedes and Santana. That was it. She was on friendly terms with Tina and Brittany, but they weren't close with Rachel. Quinn wasn't really a variable. Rachel had never quite forgiven Quinn for everything that she'd done to her boys. Finn called Kurt first.
"Hey, Kurt, did you talk to Rachel on Monday night?"
"No. I talked to her during lunch on Monday, remember."
"Oh, yeah. Okay…do you know if anybody did talk to her Monday night?"
"I think Mercedes mentioned that she was going to call Rachel. Why?"
"Well, we realized she's been acting weird most of the week, but just since Tuesday. So we figure something must have happened Monday night."
"That is entirely logical. I would call Mercedes."
"Right."
Finn had to look up Mercedes' phone number in his contact list. He usually didn't need to call her.
"Hello?" Mercedes sounded confused.
"Mercedes?"
"Finn?"
"Yeah, um, did you talk to Rachel on Monday night?"
"Sure, I called to talk to her about Valentine's Day, not that she was interested. She basically blew me off and hung up on me." Mercedes sounded irritated.
"Well, what exactly did she say to you? And what, exactly, did you say to her?"
"Why?"
"Please, Mercedes."
"Okay. Let me think for minute. Um, I asked if she knew what day it was. She didn't. I told her it was February 7th and that Valentine's Day was only a week away. She sounded upset about that. I asked her what you guys were going to do, and she said she really had to go. End of conversation."
"Thank you, Mercedes." Mercedes told him not to worry and that she'd see him next week.
Finn sat in the chair, frowning. Puck watched him blearily from the bed. He wrote in the notebook and then frowned some more. Puck let his head fall onto his pillow with an exasperated sigh.
"So…what did she say?" Puck was irritated. Finn looked up at him with a sheepish expression.
"Sorry. It has something to do with Valentine's Day." Puck shot straight up in bed.
"Valentine's Day. Santana said 'Happy Valentine's Day'. Rachel knew Santana was going to kiss her. She just didn't know she was going to get mono." Puck stared at Finn who stared back. Valentine's Day?
"So Santana knew what was bothering Rachel?" Finn made some quick notes.
"Hand me the damn phone." Finn handed over the phone. Puck glared blearily at the keys and punched in Santana's number.
"What do you want, Finn?"
"It's me."
"Oh. What do you want, Puck?"
"What did you promise her, and why the hell would you?"
"I promised to help her because she's my friend." Santana's voice was fierce. Sometimes, Santana felt like Rachel was her only true friend because she knew everything and she didn't give a rip. She still wanted to be friends.
"Okay. So helping our girlfriend involves you licking her tonsils?" Puck was pissed and he wasn't shy about telling Santana off. She should know that this wasn't okay with him, or with Finn.
"Well, she asked me to shoot her, so I'm thinking you should be happy with the kiss." Puck shot up in the bed again. He really shouldn't do that. It made him slightly nauseous.
"She asked you to do what?" He yelled into the phone.
"Your girlfriend, Rachel Berry, asked me to shoot her."
"But she was joking, right?"
"No, I think she was totally serious. She was kind of sad that I didn't have a gun. She didn't want me to shoot anything vital. She suggested her arm."
"What the hell? Why would she want that?"
"She wanted to avoid Valentine's Day. So I told her I'd help her, but she'd have to kiss me and it'd involve tongue. She was worried, but she was more anxious about V-Day than pissing you two off."
"What the hell? Why would she want that?"
"Puck, you said that already. Pay attention. I am going to explain this very slowly and carefully. Then you have to explain it to Finn. You two have to both understand this, okay." Santana proceeded to explain everything clearly and carefully in excruciating detail. Well, damn it. Their girl was right. Puck had planned on doing all of that. Finn had, too. Puck knew him as well as he knew himself. Fuck.
When Puck got off the phone, he had to repeat everything slowly and carefully to Finn. Not because Finn was stupid (he wasn't), but because it was just so damn crazy. Rachel was overdramatic. In fact, their girl took drama to it's own galaxy. Finn had to wrap his head around some of her crazier shit, and this was right up there. He put his head in his hands and sighed.
"So we're still jealous of each other, and she knows? And she'd rather have someone shoot her, than deal with it?"
"Yeah. I think that's about it." Finn looked at Puck.
"Why are we still jealous of each other?" Puck shrugged. How the hell should he know?
"I don't know. She says she loves us both. Do you believe her?" Finn frowned. That wasn't fair. He trusted Rachel with everything inside him.
"Yes. I believe her."
"Well, I do too. So why are we still having problems?" Puck was frustrated. Why was this still a problem for them?
"Do you trust me?" Finn was watching Puck, waiting for his reaction. Puck frowned at him. Finn was his best friend. They were closer than brothers, really. He felt completely comfortable around Finn—he could tell Finn anything. Rachel bound them even closer together.
"Yeah, I do."
"Me too, I mean, I trust you. I love you, you know?" Puck stared at Finn. They'd never said it out loud. He knew Finn loved him. He loved Finn. It was weird because it wasn't romantic or sexual, but it was pure and unconditional. He hadn't ever known you could feel like that about someone. His feelings for Rachel were different, and they were mixed up with sexual attraction, but he supposed that's what romantic love was all about. As far as he could tell, he and Finn were going to be with Rachel for a long, long time (he sure as hell wasn't going anywhere), so maybe it was a good thing that they loved each other.
"Me too." Finn grinned at him. "Do you want a hug or something Hudson?"
"Fuck off, Puckerman. You don't have to ruin the moment by being a dick." Puck shrugged. He couldn't help it sometimes.
"Now what?" Finn threw his hands up in the air.
"We figure out how to fix all this, and prove we can handle V-Day? I don't want to spend next year with her shot or something to avoid us. God knows she's crazy enough to figure out how to do it, too." Puck nodded. If Finn was thinking about next year, then he was planning on being around for a long time too. Good.
"You know we can't see her for like, a month, or some shit." Finn groaned. "Don't worry, Dude. It'll give us a chance to figure out how to make it work."
