Picture Perfect
Chapter 11:
When the morning arrived, Phil was the first to wake up. His eyes slowly opened. For a moment, he had forgotten that he had fallen asleep in Dan's bed. More than that, he had definitely forgotten that he had fallen asleep holding Dan. It was strange. Dan felt so small. Phil didn't have the heart to wake him up, so he just stayed put. It gave him time to think.
Nathan… Whoever it was, he must have meant a great deal to Dan. When Mr. Jones brought up Nathan, Dan immediately looked upset. Hell, Dan took off after the subject was brought to light. Phil wondered why that was.
It was hard, remembering last night. Not the act itself, but seeing Dan looking so upset and broken was painful for Phil. Phil never once imagined that Dan could lose it like that, and over what? Dan hadn't wanted to tell him, but he didn't want to be alone either. That told Phil that it was something really bad, painful even. He wondered, was Nathan someone Dan lost? An ex-boyfriend, maybe, but he had no idea.
Suddenly, the door to the room opened. "Hey, Dan," said Tyler, not bothering to look up from his phone. "They gave me a key so I let myself in. How are you—" he looked up and saw Dan and Phil. He shrieked and turned around. "Shit! My bad."
"Dammit," groaned Dan as he sat up. "Tyler haven't you learned to knock by now?"
Tyler glanced at them, and that's when he realized they were wearing shirts. It was safe…maybe. "Sorry. I called you and you didn't answer. After everything it didn't occur to me that you'd be in the mood—"
"Tyler," warned Dan.
"Sorry. But, Phil, not to be that guy, but I really need to talk to Dan."
"Oh," muttered Phil, now even more worried about Dan than before. "Okay."
Tyler gestured behind him, "Do I need to step out? Are you guys, like, wearing any pants?"
"TYLER!" snapped Dan.
Tyler placed his hands up in surrender and backed out of the room. Dan pinched the bridge of his nose and allowed himself to fall backwards, his head colliding with the pillow. Phil didn't say anything, but he was sick with concern. He got out of bed and walked into the other room.
"What's going on?" he asked in a whisper. Tyler responded by zipping his lips. Phil sighed, "Tyler…I'm so worried. He woke up from a dream screaming and crying last night." As soon as Tyler looked worried, that's when he knew that his distress was justified.
Tyler held up his hand, "Just, don't. Leave it to me for now." He lowered his voice, "I'll fill you in on details later, promise." He walked past Phil and into Dan's room, closing the door behind him. "Alright, talk to me."
Dan was lying on his side, staring at seemingly nothing. "I took Nathan's doppelganger to the first event."
"So let me guess," Tyler sat on the bed by Dan's feet, "everyone mentioned that Phil looks like him."
"What do you think?"
"I'm sorry," was all Tyler had to say. He looked at Dan, trying to figure out what to do. No matter where they went for the next two months, people that knew Dan and knew Nathan were only going to bring it up more. Tyler didn't blame Dan for not being able to handle it straight away; hell, if Dan could handle it, that's what would have him worried. "Phil told me about last night. What happened?"
Dan sighed. He wished Phil hadn't said anything. "I saw it again. Like it was yesterday." Tyler said nothing. His face showed clear concern, which only worsened when he saw tears gathering in Dan's eyes. Dan swallowed, trying to push back the pain. "It was so clear. And when…" he stopped, bringing his hand to his mouth to stifle a sob. "When Phil came in here, I was so disoriented that for just a moment I thought maybe I was finally waking from the nightmare, and that Nathan was alive. Then I realized the nightmare was real, and he's still gone…"
"Dan…I'm sorry…" Tyler knew that no other words would make a difference. There was nothing he could do or say to make this better. All he could do was be supportive.
"I don't know what I'm going to do… When I met Phil, I never expected to feel this way…" He sat up, but still stared ahead. Despite his unblinking eyes, tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm terrified of losing someone I…someone all over again."
Tyler sighed, "Someone you love."
"I don't want to say it. That would mean confirming it, and if I can avoid that right now then I'm going to. It'll make things easier."
"You can't avoid it forever, because I can tell you that he feels the same way."
Dan tore his gaze away from the empty space to look at Tyler. "What?"
"Just from how worried he seemed a minute ago, I can tell. Dan you have to tell him what's going on. You have to tell him the truth."
"No! I am not telling him. There's no way!"
"Bitch, I had to postpone a date with Connor to come out here, and if I'm here just to watch you continue to push Phil away, I'm going to hurt you." Dan eyes trailed away from Tyler. He looked ahead, his shoulders dropping as he sighed. Tyler stood up, knowing there wasn't much more he could do. "I'm only here for today. All I can recommend is that you spend the day with him. See what happens. I'll see you tonight, okay?"
Dan stood up as well. He walked over and embraced Tyler, which was slightly funny to both of them due to the height difference. "Thank you, Tyler."
"You're welcome, boo." Tyler pulled away. He smacked Dan's ass and then pushed him. "Now go have a good day with him."
Dan laughed as he stepped out of the room. When he looked up, he saw Phil smiling.
"You seem to be doing better," observed Phil. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," replied Dan. He managed a small smile. "Today's a free day. We don't have anything to do, so why don't we go out for the day?"
Phil nodded, "Okay; that sounds nice."
It was mid-afternoon. Dan and Phil were walking absentmindedly through the streets of Paris. There was no specific place they wanted to go; there was no destination. They walked together, talking quietly and taking in all the sights. Phil often stopped them in order to take pictures or look at something. Dan brought his camera with them so that he could take pictures for Phil. Granted, an IPhone took good pictures, but Dan's camera was obviously much better. Dan's personal favorite picture at the moment was the one he took of Phil posing with a street mime.
Dan was relieved. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to stay happy throughout the day, considering that he now realized how much Phil looked like Nathan. However, there was something about Phil that made the pain go away. Dan found himself smiling, laughing even. It seemed that despite how much he was hurting earlier that morning, it had faded enough to feel nonexistent. He hoped deeply that it would stay that way.
The day continued on. Dan and Phil stopped at a café to eat, took a short tour through an art gallery, and were currently trying to flag down a cab. The sun had set, seemingly bringing another day to a close, but it was only just after 7:30 p.m.
"Where are we headed now?" asked Phil.
Dan nearly cheered when he finally succeeded in getting them a cab. He turned to Phil after they got into the car. "We're headed back to the hotel, and then we can go out to eat."
"Alright."
Once they arrived at the hotel, they went up to their room. Tyler was on the couch watching "Say Yes to the Dress" when they walked in. He turned around, pausing the show in the process. "Hey," he greeted. "How was the day out?"
"The city is so beautiful," answered Phil. "Dan showed me an amazing art gallery too."
"I hate that you can't take pictures of the art. Like, what am I going to do? Sell a photo of a painting?" Dan laughed.
Tyler chuckled as well, "Well I'm glad it was a good day. However, I have to get a move on. I have to catch a plane soon."
Phil looked at Tyler with a confused expression. "You're leaving already?"
"Well, I touched up the suit for next week, so there's not much reason for me to stay. Plus, I have a date with Connor that I need to get to." He winked.
"That didn't take long," Phil laughed.
"Damn right."
Everyone laughed. There were a few moments of silence, which Dan broke. "I'm going to take a shower. Then we can head out."
"Okay," agreed Phil.
As soon as Dan locked the bathroom door and started up the shower, Tyler went over to Phil. Phil looked at him expectantly. Tyler gestured to the couch, and they both sat down.
"Tyler, what's going on?" asked Phil. "He seemed really happy today, but I can tell that there's something underneath."
Tyler sighed, "If I tell you, you can't address it. He'd kill me if he knew I told you, but you deserve to know."
"Tyler just tell me. I won't say anything, but you're freaking me out."
Tyler reached into his pocket and took out a photo. It was the photo from Dan's wallet. "Nathan was Dan's fiancé," he began. He handed Phil the picture from Dan's wallet. Phil stared at it his eyes wide.
"Oh my god," he whispered.
Tyler nodded, "I know. I don't think he realized it at first. Not until…" he trailed off.
"Not until yesterday. That's when he started acting different. Last night..." He continued to look at the picture, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Nathan looked so much like him. It was almost scary. He was definitely Phil's doppelganger and vice versa. Phil handed the picture back to Tyler. "So he was Dan's fiancé. Was, being the key word. What happened?"
"He'll kill me if he knows I told you," muttered Tyler as he put the picture away so he could put it back before Dan noticed it was missing.
"Like I said, I won't say anything."
Tyler sighed, and he started telling the story. "Dan was 21 when he first started working as a photographer at the company. He and Nathan were already together of course. They met when they were 18."
"It was towards the end of their senior year. Nathan hired Dan to take his senior pictures."
Dan was stood outside in a woodland area that people often went to in order to walk the paths in the fall time. The trees would change colors, making the trails beautiful. It was also a very popular spot for senior pictures. Nathan stood out in the field, following Dan's direction. Dan was trying to find the best spot to complement Nathan's appearance. His complexion was still slightly tanned from the summer, so it was perfect to go alongside the orange, yellow, and red leafs that were soaring through the sky. Nathan had wonderful features. They were sharp, but his eyes were soft.
"Okay, what pose do you want to do?" asked Dan.
"Whatever you think would suit me," replied Nathan, a small smile on his face.
"Oh, don't get me started," mumbled Dan for only himself to hear. He adjusted his camera and looked through the lens. Go ahead and sit in the grass. Look out into the distance." Nathan did as directed, and Dan began snapping picture after picture.
"After that, the rest should have been history, but sadly that wasn't the case."
"When Dan got the job at the company, he persuaded them to hire Nathan as a model. After all, as you saw, Nathan was a beautiful boy, so they agreed. Dan wasn't famous or even well-known at this point, so dating one of his models wasn't a problem. The two of them took the company by storm. It wasn't long before everyone knew who they were. By age 23, Dan was top dog at the company, and everyone knew who Nathan was. Everyone knew they were together too, and that just seemed to make things even better in the media."
Dan and Nathan were stood side by side in Paris at one of the many events. They talked with people easily. Everyone knew who they were. They were respected not only as members of the company but as people. Dan walked with Nathan, his hand around the man's waist.
"Dan proposed to Nathan that same year, and Nathan said yes. I'd never seen Dan so happy."
It wasn't a special location, but it was special to them. Dan took Nathan out to where they had taken Nathan's senior pictures. He got down on knee and asked Nathan to marry him. Nathan's hands flew to his mouth, trying to conceal the overwhelming emotion. With tears in his eyes, he nodded yes and jumped into Dan's arms. They held each other, unexplainable amounts of happiness washing over them.
"It was only a few months later when it happened. Dan was finishing up a shoot, and he was going to pick up Nathan afterwards. It was late, snowy, dark outside. As he driving, he heard the gun shot. Of course, it's London. It was another crime. He stayed in his car for a few minutes, just to be safe. When he pulled up to where he was supposed to pick up Nathan, that's when he found him."
Dan was driving. He had the wipers on in the car in order to push away the snow. The headlights from his car and streetlamps were the only light guiding his path. Suddenly, he heard a gunshot. His heart raced. Sometimes he hated living in London. He pulled over and stayed in his car, trying to stay calm. After a few minutes, he resumed heading to pick up Nathan.
When Dan arrived, he could see someone lying on the ground. He darted out of his car and ran to them. Rolling the person over, he saw that it was Nathan, and Nathan had been shot. The wound was in his chest, right where his heart was. There was nothing Dan could do. Nathan was already gone, dead from the second the shot hit him. Dan held Nathan's body close to him, and he wept.
"It wasn't anyone that had a grudge, it wasn't anything. It was just another crime. Nathan was a victim of circumstance, but Dan, Dan lost everything that night. He was never really the same after that."
Phil had no idea what to say. He felt his heart breaking for Dan. That had to have been one of the saddest things he'd heard. Now it all made sense. Dan acted the way he did because it was a mask. Phil now wasn't sure if it was really against the rules for Dan to date one of the models, but now he sure as hell understood why Dan didn't want to. However, that raised a question.
"Does Dan have real feelings for me?" asked Phil. Tyler looked at him, as if expecting context to the question. Phil gestured to himself, "I'm not exactly a prize. I mean, I know I look like Nathan, but if he just now noticed that clearly didn't have an effect. At least, I don't think so. But until yesterday, I thought what Dan and I had going on wasn't that serious. It was more of just this really frustrating tension. But…yesterday, it felt different, and now with this new information I don't know what to think."
"The real question is," started Tyler, "do you have real feelings for him?" Phil was completely silent. "I'm asking because I've already watched that boy's heart get destroyed. I don't want to see that happened again."
Tyler and Phil heard the shower water turn off, and both of them instantly panicked. Tyler cursed under his breath and darted for Dan's wallet, putting the picture back and placing the wallet back in place. Phil didn't feel he had a reason to be panicking, but he was. More than anything, it was Tyler's question that was stressing him out. Yes, he had feelings for Dan. He couldn't deny that at all. However, he was now afraid that Dan didn't have feelings for him. He'd pointed out to Tyler that surely Dan did like him because Dan hadn't noticed the similarities in the past, but that observation had been more for his sake.
Tyler walked back out into the main area, his belongings in hand. "I have to go, but now you know the truth. Take care of him." He left the room without another word.
Phil turned when he heard Dan stepping out of the bathroom. Dan was already dressed and drying his hair with a towel. "Almost ready?"
The emotions hitting Phil were powerful and confusing. He didn't understand how he was feeling one bit, and sure as hell didn't want to go anywhere in that moment. Despite that, Dan smiled at him, and he smiled back. "Yeah. Whenever you are," he lied.
