PIDGE'S POV
"I see," Lotor said, almost too quiet for me to hear. I glanced up at him, hoping for any clue as to what he was thinking, but whatever expression he wore seemed to be pensive.
"I- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," I whispered, feeling sick to my stomach with apprehension. I stood, pushing my chair back, ready to just escape. I hated the feeling of uncertainty. Was he somehow going to use that information against me? Hurt Lance to get me to tell him whatever he wanted about Voltron? It didn't make sense that Lotor would pick me to talk to or negotiate a partnership with. I wasn't Voltron's leader, so I couldn't make decisions like that. He picked the most technologically advanced out of the team- I could tell him better than anyone what made the lions work and what they were made of.
"No, Pidge, wait!" Lotor jumped out of his chair and ran after me, catching up in no time. "Where are you going?"
I shrugged. I didn't have any plans. I was now on uncharted territory. That was half the reason I'd never done anything about my feelings for Lance. Emotions weren't like computers. They weren't predictable, couldn't be fixed with a simple line of coding. Coding couldn't make me delete my feelings no matter how many firewalls in my heart I hacked through.
"You've got what you want, Lotor. Something to use against me... blackmail. Just leave me alone, okay?" Me? The most reasonable paladin? Seriously, did this guy think I was stupid? I had the temper of a bull, for crying out loud. I was an Aries, fire through and through. How did that make me reasonable?
"Pidge, that's not... that's not what I was doing," Lotor said. "I wanted to show you I was trustworthy. I wanted you to know I could keep a secret that meant so much to you."
I turned back and looked up at him, crossing my arms. "Why me?"
"Allura's too naive, Keith is too temperamental. Hunk is too kind. Lance... would literally kill me and sell my insides to Satan for a... how do you humans say it? A cornchip?"
I burst out laughing. This guy! He had just literally used an Earth meme in a sentence. "Yep, that's... that's right." I was still trying to stifle a laugh, but it was too late. Lotor was clearly pleased with himself, smiling.
"Pidge, you just happen to be the smartest and the most curious. You of all people would analyze your information over and over, careful not to let emotion rule your results." Lotor's hand was on my shoulder now, a move he was daring enough to perform. He must've known my opinion of him was about as blurred and confused as a camera out of focus.
"What do you want, then?" I asked, still perplexed as to what he wanted me to do. If he only wanted to gossip about my girlish secrets and show off how well he knew my teammates, I was better off in the prison cell.
"What does it take for me to prove you can trust me?" Lotor asked, silky silver hair flowing down his back like a mystical waterfall. I felt my own hair, soft and feathery, wondering how much Lance would give to have Lotor's shampoo.
I thought hard about it. But I realized it wasn't hard at all to find something I wanted that wasn't Lance related. Good, I was still Pidge, and not completely obsessed with everything blue and Cuban.
"I want you to help me find my father and brother," I said, my voice strong and confident. I, too, could play the game of using your enemy to your advantage.
"Sam and Matthew Holt?"
I nodded. "Yes, them. If you can help me rescue them from Zarkon, then you have my trust."
"One hundred percent?" Lotor asked, raising an eyebrow expectantly.
Hesitant to throw everything in the air, I paused. I trusted hardly anyone one hundred percent. That meant trusting Lotor with my life. The only people I trusted that much were back home or part of Voltron. Could I do that? "Yes. One hundred percent."
"Deal?" He held out his purple hand, slender fingers reaching towards me like a beckon. Reluctantly, I placed my tiny hand in his and shook it, sealing my fate. I'd now be forced to trust this tall purple man with my life.
"Deal, I guess." I stared at him, hoping he'd see the uncertainty in my amber eyes, that he'd see I wasn't completely sold on letting him control our new mission completely. "Where do we start?"
"We need someone who's already on their way towards us now." Lotor made his way down a couple of hallways and came into a room with a control panel that glowed with many buttons. I felt a seed of fear root itself in my stomach. Already, Lotor was bringing someone else into the equation. "I think you're very familiar with him."
My heart began to race in anticipation. "Lance? He's on his way here?"
"Why do you sound so surprised that he's come to rescue you?" Lotor cocked his head to the side, confusion in his features.
My first day here... Could it really have been Lance speaking to me then, in my mind? It was his voice. "I... I'm not. He'd rescue any of his teammates."
"Why don't we get in contact with him, then? Would you do the honor?" He stepped aside from the screens and panels.
Stepping up to the buttons, I searched the code for any information. The ship was cloaked, letting out a signal only every few hours. Strange. "Lotor, what's this? The ship is cloaked."
"Yes. I didn't want your friend to come blasting the ship without letting me get a word in edgewise. We've been leading him with short bursts of signal so that he could follow, but not pinpoint our location. Could you remove that for me?"
I nodded, smiling to myself. That was actually... really smart. How had I never thought of that? Cloaking the ship's location and uncloaking it. This whole time, had Lance really just been chasing a ghost's trail? I removed the cloak, and searched for the red lion's location.
There.
I was just the push of a button away from actually hearing his voice, his real voice, and not the voice I imagined saying stupid things to me. Why hadn't I pushed it yet? It was what I said to Lotor earlier that scared me so much. Suddenly, my feelings had become so much more real than I had ever thought they were, and their weight crashed down on me. I was afraid of being so vulnerable in front of people, of letting them see just how much Pidge Gunderson the technological genius could really crash and burn.
I closed my eyes and pressed the button that connected Lance and I... and waited.
There was static. I was connected. My heart seemed to be feeling the ultimate vertigo, the same feeling you get when you're about to drop from a zip line or accelerate on a rollercoaster. "Lance? Are you there? It's me, Pidge."
There was silence for a moment. I so desperately wanted to see him again, see him alive. Was he just in shock from hearing my voice? Or had something happened to him?
Oh, quiznak, why hadn't I thought of that before! He was out there all alone in one of the most coveted weapons in the whole universe... And I was too concerned with my stupid love life to realize it!
"Pidge? You're alive! Where are you?" Lance's voice was full of holes and static, nowhere clear enough to satisfy the hunger for his real voice.
"Follow the directions I've sent you. And please don't shoot, Lance," I added.
"Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine. Just get here quickly and I'll explain everything." I pressed the button that disconnected the call and sighed heavily, leaning against the wall nearby. I turned to Lotor, who had been staring at me the entire time, arms and legs crossed to form the perfect image of a prince in relaxation. He looked smug.
"What?" I snapped.
"Oh nothing, just that the smile on your face is humongous," Lotor said, walking towards me. "This will be quite entertaining to watch."
My smile drooped. There it was again, the quite entertaining part. Was this thing between Lance and I nothing more to him than a joke? He seemed to care only ten minutes ago.
"Oh, I apologize, once again," Lotor said, noticing my expression. "I did not mean it that way. I just mean to say that I am interested in how this will all play out."
I was about to make a comment when the doors to the control room slid open and familiar footsteps echoed on the metal floor. I spun around, bracing myself for the fire blossom of queasy feelings my heart would throw at me.
His name left my lips in nothing more than a breathless whisper, like a fresh butterfly learning to fly for the first time, testing its wings.
"Lance."
