Apologies for short chapter and the delay in updating. Updating may be sporadic for a while as I am preparing to take a trip but I will NOT abandon this story! There is too much romance and adventure to come and some very surprising scenes to write! I'm so eager to write them, but I must prepare for my journey!


Kintsugi for Kilgrave


Chapter 11


Eclosion part 2


Kilgrave had finished his chores a little early that day. Last night's date had left him feeling energized. He couldn't recall ever feeling more at peace with himself. No, nor more loved. And even more eager to make a better man of himself. There must be something worthy in him for Jack to love him that much.

As he walked by Jack's office he couldn't help seeing Jack was having a conversation with the Doctor by way of hologram on his wrist-comp. The Doctor did not look pleased. Kilgrave tapped on the door, then entered.

Jack's eyes flew wide open in alarm.

"...an idiot, Jack!" the Doctor shouted. "You should have told him IGN conditioned him to be attracted to you!"

"Kilgrave!" Jack cried.

"And he just walked in, did he?" the Doctor groaned.

"YES!"

"Jack?" Kilgrave said, his voice a whimper. "I don't... I—what does he mean? They conditioned me? To love you?"

"Kilgrave, look, don't jump to any conclusions, sweetheart," Jack said. "This is one of the things I wanted to tell you, and I needed the Doctor's advice on how to do it."

"But...this means what I feel isn't real," Kilgrave rasped. "My love for you is just a story IGH made up and put in my head." His lungs dragged in great gulps of air. Tears flowed down his cheeks.

"Jack, I'm on my way," the Doctor said.

"Kilgrave, sweetheart," Jack leapt up and rushed to him. "No, no, why do you think I've been so careful to court you? I wanted you to really love me."

Kilgrave backed away. "No. It's not real. Don't you see, Jack? It's not real. Nothing about me is real. I was created in a lab. Everything I am is nothing but an experiment. A tool. I'm nothing. I'm no one. I'm nothing. Nothing."

"No, Kilgrave, you aren't nothing! You're so much more than that! You're—"

Kilgrave hadn't heard him. He turned and fled.

"God damn it!" Jack punched the wall, then went after him.

He could hear Kilgrave's footsteps but couldn't see him. "Ianto! Did you see where Kilgrave went?"

"He was running towards the back exit. I don't think he knows his way around down there, though. He looked really upset."

"Come on!" Jack barked.

The could hear his feet ringing on metal steps. Apparently the little shit had been exploring.

"He's heading to the roof!" Jack cried.

"But those doors are locked," Ianto said.

"Ianto, this is Kilgrave we're talking about. You know how clever he is. If he knows his way up there he could have been going up there for months!"

A chill ran through Jack's entire being as he heard the clank of the door opening and the bang as it slammed shut.

"Oh, God, Jack." Ianto's voice was filled with dread.

"Let's go!" Jack's legs vaulted the last few steps two at a time. A sharp pain shot through his arms as he slammed the bars to the door and rushed through.

Kilgrave stood at the very edge. He faced them. The heels of his converse actually were over the edge of the roof. His face was the picture of a man devastated. His cheeks were red and wet with tears, his eyes dull, haunted. His mouth twitched. He shook his head 'no'.

"Kilgrave, sweetheart, don't!" Jack cried, his voice cracking, his hand reaching out in desperation.

"It's not real, Jack," he moaned. "Our love isn't real. And if it's not real, I have nothing left. Why go on? Why not just let the monster die and be done with?"

"No, no, sweetheart, you aren't that anymore, don't you see? You've been becoming. Like the velveteen rabbit. I love you, Kilgrave, my love for you is real, I swear it."

"I'm not real, Jack. I'm just something created by a lab. You love something that isn't real. It's an illusion."

"You said when I kissed you, you love me so much you felt like your heart was going to burst. You said you love me so much it hurts. You can't tell me that isn't real." Jack's voice was gentle but assertive as he reached out his hand, making a small step forward.

Kilgrave tottered on the ledge, shaking his head 'no'. His tears spattered his shoes. "I want it to be true." His voice cracked. "Oh, Jack, why? Why was I even born?"

"We can talk inside, sweetheart. Come to your Jack, now. I could compel you. You know I could. I want you to choose life, sweetheart," Jack said, openly weeping now himself. "You shouldn't be my prisoner anymore. You should be mine by choice. You said you were mine. You said you love me! Don't hurt me like this, Kilgrave. You're breaking my heart."

"You have Ianto. You can forget me," Kilgrave said, his voice so soft Jack and Ianto had to strain to her it. "All our work, Jack, it was for nothing. Because I'm nothing."

"No! Don't you see? I love you, damn it! I can't love someone who is nothing, Kilgrave!" Jack stepped forward again. Again Kilgrave teetered. It seemed the air was frozen with the stalemate, and so no one noticed as Gwen made her entrance.

Kilgrave looked to be weighing his decision. He looked at his shoes, then looked Jack in the eye. He had made his choice.

"No. It's too much. The burden is too great on you, on me. If I'm anything at all I'm a monster. I don't deserve to live anyway. Just let me go. I love you all. And you, Jack, most of all. More than anyone or anything in my life. But let me go now. Just let me go, please." He swallowed hard. "Goodbye. I...I love you."

He took a step backward.

Jack took a leap forward and grabbed his hand.

Ianto grabbed Jack around his waist and Gwen joined him.

Kilgrave cried out, swinging like a pendulum. The little charm on his collar tinkled.

"No," he cried. "Please, let me go!"

"You promised!" Jack growled, angry now. "You promised you wouldn't let go of my hand! I lost Gray! And you swore you would never let go of my hand! God damn you, how dare you break your promise to me! I love you, you son of a bitch, how dare you do this to me!"

Kilgrave gasped. He had sworn, hadn't he? He had sworn to never let go of Jack's hand. And that was just what he was doing. "Oh, God," he gasped. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Then help me help you up," Jack growled.

Kilgrave swung his arm up and grasped Jack's wrist.

"Oh, God, Jack, I don't think I can do it," Kilgrave whimpered.

"Don't you let go, sweetheart," Jack encouraged. "Don't you dare let go of my hand."

But both of their hands were losing their grip...

And then they heard it.

The most beautiful sound in the universe, that whirling, grinding sound...and the TARDIS materialized just behind and beneath Kilgrave. The blue box rose just a little. The doors opened and there was the Doctor.

"Oh, you stupid man," he scolded. He reached out and grasped Kilgrave about the waist and snatched him into the TARDIS. "I'll be waiting in the Hub, Jack. I have some few choice words for the both of you."