Author's notes: BAHAHA ELLO ONCE AGAIN! It's me…Yep! You guessed it! TANYA!!! MWAHAHA!!! Bow down to yo master! JKS JKS! Only in my dreams ooh such sweet dreams! Hehehe…
WARNING WARNING alarm siren goes off DISCLAIMER: THIS SHIT…(oppsie) STUFF! (yes stuff..that the word) MOST OF IT IS NOT HOME MADE THOUGHTS! It's stolen from right under your noses! TV shows, CARTOONS, movies…blah blah blah…. Get it? Good!
Anyways this chapter continues from the last and this one is for all the macaroni on macaroni lovers! BAHAHA you'll soon find out what I'm talking about! ENJOY!
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"I'm hungry… can we eat Nemo now?" Rikku asked.
"My squishy!" Lulu yelled, grabbing the fish from Auron's arm.
"I'm so alone", Wakka bemoaned.
"Hungry!" Rikku reminded, "food now!"
"It's peanut butter and jelly time! Peanut butter and jelly time!" Tidus sang.
"Wait!" said Yuna suddenly.
"What?" they all asked.
"We have and Australian author…they say "jam" not jelly…"
"Yeah but "peanut butter and jam time" just sounds stupid."
"Fine!"
"Fine!" Tidus echoed, "it's ham and cheese sandwich time! Ham and cheese sandwich time!"
"Eww, I hate ham." Said Rikku.
"Blue berry pie time?" suggested Lulu.
"That's more like it! Macaroni!" Tidus nodded.
"Umm okay, macaroni." Repeated Yuna.
"Macaroni pie?" Wakka thought out loud.
"Don't be stupid, Wakka," Lulu quipped.
"I'll be good if you sleep with me!" he bargained.
"Hell no…you loser! I think it would be better if you slept with that…
"COCK!!!" shrieked Yuna.
"This is just getting strange now," Tidus observed.
"Let's get some shoes," Yuna suggested.
So they went to the shoe shop in the middle of the desert.
"These shoes rule," said Rikku.
"These shoes suck," said Lulu.
"These shoes suck," said Auron.
He grabbed the front of Tidus' shirt and dragged him out of the shop.
"Hey, where you goin' brudda?" Wakka asked.
"I got somethin' to stick in Tidus," Auron yelled over his shoulder.
"What?" Tidus and Wakka said together.
"At the Gay Bar!" Auron explained.
"Okay…" said Tidus.
"I wanna take you to a Gay Bar," Auron sang.
"Hells yeah!!! Wait…what?" Tidus said startled.
"Oh you're going to have fun, ya?"
"Flashing lights everywhere. Girls on girls, guys on guys." Auron was singing.
"Woo! Macaroni on macaroni!" Tidus cheered, doing that weird fist pumping thing of his.
"Hey," said Wakka suddenly, "can I come too?"
"NO!" Auron shouted. "You're not pretty enough!"
"Am I not pretty enough?" Wakka sang out of key, "is my heart to broken?"
"Ok, ok…I think that's gay enough!" Auron said, "you can come…"
"Wooo YUM! When can I have macaroni on macaroni?" squealed Tidus.
"When you're old enough," said Auron, "remember, I still have to keep you safe, for Jecht."
"And yet you're taking me to a gay bar?"
"Jecht would have wanted it this way," Auron said quietly.
"That's one crazy, honey, gay man, ya?"
"He's always been like that," said Tidus.
"Tiduuus," Auron whined, tugging on his sleeve, "are we there yet?"
"Yeah! Bring on the macaroni!" Doing his "oohhh yeah" mating dance.
They walked in the bar and were surprised to see…
GIANT COCKS! And…cookies?
A sign saying 'come to the dark side…we have cookies.' Was posted on top of the cookies.
"Must…join…dark…side," Wakka chanted.
"Dad!" Tidus shouted, staring at what was absolutely Sir Jecht standing in front of them.
"Heeeey! Auron!" Jecht yelled, pulling him into a big, gay, squishy hug.
"My squishy!" Auron shouted happily.
His hand was wondering down to his ass….but he realised he had no material covering it.
"Remind me why I decided to come here," said Wakka.
"You wanted to get pissed and "accidentally" get naked?" Tidus suggested.
"Oh yeah…"
"Hey kid," said Jecht, "Auron and I are gonna go…uhh…"catch up" in that hotel across the street."
"See ya!" Auron cried, unusually chirpy.
Him and Jecht skipped away, holding hands and singing, "you touch my tralala" together.
"It's raining men! Haliluli it's raining men!" a man with pink lip-gloss walked passed singing. He stopped and turned to face Tidus.
"Raarww!" he purred.
Tidus gaped.
"Wakka!" he cried, unsure of how the redhead had managed to get drunk, slip away and dress in drag in such a short space of time.
"Dat's right baaabeee," he slurred.
"Lulu's gonna kick your ass!" Tidus laughed.
"Surprise! Crotch grab!" Auron yelled from nowhere, grabbing Tidus' uh…"tralala".
"Dad!" Tidus yelled angrily, "you let Auron at the whisky again didn't you?!"
"I'm not gay!" Jecht blurted out.
"Huh?"
"Don't mind me, I just wanted to clear that up."
"But you and Auron just-"
"Relax, runt. I only wanted to play with his dingaling for a while."
"DAD!"
"What? It's just so big though! Auron – show him your dingaling-"
"I can't," said Auron, "Jecht, you're still holding it."
"This is not happening," Tidus groaned.
"Ey, Tidus!" said Auron.
"Oh no, what?"
"I got somethin' to stick in you!"
"is it your dingaling?" Tidus asked in a monotone.
"Hell yeah!" Auron cheered, sticking his bells on a string in Tidus'…
"Wow," said Wakka, "it must feel weird to have the great, Legendary Guardian Sir Auron's dingaling in your mouth."
"They taste like pikachus!" he said.
"How do you know?" asked Wakka.
"Well put the you know what you know where!" Tidus said bluntly. "You know the pokeballs? I captured one when I was at the blitzball stadium. Phyduck confused me coz I wanted to have roosted duck. He made me go for Pikachu…and well yeah…" he explained.
"That made no sense what so ever," said Jecht.
"BAHAHA! Hells yeah it didn't!"
"WHAAA…LOOK AT THOSE NUTS!" Wakka pointed in the direction of the bar.
Tidus sighed, "Wakka…do you want some nuts?"
Wakka nodded hopefully, trying to look cute.
Tidus sighed again, "fine, here's some Gil, go get some nuts."
"Yay!" he shouted, running off to get some nuts.
He was seen giving that Gil to the bartender that was also a gay stripper whore…
"WAKKA!" Tidus yelled, "I paid you to get the OTHER kind of nuts!"
"Awwww! But I want his nuts!" whined Wakka.
"Wakka, you have your own."
"Nu-uh!" he protested, "those belong to Lulu."
A drink mysteriously appeared out of nowhere and Wakka took a sip, then handed it to Tidus, who handed it to Auron.
"Fuck, what's in that? Auron asked.
"I don't…"
All three guys collapsed on the floor, unconscious.
"Hee hee hee", Jecht giggled, putting Auron's hand on Wakka's butt.
Meanwhile, at the shoe shop…
"That's it…I've had enough! I'm hungry and I don't care if it's a gay…uh Auron?" Rikku said as she barged in.
She shrieked and Jecht knocked her out. Yuna saw from the open door and was screaming frantically. Then she fainted because she forgot to breathe. Lulu entered.
"My Squishy!" Lulu yelled, looking at Auron and Wakka, "my squishy is contaminated!"
She took Tidus' drink, sipped it and fell out of consciousness too. The monk then appeared and stole everyone's clothes and put the boys in an all girls school and the girls in an all boys school.
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End notes: hey I hope you liked that! I sure did! Kyra and I…and a bit of Jo made this chapter unbelievably stupid and full of DINGALINGS and NUTS! Woooo!!!! Leave us a comment on how you liked it or hated it! we'll get back to you…I promise and Narkness…your request is included in the other chapters that are coming…I'll have it typed and posted soon I hope…it won't be the next 4 or so chapters though…I'm sorry about the inconvenience… but we will still put it in there! Anyone else who has any ideas it would be nice to hear what you would like us to put in here! anyways have a great day! I babble too much :p
