Charlaine Harris owns these wonderful characters. I'm just toying with them.

I froze, utterly aghast at the situation. Then as Conan raised his blade something inside me snapped.

I took a rapid step in front of Eric. Whatever the knife bearer saw in my face had him flinch back. Eric's hand on mine went from comforting to restraining but I couldn't feel the contact anymore.

I started shaking. Everything from my toes to my eyelashes seemed to tremble. Conan dropped his blade. Pain ripped up my back and I fell to my knees with a cry. I got back up, pushing up off my thighs and positively growled at the assailant before me, "Get away from my bonded."

I've never seen a vampire back down before in a fight. This one did. He wasn't the only one stepping away from me though. Even Pam and Eric moved aside a few paces. I closed my eyes and started articulating my severe disgust with the situation.

"Me and mine have bled enough! I was taken by my great-grandfather's enemies and tortured within an inch of my life while my husband was bound in silver by Victor. Not two weeks into my recovery I was taken by the same piece of shit vampire who intended to do who knows what to me and kill everyone I care about to boot. I will not stand by and watch Eric punished for trying to save me, reaping vengeance on my killer or mourning me."

I was vaguely aware that my feet were no longer on the floor. The air around my head was vibrating slightly and ruffling my hair. My vision was actually red.

"I have had enough!" I shouted, enunciating each word as if I was dealing with a foreigner. "Eric said we'll take care of De Castro's kingdom and so we will. It will flourish under our reign. We will have the support of many loyal friends and the backing of my great-grandfather. We will be respected by all the other regents. Now get out and let us take care of business already."

Everyone before me cowed. Everyone except the Ancient Pythoness.

She had the gall to laugh her hissing face off again.

And then I saw myself. Not in any mirror but as Eric saw me. I was hovering about a foot off the ground and he had placed a hand on the small of my now bare back. He was actively trying to show me what he was seeing.

Red eyes without pupils rolled in my head. The effect was not dissimilar to the white eyes in the face of the evil empress. Great white wings fanned out behind me from my spine, billowing gently like an artfully serrated silk sheet. That was as much as I could take in before I collapsed on the floor.

I held my head trying to will away the rage, that image of myself as a hideous monster, and to make the world stop spinning. The cool conditioned air brushed over my back and I felt Eric drape Jason's jacket over me. Pam's torn sweater was clinging to my front by a thread. He encircled me with his arms and gently lifted me to my feet.

Oh yeah, there was still music to be faced and no time for a breakdown. How I wished I felt as badass as I had looked a moment before. Instead I felt deflated, exhausted, sad and starving.

"My sister," said the Ancient Pythoness.

Come again?

More raspy laughter.

"Fuck you," I told her.

I am Vampire hear me cuss.

Sorry Gran.

"That's no way to talk to family," she said.

Yeah, because we vampires were all just one big happy family!

"I don't class people who want to amputate bits of my nearest and dearest, family," I spat out.

"Leave us," she commanded of the room. "Only Eric's progeny and the panther may stay."

Everyone filed out as if in a trance save Pam and Jason. Eric gave Indira a significant look. Some humans would be going away with big holes in their evening not caused by alcohol.

The Ancient Pythoness tapped her index finger, which I had just noticed had an exceptionally long sharp finger nail on the end of it, on the arm of her chair. Then limber as a daisy, she stood up. From under slits in her brown woollen cowl topped cloak, large black wings of her own filled the space around her. She too began hovering an inch or so above her platform and her wispy hair twitched around as if she were being electrocuted.

"We Fae are not meant to consume the blood," she said. "The elder vampires did not know when they began feeding me their blood, to prolong my life to make use of my skills, that I was the half human daughter of Eoghan Brigant. I had already lived some handful of centuries and my fragile human body was ready to pass. On the day my body died the villagers put me in the ground. I rose seven nights later.

Hours after I rose I had a vision of another like me, surpassing me in all respects, rising in the same manner with no commanding maker. I did not believe that it could be you, you were so distantly Fae. Forgive me for provoking you so cruelly. I had to test my theory. I know now you have much to adjust to. Your new nature will give you every advantage but it will also make you a target for danger."

She returned to her chair and the wings retracted back under her cloak. "Northman, come to me," she commanded.

Eric went without hesitation, his arms round me replaced by Pam's.

She took his hand. Eric's face contorted and then relaxed. She appeared to be showing him something in the same manner I could see when I touched Eric.

"You must protect each other. You will have everything but not without cost," she told him. She looked toward me. "I may finally be able to retire," she mused.

She released Eric and the retinue re-appeared. They ignored us entirely and seamlessly shouldered the great portable throne and were heading for the exit. I'd seen these silent instructions before in older vampires and their children exemplified between Sophie-Ann, Andre and the Berts. She must have at least one child in the bunch.

"Farewell," she called over her shoulder. "If you ever chance to visit, remember to bring the panther with you."

With that they were gone. There had been no bloodshed. There wasn't even a skirmish. However, as the stress of the situation took its toll, all three of us looked whipped. Pam moved me to a booth and sat down beside me. Jason collected up his food and brought the remnants over and shoved them at me, managing to not quite look at me. Eric came toward us and sat down quietly.

I couldn't think on anything. I was done processing for the day. I was a not-quite-fairy not-quite-vampire hideous monster with freaking wings.

I ate cold fries. I prodded around in the half empty containers. I looked at Jason.

"You finished the mayonnaise."