Edward's POV

Edward's POV

I postpone death by existing, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing. I am a century old an impossible age, and my brain has no anchor to the present, instead it drifts, nearly always to the same shore. That unlike most days though had me worried about the future. That girl haunted me although I did not sleep if I could I would dream of her.

They say that love is the best thing that can ever happen to a man that it will make him whole, that everything will suddenly make sense. No-one said it would be this painful, this unfair, this mistake. I could've killed that girl, Bella, what a beautiful name, it rolls off the tongue like honey- never wanting to leave. Alice of course knew about how I felt, though she was distraught about Jasper's disappearance she seemed confident he would return, so naturally she turned her attention to me.

"That girl, who is she?"

"No-one" I replied hoping she would drop the subject.

"You called her Bella, how do you know her name?" I was worried now, how much had she seen?

"I don't know" I replied truthfully, this was as much of a mystery to me as to her. Then her eyes glazed over, a tell-tale sign she was having a vision. Her features twisted in anger.

"Don't you dare do what your thinking Edward Cullen, I'll never forgive, and she'll never forgive you?"

"I don't have a choice Alice, I could hurt her, it's too selfish, too dangerous, besides I wouldn't know how to start."

"Being selfish is not acting for your own good but ignoring someone else's, do you not think she needs you as much as you want her? Beginnings are scary. Endings are sad but more often than not Edward it's what's in the middle that counts." I had never seen her so passionate about a subject before, well, other than Jasper. Was that really what love cold do to a person, I wondered.

"I'm a monster" I spat who was she to interfere?

"Never give up on what you can't go a day without thinking about." She was almost shouting now, probably angry at my stubbornness.

Then I told the truth, something I had barely even admitted to my self, the truth always seems the hardest words to say.

"I'm so afraid; I've been alone for so long Alice."

"Then Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for."

Her expression softened as she touched my hand gently "Oh, Edward" she sighed.

She left me then with lots to think about. Without that small human girl nearby I felt strongly empty, and though I thirsted for her blood, a small part of me was willing to admit I needed her. When I was told I was invincible no-one mentioned I cold still die of a broken heart.

So needing quiet I sat for hours or days, I can't be sure in my room, talking to no-one thinking only of Bella, my Bella. The milky curve of her throat, her chocolate brown eyes and auburn hair. She was burnt onto my memory so I could see her every time I closed my eyes.

Finally I sighed, having reached a conclusion and pulled myself to my feet, though it took almost all of my will power. My decision didn't please me, but I couldn't let her go to waste.

I wondered what it was about the shadows that drew my spirit in? The damnation? The isolated darkness?
I would have given up my Stygian soul to know.

Sorry guy's short chapter , but I'm making it my aim to update every day, so please don't hurt me. As usual reviews make my day, so if you would be so kind as to click that little blue coloured button in the bottom left of your screen now Ladies and Jelly spoons… Yum jelly.