"Alice?" I asked as I pushed the deer carcass away from me and wiped the corners of my mouth.
"Are you sure you want to go?" Alice replied quietly. I sighed. Of course she would know what I was planning to do.
"I'll only stay with Tanya for a little while. Just until things settle down again."
"Please. We need you here," she said quietly, a pleading edge to her voice.
"Alice, I can't stay here right now. Not while Edward is galavating off across the state, and not with your father like this..." I trailed off. It hurt badly, even to think of him now. And it hurt just as much to think that I would be leaving my family, even for a short time. But I knew I had to leave, to give him the space he clearly wanted.
I saw Alice's eyes cloud over for a minute, and the smallest flicker of a smile across her face as she returned to reality. "Things will work out," she said defiantly. It was a sudden contrast to her previous expression.
"Do I want to know?" I sighed.
"It will be better if you wait for the full effect," she suggested, and I felt a little better.
"We'd better get going then. You don't want to be late for school," I said with a weak smile, and wrapped my arm around her waist. She returned the favour, and we took our time walking back to the house.
Rosalie and Emmett were upstairs when we got home, while Jasper was waiting for Alice at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on the banister.
"How was your hunt?" he asked in his deep voice as his eyes lingered on Alice's for a moment. The connection that was between them, the relationship they had, was something I had never seen before. It was almost magical, the way they could almost read each others minds, have whole conversations just by looking at each other.
"It was ok, thanks," Alice said lightly and danced to his side. "We came across some deer, and had a couple each."
"You look well fed," he smiled, and traced his fingers under her eyes, reaching down to kiss her gently.
"And Esme?" he asked as he straightened. "Are you ok now?"
"Better, thank you sweetie," I murmured, not meeting his gaze. "I'll be upstairs if anyone needs me, Alice."
I darted past the up the stairs without sparing them a glance and flew into the master bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I looked around at the white purity of the room, and flung myself on the bed. There, I let my dry sobs overcome me once again.
A few hours later, I heard a knock on the door.
"Esme?" Alice asked, peeping round the door. "We're off to school now."
"Ok, have a good day," I mumbled into one of the pillows.
"You will leave before we return, wont you." It wasn't a question, it was a sad statement.
"Yes. I'm sorry, dear. I will be back before you know it." I couldn't bear to look at her with the knowledge that it may be weeks before I saw her again. "Tell the others I'm sorry, and that I love them," I whispered.
I heard the door close behind me, followed by the sound of Edward's Volvo pull out of the garage. I sat up in bed, realizing that if I was going to leave, I would have to pack. Without really noticing what I was packing, I threw clothes into a suitcase, a couple of books and my sketch book. Walking over to my dressing table, my eyes rested on a picture. It was of Carlisle and I, sat on a cloudy beach somewhere, laughing at a forgotten joke in each others' arms. His cheek was pressed against the side of my head and my arms were wrapped softly around his waist. I lifted it up from where it stood, and put it in my suitcase. Looking around the room once more, something else caught my eye. It was one of his scarves. I walked slowly towards where it hung over a chair, and realized that it was the scarf he had worn, that night by the lake, where he had told me for the first time that he was in love with me. My eyes pricked dryly, and I swallowed as I picked it up. Holding it to my nose, I could smell him, and I breathed in deeply. I placed it with the picture, and fasted the zip of the suitcase. Giving the room one last look, I shut the door quietly and flitted down to the garage.
"Is Doctor Cullen available?" I asked the nurse at the front desk of the hospital nervously. I don't know what had possessed me, but I had decided to come and tell my husband that I was leaving, albeit for a short amount of time, in the hope that he would try to stop me. That doesn't seem too likely, I thought sadly.
"I'm sorry, he's in theatre at the moment," the nurse replied, giving me a nervous look. "Can I ask as to who is enquiring?"
"His wife," I said quietly, looking down.
"Esme, is it?" she asked me a little more confidently.
"Yes. How did you know that?" I asked curiously. I had never been to the hospital before, and confused as to how she knew my name.
"Oh, well, Dr Cullen speaks adoringly of you, Mrs Cullen," she smiled.
"I'm glad to hear that," I said in what I hoped to be a flattered voice. But that hardly seemed likely at the moment.
"Can I pass on a message?" she asked helpfully.
"Yes, please. Would you please tell him that I am going to Denali to stay with Tanya and her family, just for the moment," I said slowly, trying not to give anything away to the nurse, who looked like she was one to gossip.
"Denali, Tanya," the nurse repeated as she wrote it down. "Got it." She smiled at me and I thanked her.
"Esme?" I heard a voice from the open doors, just before I caught his scent.
"Carlisle," I sighed. Even dressed in garish green scrubs he still looked like a Greek god. His brow was furrowed as he surveyed me.
"Esme, what are you doing here?" he asked, taking me aside and standing by the wall.
I looked up into his eyes, and found myself momentarily stunned by the soft gold of his eyes. "I just came to tell you that I'm going to stay with Tanya for a while," I stuttered. This was the most we had spoken in a week.
"What?" he asked, alarmed. "Why?"
"Just until things... settle down," I said, looking down again.
"Esme, is something bothering you?" he asked in a concerned voice.
"Me? Not as much as something seems to be bothering you, my dear," I replied sadly, and I turned to walk out of the doors.
"Esme, wait!" Carlisle called after a moment. I stopped outside the hospital doors as he ran out to meet me. "What do you mean?"
"What I mean, Carlisle, is that I can see that Edward leaving us again has taken its toll on you, and I can see that I bother you, being around. You need time to collect yourself. But it hurts too much for me to stay and watch."
"I'm hurting you?" Carlisle asked after a pause.
"It's just... it's just I know that I'm irritating you. I can see it in your eyes, the way you hide up in your office... I just want my husband back," I choked, taking a step back. "It's been a week..."
"Oh, Esme," he sighed. "My Esme." He closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me. I stood still, as hard as stone and as cold as ice.
"Carlisle, please, don't pity me," I requested sadly. "The world doesn't revolve around me."
"Esme, sweetest, I am so incredibly sorry," he breathed into my ear, and I shivered. "I was so consumed with my grief for our son, that I forgot. I forgot about taking care of you."
"And that's ok," I insisted, pulling away from him. "That's why I'm going to Denali. I'll come back when your ok again."
"But that wont be possible," he said earnestly, entwining his fingers with mine as drops of rain began falling from the dark clouds above us. "Because you are my cure, you always have been. You always will be." He leaned into kiss me, but I pulled away.
"But you have hardly spoken to me for a week," I whispered.
"Oh Esme. Darling, sweet, caring Esme. I am so, so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I truly am. I never knew what I was doing to you, and I cannot apologize enough," he said earnestly. "Please, forgive me."
"Carlisle..."
"Please," he begged. His eyes were so sad, I couldn't help but fling my arms around his neck.
"Don't apologize. Just love me," I whimpered into his ear as I felt my heart swell with him.
"Esme, I've missed you," he whispered into my ear.
"I've missed you too, Carlisle," I cried quietly.
"I've hurt you so," he said in a strained voice.
"It doesn't matter, so long as it's over now." I pulled away from him and look at my husband again. The rain had begun to pour down, and we were both soaked already. I wiped the rain out of his eyes and ran my fingers through his hair again. He pulled me closer in his arms again, running his hands up and down my sides and brought his face down to meet mine in a mind-blowing kiss. Clutching at his shoulders, I pulled away from him and stared.
"You taste good in the rain," he chuckled quietly as he pulled a strand of hair away from my face.
"So do you," I said, and smiled. "Too good to be legal."
"Is that so?" he asked, and leaned back into kiss me once again. Placing his hands firmly on my waist, he gently traced his tongue along my lower lip, when a wolf-whistle come from behind us.
I pulled away as I suddenly remembered where we were. "Oops," I giggled, as Carlisle waved at the doctor who had interrupted us.
"A week is too long," he sighed, looking down at me once again. "Let's say I take you home and we can get out of our wet clothes?"
"Don't you have work to do?" I asked, although that was the last thing I wanted.
"I can work something out," he winked at me, and kissed me deeply once more.
"See you when you get home," I grumbled as he darted back into the hospital. I heard him chuckle as I walked back to my car. How could such a horrible day turn out so good in one short conversation?
"I love you," I called after him, knowing that he would hear.
"I love you," I heard him reply in such a quick voice I knew no one would hear but me. I wanted to run down the street and sing to the heavens, dance to the sound of the rain on the road. Carlisle loved me, and nothing, not the ticking of time, not the boarders of countries, not even our own son leaving, could ever change that, and it was silly of me to think otherwise. All the whispered words, every gentle touch and sweet kiss, was that not enough to remind me every day of how my husband loved me, and I him? I couldn't help beaming to myself as I drove home.
