Ch. 11- The Truth Can Be Unpleasant
Mizore opened her eyes, her vision fuzzy. Her head was laid out on the mattress. She was vaguely aware of Yusuke standing by the mouth of the cave, his back turned to her. When she lifted her head, the springs groaned loud enough for him to notice. "Oh, are you conscious now, Ms. Shirayuki?"
"When did I fall asleep?" she asked groggily.
"Well, you cried pretty hard for about twenty minutes, and then you just…I don't know, passed out?" Yusuke noticed her face turning a slight shade of pink. "There's no need to be embarrassed, you know. Everyone needs a good cry every once once in a while." Even so, Mizore couldn't help feeling a little resentful to herself that she had caved like that. "Feeling any better?"
Mizore thought about it. "A little."
"That's good. Anyway, the storm has finally moved on, but the rock steps leading up are still slick. I'd give you about thirty more minutes until it's safe to go out."
He walked back toward her and grabbed two suckers from the bags. "I was thinking about something while you were dozing off. You never did tell me what caused you to be suspended in the first place."
That's right; I never did, she thought, taking the lollipop from him. "You remember that girl, Ashiyo, who you and Shadow scared off the other day? Her and some other students were bugging me about the whole 'Ryuu' business. Since they wouldn't leave me alone, I tried to popsicle one of them in class."
"Really? Has this been happening a lot?"
Mizore nodded. "I don't know why, but many of the female students started making fun of me when they realized how I felt about Ryuu. I didn't think I was being obvious about it or anything, but they caught on to it. They would stop me in the halls, insult and mock me."
"That girl must have really pushed your buttons if you tried to freeze them." Through his impassive mask, Mizore saw surprise etched on Yusuke's face.
"Why do you say that?"
Yusuke shrugged. "You just don't seem to be the violent type, is all. Well," he added, "besides that time you attacked me when you first showed up."
It was true. Mizore had never fought back when the crazed girls harassed her time and again. There were times when she was close to cracking, but she held her composure and walked away. They never did anything direct to her. It was all just meaningless insults.
How would someone like Ryuu ever consider going out with a loser bitch like you?
But Mizore wasn't as resilient as she imagined. Ashiyo was proof; her remark had been the one that cracked the tip of the mountain and started the avalanche.
"Does Yokai Academy normally allow its suspended students to wonder off of its grounds?"
Mizore could guess what he was getting at. If she was supposed to be at the school, then someone would be sent to look for her. And that was something Yusuke wanted to avoid.
She explained Ms. Nekonome's unexpected visit and the Headmaster's one-day waiver to her punishment. When she finished, Yusuke visibly relaxed. "That's rather fortunate. It seems like you got friends in high places watching over you."
"Yeah, right," she replied.
"I'm being serious here." He sat on the mattress to Mizore's left. "You mentioned that your mother was angry with you for getting suspension, right? What'd she say, exactly?"
And so Mizore recounted the phone call with Yusuke, trying to glaze over how badly she had handled it. Yusuke merely looked at his feet as he listened, nodding occasionally. "And what about your friend? You said she was avoiding you for some reason?" Mizore also told him about the bizarre encounter that morning; how everything went blank for a while, and Matoko shouting at her and running away, looking scared.
"And you think she ran away because of you?" Yusuke asked.
"Yes," Mizore answered. "No. I don't know. I mean, that's why I wanted to find her during lunch, to get some answers. But she had some sort of private lessons to tend to. I was starting to think that she was purposefully avoiding me for some reason."
"Has she been acting odd at all before this?"
"No…"
"Then how do you know for sure she's avoiding you?" Yusuke asks. "I mean, I don't know this Matoko girl, but the way you described her, she isn't the type to just abandon you. This IS a school full of monsters, after all. Everyone has their quirks. All this tension you have inside of you is making you overthink things."
Mizore stayed silent. What kind of rebuttal could she use to counter that? Yusuke was right, she had overreacted. She had doubted her best friend, the only friend she had since she came here. And for what?
"Look," Yusuke continued on, "all I'm saying is that you should talk to her next chance you get. I'm sure she'll have a reasonable explanation for this. Give her a chance."
"Yeah, you're right," Mizore said, voice shrunk from shame. How could I have ever doubted her? She had always been there to look out for me.
"And you should do the same with your mother." Before a refusal could even form in her mind, Yusuke held up his hand. "You didn't actually think I'd believe how calm and collected you were with your mother's reaction, did you? Knowing you, you probably flipped out as bad as she did."
Mizore got to her feet, looking down at Yusuke scrupulously, wondering if he was a psychic like Matoko. "So you know me, now? Weren't you the one who said I didn't seem like the violent type?"
"And I stand by that." Yusuke said, unnerved. "However, from what I've seen, you can sometimes let your emotions cloud your judgment."
That drove the point sighed. "Okay, so I did lose it a little on the phone, but my mother didn't understand the whole picture! How could she know of what I'm going through?"
"That is the question, isn't it? How could she know?"
He looked at Mizore, who realized by his silence that the question wasn't rhetorical. "I…"
"Exactly. She doesn't, because you…didn't…tell…her." His gaze turned intense. "You were both so hot-blooded, from you getting suspended for something that wasn't your fault and your mother for the unexpected phone call, that neither of you acted rationally. Have you ever taken a moment to think how you would have felt if you thought your daughter was doing well in school then you get a phone call like that?"
If Yusuke had a dollar for pointing out every wrong Mizore had done, he wouldn't have to live in a cave if he really cared to. And Mizore had little ground to guard against it.
"You should give her a chance just like Matoko. Now that you both have had a chance to cool down, you should explain to her what's going on. If she still doesn't understand, that the fault is on her. But the ball is on your side of the court, so to speak. You're move."
Yusuke's tone lessened, but his eyes and attitude still retained its usual criticalness. "You can take my advice for what it's worth, Ms. Shirayuki. In this earth, whether your monster or human, the truth can be unpleasant sometimes. What matters is whether you face the truth and move on, or you bury it and suffer. That's up for you to choose."
"Fine, I'll choose," she said, holding back her irritation and wishing this conversation would cease. She was tired of his usual onslaught of questions. How could she have believed that he wouldn't lecture her on how to live her life?
By this time, sunlight had shone through the rock window, illuminating the once dark cave. The sound of the waves splashing onto the cliff below reverberated into the cave, setting a sort of calm atmosphere. In contrast, Mizore stared at Yusuke, who was softly scratching a newly awoken Shadow. Why do I feel so angry with him? she asked herself.
Then she remembered his words: "You can sometimes let your emotions cloud your judgment."
Probably because he seems to know more about me than I do.
Mizore breathed slowly to calm herself down and glanced out the window. "It's getting late," she stated, grabbing both empty bento boxes and taking a step toward the exit. "I'd better go if I plan on tracking Matoko."
Yusuke nodded. "I appreciate you stopping by for lunch, Ms. Shirayuki. Watch those steps on your way up."
"I will," she said, turning away and moving toward the exit.
"Ms. Shirayuki!" She had gotten to the first step of the stairwell when she stopped and peered back inside. Yusuke was slowly walking toward her, his hands in his pockets. "You may not think it, but Matoko cares about you. The same goes for your mother, your teacher, and the headmaster. They all care about you." He stopped at the entrance, a faint trace of the compassion he conveyed before flashing in his eyes. "Take a look around you sometime. You never know. You may find you're not as alone as you once thought."
Mizore looked at him for a moment longer, and then continued climbing the steps. Yusuke watched her until the path twisted around the cliff face and she was gone. Something fuzzy brushed his hand as Shadow sat by his side, looking up at him with big, attention getting eyes.
"She's a stubborn one, alright," he said, glancing back up where the snow girl disappeared.
"I think that will be all for today," Ms. Jones announced as the school bell rang.
Matoko whipped the sweat off her face, fighting for air. "And what…exactly what was the point of all that?"
Ms. Jones smiled, obviously enjoying herself. "Why, this exercise helps build discipline and control of the mind. I know it's uncomfortable, but it's the fastest way to accomplish it. You did very well, especially for someone who's never done it before. Although," she giggles. "You sort of died out in the end. But that's to be expected."
"Small comfort," Matoko remarked, heart rate starting to return to normal.
"Anyway, you'll be going to class again tomorrow, just like normal. I expect you to practice just as I showed you before. When we meet again next week, I want you to be able to hold out for far longer that." Ms. Jones laughter echoed down the hall as she left.
"Yeah, right," Matoko muttered, straightening her dress before exiting herself.
Moving with the sea of students leaving for the day, Matoko eventually made it out of the main building and was on her way toward the female dormitory. I wonder what Mizore's been up to all day? she thought. I hope she's alright. What am I going to say after what happened this morning? Is she going to hate me because I lost control? A memory suddenly surfaced. One of her parents. Matoko's first incident, where she had lost everything.
Then a thought came to mind. Maybe she doesn't remember it. Yes, the shock of it might have caused her to forget about it entirely. It was a slim chance, but Matoko held on to it like a lifeline.
Inside the dorms, she dodged and maneuvered around the little groups and clusters of female students that normally littered the dormitory bottom floor. She climbed a set of stairs and stood outside room 107. After a slight hesitation, she knocked on the door. No answer. "Mizore, are you in there?" She knocked again. Still no answer. Strange… suspended students aren't allowed outside their rooms. Where is-
"Matoko?" Turning, she saw Mizore walking toward her, a surprised look on her face. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to check up on you and see how you were doing," Matoko answered. "Where have you been? Aren't you supposed to be in here?" She gestured toward the room.
"Well, yeah, but…" Mizore started, and then she took out her key and opened the lock. "Let's go inside, I need to talk to you."
"O…kay," Then Matoko noticed the two boxes in her hands. Bento boxes?
Matoko closed the door behind her, and sat on the vacant chair, watching Mizore. "What's with the bentos?"
Mizore walked to the trash and tossed them in. "I didn't eat breakfast this morning, so I was pretty hungry." She walked back toward her bed and sat down.
"So where have you been, Mizore? Isn't it breaking suspension if you're out of your room? I don't think you should be making the matter any worse than it already is."
"Ms. Nekonome came by around lunch. Apparently, I got written permission from the headmaster releasing me from dorm arrest for the day."
"The headmaster did that?" Matoko asked, the image of the man dressed in exorcist clothes popping up. "Why?"
Mizore shrugged. "I suppose he thinks I did nothing wrong."
Matoko raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "If that were true, he should be getting you out of suspension entirely."
"Yeah." Mizore felt her throat tighten in anticipation. "Actually, after Ms. Nekonome came by, I wanted to find you and eat lunch with you. But the teacher said you had some sort of private lessons."
"Yeah," Matoko grimaced, imagining Ms. Jones idiotic laughter. "I did, though rather unexpectedly."
"You see, I wanted to ask what had happened this morning."
So much for her not remembering, Matoko cursed, but she kept her expression blank. "What do you mean?"
Mizore looked away. "I don't remember exactly what happened, but I do remember you looking at me with this frightened look on your face before running off."
Matoko noticed that her friend was acting rather odd. Why is Mizore so nervous? Then she noticed that she was nervous too, afraid of how Mizore would react when she knew what had really happened.
Mizore turned to her, eyes locked on. She asked softly, "Matoko, why did you run away like that?"
And there it was. The question was out in the open. Matoko felt cornered. She felt fear creeping up her body, fear of losing her friend because she had lost control. "I…well…I," she stammered. Mizore's expression changed from nervousness to hurt, as if Matoko's inability to speak had confirmed her suspicions. "I'm sorry, Mizore. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. It just came so quickly, I didn't even see it coming."
"See what coming?"
Matoko took a deep breath and, before she could stop herself, said "I lost control of my powers."
The sentence hung there in the air for several seconds. Matoko looked down at her feet, unable to look at Mizore's shocked and terrified face. She expected her to run, or to tell her to leave.
"What?" Mizore's tone was that of pure puzzlement, as opposed to that of the expected fear. "You lost control?"
The fear will come. Who needs someone with an unpredictable power? "Yes," Matoko said. "My psychic mind went haywire, and I started to read your mind."
Mizore inhaled sharply. "Wh-what did you see?"
Matoko looked up, and was surprised by the anxious look Mizore had. "Well, I don't remember much. But I remember something about a nightmare…and white flowers…" She struck a chord. Mizore's eyes became slightly frantic, and she was beginning to sweat.
"Anything else?" she breathed.
"No…" Now it was Matoko's turn to be puzzled. "Reading someone's mind isn't like reading an open book. I only get these small glimpses, but nothing really solid. Mizore, are you alright? You're growing pale." Matoko thought about what she just said. "Well, paler than usual. Is something wrong?"
Mizore deflated like a balloon. "No, everything's fine. Wait, so that's it? You were only afraid because you were reading my mind?"
"Unintentionally, yeah," Matoko said, not understanding her reaction. "But that's why I had those extra lessons. I have a private instructor who is training me to gain control, so something like that won't happen again."
"So you really did have lessons…and you only ran because…"
"Mizore?"
"I'm sorry!" Mizore suddenly shouted, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Matoko. I thought you ran away because you didn't want to be my friend anymore! I thought that…that you were purposefully avoiding me."
"What?" At first Matoko was relieved that Mizore didn't hate her for what happened, but then her indifferent personality was back up and running. "Idiot," she scoffed, "why would you think something as far-fetched as that?"
"You're the idiot here!" Mizore shot back. "Freaking out thinking I'd leave you because you're stupid powers went crazy. There's no way I'd stop being friends with you because of that! You're my best friend, my only friend, here in Yokai! And don't you doubt it for a second!"
"Mizore…" Matoko whispered. She stood up, sat by Mizore's side and wrapped her arms around her. "Thank you. You don't know how happy it makes me feel when you say that."
Mizore returned the hug. "We're both idiots," she said, chuckling. When they separated, she asked "So it's good that you're learning to control your psychic powers, right? What exactly do you do in these private lessons, Matoko?"
"Er," Matoko hesitated. "The instructor had me do these mental exercises, like detecting the mental signatures of other students in the school, and trying to block her out. All the while she just sat on her desk and giggled. She even made me try invading her mind, trying to 'get me used to the chaotic flow' or something. Exhausting." She rubbed her forehead, feeling a migraine coming. "You have no idea how hard it is to do that to an experienced psychic, let alone when your mind is sealed."
"Well, of course not!" Mizore said with a smile. "You're the psychic here. I'm just the overreacting snowgirl."
Overreacting…Mizore thought about Yusuke. He had said Matoko would have a good reason, and he was right. I WAS overreacting. He was right all along.
"Mizore, what is it?"
"Nothing, just lost in thought for a second," she said quickly, making a mental note to visit the flower field again to thank him.
"Well, since you have a day of freedom, do you want to visit the shopping district? I need to take a quick shower first; today's training left me rather sweaty."
"That sounds great. I think I'll do the same, considering I've been outside nearly all day, eh...er, enjoying the freedom. So, I'll see you in a few minutes then!"
Matoko closed the door behind her. She took a few steps down the hall before stopping. Mizore's words came back to her. You're my best friend, my only friend, here in Yokai! And don't you doubt it for a second!
A single tear ran down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away. She didn't leave me, after all. Mizore's a very dear friend. Maybe I am really an idiot after all.
I'd never give up our friendship for anything.
Matoko stepped off down the hall to the staircase leading up; her room was two floors higher. She had just reached her door when another thought came up. But wait, something is a little…off. Why did she want to know exactly what memories I saw before? She was so defensive, like she was hiding something…
She shrugged and entered her room. Ah, who cares? It's none of my business. Despite herself, the thought made her smile. That's right…no one's business is my business. Not anymore.
Author's Note: I hate to admit it, but I've never felt more iffy about a chapter than this one. Too much dialogue, maybe? idk. I hope you enjoyed it just as I have all the same. R&R!
