Hey guys! Ok, I love this story, but I'm having trouble working out how to get it to where I want it. I'd appreciate people's opinions on what they want. This chapter is going to lead into a super sad chapter so be prepared! Anyway, thank you for taking time to read this story and my wild ramblings. Love you all-Theivydaggers

Phil's POV:

The room was quiet. I was staring at my feet, avoiding eye contact at all costs. My cheeks felt hot and even though the morning was warm I had Goosebumps. My stomach felt like it was churning around, mixing everything up. I felt the need to throw up. My eyes flickered over to Dan, who seemed to be in the same situation as me. I sighed.

Dammit Pj.

"Why are you both gloomily looking at the floor? This is cute in a kinda weird way!" Pj announced cheerfully forcing me to look up. He look a tinsy bit awkward, but otherwise quite happy for us. I joined him with a shy smile and he pulled me into a bear hug, spinning me around the room. I yelped and he laughed, our voices mingling in the now not so unpleasant air. I joined in him laughing; telling him to let me go. He chuckled and placed me down on the floor, swaying a bit.

We both looked over at Dan who had a grin spread from ear to ear, showing off his pearly white teeth. He walked up to Pj smiling and Pj hugged him. I saw that he whispered something to Pj causing Pj to laugh but nod anyway. I frowned. Damn my non-existent lip reading abilities.

"So…" Pj started patting us both on the shoulder giving us cheeky grins. "Are you an item?"

I looked at Dan. Are we? I really didn't know. At first, my response would be yes. I liked him so much and wanted him for so very long. But then I remember my parents. Dads scolds and mums glares whenever I brought a boy home or told them I might be bi. Mum's shrieks of hatred. Dad's burning words that scarred me. Mum bursting into tear and telling she's rather have a dead son then a faggot. I felt my eyes watering up.

"No." I said.

"Yes."

"Uhh…"Pj stuttered looking at us both. Dan's head shot around at me.

"No?"

"It's just…"

"No?!" Dan snarled at me before running off and slamming the door in his room. I let a few tears fall when I hear his heart wrenching sobs. I broke him. I don't deserve a guy like him. There's no way he could ever fall for a guy like me. I groaned and rested my head in my hands.

Good job Phil, snag the guy of your dreams then shatter him. Really good.

"Fuck."

"Sorry Phil I didn't mean to…"Pj started, knowing he had somehow crossed a line when asking the question.

"No, no it's ok. Can I just be alone with Dan for a bit?"

"Yeah. Yeah sure. I'll go down to the shops ok? Be back in 40 minutes?" His greens eyes scanning my face desperately trying to look for a emotion on my face. I kept it blank. I felt cold. I felt like I was living in my own little ice world where no one else could reach me. I felt like I could never feel warm again.

"Ok. Bye Pj."

Pj left and once again I was alone. My mind is a mess; a mass of stars I cannot form into constellations. I felt unstable. Walking was going to be difficult. The only thing that interrupted the silence of the house was Dan's muffled cries. I needed to see him, to hold him. To tell him it's ok.

My feet thudded down the hall and stopped at Dan's room. I sigh.

"Dan?"

"Piss off Phil."

"Dan please open up."

"Fuck you."

"You won't let me in will you?"

"Good job for fucking noticing. Bravo Phil. Bravo."

I was going to try talking to him again, but then My Chemical Romance was being pounded out of his bedroom door, drowning out all sound in the house and all arguments from me. I sigh.

This was going to take a while to fix.

I walk over to the couch and let the soft cushions wrap around me. It's times like this that I beg the world to just open up a whole and swallow me whole. Why do I ruin every good thing that comes into my life? I've had Dan for less than a week, and I've already ruined it.

Then again…I never really had him.

He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to second guess every feeling he has.

He doesn't need me.

He doesn't need such a fucked up person in his life.

I groan and rest my head in my hands, listening to the music hammering into my skull…

'I'm not ok, I Promise.'

Dan's trying to get a message through to me obviously. I listen to the words that roll off Gerard's tongue like poetry.

"Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, its better off this way."

Tears leaked from my eyes.

For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took, remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

Those trickles of warm salty tears turned into rivers very quickly.

I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay, you wear me out.

Why am I such a fuck up?

There's a knock at the door, interrupting my mind from the music. I frown, my brows furrowing together as I looked at the clock. Pj said he wouldn't be here for another 35 minutes. Why on earth is he back already? I looked longingly over at Dan's bedroom, but he was still locked in there, the music drowning out all other sound.

Slowly I walk over to the door and open it.

"Peej I thought you said you'd be…"

Oh no.

"Hello Phil. Nice to see you again."

Michelle stood at the door, her long raven black hair trailing wildly down her back. Her pale skin and dark brown eyes that looked almost black just made her look more terrifying than ever. Her eyes flickered dangerously, like there was a fire shooting sparks. Her lips painted a deep ruby red and her eyes catlike. She wore a black leather jacket over a Nirvana shirt with a pair of blue skinny jeans.

"Get the fuck away from my house!"

"Is Dan home? I really want to see him." Her smile was cruel and her voice dry and sarcastic, venom coating every word.

"I'm telling you to go away before things get nasty."

"Oh I really don't think you should say that."

"Why not? It's about time someone told you you're a venomous bitch." The words were spat out of my mouth and her eyes widened and then seethed at me. Her hand dug into her jacket and pulled out something shiny.

Something metal.

A shiny black revolver, the barrel aimed straight at my skull. Her hand was steady with the gun and her voice overly sweet and sickly. My confidence faltered.

"Now, I didn't want to have to kill TWO people today. I have a hair appointment in a little while. All I wanted to do Phil is come here, kill Dan's miserable little life, have some cocoa and then get my hair done. Is that too much to ask?" She tilted her head to the side smiling at me, the gun still at my head.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

My body trembles but I put on a brave face. Sweat is coating my back and hands, my life flashing before my eyes. I was going to die wasn't I?

Well fuck.

"Come here Philly, into the hallway. Good boy. " She walked me slowly out to the hall, walking away from the door to my house. She waited until I was against the wall before she continued talking.

"Now Phillip, how do you feel?"

"Shitty."

"Why is that?"

"The last thing my best friend and love will ever remember before I die is that I had a fight with him."

"Oh?" Her eyebrows rose slightly and she smirked, her teeth gleaming in the harsh light of the hallway. I could smell her perfume that drenched her skin. It smelt like she had sex with a rosebush. She laughed lightly before continuing. "So he really is a gay faggot then?"

"Bi actually, but I'm sure to you it doesn't make much difference." My eyes glared at her, cold and harsh. She chuckled tilting her head to the side, a few strands of her hair getting stuck in her lipstick.

"No I suppose not."

I grunted slightly and she grinned, before turning to look at the door to our apartment. Her eyes focused elsewhere, I realized this might be my one shot at knocking that monster out of her hand.

Everything happened so quickly. My fist clenched and wacked her hard in the temple, causing her to swear and stumble but not drop the gun. She growled at me and hit back, her fist connecting with my jaw and making an audible crack. I was seeing stars, my jaw felt like it was on fire. I grabbed at her hand holding the gun; she was desperately trying to raise it to my head and I was trying to lower it or break her grip. We both swore and her spare hand tried to swipe at my face, one of her rings scratching my cheek, but not seriously hurting it. I kneed her in the gut and she doubled over, her finger still wrapped tight on the gun.

And then something hit me.

The bang rang in my ears as I doubled over in pain. My hand went down to my leg, my pale, trembling skin instantly covered in ruby red blood. My thigh felt like it was on fire, the burning feeling hot and intense. I cried out in pain as I felt something dig into my thigh, opening the wound more. My vision was getting clouded, everything seemed foggy. I was losing a lot of blood. I managed to focus on the figure above me, Michelle laughing and digging her hand into the wound. Dark spots figured in my vision and everything way going a bit more distant. I felt hot breath on my neck as Michelle whispered the last words I'd hear before I passed out.

"Have fun in hell fag."

And then…darkness.

Fuck! Ok, didn't think I would make that chapter so intense but look what happened. What will happen? What's next? Well if you continue reading, you might just find out. Please review and favourite and I am sorry that this took so long to write, I just had MAJOR writers block. I love you all. -Theivydaggers