Marisa cracked one eye open and groaned.
She had barely slept, having spent most of her night fuming and, even though she wouldn't admit it, worrying.
But today was another day and the Fifth Stage of the Gensokyo Games had to be played.
The blonde got up and stretched, thinking about the various things she had to take care of before leaving her room.
First, she had to take a bath. Her hair was starting to look greasy and she was sure she smelled a little. Then it was dressing and deciding which 'item' she would bring to Chireiden. How she would beat the Scarlet Devil and kick Reimu's pride in the ass.
Remembering the miko made her scowl.
She would show her.
After the shower, Marisa got her things in the backpack and went straight to Alice's room, loudly knocking on her door.
"Heeeeey sleepyhead! We should be heading to Former Hell now!"- she yelled, still pounding on the door
She stopped for a second trying to listen to the familiar sounds of Alice getting ready but none came.
The black-white scratched her head confused. Her friend was usually the one who got up first.
Maybe she should make sure that the Doll Maker was awake, even with the risk of being bludgeoned by said girl.
Throwing caution to the wind she opened the door only to find an empty room.
"Alice?"- she called, entering
She checked the bathroom, the closet and even under the bed but there were no signs of the Puppeteer.
"Just where did she go?!"- protested Marisa going down the stairs- "Is not like her to miss important things like this!"
Still complaining she opened the door to end up face to face with a sleep deprived Alice.
"The hell?!"- said Marisa looking at her like she had grown a second head
"Good morning to you too"- replied the Doll Maker sarcastically before pushing her aside and going upstairs
"Where do you think you're going?! We have to get to Chireiden now!"- yelled the Ordinary Magician demandingly
Alice gave her a pointed look while she opened the door to her room, vaguely surprised that it wasn't locked.
"I know. I'm going to change and I'll meet you there"- she said tiredly- "And don't you dare yell again or I swear I'll make you regret it"
"Alice…!"- started Marisa only to be interrupted by the door closing rather loudly
The black-white grimaced at the sound and crossed her arms.
What was going on with her?
Blowing a strand of hair that insisted to fall on her face she went out, not in the mood to wait for the Puppeteer.
The skies were clear but she could see clouds slowly making their way towards Gensokyo. The morning air was chill and Marisa rubbed her arms attempting to warm herself. She disliked cold. It made her feel defenseless.
Nitori and Patchouli were already waiting for her when she finally reached the entrance to Chireiden.
The kappa looked around her puzzled
"Where's Margatroid?"- she asked confused
"Back at the Forest I suppose. What am I, her nanny?"- replied the black-white annoyance clear in her voice
"Hey, don't be like that Marisa"- said Nitori putting up her hands defensively- "I'm asking because she's always with you and you live in the same dorm"
"She should be here by now"- complained the Magician- "What's taking her so long?"
The Unmoving Library nibbled on her lip a little nervous. Marisa being in a foul mood was a new –and displeasing- experience. She didn't know what to do to cheer her up.
The blonde's annoyance picked the moment Reimu and her team appeared.
The miko didn't spare a single glance towards her when she passed her by, surprising the rest of the teams.
Marisa clenched her fists.
There was no way she'd let the red-white claim victory. Over her dead body.
A few minutes later Alice walked towards them in a calm manner that unnerved the Magician.
"Finally!"- she said accusingly- "Drag your ass quicker, Alice or we'll get disqualified"
"Wow, since when do you care about time, huh? I'm here now, so quit complaining. Let's go down and get this over with"- replied the Puppeteer sourly
Patchouli and Nitori exchanged a look.
The Unmoving Library was sure that something was going on, noticing how Reimu and Alice were acting.
But what could it be?
Hopefully she'd get a chance to talk to Marisa afterwards.
They descended once more into Former Hell with the other teams following suit.
At the bottom of the stairs they met with Shikieiki who stopped them from going any further. She was holding a light in her hands while Komachi, a little behind her, held her own illuminating the Yama's figure. Everything else was covered in a deep darkness.
"Welcome to the Fifth Stage of this Gensokyo Games, girls. I hope you´re prepared for this because this day you will be facing some really tough tests that will determine whether you're worthy or not of competing in the Extra Stage. Keep your eyes open and your senses alert"- she said seriously
"Have fun and don't die!"- teased Komachi letting them pass.
The teams advanced carefully, unsure of what to expect.
Even though it was impossible they sure felt a wind blowing and howling around them like a ghost hidden in that pitch black abyss.
Alice couldn't see a thing. She could barely make the silhouettes of Marisa and Nitori ahead of her.
A hand suddenly grabbed her shoulder and she was about to yelp when she realized it was only Patchouli.
"You almost made me scream"- she whispered
"I am very sorry but I cannot see anything down here and we should all keep as close as we can. Who knows what they have in store for us"- replied the Weekly Witch seriously before quickening her pace and catching up with Marisa and Nitori
A couple of ghastly lights that resembled those of the will-o'-the-wisp floated around them before dispersing through the place. Even though their light didn't illuminate much it lasted long enough for Alice to notice Patchouli reaching for the black-white's hand.
The Puppeteer bit her lip and shook her head.
She didn't have time to waste thinking about it. She had a stage to clear and a friendship to repair.
On Remilia's side she wasn't having any trouble making her way in the darkness. Flandre and she truly deserved their 'vampires' nicknames seeing as they walked swiftly, almost carelessly, effortlessly leaving the other teams behind them.
She was sure they had already surpassed Reimu's team for a good five meters when she heard a muffled cry.
She turned, worried. The Scarlet Devil would recognize that voice anywhere.
"Sakuya?!"- she whispered as loudly as she deemed safe
"O-Ojou-sama…"- came the soft reply
"What happened? Are you ok?"- asked the vampire worriedly
"Y-yes, I'm fine, Ojou-sama"
Remilia could see how the Maid struggled to get up and walk towards her. She wobbled a little before reaching her, trying to hide her limping as much as she could.
She wanted to scold her for making such efforts for her and she'd quit the Games if that meant Sakuya would stop and rest but…she simply couldn't throw all of that to waste and simply dismiss the girl's pride, which was more precious to her than her own.
So, instead of the reprimand she meant to give Sakuya, she wordlessly offered her arm and helped her walk, happy that the surrounding darkness concealed her growing blush.
The teams kept walking and the sounds of some girls tripping were the only ones that interrupted the wind's eerie howling.
The lights continued appearing and disappearing randomly, unnerving Marisa.
"Something's coming"- she muttered
The atmosphere was turning warmer and lighter and the wind stopped.
Then a 'meow' could be heard all through the place.
In front of them a redheaded girl appeared.
She wore her hair in two braids, adorned with black ribbons. Her dress was also dark in color- deep green or black- and black cat ears rested on her head. The whole cat disguise was completed by the black tail that could be seen peaking from behind.
She approached them smiling pleasantly, carrying a wheelbarrow like it was the most normal thing in the world.
"Welcome, welcome! Glad to see you've made it this far!"- said the girl- "In case you don't know me I'm the cute Orinrin and I will be your Stage Boss. Take out whatever items you've brought and think fast! More than three hits mean you're out and also remember that I have to get three hits from each team before you can continue so I hope you're ready for my zombie fairies!"
Saying that she took off the blanket that covered the wheelbarrow and little girls dressed as undead fairies leaped from the inside, each one of them carrying their own water guns and water bomb and circling them.
The teams readied themselves for the imminent attack and at Rin's signal the fairies started throwing their bombs.
More and more fairies appeared from seemingly nowhere turning the place into a complete chaos of water bombs and battle cries.
Sanae's team was clearly struggling while Reimu and her team did very well on their side, effectively avoiding some critical hits and getting rid of the majority of fairies that tried to circle them but they weren't getting any closer to Rin so they couldn't clear the stage just yet. The Corpse Tour Guide was fast and very dexterous when it came to shooting and with the amount of fairies that flocked towards them it was increasingly harder to move near the Stage Boss.
The Shrine Maiden of Paradise yelled to her team and urged Suika and Aya to create an opening for her to attack and missing her target by a mere centimeters. She cursed under her breath as she kept trying to attack Rin all the while trying to see whether Marisa had landed a hit on the redhead before she could.
She was quite relieved to see that the black-white and her team had been detained far from them and far from Rin. The kasha kept moving between her team and the Scarlet Devil's.
On Remilia's side she was frustrated. Concentrated as she was on protecting Sakuya she hadn't landed a single attack on Rin and stayed near the Maid, trying to get rid of any fairies that pretended to attack them.
"Be careful, Sakuya!"- she yelled seeing how a little girl was close to getting her with her water gun.
"I avoided it!"- replied the Maid doing her best to stay firmly in place despite the pain she felt
Remilia let out a frustrated sigh knowing she couldn't move any further and leave her behind. The Perfect and Elegant Maid seemed to notice this and bit her lip.
"I'm fine, Ojou-sama!"- tried to reassure her Sakuya
"No, you're not! Didn't you sprain your ankle when the stage started?"- accused the Scarlet Devil
"Pay attention to the fight, Scarlet, or you'll be out in a second!"- teased Rin trying to attack her from behind the circle of fairies
The redhead ran around her, throwing 'bullets' at her with incredible speed. Sakuya, who was usually way faster than her, could barely keep up with the zombie fairies that were trying to get between them. The Perfect and Elegant Maid seemed almost overwhelmed by the amount of little girls awaiting their chance to catch her.
"Ha! Like you're going to stop me from winning this!"- laughed Remilia evading Rin's 'bullets' and 'killing' some of the zombie fairies that were bothering Sakuya
"Oh believe me, I am! We would love to have the trophy here at Chireiden!"- smiled Rin shooting her 'bullets' – "Once I take down the Maid, I will end you"
Saying that, she sprinted right towards Sakuya and in a second the Scarlet Devil intercepted her, kicking Rin away from her Maid
"Ojou-sama, please stop being so reckless!"- protested Sakuya throwing 'knives' at Rin but missing
"No! I won't let anyone near you!"- replied Remilia, dodging the attack of one of the zombie fairies
"Why! I said I was fine!"- objected the Perfect and Elegant Maid, tripping a fairy with her 'good' leg
"Because I love you!"- answered Remilia back, pushing Rin- "I don't want you to get hurt!"
"What?!"- asked Sakuya a grin widening in her face, despite the fact that she was still fighting off at least ten fairies- "I couldn't catch that!"
"I SAID I LOVE YOU!"- yelled the Scarlet Devil blushing, looking at her intently only to divert her gaze again- "Oh screw this! SPEAR THE GUNGNIR!"- she claimed, taking the spear off her back and running towards Rin
Sakuya felt like she was floating.
Her Ojou-sama had said it…
She had finally said it.
Even if the timing was completely off as they were currently in the midst of a battle.
Meiling and Flandre had caught up with them and were actively fighting off the myriads of zombie fairies under Rin's commands while said girl was running around shooting more 'bullets' engaged in combat with Remilia.
"Hey, Orin! Leave my sister alone, I'm more fun!"- taunted Flandre smiling like a maniac
"Two Scarlets down in a row? Must be my lucky day!"- greeted the redhead charging against her
"It isn't lucky yet!"- laughed Flandre, drawing her own spear- "It's Laevateinn time!"
Sakuya looked around.
Meiling had teamed up with Flandre, trying their best to trap Rin successfully landing a two hits before the girl managed to run away from them.
Girls were fighting and shooting 'bullets' and kicking and tripping each other.
And while the scene was nothing short of...intense, she swore she could hear the lovely sound of a piano in the back of her mind…
Maid and the Pocket Watch of Love.
Remilia had said it.
She was in love with her.
She had said it.
So she did the only sensible thing to do
"MAID SECRET SKILL: KILLER DOLL!"- she shouted, grabbing all the 'knives' she could, readying them for throwing
She was going to fight.
Patchouli stared at the scene smiling tenderly.
Seeing her friend finally confessing her feelings made her truly happy but her distraction was cut short as Nitori shouted at her for standing and almost being 'killed' by a stray fairy that had somehow escaped Marisa's last attack.
"Pay attention, Knowledge! we're too close to win this to get distracted!"- she yelled as she charged her own water gun –more like a bazooka- and getting rid of a large group of approaching fairies.
"Where is Marisa?!"- asked Patchouli, doing her best to attack some fairies
"Trying to catch Kaenbyou!"
Like Nitori had said, the Magician concentrated all her efforts on landing the required hits, with Alice acting as her support.
Both blondes were panting from all the running they had to do trying to circle Rin after she had escaped Meiling and Flandre.
Much like a cat she did her best avoiding them but now it seemed like she didn't have any chance to escape. The kappa and the Weekly Witch were a barrier between the fairies and them, leaving the two blondes to defeat the Stage Boss.
"On my count!"- said Marisa making a sign to Alice
The Puppeteer nodded and proceeded to attack Rin, effectively guiding her towards Marisa who landed the last blow.
Rin admitted defeat and told them to wait on the sides as the battle continued on.
There they found Reimu's team who were fanning themselves. The miko gave the Magician a look of tauntful pity before turning towards Letty who looked like she was melting.
Minutes passed in an uncomfortable atmosphere before Remilia and her team approached them and a bell rang signaling the end of the stage.
Now there were only three teams competing.
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After a small break they were guided by Rin deeper into Chireiden.
The place got even darker and…hotter?
Marisa wiped the sweat that trickled from her brow. She wasn't imagining things, it was truly getting hotter and hotter. And she was sure she could see an orange light dancing in the walls, like the one that would come from a fire.
Rin continued guiding them, humming happily.
And then, she halted at the verge of a lava river.
Fire was all around them. Or at least it seemed like fire.
It was –most likely- another trick from the kappas but it looked awfully real. Alice wasn't sure it was completely harmless.
"Welcome to the Hell of Blazing Fires!"- said a voice and they all turned to look at its source
A brunette with long hair was walking towards them, gracefully stepping on the stones that lead towards where they were standing.
She had her long hair adorned with a green bow. She had a blouse with puffy sleeves that had something resembling a red eye with a slit pupil in the middle. Her skirt was also green but the surprising thing about her appearance was that under the skirt her leg seemed to be encased in something. And one of her arms ended in what looked very much like a cannon. She had black wings coming from her back and draped over them was a white cape with a deep blue interior, decorated with a thousand stars.
"My name is Reiuji Utsuho and I will be your Stage Boss. So are you ready? The rules are fairly simple: SURVIVE OR BURN!"- she said
With those words the fires increased in intensity.
Everyone got into a defensive stance as Utsuho raised her cannon arm filling the place with a blinding light. Balls of light started raining on them from the ceiling and they started dodging.
The girls moved swiftly, trying their best to avoid the light 'bullets' that continued to fall on them, courtesy of the Subterranean Sun.
Remilia and Sakuya decided to let Meiling and Flandre take the offensive this time, fully knowing that the Maid wouldn't resist having to in such close range from the Stage Boss. Utsuho not only fired from the ceiling but also directed her cannon arm towards the girls that dared to approach her.
The Eternally Young Scarlet Moon was confident though, her little sister was faster than most and had already managed to land a hit on the Hell Raven when Meiling was distracting her.
The girls from the other teams weren't as lucky.
They were struggling with the dodging. While Suika had managed to sneak near Utsuho she wasn't fast enough to strike her and if it weren't for Aya's quick reflexes she would've lost to the Subterranean Sun. Reimu was in a frenzy, moving in between the falling bullets and instructing Letty to assist Suika.
She had planned to attack with Aya when Marisa had crossed her, inadvertently ruining their strategy.
Reimu yelled to her angrily while Patchouli made use of her own item and tried to attack the Stage Boss with the help of Nitori but failing to do so. Alice shouted to her to try again and continued dodging the bullets.
Marisa tried to attack once more, following the Puppeteer's directions but Reimu got in her way, making her miss the shot.
Suika once again attempted an attack with Letty but the Magician moved and blocked them, not only making them miss the shot like she had but distracting them long enough to be almost hit by Utsuho's cannon.
Reimu and Marisa continued hindering each other's attacks.
Soon, they weren't even paying attention to the chaos around them and instead starting arguing loudly, getting into each other's personal space and leaving all the fighting to their teams.
"GET OUT OF MY WAY, HAKUREI!"
"YOU GET OUT OF MINE, KIRISAME!"
"I DON'T MAKE WAY FOR LIARS OR TRAITORS!"
"F*CK YOU!"- roared Reimu- "I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS STUPID GAME! I QUIT! STOP THIS ALREADY! I QUIT! LET THE STUPID MARISA CONTINUE ON!"
Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked at the furious Reimu and the gaping Marisa. Nobody said anything while the Shrine Maiden walked away from them.
A Yama descended into the Hell of Blazing Fires and stopped the miko from going away
"Are you aware what you're doing? If you quit your whole team is going to be disqualified. You're a stage away from winning the Games, are you sure that's what you want?"
"I want to f*cking leave, ok? I don't care. You want to disqualify me? Then do it. As I said, let the stupid Marisa continue if that's what she wants. I'm over this bullsh*t"
The Yama opened her mouth to reprimand her for swearing but fearing Reimu's anger she simply nodded before letting her go.
Then she turned towards the rest of the girls
"Seeing that Hakurei has decided to quit, I must disqualify her whole team. Ibuki, Whiterock, Shameimaru, I'm sorry but rules are rules. The winners of the Sixth Stage are Scarlet's team and Kirisame's team! You will be the ones competing tomorrow in the Extra Stage"
Even though it was exactly what both teams wanted no one dared to cheer.
Reimu's rage seemed to linger in the atmosphere, oppressing them.
Patchouli stared at Marisa.
The Magician's body was trembling with fury and her hands had tightened into fists. It seemed like she was about to punch someone. She looked exactly like she had when she had gotten into a fight with Kazami last year and the memory was still fresh on her mind. She knew she couldn't say anything to her, she wouldn't listen.
"Then so be it"- muttered the black-white before leaving
Nitori and Patchouli trailed behind her, Remilia's team following suit.
The Hell of Blazing Fires was almost empty now and it took a moment before Alice realized she had been left behind by her team.
She made her way back to the Forest, dragging her feet reluctantly.
Marisa's door was closed and she knew that the Magician had locked herself inside. She stood in front of her room hesitantly, her hand freezed before knocking, deciding against it at the last moment.
There was nothing she could say to either Reimu or Marisa that could help them and she felt sad and powerless.
What in the world could she do?
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Alice woke up and stared at her ceiling in pensive silence.
Today was the day.
The Extra Stage.
After Reimu's team was disqualified during the Sixth Stage all that stood between them and the Gensokyo Games prize was the Scarlet Devil.
For the first time she felt like she didn't care at all about what happened. Not when Reimu and Marisa weren't speaking and the miko had left the stage, surrendering in an anger induced decision.
She couldn't blame her though.
The Puppeteer got up with a sigh and put on her gym uniform once again.
She had to meet the others rather soon.
The day was chillier than the others and the cloudy skies contributed to the gloomy feeling that pended over the group of girls waiting.
Yamaxanadu and Komachi arrived telling them the Extra Stage was about to start and they went down the stairs with the other girls that wanted to watch.
Downstairs they were greeted by all the former Stage Bosses as the Extra Stage Boss came forward.
A girl with whitish green hair, cladded in a long sleeved yellow blouse with diamond shaped buttons and a green rose patterned skirt with ruffles. Her face was shadowed by her black hat with a yellow ribbon.
Purple cables seemed to go around her body, connecting to a purple ball near her heart.
She raised her head with a cheery yet unsettling smile as she approached the two competing teams with light steps.
It was Koishi.
The Closed Eyes of Love bowed in front of them and her childish voice filled the expectant silence of the basement
"Welcome to the Extra Stage of this Gensokyo Games. As you may know, I'm Satorin's sister and counterpart"- with that she shot a glance to Satori- "I hope you're ready to face the intricacy of the human mind"
The eight participating girls exchanged confused looks as they followed the Closed Eyes of Love to the space that the Hell of Blazing Fires had occupied before. Awaiting something as extraordinary they were disappointed to see that replacing it were eight futons, neatly placed one beside the other.
Koishi's smile widened as she innocently sat on one of the beds, surrounded by the perplexed girls.
"Conscience. It's the state of mind you all claim to be in. You trust it, your deeply engraved beliefs of what reality consists of, the foolproof rationality you've been taught for years since you were born. Nothing but lies made to turn a simple life into a myriad of complications. The mind is built upon these lies about what reality, morality, life and love are. About the way they are supposed to be. The neonate Ego crushed under the overwhelming force of the Super Ego. Oh how they struggle, both desire and duty. Do you know what fuels, what stores and protects desire? The truth underneath?
The Unconscious Mind.
The place where the true you awaits, hidden in darkness. The most obscure desires, the irrational anger and fear, the uninhibited joy, the unjustifiable wants. Unspeakable dreams and nightmares, lurking behind that mask.
That is what I'm going to show you"
She got up in a quick movement and stretched her arms, proudly presenting them with the beds.
"I really hope you're ready"- she said sinisterly as she improvised some ballet steps- "Otherwise, you'll be crushed"
While the rest of the girls seemed intimidated, Flandre felt her body warm up in anticipation.
Koishi had refused to tell her how the stage would be, assuring her she'd do everything in her power to end up their plan successfully.
Knowing the girl, they were up for a challenge of unprecedented difficulty. Koishi was a girl who was both incredibly simple and incredibly complex. Simply put she always did what she wanted barely stopping to think about anything else, it appeared as she never had reasons but in reality...
The Imaginary Personality Holder offered a bandage to every girl and told them to choose whatever futon they liked best. Once they were settled she instructed them to wear the bandages as blindfolds and to wait.
The silence was so thick only the soft breaths of the eight girls could be heard.
Suddenly the place went dark, the only light shining upon the beds.
Cloaked figures started moving from within the shadows in a solemn procession and stood surrounding the girls. They lurked, whispering ominous words.
I am your mother.
Your grandmother.
Your great grandfather.
I'm the first one
The girls turned their heads towards the voices unable to tell where they came from. Remilia was sobbing quietly while Nitori mumbled. Marisa was holding her head in her hands trying to block the sound. Flandre was twisting and turning in bed, gritting her teeth harshly. Patchouli laid on the futon like a corpse while the cloaked figure next to her whispered in a cold monotone
Alice curled up tightly in a ball like she could protect herself as the voice murmured gently in her ear
It was me. I was scared. And my fright scared her too. You don't know me but you will once you realize. You have her eyes. Her pretty blue eyes. My pretty blue eyes.
She begged in her head for it to stop.
The seconds felt like stones bruising the soft, defenseless tissue of her skin.
Suddenly, a bell sounded and the cloaked figures retreated. Koishi stepped forward and told them to take off the blindfolds.
Many of them had red eyes from crying. They stared at each other like they couldn't recognize them.
The Closed Eyes of Love made a curtesy and clapped
"You all passed! How did you like all the ancestors standing beside your beds? I hope the experience was entertaining enough"
"What the hell Komeiji?!"- roared Marisa
"Nothing, black-white. Aren't you glad you had that chat?"
"That was morbid"- shook her head Nitori while rubbing her arms
"Well, aren't you glad you passed? This is far from over so let's keep going!"- said Koishi happily walking away
As they followed her something started falling from the sky
Alice looked up and realized they were about to get drowned in what looked like pink hearts.
"Oh yes"- said the Imaginary Personality Holder casually- "Beware of the nstinct! Releasing the ID is a dangerous thing!"
With those words she ran away from them and they tried to keep up as they avoided the falling hearts.
Remilia made a scowl in disgust as she realized that the hearts got stuck to her.
They were truly being drowned in hearts.
To their utter surprise Koishi had stopped in front of them and her body seemed to attract thousands of blue hearts, that quite like the other ones, stuck to her.
She smiled wickedly
"It's time for you to meet the Super Ego!"
She raised her arms and the hearts flew towards them, making them dodge desperately.
Koishi laughed joyously as she moved, new hearts being thrown their way.
"Remember to rekindle and feel the Embers of Love to the fullest!"
Patchouli shook her head as she tried to keep up with the rest of her team. Being the less agile of the four made it difficult for her to avoid the heart-bullets like the rest did. Alice and Nitori dodged quite expertly and Marisa had quick reflexes.
On Remilia's side, Sakuya's ankle slowed them down a little but with the help of Meiling they were able to continue with Flandre leading them with determination clear in her scarlet eyes.
Koishi's stage was a challenge like no other.
They kept going on until the Closed Eyes of Love and the heart-bullets stopped abruptly.
They were in front of a labyrinth of roses and thorns.
"Are you ready to face the Philosophy of the Hated?"- she exclaimed animatedly- "Go through and beware of the thorns. Nobody likes to be prickled, right? I'll meet you on the other side"
The girl's exchanged a look between them before going in.
They realized with no little anxiety that the thorns moved as well, nearing and retreating randomly as they advanced on their elbows and knees through the narrow spaces in between.
They did their best not to move too fast or too slow, the thorns coming uncomfortably near their necks.
Alice made her way a little behind Sakuya and Remilia, having lost Marisa and Nitori inside the maze. She couldn't see Flandre or Meiling either so she didn't know who had the lead.
Patchouli crawled behind her stubbornly trying to match her pace.
After long and painstaking moments they finally reached the end of the labyrinth.
Koishi was waiting for them after a set of two pillars that signaled the goal.
"Ready, steady, go! The whole team needs to pass for you to win!"- she shouted cheerfully- "The race is on!"
The girls started running towards Koishi, Flandre quickly gaining the lead. Meiling was following suit and Marisa was in a tight third place but was coming closer and closer to the Chinese Girl. Nitori was running in fourth place and it didn't seem like she'd be able to speed it up anymore.
It all happened too fast and too slow at the same time.
She noticed how the pillars shook with footsteps the moment Flandre ran past it. It was an unstable structure. It tumbled when the youngest Scarlet grazed it with her fingers.
But they had to keep running. Marisa had said so.
She saw Alice running, trying to catch up with the black-white, but like her, she was already spent.
They paused for a minute to catch their breath.
And that was when it happened.
Marisa had looked back at them.
Meiling had ran past them too. Marisa cursed.
The pillars tumbled again.
They started falling.
She looked at Marisa.
Marisa was looking at Alice.
In the brief seconds before the pillars fell, Marisa had ran.
Not to her… but to the Puppeteer.
She had launched towards her, pushing her off the way.
She saw.
She saw the pillars over her.
And that was all she remembered before drowning in black, with the thundering sound of collapse around her.
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Patchouli sat up in bed, looking at nothing in particular.
Nurse Eirin had left her a while ago to talk to Principal Yakumo about her condition and she had nothing to do. The infirmary was empty and she had to rest. She wasn't allowed to leave the bed or read. Having her head hit the ground so hard, she understood why they didn't want her moving but she thought forbidding her to read was plain exaggeration, she was sure her brain was fine.
The light that came from the infirmary's windows bathed the otherwise depressing room in its warm, slightly orange light. She sighed in content.
Autumn.
She loved autumn.
Summer had already left and the air was chilly, the leaves having turned into a fantasy of golds and reds.
She closed her eyes, imagining herself back at the Scarlet Devil Mansion and its library, staring through the window at the falling leaves while the fire in the chimney heated the room, keeping it pleasantly temperate.
She smiled softly.
How she longed for the familiarity of Voile's dim corners and its sheltered walls! She had been so busy trying to prepare for the Gensokyo Games she had neglected her own sanctuary…all for Marisa.
Her purple eyes fluttered open and she squinted, readjusting them to the light.
…Marisa…
A sigh escaped her lips and died, leaving the room as silent as it was before.
She was about to go back to sleep when the door creaked, signaling that someone was entering.
She lifted her head, expecting Nurse Eirin and her report but instead, her eyes met the only ones she didn't want to see.
Alice closed the door gently and walked towards her, carrying a flower bouquet.
"Good afternoon, Patchouli"- greeted the Doll Maker, leaving the flowers in the little nightstand- "How are you feeling?"
The Weekly Witch refused to acknowledge her presence and obstinately turned her head away from her.
"I take you don't want me here"- said Alice- "So I'll make this brief. I simply came to see if you were ok and to make sure you didn't get any ideas…what happened at the Games was surprising for both of us…I didn't expect Marisa to…well…all I wanted to say is that you don't have to worry. As I told you at the start of the semester, she's dating you and I'll respect that"
"That's right"- muttered Patchouli rancorously- "She's dating me. ME!"- she yelled and fisted the sheets- "ME! ME! ME! SHE IS DATING ME! AND YET YOU ARE ALWAYS IN THE WAY!"
Tears started streaming from her eyes and she broke down, crying convulsively. Her whole body shook with each sob, while she hid her face behind her hands.
"Patchouli…"- whispered Alice sitting beside her.
She tried to reach for the girl's hands with her own, only to have it slapped away by the Unmoving Library
"I do not need your pity nor your sympathy, Margatroid"- she hissed, her eyes narrowing- "I am alright, and now that you know, if that was truly your reason for coming, you may leave with an answer"
"Why won't you talk to me?"- sighed Alice sadly- "Whatever did I do to you?"
"Oh, what, what! As if you were not aware what. How grand must it be to come here and mock me! What, you ask? Simply put, you took Marisa from me…no, more than that…she could never be mine because of you"
"Marisa is not a thing, she doesn't belong to either of us! And what do you mean? It sure didn't seem like I was in the way when she chose to date you, when she chose to kiss you"- replied Alice, muttering the last part
"Hahahahahaha! You are as blind as her! What sort of relationship can be true when the other is thinking of someone else? Date me…yes, she agreed to date me. I honestly cannot say why. It would have been best if she did not. You seem confused, Margatroid. Let me tell you something. Do you know what we used to talk about?"
Alice shook her head, unsure of where the conversation was heading.
The Unmoving Library laughed bitterly, tears flowing.
"You"- she said pointing to the Puppeteer accusingly- "Our most recurrent topic was you. Whether it was her remembering one of your silly anecdotes or wondering why you were skipping breakfast. One way or another, you would always creep into our conversations, no matter how much I tried to focus them on something else...anything else…"- her voice broke
The Doll Maker's heart thumped wildly and she blushed, unable to contain the rush of heat that made its way up to her cheeks. She put her hand over her chest, where the beating came from. Loud, desperate.
She couldn't reply to Patchouli.
All the emotions she tried to keep buried inside were suddenly emerging.
Doubt. Hope. Anxiety. Happiness.
She felt divided.
The sudden jolt of joy she had felt was quickly dying, seeing the Unmoving Library cry her heart out.
Guilt. Justice. Compassion. Comprehension.
She touched Patchouli's shoulder with the tips of her fingers
"She cares about you a lot, you know"- she said, trying to console her
"That means nothing!"- cried the Weekly Witch- "The way she cares about me is not the way she cares about you! The way I wish she would care about me! You are all over her thoughts, all over her heart! I have tried everything in my power to get closer to her, to maybe, just tilt her heart a little towards me…am I not enough?!"-she wailed- "Why is it that no matter how hard I try I can never compare to you?! Why?! What is it that you have that I do not?!"
Alice smiled weakly, remembering Parsee's words. She sighed and forced Patchouli to look at her.
"Nothing"- she said, looking at her straight in the eye- "There's nothing. That's not the point"
"Then, what is? Do tell! Because I have looked for an answer for too long and I have none!"- complained the Unmoving Library trying to dry her tears
"The point is…Patchouli…there is no logical explanation for feelings…Marisa cares about you, I know that. And I know she cares about me. Obsessing over whether that means she's in love with either of us is pointless when truth is…until she says so, we'll never know. You are looking for an answer you won't find because the only one who can give it to you is her. Who knows if she's even thought about love at all…so please, stop crying…"- she said in a voice so soft it was barely above a whisper
"Do not talk to me like that, I cannot stand it! You know her better than I do, I understand. But rubbing it on my face is not helping. What am I saying, you are probably enjoying this experience thoroughly! Acting magnanimously must feel incredibly pleasant, does it not, Alice? Are you not happy, now that I have told you how our relationship is? Can you honestly tell me that you do not love her anymore? That you do not feel a minimum ray of hope? Logical explanation to feelings, ha! I know they do not have one, aside from what chemistry and psychology have showed us and not even those disciplines have given any bigger light as how to control them. I am sick and tired of this pursuit! I am sick of longing for her! I am sick of all this stupidity and nonsense! I wish I could rip my heart out and turn things back the way they used to be, before this wicked feelings started changing my behavior… to the point I cannot see myself clearly! What am I even doing in the infirmary in the first place?! I have to stay away from my own dormitory, my beloved library and my friends because I got injured! Injured for doing something out of character like participating in these damn games, oh, all in the name of love! All in the name of Marisa Kirisame! Do you see how twisted this is?"- she ranted as the tears continued streaming down her face,
"That's not how it is! How many times do I have to tell you! I'm not here to make fun of you…and I didn't intend to sound condescending! What do you want me to say, huh? Do I love her? Yes, I love her, godsdamnit! I could never stop doing so! But I didn't plan this! Do you think I wanted to get you hurt? I wished to hurt you, yes, but that was long ago! And I already felt bad for that! As for hope, I don't need it. Even now…her acts don't mean anything until she says they do. If she really did love me back….she wouldn't have dated you! So stop supposing things that aren't true!"
"You can deny it all you want, Alice Margatroid. But I know when I am right. Whatever it is she feels for you has long crossed the line of mere friendship"
The Puppeteer's eyes widened, the hopefulness returning to her
"You never really gave up on her returning your feelings"- added Patchouli her voice in a cold monotone- "No matter how many lies you told me and the rest of the world"
"I didn't lie to you…!"
"Stop, Alice. I do not want to continue this pointless conversation. You said what you wanted and I listened for long enough. I cannot stand seeing you a minute more. Leave"
The Doll Maker opened her mouth to argue but looking at Patchouli's hurt expression she simply nodded and silently left the room. She rested her back on the door, listening while the Weekly Witch continued crying inside. She had never felt so guilty and confused at the same time. Why couldn't she believe her? Why, even when she tried to do what she thought was right, did she end up like the villain?
She walked away, shaking her head.
There was nothing else left for her to do. She had tried to apologize only to end up being pretty much insulted by the Unmoving Library. And as much as she was angry…she knew it wasn't completely unjustified.
Because even though she never actually lied to others…she had lied to herself, repeating time after time that she was over her feelings for Marisa.
Her steps were slow and mechanical as she made her way through the school campus.
So she was that head over heels for the brash Magician.
'How pathetic is that'- she chuckled scornfully at herself- 'being so in love with someone to the point you can't forget about it, to the point you can't erase that feeling even though you put all of your effort"
She had tried so hard to obliterate that love, doing what she thought was best for the sake of other only to fail miserably in those two things, unable to get rid of the feeling and incapable of improving the situation no matter how much she tried to help others get what they wanted.
At the end of the day, she couldn't hide her feelings and she couldn't help but to hurt others.
Such was human nature, she figured. To always end exactly where she didn't want to be, facing the things she had ran from and causing others pain, in her blind pursuit of something close to happiness.
Maybe happiness, true happiness, couldn't be achieved without a hint of selfishness. Maybe that was the reason why the more she tried to forget about her own wants the more she hurt Patchouli.
Or maybe life was simply too complicatedly random for a mere teenage girl like her to even comprehend.
But she was sure about two things: she loved Marisa and she couldn't stop herself from doing so.
Alice remembered her mother's little note and she realized that simply letting things happen had led her to face her true feelings.
She had let the seasons change and the excitement of the beginning of the semester and the tender feeling of generosity that filled her during the dying summer's evenings had slowly but surely guided her to an autumn full of reflections which had a hidden love burning as red as the leaves that kept falling around her as she strolled.
Red and warm…so warm…even inside the depths of her chest. A small but constant fire that fought to keep living even though it had been buried.
Yes, the seasons had changed
And much like she had done before, her new resolutions demanded that she had a talk.
Changing her route, she made her way to the Temple in search of Reimu.
The breeze ruffled her hair and gently made its way through her body, enveloping her already cold body in a nostalgic hug.
Fall had always made her slightly sentimental.
It was the preamble for nature's death.
Life was a cycle in the end and she knew that things needed to die to start anew.
She would let the season to pass, she would change with them. Let herself vary her own colors, to softly lay herself bare in front of her own eyes…to let herself die in order to be reborn.
The sight of the traditional looking building interrupted her musings as she quickly remembered what she was set on doing.
She found the miko lazily playing shogi with Suika and losing rather easily against the Little Pandemonium.
"Reimu!"- she greeted, her skirt almost floating around her legs as she took quick strides towards the brunette
"Oh Alice"- said the red-white surprised by her visit
"If it isn't, Margatroid!"- said Suika happily- "Haven't seen you in a while, blonde!"
"I had…things to think about"- replied the Rainbow Puppeteer
The oni moved one of her pieces before turning to fully stare Alice with her caramel eyes.
"Seems like that's the new trend around here"- she commented nodding in Reimu's direction
"Hey!"- complained the miko
Suika put up her hands as a way of saying she hadn't meant to be insulting
"I'm just saying, Reimu. Once you are defeated like that, the only elegant thing is to admit loss"
The Shrine Maiden of Paradise started bickering with her roommate while Alice served as witness to how Suika easily exasperated the relaxed girl.
Once they finished their back and forth the Doll Maker was invited inside and into Reimu's bedroom. Not being one to tolerate pleasantries or questions of simple formality the brunette asked her what was she doing in the Temple after Marisa had so blatantly exposed the magnitude of her feelings for her.
The Rainbow Puppeteer started telling her about the visit to Patchouli, something she had purposefully kept a secret from Parsee and Reimu as a way of ensuring they wouldn't interrupt said conversation.
"So you see, Reimu…I can't win, no matter what I do"- sighed Alice looking at her reflection on the tea
"Seems like it. If you want my opinion, Patchouli is being unjust…but she does have her reasons. I mean, her…sort of girlfriend openly preferred saving you instead of her, must suck"- commented the miko supporting her cheek on her hand
"Yeah. Must suck. But the worst thing is that even then…I was a bit happy. That Marisa really cares about me…"- said Alice in a low voice, smile tugging the corners of her lips
"She has always cared about you, for you"- stated the brunette- "But she's blind as a mole"
"I know…that's the other thing I wanted to tell you"- continued the Puppeteer- "You've been very patient with me through everything…but is time I stop abusing your good will…I solemnly promise you, I won't talk about Marisa with you anymore…I've put you in uncomfortable situations for long enough…the fight you had during the Games could've been avoided…if I had had the courage from the start…"
"Oh Alice!"- said Reimu smiling widely- "You like me, you really like me!"
"Well…we're friends, aren't we?"- replied the Doll Maker coyly- "Of course I like you. And I've been a terrible, mediocre friend to you…so I wanted to apologize. I know you want us to be together…but you don't have to take that upon you anymore. If it happens…it happens. Now I understand, what my Mother meant when she told me to let the seasons change…I can't force situations, I can't force myself to forget, I can't force Marisa to love Patchouli or to love me…if it happens it happens, and if it doesn't…then, there's nothing else to do…except facing my own wishes with all my strength and see where they lead me"
"You've matured, Alice"- said the Shrine Maiden of Paradise impressed- "Old you would've thrown a tantrum by now"
"I wouldn't say I've matured but rather I've become less self-centered"- said Alice smiling softly- "I wish I had realized it sooner though. Must've been hard to hear me whine and whine about Marisa with a straight face. I'm truly grateful, Reimu. You never complained, not even once. You always listened. You deserve a prize, something, for all you've done for me"
"Oh shut up, Margatroid, you'll make me cry"- teased Reimu, but her smile was full of affection- "You don't need to give me anything. I'm your friend. All I want is for you to be happy. So, be happy, Alice, that's the only reward I need"
Alice got up and walked towards Reimu and then she hugged her, tightly.
"Thank you"- she whispered
"It's nothing, Ali"- the Shrine Maiden whispered back- "That's what friends are for"- she added, patting her on the back
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Patchouli curled up, feeling the soft fabric of the sheets against her cold feet. A few days had passed and even though she was allowed to go back to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, she still had to stay in bed resting and continue taking the pills that Nurse Eirin had given her.
The clock struck 1pm signaling that the fourth period was over and that her visitor would soon arrive.
Ever since the accident, Marisa had started coming over to have lunch with her. And despite all the cheerfulness that the Magician exuded she couldn't help but to feel uneasy and barely answered when the blond tried to engage her in conversation.
Day after day the black-white would show up and her radiance would fill the Unmoving Library's bedroom, asphyxiating her, making her choke on the words she desperately needed her to say.
The girl curled up tighter, nibbling nervously on her lip.
She counted each passing minute, imagining Marisa's steps getting closer and closer to her door.
A coward. Despite all the things she had said to Alice, she was still unsure of what to do. She was scared of being too impatient and scared of waiting for too long. Indecision was tearing her apart.
Thinking about the girl made her teeth clench, an angry warmth spreading through her limbs. She wished she could strangle the Puppeteer with her own strings. Her eyes started getting watery and itchy and her nose scrunched up as her lips went down in a pout. Patchouli shook her head reminding herself that the Doll Maker wasn't worth her tears.
"I will not turn into a clown for Alice Margatroid. I will not let these feelings of mine to control me anymore…I need to…somehow…yes, today, without fault…when Marisa comes…"
As if on cue, she heard knocking on her door and knew instantly that it was her.
"Come in, Marisa. I was waiting for you"- she said loud enough for the black-white to hear
"Yo, Patchy!"- greeted the Ordinary Magician grinning- "How are you feeling today?"
The Weekly Witch watched as her guest seated in the chair next to her and took out two bentos. She watched her bright golden eyes glimmer in excitement as she talked about some events that happened during the morning. Nothing more than silly stunts by Yamabuki and Shameimaru's unbelievable gossips but Marisa seemed entertained by them nonetheless. The blonde gesticulated and laughed narrating one particular anecdote, possibly hoping to catch her attention but the Unmoving Library's mind had drifted from the subject long ago.
She wasn't paying any attention to what Marisa was saying, she could only watch her fascinated. She had tried so hard, given up so much just to have moments like this with her…to hear her voice, to be able to look at her as much as she wanted, to have her within her arms reach…
Her chest tightened.
"It's all an illusion…isn't it…?"
She knew.
Patchouli called the black-white's name successfully interrupting her mid-story.
The Ordinary Magician looked at her puzzled but didn't say anything.
The Unmoving Library lowered her gaze and intertwined her fingers with a pained expression on her face. To Marisa it seemed like she was praying…or like she was trying to crush something between her palms.
The violet haired girl sighed deeply and she raised her eyes to meet the black-white's.
"We need to talk"- said the Weekly Witch neatly folding her hands in her lap
"About what?"-she asked, her gut twisting uncomfortably
"I can't do this anymore, Marisa"- murmured Patchouli- "I just can't"
"Patchy…"
"Do you love me?"- she asked looking at her intently, her shoulders tense
"Ah…Patchouli…what's that all of the sudden…haha"- said the black-white playing with her skirt- "Are the pain medications that strong? Hahaha"
"Answer me, Marisa. Do you love me?"- she insisted
Marisa looked at her and her lips tightened. Truth was a lump in her throat.
They kept staring at each other until the Magician's voice cut through the silence like a knife
"No"- she said simply, her gaze dropping
Patchouli nodded, like it had been a test and she had just given the correct answer.
"But it's not like I don't like you! I really like you! And I have so much fun with you…but…"- the blond raised her head and started apologizing, trying to lessen up the mood
"But what?"- asked the Weekly Witch dejectedly
Marisa bit her lip and blushed, unsure of how to answer. It wasn't easy being honest when she was aware that her words could hurt someone she cared for. She was usually regarded as careless by others but that didn't mean she would sadden anyone on purpose.
She had known for a long time…that she couldn't return the girl's feelings for her. No matter how much she tried…
"It's…well…something's missing, you know? It's not like dating you is disagreeable or anything but…when I think about love…it's different…I always thought it'd be something so warm and powerful, something that would pull me towards that person whether I'd wanted it or not, something that would make me question myself and…oh…it doesn't really matter…"
"No, please go ahead"- murmured the Unmoving Library, her full attention on Marisa's words
"Oh…so…love to me…it has to feel like the greatest thing ever. Bigger than life, I guess. A bond between two people that no matter what happens…it will be there. Even if you don't say it with words…it's there…"- finished the black-white awkwardly
They stayed in silence for a few minutes, the Ordinary Magician twisting her fingers. She never really talked about her feelings in that way…it made her nervous.
But she did think about love.
And after a while, she understood that what she felt for the Unmoving Library was nowhere near that.
Patchouli kept looking at her, her heart clenching painfully.
"You are one hopeless romantic"- she said, trying to keep her composure, trying to hold back the tears
"Why are you asking me now, though? you said it didn't matter to you"- asked Marisa, confused- "I get that we're…is it breaking up? But…I don't understand… why would you tell me it wasn't important?"
"I lied"- smiled the Weekly Witch- "It did not matter as much before because I still had hopes that with time…you would come to realize we are a good match. But I was wrong. I guess that…it is there or it is not and in my case, it is not"
"Patchy…"
"I do love you, Marisa"- continued the girl, her smile straining- "And I thought that my love could pull you towards me…but an unreciprocated feeling cannot do much more than guilt you into a relationship"- Patchouli chuckled bitterly- "That was the reason you agreed on dating me, was it not? You were caught by surprise with a love confession…and yes, you liked me…but what got you into this was nothing but guilt…"
"That's not true!"- objected Marisa heatedly- "Don't look down on yourself like that! You didn't guilt me into anything…I agreed because…"- Marisa hesitated
Patchouli gave her a strained laugh and waved her hand dismissively.
"Do not worry about hurting me…it is unlikely that I will suffer more past this point. I would rather be hurt by the single, clean cut of a sword than being constantly stabbed by a dagger. A clean wound, heals. If you are not honest with me now, I will end up learning your true feelings by bits…and each bit will be more painful… I will not get the chance to heal…so… hurt me now, Marisa. I want to get this over with. I already know that you do not love me and with that…all I can hope for is for my heart to slowly give up on longing for you"
"Are you…sorry that you fell in love with me?"- asked the Ordinary Magician softly
"Yes"- said the Weekly Witch curtly- "Yes, I am very sorry that I did. I thought love was about being happy and comfortable with another person. But all I ever got from being with you was fear and anxiety…and self-loathing, for being incapable of making you love me."
The black-white chuckled awkwardly, clearly hurt, and Patchouli felt the tiniest satisfaction.
Somewhere inside her she wanted to hurt Marisa.
Hurt her, hurt her, just like she had made her hurt over the last months.
Oblivious, careless, taking her for granted. And refusing to see what was so clear for everyone else.
She was an idiot.
A lovable idiot.
There was no point in acting vindictive. She knew that Marisa hadn't meant to hurt her in any way…it was simply how she was. Flandre was right, she always did what she felt like doing, without stopping to think about the consequences.
Be careful what you wish for.
That had been the message hidden in the Devil's Little Sister warning.
She wished she had listened to the Scarlet's words. Now it was too late and she had no-one else to blame for her pain but her own stubbornness, thinking that she could catch the twinkling star…
But it was too far to reach it…
"Patchouli"- Marisa's voice interrupted her thoughts
"Yes?"
"What can I do for you to forgive me…?"
"I want you to tell me why you agreed, why you continued even when you knew…that you couldn't love me"
Marisa inhaled before sighing heavily and looked at the Weekly Witch with a remorseful expression.
"I…"- she started, twiddling her fingers nervously- "I…I wanted to fall in love…to know what love is…to see if..."
Marisa's jaw tightened and her brow furrowed as she struggled to find the right words, if there were any.
"You caught me by surprise…and honestly…you didn't guilt me into anything…I was curious…and when you kissed me…it felt good…and I wondered…what would happen if I gave this a chance? What could go wrong?"- she chuckled bitterly- "You said I'm a hopeless romantic…but I guess in the end I'm nothing but a hopelessly selfish fool…I thought I was giving you what you wanted just because I agreed to date you…but…relationships take more effort than that, huh?"
Patchouli shook her head lightly as she took the black-white's hands in hers, surprising the latter
"You are not as selfish as you think you are. Not more than I am, at least. Yes, relationships mean effort…but they are not supposed to feel as strained as ours did. We gave little thought to what the other wanted. Now tell me, why did you keep dating me?"
The Ordinary Magician blushed and looked away, gently taking her hands back
"I really wanted to fall in love with you…I'd tell myself 'maybe if I give it more time'…and then…once I realized I couldn't…I don't know…we had fun together…why ruin that?"
The Unmoving Library nodded again
"Do you have…someone you feel like you might…fall in love with…?"
Marisa seemed taken aback by that question and blushed crimson red. She opened her mouth but no sound came out of it. Her shoulders slumped as her gaze lowered, her fingers playing with the hem of the skirt, like she always did when she was nervous. It seemed like she was too flustered to even talk about it
"I see"- stated Patchouli
"I-i-it's not like that! It's just that…I-I've been thinking that…I mean…sometimes I've felt like…I dunno…there's just something…about A…-about that person! It's confusing me"
The Weekly Witch's eyes watered ever so lightly as she linked her fingers tightly. It didn't go unnoticed for her that Marisa almost said her name and even though she had already made her decision, it didn't mean it hurt any less to know.
"So this is how it is, is it not? Is fine I guess…if things are to end this way. I fought and I lost and there is nothing else to say about it. I tried…so now, Marisa, I will set you free"
Patchouli exhaled, a sigh barely escaping her lips and she smiled knowingly.
"I have a feeling that that person might be confused as well. You see, sometimes people escape from what they want because they are afraid of the consequences. And nobody likes being hurt"- she shot a look at the blond- " I have learnt that to truly fall in love you need to be honest with yourself first…and accept your own vulnerability. Maybe that person is still struggling with her fear of losing something…or someone"
The black-white raised her head, her mouth agape with surprise. With a determined expression she straightened up, her back resting fully on the chair, her fingers finally letting go of the skirt, instead they tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. For once during their conversation she wasn't either silly or nervous but serious, solemn even.
"We are all afraid. I'm afraid too. I don't know what I truly feel or what I want from her. There are times when I'm sure I'm on the verge of discovering something and then…that sensation disappears. It's truly maddening. Everything points to her...but I still don't know. When I look at her my stomach feels weird and if we ever touch, it's like…like coming home. She's so precious, so dear to me, Patchouli, but what in the world does that translate to? All I want is to be together with her, like we have always been. And yet…there is something pulling me closer. But she pushes me back and I really really don't know, maybe it's all in my head in the end. I'm imagining things, aren't I?"- she chuckled, stretching- "I'm sorry for rambling like this…is pretty selfish"
The Unmoving Library's lip quivered and she breathed in deeply before moving her legs out of the bed to stand in front of Marisa, towering over her. There was a certain strength emanating from her, determination exuding from her violet eyes. Her arms crossed over her chest as she lowered her gaze towards the blond.
"Like I told you before, you are not as selfish as you think you are. But I must say, Kirisame Marisa, you are so dense is almost a sin. You trample on the feelings of others without noticing. You trample on your own feelings, blindly stomping on them. You are looking for answers in all the wrong places, when all you need to do is truly see inside you. Make up your mind soon, because...she…might give up on you after all, like I did"
Patchouli's voice came clear and steady, in a passionate way that contrasted heavily with her usual manner of speaking, which was softer and devoid of emotion.
Marisa's muscles tensed and she leaned away from the other girl but she never looked away from the Weekly Witch, facing her and her accusations.
She listened, processing each and every word. They felt like the prick of a needle. Like bitter medicine. Like the ugly truth.
Sometimes it was easier to run away from things, tricking herself into obliviousness. Yes, it was certainly easier to avoid looking, to stop all the questions before they even started. It had become almost natural to her. But she couldn't be completely blind. Even though she couldn't notice the colors anymore, she could still see light. So despite the fact that she didn't know she still had the nagging feeling of being close to something.
And that feeling kept her going forward in curiosity and backwards in fright, never going past a certain point.
Was that the reason she was always staggering in her relationship with Alice? The Rainbow Puppeteer wouldn't give up on her, would she?
Her brow furrowed as she crossed her arms, a smile that barely concealed the pain she was suddenly feeling painted on her face. She felt like hiding from Patchouli's judging stare and she instinctively reached out for her side braid to fiddle with, stopping halfway opting for clenching her fists above her lap, the tension of her whole body increasing.
Then shoulders slumped as she sighed.
She was so, so stupid.
Reimu was right. She was stupid.
She was stupid enough to go around in circles, dizzying herself, confusing herself just to lash out at her best friend because she couldn't handle the things that were desperately making their way to the surface of her mind.
What was she supposed to do?!
Patchouli clucked her tongue in annoyance.
"I have admired you for a long time for your bravery and to see you like this is both disappointing and surprising. That girl must mean a lot to you…to get the great Marisa to make such a face. Even though our paths are going separate ways now, I still want you to choose wisely. So this will be my final words to you: do not lie to yourself anymore"
Marisa gave her a sharp nod.
"I hope I won't disappoint you more, Patche"- said the black-white offering her hand
"I hope so too…Marisa"
And with that answer, Patchouli took her hand once again and shook it.
With nothing else left to say, the Ordinary Magician got up from the chair and walked to the door without looking back at her, not even once.
The same 'click' and steps that used to announce her presence were signaling the end of those days.
She felt like laughing and crying and cursing and screaming.
The final symptoms of a deadly sickness.
No tears were shed this time, though.
The fever that the twinkling star had started inside her was quietly going down.
And sinking that loving feeling with it.
Exhaustion took over her body and she went back to her bed, stretching under the blankets before dozing off.
As her eyelids fluttered close she couldn't help but to notice the added weight of a long locked reality.
Those words, those simple sounds were a goodbye.
They were the end.
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It was hard to admit but it was true. The almighty Kirisame Marisa was feeling lonely.
The last few days she had stayed in her room skipping classes faking a cold. And even though Alice had taken the time to scold her, those had been the only words coming from the Puppeteer.
Other girls had come asking about her and delivering her homework but she didn't feel like talking to any of them, despite the fact that most would've been happy to hear her.
It wasn't like she didn't appreciate Nitori or Flandre but…
They simply weren't Reimu.
And the miko hadn't stopped even once to check on her. Usually if she was sick the brunette would come and keep her company even cook her some soup.
But now…she didn't have her. And she had herself to blame for that.
If she were to visit her…would Reimu let her in? Would she listen?
Apologizing wasn't her forte but she had no choice. Her pride wasn't as important as gaining her friend back.
Making sure she wouldn't be caught by some passerby teacher she made her way to the Temple, avoiding the main road.
Hopefully the miko would be there too and she'd agree to talk to her.
She knocked on the door and came face to face with Reimu.
The red-white's brown eyes widened in surprise for a few seconds before narrowing in an unfriendly manner.
"Whaddaya want"- she asked rudely
"Uh…uh…hello…?"
The Shrine Maiden of Paradise didn't even spare her another glance as she closed the door startling Marisa.
She waited a few seconds hoping it would all be a joke before she started pounding on her door angrily
"What the hell, Reimu?! I came here to apologize so open that freaking door before I Master Spark it!"- she yelled
She kept going on desperately, pleading in her mind for the miko to open, her hope dying second after second.
Was the damage unrepairable after all?
Her yelling had turned into a mere whisper and she was about to give up completely and turn around when the door was slammed open
"FINE!"- spat Reimu signaling her to enter
Marisa didn't know how to react she was both flabbergasted and happy and nervous and scared but not wanting to waste her opportunity she quickly entered the dorm and the Shrine Maiden closed the door.
"Well? Spit it, Kirisame, I don't have all day"- she said sitting across from the Magician, her arms crossed
"I…"- she started doubtfully
"You what"
The black-white gulped. She had been so sure of what she wanted to say but now that she was in front of Reimu's piercing eyes she couldn't remember any of the things she had planned to tell her.
"I…"- she struggled with the words like they were made out of lead- "I…j-just wanted to…I…"
The miko sighed in defeat and then a faint smile painted itself on her lips.
"I will make things easier for you, ok? So repeat after me: I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry"- repeated Marisa bowing her head ever so lightly
"I'm sorry I'm a stupid asshole who is too stubborn and doesn't know when to shut up and give up"
"Reimu!"
The brunette gave her a stern look and Marisa roller he eyes before repeating the girl's words
"Fine. I'm sorry I'm a stupid asshole who is too stubborn and doesn't know when to shut up and give up"- she said not amused at all
"And…"- said Reimu her eyes twinkling mischievously
"And…what?"- asked Marisa
"The rest's up to you, idiot"- answered the miko a wide smile in place
The Magician blushed, realizing what was expected from her.
"And…you're my best friend. I really don't know what else to say! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I've missed you so much lately…I hadn't noticed before but…I do need you in my life, I mean…you know me more than I even know myself…and you were right, I'm stupid and selfish and stubborn and without you there I'm…lonely"
Reimu got up from the sofa and crouched in front of Marisa
"See? It wasn't so hard now, was it?"- she commented good naturedly before patting her head
Marisa, in a very uncharacteristic move, hugged Reimu
"I'm so sorry for everything I said! I know you have your reasons, I won't pry anymore, I swear"
"Don't get all mushy on me, Kirisame or I'm going to vomit"- she laughed distancing herself from the black-white
They spent the rest of the day catching up and chit-chatting about nothing and everything.
Marisa was incredibly relieved and glad that she had the red-white as a friend. A true one.
Apologizing wasn't her forte and Reimu understood that so she didn't make things any harder for her. All she needed was for Marisa to try, so she tried, in her own clumsy way.
And that was enough.
Even though she was still ashamed about the way she had behaved before, the miko was having none of it forcing her back into their old ways.
Reimu was like the sister she never had. And much like sisters, they had fought, said awful things to each other just to make up in the end.
Once she got back to the Forest of Magic she plopped herself on the bed, completely at ease for the first time in a while.
She had her door opened so she was able to catch a glimpse of Alice's knowing smile before the Puppeteer disappeared into her own room.
Everything was right in the world.
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After their break up, Patchouli had stopped talking to her, and while she could understand that…she couldn't understand why Alice had distanced herself too…again.
Or at least, she felt that way.
Now that her fight with Reimu was behind them she was more determined than ever to finally discover what was going on between Alice and herself but it seemed like she could never get ahold of the Doll Maker.
Whenever she tried to catch the Puppeteer alone, she was already on her way to Chireiden as if she couldn't stand being in the Forest anymore. And when she was in her room, she didn't let her in like she used to, claiming that she needed some space to think.
And while she could respect her privacy, at the same time…what did Alice need to think about that much?
Had she truly screwed it with her? Because she knew she had screwed up with Patchouli. She was fully aware of that. Remilia had made it her personal duty to remind her that she was the worst.
She could live with that, because at least things were clear between the Weekly Witch and her…and hopefully someday they'd be as natural and close as they had been.
But Alice? She had no clue what was going through the Doll Maker's mind.
So she did what she thought was best: going to the Temple to ask Reimu for advice.
Hence her sitting in front of her, pretending to be interested in the teacup just to sprawl herself over the table while groaning in complaint.
"It's like…ugh, it's like last year all over again!"- she bemoaned, raising her head to stare at her best friend with a pitiful look
"Well, what did I tell you last year when you fought?"- asked Reimu reaching for some rollcake
"To let her be"- puffed the black-white
"Then that's all I have to say, Mari. You know how Alice is…she's a complex girl"- commented the miko
'Complex doesn't start covering it though' she thought unamused
"Yes, but…why again? I mean…did I do something wrong? Did she tell you something?"- pried the Ordinary Magician
Reimu was taken aback by the blonde's insistence. She was curious but she had never been that direct when they talked about the Puppeteer. She was happy though, if it continued like that maybe the oblivious blonde would finally notice and she wouldn't have to keep what she knew a secret. More than that, she was glad that Marisa's awkwardness with her had already melted away seeing that she was as open and trusting as she had been before the Gensokyo Games.
"Nope, she hasn't said a thing to me. When she comes we talk about other things aside from you, you know"- said Reimu with a knowing smile
"She's avoiding me…again. She's always out…'I'm going to Chireiden' she says…what's there in Former Hell, huh? Help me out, Reimu!"
"Why don't you ask Parsee then? If she's going to the basement, she must be visiting her"- suggested Reimu slyly
"But…we're not close, you know…it's not like I can actually ask her something that private"- frowned Marisa- "there's something about her that I don't completely trust…and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual"
"Then let it be. You'll know when you do"- said the Shrine Maiden patting her back
Marisa sighed and accepted that once again, nobody seemed interested in giving her an explanation. She was sure that both Reimu and Parsee knew something but they were hiding it from her…
She walked back to the Forest, wondering about it.
Something was definitely off.
When did Alice and Parsee become such good friends anyway?
They never hang out much before…it all started around the time of the Summer Night Ball.
Yes, that was when they started getting closer.
Marisa's heart started clenching in an unfamiliar way. It was a subtle pain…a mixture of sadness and anger.
"If it stays like this…she's already replacing Reimu, isn't she? Would she…would she replace me too? Could…could Patchouli be right? Is she giving up on me for real this time? Stupid Parsee…what's with her anyway? She can't waltz in and suddenly become Alice's best friend! I am the one who cares the most about her! That bridge princess doesn't know her like I do…oh…is anything irreplaceable for her…? Alice has never been the sociable type…she just does as she pleases, doesn't she? Am I important to her? She said I was…but what if I'm not…?"
Her expression soured. She didn't like doubting herself.
Things were changing at an incredible speed and she remembered the Puppeteer's words: that she was afraid of losses, afraid of change. Now it was her turn to be afraid. Yes, Alice had called her her best friend, but what did it mean if she never told her anything?
She had been so confident then, that last day of school, when she assured the Doll Maker she couldn't lose her. But…what if it was her, Marisa, who was losing Alice? What could she do then?
She crossed her arms as she walked, sulking.
She happened to pass Aya who was excitedly distributing the new edition of Bunbunmaru. Once she saw her, the tengu rushed to her talking about the newspaper but getting no reaction from her.
Seeing that Marisa was obviously in a bad mood, she decided to cheer her up…in Aya fashion. She started talking about the so called 'news' and 'exclusives' she had managed to get for the paper, even though it was clear to the Magician that most of them were rumors and that the ones that happened to be true, were distorted and exaggerated by the tengu to the point they were almost a lie.
Aya talked and talked about Tewi's pranks to Reisen, about Yukari's alleged sake cabinet in the teacher's lounge and all sorts of useless information. Marisa's patience was running thin and she was about to tell the Wind God Girl to shut up because her chatter was giving her a headache when a story caught her attention.
According to her, a source had claimed that love was blooming under the surface, saying that a couple, which hadn't been identified yet, was slowly but surely on their way to becoming official and making their 'debut'. While the source had refused to give any names, it was clear that at least one girl was not originally from Chireiden but from another dorm and had started sneaking into Former Hell to avoid questioning gazes. Aya boasted about how she had managed to follow the girl, discovering that it was no other than the Rainbow Puppeteer!
Hearing Alice's nickname sent her heart thumping again and her mood got worse.
The reporter didn't seem to notice because she continued narrating her little face-off with the Doll Maker which ended in her promising the blond that she wouldn't mention that she was going to Chireiden, but in her expert opinion, it was obvious that Margatroid was crushing on someone from there.
She looked at Marisa and gulped, the frown on the Magician's face worrying her.
Being Aya, she completely misunderstood the situation, thinking that Marisa was mad that her former suitor had moved on, and so she quickly retreated barely saying goodbye. After her little incident with Yuugi at the Ball she could finally identify what was a cue to leave. The angry vibes coming from the black-white? Yes, that was her cue.
It took a moment for the Magician to realize that the tengu had left but she didn't care, all she could think of was what was Alice doing in Former Hell.
Could Aya be right for once? Was Alice…in love?
That would certainly explain why she was going down so frequently. If she were in love, Marisa thought, of course she'd try to see that person as much as she could.
It made sense. The Puppeteer was reserved when it came to her personal affairs and was even shyer when the subject of relationships came up. Of course she'd be sneaking around to be with her lover.
Lover…
Marisa let the word roll on her tongue.
The 'R' lingered inside her mouth as if it were a secret.
Whoever that person was, she was one lucky girl.
It was such a foreign idea though…to think that Alice could fall in love with someone…and that she wouldn't tell her a thing.
Lover…
It echoed inside her head.
In the end…what did she mean to Alice?
She kept walking until she reached her dorm and a big sigh escaped her lips. The place was quiet for once and she could hear the wood creak with each of her steps. She reached the stairs and dragged herself up to her room. Marisa stared at the Puppeteer's door and sighed again. Of course, she wasn't there.
Once inside her bedroom, she left her bag in the bed and walked towards the window.
The skies were turning grey, with clouds quickly gathering. It was only a matter of seconds before the first raindrops fell, the drizzle leaving its mark on the window. The sound of water falling was soothing and it wasn't until the first thunder that Marisa realized that it was raining heavily. She stretched, deciding she wanted to take a nap when she heard quick footsteps coming upstairs.
In a rush she opened her door at the same time the person reached the second floor.
Shaking a few raindrops from her hair, there was no one else but Alice Margatroid.
She looked at Marisa surprised by her presence and the way her eyes had widened like she had seen a ghost.
"It's you"- she said unbelievingly
"Who else would it be? My room is across yours"
"Yeah but…"
"But what?"- asked the Doll Maker puzzled
"You've been going a lot to Chireiden lately…I barely see you in the Forest"-muttered Marisa awkwardly
"Oh"- replied Alice blushing- "Well, now I'm here"
"For how long, Alice? How long are you going to stay around?"- asked Marisa averting her gaze- "I mean…are you…just…uh…"
"I have a feeling we're not talking about my being in the dorm anymore"- said Alice softly and she took a few steps closer to the black-white- "What is it, Marisa?"
The Puppeteer pushed her inside the room and urged her again.
The Magician raised her eyes to meet Alice's timidly. The Puppeteer looked at her in concern. It was clear that something was worrying her friend. She was usually so straightforward with everything that seeing her struggling to say what she was thinking was an obvious sign that whatever it was, it really troubled her.
"I…I…well…are…are you…I mean…do you still like me? We…we're still friends, right?"- started Marisa, tripping over her words- "You…I, no,…I guess it's not my business anyway but…oh…if you…hypothetically talking…I'm not saying I know anything because I don't but in case you ummm…if you were in love with someone…you wouldn't…well…it's not like it would be wrong, no it would be! You told me you wouldn't….so…would you? I don't want to cause any trouble but honestly you should tell me already so I know…but I'm not saying I know anything! Hahahahaha how could I know…. "
Alice stayed silent while the girl continued babbling and stuttering. Marisa blushed a deep crimson and moved her hands animatedly, in a desperate attempt to finally get to the point and looking nervously at the Puppeteer's serious expression.
The Doll Maker couldn't believe it. Even though the Magician was less than explicit with her concerns, she had known Marisa for long enough to understand her rants….so that was worrying her.
"I already told you, there's no way I could forget about you"- interrupted Alice
"No?"- asked the black-white stopping- "Not even if you were like…in love?"
Alice mouth fall agape and then she laughed awkwardly. There she was, in front of Marisa and she was asking that if falling in love would ever change their relationship. Girls always joked about how dense the Magician could be when it came to relationships but this…it was baffling. She wondered if she was actually that blind or it was simply a way of hiding the things she knew.
The Puppeteer stopped laughing at the quizzical look that her friend was giving her.
"No. Not even then. Being in love hasn't changed anything, has it?"- she asked, sighing afterwards
"So it's true then"- replied Marisa with an accusing tone and a slight frown- "You are in love with someone"
"That's what this is about then? How do you even know, anyway?"- asked Alice, her heart racing inside her
"Oh…well…I had this sort of chat with Aya and she claimed you were going to see ummm…your alleged girlfriend so…"
The Doll Maker laughed again.
She should've known she couldn't say anything to the nosy reporter. Trust a girl like Aya to turn some innocent visits to Parsee into a whole secret affair. What amazed her the most was that Marisa, knowing how the tengu was, had believed it. And it had made her anxious enough to bring up the topic. It was all too hilarious.
She hugged Marisa.
"Stop laughing Alice! If it's true you're in love with someone…then who is it?"- she could hear her voice vibrating near her neck
The Puppeteer broke the hug and then stood close to the black-white.
Something was tingling inside her, itching in the tips of her fingers. Something she had to do.
It seemed like the stars had aligned to give her this moment.
Alice closed her eyes, memories flooding to her mind.
The day she met Marisa. How her boundless energy had made her feel.
When she moved to Gensokyo only to meet her again.
Their playful banters. How they used to run around the forest, pretending they were witches.
Their afternoon teas and the conversations they had. The secrets they shared. Marisa's ever changing expressions, the warmth of her honeyed eyes.
And her smile.
The smile that could take her breath away. A true smile, that made her believe.
She had waited for too long to act on those feelings and she couldn't wait any longer.
She opened her eyes and connected them with Marisa's, gold fusing with azure.
The black-white looked at her, searching for the answer.
"The eyes that strike your heart" she thought, vaguely remembering Reimu's words.
Alice's eyes.
When she looked at her like that, the world around her disappeared into a sea of pure blue.
They were deep and expressive, always telling the things that the Puppeteer's mouth refused to. So many emotions mixed in them, they shimmered like the ocean's ripples under the sun. It was hard to understand the message they were trying to convey…but it was important…the most important thing…
"Alice…"- she whispered
Ah…the way Marisa's voice sounded saying her name…
…It's now or never…
She grabbed the Magician's collar and pulled her towards her, crashing their lips together.
Marisa's eyes opened wide in surprise and slowly started closing them again.
"Alice's lips are soft" was the first conscious thought she had.
Really soft lips. They seemed to fit with hers.
They moved against her own lips in a gentle caress.
It was slow, careful. Hesitant.
The fingers that cupped her cheeks were cold and slightly trembling.
It was so simple and yet so intense…
And agonizingly sweet…
She felt like she was melting, falling, disappearing into that kiss.
The only thing she could think of, the only thing she could feel was Alice.
Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice…
Nothing else mattered.
Before she could register it, Alice had stopped kissing her and her hands had left her cheeks.
She looked at her.
Her eyes were glimmering like they had never before.
She was beautiful.
Alice opened her mouth and her voice came out a bit raspy, merely above a whisper.
"It's you…It's always been you"
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So, it's finished…I guess?
This was the end of Malice, I'm sorry to say…
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NEVER! How could I! I've plotted too many things to just end it like this.
This chapter was hard to write and I'm not sure whether I love it or completely hate it so…
First, I want apologize for how long this has taken me to write. A lot (and I mean A LOT) has happened during the last months and things turned way too complicated for me to focus on my writing as I would've liked. I guess life's like that, huh? I hope the result is not too disappointing. I wrote and rewrote several of the scenes so a lot of grammatical errors could have passed my filter, I apologize for that too.
Second, Alice and Marisa have matured a bit, haven't they? My little precious witches *hearts* And Reimu, she's the best ever 3 hope you all have good friends like her! True friends are treasures, aren't they? So keep them close
Third, I really like autumn (and it was autumn when I started writing this, and now is summer) so writing with that picture in mind was lots of fun but also kind of nostalgic. I guess that can be felt during the whole chapter. Lots of tears and lots of drama! I'm sorry I made almost everyone cry.
Fourth…as a gift to you my readers, the first four that send a review will receive a little special something related to Malice! Don't you just love surprises? Hahahaha
Hope you liked this chapter and you don't hate me!
Lots and lots of love,
Aminte
