"Ghost"
'Chapter 11'
By: Kareian & Emo Fox
Cloud sleep was dreamless and peaceful throughout the night. It was morning before he knew it, and he could smell the aroma of breakfast cooking and could hear the sounds of movement throughout the home below him.
Tifa was an early riser, and had probably started making a big breakfast because Denzel was staying with them once more. Cloud vaguely wondered how she would keep all of them fed. He remembered Zack being a bottomless pit of an eater back at ShinRa, but he wasn't sure if Zack could eat like he had once before, with being in a coma and his stomach shrinking. Denzel, Cloud knew, was constantly growing which meant he was constantly eating. The blonde tended to snack throughout the day, which resulted in him eating relatively small meals, he was positive that he was the only finicky eater in the household, even Tifa tended to eat more than in one sitting.
"Mm.." Groaning softly Cloud rolled on his good side, letting his weight stay there as he hugged into a pillow. He was warm, comfortably, relaxed even. He couldn't really remember the last time he had woken up feeling so safe and content. He slowly opened his eyes, the blue-green orbs hazy with sleep as he glanced at the clock on the night table which read eight in the morning, '.. too damn early..'
As he closed his eyes, to try and settled back into sleep, his ears caught the sound of rain lightly beating on his window.
'Rain?'
This was a first rain they had had in a while, it had been nice, sunny cloudless skies for almost three weeks now and the dreary rain really wasn't welcomed. Cloud tilted his head up to the pane watching the thick globs of moisture slither down the glass, not realizing his own eyes were slowly closing.
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Zack easily sipped his morning coffee, he had been woken up by the smells and promise of food. He sat at the kitchen table, smiling almost stupidly down at the mocha colored liquid. His little life line in the morning…
He took another sip of the drink and let out a satisfying, "Ahhh.." before he leaned back and relaxed in the wooden chair.
Tifa was busy at the stove, making a feast it seemed like. When Zack had commented about the amount of food the woman was making she had easily turned around and told him it was his fault. She had said it in a joking manner, but it made Zack think, he didn't think he ate that much, at least, not anymore
Feeling eyes on him and looked over to Denzel, who was sitting next to him. He raised a rather suspicious eyebrow to the child ..
'What was he looking at?'
"What's up kid?" The dark haired man asked in a good natured tone.
Denzel looked to Zack from over his glass of orange juice. He shrugged, his eyes shifting around the room before he brought his eyes back the bright blues that were watching him curiously.
"Why did you take a shower so late?" The child asked, tilting his head slightly, giving him an almost innocent look.
Zack blinked, and almost chocked on his coffee, "What?" he looked over to Tifa hoping for some help, but the woman didn't seem to have heard, or was ignoring them.
"..I saw you leave my dad's room and went to take a shower." Denzel admitted. He knew he had just given away he had been awake that late -- and maybe been eavesdropping a little but he hadn't heard anything.
The boy had actually been waiting for Zack to leave so he could sneak in bed with Cloud.. but after Zack went to shower Denzel had given up and had ended up wandering back to his own room to fall asleep.
"I.. well." Zack stuttered scratching the back of his head, "Ya see, um." He tried to keep the blush out of his cheeks as he silently prayed to every God he knew, hoping the boy hadn't over heard any of the conversation between himself and the blonde, "Well…Cloud was being a bit….mean last night." he started trying to twist the truth in a way.
Cloud had been mean, in a twisted way, trying to tempt Zack to sleeping with him, and the blonde had damn well almost succeeded too.
"Kinda made me mad so I took a shower to cool off." he shrugged, he hoped that Tifa wouldn't catch on to his rather elusive meaning. He laughed nervously, before a thought of his own stuck him. Maybe he could turn this around and focus the attention back on Denzel, "What were ya doing up so late anyways?"
"I was just going to go sleep in bed with my dad." The boy answered, he spoke as if the action was a normal thing, when in reality it really wasn't. Occasionally Cloud would let him stay in bed, if Denzel thought up a good enough excuse, but most times he was sent back to his room after they talked for a few minutes. It really was a hit or miss sort of deal.
"He made you mad huh?" the boy asked after a short pause, "What did he do?"
Denzel was up and alert now, his back straight and his bright eyes locked on Zack. "Does he ruffle your hair, too?... I hate when he does that to me."
Zack made a small face and tried not to smile, "Something like that." he looked down into his coffee, he couldn't hide the blush anymore.
God, they'd almost gotten caught, and to think that he had half a mind to go back into Cloud's room that night and give the blonde what he wanted.
They got damn lucky.
Putting his coffee down he smirked and reached across the table to ruffle Denzel's hair, "And he ruffles yer hair because it's fun! Reminds me of Spikey's, I used to do that to him all the time. Maybe that's where he gets it from."
Denzel frowned and swatted Zack's larger hand away, a childish pout on his lips. "I hate it." He grumbled, "Maybe you started it then..maybe my dad doesn't like it either."
As Tifa set the plate of food in front of Denzel the boy completely forgot about the light conversation he and Zack had been having, too caught up in the wonderful smell of food to continue. Whatever they had been going on about ceased and he lifted his fork and stabbed into the food.
Zack gazed down at his own breakfast and smiled sadly…missed his mom's cooking. But he was grateful for the distraction. Finishing off his coffee he reached out for the spare plate, "I'll take this up to Cloud."
"You sure?" Tifa asked as she sat down her wine eyes following Zack.
"Yea, I'm sure." The man smiled, before he picked up his own plate. Balancing both, rather full plates, on his arm he reached over once more to ruffle Denzel's hair.
"He used to like it." He smirked, picking up where he and the boy had left off, "He just was in a state of denial."
He walked out of the kitchen and towards the stairs before Denzel could retaliate. He easily maneuvered towards the stairs and up to Cloud's room. Easily nudging the door open, he smiled at the lump that was half curled around one of the pillows, still relaxed, still sleeping.
"Wakey, wakey, Spikey." Zack teased quietly as he crept over to the bed and knelt down in front of Cloud, gently waving the plate under his nose, "I bring food.." his voice held a quiet sing-song tone as he gazed gently at the blonde.
Cloud had drifted back off to sleep, the sound of rain almost like a lullaby that had soothed him back into a dreamless slumber only to be roused by the soft footsteps across the carpet and the heavy aroma of food. Then came the strong, smooth voice he was getting to know all too well again..
"Mm..?" Cloud mumbled, squinting open his bright eyes as he drank in the dim world around him, his gaze coming to rest on Zack's smiling face, "..go away."
"Nope!" Zack smiled and sat on his chair next to the bed, this time though, he stretched his legs out in front of him, and balanced his own food in his lap.
"C'mon chocobo, you've slept long enough. Time to eat." He gently wiggled the food under Cloud's nose again, "You know you're hungry." He continued to poke and prod trying to get a reaction out of the blonde.
Cloud shifted on the bed, turning more into the pillow he had been holding while he drifted off, a none-too-happy expression on his face.
Zack easily set the plate down on the bed, and Cloud slowly pushed himself into a sitting position though awkward because of the leg he had to keep outstretched at all times.. the casting around the limb was getting annoying.
He was still a little irked about last night -- more frustrated than anything and sadly he hadn't been able to cool himself off in a shower like Zack, Cloud didn't know if he could make it to the bathroom again.
..that one time had been a little too painful for him to try again.
Cloud picked up a fork and brought a batch of egg to his lips eating with slow deliberate chews, his blue-green eyes more focused on the window than Zack himself.
Zack had a feeling this would happen.
Cloud, even though he was fully grown man, still had a tenderly bruised ego it seemed.
He smirked as he ate his own food, his mind scheming.
He'd get the blonde back.
Oh yes, Zackary Fair would have his way with Cloud Strife when the man least expected it. Taking a sip of the water he cast his lustful eyes down, so the blonde wouldn't catch it.
It would be a fun night, when he could finally get a healthy Cloud alone.
Cloud had made his way through his food slowly but surely. He seemed to have been hungrier than he originally thought. With more of an effort than he wanted to admit, he reached over and put the empty plate on the night table, trying to hide the spasm of pain from the movement. He leaned his side against the pillows, turning his mako infused eyes on the man who seemed to be quietly smiling to himself.
'..what's so funny? '
Cloud frowned a little, his brow furrowing slightly, "..what?"
Zack smirked as he glanced up to catch Cloud's untrusting, wary eyes, "You, last night." He admitted as he set his own plate down, he stacked the dishes together before he laced his fingers together and stretched his arms above his head.
"When did you get so feisty? Hm?" He raised a small eyebrow, the knowing smirk still on his lips, "I would have been put in jail back in the day if you had ever done that back at the apartment."
Cloud shrugged slightly, it just came natural, he just wanted Zack and he finally knew how to get what he wanted. He hadn't known how to do that when he was young, he had just let himself be dominated by Zack.. he had had an idea of where to touch him, how to make the other man squirm but he had never had the courage to really try it before.
But Cloud wasn't afraid of touching Zack now.
He was more afraid of losing him, afraid of not telling him everything that was on his mind, afraid of never showing how he really felt whenever he could.
"..doesn't matter." He answered, he failed at tempting Zack into his bed.
He.. had failed.
Turning his eyes back to the window, he let out a soft sigh, not a speck of emotion on his face.
Zack dropped his hands back to his lap and gazed curiously at Cloud, "Ahh c'mon, where'd ya learn it?" He asked, "Seriously, Cloud, I wanna know." He dropped his legs from the bed and leaned over and rested his elbows on the mattress.
He still didn't get an answer.
Zack started to mock pout, his bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly, before he shifted again. Sitting on the bed he reached his arm over so it was right in Cloud's view, he gently cupped Cloud's jaw and slowly turned the man's face back towards himself so he could catch the pale lips with his own.
He broke away slowly, his lips grazing Cloud's, his voice slow and sensual, "Tell me."
Cloud tried to hold onto the kiss a bit more.. but Zack held his chin and kept him away. His eyes focused on the other man, his slow smooth voice causing a chill to run down his spine.
He was just going to be teased again. Cloud frowned a little, "..I didn't learn it from anywhere." Cloud tried to avoid him again but Zack's grip on his chin was good and firm. "I've..only been with you."
There was a mixture of emotions that ran through Zack at the words.
'Only with me..?'
He let out a slowly sigh and sat back up, his somewhat lost. Had he made Cloud feel like he couldn't move on with life? Had that been his doing? He smirked, trying to play it off, "See, I told you nobody forgets Zack Fair."
Cloud leaned heavily back in the pillows as Zack moved away from him. His keen eyes had caught a flicker of unknown emotion in Zack's eyes and he didn't know what to make of it.
He eyed him a long moment.. just watching him, "But…I did forget.."
He had forgotten most of the intimacy, he could vaguely remember how he reacted -- on a good day, when he tried real hard. He could remember details of what Zackary had liked and didn't like..
But their coupling..
The images had faded with time, with pain.. all he could see was Zack's weak smile of that final day of his life when he closed his eyes.
He wanted to remember the happier times. He wanted to remember so badly..
He kept his weighing eyes on Zack, a little hopeful the man might come closer so he could steal a kiss.
Zack sighed heavily, as he glanced away, he could feel the beginnings of another migraine coming on. He rubbed his temple and slowly shook his head, "God, I fucked with your mind.." He mumbled to himself. Letting out a sigh he rested his elbows on his knees, thumbs still pressing in at his temples. He didn't think he could begin to apologize for the words he had said so selfishly to Cloud that day.
"..I never should have told you the things I did that day on the cliff." He dropped one hand and sighed, "..Never should have said it," He repeated quietly, "That probably hurt you more than anything.. forcing my dreams and life onto you like that….God, I was a selfish bastard.."
Cloud didn't know what to say to him, feeling a little lost as Zack brought up these things. He wasn't sure if Zack was disappointed with him or not, maybe he didn't want to get involved with him again.
'Oh god..'
He hadn't thought of that before. Not..really..never wanting to think it was possible.
What if Zack didn't want to be with him anymore? He wasn't the kid he was, he didn't have the same innocent.. he wasn't as happy as he had been then.
'What if..?'
Cloud stopped that thought right there. He glared out the window now, trying to ignore his pounding heart. He wanted to force Zack closer to himself, to kiss him senseless and let his fears die back down.. but he didn't do anything. He just laid there, looking as aloof as usual, hiding his fearful mind.
Zack felt his shoulders start to shake, and he closed his eyes, not noticing Cloud's glare, as his own eyes were turned down towards the floor. He moved the hand that had been trying to sooth the migraine over his eyes trying to hide the tears.
..God, he was crying again. Funny, he had told Cloud he would probably cry again at some point.
A small sob ripped through him, "God... Cloud." he looked over his shoulder. His blue orbs were teary, a small trail of tears making their way down his cheeks, "Can you forgive me..?" He asked a small hiccup in his voice.
Cloud hadn't expected the quiet, pained voice, it snapped his attention from the window and he caught on to the silent sobs.
'Zack..'
Cloud's blue,green eyes softened and he closed the gap between them on the bed, pressing himself up against Zack's back. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his shoulder, snaking an arm around the man's middle in a gentle hug.
"..it's okay." Cloud murmured, "..I didn't hold anything against you."
Zack didn't lean back against Cloud, but his hand came up rest over the blonde's. The words washed over him, which made him cry a bit harder. Cloud shouldn't forgive him, a selfish bastard who fucked with his lovers mind when Cloud had been sick with Mako poisoning...
But he did, Cloud had forgiven him.
Relief flooded through Zack, and within a few minutes of crying he calmed down. The warmth and reassurance of Cloud behind him keeping him grounded. He kept his grip on Cloud's hand, holding the blonde's fist gently, yet firmly. He sniffed and turned his eyes over his shoulder, trying to brush off the tears.
"God.." Zack's voice shook slightly, "I'm such a cry baby.."
"It's okay." Cloud murmured softly against the man's strong, muscled shoulder, "..you were always a crybaby." He smirked slightly, moving his chin so it rested on the other's shoulder. He felt Zack's hand over his own and he felt a very content feeling move through him.
"I know.." Zack mumbled, he let out a long, soft sigh and smiled gently at the comfortable feeling that surrounded them both.
"I'm gonna miss that shy, blushing boy." he teased slightly, thinking about the bright flush that used to grace Cloud's cheeks at the mere thought of kissing Zack, "But you." He looked over his shoulder at Cloud, "You're a different ball game, aren't you?"
Cloud looked up from Zack's shoulder, looking at his profile as the man regarded him. He shrugged a little, trailing his fingers across Zack's clothes stomach -- trailing away from his hand.
"..maybe."
Cloud rested his chin on his shoulder once more, his cheek brushing against Zack's scared cheek. "You should find out." There was that sly demeanor again.. that sensual voice reserved only for Zack.
Zack hadn't notice the hand that was slowly, yet steadily trailing down his body. He had been too caught up in the bright eyes, "Oh I will." He promised, a smirk on his lips. "You still gonna beg and yell fer me?" he asked his voice taking on its own low, sensual tone once more. He was getting too caught up in the emotions and not thinking clearly..
But it felt so good, it felt so right..
Cloud kept his gaze a long moment, lifting his head and brushing his lips over the angled cheekbone. It felt casual, familiar, he trailed his soft kisses to the man's ear. He closed his eyes then, trailing his lips over the soft shell of his ear.
"No." Cloud breathed out defiantly, the hushed whisper following his keen cat-like gaze. His hand had trailed under the black shirt.. touching skin..treading on dangerous territory.
Zack shuddered at the hot breath, and sultry whispered word. There was a warmth on his skin somewhere but he couldn't focus on it, only accept it.
"No, huh?" He arched ever so slightly into the warm hand across his skin, they were starting to cross that line again, "Why's that?" He asked his head tilted slightly to the side.
"Mm.." He felt so warm and good. Zack was going to make him stop.. but he didn't want to..
Cloud trailed his lips back down his cheek and back to his neck. He boldly kissed down the vein, his eyes sliding shut and he started falling victim to Zack's scent and dreamy taste.
"I'm not a kid anymore.." He almost purred as he lifted his lips to Zack's ear, gently tickling the lobe.
The dark haired man smirked at the words, "No, you're not.." His own bright eyes fluttered closed at the smooth kisses along his neck and ear.
God they felt so good..
But, he couldn't..
Cloud tailed his teeth across his neck.. taking in a pocket of flesh and suckling it tenderly, moaning into the skin.
Gods..
Zack better not stop him.
Cloud didn't know if he could take another bout of rejection and it felt so good to be pressed against him like this. His heart was beating almost nervously in his chest and his ribs still held that biting ache, but he ignored all those things.
..they didn't matter.
Only Zack mattered.
Cloud let Zack's neck go, and tenderly kissed the spot, flicking his bright lust-filled eyes to the swirling bright blues. "I haven't had anyone but you." He reminded, he trailed his hand across the broad chest forcing Zack back against him, forcing their bodies together, "Ten years Zack.."
Zack could only gasp as the teeth trailed across his neck, causing to shudder. He moaned quietly, his voice mixing with Cloud's as the warm lips sucked at his neck.
God...it felt so good..
He could hear Cloud talking to him, murmuring his name in that deep voice. He felt himself leaning against Cloud's chest, and tensed.
"Cloud…your ribs.." He tried to remind.
Cloud was aware of his wounds, the ribs were already starting to become a bother since his breathing had picked up.
No..He didn't care.
If he could just keep Zack interested.. if he could make him forget.. He just wanted him, wanted to make a new memory.. help him forget all the bad ones.
He continued to kiss up his neck trying to ignore the pressing matter at hand. When his own thoughts were becoming too for him, and he bit hard on Zack's neck right at the junction between his shoulder and jugular, the place he knew would make him squirm.
Zack felt a jolt of pleasure rip down straight to his groin. A gasp escaped him, and he tried not move back against Cloud. Instead his legs spread on their own, a heat invading him. His head fell back onto Cloud's shoulder.
God, they needed to stop.
Where were Tifa and the kid when he needed them?
Cloud laid his cheek against Zack's shoulder a moment, trying to contain himself.
Stupid fucking ribs..
He tried not to sound like he was having trouble breathing.. but it was becoming a little obvious as he got more excited. He trailed his fingers across the toned stomach and dipping under the waistband of Zack's pants trying to distract himself from the pain in his middle. He brought his lips across Zack's neck up to his ear and he sucked at the lobe, closing his eyes he inhaled the fragrance of his hair. "Miss me?" He asked in a low tone.. his hitched breathing reaching Zack's ear.
The hitch in the breathing, Zack had heard it.
This needed to stop.
He hadn't even registered the warm hand on his growing organ, his mind focusing on Cloud's breathing instead, "...Baby, I've missed you for 10 long years.." He murmured, his hand trailing down to Cloud's wrist once more.
"But we can't."
His mind was screaming at him. Absolutely screaming at him to let Cloud's hand continue what it started, "You can't breathe." He slowly turned around to face the blonde, "I can hear it.." He reached up and gently cupped the man's cheek, "Don't hurt yourself anymore..Please.."
Cloud stopped his conquest for the man as Zack gripped his wrist and forced him to release his organ. Cloud tried to hide the hurt again.. he hated this. Hated not being able to fully experience his lover.. hated that Zack could always make him stop. Had he always been able to do that? Just shut himself off whenever he wanted?
It was his bruised ego talking now..
Cloud unwound himself from the man, pitifully laying back on the bed, out straight as a pencil and not an ounce of joy on his expression.
He would keep his hands to himself then. He was being childish but he glared up at the ceiling trying to ignore the pain in his chest from his stupid ribs and the ache in between his legs from his need for Zack.
Zack sighed. Cloud was being Cloud...
"Look." He tried again, his voice a bit more serious than before, "If you jar around your ribs too much you'll puncture a lung, do you think I want to be responsible for that? I know that you'd say it wasn't my fault, but honestly it would be."
He fixed his shirt so his skin wasn't exposed anymore, before he looked back at Cloud.
"I won't sleep with you while you can't breathe. End of story."
There, he'd flat out said it.
"I will not be held responsible for any more injuries." He slowly stood up, "I don't care about your leg, it just makes things easier for me, but when you can't breathe, I just can't do it."
Cloud turned then, laying out on his good side and keeping his back to the man as he got off the bed. He didn't..really want him leaving but he wasn't going to beg for him to come back.
Whatever..
He was going to sleep it off like yesterday. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the relentless rain when he heard footsteps and the door swinging open without so much as a knock.
Denzel easily walked into the room, his once smiling face faltering slightly as he caught the seriousness in Zack's eyes and the tense back of his father. He frowned a little, narrowing his eyes a bit at Zack.
Zack had upset Cloud last night too.. made him be mean or something.
Did he make him upset again?
Denzel was starting to not like Zack.
He took his eyes off the soldier and walked easily to the bed, he pulled himself up so he was sitting on the edge of it and placing a hand on Cloud's hip. "Hey..what's wrong?" He said in a low tone as if trying to hide the question from Zack.
Cloud didn't shrug off the hand but he didn't make a move to look at Denzel either, "..nothing."
Zack felt the child's burning eyes on him but ignored them.
The kid had no idea what had gone on, and wouldn't have understood that it wasn't Zack's fault, but Cloud's.
Everyone was against him today.
The headache that had started earlier was slowly coming back..
Sighing, he turned and started out of the room. "Be nice to your kid, Cloud, he didn't do anything. It was me."
He closed the door part way and slowly made his way to his room, hoping to sleep off the arousal and the headache..
He'd deal with Denzel later..
Cloud didn't respond to the child, keeping his eyes shut, his whole body relaxed as Denzel continued to watch him.
Denzel sat there a good few minutes before he decided to let his father sleep. Hm.. what did Zack do? He looked to the door and sprang off the bed, running to the half-closed door and going to Zack's room. He burst open the door as if he were an adult, as if he were allowed outrage and hurt.
"What did you do?" He asked, though the stern tone was lost due to his childish voice, his blue eyes glaring to Zack's back.
Zack looked up, confusion on his face. He had been rubbing his temples trying to make the pain stop, "What are ya talkin' about?" He asked as he looked over his shoulder to the boy, "What're ya all uptight about, huh?"
"Cloud's upset."
That was obvious. But.. he didn't know why.. and really he hadn't seen so much emotion from the blonde since before Zack came.
Cloud was normally quiet, withdrawn, but sometimes he would smile.. sometimes he would walk outside with him, he had promised to take him on a delivery one day too.
Denzel continued to watch the man on the bed, his arms folded and his expression cross. "He's never upset. You did something."
"What?!" Zack blinked and turned more on the bed, "Me?!" He pointed to himself, "I didn't do anything! He can't kee-" He paused..
Blurting out that Cloud couldn't control his own libido would've been bad.
"He's the one being mean to me!" He corrected.
Now Cloud's kid was angry with him?
...This day sucked.
Denzel watched him a long moment, that scrutinizing gaze he must have picked up from Cloud. Denzel weighed his words in his mind. He never saw Cloud get so riled up or upset at someone. Zack kept saying Cloud was being mean but he never gave more of a reason.
"Why?" Denzel asked though he knew he was crossing a line.. really this whole thing was probably crossing a line. He closed the door just in case Tifa came up, he wasn't sure how his mom might react to him giving Zack the third degree.
"Why he's being mean to you?"
"Cloud is Cloud." Zack mumbled as he rubbed his head again, "We're just disagreeing on some stuff that's all. He just doesn't want to admit that I'm right and he's wrong."
Denzel weighed the words in his mind, not seeing how that was out of the ordinary really. Cloud could seem pretty intense at times, and he was sure if you did get in a disagreement with him there might be some consequences.. not that'd he'd really seen him get in arguments with Tifa before.
..was he telling the truth?
"Okay.." He finally said, reaching for the door handle. "..stop disagreeing on stuff." He said as if that would make it all better.
Zack let out a small laugh, "Yea, that could take a while.." He rubbed his nose as he watched Denzel walk out of his room, the door closing behind the child.
"Another few weeks… 'take a while..'" Zack grumbled as he laid back on his bed and closed his eyes.
AN: Well here's chapter 11. Slowly but surely we're getting somewhere. This chapter is a bit longer, so hopefully people appreciate that. This was rather tricky to edit. Dunno know why. Hope you guys liked it.
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