Ch11: Benny Again

The next morning, Mark returned home from walking Paige to school and found Benny leaning against the side of the building. He was wearing a half-smile as he pushed away from the wall and, as he shoved his hands into his pockets he said, "You know what you need right now? Waffles."

And fifteen minutes later, Mark and Benny were seated in a red booth at a hole in the wall restaurant sharing plates of the breakfast, each stacked ten high and topped with either butter, syrup, powdered sugar, chocolate chips, or a variety of berry, as they sipped coffee from white ceramic mugs.

And, while he'd been wary at the man's idea at first, Mark found that he appreciated the simplicity of everything. The calm atmosphere and Benny's familiar no-nonsense attitude was soothing. It kind of reminded him of Brown.

Benny laughed when Mark voiced that particular thought aloud.

"Waffles remind you of Brown?" He took a pull of his coffee and coughed back another chortle. "If that's the case, your education must've been screwed."

Mark chuckled. "Why do you think I dropped out?"

Benny simply shook his head in amusement. He pressed a plate of syrup waffles into Mark's hands and traded them for the chocolate chip waffles that were sitting near the filmmaker.

Mark breathed in the silence as he proceeded to cut the traded stack of fluffy treats drenched in dissolved sugars and bit his lip in thought. After a moment he blew out a breath. "So… Are you gonna to ask?"

Benny sipped his coffee more thoughtfully this time. "Figured you'd up and volunteer the information if you were wanting to share it with me."

Licking his lips, Mark decided around a mouthful of blueberry waffle, "There really isn't much to tell." He paused for another second to chew before continuing, "I told him what I told you, maybe a bit more because it's Roger, but not enough to change the truth and thanks, by the way, because I took what you told me to heart and if we hadn't talked then I probably couldn't have…" He swallowed hard and shrugged.

Truth be told, in the past month Benny had been one of the best friends he'd had and he'd learned to value the businessman's opinions.

"We're all right. Maybe not great, but we're getting there."

Benny nodded and pointed a fork at him. "So I don't need to worry about that shiner 'round your right eye?"

"This?" Mark prodded the wound and winced as his silverware dropped down onto his dish with a loud clatter. "No, this was nothing. More my fault, really. Something I shouldn't have said."

Benny arched a brow but said nothing as he brought back his fork and chewed the waffle that was stabbed onto it, eyes never leaving the purplish-blue spot decorating the underneath of Mark's eye.

"Honestly," said Mark, trying to keep peace. "We worked it all out. The pain in the ass was trying to explain to Paige that Roger and I weren't throwing paint at each other."

Eyes falling away from the bruise, Benny chuckled at that. "What did you tell her?"

"That I got hurt on accident. No more and no less."

"She'll wonder eventually."

"Hopefully later rather than sooner. She's barely five years old. I don't think if I explained anything to her now she'd understand anyway."

"So you haven't told her about Davis and Mimi…?"

"Pain and death…" HIV and AIDS. Mark shook his head. "That's a conversation I'd much rather put off."

Benny nodded in understanding and, seemingly able to sense the suddenly tense air, skillfully managed to segue into another topic of conversation--something Mark was grateful for. He leaned over to grasp the menu that had been pushed aside and scanned the choices. "We probably should've ordered something else too, huh?"

Pressing a hand to his stomach in exaggeration, Mark shook his head as he leaned back into the booth, taking the change with stride. "Nuh-uh. No way. You should've said something earlier. I'm about ready to split." He pulled the napkin that was lying over his lap like a blanket and pressed it onto an empty plate.

Benny took his own napkin and folded it carefully before he too placed it over an empty plate, silverware on top to indicate he was done. He pulled his arms over his chest and said, "No problem. Haven't had a breakfast like that in a long time." He eyed their empty plates as a waitress came to collect the mess and commented, "Wouldn't be what I would call healthy…"

"No, but it was good. I'll have to bring Paige here sometime."

Benny pressed two twenties onto the table and shook his head as Mark pulled out his own wallet. "Think of this as my treat. A welcome back to New York City." He gave a small smile. "A bit overdue, of course."

"Thank you."

And Mark was certain Benny understood that he was talking about more than just the breakfast.

December 1991

They stood on the roof looking out at the holiday decorations blinking in the distance. Benny had his back leaned against the half-wall and was cradling a cup of hot coffee in a gloved hand and Mark was standing ramrod straight with his fists buried deep into the pockets of his corduroy jacket. It was snowing and cold, but neither moved from the other's side.

"Five hours before your taxi comes and you're already taking goodbyes." Benny was saying between sips of his coffee. He pressed a hand to his mouth and coughed to clear his throat. "I'm not trying to tell you how to do this, but I am asking you to think before you keep going like you are." When his companion didn't respond, Benny let out a heavy sigh. "You're burning out, Mark."

At that statement, Mark turned to Benny and gave a half-smile that didn't meet his eyes. "I think we established that when I told you I was leaving the city."

Benny frowned. "That's not funny." He set his empty styrofoam cup down and turned so his forearms rested on the half-wall and his hands intertwined. He heard Mark shift from foot to foot behind him but didn't move, just continued looking at the city. "It's a helluva place to leave."

"I know. And I know it hasn't been long since I made my decision, but it's definitely not one I made lightly."

"I would never assume so."

"If you had I'm sure you wouldn't have left your heated twenty-plus story apartment to come to a cold, former music publishing factory filled with drunk, cussing bohemians."

Benny laughed. "If you remember, I did live here for four years."

Mark smiled. "Of course. Me, you, Roger, and Collins." He stepped forward to lean against the half-wall too, his shoulders inches from Benny's. "You know, I never did thank you for dropping out of Brown to come to the city with me."

"Ended up being a good decision," admitted Benny. "One of the best." He wasn't one for nostalgia, but this wasn't a normal night. "You know the year where it was just the four of us? Before Maureen and April and Allison and the whole HIV/AIDS?"

"The golden year," dubbed Mark.

"Comparing it to everything that happened after," Benny nodded, "That's exactly what it felt like." He tilted his head up to look at the night sky, pausing contemplatively. "I know I promised you all things--"

Mark interrupted, "It doesn't matter now, Benny."

Benny turned too look at Mark. "You always did cast me in a better light than the others."

"That's because I know you better."

"And I know you."

Mark blinked. After a moment he nodded. "Yeah. You do know me."

Benny stared at him for a moment before he nodded in return and pushed himself back from the half-wall. "And, with that note, I think we should be getting you back to your farewell gathering." As his hand hovered before the door leading away from the roof, he turned to Mark once more and asked, "So, was that it?"

"Was that what?" asked Mark, confused.

"My goodbye."

XXXXXXXX

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Almost a month had gone by since he returned to the city and had somebody told him eleven years ago that he'd be walking the streets after sharing plates of waffles with Benjamin Coffin III, a man who had become an honorary uncle to his daughter, Mark wouldn't have believed it for even a half a second.

Benny had changed though. He was more of the man Mark had known when he first met him at Brown. Back when they were younger, bored of their classes and ready to ditch and head to the big city. Before Muffy, and rent, and life got in the way.

In Mark's mind Benny had been two people back then. He had been Benny and he had been Benjamin Coffin III. It was the former that had had goals and dreams just like the rest of the bohemians, but it was the latter that had decided to take any road possible to achieve those goals and dreams. And, somewhere along the lines, Mark really wasn't sure when, Benny had decided this was not acceptable and that's, Mark believed, how he ended up divorced from Muffy and dating Terry. And that's when he'd gone back to being Benny. Just Benny.

"What're you thinking about?"

"You."

Mark flushed. So wrapped up in his thoughts, he'd let his mouth move before his brain could think. His eyes shot down to the sidewalk below and he suddenly found new interest in his shoes. Benny, however, chuckled, causing him to look up.

"Oh?" The businessman prodded, "Anything in particular?"

Feeling his face heat up in embarrassment, Mark shook his head. "Nothing. Just some stupid thoughts."

"I'll try not to be offended by that."

"No, I mean, it's just--Look, I don't want to be nosey because you've been real good to me about LA and Collins and this whole mess with Roger and--"

Benny stifled another laugh, obviously amused by his floundering. "Look, man, I understand things are difficult for you. You know I understand. Believe me though, we're friends--or, at least, I like to think we're friends again."

"Yeah, we are but--"

"But, nothing," Benny interrupted. "You reserve the right to ask me anything."

"No." Mark shook his head. "I don't."

Benny smiled. "Fine. Then I'm giving you the right."

After a moment of hesitation, weighing the options in his head, Mark realized Benny probably wouldn't let up either way and admitted, "I was just thinking about how much you've changed." He shrugged, apologizing for what, he wasn't sure. "I mean you're…Benny again."

"I'm…" Benny raised a brow, confused and intrigued. "Benny again?"

"You're not an asshole anymore."

Benny laughed at that.

"It's not funny." Mark couldn't help but smile as he ran over what he had said in his mind. "Okay, maybe that part was funny but…" He bit his lip, tying to find the words, "I'm just saying that it's like you're you again. Like you're the same Benny I first met and not…"

"Not yuppie scum Benny?"

"Yeah." Mark shrugged pathetically. "I'm sorry but--"

"No man, look, I get it." Benny shook his head, swallowing the leftover of his laughter. "I mean, I understand where you're coming from--I was an asshole to you all--you just took me by surprise." He put a fisted hand to his mouth and cleared his throat and asked, "What brought about that train of thought?"

"I don't know." Mark sighed. He sidestepped a fire hydrant on the sidewalk and mulled over his thoughts as Benny cast him a sidelong glance. "I've been thinking about what I told Roger and what I told you and…" Mark struggled with the words. "It's not even been a month since I've been back in the city and it's like everything that's happened so far is just catching up to me right now."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, when I bought a plane ticket back to the city I prepared myself for things to be different." He bit his lower lip and shook his head. "I was pessimistic. Out of everything that ran through my mind, out of all the possibilities that I thought could be waiting, I could only think of what I'd been running from: pain, misery, death…"

Benny gave a smile in understanding. "And now that you know that's not the case, you don't know how to feel."

Mark nodded, then shrugged, then nodded again. "I don't feel bad about leaving. I can't. Not after everything I got out of it. I mean, I loved Audrey and I love Paige; and I'm more than grateful that things aren't as I had feared, but I still can't help but feel bad for not feeling bad."

"But you don't have to feel bad for not being here. With or without you, we kept going and, I'm sorry if that sounds rude, but it's true and--"

"You don't have to sugarcoat it for me, Benny."

"Look Mark, we all changed; not any one of us more than the other, but all of us in different ways."

"I think I'm finally beginning to understand that."


Hope people are still here with me. Just wanted to apologize for not getting a chapter up sooner than this, but I thought better late than never. Sorry for ending so bluntly but the next chapter I've got needed a sort of segue. I know Maureen and Joanne have been on the backburner, but they'll come in. This story still has to go through a major event and then I've got the prologue. Everything's thought up, just needs to be written down.

Thanks for reading. Please review.

Happy Days