Disclaimers: No, I could never do it as well as AWM.
Summary: The holidays are approaching as Kate convinces Alexis that she needs to face her fears regarding Paris.
A/N #1: There will be a reference in this chapter to 'Kill Shot.'
Chapter 11: First Holidays
November
It was a cold November afternoon. Kate was sitting in the middle of the living room floor entertaining Ari. She loved these moments spent with her small daughter, who seemed to change every single day. Now six months old, she was developing more personality every day. She laughed constantly and made sounds that to Kate and Castle sounded like 'ma-ma' and 'da-da.'
Kate sighed as she lay on her back on the floor as Ari attempted to use her mother as a bridge. She had one week of maternity leave left before returning to work on the first of December. As much as she loved her job, she was going to miss being with the baby every day. "Ari, I know that you're going to be doing a lot of new stuff the next few months, but will you save a few of those new things for mommy? Please?" Ari grinned at the sound of her name. "Daddy and Alexis will be home with the turkey and all of the stuff for your first Thanksgiving."
"Dada," Ari babbled in response as Kate grinned.
"Hey, why don't you say 'mama,' for a change?" Kate lifted Ari's warm weight into her arms. "Why is daddy so popular?"
"Dada."
"Yeah, yeah. I get it. You love your daddy. So do I," Kate kissed the baby's soft cheek as Ari giggled. "Hey, do you want to try your cup again?"
Kate got up off of the floor with Ari as she went to the kitchen to get the sippy cup she'd been trying to wean her daughter to. So far, the only thing her daughter liked to do with the cup was attempt to throw it across the room. She got the cup and walked over to the sofa, sitting down with the baby on her lap and placing the spout to her daughter's mouth. But, as had been the norm lately, Ari kept twisting her head away. Jenny had warned Kate that this would probably happen, but to just keep trying. Eventually she'd drink from the cup. "How about a story?" Kate leaned back as she settled Ari against her. "I know my stories aren't as good as daddy's but I'll try. Ari, your daddy is the bravest man I've ever known. He literally walked through fire to save me when a very bad man blew up mommy's apartment."
As she related the tale, one part of Kate's mind wondered what in the hell was wrong with her and Castle telling their baby daughter these horrifying stories. But then she remembered the fairy tales her mother had told her as a child. The witch had shoved Hansel into an oven, for crying out loud. The Evil Queen gave Snow White a poisoned apple. The stories that she and her husband related weren't that much worse in her opinion.
". . . After the fire department got done, daddy went back to my apartment. He searched the rubble until he found your grandpa's watch and then he had it fixed for me. He told me that his home was my home. Your grandma Martha knew that we were meant to be together before we did. Daddy and I were so silly for such a long time, my sweet baby girl. I hope that you're not that silly when you fall in love. When you're older, I'll explain to you all about swings, the word 'always,' and 'one and done.'"
"I think the whole of Manhattan was shopping at Whole Foods today," Castle complained as he walked through the door followed by Alexis. Both of them were loaded down with shopping bags.
"Well Castle, it is two days before Thanksgiving," Kate reminded her husband.
"Dada!" Ari shrieked as Castle and Alexis began laughing.
"What can I say? You're the more popular parent."
"No, it's just the easier sound to make first," Castle came over and took Ariel from her arms.
"At least her first words regarding you won't be to ask where you are," Alexis piped in as she began unloading groceries.
Kate looked at her husband. Alexis had been making a lot of digs lately regarding Meredith. She knew that the young woman was still trying to get through to her mother exactly why she didn't want to spend the Christmas holidays in Paris. Castle had offered to intervene, but Alexis had firmly told him that she had it under control. Kate was no longer as sure.
"Alexis, why don't you take Ari up to your room and play with her for a while? I'll help your dad put groceries away," Kate looked at Alexis, who instantly brightened and took her little sister from her father before going up to her room.
"Sometimes, I really hate what Meredith did to her," Castle kept his voice low as they began putting groceries away.
"Castle, how did you explain where her mother was?"
"For a long time I just said that she was working. But by the time Alexis was three or four, she wasn't buying that one too much, anymore. I think until she went to school, she thought that all kids just had a dad who stayed home all of the time. But, I'd take her to the playground and she'd see those moms . . . you could see the wheels turning."
"I just get the feeling that Meredith is forcing this whole issue about Paris because it's what she wants to do. To hell with how returning to Paris makes her daughter feel."
"Now you see what I lived with for two years," Castle pointed out.
Upstairs in her room, Alexis was on the bed with Ariel, and a bunch of toys that made sounds or lit up. Ariel's favorite was a ball with multi-colored lights that played nursery rhymes when she hit it with her small hands. "Ariel, you're so lucky that you're a baby, so that you don't have to get stuck with adult decisions. At least your mommy and daddy won't make you feel confused. You'll be able to talk to your mommy about things and she'll at least listen to you."
Ariel just looked at her older sister and grinned. "I used to love Paris," Alexis sighed, running a hand through her long red hair. "I loved the museums and the cafes. I loved walking on the Seine. Now Paris just scares me. Why doesn't she see that?"
"Alexis, are you hungry? Your dad was going to order pizza," Kate stood in the bedroom doorway.
"I'm not hungry," Alexis sat up and picked the baby up in her arms. "How much did you hear?"
"Enough," she came in and sat on the edge of the bed. "You do know that your dad or I will gladly talk to Meredith for you."
"If she won't listen to me, she's not going to listen to either of you," Alexis sighed. "I feel like I'm letting her down. She loves Paris. She taught me to love Paris. But, that was before."
"Alexis, sometimes to get over a fear, you have to face it head on. If you were to return to Paris and go back to the things that you love about the city, you can stow that other stuff away. But, maybe you need to go back to that house—"
"No!" Alexis shook her head vehemently. "I can't!"
"Alexis, listen to me. When I got shot and Dr. Burke told me that I had PTSD—"
"Kate, I don't have PTSD!"
"Alexis, listen," Kate urged her once again as the baby began to fuss. "Relax, because you're frightening Ari."
"Here, you'd better take her."
"When Dr. Burke told me that I had PTSD, I didn't want to believe him. I was letting my demons win. One day, your dad went to Javier because he was scared for me. Javier took me into the evidence room and pulled out this huge gun. It was the gun that had shot me. Looking at it brought back so many awful memories of that day. But Javi reminded me that it was just a tool. That house where Volkov held you was just a house. It doesn't have magical powers."
"So, you think that I should go to Paris with my mom?"
"How about if your dad goes with you, too? He needs to face some of that stuff head-on also. At least that way you'll be with someone who understands what you're feeling."
"But Kate, it's the holidays," Alexis protested.
"I thought that you were leaving the day after Christmas and coming back before New Year's. Ari and I'll be fine. Your gram can take care of her while I'm at work for a few days."
"Do you trust my mom and dad together?" Alexis made a funny face as Kate laughed.
"I trust your dad implicitly. Your mom? Not so much," Kate shook her head.
Kate was lying awake that night waiting for Castle to get out of the shower. She wasn't sure how he was going to take the suggestion about returning to Paris with his daughter. But she was sure that was the only way that Alexis was going to be able to move forward. It had been over a year and even after therapy, it was clear that the young woman was still traumatized by what had happened to her.
Castle came out of the bathroom and got into bed as Kate wrapped herself around him, snuggling close to his bare chest. "I had a talk with Alexis this afternoon."
"About her mother and Paris?"
"Castle, I think that you should go with her."
"Kate—"
"No, hear me out. Do you remember when Javi talked to me during the Lee Travis thing?" He looked at her and nodded. "Alexis is letting the bad stuff take over her good memories of Paris. You're the only person who completely understands what happened over there. You saw the house. You helped her get out of it. Meredith is never going to get it. To her, Paris is all about cafes, shopping, and museums."
"I don't want to be away from you and the baby again," he protested.
"Castle, it's only for a few days. Martha will happily watch Ari while I'm at work. She's already said that she would."
"Has Alexis said that she's okay with this?"
"I think it's the only way she's going to do it. It's a compromise, Castle. This way Meredith gets to spend time with Alexis while Alexis doesn't feel like she's letting her mother down."
"I'll go although I'd much rather take you to Paris instead of my ex-wife," he grumbled as he wrapped his arms around Kate.
"Castle, you're not taking your ex-wife to Paris. You're accompanying your daughter. If you let that woman set one foot in your hotel room, I'll castrate you."
"I thought you were going to say that you'd kill me and get Lanie and Perlmutter to cover up the crime."
"I can do that, too."
***CCC***
Two mornings later, Castle awoke to the wonderful aromas of a turkey roasting in the oven. He got up and pulled on some clothes before walking into the living room, where he smiled at the sight of his wife and his daughter busy in the kitchen while his baby daughter watched the proceedings from what could only be described as baby jail. "I see that you placed Ariel in holding," he teased as he walked into the kitchen, kissing first Kate and then Alexis.
"It was either put her in holding or step all over her. She's getting increasingly mobile," Kate said, handing Castle a cup of coffee.
"Is there anything that you need for me to do?"
"No, Alexis and I have it under control. Why don't you go see if the parades are on?" She suggested.
"Can I bail Ariel out?"
"Yes, you can bail her out."
Ariel was never happier than when she got to climb all over her father, pulling on his nose and ears as he made funny faces and silly noises at her. "Hey, no biting my nose!" Kate laughed as Castle pulled the baby away from his face. "I need that."
"Hold on," Kate pulled a teething ring from the freezer and brought it over to him. "See if she'd rather have this."
The teething ring worked for a few minutes until she started getting fussy and rubbing at her face. "I'm going to put her down for a nap before everybody gets here," Castle announced, getting up as Kate handed him a bottle. "I'm telling you that we have a connection," he teased, kissing her on the lips.
"No, I just recognize hungry and sleepy cries coming from our daughter."
By the time their guests started arriving for dinner, the baby was once again awake and her normal cheerful self. Jim Beckett walked into the apartment carrying a vase of fall flowers. "Happy Thanksgiving, Katie Bug," he hugged and kissed his daughter before giving her the flowers. "I thought that you might want to put these on the dinner table."
"Oh, they're beautiful. Thank you," she kissed her father.
After assuring herself that dinner was under control, Kate slipped away to go and change clothes. She smiled listening to the sounds of her family laughing and talking in the living room. She removed the dress that she was going to wear from the closet and laid it out on the bed. It was a deep burgundy color. She dressed and fixed her hair in an elegant upsweep, allowing some tendrils to fall on either side of her face.
"Katie, you look beautiful," her father breathed when she came out of the bedroom. "So, are your friends from the precinct dropping by?"
"Well, they're eating dinner with their own families, but I'm sure they'll be coming over at some point today to get dessert and watch football."
Martha arrived like the proverbial tornado shortly before they all sat down to dinner. Castle handed carving duties over to Jim as they all gathered around the table. "I think that you ladies have outdone yourself," Castle smiled at his wife and daughter.
"Let's all join hands," Jim said after he finished carving the turkey and sat down in his chair. "For the food that we are about to receive, we thank you. Thank you for the blessings of family and good friends."
Later that night, Castle and Kate were lying in bed as Ariel played between them, seemingly not ready for bed. Castle could see that Kate seemed to be somewhat melancholy. "What's wrong? Is it your mom?"
"No," she smiled, shaking her head as she played with the baby. "I hate the thought of having to leave her."
"So, take the full year," he told her.
"Castle, taking more time isn't going to make it any easier. I'll be okay."
"I'll tell you what," he snuggled down, laughing as Ariel grabbed at his nose. "When you come home after that first day back to work, I'll do everything in my power to cheer you up."
"I'm going to put her to bed," she said, noticing that Ari was starting to rub at her face. "Come on, chunky monkey. Give daddy a kiss night-night."
"Goodnight, sweet pea," Castle kissed his daughter's satiny cheek before Kate got out of bed and gathered her in her arms to take her upstairs. He rolled onto his side, listening to the nighttime sounds of Kate softly singing and humming to Ariel as she rocked the baby to sleep. He couldn't help making comparisons between Meredith and Kate. Meredith practically counted the days before she could return to work and her daughter while the very idea seemed to be sending Kate into a paralyzing depression. He made a vow to himself to pamper Kate more than ever in this next week before she had to return to work.
Upstairs in the nursery, Kate continued rocking Ari long after she'd fallen asleep. She couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy toward Castle, who'd soon be spending the whole day with the baby much as she'd been doing since her birth. But, like she'd just told him, putting off the return to work wasn't going to make it any less painful. At least she'd gotten to spend six months at home with her. She knew that was more than most working moms got.
"Night-night, chunky monkey," Kate placed the baby in her crib and covered her with a blanket before leaving her room and turning off the light.
A/N #2: Okay, from an author's standpoint I loved the first part of this chapter and then it just fell apart. I couldn't seem to make it work. The next chapter might be a while coming so that I can figure out where I'm going.
I can be found on Twitter Caskett1960
