A Mother's Touch
"They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald
It would be an understatement to say that the eldest Hyuga girl was plagued by feelings of inadequacy. For so long she had kept it tucked away within the recesses of her mind, convincing herself that the feelings were natural. As a teenager she had convinced herself that most teenagers, especially in their culture, felt inadequate during their high school years. It wasn't until she had completed her final year of college that Hinata realized that the feeling was still there clawing.
Putting up a front of happiness was one aspect of her life that Hinata was beginning to tire of. It seemed wrong to complain. Her family and by extension she was well-off and lived a life of comforts. Her father was not a showy man, but did enjoy luxurious comforts provided by his lifestyle and Hinata too had a part in that.
Yet happiness pervaded her and she turned to the brush.
She found herself fazing out, drifting. Many times it found its way into her art, depicting itself as an abstract image. Hinata never labeled it. She never knew what it was. They were always unnamed. Just like the gazes she felt at dinner. It was occasionally difficult to figure out what he was feeling.
In knowing Itachi, Hinata had come to find that it wasn't so much that he was moody, but more so that he expressed his feelings in various subtle ways.
"You look pensive, Hinata." commented Itachi as he speared another piece of fish.
"Caught up with my thoughts…" She replied, with a small sheepish smile. She wondered for a moment if Itachi thought her to be dense. They hadn't really engaged in any intellectual conversation, even though they both know that they could. Somehow it felt out of place at dinner. Itachi had brought her to a smaller restaurant, one without bells and whistles. It was simple and elegant. The food was of high quality, fresh fish, hot and flaky. The walls were bare.
"Are you always so honest?" Hinata asked, tilting her head to the side. She wondered how he did it. Being the head of a successful company was no easy feat. And then she realized that she was taking the same approach that she did her father.
As Hinata thought about it, the idea of what she was doing was quite ridiculous. She had never envisioned that the man she would marry would be cut from the same cloth of that as her father. Perhaps it was too soon to proclaim such a thing in her mind, but between her father and Itachi there were definitely similar qualities.
"Truth is subjective. I tend to adjust my conversation."
Hinata nodded, seeing his point. "I feel crazy saying this, but you remind me of my father. I used to say I would never marry anyone even remotely like him, yet here we are."
She laughed and Itachi held back what could have been smug smile.
"Why is that?"
"I honestly can't sum up the relationship I had with my father. It was very business-like. I didn't want that kind of relationship with a significant other. I didn't think that I would be happy. But then again, how reasonable are the thoughts of a young teenage girl," She added.
Itachi was listening closely to her language. Perhaps Hinata had not realized she had referred to him as what she did, but she had and Itachi took that as that the concept had perhaps already set in.
"Do you think we compliment each other? We have been business-like."
"We have, but I don't think you treat me like you would a colleague. My father tended to do that with his children and I suspect that is because he didn't how to interact with us otherwise."
The waitress had returned with another pot of tea. Hinata noticed how the waitress smiled especially at Itachi and blushed if he happened to glance up at her and thank her. Itachi seemed to be used to the way women reacted around him and rather unaffected by his influence. She was sure he was aware of it, but he never gave any indication that he acknowledged it.
"It has been necessary," Hinata said, as she picked up a hot cup of tea. "This conversation, for example, about how we see ourselves together. My father and I would have never had a conversation like this. He would have considered it a waste of his time."
"But to answer your question," she continued. "It would seem like we work well together, but we haven't spent a lot of time together yet. This doesn't bother me! I know that your life shouldn't be disrupted. So we have been this way because of the lifestyle."
Itachi waited until the waitress left to answer.
"You should know I don't usually spend time having dinner in restaurants as we are doing now. At some point in my life, I was more apt to agree with your father. Recently I have taken a different approach."
"Before you met me?"
"You could say that, but I had been thinking of it for quite some time."
"Stability?"
Itachi lightly shook his head. "Stability can be reached individually. I am talking more so about fostering relationships. I was not concerned with relationships before, but it became apparent to me that I should after coming to terms with my father."
Hinata looked at Itachi for a moment and found that he wasn't looking at her anymore, but had been talking with the cup of tea in his hands and his eyes closed. He took a few breaths and seemed to be centering himself.
"What about relationships with your family?"
Itachi opened his eyes. "I have different bonds with both my mother and my father. My relationship with my brother has been tumultuous recently because of our current situation. Sasuke enjoys being in control and in this matter he doesn't have any control. I will make sure of that."
Itachi gave Hinata a look that let her know he knew her next question.
"This leads us back to why I have done this. You are skeptical of my altruism?" At this, Itachi resumed a knowing quip of the lip. "I do not blame you for this. In this world, everyone is looking to gain or to take. Giving and selflessness becomes unfamiliar."
"But you do gain," Hinata pointed out. "It is not that I doubt your altruism, if that is what we can call it. But that I don't understand."
Itachi nodded. "I do gain. I become more personable to the market, the brand, and more relatable to potential clients and partners. This helps because of our collectivistic culture. But if that were my only motivation, I would have married any other woman. You do understand this? You will know more of me. Whether you intend to or not. I will know more of you. It will happen in time."
Hinata recalled Itachi saying this before.
"Like now." Hinata sipped her tea and let her eyes meet Itachi's. For the first time, it felt as if she couldn't look away and an ambiguous feeling took over her.
"Exactly. Like now."
"Speaking of the relationship with your mother, she is very lovely."
"This is true. At times I wonder, as that she is married to my father, how she has maintained sanity."
Itachi's hint at problems within the household did not shock Hinata. In fact she had even suspected it. No doubt his mother had been born with grace, but perhaps much of it was learned as well.
"You will understand more when you meet my family tomorrow night."
"I've been thinking about that, Itachi." Hinata pushed rice around in her bowl.
"I know you have. Would you like to go over it again?"
"The schedule? No, I've got that down. I have just been thinking of my reception."
Itachi tilted his head, his black bangs falling side-wards. Hinata noticed his haircut.
"I think that you are uncomfortable seeing Sasuke."
Stopping mid sip, Hinata caught her breath. There was silence, one that was heavy. Her initial reaction was that of denial. No, she would have said. Sasuke does not affect me in the least.
But this was a lie. The moment, the months of subtle agitation creeping up on her, had finally come.
"I'm afraid that I will see Haya in him." She admitted. "I see Hanabi all the time. But I do not see him. I don't want that to change."
"It is inevitable."
"I know," Hinata sighed. "I don't know anything about your brother, but I can't shake this reprehensible feeling whenever he comes to mind."
"He took advantage of your sister, whether she realizes this or not, and there was a result that changed your life and hers. His has continued just as it was before. This is my problem with my brother."
It was then that Hinata realized that they had never talked about what had happened. The events leading up to Hanabi's tearful confession and her impulsive decision hadn't crossed her mind in months.
"We haven't discussed this at all…"
"It is not how I operate," Itachi began. "Instead of focusing on the situation, I tend to concern myself with solutions. I apologize."
The waitress had returned with the check and a smile. Itachi's credit card had already been sitting on the table. He handed it to her with a nod of polite acknowledgement and the waitress once again, as Hinata had observed before, seemed to be startled by his attention.
"My sister isn't free of blame," Hinata pointed out. "Although she is young, she is an adult and decided to do an adult-thing that resulted in a life change. If my father were to find out the truth, there would have been no mercy. So I was willing to sacrifice relations with my family. It is not entirely Sasuke's fault…"
"It was about choices. She chose to drink and flirt with your brother and sleep with him. By extension, she also chose to risk pregnancy."
A look of question appeared on Itachi's face
Nodding, Itachi pulled the napkin from his lap and set it on the table. "I have been meaning to ask you about this. I believe they have differing accounts of that situation."
"What does Sasuke say happened?"
Immediately Hinata regretted asking the question. The food that so contently settled into her stomach seemed to begin war with each other as possibilities of Sasuke's story begin to form in her mind.
Itachi's reply told her all.
"Let's not ruin the weekend."
(line insert)
Immediately going into the bathroom once she and Itachi returned home (when had she naturally started calling it that?), Hinata found herself almost retching. She clamped a hand over her mouth and turned on the faucet.
She knew Itachi went to check on his mother and Hayako. Forcing down whatever was coming up her throat, Hinata splashed water on her face and took deep breaths. She had no idea she would be affected this much.
The cold air that she never seemed to quite get used to was harsher when she opened the bathroom door and made her way upstairs. Softly padding into Hayako's nursery, she found her baby cozily swaddled and softly breathing. Her chest rose and fell to a rhythm. Hinata was sure it made sounds she would like to paint.
Itachi poked his head into the room.
"My mother took the guest room."
Even in the dark, Hinata could sense Itachi's gaze on her back. She had come to realize he was good at reading people. Being deceptive with Itachi would never work.
She turned and he must have caught a glimpse of her expression because a neutral voice stated her name in an almost asking fashion. Forcing a light smile, she held a finger to her lip and turned the light off, walking out of the room.
Itachi hadn't followed her immediately to his room. Clapping her hands, the lights flicked on. The system for his room had been completely revamped a few days before and Hinata and almost forgotten about it until that moment. A different security system would also be being installed the following week. Itachi was making all sorts of changes.
In the bathroom, as she slipped on her knee-length silk night gown, Hinata wondered if it was mainly because of her and Haya. Probably not. She remember Itachi mentioning that he wasn't home as often before and he had most likely been meaning to do it for a while anyways.
Hushing a yawn, Hinata grabbed the remote once she left the bathroom and found Itachi looking in one of his drawers. For a moment, she contemplated putting a robe on, but she decided against it. Oddly she didn't feel uncomfortable with Itachi. As long as she wasn't draped along the edge of the bed in lingerie, she doubted Itachi would even notice. Although the image almost made her laugh.
If there were an area that she had absolutely little to no experience it would be seduction. Top of the list.
"Itachi?"
"Hm?"
She was going to ask if he was fine with watching television, but she saw him glance at the remote in her hands and he hadn't said anything, so Hinata took that as a sign he didn't mind. It was still early.
He had turned now and headed for his closet and that was when Hinata saw it. Pushed back ever so elegantly was a headband that pushed his bangs up over the top of his head. He had unbuttoned his grey shirt, exposing a leanly muscled chest and the beginnings of a happy trail. Surprised at his casual appearance, Hinata inadvertently let out a small laugh, which she quickly quieted.
But Itachi had already heard and lifted an eyebrow at her.
"Something funny?" he asked, seemingly almost on the verge of a humorous quip of the lip, and becoming aware of his appearance.
Hinata took a seat on the bed. "I've never seen you this way." She wondered how many women saw Itachi in his current…state.
Itachi's eyes flicked quickly. "I've never seen you that way."
She turned on the large TV mounted on the wall in front of the bed, but still held Itachi's gaze. "I like to be comfortable." Hinata bit her lip to keep from laughing.
Itachi adjusted his headband. "As do I."
A loud vibrating came from the bathroom and Itachi quickly excused himself. Flicking through the channels, Hinata settled on a historical drama she had went to the movies to see a couple years before with Hanabi, but ended up not finishing because Neji had called an emergency family meeting.
And then she heard a voice she didn't so much recognize that certainly wasn't coming from the television.
"I don't fucking care how long it takes you. You are six weeks behind on this assignment. I have been lenient enough with you and this relentlessly tiring situation."
Hinata wasn't sure what was more unsettling. The fact that Itachi was showing intense agitation after being so playful or that it was so calmly relayed, yet still gave her chills. He really kept this room freezing.
"End the fucking bullshit and have this taken care of before I get in on Monday. You know where to leave the report."
The bathroom became silent after that and Hinata moved to the front of the bed and slipped under the covers. For some reason, she had a feeling like that was hardly Itachi's mood when he was at his wits end.
She heard the shower turn on and breathed a sigh of relief. Nestling further within the pillows, Hinata focused on the movie and almost found herself dozing until Itachi poked a soaking head out of the bathroom door.
"Hinata, could you do me a favor?"
He probably hadn't thought she had heard anything. She nodded, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"My laptop, the silver one not the black one, is in my office. Could you grab it for me? Thank you."
It figured he worked before bed. Quietly slipping downstairs, Hinata entered Itachi's office and grabbed his thin laptop. On the way up she grabbed a couple of water bottles.
Giving her an appreciative nod, Itachi motioned that she sit by him on the end of the bed. Having just finished towel-drying his hair, Itachi let the towel rest on his bare shoulders. He had on a pair of black pajama pants.
"I wanted to show you something." Opening his laptop, Itachi began typing away. "Even before this situation happened, I had been planning on moving. A side venture of my fathers has brought about the construction of high rise condos in the Dokuga district and I had been planning on making the move there. But…" he trailed off.
Hinata peered at his fingers moving so nimbly across the keys. He had elegant hands for a man.
"I think this would be more appropriate." Turning the laptop towards her, Itachi pulled up photos of modern houses also in the Dokuga district.
"Oh, these are lovely." Hinata softly exclaimed.
Itachi clicked through the photo album, giving small thoughts about each property and pros and cons he already identified. He hadn't actually been to any showings of the houses yet and wanted to further discuss prospects.
"I've been advised to buy now based on economic climate and the market statistics. I would realistically like to close a deal within the next month or so, but I would like it if you accompanied me during the viewings. A second opinion can be helpful on these matters."
Hinata took a breath. Even though the prospect of moving again this soon seemed rushed, she couldn't deny that the apartment, while more than comfortable, still didn't feel entirely lived in. She loved the view of the city, but maybe a more suburban setting was what she needed. Itachi's bachelor pad, or fuck pad as Sai might have called it, was exactly that.
"I think it's a great idea. When are the showings?" She hushed another yawn. Dinner was finally settling in.
Itachi pulled up what looked to be a jam-packed schedule. "Two are next Saturday."
"Count me in."
Itachi gave an approving quick nod and closed his laptop. Hinata crawled to her claimed side of the bed and once again nestled in the covers. The fact that she and Itachi were sleeping in the same bed hardly fazed her. It was large enough for there to be ample space between them.
"This movie is entirely predictable," Itachi commented as he stood up and lifted the covers on his own side. "The prince will choose to forsake his father for the sake of his pretty farm girl lover. He chooses happiness over loyalty."
At that point, the movie was ending. Hinata turned off the lamp on her side with a single clap. "He chooses love, even though he is also afraid of his fathers wrath. Do you think that takes bravery?"
Itachi clapped and the room went dark, the white TV light flashing through each scene. "He is brave, but also young and foolish. Living out life in poverty, but with the one he loves is punishment enough. His father won't kill him."
Hinata watched on and true to Itachi's word, the emperor showed his son mercy at the very last second. Could it have been because the emperor saw a piece of his previous self in his son?
"Have you seen this movie before?"
Itachi shook his head. "The story isn't all that old. There are times you meet a person who makes you see the world in an entirely different way. It almost feels like a new reality. Euphoric, even."
Laying her head down on the cool pillow, Hinata watched the ending credits while she thought about what Itachi had said. Then she wondered if he had ever been in love.
Authors Note:
Well this took a bit like fucking forever, right?
Due in part to many things…namely, college! I haven't written any FF since the past year. Insane!
Feel differently about many things – so this will also affect my writing.
In that time, I do know that the Naruto series has wrapped up and they're now coming out with that Boruto mess which invalidates any other pairing you ever loved aside from ones they've established. I DON'T CARE. HINA/SASU & HINA/ITACH 4EVER!
Anyway, this chapter was heavily centered around Hinata and Itachi. I like writing their interactions and want to get better at it. Next chapter, which hopefully won't take as long, will definitely introduce MANY more characters, be colorful, and hopefully entertaining. It will be a lot more dynamic in background and character development. Hinata and Sasuke will be seeing each other for the first time. Hinata, Sakura, and Itachi will also have some screen time. Hinata will meet many of the people Itachi sees all the time, so she will get a better idea of his life away from their home time interaction.
Also, Hinata will be looking scrumptious. Demurely scrumptious because that's just how she is!
So, I hope you enjoyed reading. Please don't hesitate to give criticism or comments. I look forward to it all!
