Manaan Problems
Meanwhile T3 trundled along the streets of Manaan looking for love. He had been searching through droid store after droid store, looking for the right model he could rightfully claim as his own. The Ebon Hawk was a fun distraction, but her engines got cold real quick and the astromech droid was ready to move onto something a little more responsive.
However, nothing he liked had managed to turn up anywhere. They were either old models, to old even for him, or to fresh off the assembly line for his liking. He needed something in the middle.
Just as the little droid was beginning to lose hope, it decided to check one more shop before heading back to the Ebon Hawk. It would, no doubt, be a miserable feeling going back, T3 contemplated. The droid then decided that the lowering of standards was in order as his wheels passed through the threshold of shop. Much like everything else on Manaan, the walls and counters were pristine and white. Rays of light drizzled through a sunroof, making the white walls seem to glow warmly.
One thing caught T3's eye almost immediately.
A droid different from any other it had seen on Manaan. It's colors were that of orange and red mixed, with eyes that glowed with the color of blood. The droid's frame was bulky and it's chassis sturdily built. Long, powerful legs supported the whole creation as it's head choppily and rhythmically moved left to right.
T3 didn't even ask about the droid before he bought it. The amount, some several thousand credits, did nothing to ruffle his behavior core as he gazed up at the beautiful creation. The owner of the shop, who had never seen a droid buying another droid, stiffly unlocked the restraining bolt and shuffled back several steps. The red droid took several languid steps forward and gazed down at the small little astromech droid. T3 met it's gaze in awe inspired wonder.
The droid's vocabulator whirred to life, "Declaration: HK-47 is ready to serve, Master."
The little droid's circuitry buzzed and tingled with ecstasy at being called 'Master' and booped in approval. The owner of the shop, who regarded the whole situation as bizarre, slowly walked back to his front desk. T3 hardly noticed and queried HK as to it's function, as the little Astromech droid had never asked.
HK spoke calmly,"Answer: I am an Assassin Droid master. Programmed to go to the farthest reaches of the galaxy and kill whoever it is you see fit."
T3 was, of course, surprised but this new information hardly bothered him. The droid quickly asked if HK was required to do whatever it's Master told it to do.
"Answer: You are my Master, Master. I live to serve."
The little droid beeped lowly. His circuitry began to buzz in pleasure.
"This whole planet reeks of pussy," Kar grumbled.
"Just because," Bastila insisted indignantly, "The Manaan people preach neutrality instead of conflict does not mean they're part of the female genitalia, Kar."
"Bastila," Carth wondered out loud, "Do Jedi teach sex ed?"
"What could a Jedi ever use such pointless information for?"
The soldier shrugged, "Just saying, you saying the word genitalia sounds pretty bad."
"Carth, your wife is dead. Shut up."
Silence followed, then: "You're an evil woman."
Bastila flicked the bangs out of her eyes, "Let's just find the Republic Embassy so we can get to this Star Map."
Carth's eyes bubbled up. He attempted to put his head on his Kar's shoulder, who roughly brushed him off and chased after his female companion. They passed by separate groups of Sith and Republic soldiers, who glanced at the three with admiration on the Republic side and hatred on the Sith side. Kar kept his lightsaber in sight as the tension mounted. This tension was largely wiped away once Bastila walked by and the soldiers became to distracted staring at her to really bother with her male companions. Kar, a little jealous of all the attention not going his way, pouted and followed Bastila to the entrance of the Embassy.
Before they entered, the door behind them hissed open. Mission and Zaalbar strode out at a jaunty pace, hardly even noticing the trio who confusedly watched. Finally, the Blue Twi'lek caught sight of them in the corner of her eye.
"Hey guys," Mission exclaimed, "We were just leaving that hotel over there."
"A hotel?" Kar asked, "Why were you in there?"
"We were just exploring the place, but then the Front Desk guy kicked us out because of some murder in one of the rooms," She paused for a second as the trio simultaneously sent a suspicious look her way. Mission hardly noticed however and smiled brightly, "See you guys later."
Zaalbar and Mission trotted off. Meanwhile, Carth turned to Kar and said, "We've been on this planet for ten minutes and she's already murdered somebody."
"How do you know she killed somebody?" Bastila argued irately, "Because she's an independent woman?"
The soldier's face darkened with an evil in his eyes that caused Kar to shiver, "It wouldn't be the first time."
The two Jedi in the group exchanged awkward glances at Carth's sudden seriousness. "Let's just get into the Embassy," Bastila said, "This is no time for pointless side quests."
The Embassy, strangely enough, was barely full of anyone. Two guards stood at attention in the main chamber, but that was all. The two Jedi made their lightsabers plain to be seen, so as to not arouse some sort of suspicion. An old man, dark skinned with thinning gray hair, quickly came up to meet them.
"It's not often we see Jedi come to Manaan," He said, "Much less two Jedi and a War Hero together."
Carth blushed and giggled. Kar promptly shut him up by banging him over the head with his lightsaber while Bastila stepped up to handle the conversation, "We have come to Manaan on the whim of the Jedi council. Our mission is of extreme importance to the Republic and we would be grateful if you could provide any aid."
Kar rolled his eyes, "Mandatory quest coming in 3, 2, 1 . . ."
On cue, Roland immediately told them all the story of how one of the Republic's vital drones had been captured by the Sith. The droid, he said, had vital information that could not be leaked to the Manaan government, or the Republic would be severely penalized in Kolto harvest.
"In a war," He finished, "That is something we cannot allow to happen."
Bastila fumed, "We need a submersible down to the Ocean floor in order to discover an artifact, a Star Map if you will. We do not have time to help you recover your encrypted pornography stash."
Wincing at this (True?) accusation, The Republic Ambassador desperately thought of any way he could keep the Jedi's attention. Just as Bastila's impatience was turning to extreme rage, he suddenly perked up, "You say you need to find an artifact on the Ocean floor? Well it just so happens that one of our covert research teams were able to unearth a relic like the one you're looking for before we lost contact with them. I can get you down to the station, but I need that probe back first."
Bastila was about to respond when Kar quickly jumped in, "We'll do it!"
Roland smiled broadly, "Thank you for your services," He then quickly ran away before Bastila could object.
Practically volcanic, the female Jedi turned to a smirking Kar, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Don't worry, I have a plan."
Canderous, at the same time, was busy standing in shock at the appearance of his thought to be dead comrade Jagi. The man's armor was largely the same, a dull black which contrasted greatly with the white walls and floors of Manaan. The older Mandalorian spotted two pistols holstered at Jagi's hips and subtly went for the heavy blaster mounted on his back.
"I wouldn't do that," Jagi hissed, "Manaan's neutrality laws won't allow violence."
Canderous snorted, "Not much of a Mandalorian you are if you obey neutrality laws."
"Says the forty year old veteran writing love poetry to a Jedi."
The older man spluttered, "I would never do that."
"You've gone as soft as mash potatoes," Jagi growled, "You left me for dead, Canderous. And now I'm going to kill you just as you left me and all your men to die on that planet."
Ignoring Jagi's awkward simile about mash potatoes, Canderous met the challenge with a growl, "Are you challenging me to a duel? You know I had no choice but to leave you. Strategically, the fastest way to victory was to sacrifice the group, surely you can understand that."
"Everybody died but me, you old fool! All because of you fled the battle out of cowardice," Jagi thrusted a finger at the old Mandalorian, "You and I shall duel in the Dune Sea of Tatooine where all this will be decided. One of us must die. Refuse and all your honor shall be stripped from you, old man."
Jagi stalked away. Canderous growled and called after him, "Once I kill you I am going to literally eat your leg!"
His Datapad buzzed from his back pocket. He jerked it out and saw a message from Kar glow on the screen.
"Meet us near the Sith Embassy, we need your help."
Landon Yek was monitoring the front desk to the Sith Embassy, just outside the elevator, when his com buzzed. He answered and his superior, Thila, barked at him over the com, "We have a new mercenary coming in for our Special Missions group, be ready to let him in."
She disconnected before Landon could even think of replying. He scowled at the impoliteness of the whole exchange and impatiently waited. Eventually, an older man with a crew cut and greying hair walked around the corner. The blaster rifle on his back was bigger than any weapon Landon had seen before.
The supposed Mercenary came up to the front desk with an expression that oozed barbarism, "I was told to come here for a job."
Landon made quick work of deactivating the security systems and opening the elevator door, "Go right on in."
The Mercenary walked by and Landon could put his nerves at ease finally. For a moment he thought he saw a slight shimmer in the air, swaying under the rays of light from Manaan's sun, but dismissed it. Just a little humidity, he thought to himself, and reactivated the security systems.
As the elevator descended, Kar, Bastila and Carth materialized around Canderous.
"I can't believe one of your plans worked," Bastila remarked.
"Yeah," Kar grimaced, "These stealth field generators cost fifteen hundred credits each so we better use them until they explode or else I'll flip on a bitch."
"Hey, look we're almost there!" Carth exclaimed. The elevator had indeed almost reached the bottom. The trio quickly reactivated their stealth field generators and pushed themselves into the corners of the elevator. Everything suddenly became still and the door opened. Canderous walked out and was quickly escorted toward the barracks. Nobody noticed the three columns of minutely shimmering air that followed.
As planned, the three of them jumped inside a storage closet, leaving Canderous to walk further into the facility. Bastila, Carth and Kar deactivated their generators and waited for their eyes to adjust to the darkness.
"Where are we going?" Carth asked.
"I don't know!" Kar scoffed, "I didn't actually think any of this would work so I didn't plan this far ahead. Who knew Sith security would be this easy to get through?"
"Well now that we're trapped in here," Bastila snapped, "We might as well try and use the Force to sense what's going on in this base."
Carth cocked his dual pistols, "Or we could just murder everything."
"This is not the time to avenge your dead wife."
"I think she was cheating on me with Saul Karath."
"What?!"
"Shhh!" Kar hissed, "Carth, please stop revealing more of your backstory, we're a little busy right now!"
"You can't tell me to be quiet," Bastila growled, "I'm an independent woman."
"Maybe you could create a diversion by teaching feminist principles and boring them to death."
Bastila was quiet, and then, "I could kill you in here and nobody would know."
"Just help me find the droid!"
Kar spread out out his senses through the force. Sifting through room after room, he detected the life force of each Sith Soldier and the sparks of energy racing through their battle droid companions. He found the largest concentration of soldiers and focused in on that room, straining to see what was inside. The Probe was most likely deactivated, but the tiny hums of energy still emitted in it's shutdown state would be enough for him to notice. As it turned out, among the grand crowd of guards he detected a slight tug of energy. Just a minuscule piece of leftover power which he followed back to it's source.
He opened his eyes, "I've found it."
Bastila seem startled, "That was fast."
Kar flashed his seductive grin, which resembled a cracked dam, "I'm getting better, let's move."
"Man," Carth groaned, "I wish my wife was here so I could do something!"
On the other side of the complex, Canderous was busy getting his hit on.
"Hey Baby," He called to a passing female officer, "Mind if I park my Basilisk War Droid inside your Duros city?"
The female officer huffed at this and flicked an annoying glance his way. As she walked away, Canderous leaned against a wall and sighed. He was out of the times, he admitted to himself, he hadn't flirted with a regular woman in a long time. Maybe referring to when his species bombed a planet with nuclear warheads wasn't a very good flirting subject. Once again he sighed. If only there was a Mandalorian woman around, all this flirting would be unnecessary and he could simply get his rocks off with but a mere request.
His thoughts of age brought him back to when Jagi had confronted him in the Manaan docks. The old man cracks were really starting to get to him. He was, after all, almost forty. The Mandalorian could feel the grips of age beginning to drag down his once supple and youthful body.
It seemed the Mandalorian couldn't raise his head higher than a slouch as he pressed the detonator mine onto the power conduit.
Maybe a little senseless murder would make him feel better. Atleast until Kar was able to escape with the information he needed. As he walked away with the same epic slow motion walk a person would see in a movie, a Sith guard asked what he was doing. Canderous flashed the detonator, put on a pair of sunglasses and smiled dryly, "Having a midlife crisis."
He pressed the detonator button.
-
Kar opened the door to where the Probe was just as an explosion rocked the Embassy. Right on time, he thought to himself happily, my plans are on a roll today. Inside the room, a dozen Sith guards were still reeling from the shock of the explosion. Bastila used the force to close the door before anyone realized it was open.
"Guys!" A Sith soldier groaned, "I think the toilets exploded again."
Every other Sith moaned with annoyance, "Come on, Jack. Did you really clog the toilets again? We told you to stay away from that Manaan fish shop."
"I wanted to see if my gas got any better!"
A Sith dressed in red armor smacked Jack over the head with a sharp thump, "Let's just go, the Captain's gonna want us to clean it all up after this."
The guards shuffled out, muttering curses under their breath. The trio deactivated their stealth generators. Carth quickly rushed to the pod and began downloading information through the Republic's Datapad. After a bit of tense waiting, Carth yelped in success and pocketed the Datapad back into his pants. Before they left, Bastila grumbled, "Make sure I don't touch that Datapad."
They reactivated their stealth field generators as they left. The three companions pressed themselves close to the walls as squads of soldiers rushed to the scene of the explosion.
"Where's Canderous?" Kar muttered under his breath.
"I wonder if he's okay," Bastila wondered aloud.
The group suddenly stopped and, though invisible, the two men sent her a quizzical look, "Did you really just say that?" Carth asked.
Bastila reached over and smacked Carth silly before walking off. Kar shrugged and followed, and the sniffling soldier went after the two.
They reached the docking bay, where several ships were parked and waiting to be flown away in an extremely convenient escape. The three of them boarded the closest ship and prepped the flight controls.
"Where's Canderous?" Carth cried from in the Co-pilot seat.
"I say we leave him," Bastila decided.
"Bastila as usual being the voice of reason," Kar announced scathingly, "Hold on, I'm texting him right now."
At the same time, the door from which they had entered the docking bay exploded open in a burst of jolly flames and engulfing clouds of smoke. Canderous appeared, sprinting through the fire unflinchingly as though immune and laughing while he did it. Blaster shots pierced the smoke, which the Mandalorian gladly returned with a spray from his own humongous blaster. His boots slammed upon the boarding ramp and Bastila quickly took off just as the silver armor of the Sith troopers began to peak through the dull, gray smoke.
The ship flew away from the destruction in a blur. Canderous was still laughing gleefully when Bastila turned to Kar questioningly, "So, what's next in your genius plan that I can't believe is actually working?"
"We get back to the Republic Embassy, obviously," Kar replied smoothly.
"Manaan Investigation Forces will be all over that place," Carth broke in.
Ignoring Carth's sudden use of logic, Kar addressed them both, "They don't know we were in that base, we were cloaked the whole time. They'll be looking for the only person that was visible the entire time."
All eyes turned to Canderous. He was busy kissing his blaster lovingly when he realized all attention was on him for once, "More senseless killing, please?"
