Explanation/Disclaimer: All work and no play makes Ed a dull boy...

All work and no play makes Ed a dull boy...

All work and no play makes Ed a dull boy...

All work and no play makes Ed a dull boy

All work and no play makes Ed a dull boy



Quickie # 11 Shine on!


Announcer: Ash Misty and Bork...


Brock (interrupting): That's BROCK!


Announcer: Whatever..., have just left Camp Painfuldeath and are on their way to happier places. How did they escape from that dangerous situation? Well, don't ask questions, or we'll break your legs. We'll do it too! What do you think happened to those two little kids from Cardcaptures? They started sniffing around where they didn't belong and BAM!!! Bodies in a wood chipper...


Ash: (making a clearing of the throat sound) ahem...


Announcer: Anyway, here's Ash Misty and Brock... ... and remember what happens to snitches... they found Michigan J. Frog dead in the woods with his genital cut off and stuffed in his mouth... REMEMBER THAT!!!!


Ash Misty and Brock just stare at each other in disbelief. "Meanwhile..." Ash said, "Back at the ranch. It's good to be alive, huh?"

"Yeah!" Misty agreed, "I cant believe how we got away! It was amazing!"

"Yeah, I thought we were goners but then... well you know the rest!" Brock replied.


Then Misty smacked Ash on the arm. "And its all your fault!"

"Ow!" Ash yelled, "My fault?"

"Yeah!" Misty complained, "Your fault, it was your idea to go to Lavender Town, WE wanted to go to Mahogany Town!"

Brock nodded his head, "We would have been perfectly safe if we went there!"

***SCENE CHANGE TO MAHOGONY TOWN...


Jill Valentine backs up against the wall, she could hear the shuffling feet of the undead creeping closer. The moans of the poor souls of the still animated deceased getting closer scared her; she knew she was running low on ammo, and it will be a while before Chris Redfield would be here with STARRS backup. She knew they were close... she could smell them... and she could hear that funky beat.


Suddenly a horde of zombies led by Michael Jackson doing the thriller burst around the corner... (I know, old joke... but wait for it...)


Jill screamed in fear and started firing, Michael took two in the chest and dropped the zombie baby he was holding out the window. He slumped down to the ground and Jill crept up closer to make sure he was "dead".

SUDDENLY Michael's nose bared its teeth and growled and leapt off his face and started gnawing at her neck! Jill knew she was in danger...


(See, I told you to bear with me)


***SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY...


Ash shrugged, "Come on guys, we're alive, doing fine, so lets just drop it, OK? Besides, its not like that was the worst place we ever stayed... hey, remember that time that we took that job to be caretakers for that hotel for the winter? Now THAT was a sticky situation!"

Misty and Brock shot a glance at one another then Misty asked, "Ash, what are you talking about?"

"You don't remember?" Ash asked surprised, "Come on, it was like 2 years ago..."

*SCENE CHANGE TO THE OVERLOOK HOTEL...


Ash Misty and Brock are walking down the hallway of the old hotel, being shown around by the supervisor. "Things are pretty quiet here in the winter," the man explained, "No outside contact once the snow starts, you cant get to town once the snow starts, not without the snowmobile."

Ash shrugged, "Oh I'm sure we'll be fine... We can always watch TV."

"The TV doesn't get any reception once the snow starts." The man explained.


"Oh..." Ash replied, "Well, there's always video tapes..."

"Sorry, but all the VCR's are broken." The man stiffly said.


"Oh, well there's always radio." Ash said taking another guess.


"The only station that comes in clear is the all Polka station; WSUCK."


Ash made a rye face, and said, "Well, I'm sure we'll find something to keep us busy."

"Yes, well just make sure to do all your duties." The man continued, "Every room is to be vacuumed and dusted once a week, the elevator is to be oiled once a month, the ax collection must be shined every single day, the knives must be sharpened daily, the chainsaw must be started and swung around wildly every 2 days, to keep it from rusting up."

Our favorite trio exchange a nervous glance. The man pauses for a moment, "Am I forgetting anything?


"Oh, I don't know," Brock says sarcastically, "Maybe there's a large acid collection that we will have to test."

The man stared icily at Brock. Brock sweatdropped, "I was just kidding sir."

"Yes well," The man replied, "I will say this only once. You are to leave the acid collection alone."

The trio exchanged a troubled glance again. "Well," The man said picking up his suitcase, "I must get going now, I'm sure you'll have a pleasant winter. Oh, I don't want to have to say this, but I really should. If you feel the need to go insane and kill yourselves like the last 4 keepers have, please do it in the kitchen, its much easier to clean the blood up there. Good day..."

And with that the man left, and our trio shared one more worried glance.


***SIX MONTHS LATER...


They are all dead...

...

... ...

... ... ...

... ... ... ...perhaps we should back up a little bit...


***FOUR MONTHS BEFORE THOSE SIX MONTHS (Two months from the start for those of you keeping score)...


"Hey look!" Ash said pointing out of a window, "Its starting to snow..."

"Cool!" Brock said.


"Yeah, its a good day to just chill." Ash replied.


"Yeah, that's always ice to do." Brock returned.

"Only if you have snowhere to go." Ash came back.


Brock was stuck, until Misty walked into the room, Brock quickly jumped on it, "Oh, Hail-o there Misty."

Ash didn't bat an eye and explained to Misty, "Don't mind Brock, we're in the middle of a pun war, and he's losing under my flurry of wit."

Misty sighed and said, "You two are a couple of flakes, you know that?"

That surprise pun actually stopped the war. "Well, the rooms are all cleaned." Misty said, "Brock, what's for dinner tonight?"

Brock surprisingly shouted out, "I'LL KILL YOU AND COOK YOU FOR DINNER!!!!"

Ash and Misty stepped back shocked.


Brock shook his head gently, "I mean... ... ... chicken nuggets tonight."

"Oh..." Ash said quietly, "Can you make your famous honey mustard sauce?"

Brock leaned in and quietly whispered, "I'll kill you slowly and show you your own guts."


Ash blinked once... then twice... then a third time, and then said, "So... does that mean that you WONT be making your famous honey mustard sauce?"

Brock wiped his mouth a few times, and then silently walked out of the room.


There was a moment of silence between Ash and Misty, till Misty said, "Hey Ash, Is it me, or is Brock acting a bit unusual?"

"How so?" Ash asked.


"Well, I haven't seen Togepi since Brock took it to see the sledgehammer collection." Misty explained, "And then we had those funny scrambled eggs later that day..."


"Yeah," Ash said remembering, "Now that you mentioned it, I haven't seen Cyndaquill, since Brock took him to see the lethal hypodermic needle collection... and THAT day we had that strange Mexican meal called Cyndachungas..."


"Yeah..." Misty said quietly, "...those were spicy."

There was a moment of silence, then Ash shook his head, "Nah, come on Mist, we're just being silly, paranoid even... I mean there's nothing weird going around this place at all, its just the cabin fever getting to us..."

Misty smiled, "Yeah, your probably right..., hey, you wanna come upstairs with me, and help me clean the mirrors on the third floor?"

"Sure!" Ash said taking off, "Race ya to the elevator!"

The two teens raced down the hallway, and Misty got there a half second before Ash, "HA!" She said, "I win!" And then pressed the button.


The doors open, and surprisingly a wave of red gloopy liquid came gushing out and flooded past Ash and Misty, up to their knees. "Oh my god." Misty breathed.


Ash shivered, "I don't believe it..."

Misty started to shake, and asked quietly, "What is it Ash? It's... its not what i think it is... is it?"

"Misty..." Ash said seriously, "I... I think its blood! Maybe human blood..."

Ash then dipped his finger in the liquid and then tasted it. Misty looked at him shocked, and Ash tasted it for a second and said, "Yep... definitely human... Jamaican I think..."

Ash dipped his finger in again and took another taste, "... ... ..., yep... Jamaican.," Then stuck his finger to Misty, and asked, "Want some?"

"NO!" Misty shouted and slapped his hand away, "There's something really wrong here... the blood here... Brock's slowly creeping madness, the voices in the middle of the night, the.. the... Ash... what are you doing?"

Ash started giggling and stared at his wiggling fingers through glazed over eyes, "You know Misty?" Ash said giggling, "I think whoever's blood this was, was doing some gooooooood shit!"

"ASH!!!" Misty said grabbing his shoulders, "Snap out of it!"

"Oh mannnn," Ash said stoned, "You always snap out of stuff... why cant you ever snap INTO stuff?"

"Ugh, Come on Ash!" Misty said dragging Ash off.


"Dudeeeeee, now i know how RVD feels all the time..." Ash said spaced out.


***MEANWHILE, BROCK IS ON FLOOR TWO...

Brock heads down the strangely eerie corridor muttering to himself. "It's been way to long since I've had a pretty girl to hit on..., why couldn't Ash have gotten a job taking care of a tropical paradise, maybe on an island not owned by a TV network. That way we couldn't get voted off. I BET Ash would try and kick me off... well, there's only one thing to do... kill him... kill them all! hehehehe, kill them all, Ash, Pikachu, Misty, Simon from that rigged TV show... they'll all pay..."


Brock stopped his rambling, when he saw room 666 was opened a crack. Brock thought it was weird... "Wait a minute..." Brock said, "Who could have left this room open... hey! Wait a minute! I'm on floor 2, someone must have switched signs from the 6th floor... HEY! Wait a minute... there IS no sixth floor."

Brock shook his head staring at the door, then opened it muttering, "Damn that Ash, creating rooms out of thin air to make more work for me to do..."

The hotel room seemed a bit steamy, and Brock could hear the water running. Curiously Brock walked into the bathroom, and he couldn't believe his eyes. There was a breathtakingly beautiful woman, lying naked in the half filled tub.

Brock looked at her, stared for a moment then yelled, "Woohoo!!!" and started to sing, "When you wish upon a star... doesn't matter who you are..."

Brock then lifted his head... it was weird, but somewhere... somehow, he could SWEAR he heard Disney Chairpeople laughing, and making "Ka-Ching!" sounds. "Damn royalties," Brock swore.


But as the woman stood up from the tub and took a few steps towards him, Brock forgot allllll about that.


The woman wrapped her arms around Brock, and the two kissed deeply. Brock shut his eyes. As she pulled away, Brock opened his eyes, and was surprised to see that this young woman was now an animated, decaying, wrinkling corpse. The grizzly woman just bared her teeth at him in a disgusting grin. Brock looked at her... paused a moment, then shrugged and said, "Meh, A piece of ass, is a piece of ass..." Then went back to kissing the phantom.

***LATER...


Misty walked into Ash's room. Ash wasn't around, but his laptop was running. She peered down at the screen and gasped at what she saw. Written on the screen was "All work and no play makes Ash a dull boy", over and over.


Misty backed away, her hand covering her mouth, "Oh my god... Ash has gone crazy too!" She whispered.


"No I haven't!" Ash said walking into the room startling Misty.

Ash picked up his laptop and tried Ctrl, Alt, Delete, but nothing happened, Ash explained, "My stupid Windows NT has locked up and just keeps copying that line... I think it has some type of online casino virus..." Ash fiddled with it a bit more, and with a "BAH" of frustration, he closed it up.

Mockingly and annoyed he said, "Dudeeee, I got a Dell!... ...piece of crap..."

Suddenly, the walls started to bleed. The blood spread around and spelled, "RED RUM"


Ash looked at the wall and sighed, "You know, those walls are NOT scotch guarded, that's going to be a bitch to get out...

"Wait a minute," Misty said, "Red Rum? That's MURDER spelled backwards! Do you know what that means?"

"We have dyslexic ghosts?" Ash guessed. That earned him a slap upside his head.


"NO! It means that we're in real danger!" Misty warned, "And probably from Brock, I think he's snapped! I saw him sharpening an ax before!"

"Well, that's one of his jobs..." Ash started to say...


...but Misty interrupted saying, "He was sharpening it on his Onix!"


Ash face fell... "Oh..., but that doesn't mean that we can't cant sit down, and rationally talk to him about this..."

As if on cue, Brock sunk an ax through the door. He stuck his head into the hole and said crazily, "Herreeeeeee's Johnny!!!"

Everyone paused for a second, because they all thought, that somewhere, somehow, they heard Ed MacMahon laughing and going "Ka-Ching!"


The reality of the situation then sunk in and Ash and Misty sprinted out the other door. They could hear Brock swear and break down the rest of the door.


Brock clenched the ax closer to his body and grinned and said, "Wait til they get a load of me... hahahahaha!!!"


"Where DOES he get all those toys?" Ash wondered.


"Never mind that Ash," Misty said, "Its Chinatown..."

And somewhere... somehow, they could all hear Jack Nicolson laughing and going "Ka-fbleeping-Ching!"


Ash and Misty ran as fast as they could, right into the main hall, and were shocked at what they saw. In the room, there were all sorts of specters, ghouls, ghosts, and skeletons... (skeletons or super models... who can tell the different these days?)


"Oh my god!" Misty screamed, "It's a party of the undead!"


Ash studied the room, and said, "Nah, cant be, Dick Clark's not here..."

"Yea, tell me about it," Misty said, "What's the deal with him, why doesn't he age?"

"Pact with Satan" Ash explained, "Eternal life in exchange for Bloopers... that's why he's always saying that he'll do ANYTHING for those little gems..."

"Oh." Misty said, "Makes sense..."

Suddenly the room's door burst open and in strode Brock, the dangerous ax slung on his shoulder.

"Come take your medicine children," he said wiping his lips.


"Alright then," Ash said reaching for a pokeball, "I didn't want to hurt you Brock, but you leave me little choice,"


In a flash, Ash called out his Bayleaf, who was joined by Pikachu. "Alright," Ash commanded, "Bayleaf, try to restrain Brock with vine whip!"

"BAY!" The pokemon cried out as it whipped out two long vines, which were then quickly chopped by Brock, who then leaped forward and buried the ax deep in the skull of the pokemon. Ash, Misty and Pikachu stared at the bloody mess.


Pikachu shook its head and said, "Oh fbleepk, this!" and left.


Misty and Ash looked at each other. Misty said, "I suggest we keep running..."

"Good plan!" Ash agreed and took off, Brock's ax missing him by inches.


***THREE JOKES THAT YOU MISSED OUT ON AND TEN MINUTES LATER...


Ash and Misty had made it back to the main room, both were out of breath, "Oh man," Ash said breathing hard, "I think we lost him..."

"Wonderful!" Misty said sarcastically, "We just have to avoid him for 2 more months... should be easy to hide in this hell's party" Misty spread her arm out, pointing out that the undead party was still going on.


"You think they have chips?" Ash said looking. That earned Ash a slap upside his head.


"Well," Ash said trying to be cheerful, "It cant possibly get any worse!"

ON CUE... ????: "PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!"


????: "YES! and make it double!"

"To protect the world from... what the HELL is THAT???" she shrieked as Jessie just noticed the evil party of hell going on in the room.


The evil trio stared at the party, then looked at the dead Bayleaf, then at the disheveled twerps. There's a moment of silence between them.


Then James said backing away, "Well... we can see your busy... we'll just come back another time..."

"Good luck with... well... surviving." Meowth said, backing away.


They didn't get far, since Brock appeared from behind a corner and sunk the ax deep in James's back. Then gave Jessie's a taste, then proved that there is more then one way to skin a Meowth, but the effect is pretty much the same.


The dying trio laid there, and moaned out, "Looks like Team Rocket is dying off again..."

Ash looked at the dead villains and said to Misty, "You know... I don't know HOW I'm suppose to feel about this..."

Brock crept in closer to Ash and Misty. "Come here children... its time to take your medicine..."


Ash stopped backing away and said, "You know... this seems awfully familiar..."

Misty looked at Ash curiously.


"No really," Ash said, "I could swear I've seen this before!" Ash thought deeply for a second, then snapped his finger, "Hey! I know, this is just like that book by Stephen King! Oh but look at this, its all messed up..."

Brock stopped in his tracks, "What do mean? Messed up?"

"Well for one..." Ash said pointed at Brock's Ax, "YOU'RE suppose to have a large mallet, NOT an ax..."

Brock just looked at his weapon. "And..., there's the matter of me not having psychic powers...", Ash said, "I really should have been given psychic powers... oh man..., that would have been sweet!"


Brock tapped his foot, "Alright Mr. picky, is there anything else that is wrong?"

"Well," Ash said trying to remember, "There's something about a furnace..."

"A furnace?" Brock and Misty asked together.


We then pan to the outside of the hotel, just in time to see the entire building burst into a huge fire ball with a loud "BOOOOOOOOM!!!!"



*************


Ash quickly sat up from bed, "Oh my gosh!" he gasp, "What a horrible dream i had..."

"Easy there, Ash" Misty said, sitting up from her own bed, "It was just a dream... we're all safe... Hey... by the way, did you check the furnace?"

"The furnace?" Ash asked.


****BOOOOOMMMMM!!!!******


Ash snapped up from the couch, his forehead dripping, "Oh my gosh!!!!" Ash screamed, "That was intense... what a dream!"

"Hey," Misty said, "Look who's awake!"

"Good to see ya Ash!" Brock said, putting in a video tape in, "Your just in time to watch this movie we rented.


"Cool!" Ash said, "Whatcha rent?"


"Oh..." Brock said grinning evilly, "Just the newest Shaq movie... its a buddy picture where he teams up with Andy Dick as homosexual rent-a-cops in Harvard."

Brock pressed the PLAY button. Ash screamed, "Noooooooooo!"
*******BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!******** (Don't ask me why that blew up...)



***SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY...


"...and that's how we all died." Ash said proudly finishing his recollection.


Misty and Brock just stared at Ash open mouthed. "That was the..., I mean, the stupidest..., i mean, not a lick of sense." Brock said, trying to talk, even though he'd be stricken speechless.


"Augh" Misty said annoyed, "Not ONLY did that not make sense... BUT you wasted the whole episode on it..."

"Well," Ash said, "Well, I guess i didn't just know Jack!"

Ash grinned and we...


IRIS OUT...


"Wait a sec..." Misty says from the darkness...

IRIS BACK IN...


"I don't get the close out joke." Misty says.


"Jack was the name of the character from the Shining." Ash explained.


"Oh." Misty said.


IRIS BACK OUT...


THE END


"I cant believe you wasted the whole episode on that stupid story!" Misty complained, "We had such a good plot lined up!"

"Yeah!" Brock said, "We were going to teach them the ancient Japanese secret of eternal happiness!"

"Meh," Ash said, "Maybe next time, hey, wanna get a bite to eat?"

"Sure!" Misty and Brock replied, Brock then said, "Hey, should we ask if Jessie, James and Meowth want to come too?"

Misty looked over at the corpses of Team Rocket, "Umm... Brock..." She asked, "You DID use a prop ax, right?"

"A prop what-now?" Brock asked confused.



"Uh oh..."


THE REAL END

Whew! That was a long one! I hope everyone enjoyed, cause I really enjoyed writing it! Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I reallllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy would appreciate it if you would review it. Well, i guess its time to wrap this up... guess I should save this fanfic to Windows... uh oh... error... oh no!!!