Dear Reader,
I apologize for the inconvenience. Band Geek Letter 1 finally discovered that I was using her account in order to make the truth known. Luckily I subdued her with my powers of hypnosis. She believes she's hallucinating. So, now that the problem has been taken care of I can present the next chapter.
Sincerely,
THE BOOK
Petticoats and Roses
By THE BOOK
Part the Eleventh
Beastboy's Genius Makes an Appearance
"I don't like that Joshua guy," Cyborg remarked as Beastboy shut THE BOOK and dropped it on the coffee table. "He gives me the heebie-jeebies."
"Friend Raven does not seem fond of him either," Starfire commented. "On my planet, he would be called a glafnorgon."
Beastboy sent Cyborg a perplexed look. Cyborg shrugged.
Beastboy shook his head, adding, "I think he's just a creeper."
For a moment, no one spoke. Absolutely nothing was wrong. Cyborg half-expected an alarm to go off or some building to catch fire, but Jump City remained blessedly quiet. They all stared at each other.
"So…" Cyborg rocked back and forth on his heels. "What do we do now?"
Without warning, Beastboy leaped from the sofa in a frenzy.
"What is it, Friend Beastboy?"
"I can't believe I didn't think of this before!" Beastboy exclaimed as he dashed down the hallway.
"Didn't think of what?" Cyborg wondered aloud while he rushed after him. Starfire followed; soon, all three Titans stood in front of Raven's door.
"Beastboy, what are you up to?" Cyborg asked, backing away from the door, which gave off a menacing vibe.
"Stand back!" Beastboy shouted. Starfire and Cyborg glanced at each other and stepped aside as Beastboy morphed into a gorilla and crushed the metal door with his large and hairy hands. In a flash, he transformed back into his usual self and leaped over the crumpled door.
He made a beeline for the violet trunk at the foot of Raven's bed.
Rummaging through Raven's various purple effects, he yelled, "Where is it?"
"Friend Beastboy, where is what?" Starfire asked, peering over his shoulder into the seemingly endless void of purple objects.
"The mirror!" he answered, flinging a lavender book into the air.
"You're a genius, man," Cyborg patted him on the back. He sunk to the floor to aid in the search.
"What's so important about this mirror?" Starfire asked, dodging a purple chalice as it soared through the air.
"It's a connection to Raven's mind," Cyborg explained, throwing a royal purple dragon onto the floor, which by now was covered a myriad of trinkets.
"Oh," Starfire said. "I will look too." She immediately turned to the bureau, as most smart people would look there first. (Beastboy and Cyborg had gotten distracted at this point. Beastboy had found Raven's diary and was game for reading it, while Cyborg liked to respect people's privacy.) Starfire's gaze alighted on a gilded hand mirror, long-stemmed and elegant, protected by two seraphs.
"Is this it?" Starfire asked the other Titans. They immediately ceased quarreling and ran to her side.
"Well," Beastboy scratched his head. "It is a mirror, but I don't remember it looking quite so… cheerful." When he grabbed the mirror by the handle, the glass rippled. A large, glowing, ivory hand burst out of the mirror, snatching the Titans off the floor to pull them into the mirror.
With a loud thud, the Titans landed on a platform in the midst of a vacuum of space. Emerald grass covered the entire platform, save for a yellow brick road that meandered down the center, leading to a rainbow.
"This is definitely not how I remember it," Beastboy commented, scratching his head. He took a tentative step onto the road. When nothing happened, he motioned for Cyborg and Starfire to follow.
All of a sudden, a blur of pink tackled them in a giant hug.
"Beastboy, Cyborg, and Starfire! I'm so glad to see you!"
"Hi Joy," Beastboy greeted the Raven that was not Raven. "Listen, we need to talk to Raven. Do you know where we can find her?"
Joy clapped her hands together.
"Of course, silly! Follow me!" she skipped down the yellow brick road.
"Why is Friend Raven in pink?" Starfire whispered to Cyborg.
"That's Joy," Cyborg answered as he started after Joy. "She's a manifestation of one of Raven's emotions." Beastboy and Starfire followed Cyborg's lead. Joy zoomed down the path, smiling and waving to the wildflowers on the side of the road. Eventually, they arrived at the end of the rainbow.
"Come along, friends!" Joy sang as she hopped through the arch.
Cyborg shrugged and followed.
An endless sea of bluebells, marigolds, and buttercups stretched out in front of them in all directions. The yellow brick road extended through the center of the meadow until it reached an imposing stone building on the horizon. Joy hummed as she lead them onward.
"Joy," Starfire called out, pausing to pick a flower from the side of the road. "What is this place? I do not recall ever coming across such a place during my visit to Earth."
"Of course not," Joy responded. "You're inside Raven's mind. Each door leads to a new emotion. This meadow is my home. I just love flowers!" She took off at full speed and waited for her followers at the next door.
They arrived several minutes later, panting and quite out of breath.
Sweat beaded on Cyborg's forehead. "You know," Cyborg's tongue lolled out as he panted, "We really should work out more."
"I concur," Starfire added as she rested her hands on her thighs. "Without Friend Robin here, there is no one to obsessively remind us about our training."
"Gurgle," was Beastboy's reply.
"Come on you guys!" Joy shouted, jumping up the stone steps past the marble lions guarding the door, to thrust it open with the energy of a five-year-old. The tired team tagged along reluctantly.
The massive stone building had seemed large enough on the outside, but inside was a different story. Infinite rows of bookshelves lined with a multitude of tomes on various subjects surrounded them. The Titans gazed up in awe, past the second level of shelves, at the intricate plasterwork on the ceiling. A solitary desk sat in the center of the library, under the domed ceiling. Sharpened pencils in clean lines rested on the desk next to a perfectly aligned set of Newton Balls.
A bespectacled Raven in a matching yellow cap and gown sat at the desk, flipping the pages of a book every few seconds.
"Hello Intelligence!" Joy trilled, slamming her hands on the table (in a cheerful way, of course).
"Eep!" Intelligence screamed. Her book made an unexpected journey into the air and landed with a heavy thump on her desk. "How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me, especially when I am reading a riveting mystery!"
"I'm sorry," Joy pouted, "but some friends of Raven have come to visit her, and I wanted to make sure I was going the right way. Is she still with Faith?"
"Yes." Intelligence pushed her glasses up her nose as she examined the three Titans. "Just keep on straight ahead."
"Aren't you coming with us?" Joy asked.
"No," Intelligence answered. "First, I have to finish The Hound of the Baskervilles. It's so frightening that I might need to call Terror. And then several conundrums need solving. I wish you luck!" Intelligence waved goodbye and then buried herself in the adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Joy bounded down a yellow carpet to another set of double doors. The Titans took their time in following, peering at all the odd titles in Raven's vast library.
"Hurry up!" Joy tapped her foot.
Intelligence shushed her without looking up from her book.
When Starfire, Beastboy, and Cyborg caught up with Joy, they walked through the door together.
Beyond the door, the yellow brick road continued off into the dark. A full moon hung over the grassy earth, reflecting in the shimmering lake. Twinkling stars dotted across the sky. In the distance, a single willow tree wept over the glassy lake. Underneath the gloomy leaves stood a white wrought iron table with two matching chairs.
Joy zoomed down the path, giggling. As the group approached the tree, they could make out a lone figure leaning against the trunk. Soon the soft murmuring of poetry floated to their ears on a light breeze.
"Things base and vile, holding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity.
Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind;
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."
"Hello, Love!" Joy greeted ecstatically. Love, in soft lavender, had tears in her eyes. "She's new," Cyborg whispered to Beastboy.
"What is Love?" Love moaned. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
"Is she always like this?" Beastboy asked, scratching his ears.
"Of course, silly!" Joy answered matter-of-factly. "She speaks in poetry." She turned back to Love to continue. "These friends came to see Raven."
"These three I know, that much is true," Love responded.
"How do you know us?" Starfire wondered.
"How dost I know thee? Thou art among the faces in The Book of Love." She reached into the folds of her cape and pulled out a lavender volume. She flipped the pages. Photographs of her closest friends covered each page, except for the last one, which was blank.
"Why's the last page blank?" Cyborg asked, ignoring Joy's frantic gestures. Love burst into tears. Joy smacked her forehead.
"Alack! Alas," Love lamented. "Raven has not yet discovered her true love, though he be right in front of her. And thus, I bemoan myself."
"Shh," Starfire comforted Love. "Friend Raven is still young. There is time." Love wiped away her tears.
"Well," Joy concluded. "We'd best be on our way. Goodbye!" She waved, steering the Titans out the gate.
"I wish thee well on thy quest! Farewell!" Love shouted as the trio pursued Joy up a hill. While they crested the hill, they heard Love begin to recite "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" and soon the recitation dwindled until it could be heard no more.
At the foot of the hill was a large iron fence with a single gate. A name, printed in dark letters above the entrance, seemed almost invisible against the night sky. Only the light of the stars lit the garden. Joy put her finger to her lip and unlocked the gate, wincing as it creaked when it swung open. She crept inside toward a grove of olive trees. Two Ravens's knelt on the grass, side-by-side, hands folded. One Raven was arrayed in shining gold, while the other dazzled in pure white.
Cyborg stepped on a particularly crunchy leaf.
Both girls stood and turned around. The Raven in white squealed in delight.
"Starfire! Cyborg! Beastboy!" She cried, enveloping the group in a massive hug.
"Raven, why is your voice all British-like?" Cyborg asked once Raven released her friends.
"I am not entirely sure, but I do believe it is a side effect from being in THE BOOK. How did you get here?"
"Friend Beastboy has been reading to us every day from the magical book, and today he had the most brilliant idea!" Starfire praised her comrade. Beastboy looked at the ground bashfully.
"Yeah!" Cyborg agreed. "We came through your mirror."
"Though I am quite scared to think the Beastboy was the one to create the plan, I must admit that I missed you all terribly." She squeezed Starfire's hand.
"Yeah, we missed you too," Cyborg grinned. "It's been crazy without y'all here. A SWAT team arrested THE BOOK, and I had to fly all the way to the Library of Congress to get it back."
"Oh," Raven commented. "That's quite … odd. Have you made contact with Robin?"
"No," Beastboy replied. "Unfortunately, he does not have a convenient portal to his mind like you. If you see him, tell him we said hi."
"I will," Raven promised.
Without warning, the ground shook beneath them. Cyborg held onto a tree for support.
"Rachel!" A loud voice boomed.
"I have to go!" Raven jumped back. "That'll be cousin Edmund getting me for the ball!" She disappeared in a puff of smoke. An empty space remained in her place.
"Aw man!" Beastboy threw up his hands. "I was gonna ask her to say 'Oh stuff and bother,' with a British accent!"
Cyborg glared at Beastboy. "Not helping."
"It has been a most exciting experience!" Starfire clasped her hands. "It is my first trip to someone else's mind."
"Now…" Cyborg asked, peering beyond the grove into the darkness. "How do we get out?"
