"Just once Audrey, I want to put effort into a guy that won't blow up."

"Well Nikki, as far as I can tell, you have only put in effort to two guys. So you can't go predicting this is gonna be the pattern for the rest of your life."

"Why not? I met some guy at a club, thought I loved him, and it turns out he was fucking more women than fingers I have to count with. Then, I meet a guy who just wants to write an erotic story, and he completely and mentally shuts down over the course of a day or two."

"I hate the first guy just as much as you do, but I'm thinking you gotta give Dean another chance here. Let him recuperate."

"Why? Just to let him-"

"For once, stop making up some bullshit story before you even give something a shot."

"I did give Dean a shot Audrey! He was fun to talk to, he had great ideas, hell I even used my naked body to teach him a valuable life lesson! And he just decides to break things off with his best friend, using his editor's fiancé as an excuse! Now what part of any of that deems him worthy of another shot?"

"The part where there were three positives against one negative. You like math right? The math is right there for you."

"This isn't helping."

"Well, think of it this way. Dean's stress caught up to him, and it exploded. Hey, it happens to all of us. It happens differently from person to person, but it happens nonetheless. But then look at you. A single tip turned you from a gamer to a stripper. I thinks that's on par with Dean's episode."

"Well at least my living was on the line. All this guy was worried about was some dumb story."

"You know that isn't true Nikki."

"What are you talking about? Of course it is."

"I talked to Axel's fiancé. The only reason Dean was stressed out was because he was thinking about you."

"So you're blaming me for his mental breakdown?"

"Fuck off Nikki! God damn, just let someone finish for once before you turn it into a sob story! Why of all times do you pick this age to be a fucking attention whore!?"

"Sorry."

"Yeah, 'sorry'. Nikki, if you don't want me to help you, hang up right now. But considering you were the one that called me, something tells me you won't until we resolve this. So stop being a bitch, and listen."

"Alright, geez."

"Look, Axel's fiancé is a great psychologist. She told Dean writers are amongst the most miserable people she ever met. If you were told that, wouldn't you feel the slightest bit worried?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"So she told him, it might be good for him to try to get something to keep him happy and motivated. Considering the only other important thing in his life at this time is you, you can put two and two together. But as I'm sure Dean has probably told you, he hasn't had the most success when it comes to girls, whether or not that bothers him."

"So how does this lead to him flipping out?"

"Look, he didn't flip out. Stop saying it like that. But nonetheless, he got so worried about fucking things up with you. He loved the friendship you guys had, he loved the cooperation. But then, out of the blue, someone very intelligent tells him if he doesn't court you, he will be lonely and miserable the rest of his life. Starting to understand now?"

"Wow, I really have been an asshole."

"But Dean didn't know how to court you without ruining what you guys already had. So he panicked, got stressed out, and that caused him to take a little bit out of it on his friend. Who apparently had his own stress building up for even longer. And that is what happened at the diner Nikki."

"I really wish I just listened earlier. God, I bet Dean never wants to talk to me again now."

"Well Nikki, do you want him to?"

"What?"

"Do you want Dean to talk to you? Now that you understand the situation, do you wanna give him another shot?"

"I mean, I can't say yes or no to that question."

"And why's that?"

"It just isn't that simple. It's not like I ever gave Dean a theoretical 'shot' in the first place. We were just strangers talking about a story, who became friends. But as it turns out, we both kind of had feelings for the other."

"Boom, got'cha!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I just got you to confess you have feelings for Dean!"

"That wasn't obvious?"

"Umm….no! Nikki, the only thing you ever make obvious is that you hate most people."

"It's a gift, really."

"What made you think it was obvious?"

"Did you not hear about the whole 'Look at Me' thing?"

"Oh yeah, the life lesson thing. I didn't think anything of it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Bitch, you're a stripper. A guy seeing you naked doesn't mean anything special."

"Well what if I said I let Dean see me naked without having to pay for it?"

"That does help, yes. So what caused the whole lesson in the first place? I don't get every detail from Axel's end."

"Dean saw me as a friend, so he wasn't too keen on seeing me work. But from what he told me, he accidentally caught a glimpse of one of my shows, and that scared him away for a bit. But he eventually confessed what happened, and how he felt about the whole stripping thing."

"I don't appreciate the paraphrasing, but I think this is the juicy part."

"It is, don't you worry. Well, during the couple days he was away, I felt kind of lonely. I was looking forward to our daily chats, but when he stopped showing up, I guess I got stressed out myself. Part of it was self-loathing. I was missing a guy who was just some words and a randomly generated username, so I felt I was being dumb. But then, I thought maybe he was sick of me, so I started thinking I wasn't even good enough for a username and words. But then he came back, and told me what happened. When he said he didn't want to see me naked, it must have triggered something. I guess I was tired of the loathing and the stress. I realized I'm not gonna let someone who I barely know think of me only a certain way."

"So you snapped, and took your clothes off."

"Pretty much. I wanted this persona on the screen to really know me and understand me, not just see me as some sweet little girl he can talk to. I wanted him to realize I am a woman, I am a stripper, but with or without clothes I am still Nikki, the same person he has been talking to this whole time."

"Girl, where is your Oscar?"

"I don't know, but I guess I stress made me snap just like Dean did. I may have been too harsh on him."

"That a girl. Proud of you Nikki."

"Thanks Audrey. Well hey, this whole thing has been about me. What about you? How's modelling in Britain going?"

"Well, they drink more tea than booze. That was quite the shocker to me. But besides the stereotypes, it's been awesome. The modeling makes me a lot of money, and makes me feel pretty at the same time."

"Well how's it going on your end with guys?"

"Nah. Haven't had the time to really think about them. I wake up, take my half hour shower, take my time getting ready, shoot some pictures, and then when I get home I take my pants off, wear a t-shirt that is too big, and just eat chips and watch Netflix for the rest of the day."

"Man, you are living the dream. But won't the constant chip eating get you in some trouble with the modeling company?"

"Oh it's no big deal. I just throw up everything after I'm done eating."

"Audrey!"

"Got'cha again!"

"Dude, that is not funny."

"Come on, I needed some humor in this conversation."

"Well I'm glad you got it. Oh, you're staying off the drugs right?"

"Haven't touched the stuff in a long time Nikki. I stopped way before I even left for this place."

"Good, good."

"Heroin doesn't count though, right? Especially if you snort it?"

"Nice try Uma Therman."

"I tell ya man, it feels like everybody is referencing Pulp Fiction as of late."

"Well considering you do nothing but Netflix all day, I'm surprised you haven't referenced other Tarantino movies yet."

"What does Dean look like?"

"What?"

"Say 'what' again mother fucker, I dare ya! I double dare ya!"

"Still Pulp Fiction."

"Will you give me oral pleasure?"

"Are you sure you're off drugs Audrey?"

"Come on, cut me some slack. This story used to be very sarcastic and entertaining. In fact, I think it was supposed to very light hearted. But then everyone had to get involved, and instead of laughs we are getting redundant and inconsistent drama, and needing excuses to even continue to tell the story. So yeah, might as well throw some Pulp Fiction in there to lighten the mood."

"What the fu…Audrey who are you talking to?"

"The audience."

"Fucking…the who?"

"Nothing. Nothing."

"Maybe it's tea time for you or something, because holy hell you are acting weird right now."

"My bad Nikki. I should get going though, my ear is starting to hurt."

"Alright, will do."

"Call me more often. These are fun."

"You know, you can always call me."

"Well I don't wanna bother you when your crotch is vibrating. Nikki? Ni- hello? Nikki? Oh, she hung up. Welp, tea time it is then."