Alright guys, so sorry for any mistakes because it's 3 am right now and I can't sleep so I decided to finish this chapter! I'm really tired right now so yeah…Most of this chapter is a flashback and again I was up til 3 am writing this so sorry if it sucks…Anyways I'm gonna go now and let you read it…bye!
~90sbaby112
"This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you'll spend alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,
I'm everything you need me to be." ~The Last Night (Skillet)
Chapter ten:
*Sollux's POV*
Goddamn it! I blew it didn't I?! Yeah I blew it! Damn it! Why the fuck did I have to say those things to her?! FUCK!
I kept repeating those things over and over in my head as I drove home from Aradia's house. I was a mess and to be honest, I was in no condition for driving, but there I was doing stupid thing after stupid thing. I sighed heavily and tried to keep my eyes on the road even though it wasn't really helping any. My hands kept swerving the wheel from side to side…Goddamn, I really needed sleep.
When I arrived at my house, I blasted through the door and made it slam so hard that it sounded like thunder had cracked. My brother Mituna looked up from the TV and raised his eyebrows in befuddlement.
"What the hell's wrong with you?"
Ugh! I was so mad that even he asking what was wrong drove me nuts!
"Where'th mom?" I demanded.
"Out."
"Out where?!" I demanded.
He raised his eyebrows even more. "I don't know she went to get milk or something."
I groaned again and ran my fingers through my resentfully.
"Kay, when she cometh back tell her that I need to talk to her! And don't bother me alright!"
He shrugged and went back to whatever shitty TV show he was watching.
I ran upstairs and slammed my bedroom door so hard that the walls shook.
I sat on my bed in a distressed position.
"Goddamn it Aradia…" I whispered. "You shouldn't make me feel thith way… We broke up…Tho why do I feel like thith?"
I got up and started pacing back and forth going through everything I had said to her… I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned as I remembered the look of hurt and anger in her eyes…Mostly hurt though, hurt that I caused…Fuck.
But, AA knows that I'm slightly bipolar…Yeah she knows that, she knows that I didn't mean everything I said to her right? Yeah, she won't take any of the shit I told her to heart…
I groaned again. Who the fuck was I kidding? Aradia had anxiety and depression of course she was going to take everything I said to her to heart!
I couldn't take it anymore, I felt like my head was about to explode. I turned on my stereo and plugged in my iPod. I opened my closet as the crude sound of Mindless Self Indulgence blasted through the speakers. Yeah, they're a really messed up band but they were my favourite what can I say?
I rummaged through the mess in my closet until I came to a wooden box with a small silver lock on it. I smiled slightly and took the box out of my closet. I set it on my desk and dug through the bottom drawer of my dresser until I found the key. I sat down on my old office chair and stared at the box for a while. I sighed heavily and studied the box carefully.
On the lid is said:
TO: SOLLUX CAPTOR
FROM: ARADIA MEGIDO
MERRY CHRISTMAS SOLLUX!
DECEMBER 2008
Grade eight IA class. We were all assigned to make wooden boxes and it was close to Christmas. The boys and girls had split IA classes and I made Aradia a box just like mine. I painted the letters yellow and black and she painted hers red and black. When we both opened our presents we were surprised to see that we had gotten each other basically the same present but, it made our friendship grow more. We decide to call it our memory box and put memories of our friendship inside it…I hadn't opened mine in a year.
I frowned but then smiled as I remembered all the things I had stored inside it. I took the key and opened the lock. I gently removed the small lock and opened the lid.
Oh gosh, there was still three year old chocolate bars in there. I took in the contents in the box and took out a small little photo albums. I smiled as I pulled it out.
I set the box aside and began looking through the album.
There were pictures that I didn't even remember ever being taken! Like one where we're both naked in a kiddie pool! We looked like we were about three years old in the picture.
I kept flipping through the pages smirking occasionally at the funny pictures when suddenly, my eyes stopped at a certain picture.
I couldn't take my eyes off it, it was as if they were glued onto that stupid picture…Well, the picture itself wasn't stupid but I promised myself that I would never look at it but I didn't have the heart to throw it away! Maybe that's why the box had been left unopened for a long time…
In the picture I'm sitting on the edge of Aradia's hospital bed. Aradia is sitting up wearing a white hospital gown thing. I'm running my fingers through her long wavy hair as she looks at me with relieved but sorry eyes, she smiling weakly at me and I'm doing the same. She's holding a zombie teddy bear in her hands and we look so relieved…As if we had gone throw something horrible and were lucky to have made it out alive… But something like that did happen…
*Flashback*
The bright red neon colours on my alarm clock read 12:30 am. I was up late on my computer gaming out with Karkat. When my cell phone started ringing
TA: hold on a 2ec kk my phone iis riingiing
CG: YEAH WHATEVER I'LL BE RIGHT HERE
I picked up my phone and pressed the talk button.
"Hello?"
"Sollux! Sollux you need to get down here quick!" Damara's petrified voice called from the other end.
I felt alarmed and confused all at the same time. "What? What'th going on?"
I heard sniffling on the other end.
That's when I panic struck me.
"Wait, Damara you're crying…You never cry what'th going on where'th AA?!" I clutched onto the phone as I waited for the answer.
"S-Sollux…" Her voice cracked. "Sollux get down to the hospital right now!"
I jumped up from my chair. "What'th going on Damara ith she okay?!"
I heard more sniffling and then she started sobbing. "Sh-She…"
"She what?!"
"Just please come…" She whispered in a shaky voice before she hung up.
I stood there, feet glued to the floor for about ten seconds before grabbing my jacket and running out the door.
I was fifteen at the time and had no means of getting there and there was no way I was waking up my mom or my brother.
Plus, I wasn't even thinking. I ran out the door, grabbed my bike, and started peddling with all my might to the hospital. When I got there, I threw my bike on the sidewalk and ran in.
I ran up to the receptionist and practically demanded to see Aradia.
"I need to thee Aradia Megido right now!" I shouted.
She gave me an astonished look. "Excuse me?"
"I need to thee Aradia Megido!" I repeated as my whole body shook.
She frowned and shook her head. "I'm sorry but I can't-"
"Sollux?" I turned and saw Damara standing there with a maroon coloured skirt, black tights, red converse, and an oversized red jacket. She had the same messy bun in her hair held on by chopsticks but she had no makeup on. Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked like she had been through hell.
"D-Damara?" I stuttered.
She suddenly started crying and ran up to me. She hugged me, she reeked of smoke.
I was surprised but hugged her back. After a few minutes she let me go and turned to the receptionist.
"It's okay he's with me."
The receptionist frowned but nodded understandingly.
Damara put her arm around my shoulder and led me to an elevator.
Once we were inside I turned to her and said:
"Damara you have to tell me what'th going on! You have no idea how worried and anxiouth I am right now! Where'th AA?!"
Damara balled her hands into fists and squeezed her eyes shut.
"Suicide." Was the only thing that came out of her mouth.
My eyes widen and I started to shake my head rapidly.
"No. No. No no no no NO! NO! Damara tell me it ithn't true! Tell me AA ith thtill alive!"
Her eyes flew open and she turned to me.
"As far as I know she's still alive."
I sighed in relief.
She took a deep breath. "I got her to the hospital just in time…At least that's what the doctors keep saying but they haven't told me anything else so I have no fucking idea what's going on with my little sister!"
The elevator doors opened and Damara rushed to get out. I followed her down the hall until we stopped in a small waiting room.
I stared at Damara until I was finally able to make words come out of my mouth.
My eyes were stinging in my eyes and it was taking everything in me to keep myself together.
"W-what happened?" Was the only thing I managed to get out.
Damara shook her head and cleared her throat. She then looked back at me.
She opened her mouth but then closed it again. She cleared her throat again and then sat down in a chair she motioned for me to sit beside her.
I hesitated but then I sat beside her. She turned to me and smirked humourlessly.
"I'm amazed at how calm you are."
I shook my head. "I wanna tear thith plathe apart actually…I might if you don't tell me what happened."
She sighed. "I was in my room. I was just lying on my bed smoking when I heard a loud thud in the washroom… I usually ignore noises but I had a strong feeling that I needed to get up and check out what it was. So I did, and when I walked in I saw-" I saw her eyes water again and she took a deep breath. "S-sorry…I saw- I saw…" She didn't try to stop her tears. "I saw Aradia lying on the ground with an empty bottle of sleeping pills in her hand…The bottle was practically full of pills…she-she overdosed…" She started crying and even I didn't try to stop my tears from pouring out of my eyes. I stood up and started pacing back and forth while angrily wiping the tears away.
"How long have you been here?" I demanded.
She wiped her tears and noise and then shrugged. "I don't know, almost three hours."
"And they haven't told you anything?!" I almost shouted.
She looked down and shook her head.
I put my hands on my hips. "Goddamn!"
"They only told me that she would be okay but that was a long time ago…they haven't said anything else."
I laughed humourlessly. "That she'th going to be okay?! That'th fucking it?!"
She nodded.
I felt rage boil in my veins.
"What room is she in?!"
"What? Why?"
"What room is she in?!" I shouted louder.
Damara looked astonished. "Uh, she's in the second last room down that hallway-"
I spun around and started marching down the hallway. She got up and ran toward me.
"What the fuck are you going to do Captor?!"
"Leave me alone I got thith!"
"Don't do anything stupid!"
"I'm not now leave me alone! If you didn't want me to do thith then you shouldn't have called me."
"I just thought since you were her best friend you would like to know…I didn't call any of her other friends but I know that if I didn't call you I wouldn't hear the end of it!"
I stopped and turned to her. I gave her a genuine smile. "Thankth for calling me but I need to go thee what'th going on with my betht friend."
"Sollux don't do anything stupid!"
"Leave me the fuck alone!" I practically growled.
When I reached the room to where Aradia was in I was about to bang on the door when suddenly, the door flew open to reveal an older doctor with a white coat.
He stopped abruptly when he saw me and Damara standing right in front of the door with my fist raised high about to hit the door.
He cleared his throat and I quickly lowered my fist.
"Aradia Megido?" He asked.
We nodded.
He nodded and cleared his throat. "She's alright. She'll live; we managed to pump everything out of her stomach. Luckily the sleeping pills didn't take so much effect on her…" He sighed and then offered us a smile. "She'll be alright."
Damara and I both sighed in relief and actually managed to smile.
"She's going to need to stay here for a while though; we need to get her to see a psychiatrist… Also, I'm not sure if either of you are aware of the scars she has on her shoulders and arms."
Damara and I both froze.
He frowned and shook his head. "I guess you wouldn't… I am almost certain that that young lady has depression, it is crucial that we get her to a psychiatrist when she wakes up."
Damara and I were still frozen with our breaths caught in the back of our throats…We had no idea Aradia was feeling that way…
The doctor cleared his throat again.
"You can go see her if you'd like but, she's very much asleep and won't wake up for a while."
Suddenly, we both snapped out of it and nodded. The doctor gave us another small smile and walked away.
We both stood at the door way looking into the room where Aradia was sleeping. She looked peaceful lying there, her head resting on the pillow and her chest slowly rising and then falling. The heart rate monitor slowly beeped in the background and the room reeked with the smell of hand sanitizer.
Damara took a deep breath. "I wanna go in by myself first is that okay?"
Even though it was not okay with me and I wanted to push her out of the way to go see Aradia first, I didn't. I just nodded and said:
"Okay."
I let her walk into the room and close the door gently. I was left out there with a big frown on my face until I hatched an idea. I quickly ran to my house to grab my laptop, a blank CD and a black sharpie. I was thankful that my mom wasn't up but I wouldn't hear the end of it in the morning. Then, I ran back to the hospital and went to the gift shop where I managed to find the perfect gift for Aradia. A zombie teddy bear. I then ran back upstairs to the waiting room where I had been with Damara. I sat down on a chair and started burning songs onto the disk. When I was finished, I wrote something on the disk and snapped it out of my laptop. Just as I finished, Damara came out of the room, crying but relieved.
She walked up to me. "You can go in there once if you'd like?"
I nodded and stood up. "Yeah, I'd like that."
I grabbed the zombie teddy bear and the CD and walked to AA's room.
I shut the door behind me and practically tiptoed to the side of her bed.
I looked down at her sleeping body and felt sadness hit me like a ton of bricks.
I still smiled though.
"Hey AA." I said as I placed the CD and teddy bear on a small table beside her.
I very gently sat on the edge of her bed.
My eyes started stinging again.
"Uh…gosh wow I didn't think it'd be thith hard."
I took a shaky breath in and then let it out.
I looked at her…She looked so peaceful…beautiful… How the fuck did I let that happen?
I didn't try to hold it in any longer. I grabbed her hand and started sobbing. I cried for what seemed like forever.
"AA I-I'm tho thorry!" I sobbed and shook my head. "I don't know why you feel thith way but it'th probably my fault…I wathn't a good friend I'm thorry!"
I wiped more tears away but more kept coming. My vision was becoming blurring but I started to ignore it.
I shook my head. "I don't know why you feel thith way but I'll help you get through it…I'll be a better friend, I won't leave you alone..I'll do whatever tho you don't feel thith way ever again! But pleathe, pleathe, pleathe don't leave me…"
I sat there longer and just cried and ran my fingers through her hair and caressed her face and just cried. Cried for a long time…I didn't stop until I heard a soft knock at the door. For the rest of the night I stayed in the waiting room with Damara neither one of us could get much sleep.
I had it bad the next they though. My mom somehow found out that I was at the hospital and came and started yelling at me. I didn't say anything to her though, I let her yell. To be honest I didn't care what my mom was saying at that time. My mind was on AA, she wanted me to go home but I refused, I told her I wasn't moving until AA woke up. After a long discussion she finally gave in but stayed at the hospital with me too.
Then, after about two hours or so, Aradia's parents showed up. Damara had called them in Africa right before she called me and they quickly got on a plane and made it back here. I was surprised to see that Aradia's other friends weren't there but Damara said she didn't want to call and worry them. She said that she wasn't even going to call me but felt like she had to…. I was really glad she did.
Then in the evening when we were all growing sick of the clean sanitized place, Aradia woke up and the first person she asked to see…Was me.
I was shocked along with everyone else (mostly her parents) but I didn't hesitate to run to the room she was in to see her, alive and well.
I ran in and saw her sitting up, holding the zombie teddy bear I got for her and kissing it's head.
I couldn't help but smile at the sight.
I cleared my throat and she looked up at me. She looked frightened and sorry but I gave her a small smile and sat down on the edge of her bed.
"How are you feeling?" I asked in a soft voice.
She nodded. "Good." Her voice was horse.
I grabbed her arm and turned it so that I could see her forearm. There were slashes all over it.
I looked up at her face. She was frowning and her eyes were watering up.
"Why didn't you tell anyone about thith" I whispered.
She shrugged and frowned even more. "I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems…"
"I'd rather deal with your problemth than have to deal with you being dead AA."
A tear started to slither down her cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb.
"Don't ever try to leave me again…Alright?"
She nodded. "Alright….Sollux I'm s-sorry-"
I stopped her. "Don't thay you're thorry…it'th not your fault and I don't blame you."
She watched as I grabbed her arm and gently kissed one of her scars. She blushed and started crying. I pulled her into a hug and kissed her head.
"It'th alright AA."
She buried her face into my chest and shook her head. "No it's not! I'm sorry!"
I started gently rubbing her back. "Don't feel bad AA, it'th all over, you're alive and I'm right here."
"I must've put you through hell!"
I chuckled. "Well I'd be lying if I said that you didn't."
She cried louder. I didn't say anything after that. I let her cry. Then, after what seemed like forever she stopped and we just started talking. Talking about random thing, talking as if nothing had ever happened. She soon became happy and so did I. Her mom was so surprised at how happy I made her that she brought her camera into the room and took a picture of us.
After all that had happened she got two of the picture developed. She gave one copy to me and one to Aradia but I didn't want it. It reminded me of that painful night, that night I thought that my best friend died…The night I thought I had lost her forever…but I didn't have the heart to throw it out…Because at the same time, even though I had liked her since I was nine years old, it was the night I realised that I was in love with her…
Alright that's it for now! I'll see you guys later!
~90sbaby112
