Hotch turned on a soft rock radio station and made a final lap of the apartment checking for stray toys, soccer cleats and case files. It was just dinner with Emily, he shouldn't have been so nervous about eating with her. They had already slept together. Multiple times. And it wasn't like they had never been alone together. But this was different. This was a date.
He asked to her to dinner yesterday at work. Well it was more of an incoherent mumble as he was trying to ask her about case files. He had a better plan but then she called him 'sir' in a tone that made it so he couldn't think straight. Thankfully Emily put it together. She had placed a note in a file for him. It was simple. Just 'Tomorrow. Seven. Your place.' He spent the rest of the day staring at it trying to make plans.
He was brought from his thoughts by the knock on the door. He smoothed down his button up and made his way to the door. Regardless of what his team thinks, he owns other clothes besides suits. It's just that his non work attire consists of t-shirts, pullovers and what Rossi loving refers to has his 'dad jeans.'
Hotch opened the door to Emily's smiling face and his mouth went dry. She was radiant even jeans and a simple sweater, her smile even bigger off duty. He wasn't sure how to greet her and went in for a hug just as Emily had stepped into apartment and shrugged off her jacket. Emily leaned in to kiss his cheek and he turned around to put jacket down, jabbing an elbow in her side.
"Oh Emily, I am so sorry," he placed a hand on her elbow and other on her shoulder to steady her. "Maybe we should stop moving for a minute. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. You just knocked the wind out of me for a second." She looked up at him carefully. "Can I give you a kiss now?" As he started to stutter she leaned in a place a quick peck on the cheek she was aiming for earlier. "Thank you for having me over. I brought wine." She held up a bottle of white and shook it slightly.
"This will go well with the Chinese I ordered." He turned towards the kitchen and called over his shoulder. "Please sit down. I'll just put this in the fridge. The food should be here in a few minutes."
"How did you know what I wanted?" Emily sat on one end of the couch, eyes browsing the bookshelf. Story books and westerns mixed with animated movies and picture frames. A quick glance around the room revealed four pictures of Haley.
"I'm a profiler," He said with a shrug walking towards the couch with two glasses of water.
"Wow, what a surprise, you are cheeky when not on duty," Emily smiled as she took a glass from him and pulled a leg under her and turned toward him.
"I do a lot of things that would surprise people," he replied nonchalantly.
"Like what?"
"You for one." He wasn't sure where this burst of confidence came from. But she had walked into that one. Normally he kept his humor under wrap at work. Portraying the big bad boss so they would trust his judgment in the field and he wouldn't be clouded by feelings for them.
Emily sat starting at him for a moment with her eyes wide. "If you meant that I compliment, which I will assume it is, then I think that was the smoothest thing you've ever said."
"Hey I was married for almost twenty years, I have some moves." He chuckled. Then froze with his mouth open. "Sorry I shouldn't have said that."
"Haley was a big part of your life. She still is and she always will be. You can talk about her." Emily moved a little closer and placed her hand over his that was sitting on the back of the couch. They sat gazing at each other for a moment, the silence starting to get uncomfortable. Just then the doorbell rang with their dinner.
"You still didn't tell me how you knew what to order."
"I file the expense reports and we eat together at least six meals a week. I know what you order. Or more accurately what you order then what you steal from Reid." He replied as he unpacked the bags on the coffee table.
"I like both and he never eats all of his anyway," Emily shrugged.
The spent the next twenty minutes eating, drinking, and chatting about the teams quirky little habits, like how JJ always takes the hotel soaps and Dave racks up room services charges from the mini bar. He told her some team stories from before her time. She particularly liked the one where they worked with the Indian reservation. The idea of someone screwing with Hotch was apparently hilarious. So hilarious in fact she started crying and hiccuping from laughing so hard.
"He actually called you Captain America? That is so spot on!" Emily's laughs were finally turning into giggles. He loved the way she laughed so openly. It was a full body activity for her.
"Ok, now that we got embarrassing me out of the way," Hotch drew out as Emily reigned in the giggler. "Let's talk."
"If we must," Emily sighed. "What are we doing here exactly Hotch?"
"I know I want more. But I want to take things slow, see where this goes. This is all new to me, dating as an adult, as a single dad."
After three days of watching Emily flirt with Rawson he knew he needed her back. He wasn't a normally a jealous man but he was always watchful over the women in his life. He knew Emily could fend for herself so he wasn't worried at all. It was the thought that he could lose her to someone else that spurred him to take action.
"Aren't we going in reverse of what most people do?"
"It is. But we aren't most people. I'm your boss." He paused and looked her over. "This could end badly. Not just for the team if we end up hating each other but our careers would be on the line."
"Didn't stop us from sleeping together," she shrugged. "And I'm pretty sure at some point in the last year and a half you hated me. Hell, you hated me when we started and we got passed it."
He really had been an ass to her more times that anyone should put up with.
"I didn't hate you, Emily. In the beginning I distrusted you. And more recently I was trying to protect you. I didn't want him to know about us, I was scared. I had just said goodbye to Jack and Haley for an undetermined amount of time. I didn't want you at risk too." He looked at her carefully. "After the way I treated you, do you still want to do this?"
"I didn't walk away from you then and I'm here now aren't I?" There was a slight iciness in her voice. He kept his eyes on her to encourage her to say what she was really thinking. "I knew from your words in the car that day. You would never really be that callous."
"Emily, let's make a deal. This is going to be difficult, we won't get a lot of time together, we can't tell anyone, at least until we know if there is something more here, and our job is stressful enough. Can we promise to be honest with each other about how we are feeling, no secrets?"
After all distrust and secrets is part of the reason his marriage fell apart. He tried to keep the darkness he saw at work from Haley and she saw it as him being distant. She was unhappy and didn't tell him until she couldn't take anymore.
"Deal."
"Ok," he let out a long breath, "some other general guidelines."
"Why do I feel like I'm about to sign a contract?" Hotch just ignored her and kept going down his mental checklist. He had thought a lot about the logistics of this in the last day.
"I don't think we can keep partnering in the field. I keep worrying about you and getting distracted."
"And you won't worry if I'm with Reid or Dave?" She had a point. They both were great at talking unsubs down and did well under pressure but if she was going to be protected from a physical threat Hotch or Morgan was a better choice.
"No, I will. But it's easier to compartmentalize when I can't see you. And now that I've allowed myself to have feelings for you I don't think I'll be able to hide it as well as I did before."
"Ok. What else?" Emily asked hesitantly.
"Obviously nothing in the office. We need to keep any personal issues separate from what we are doing in the field. And nothing around Jack. Everything with Haley is still so new to him. I don't want to confuse or upset him. Plus he could never keep a secret."
"So that limits us to when he is with Jessica or a friend?"
"Told you we would not get a lot of time together. I don't want to lie to Jessica about where I am just to be with you."
"It makes sense. Jack's your priority. I would never want to take you away from him. Let's just keep doing what we were before. Everyone seemed to appreciate the few hours in a hotel bed over trying to sleep on the plane." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Hotch, you thought I didn't notice?"
Normally, unless someone needed the hospital or it was going to take longer to get a confession, they left shortly after the arrest. But he had been delaying them when cases ended in the middle of the night. It was always followed by him showing up at Emily's door. He tried to justify it to himself by the fact that the rooms were already paid for. And besides JJ, no one had anyone to go home to anyway.
"That's another thing. When were alone you can call me Aaron."
"I know I can. I don't want to. It took me a long time to call you Hotch, I feel like I earned it. Plus," she hesitated, "I don't see you as 'Aaron the single dad' and 'Agent Hotchner badass Unit Chief'. You're just 'Hotch my secretly nerdy and oh so hot coworker'. I get that it's easier for you to separate 'Prentiss your subordinate' from 'Emily your'… what was it you called me that one time? Oh yeah. 'Emily your mistress' but…"
He leaned in and kissed her. It was short and gentle. He really did want to talk this out but her nervous rambling explanation was too adorable to resist. He had spent too long as people two different people. The idea that someone wanted all of him, the good and the bad, was overwhelming. He tried to lean back but Emily held him in place with a hand on the back of the neck. She paused for a second then tipped her head back just enough to look up at him with a flirtatious smirk.
"Jack's away tonight?" She leaned into him again and placed a hard kiss on his neck.
"When we're done, Emily." He said gently pushing her back by her shoulders.
"Where was this control last week?" She leaned back against the couch with a little pout.
"This one is serious. And I can't believe it never came up before." He looked around the room nervously. He wasn't sure why this made him uncomfortable asking. "Birth control? I don't think I could handle an accident right now." Every time they had been together there were condoms involved but he needed to be sure they were covered. At another time he would get around to asking her why she had them in her go bag to start with.
"We weren't really in the mood for talking then were we?" She raised an eyebrow at him. He glared back. "Short of having my tubes tied, I'm on the most effective kind. And no need to worry about forgetting on a case. I've had an IUD for about four years now." He felt his body relax, she must have noticed because she was smiling at him. "And in case you are wondering I haven't slept with anyone but you since this started. Not that I was seeing anyone before. Clean bill of health too. In the name of honesty," she added holding up her hand. "Now will you kiss me?"
"I think I can manage more than that."
AN 1: Sorry, no accidental babies in my world. They're in their 40s and Emily made it through years of being a spy without any souvenirs, I figure her birth control would be more reliable and discreet than a pill.
AN 2: Clearly I like this idea of Hotch continuing to make deals with her, it's kinda their thing.
