A/N: So, we've finally come to that point in the story… Yikes! Feedback would be super appreciated on this one given that there's a lot to take in for our fave pair (I think?). Also I promised smut, and here it be.
Enjoy another chapter!
CHAPTER 10: PLEASE STAY (PART 2)
Playlist: "There's No Place Like Home" — Michael Giacchino, "Lover, Please Stay" — Nothing But Thieves, "The Hug" — Alti Örvarsson
Frigga never went beyond that, but Ellie never pushed her for an explanation either. She knew she was right; Loki should be the one to inform her as the what the hell was going on.
She stayed in the royal chambers until two Einherjar came bursting through the door, explaining that the Allfather had fallen into a very poorly-timed Odinsleep. They were followed by more guards who entered the room, carrying an unconscious (or conscious? She wasn't sure…) Odin atop a stretcher. As he was gently moved to the large bed in the centre of the room, the guards explained that Prince Loki was the one who raised the alarm.
Without missing a beat, Frigga turned to face Ellie. "You best go to see if he is okay."
Firmly nodding, the young woman took her leave and went to Loki's chambers as quickly as she could, using their soul bond to locate him in the palace. She entered the room without knocking, knowing that he probably wouldn't care ether way, and locked the door behind her. She was greeted with the sight of Loki pacing up and down in front of the fireplace. He looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes before he shook his head, looked away, and continued pacing.
"You should not have come here," he mumbled, wringing his hands.
She stood still for a moment, confused by the cold response. "Excuse me?"
"You should not be here," he insisted.
"Why? I needed'ta make sure you were okay."
"You need do no such thing."
"Loki—"
"Leave me!" he snapped, halting in his steps and finally looking at her.
She knew this move well — obviously he was pushing her away. It was something he hadn't done since she confessed her love for him, so whatever occurred between him and his father must have been serious. She hadn't expected it to derail him so much but, if Frigga's words were anything to go by, whatever information he discovered had been difficult to comprehend.
So, Ellie defied him. She wasn't going to let him push her away this time, not when he probably needed her more than ever. "No."
"I beg your pardon?" he growled, eyes narrowing.
"I'm not goin' anywhere, Loki."
"You will go wherever I tell you to go!"
"Not when you're just pushin' me away, I won't! Look, whatever Odin told you, we can get through this together. You don't have'ta do it on your own."
He scoffed, shaking his head. "You foolish girl—"
"Oh no, you do not get to call me a fool! You're the one who insists on pushin' me away when I could help you deal with whatever ails you. That's foolish!"
There was a brief silence between them. The crackling of the fire was the only sound to be heard before he spoke again, his voice significantly quieter this time around. "You cannot help me."
"I can try."
She could see the muscles in his jaw tensing — he was really, genuinely trying not to shout. Given her upbringing and her reaction to the last time he yelled a few years ago, he always refrained from raising his voice. The silence between them grew long and strained, Ellie giving him as much time as he needed before he spoke again. With a slight shake of the head, and a single tear sliding down his pale cheek, he focused on the fireplace.
"If I told you," he began, voice meek but sincere. "You would not love me."
"Not love you?" she asked, stumped by the insinuation. "Loki, that's not possible. I love you more than anythin'."
He spoke bitterly, unfazed by her declaration. "You don't truly know that which you love."
"What do you mean?"
"Me. You don't truly know me. By the Nine, it turns out I do not even know myself."
"But you're my best friend," she said without hesitation. "I grew up with you and spent all my time with you. I don't think there's anyone else on Asgard — in my life — that I'm closer with than you. What makes you think that anythin' could change that? Or change my feelin's for you?"
"What if you knew I was a monster?" he asked her. "What if I told you of my true parentage, as Odin has just told me?"
True parentage? A monster?
Before she could reply, Loki continued on, forcing the words out as he struggled to be honest with her. "What if I told you, that all those years ago, when Odin Allfather defeated the Frost Giants, the Casket was not the only relic which he stole from Jotunheim? That Laufey's runt of a son, a mere baby, was left to rot on that frozen rock! That Odin took him to use as a pawn to unite the two realms together, and nothing more!" He took a deep breath, trying to steady his rising anxiety, his shoulders shaking as he expressed nothing but anguish recalling the story. "Odin lied to me — he told me I was his son, but I am nothing more than an abandoned Jötunn bastard who was thrown out, lied to, and locked up until there might be some use for me. That is what he told me, Ellie, and that is what I am — I am no son of Odin, no brother of Thor… No Asgardian prince. I am a monster who was unwanted by all. How could you ever love that? How could you ever want anything to do with me when I am one of them?"
Ellie stood completely still, shocked by the story he had shared. Loki? A Frost Giant? The very thought sent her reeling — not because she thought of him as some beast, but because no one ever told him. Why would Odin and Frigga withhold his true parentage? Surely this would just enforce the mere idea that being a Jötunn was a terrible thing?
While she was taking in the news, Loki, in a rare and raw display of emotion, was shaking by the fire place as tears rolled down his face, culminating at his quivering chin before they dropped to the rug beneath his feet. The sight had her heart breaking and tears building in her own eyes, so she moved to hold him, to touch him, to comfort him in some way that she knew would help. To tell him that this confession could never change how she felt for him.
"Stay away!" he urged her, stumbling back to turn away from her. "Don't touch me!"
"Loki, please," she insisted, struggling to keep the tears from falling. "I just want to help you. Odin did the right thing in savin' you, but it wasn't right for him to not tell you the truth. I need you to know that it makes no difference to me — Frost Giant or Asgardian or mortal — I still love you."
With his back to her, he laughed bitterly, though his voice conveyed no confidence. All she heard was disgust and sorrow. "Impossible. You have never even seen the real me."
"Then show me," she replied with more confidence, stepping forward so that she was standing right behind him. "If that's what it takes to prove I'm not lyin' to you, then show me."
Her statement was met with silence, but she said nothing more, waiting for him to either accept or reject her suggestion. She knew he wanted to run — god, she could feel all of the emotions seeping out of him and consuming her. The fear, the anger, the sadness, the confusion, the self-hatred… Knowing this was how he felt destroyed her. She only hoped that she could help him realise his worth, no matter his parentage.
"If I show you," he began slowly, refusing to turn and face her. "I fear you will run from me and never look back."
She took a deep breath, tasting salty tears on her lips. "Nothin' will move me from this spot, I swear to you."
"So be it."
The air in the room immediately changed, chilling slightly so that Ellie could feel its cool bite on her bare arms. Even still she stood confidently, waiting for her lover to turn and face her. After a beat, he did, his movements slow and hesitant as he built up the courage to show her. His blue skin became apparent as his head moved, revealing the characteristic narrow ridges on his brow and forehead. Tears stained his blue cheeks as he turned most of the way around to rest his bright red eyes on her. And there he stood — Loki, son of Laufey, Prince of Jotunheim.
And yet, he was far more than that — far more to her.
She hadn't expected it, but he seemed different to the Jötunns they had faced only hours before. She wasn't frightened or intimidated by the sight of him. Instead, he was still Loki and he was still beautiful. How could she ever leave him while he looked so vulnerable? While he laid himself out bare for her to ridicule and judge? Who could have the heart to hurt him more than already had been done?
"Well?" he asked, his voice horse. "Here I am. The monster you claim to love. Do I horrify you? Does it disgust you to know you have let me touch you? That you let this bed you?"
She stared in amazement, running her eyes along the intricate patterns on his forehead and down the side of his neck. "You're…beautiful."
He stood silent, surprised by the statement, his eyes flitting over her face before he uttered. "You lie."
"You're the lie-smith," she answered. "So you know that right now I'm tellin' the truth. It doesn't matter whether you're Asgardian or Jötunn — you'll always be beautiful to me, and if I need to spend the rest of my life helpin' you believe that, then I'll stay right here doin' just that."
Slowly, she reached her hand up, wishing to touch the skin he hated so much, to show him that he was no monster and that she didn't fear him. He flinched at the sight of her hand, red eyes wide with fright. "I-I will hurt you."
"You've never hurt me before," she reassured him and, with as much care as she could muster, cupped his cheek in her hand.
The burning pain never came. Instead, he felt as cool as always under her hand and she delighted in knowing that she could still touch him in his true form. She truly meant everything she had said to him.
The contact broke Loki. With a cry, he rested his own hand over hers, tears streaming uncontrollably down his face as he chest heaved with each unsteady sob from his throat. "Why do you not run from me? How can you love me?"
"'Cause you're still my Loki. I didn't fall for you 'cause you're Asgardian or 'cause you're royalty. This doesn't change anythin' that we've shared over the years. You're still the most important thing in my life, love."
Now cupping his face in bother of her hands, she cried with him as he openly wept, firmly grasping at her fingers. "I do not deserve you, Ellie. Your loyalty is foolish…"
"Says the guy who took on two crazy, hostile gods for one little mortal."
"What else could I do? I don't know what I would do without you by my side. That is why…" He took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself. "That is why I was afraid to tell you. If you were to leave me—"
"Not a chance," she interrupted, pressing her forehead against his. "I'm not goin' anywhere."
"Please don't leave me," he sobbed, shaking his head. "I cannot do this without you, Ellie. I cannot."
"And you won't." She pulled him into a firm embrace, holding him as tight as she could. "I know you're weary, and so am I, but you won't have'ta do this on your own. Remember what we promised each other? We're in this together."
"Together," he repeated. "Always together."
Pulling back to check on him, the sight of his broken expression was too much for her. Doing everything in her power to assure him that this changed nothing between them, she reached up and pressed her lips against his. He jolted in surprise, breaking the kiss in the process. He kept his eyes firmly shut, and Ellie watched in wonder as his blue skin was slowly replaced with his usual pale complexion.
"You love me still?" he asked, voice quiet.
"I always will."
At that, his eyes opened. No longer bright and red, she was met with his green irises before he dipped his head down and captured her lips in a searing kiss. She responded in kind, eyes drifting shut as he pulled her firmly against him with shaking hands.
He broke their connection only to ask her. "Please, I need you. I need to… I need to feel you."
"And so you'll have me," she said. "Take from me whatever you need."
This time they met in the middle, resuming their kiss and holder each other as tightly as possible. Ellie could taste their mingled tears on her lips, but didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him closer. As their embrace grew more heated, she too realised that she needed him just as much as he needed her. When his large hands drifted to her thighs, she helped him hoist her up and wrapped her legs around his slim waist. He wasted no time in getting to the nearest surface, which happened to be the wall next to his desk. With her back firmly pressed on the cool surface, and one of his hands keeping her left leg hooked across his hip, she planted the other leg on the desk. He groaned into her mouth and had their clothes vanish with a small wave of his hand.
She broke this kiss to moan as he ground his hardness between her legs. His breath fanned across her face as his nose nuzzled hers. The vulnerability in his eyes made her shiver and she slid her hands into his raven hair to grasp it between her fingers. With his forehead pressed against hers, he grasped his length in his free hand and caressed it against her entrance teasingly, hooded eyes focused on every expression that crossed her face.
With a low groan he entered her.
She inhaled sharply. The stretch burned, her body not yet fully ready for the intrusion in their haste, but she welcomed him eagerly nonetheless. His concerned gaze met hers, but she shook her head and pulled him into a kiss, basking in the feeling of his hard chest against her bare breasts.
"I do not deserve this kindness," he whispered roughly, grasping her breast softly and pinching the nipple. "Nor do I deserve to be with you like this."
Her reply was insistent as her hands slipped to hold his shoulders. "You deserve it all and more, and I can assure you; only you will have me like this."
Her confession set him off and he began to thrust hard and deep before she could say anymore. She was pliant in his grasp, trusting him not to drop her or hurt her. Each forceful buck of his hips had her gasping. She wasn't alone in her pleasure, as Loki was grunting lowly, letting himself be consumed with the sensation of her heat and wetness. Ellie too found herself lost in the sensation as he found the spot inside her that caused her back to arch. Sparks of pleasure shot through her body and she could only whimper as he dipped his head to nip on her breasts. Her muscles clenched around him uncontrollably, his rough thrusts growing more desperate.
"I'm goin' t'come," she whispered quietly, pressing her face into the cook of his neck as she felt her body tense up.
Spurred on by her pleasure — as he always was — the gentle touch of his hand on her neck forced her eyes open again. Careful not to hurt her, he tilted her head up so that he could look into her eyes, both of them too overwhelmed with sensations and emotions to hold back their tears.
"L-look at me," he grunted, quickening his pace and forcefully pumping his hips as hard as he could, the rough patch of dark hair beneath his naval grinding against the most sensitive part of her. "Please. Look at me when you— oh, Gods… Look at me w-when you come."
With one more harsh thrust, she came, holding his gaze until her eyes slammed shut and her lips parted in a silent moan. His whole body pressed her into the wall as her muscles rhythmically clamped down on him, urging him to finish inside her. Mind foggy as the pleasure of their connection consumed her, her head tilted back and met the wall behind her.
"Gods, you look ravishing," he hissed, not an ounce of insincerity in his voice. "I love you so much."
"I love you too."
His lips were on hers again once he resumed his movements, quickening the pace in a desperate attempt to reach his own release. He put his entire body into long, quick thrusts with his hips, letting himself go and thoroughly fucking her until she felt the familiar coil tightening only minutes after she came the first time.
Her legs shivered and tensed. His shaking hand delicately touched her breast as his hips stuttered with his impending orgasm.
She didn't have to say anything. She didn't need to tell him that he could come inside her, that she wanted to feel him claim her. It was evident in the way she looked at him, in the delight she experienced knowing he wanted no one but her. With his eyes closed and his mouth hung open he cried out, forcing himself inside her as deep as possible as he came with one last hard push. His release triggered her second, her own gasps mingling with his pants and grunts. The feeling of his hard body freezing against hers was comforting and familiar, and she clung to his clenching rear with both hands so that they wouldn't separate as he emptied himself inside her. They stayed there, basking in the familiar feeling of being so intimate. His arms help her in a crushing but safe embrace, the hand still clasping her hooked leg sure to leave bruises.
Their coupling did nothing to solve the unfortunate truth that Loki had just learned, and Ellie knew this. She couldn't brush the lies under the carpet as Odin had done, not when they were in such a dire situation already. She needed to support him and reassure him that though she couldn't speak for Asgard, she was sure nothing would change between them. If physical intimacy helped him to believe it, then how could she deny him?
"Nothin' will change between us, okay?" she said, gently stroking his hair. "You're still Loki to me."
"You would pledge yourself to a monster?" he asked as he slowly lowered her burning legs to the floor.
"I pledged myself to you, and you're no monster, Loki. This doesn't change how I feel 'bout you, and if I have'ta spend the rest of my life provin' that to you, then so be it. I love you, your family loves you, and we're not goin' anywhere, okay?"
Though still visibly unsure, he let his forehead rest against hers and nodded. "Alright." His hands delicately gripped her hips as he severed their connection to pull her into a comforting hug. "I… Thank you, Ellie. You don't know how…" He paused and let out an unsteady breath. "Just… Thank you."
It was a difficult time for the young lovers. As if the days ahead weren't already uncertain due to Thor's banishment, now a centuries-old secret had been uncovered that could very well tip the youngest Prince of Asgard over the edge. Though she held him in her arms without hesitance, Ellie knew this wasn't the end of it. As if Loki wasn't already given the short straw, now he was given a rather difficult explanation to swallow. His entire life, his entire sense of self, had been a lie… She was sure his mind was racing to awful conclusions.
All she could do was be there for him and tell him that he was no monster. She firmly believed it too.
In her eyes, and those of anyone with a sympathetic heart, Loki could never be a monster.
