Back again! Holars! Here's your chappie for the week!

So he wasn't faking it! But is Marik aware of that? Find out in this chapter!
Do NOT be alarmed by the chapter title. The only people who need to be alarmed are those IN the chapter.

MARIK FANGIRLS, PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!

Warning: Contains yaoi, sexiness, a self-insert, a traumatized Ryou, many lemons, Soup, explosives, Pokémon, and many British things.

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, Hetalia, Skylanders, Skylanders Giants, A Perfect Circle, Happy Tree Friends, Pokémon, any of their characters, any tea-making skills, or the British language.

R&R

ENJOY~!


~Meanwhile, in Marik's room...~

"I don't believe you!"

"It's true! He was faking it!"

"Not to brag on my influence and power here, but I wrote the freaking story so I would know if he's lying. And he isn't."

"He was. When he got off of me, there wasn't a single sign that he had been serious! He was faking it to get you and Ryou out of the room! He's Bakura. He has the self-control of a TV holding it's own remote!"

The three of us were in Marik's room. Marik and I were standing in front of the bed, close to the door. Ryou was on the bed, watching us argue. A few moments ago, he had burst in shouting that Bakura had been faking his reaction, which I immediately responded to by saying he was wrong. At the moment, we were forehead-to-forehead, arguing about it.

"No! I know you're wrong! I saw that face. It wasn't faked! I bet you five million quid that Bakura was legitimately and totally aroused when you were pulling on his bunny ears and when he was kissing you on the couch and oh my frigging Ra I cannot believe I just said all of that out loud with a straight face I am so proud of myself!" I squealed and jumped up and down a few times to congratulate myself, then went back to glaring at Marik, our foreheads pressed against each other.

"Wrong! If he was 'legitimately and totally aroused' as you said, then why didn't I notice? My ankle was right over his crotch and I didn't feel a thing! How do you explain that?!"

"Oh seriously?" I quieted a bit. "Wow I thought that he was and your leg was just covering it..."

"Cuz there was nothing to cover. He just wanted you out of the room."

"No! I insist! Maybe he's just really good at hiding it! Why would he try to get me out of the room when clearly all he wanted to do was keep me in there and pelt me with metaphorical thiefshipping and literal lemons! He wanted me there to torture me! Admit it! You totally drove Bakura crazy and you're trying to justify it. It's totally your fault! You ruined a perfectly good game Ryou and I were playing, ended a totally awesome lemon war that I would have eventually won, and were too stupid to notice that you were pulling on his hair!"

"Shut up! You're not his girlfriend! You don't know him that well."

"Don't know him that well? The thing about his bunny ears was an idea of mine long before you even watched that episode of Hetalia in the first chapter!"

"Aquailita, I'm amazed that you were able to say all of that with such a straight face," Ryou said to me.

I smiled at him. "Thank you," I said to him before turning back to Marik.

"It was the second chapter. And if you're so high and mighty and all-knowing, Ms. Authoress, then why were you unprepared for the lemon attack?"

"It was in the first chapter that you watched Hetalia! And because I-"

Suddenly, completely out of nowhere, I felt Marik's lips touch mine briefly. I reacted instantly. I pushed him away and felt to the ground, backing away from him until I reached the wall, screaming, "OMG HOLY SHIT GET AWAY GET THE BLOODY FUCKING FRIG AWAY FROM ME YOU SODDING WANKER I DON'T LIKE YOU YOU'RE NOT BAKURA I'M NOT YOUR FANGIRL WHY THE BUGGER WOULD YOU KISS ME OH MY RA!" I finally stopped talking so I could catch my breath. The smirk on Marik's face told me that he done what he did because he knew I would react like that and he wanted to freak me out. And it was obvious, too. Most thiefshipping fangirls also liked either Marik or Bakura, rarely both. So it would make sense that a Bakura fangirl freak out if touched by a Marik, yami or hikari. Right?

He knew. He now knew how to torture me. Not just Aquailita me, but fangirl me.

"What the hell!" I cried as I stood up and calmed myself down. "I can't believe you would... Okay that is IT! From now on, I'm serious about you and Bakura in this story. The lemon thing was probably a metaphoric message to me that I should let you two at each other, but what you did right there just now TOTALLY ruined it! You and Bakura seriously and really do not get to have sex in this fanfic anymore! I didn't want to write a lemon chapter anyway! Never did! No more lemons! Not even the fruit kind!"

Marik drew back and gasped loudly, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping. "You aren't serious..."

I folded my arms and glared at him. "I am."

"You aren't!"

"I am."

"Ryou! Convince your adoring fangirl to say that she isn't!"

Ryou shrugged. "She is."

"She is not!" a voice responded from the door to Marik's room. We all turned to find Bakura leaning against the door frame with his arms folded and his eyes locked on me. He stormed in, stood between Marik and I, and addressed me.

"Marik is mine!" he growled at me. "And I have the right to do whatever the bugger I want with him! I don't care what power you have, you can't keep us apart forever!"

"Aw...how romantic, Fluffy!" Marik said with a sigh, clasping his hands all dramatic-like.

"Sod off, Marik, I'm talking."

"Geez, I was just saying how-"

Bakura made a show of walking over to Marik, pulling Marik close to him by his waist, and kissing him full and passionately on the lips.

Marik melted into that kiss, and his legs went all wobbly and his knees went weak. He wasn't alone; my knees went weak as well. "Holy frig so sexy..." I murmured. Bakura knew full well how I would react to his sudden romantic display, just as Marik knew how I would react to an unwanted...(to keep the Marik fangirls from tearing me apart, and to keep my Bakura inner fangirl sane, I will not repeat what Marik did).

"Stop it before I become one of those fangirls who nosebleeds. Which I'm not."

Whether he was complying with my wishes or if he was going to do so anyway, Bakura pulled away from Marik and looked at me. Marik's eyes looked sad and his lips looked like they were lonely and missing Bakura's mouth. His tongue seemed to agree with his lips.

I glanced at Ryou, who was covering his eyes with his hands and probably had been doing so since Bakura came in. "You can open your eyes now. They're done."

Ryou trusted me and uncovered his eyes, letting out a breath he had been holding in. "Whew!"

"So as you can see, Aquailita," Bakura continued, "I can do whatever I want. I have every right in the world to take it as far as I want."

"No you bloody don't!" Ryou suddenly exclaimed.

Bakura turned to him and blinked, thinking he had misheard his hikari. "Excuse me? What was that?"

Ryou stood up and walked over to Bakura, and stood up straight in front of him in the most awe-inspiring show of bravery from Ryou in his yami's face. "You do NOT have every right in the world to do whatever you want with him! You keep forgetting that it is MY body that you are using, and I do not appreciate the fact and knowledge that you let Marik run his hands all over it whenever you want to! I want my body back and I refuse to let this go on any further without my feelings being considered. This is why I hate you, yami. You have taken over my life far too much and I insist that you let me have my body back!"

When he was done, an awkward silence filled the room.

Which Marik broke ever-so-stupidly. "Ryou, not for nothing, but I do want a say in this as well. And I say Bakura gets to stay with me. I love him. That's already two against one. Bakura doesn't care what our authoress says, so it doesn't really matter. And even if it did, she would totally side with theifshipping. Isn't that right, Aquailta?"

"Uh...!" I was now torn. (lol torn.) What should I do? Side with thiefshipping, or side with Ryou? Side with my favorite pairing, or side with my favorite character? Side with sexy, or side with cute? That right there... Although I'm not a fangirl of Marik, as a true fan of YGO I feel obligated to honestly admit that Marik is sexy. Who would deny that, fangirl or not?!

When it comes down to it, my decision had to be based off of which Bakura I'd rather be helping. The cute adorable one, or the evil sexy one? Should be easy, right? Seing as the evil one tried to pelt me to death with fruit.

But I couldn't decide! I loved both of the Bakuras! If it was Thief Bakura instead of Yami Bakura, the choice would be a lot easier. But it wasn't. It was Yami Bakura. So what do I choose?! Thiefshipping or Ryou?! Sexiness or freedom?!

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH I DON'T KNOW!" I screamed. I ran out of the room.

"Aqua wait!" Ryou shouted as he ran after me.

The two thieves exchanged confused glances.
Marik's face seemed to ask: "what did we just do?"
Bakura's face replied: "i think i just made my fangirl cry..."


What will I choose?! I don't bloody know! Thiefshipping or Ryou's sanity? You're all probably shouting "THIEFSHIPPING THIEFSHIPPING WHO CARES ABOUT RYOU WHO'S RYOU, ANYWAY?!"
lolz. You'll see...yoooouuuu'llll seeeeeeee...

See you next chapter!

BYEEEEEEEEEE~!